Battle at your leisure folks. This thread must be completed by January 9th, 2014 at 12:00 AM EST. If you finish early, please submit it for judging per usual.
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Battle at your leisure folks. This thread must be completed by January 9th, 2014 at 12:00 AM EST. If you finish early, please submit it for judging per usual.
Out of Character:
The port city of Scara Brae, although not as busy as the streets of Corone, was full of life this afternoon. People of all ages, colors, and race blended together into a river of flesh and bone. Sprinkled along the banks of this roaring flow stood vendor stands filled with trinkets, food, and weapons. The moving crowd ebbed and flowed around the congregations formed around each merchant. As water would twist and wind about the rocks and banks, so did the city’s inhabitants. Overlooking this river of lives was one dark figure tucked away against the shadow of an adjacent two story building. His body was a black as the shadows themselves, devoid of light and form. This man was here on the hunt and he was not alone. Green eyes like a hawk remained fixed on one specific individual whilst an eerie grin formed in the darkness.
“Time to see some blood...”
Down below pushed another fellow, a young boy in his mid teens. This child was dirty, clad in beggar’s rags, and making quite the stir.
“Ey! You there, Sir!” shouted the lad, pushing and squeezing his way through the crowd. “I said stop! Ya dropped yer coin purse!”
The mention of a coin purse seemed to draw attention. The movement of the people slowed and became less fluid. Some stopped to stare and satisfy their curiosity.
“Ey! Blondie! Slow down y’twit!”
As the boy grew more specific, several others halted in their tracks, or gave him more leeway as he charged through the bodies. The boy blew past all the mindless lemmings towards just one man. This one such individual stood about six feet with vibrant green eyes.
“Yes you!” the boy pointed, as he stopped to catch his breath in front of the tall blonde male.
The athletic youth, slightly older than his pursuer, held a confused expression whilst he pointed a single finger casually to his own chest. Bystanders gave the two several feet of breathing room to gawk at the commotion.
“You,” began the boy through labored breath, “forgot your bag of coin… Zack.”
The boy was still bent over, extending his arm to the stranger. Clutched in those dirty little hands was a crude linen pouch with the letters, “MuNny” poorly scribbled in soot.
“That’s not my—“.
“I know…” interrupted the boy as he met his target’s eyes with defiance.
In that moment hissed three black objects from above towards their bewildered target. One of which missed and immediately buried itself in the support post of a nearby shop – a deadly steel throwing needle. Fresh blood spattered to the ground. The silence that was created just moments ago was shattered with a horrified shrill. The gathered crowd burst into a roar of panic, bodies darting and scrambling in all directions. Dust from the earth beneath the trampling feet kicked up into the air and caused a haze. Some stood their ground in an attempt to witness the cause of the panic. The boy with the bag melded into the madness and vanished from sight. Instead, stood a much older man with pale skin, platinum grey hair, and a distinct crimson scarf.
“Zack Blaze,” shouted Lye from above the music of chaos. “Looks like your name is on my ‘To Do’ list. That means it’s time to see what your insides look like…”
The assassin fetched his twin titanium punching daggers from his sides and bolted forward in assault. His body spun, twisted, and weaved through the scramble. As the gap closed, his movements became tight and rigid. A blade lunged forward for Zack’s chest, while the other lashed diagonally skyward to bring this confrontation to a quick close.
“That son of a—“ Zack didn’t even have the chance to finish his sentence before his opponent started towards him. Once the would-be assassin was on the move, so was Zack, and he dived towards the east and directly into the crowd of people who had remained behind. Another cloud of dust formed up around the street fighter as he landed to the ground with a loud thud. The Scara Brae people found themselves in shock as the warrior stood up, beating the dust off of his leather jacket.
Who is this psycho? Whoever he is, I think I’d prefer to make sure my insides don’t turn into outsides. He turned to his opponent, his feet bouncing back and forth like a boxer ready to deliver several heart pounding blows. The audience was still, for the most part, in a panic, but the ones that had chosen to remain seemed to know that they were in for a good show. There were fans and detractors for sides already, cheering and jeering as they waited anxiously for the next move.
“It’s kind of rude to attack a guy without introducing yourself first,” Zack said, a smile cracking underneath his words, “but you’ve done some research, so you know you’re coming after the Underwood Underdog, the Elemental Phenom, the Fearless Face Puncher, Zack Blaze!”
