Journal of Black Shadow

Ascending Winter, 1, 1816

The end of the Harvest period is today. Matthew and Tyler decided to stop by with Gavner and show us a few things. They called it ‘New Year’s’, the day that the previous year ended and the next year begins. Where they come from, the people throw a giant party celebrating this ending of the year. I must say, his people are weird.

Espoir loved the party though, so I may decide to make it a yearly thing. Tyler and Espoir have grown immensely close with her, it’s almost as though he treats her like his daughter. The party began with games. It was fairly easy to catch on; Matthew took a stack of cards and handed them out to each player. The point of the first game was to have the fewest points on the table. Each player got four cards, picked two and looked at them. When it was your turn you would pick a card from the top of the stack and if it was worth fewer points than one in your hand you would exchange it. If not you would put it down. If the person ahead of you put down a low scoring card in the stack, you could take it and replace it with one of your two cards face down. I think he called it something like ‘Polish Poker’ maybe.

Espoir was very good at this game, or maybe it was just luck; either way she won… a lot. She was so happy, we even made bets and she took all the money at the end. I love seeing her so happy. At one point she would win and cheer, standing up and rubbing it in. We all just laughed when she did this.

At about ten, Gavner brought in the meat, cheese, and crackers. This was apparently another tradition for Tyler. He would slice the meat, it was a deer, into smaller pieces and slice the cheese into small squares. Put the meat and cheese between two crackers and you had a very tasty snack, though they insisted it was the meal, I was still a bit hungry and had to sneak some more food of my own.

Once we were all full, Matt and Tyler had decided we were going to have a fire. The snow had not yet started falling so Gavner and I agreed and we all searched for firewood. Matt and Gavner spend ten minutes trying to light the fire, but eventually they accomplished that. Espoir grew cold quickly and had to sit by the fire to warm up. We spent the next hour telling stories and staying warm.

“Okay guys, there’s about ten minutes left,” Matthew said before midnight. “When it gets to midnight we all have to shout ‘Happy New Years.’” Gavner and I thought this was weird but agreed. We waited and waited, and then Matt and Tyler started counting.

“Ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two, one, Happy New Years!”

We all held up our glasses of wine, (Espoir had grape juice) tapped glasses, and drank. Espoir went to bed shortly after because she was so tired, and the rest of us stayed up through the night, talking and sharing stories. This is one tradition that I think we will carry on for the rest of our lives.

Ascending Winter, 2, 1816

I’m starting to feel the effects of this ‘New Years’ thing. Espoir woke up this morning and was cranky. I knew she wasn’t a big morning person but this is ridiculous. When she first woke up, she would not stop complaining about how she wanted something to eat, but every time I suggested something for her, she’d say “No, I don’t want that.” I spent nearly an hour arguing with her about what she should eat.

Not too long after that she started to have a headache, and feel a bit sick. She would not stop talking and saying how badly it hurt. I hated this part because I could not help her. It did not matter how hard I tried, the headache would not go away. She cried a lot and it was awful. I hate seeing my baby girl like that. She eventually took a nap, which was nice because I had a whole hour to myself.

I did not use my hour very well, most of the time I was outside, collecting wood for our fire tonight. It was supposed to snow today, and surely enough it did. I really hope that Espoir feel better soon. When she woke from her nap, her headache was mostly gone, but it was still there. She decided she felt good enough to go outside, and that’s what she did. For a few hours, Espoir had taken the time to build an igloo, three snowmen, and a fort. The fort though was not finished before she had to come inside.

She became too cold and came inside where I had waiting for her some hot chocolate. She loved hot chocolate, especially when it was cold and snowing. I started the fire and read her a book, but after half way through the book I could see she was becoming tired. After last night though, she wanted to stay up. I had to argue with her some more, and even threaten to ground her. She did not take that very well.

Espoir threw a fit, kicking, screaming, and trying everything to make me change my mind. It hurt me more than she could image to ground her and send her to her room. She stood slowly and walked to her room with her head down, shutting the door when she walked in. I stood in the center of the living room staring at her door. I hate seeing her mad, she’s so cute and funny, I never wanted to see her sad or mad.

I waited a few minutes then opened the door. She was rolled over on her side, facing the wall. I could hear her sniffling, trying to hold back her tears. I shook her arm and she rolled over to look at me. “What?” she asked, a tear streamed down her face.

“I’m sorry I had to do that,” I signed to her. “I hate grounding you, you know that right?”

She just shook her head yes. “I love you Easpoir,” I said giving her a hug.

