Incorrect Althanas Quotes

[Flamebird]

Basically, you take a quote from a show, movie, comic, meme, etc. and apply it to Althanas' cast. It's highly suggested that you add the source. Preferably in character? Have fun!

Amari: Can I get some advice?
Maddy: I'm not great at advice.
Maddy: Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?
[Source: Friends]

Fenn: Alchemist, it's really muggy outside today.
Nevin: Fenn, if you put all my mugs on my front porch, I'm kicking you out again!
Fenn: [Sips coffee from bowl]
[Source: Twitter]

Felicity: You can't spend the rest of your life alone, dressed in black, listening to angry music, and staying up all night.
Ashla: Yes, I can.
[Source: Lego Batman Movie]

Ashla: You sound childish.
Felicity: You sound adultish.
[Source: VeggieTales in the House]

Amari: Why must every eleven minutes of my life be filled with misery?!?
[Source: Spongebob Squarepants]

Nevin: GOODBYE, EVERYONE! I'LL REMEMBER YOU ALL IN THERAPY!!!
[Source: Spongebob Squarepants]

Maddy: The real treasure was the memories we made.
Lye: You almost killed me.
Maddy: That was my fondest memory.
[Source: Unknown :(]

Fenn, over a long distance communications device: It's Fenn.
Amari: What did he do this time?
Fenn: No, it's Fenn. It's actually me.
Amari: What did you do this time?
[Source: Scott Pilgrim vs. the World.]

Seth: What makes you think I'm upset?
Lye: The giant hole you carved into the table.
[Source: B99.]

Philomel, running into the room: Did someone say beauty? Because here I am!
[Source: The Suite Life on Deck.]

Nevin: You once broke a rib trying to fight one of those inflatable flobby guys at a car dealership.
Fenn: I won.
[Source: Parks and Rec.]

Skie: So I have made the decision to trust you.
Seth, internally: A horrible decision, really.
[Source: Tangled.]

Maddy: if we’re gonna make it out alive, we’re gonna need an illogical solution. A truly dumb idea.
Everyone: [Looks at Fenn]
[Source: Young Justice.]

Felicity: Has anyone seen Ashla?
Ashla, lying face-down on the floor: Present.
[Source: B99.]

Person: I sort of did something and I need some advice, but I don't want a lot of judgement and criticism.
Artemis: And you came to me?
[Source: Modern Family.]

Ashla: I'm the worst person in the world! I'm never good enough! I hate myself!
Also Ashla: I'm the greatest person in the world! I rock! Way to go, me!
[Source: Tumblr.]

Amari: [Hugs Lye]
Lye: What are you doing? What is this?
Amari: Affection.
Lye: Disgusting.
Lye:
Lye: Do it again.
[Source: Tumblr.]

[Ashla]

Felicity: Once you’ve hit rock bottom, the only way to go is up!
Ashla: You underestimate me, I have brought my pickaxe and I am ready to dig.
[Source: ???]

Nevin: I know what's going on in your head.
Felicity: Oh, well then, welcome to the terror dome.
[Source: Parks and Rec.]

Fenn: If we’re ever in a situation where I’m the “voice of reason”, then we are in a really bad situation.
[Source: Tumblr.]

Maddy, whispering: I don't like you.
Lye, whispering: I'll get over it.
[Source: Modern Family.]

Ashla: I hate myself but I still think I'm better than everybody else.
[Source: Tumblr.]

Philomel: You're alive!
Shin: Philosophically arguable, but physically... yes, I am.
[Source: Sense8.]

Fenn: I need an adult.
Fenn: Wait, I am an adult.
Fenn: I NEED A BETTER ADULT!
[Source: Tumblr.]

Elthas: Alerar! Not exactly the friendliest place in town. It’s more of a “shoot first, then shoot again, then pull the trigger a few more times before asking questions” kinda place. And I’m not even sure they bother with the “asking questions” part anymore.
[Source: Longest Journey.]

