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Luned barely noticed Caelan's misstep, so fixated was she on their destination. Boots scuffed over tiny dunes of drifting white sand as she began to walk toward the path, but within moments of departure from the dock, the island came to life. Shadows swept through the treetops over their intended path and Luned hesitated, squinting into the foliage. "Did you see something?" she inquired aloud, referring to the tall fellow nearby.
No sooner than she began to speculate, however, the beach was stormed by several horrific creatures of nightmarish proportions. Luned found herself seized by terror, limbs stiff and unresponsive in the face of arachnids that she previously deemed her fear of "irrational". There was nothing irrational about them, that was for sure. The young woman hadn't noticed but her feet began retreating on their own, stumbling back a few haphazard steps until she nearly tripped over a piece of driftwood. That accidental contact brought her to her sense, fortunately, and her fingers sought numbly at her waist for her small weapon. Were these the individuals who created and kept the map they were investigating? She really should've taken Resolve up on that lesson in self-defense before departure...
But there was no extra time to think. Luned was off the docks, on the sand, and in the way of some frighteningly majestic beasts with spindly legs that she was sure would make quick work of her, not to mention the cutlasses of their pursuers. The thought of being trampled by a horse was much more appealing for some morbid reason, but she didn't have much choice as one strayed from the group and came skittering in her direction.
With a panicked curse or two Luned dashed out of its way, making a wide circumference around the skirmish, but the group scattered quickly and she soon found herself in the midst of expert slaying on the part of the pirates. In the safety of the library she fancied herself an adventurer, but the truth of the matter was that she was just a mousey scholar as the buccaneers seemed to deem her, not giving her much more than a glance as they went about their business. Caelan's impression, however, was a completely different matter.
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This thread has been declared inactive, and is being submitted for judgement as it is longer than 10 posts. As it is incomplete, any rewards our judging moderator sees fit to grace us with will likely be only 50% of what a finished thread would earn or less, per judge's discretion.
Spoils Request
For effort, I request that Luned receive an additional 10% EXP
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Basic judgment requested.
Septermber Guided Quest: A Treasure Trove
Participants:
Luned
Caelan Bolish
Anke/Varg
Itera
Score: C
Not too much to say here as this thread didn’t finish. Here are some things to work on:
1. Check spelling and grammar. Rereading your posts before submission can help catch errors that spell check did not.
2. Keep verb tenses constant. If you’re saying “he did this, she did that” don’t make the next line “he writes, she sleeps.”
3. Generally, to achieve a better flow in your story you should strive to continue your post from the end of the previous one. If you have to backtrack to describe your actions, make sure that your post continues past where the previous one ended to keep the story moving.
Luned receives 70 exp and 10 gp.
Caelan Bolish receives 40 exp and 5 gp.
Anke/Varg receives 20 exp and 5 gp.
Itera receives 20 exp and 5 gp.
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