“I love you too,” she said, giving me a big hug. I then tucked her into bed, gave her a kiss on her cheek, and went to bed.

Ascending Winter, 3, 1816
Espoir would not come out of her room today. I grounded her yesterday and she really hates when I do that. I tried this morning to talk to her but she would not even let me into her room. The one time I tried to enter I felt something in front of her door. I think she actually pushed her toy box in front of the door. I could easily have moved it or broken down the door, but that would have made her even more mad.

I let her be today, even though it killed me to know how mad she was. I spent most of today outside, testing my new bow. Gavner, my best friend, went on a long journey with Koli and Drake to get me it, and this was the first time I actually used it more than once.

I set up a target, one that was not too hard to hit, but not too easy. I notched an arrow on the red string and aimed. Upon release, a deep base sound emanated from the bow. It was beautiful. The arrow reached the target almost instantly, cutting clear through it. I then heard a sound of something falling to the ground.

I walked up to where the sound came and noticed a deer. My arrow had cut through the deer and stuck into the tree behind it. I needed to go hunting anyway, so this was going to be our dinner. I dragged the deer to the fence out back and began to clean and gut the deer. Espoir's window is right beside the fence, so I took a quick peek at her. She was curled up into a ball, facing the window. The sight of that killed me inside. I quickly finished and then placed it on a block of ice outside the front door.

I tried again to talk to Espoir but she still would not let me in, so I had an idea. I took my bow and pulled a chair right outside her door. I sat down and began to pluck the strings of my bow, knowing that with each string there was a different sound. I played soft enough to hear her if she spoke, yet loud enough so she could hear it. I played for close to an hour, nothing coming from her. I hoped that she would come out and talk to me, but it did not work. After a few minutes I had to go, it was time for me to cook dinner. I plucked the last note of a song I knew from when I was a boy, then stood and placed my bow down.

"Daddy?" I heard Espoir say. "Please don't stop."

I smiled, picked up the bow, and continued to play. I played for a half hour then heard Espoir's tiny voice faintly.

"Don't you cry
I'll be here soon
To take this pain away.

Don't you worry
about one thing
For I will save the day.

And I will be here today
To take away this pain
And I will love you evermore
And make you feel okay."

I stopped and opened the door. She had moved everything from in front of the door and was standing there, tears dripping down her eyes. "Dad... I love you," She said, beginning to cry and giving me a hug. I bent down and hugged her back. We stayed there for a couple minutes, me comforting her, before I picked her up, looked her in the eyes, and mouthed "I love you too. "I then took her to the kitchen and made dinner.

I ungrounded her for tomorrow, put her to bed, and went to bed myself.

Ascending Winter, 4, 1816
Today was Espoir and I’s shopping day. We loaded up our baskets in the cart her and I made a few months ago, tied them to the horses, and headed out. It’s always a long ride to the city, but the ride is always beautiful. The trees lost their leaves already and sow was on the ground. I was cold, but I was already used to it from the past few years of wearing this thin outfit. Espoir on the other hand was not used to it and was freezing.

I always bundled her up in a coat, scarf, gloves, and hat, but today it still bothered her. A few times I had to stop and warm her up before continuing. It was nearly midday before we reached the city. Espoir and I began searching the city for the market as it seemed to move around from day to day. When we found the market, we began searching for our items. The marketplace was always her favorite; I can see her becoming a traveling merchant some day.

A voice rose up from the crowd, the voice of a young girl about Espoir’s age, the voice of her friend, Lexa. Espoir and Lexa ran to each other, giving hugs and talking. I looked at her and realized what she was about to ask. She turned around she asked me if her and Lexa could go and play. I tool a second to think before signing to her yes. She smiled, gave me a hug, then the two of them ran off.

I spent the next hour shopping, looking for the items on my list. Food was the main thing, firewood, and some clothing for Espoir. She was getting bigger and bigger every day. I did do some shopping of my own though. I stopped at one shop, noticing a rack full of bows to add to my collection. There were many bows, but there was only one that I actually wanted to see. It was a beauty, gently crafted to be only two feet from top to bottom, yet at the same time I could tell how strong it was. When I picked it up, I could feel the powerful enchantment that the bow possessed. I whistled, calling over the owner, and hoping he spoke sign language I asked him the price.

Sadly, the lowest I could barter the price to was two-thousand gold pieces. Obviously the shopkeeper was stubborn and expensive, there was no way that bow was worth more than five-hundred gold pieces. I put it down and thanked him for letting me look at it, then headed back to the spot I would meet Espoir.