[Venex Apara]

Ven: The greatest gift you ever give is your honest self.
~Mr. Rogers

Archie: STOP! NOW WE ARE AT ZERO TOLERANCE NOW! DO YOU HEAR ME?! ZERO TOLERANCE! You boy have got to learn to behave! From now on--

Ven: Who wants more mac and cheese?

Archie: THAT IS IT! SIT DOWN! JUST BECAUSE YOUR MOTHER ISN'T HERE DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN MISBEHAVE! Now, when I say zero tolerance, I mean zero tolerance! Tolerance to the zero degree! I'm talking zip, nothing, zilch! IN TERMS OF TOLERANCE!
~Malcolm In The Middle

[Flamebird]

Lye: *Has feelings*
Lye: Pathetic. Disgusting. Won't let it happen again.
[Source: Jarring.]

Amari: Lye, what's a metaphor?
Lye: My life is a train wreck.
Amari: I know, Lye, but what's a metaphor?
[Source: Twitter.]

Ashla: Now, Felicity. What do we say if someone asks you out?
Felicity: BEGONE THOT!!!
Ashla, tearing up: I'm so proud of you...
[Source: Tumblr.]

Maddy: If you could change your name what would you change it to?
Amari: Forty exclamation points in a row and pronounced like a person screaming.
[Source: Tumblr.]

Eteri: Why am I always so tired?
Nevin: Not enough sleep, poor diet, dehydration, not enough exercise...
Eteri: If only there was something I could do about it.
Nevin: Go to bed earlier, eat healthier, go for a walk...
Eteri: But there isn't.
Nevin: [Screaming internally]
[Source: The Awkward Yeti.]

Lye [Imitating Ashla] "I can power a small city with my whining."
Ashla: I probably could...
[Source: Homestar Runner.]

"You will forever have a place within the organ that pumps my blood." - Lye, to Amari.
[Source: Legend of Korra.]

Nevin: I just got a new notebook, what should I put it in?
Fenn: Put spaghetti in it.
Nevin: I'm taking suggestions from anyone else.
Eteri: Put spaghetti in it.
Nevin: I'm taking suggestions from anyone except you two.
Ezra: Put spaghetti in it.
Nevin: I'm no longer taking suggestions.
[Source: Tumblr.]

[Shinsou Vaan Osiris]

Breaker: "I don't care if he's Muhammed "I'm hard" Bruce Lee, you can't change fighters" [Snatch]

Shinsou: "He's leaking intelligence? Tell you what, if you think he's leaking now wait until I fucking get hold of him! HE'LL LOOK LIKE MEL GIBSON'S JESUS!" [The Thick of It]

[Flamebird]

Fenn: *Walks into Nevin's shop* Oh hey honey candy BLARGH I HAVE THE DYING!
[Source: Nevin. Just Nevin. I had to post this.]

Felicity: *Pouring apple juice into shot glass* SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS-
[Source: Tumblr]

Lye: Look, Madison. I want to apologize for everything I said. For what it’s worth, I really like having you around.
Maddy: No, you don’t.
Lye: I know. I have dreams where I staple your fingers to your face.
[Source: Scrubs]

Aur: A peaceful walk in the woods really relaxes me. The fact that I’m dragging a body should be irrelevant.
[Source: ???]

*Eiskalt and Akashima blow up*
Lye: MADISON, WHAT DID YOU DO!?!?
Maddy: My best.
[Source: ???]

Felicity: Ashla, what are you doing in these creepy woods? Did you mess up Daisuke's magic potion too?
Ashla: Not unless you call my life a magic potion...
Felicity: Cool, cool, depressing, cool...
[Source: Homestar Runner]

[Hydra]

Sylvester: Once you eliminate the impossible... Check for magic.

[Flamebird]

Nevin: [Carries Fenn outside his shop, over his head with his threads]
Nevin: [Throws Fenn out]
Fenn: MY LEG!!
[Source: Spongebob]

Avin's Master: You are my servent's brother's sister!
Avin: What does that mean?"
Avin's Master: Absolutely nothing. Prepare to die.
[Source: ???]