His boasting drove his fans into a frenzy, shouting as if Zack had already won the fight. His eyes darted around, trying to find the teen that had almost gotten him killed. The kid was nowhere in sight, but Zack couldn’t help but notice much smaller children taking advantage of the situation, filling their pockets with the goods from the abandoned food stands. Zack rolled his shoulders, his fists rising up to his face. The very least he could do was buy the little hoodlums time to escape with their bounty, even if that meant taking a few hits from this merc with a mouth.
“Makai, handle my Raiaeran,” Zack smirked, his insult essentially meaning that the assassin was not even worth the youth’s time to fight himself. Once the command was issued a giant ogre appeared from practically out of nowhere in front of Zack. His darkened, almost charcoal skin was only covered by a crude piece of animal hide draping around his crotch. He had salt and pepper hair that blew in the nice Scara Brae wind. He bared his sharpened pearly white fangs to Zack’s opponent and reacted instantly.
The ogre roared, committing some more members of Zack’s audience to the widespread panic. He raised one of his club-like fists, sending it down towards where the failed killer had last been during Zack’s self-promotion. Regardless of the outcome of the attack, Zack Blaze knew two things; he was not going to die here, and the children of the Scourge were going to eat well tonight.
His blades sang in empty air, and needles seemed to miss their mark. The blonde youth clumsily evaded an instant death with instinctive speed. Lye's body slid to a stop, locking his focus on the target. His blades stood mere inches from several bystanders petrified by fear. They were nearly collateral damage. Lye smiled at the thought.
Zack spent this time to recover, opening his mouth to spew words of arrogance. The feeble minds of the common street folk foolish enough to stay witness roared in applause to the boy's nonsense. The leather clad warrior righted himself to face the source of the commotion. Although the perfect time to land a blow, he let the youth savor his final words. Lips hidden by crimson curled into a smirk.
"What makes you think I want my name known?" he smugly replied to the taunt and overzealous list of nicknames. "It won't do you much good when your corpse is cold."
The majority of the civilians who were wise enough to flee could be heard as screaming whispers in the distance. A mild circle of onlookers remained to get their fill of violence and gore. The assassin caught glimpse of the occasional child peeking from behind barrel or post. Fools, all of them. The remnants were further stirred at the concussive force of a bestial roar. Currently face to face, stood a large, black creature breathing a rather pungent mixture from its lungs into the wisps of Lye's silvery hair.
"Cute," the assassin taunted during the outburst with minimal inflection.
Fractions of a second were left to react when one barrel of a fist came sundering down upon him. The assassin felt the sea breeze kiss his skin when he sidestepped the horizontal blow with cat-like grace. Nearly in one fluid motion, a blade was sheathed and two more steel needles shot toward the ogre's eyes to take advantage of the post-blow pause. His outstretched arm fluidly tucked to his side and coiled his body into a sliding dash beneath the beast's legs. A lone katar remained high enough as to nick the magical wonders that existed beneath its tattered loin cloth while a speeding boot launched a steel axe heel toward the blond youth. To ensure an exit strategy, a gloved hand gripped the loose soil of the market streets, waiting to propel his body in a new direction.
It was time to feed this boy his pretty, white teeth.
“Aren’t I though?” Zack retorted, his hand grabbing the hilt of his Lornius Corporate Championship reward. The youth unsheathed The Sword and brought it to meet the heel of Lye’s boot. A slight smirk painted its way across Zack’s features, his assistant hitting the ground with a whimper of pain and kicking up a large dust cloud. The street fighter knew that once the cloud had dispersed that Makai would be gone as well. The quick attack by Zack’s personal bodyguard would probably be chalked up to nothing more than an illusion casted by the midday sun.
He held his blade against his foes while the town folk hacked and coughed from the dirt cloud that enveloped them. “An assassin who doesn’t want to be known, who attacks his targets in plain sight. Oh I think I know exactly who you are sir. My information network is just as expansive and mysterious as yours, Mister Ulroke.”
Zack threw his foes blade off of his own, sheathing the weapon and kneeling to the ground. He pulled his left arm back behind him and his right hand into his pocket, both fists ready to make their move like a tiger ready to pounce. Flames hungrily engulfed the boy’s hand as he started to send an uppercut straight towards the chin of Lye. A shark fin-like blaze of fire cut through the ground, kicking up more dust and dirt clots and it tried to burn Zack’s foe to cinders.
As soon as the flame was launched, Zack ‘blipped’ out of existence. His form reappeared to the east of his opponent still crouched upon the ground. His fist continued its trajectory towards the face of the Crimson Assassin, a quick maneuver made to pressure the killer into one attack or the other.