On the way I noticed someone garbed in the Ixian Knight’s uniform. He spotted me, and then walked towards me. I knew I was needed. I walked up to the man and he told me I was needed at the castle. I bowed, he left, and then I found Espoir. She had a fun day playing with Lexa and wanted to play more. I told her we had to go, but she insisted, so I decided to take them both. Lexa lived in the Ixian castle, so they could play there. We took the groceries to the cart and headed for the castle.

Ascending Winter, 5, 1816
I set out on my mission today. Apparently I have to scout out an area for enemies of the Knights, see their camp, and make note of their strength. These are always my favorite missions. I am fast, stealthy, I know my way around places, and I love stealth missions. What I hate about going on a mission like this though… traveling to the destination. It was always a slow process because I had to make it there without being noticed. This meant walking silently, no running or riding a horse, a few days, in the snow.

I don’t usually get cold, but when I’m out in it for this long it starts to get to me. When night time comes I have to be very careful with my fire if I make one at all. But hey, I’ve gotten used to it. After I walked about an hour I began to think and estimate the time I’d have to take to get there… at least three days. Three full days. Guess I had better get used to the cold.

I had to take a couple stops today, mainly to rest and have a drink. The snow caused my feet to feel numb, so that didn’t help. The trees were always welcome as they blocked most of the wind. I don’t know what I would have done had the trees not been there. When I wanted to see where I was all I needed to do was climb a tree and I could easily see where I was.

It soon became dark and I knew that I had to stop and make camp. I am lucky there was a cave nearby or I never would have been able to survive the night. I can withstand the cold, but with no fire it being below freezing, I never would have survived. I entered the cave slowly, notching an arrow. It was dark but I could see. When I noticed that the cave was empty, I put the arrow away and gathered firewood.

I had to be very careful to make sure the fire did not grow too large. If it became too big I could be noticed and attacked. It had to be big enough to keep me warm but not too big as to let light escape the cavern. I am very good at making fires so it wasn’t that hard, but keeping it down proved to be a challenge. When it felt too big I would remove a stick or two to make the fire smaller, but when I would do that I would make it too small and it would not warm me. Eventually I did find that happy medium and I was able to rest and warm myself up.

I sat there for a bit of time, still too cold to fall asleep. My feet were the worst, and took a lot longer to warm up then the rest of my body. Hopefully tomorrow I get to be just as lucky.

Ascending Winter, 6, 1816
I woke up today freezing. The fire had died and the cold of the night crept into the cave. Today was going to suck. I started my trek again early, the sun was not quite peeking over the horizon, and the moon was still easily visible. A bit away from my cave there was another cave, and this one was not so empty. I did not enter, but what I could hear was the sounds of growls and small howls of wolf pups.

This would be trouble if I did not get away fast, so I hurried and crept away from the place and tried to move as fast as I could. Luckily I was not noticed, but it is never a good thing to be in a wolf pack’s territory. If I did not move fast, they would begin their hunt for food and I’d be first in line.

I hoped that they would leave me alone, and lucky or me they did. I walked for ours today before stopping, hoping I could find my destination much easier and faster than if I stopped. I even took a few risks with some running. From what I know, they have yet to notice me.

One time I did stop though and things got ugly. I had to eat; I was starving, so I killed a rabbit. This rabbit though must have been hunted, because once I shot it something was not very happy. I could have said someone, but they weren’t human. They got mad at me for killing their hunt, threatened to kill me. I had to give them the rabbit and keep moving, I apparently took their kill.

After a thought though, I realized what I had to do. With them living in this area, that means their enemy knows about them, and that means they will talk to them. I hated to do it, but with the flick of my fingers, the man fell limp. It was always hard to end the life of an innocent, but I did what I had to do to protect the mission.

I had to hide his body which was not hard. I dragged it to a nearby cave and left him there, praying no one would find him. I then continued on my way, until it grew dark and I had to stop. I could not find any place to stay this time, so I had to lie down in the snow, nothing to keep me warm. It was so bitter cold and the wind would go straight through my suit, the only thing I hated about what I wore.

I can’t sleep tonight. I don’t know what’s wrong, but something is not right. I feel like someone… something is watching me. I will stay awake tonight, keeping an eye out. If something happens to me I hope this makes it back to Espoir. Espoir, if something happens to me I want you to know that I love you.

Thread: Journal of Black Shadow
Participant: Black Shadow
Type: No Judgment

Black Shadow receives:
620 EXP
70 GP

All EXP and GP have been added!