Ezra: Nevin, why are there books in the fridge?
Nevin: [Glances at the refrigerator] Um... because it's, uh, cool to read?
Ezra:
Eteri:
Fenn:
Nevin:
Everyone: DID YOU JUST-
[Source: Tumblr.]

Fenn: There is a small chance that I definitely started the fire.
[Source: Modern Family.]

Maddy: [About Amari] She said a lot of really nice things about me. It was really uncalled for.
[Source: Texts From Last Night.]

Lye: You don't get anything except humiliation and ridicule.
Ashla: I already have that, what else you got?
[Source: Red vs Blue.]

Sei Orlouge: On this day, the storm metaphors gather. But we will fight the storm with courage in our hearts. That is where courage is right? I'm pretty sure it is. Anyway, we will stand firm and not give our enemy an inch. At least we won't so long as it gives us no advantage. Tactically speaking it's impossible not to give our enemies a little bit of ground I suppose. Still, we will not yield without a fight. We will not fade into the dawn! Let us stand united because unity is always one generic feel good thing anyone can get behind without a lot of critical thought. I mean unity isn't always a good thing in and of itself. Sometimes a bit of discord can shake up a stagnant system. Um. Where was I again? Oh yes. Today we stand as one against the forces of darkness who really need to think of re-branding because forces of darkness is so 80's. Come to think of it, the forces of light could also go for a name change. Maybe like the Radiant Entente or the Illumination Coalition? Regardless, we will win this day! Our courage will not fail so long as we remember our cause is righteous or at least in comparison to how terrible our enemy is. Its a pretty low bar to clear really. So don't mess it up I guess? Oh and charge!
[Source: Terrible Writing Advice.]

Nevin: Are you hungry?
Felicity: No, thank you.
Nevin: [Leans in] This is not an option.
[Source: Tumblr.]

Fenn: Nevin, if my stuffed bear is cold, can I put him in the toaster oven?
Nevin: No, Fenn. That would be a mistake.
Fenn: Nevin?
Nevin: Yes?
Fenn: I made a mistake.
[Source: Boy Meets World.]

[Ashla]

Nevin: How's your wound?
Felicity: My wound's great. It's getting bigger all the time.
[Nevin stares at her, unamused.]
Felicity: Just trying to lighten the mood.
[Source: Voltron.]

Nevin: We're never going to beat the evil bandits...
Ezra: It might not be so bad. We still have Eteri and Fenn.
[Camera switches to Eteri playing and saxophone and Fenn dancing to it]
Nevin: [Exasperated] WE'RE NEVER GOING TO BEAT THE EVIL BANDITS! [Falls over]
[Source: VeggieTales in the House.]

Fenn: [Knocks on door]
Nevin: [Opens door]
Fenn: [Starts to write in frost]
Nevin: Nope. Ain't happening. [Closes door]
[Source: VeggieTales in the House.]

Fenn: Aren't you mad because I wrecked your store?
Nevin: No, this happens every episode. I'm used to it.
[Source: VeggieTales in the House.]

Nevin: I need a pen and paper. To write my last will and testament.
Eteri: A-a... will?
[Everybody runs around screaming]
[Source: VeggieTales in the House.]

Everyone who's ever met Fenn: [About Fenn] AW!! HE'S SO CUTE I JUST WANNA CUDDLE HIM!!!
[Source: VeggieTales in the House.]

Felicity: [Smashing a magic imbued item against the ground]
Felicity: I SHALL KEEP DOING THIS UNTIL YOU WORK!!!
[Source: VeggieTales in the House.]

Eteri: Nevin, there you are. We have to find Fenn!
Nevin: Do we have to? He's just so... Fenn.
Eteri: Nev. Come on.
[Source: VeggieTales in the House.]