Even shades of crimson came with a tinge of misery.
The sound of steel meeting steel rang as a tragic melody to a failed blow. The assassin pulled his leg back with a scrap of metal on metal. He forced the momentum to spin about while arms tensed and propelled him upright with katar to the ready. The flash of smoke and dust washed over his features from behind, hindering his ability to monitor the blonde's movement to a crouched position. The roar of bystanders excited by the flashy take-down of the large black beast drowned out his ability to hear. It was too late when his senses and stance were ready for a follow up blow.
He barely made out his attacker sputtering off his name before a bright light and searing heat produced itself near Lye's feet. The time given to evade was minimal, allowing but for two arms to raise perpendicular to the ground over his chest. He attempted to bound back, but the flames licked at his exposed flesh. Sizzles, pops, and screams sang from the cooking skin lighting a fire deep within the back of the killer's mind. Although very familiar with pain itself, burnt nerve endings were in a league of their very own.
While his mind wrapped around the urgency to overcome the pain, another bout of excruciation rang from his face. Disoriented, his legs buckled beneath him and his frame was knocked backwards into the cheering commoners. Legs, bodies, arms, and hands scrambled over Lye's tumbling torso as they were forced to collapse upon him from impact. Head ringing, arms tingling, and body wrought with strain from the tumble, he managed to root himself to a four legged orientation. The soft patter of thick fluid to the poorly kept streets of the marketplace signified his nose was in pieces. The boy packed a punch fitting of the ogre he commanded.
The injured and startled common folk scampered to their feet and gave the two a much wider birth. The assassin too, lifted himself vertical. He defiantly looked upon his opponent with dirty grey wisps partially obstructing his vision. He let out a soft chuckle, then ran his tongue over the copper flavor of his teeth. Had it not been for his genetic disposition of hardened bone, he would have certainly lost a tooth or two.
"Not bad," he jeered, brushing the dust from his vest through the searing pain, "I would have used the sword though."
Lye brought a gloved hand, recently disarmed in the tumble, to his nose and let sound an audible crack to set it back in place. The muscles on his face contracted slightly to adjust not only to the numbness washing over his features, but the odd sensation of loose cartilage. A minute river of red continued to flow from his nostrils.
"I should take your comical appearance more seriously."
Lye ran his fingers across the remaining needles housed at his sides. Their glossy black shimmer became devoid of light and lifted themselves from their homes to float mysteriously above his head. The scorched leather gloves stopped at the coiled damascus chain fixed to his hip. In one hand he held the long, curved blade of a sickle, and in the other hand, the jagged edge of a dirk. Both of these were held together with a jingling chain longer than he was tall. Lye took a wide stance, ready for Zack's next move. His battered figure still possessed an overwhelming aura of menace and his eyes focused intently on the blonde yet opened his peripherals for movement.
The crowd hushed, waiting on baited breath for the next advance. Lye would not be the one to cater to their desire this moment. Instead, his needles would seek out any advance Zack made. His chained weapons would meet his next assault, and his blood would be next to spill.
"Let's see another trick pretty boy..."
The flames had sated their hunger for Lye’s flesh just as Zack’s fist sated its hunger for the assassin’s face. The would-be killer literally rolled with the punch and quickly took a defensive stance with a weapon befitting of his position. What was left of the thinning out crowd was spreading their ‘oohs’ and ‘ahhs’ at Lye’s whole apathy routine. While the people seemed quite impressed with how the fight was turning out, Zack found it to be grating on his nerves.
He stood there for a moment as Lye called him a ‘pretty boy’. The youth’s response was simply a nonchalant shrug as if Lye had sung the tones of truth for all to hear. He stood there for a moment while his eyes grazed the area for the little scallywags that had been pilfering the people’s hard earned goods. He could make out some smaller forms ducking into the various alleyways, oranges and other goodies spilling out of their shirts.
That’s my good deed for the day.
Zack’s eyes focused back on Lye, his position still the same as it had been a few seconds ago. He could have gone at it with the contract killer for several more blows. He could have shot more flames at the man and watched as he burned to a crisp while trying to be clever. He could have run at the man and surely have fallen victim to whatever ploy his fellow tactician was plotting. There were so many options as to where Zack could take this fight.
