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Breaker
12-01-2017, 10:39 AM
Name of Completed Thread: A Twisted Tower (http://www.althanas.com/world/showthread.php?567-A-Twisted-Tower-Solo/)
Name of Author: Nevin
Type of Thread: Quest
Thread Length: 24 Posts
Feedback Rewards: (Post Length of Thread/10) * ((EXP Needed to Level)*0.05) EXP
Date Closed: January 1st 2018

Critique Guidelines:

1.) Standard rules for etiquette apply. No spamming or off-topic posts, no personal attacks or trolling. Focus on critiquing the thread, not the writer. Use constructive criticism and try to speak in terms of "strengths" and "weaknesses". For example: "Your story was strong, but the action seemed a little weak. Try using more adverbs to describe actions or use a thesaurus to spice up your word choice."

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4.) In order to receive EXP & GP for your feedback(see Workshop Guide), a critique must be helpful, elaborate, and considerate. It is suggested that the review be at least 3 paragraphs and focus on strengths, weaknesses, and overall content. You may use the Althanas Rubric as a guide.

5.)Those that leave an exceptionally detailed review with plenty of constructive advice may be eligible for double rewards. This will be up to the posting judge's discretion. The authors of the thread may request the additional reward be given if they found a review to be particularly helpful. The request must still be approved.

jdd2035
12-07-2017, 10:25 PM
Well hey there Nevin! You already know that you are a good writer I have told you this. By the way if you want criticism well I'm not your guy.

What I like about Nevin is that he's less about combat, and more about adventure, and discovery. As proven by J.R.R Tolkien an adventure does not require warriors, they help but it really takes an inquisitive mind willing to say "what is that?" Nevin says that a lot, you're not afraid to have Nevin get lost, loose him in his train of thought, and put him into danger. This was established right from the first few paragraphs. Further, you are nothing but single minded in your character, hardly a post goes by where you don't mention something that is involved with alchemy. He ~is~ an alchemist, he is ~the~ alchemist yes, Nevin is a blood mage, but he is very good at alchemy. Ever see that episode of Star Trek Deep Space 9 where Garek after his shop blows up, his dad gets captured by the Jem Ha'dar, and he has nothing, and at the end of the Episode he says "Do you know what the sad part is, Odo? I'm a very good tailor" I get that kind of vibe from Nevin. He really wants to be a blood mage, but is put into a position where he has to pretend to be a alchemist, and so he's be came the very best alchemist he can be. If I am wrong than sorry but that is how I perceive your character in most of your threads.

Breaker
01-06-2018, 09:07 AM
This workshop is now closed. Thanks to JDD for his input. Rewards to be added shortly.

Breaker
01-06-2018, 09:59 AM
jdd2035 receives 480 EXP, 24 GP and 1 AP.

All rewards added. Workshop archived.