Nevin: Did you ever feel like you were too weak to do something?
Felicity: [Starry eyed] I've always dreamed of wrestling grizzly bears.
[Source: VeggieTales in the House.]

Flamebird herself: Sorrynotsorry.
[Source: Nevin.]

[Flamebird]

[Nevin is singing to Amari]
Nevin: Now listen up! Cheer up, Amari-
Nevin: -It doesn't have to be-
Nevin: -Creepy and depressing all the time!
Amari: For real?
[Source: Homestar Runner.]

Employer: What? You're quiting?
Nevin: Yes.
Employer: Is it the bad alchemist team?
Eteri, Ezra, Fenn, and Felicity: HEY!!!
[Source: VeggieTales in the City.]

Maddy: I'm surrounded by idiots...
[Source: Lion King.]

Fenn: Can you help me get this bottle off my nose?
[Source: VeggieTales in the House.]

Amari: My life is a hideous montage of humiliation and shame!
[Source: Invader Zim.]

Nevin: Always deal with your emotions straight away! Never bottle anything up!
Also Nevin: [Sobbing at 3am and shoving chocolate into his mouth] I haven’t cried in two weeks and I accidentally dropped my pen onto the floor and now I'm having a breakdown.
[Source: Unknown...]

Fenn: I'M DREAMING IN BED
Fenn: THAT I'VE GOT PANTS ON MY HEAD
Fenn: I'M SLEEPING AND DREAMING 'BOUT PANTS ON MY HEAD
[Source: VeggieTales in the House.]

[Amari races into Lye's office with captured spy]
Amari: Sir, I have captured the enemy for meat testing!
Amari: Praise me! Praise me!
[Source: Invader Zim.]

[Flamebird]

Fenn: Hey, Nevin! I'm inside your house.
Nevin: Oh. That sucks. What can I do for ya?
[Source: Homestar Runner.]

Zack Blaze: [Singing] I can't believe how awesome I am!
[Source: Homestar Runner.]

"This is you, and this is your badness level. It is unusually high for someone your size." - Philomel, to Fenn.
[Source: Lilo and Stitch.]

Fenn: I put the fires out.
Amari: You made them worse!
Fenn: Worse ... or better?
[Source: Invader Zim.]

Aur: Guys, let me ask you a question. Can you two agree on anything?
Lye: Yeah.
Maddy: Not really.
Aur: Good to know.
[Source: ???]

Felicity: Tell you what, I'll get the gasoline.
Nevin: We're not gonna burn it!
Felicity: Come on, man! You never let me burn anything.
[Source:It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia.]

"Breaking the rules is just one of Zack Blaze's many job responsibilities. And let’s not forget bucking the system, rabble-rousing, and assaulting superior officers." - Zack Blaze.
[Source: Homestar Runner.]

"You’re living a lie. Would you like cash back?" - Nevin, to Valino.
[Source: Homestar Runner.]

Shin: Those guys on the other side of the room are staring at you.
Philomel: Of course they are, I am stunningly attractive.
[Source: City of Bones.]

Lye: Did you do it?
Amari: Something goes wrong and you blame me. After all these years, where's the trust?
[Pause]
Amari: Yes, I did.
[Source: Tumblr.]

[Nevin and Eteri are eating ice cream, Fenn races in crying]
Fenn: Nevin! Cat lady! I think I swallowed a bug! The good times are over! You gotta help me out! I could die!
Eteri: Well, what do you want we should do?
Fenn: Gimme them dang ice creams! [Grabs the ice cream bars] We'll freeze 'im out!
Fenn: [Quickly eats them]
Fenn: [Sobs] Oh-ho-ho, it deliciously didn't work!
Fenn [Runs away bawling and screaming.]
[Nevin narrows his eyes at Fenn, annoyed.]
[Source: Homestar Runner.]