“Well, thanks for the fun, Lyes-with-men. It’s been a slice.” Zack said, taking two fingers and saluting off the man. He turned his back to the assassin, slowly weaving his way through the dumbfounded people. While only moments ago he had been filled with taunts and verbal jabs towards his opponent, Zack Blaze now made his way through the fancy clothed townsfolk with polite ‘Pardon Me’s and ‘Excuse me’s. One of his hands cackled with electric energy, the other preparing another vicious fire.
If the fool’s dumb enough to follow me, the street fighter thought, he’s going to see that ‘Blaze’ isn’t just a really cool last name….
"Lies with...?"
The boy vanished as quickly as he delivered his verbal assault. The assassin bared teeth that were hidden by vlince. The searing pain of charred nerve endings began to pale in comparison to the boiling hatred this juvenile delinquent stirred in him. The occasional chuckle of bystanders to the insult only added tinder to the blaze. He teetered on the desire to unleash his darker arts on the jeering civilians and really stir a panic, but his responsibilities to The Order kept it in check.
His boots kicked into action and cast dust to those standing behind him. In one advancing group, his body, the floating spiked, and chanting chain carried with haste through the sacks of meat littering his path. An alternate route caught his eye and with the aide of a barrel, stacked crate, and a parked carriage, he vaulted to the rooftops of the city shops. The hollow crackle of impacted tiles rang with each step as he closed the gap between him and his overconfident target. Those that were not privy to the conflict that had taken place in the distance were now turning their attention to the weaving blonde and rooftop killer. This job was becoming uncomfortably high profile.
This pursuit carried them to the edge of the city shops and the edge of his ceramic road. Either the chase ended at this small river dividing the commercial streets from the agricultural farmlands, or it would carry on foot to other locations. Luckily, the number of eyes here was minimal, and thus Lye acted.
He ran until the tip of his boot sheered off the last shingle on the edge of the building and he cascaded into the air. Chain chimed his location to a disadvantage, but he gambled on the noise offering a moment of distraction. Blackened steel rain quickly ensued to compensate his lack of stealth, and all five needles bolted towards the youth. Their trajectories compensated for movement during acceleration, making them much more effective than a linear attack. As his body fell to echo his assault, both sickle and dagger moved to allow the chain to fall as a loop with the intent to snare the boy by the neck while his soles kissed the earth.
In a flare of hatred, his arms also began to pulsate.
Zack smiled as he turned his head to look behind him. As he had figured, the common folk had done a decent job of keeping the assassin busy enough so that the boy could escape through the masses. He had begun to hum play with an invisible yo-yo to pass the time through his stroll when he felt a sharp pain in his shoulder. The boy winced, looking to his right and catching just the faintest glimmer of sun shimmering off of a barely visible needle.
He reached to pull the thing out when he felt another stinging sensation, this time in his right hand. He looked to the back of the appendage, noticing the thick red trail of blood oozing onto his arm. Another sharp sensation came into the boy’s right thigh, bringing the street fighter down to a knee. He growled and looked above him. Given the trajectory and position each needle was in upon impact, he knew he was being assaulted from the air. It wasn’t until the fourth needle hit him square in the crevice of his left arm did Zack see Lye’s form gliding downwards, strange weapon at the ready.
Zack could see the chain, hanging down like a noose towards him and quickly raised his right hand to the front of his neck. His left arm had felt deadened from the last needle, so he would have to make do with only his bleeding hand. As the chain fell down, Zack surged electricity through his palm, gripping the links of the weapon and hopefully sending a more powerful surge towards his would-be killer. The boy looked around as he pushed the chain from his neck, hoping to find another decent getaway spot.
What he found, was open ocean and the end of the markets.
“Fuck…” Zack uttered, his left arm flopping at his side as he ran from Lye. He knew that in his current state he was no match for the assassin, with streams of crimson pouring out each needle entry point. He quickly proceeded to remove three of the four needles, allowing the one in his shoulder to remain. He knew if he lived through this, he would want some sort of trophy from this. Keeping one of Lye’s ‘weapons’ would show that the youth had not only survived the murderer’s attacks, but one-upped him in the end.
He quickly found himself out of breath, panting as he stumbled towards the last house on the street. Its purple door slowly opened up before the boy, causing him to bite his lower lip. If Lye caught Zack with an innocent person, he would no doubt use the bystander to get Blaze to do his bidding. Zack growled, lunging towards the door, when a familiar lithe hand reached out, grabbing his good shoulder. Another feminine hand joined the first in grabbing Zack, and finally a more masculine hand grabbed the boy’s jacket and pulled him into the door. The entryway closed with an echoing thud through the streets as Zack fell on the floor before his friends.
He looked up to find his partner in the Lornius Corporate Championship, Agne standing there with a smile. Alongside her was Madison Freebird, looking away as if she hadn’t helped the boy at all. Between the two girls stood the tall, intimidating form of Robert Uccisore, Vice President of Misery Business. Zack laid there for a moment, a pool of blood forming underneath his body as he wondered whether or not he was hallucinating.
“You did well, Zack,” Robert spoke first, lowering his sunglasses to reveal his golden brown eyes, “because of you, Misery Business has obtained valuable data in the way Lichensith fights. I’m sorry we couldn’t tell you ahead of time about the price on your head, but we figured you wouldn’t take too kindly to it.” He offered a hand to the boy, who cautiously took it.
“I was…. Bait?” Zack asked, the look on his face as dumbfounded as a dwarf who just found out he had fathered an elf.
“Pretty good at it too,” Madison spoke up, her eyes still examining the incredibly pink room Agne had set up for them, “Ags made sure to keep tabs on you, but you didn’t get close enough to a door to let us pull you in until now. That guy won’t be following any time soon…”
Zack slowly nodded, a smile on his face as he pulled the last needle out of his body, his vision fading as his body gave out. Game, set, and match, Lies-With-Men…
Burning in his legs from cascading atop the roofs paid out in full when one by one, the needles met their mark. Sick thuds and wet slurps benched the insertion and removal of the projectiles. The assassin's arms began to prickle, not from the burnt flesh but from excitement. As he descended upon his prey like an eagle to a mouse, overconfidence consumed him. The slack of the chain drew taught, and the tingling grew exponentially. The assassin was nearly to the pinnacle of madness. The sensation grew from pleasure to pain the moment his feet touched the ground. The moist harbor air popped at the caliber of a gunshot.
"Fuck..."
Once again, Lye was airborne. A trail of smoke and vile stench of cooked skin emanated from singed palmed. The highly conductive damascus was left behind to be cast aside by the youth. Meters away from the jingling chain weapon, Lye found himself mangled into the side of a wooden shack. Concerned civilian customers and a rather shocked vendor huddled to the sizzling, convulsing mess that once was a trained killer. One such innocent reached for the charred skin of what seemed to be a hand.
"Are you al--" the woman jerked her hand back with a shrill, the others jumping or stepping back. From the hand extended a rather grotesque prong of bone.
"Don't f-fucking t-touch me..." hissed the infuriated warrior.
The twitching and writhing died down to a minimum. Moist gurgles, slurps, and crackles emanated from his twisted corpse as bones re-located and mended from the impact. As if a puppet lifted by the strings of a master, his body rose with ghastly elegance. Those that could not stomach the sight and sounds had already fled. Only the few that remained were frozen in terror.
"Zack.."
He fully righted himself but lurched forward, shoulders, head, and arms hanging.
"I'm not done with you yet..."
The crimson vlince of his scarf was disheveled from his face, revealing the twisted expression of psychotic masochism stretched into a smile. Through strands of silver hair, mottled with blood and char, a pair of green orbs sought out the source of his body's agony.
Nothing.
The assassin could not help but laugh. Pain, anger, and blood lust mixed into a cackle of insanity. His searing torso permitted him to throw his head back to a bellowing howl.
Again, silence.
"S-Sir... are you--"
Scarlet splashed in liters to the sandy street. Innocent hands hurriedly scrambled to scoop the fluid back into an opened neck. Color flushed from skin. First, they fell to their knees. Then, with a wobble, they fell to their back. Hallowed eyes remained open to gaze into the pair of a killer's that stole the future from them.
Lye's chest heaved, composure flooding into his veins with the taste of victim's blood misted upon his face. He looked down to the corpse and saw a child, no more than 10 years of age. He took note of some vibrant, red apples scattered from her pocket. His memory flashed to one of the stands from the beginning of his engagement with the blonde street fighter, and he realized that he had seen this child before.
"Damn it!" Lye swore, a ruckus of military shouts and clacking plate mail began to near.
Tarnished, black combat boots kicked up another cloud of dust. Though less graceful than a few minutes ago, the assassin made haste to the nearest group of shadows. He was then consumed in darkness, and lost from sight. In the opening remained a frail, young body. Her halo of crimson grew and kissed the ripened flesh of a stolen apple.
"I will be meeting you again Zack Blaze..."