[Venex Apara]

Nevin: I suddenly don't understand anything and am currently casting sincere doubt on the laughable insinuation that I or anyone else ever actually did for even a single moment.
Ven: Nevin, don't be such a damn noob.
Ven: The explanation for all the stuff I just heard is so obvious.
Nevin: What is the explanation?
Ven: Mutha.
Ven: Fuckin.
Ven: Shenanigans.

[Souce: Homestuck]

[Amari]

hahahaha these are all absolutely fantastic

[Flamebird]

Nevin: Did you tell anyone we're dating?
Eteri: Yes, Nevin. I have no self-control and told all of Scara Brae we're dating.
Nevin: Ok, no need for sarcasm.
Eteri: No, seriously. I have no control and told everyone we're dating.
[Source: ???]

Maddy: You need a hobby.
Amari: I have a hobby.
Maddy: Being bitter isn't a hobby.
[Source: Tumblr.]

Ezra: Nevin, do you want to hang out sometime?
Nevin. Generic excuse.
Ezra: Did you just say, “generic excuse?”
[Source: Twitter.]

[During Blood Fury and Alchemy]
Nevin: First, we've gotta figure out what makes your abilities unique, and then research the behoozits out of it!
Felicity: My power has behoozits?
[Source: Homestar Runner.]

"There are only four rules you need to remember: make the plan. execute the plan. expect the plan to go off the rails. throw away the plan." - Nevin.
[Source: The Flash.]

Maddy: Scarlet, if Ulroke told you to jump off a-
Amari: -YES!
[Source: Homestar Runner.]

Amari: I slept for almost twelve hours but I might still be tired so let's go for twelve more just in case.
Lye: Scarlet, that’s a coma.
Amari: Sounds festive.
[Source: Eagle 1.]

"I could get killed. or worse. Nevin could give me a lecture on responsibility again." - Felicity.
[Source: ???]

"Oh, hey all of you guys. I'm a Zack Blaze. Wow, I am so great!" - Zack Blaze.
[Source: Homestar Runner.]

"This is a dream that I have had since lunch and I am not giving up on it now." - Fenn.
[Source: The Office.]

[Eteri snuck caffeine into Nevin's water, now he's acting crazy and insane. Ezra is sitting on the couch and Nevin is hanging upside-down from the ceiling.]
Ezra: Get down!
Nevin: No!
Ezra: GET DOWN!
Nevin: No, no... Parakeet.
Ezra: [Backing up for space in disbelief, and very clearly] Did you just say "parakeet"???
[Source: Homestar Runner.]

Nevin: I don't know how you all wound up like this. But I do know it's Fenn's fault.
[Everyone yells at Fenn]
Fenn: Glad you enjoy my work!
[Source: VeggieTales in the House.]

[Flamebird]

Only one this time :/

Nevin: I'm sorry for ruining our fishing trip, everyone.
Fenn: Wow, usually I'm the one who ruins everything...
[Source: VeggieTales in the House.]

[Amari]

pfft I always have fun reading these

[Flamebird]

[When Scarlet reduces Maddy to a singed pile of plant goo]
Maddy: Well, at least I still have my personality...
[Source: Spongebob.]

"Can people stop making jokes about death? I died once and I'm offended." - Kyla Orlouge.
[Source: Tumblr.]

Philomel: Did you just refer to the knife as the “people opener”?
Fil'ayn: Should I not have?
[Source: ???]

"If I had learned how to laugh as a child, I would right now." - Lye.
[Source: Psych.]

Shinsou: You're so dramatic!
Philomel, with a rose between her lips, throwing glitter around, dressed in evening wear during the day, draping herself across a piano: I have no idea what you're talking about.
[Source: Tumblr.]

Ezra: Explain to me how you two got in an accident.
Nevin: Well we were driving and there was a deer on the road and Eteri didn’t notice it so I said “Eteri, deer!”
Ezra: And????
Nevin: Tell her your answer.
Eteri: …
Eteri [sighs]: “Yes, dear?”
[Source: Tumblr.]