Thread Title: League A (Interdivision): Zack Blaze v. Lye
Judgment Type: Full Rubric
Participants: Zack Blaze and Lye
Plot: 18 --- 17
- Story- 6/10---6/10
- Setting- 5/10---6/10
You both did a pretty good job at keeping the setting painted the entire thread. There were points were I couldnt quite see the environment they were fighting in but it was by no means a bad setting. I felt Lye did a better job at the beginning with his rather colorful setup and thus gave him the edge here.
- Pacing- 7/10---5/10
Lye, there was a few points that made me stop and re-read your posts. I would recommend proofreading your work one last time before submitting, it should help with your errors.
Zack, pretty solid pacing, I did not feel like the pacing slowed down when it wasn't meant to, or speed up when it was suppose to slow.
Character: 16 --- 19
- Communication- 6/10---6/10
the dialogue that was there suited both characters just fine. However, there could have been much more depth, adding a bigger reason to their future conflicts besides “the one that got away”.
- Action-5/10---7/10
Lye, as much as I love Lye as a character, there was a few points in time where I had to re-read your descriptions on your attacks. Confusing me and causing me to go look up some additional information. Overall you did a pretty good job but factor in the confusion and extra time it caused me to take away from the thread I had to drop your score.
Zack, solidly done, again, ever action felt like it was coming from someone who had done many street fights. Using the crowd, playing on the opponents emotions everything felt right for Zack. Where it did not add any new depth to the character I will have to sit you down at just a solid score.
- Persona- 5/10---6/10
Zack, you conveyed Zack fairly well. There was points more towards the end I felt confused when reading your posts. What was zack suppose to feel when he realized he was being assailed from above? How did he feel when he saw the plummeting silhouette of a man? With a chain ready to wrap around his neck? The ending felt rushed and lacked emotion.
Lye, you did a better job at keeping emotion throughout the whole thread. However your ending is directly opposite of your beginning. In the beginning Lye was behind an apathy shield and even though he had tinges of emotion in there it felt right. Near the end the apathy shield is gone and he more so seethes in rage and is rather visual with his emotions. As much as it does add to the “He just got his ass kicked” I feel it subtracted from the overall character. If you feel like you need more indepth knowledge of those feel free to pm me.
Prose: 19 --- 15
- Mechanics- 7/10---5/10
Zack, there was a few instances of commas being misplaced or missing, but overall it wasn't too bad, there was a few instances of wrong words used, such as 'and' instead of 'as'. Overall these were few in number and the ones I did catch on a first read were in the earlier posts. Proofreading the whole thread one last time would of really helped with this.
Lye, you had one main issue throughout the thread. You used non-standard english, you were not wrong but it caused me to re-read and ask questions quite a few times. Thus a few of your other sections suffered from it. As an example!besides the lack of comma before 'whilst' this sentence suffered from the non-standard english. 'like a hawk' would of served much better if it was placed after 'remained fixed' thus it would readQuote:
Green eyes like a hawk remained fixed on one specific individual whilst an eerie grin formed in the darkness.
there was a few other instances in the thread but that was the first one I saw. The other issues were misplaced or missing commas and at least a run on sentence or two.Quote:
”Green eyes remained fixed, like a hawk, on one specific individual”
- Clarity- 6/10---5/10
Zack, there were a few occasions where I had to re-read your posts, as I stated before, and thus it hurt your clarity score, if you take my previous recommendations this score would improve.
Lye, the non-standard English issue hurt your clarity score here as well. However, that mixed with run ons and missing commas made some of your sentences confusing and caused me to re read. Overall you weren’t awful with your clarity but you could of definitely improved.
- Technique- 6/10---5/10
You both used metaphor's and personification throughout the thread. Lye, you used it in such a way that was mildly confusing and it fell into non-standard English. Based on the confusion factor and non-standard English you were slightly lower. Zack, you used it, albeit sparsely, to add just enough to the scenes where it really benefited and thus I gave you the higher score.
Wildcard: 5 --- 5
This fight could of easily been one of the better ones on althanas. In the end it felt rushed and didnt live up to the expectation from either of these characters. I will not be swaying it either way here. I did enjoy reading the thread, the exchanges were quite humorous and over all reflected better on the characters as a whole. However, Because the thread fell short and was rushed I am only awarding a 5 here to each of you.
Final Score: 58---56
Zack Blaze Wins!:
- 1,834 EXP!
- 65 GP!
Congratulations!
Lye Receives:
- 525EXP!
- 30 GP!
EXP & GP Added.