"How do you compassionately stab someone?" - Scarlet.
[Source: Fire Emblem Gaiden.]

Felicity: [Holds fire on water]
Nevin: What are you trying...
Felicity: No, don't ask me what I'm doing!
Nevin: Are you trying to burn water!?
Felicity: Water is made of oxygen and hydrogen. Oxygen is oxidizing and hydrogen is highly flammable.
Nevin: But you can't burn water.
Felicity: THAT'S WHY I HATE WATER!
[Source: Tumblr.]

[FennWenn]

Ezra: WHAT IS THIS SENSATION DEEP WITHIN ME?
Nevin: Ezra, that's called an 'emotion'.
Ezra: GET IT OUT!
[source: it's me. i am genius]

Fenn: *stabbed in the gut by a sword*
Fenn: Oh no, I'm allergic!
Fenn: No, really, I'm allergic. This burns.
[source: pintrist possibly]

"He sounded horribly, horribly sane. And then I remembered the drugs."
- Fenn
[source: its meeee a mario]

Nevin: Why do people keep trying to put his blanket on me?
Eteri: Because you’re in shock!
Nevin: That doesn’t mean I need a blanket. It means I need booze.
[source: i have done me a strong forget]

Ezra: I would like to join you in acknowledging the difficulties of your life.
Nevin: You are the worst at this comfort thing.
[source: i did another strong forget. pintrest?]

Fenn: If I wear a shirt inside out, then the entire universe would be wearing it except me.
Fenn: *throws on an ugly red sweater*
[source: i do a give up]

let me know if some of these have been said already, 'cause I'm gettin a strong sense of deja vu here and I don't know why...

[Flamebird]

Ashla: You know you can take more than one trip?
Felicity: [Carrying 50 bags] Two trips are for the weak!
[Source: Tumblr.]

Eteri: Do you think trees have family trees?
Nevin: You mean a forest.
Eteri: Wait-
[Source: Tumblr.]

"The details are irrelevant, just bail me out of jail!" - Fenn, to Nevin.
[Source: ???]

Amari: The sign says 'do not touch.'
Maddy: [Pushes sign over] Not anymore.
[Source: Psych.]

[Nevin meets Eteri's parents]
Nevin: I think your mom liked me.
Eteri: She begged me to marry you after you left.
[Source: ???]

Nevin: If anything goes wrong I’m holding you responsible.
Fenn: Oh yeah, that’ll teach me.
[Source: Tumblr.]

Philomel: You don’t understand. I had a very tough childhood.
Celandine: I understand very well. I’M HAVING A VERY TOUGH CHILDHOOD!!!
[Source: A Series of Unfortunate Events.]

"Nevin told me to grow up and I was speechless. It’s hard to talk when you have 45 gummy bears in your mouth." - Felicity.
[Source: Tumblr.]

Nevin: Gentle reminder to not eat too much candy before bed.
Fenn: No.
Nevin: This was a gentle reminder yet your words of defiance fill me with unbridled rage.
[Source: Tumblr.]

[Flamebird]

[I randomly feel the need to say that I have never watched the majority of the shows I get all my quotes from. I just randomly find these online. VeggieTales, Invader Zim, and Homestar are pretty much the only ones I've watched xD]

Nevin: Oh gosh, did you put glitter in our laundry detergent?
Eteri: Yeah, I’m experimenting with some new entrepreneurial ideas. That one’s called Sparkle Suds. Dress loud.
Nevin: Will you stop putting glitter in everything? This morning you put glitter in the butter.
Eteri: Disco Dairy. Spread the party.
[Source: Parks and Rec.]

Nevin: Mr. Toivonen, are you some sort of unethical quake?
Daisuke: The most quakiest!
[Source: Homestar Runner.]

"Stand around and look cute? Well! that’s the perfect job for me! I do that all the time, without even trying!" - Philomel.
[Source: ???]

Felicity [to Ashla]: ILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUIL OVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOV EYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILO-
Ashla: [Turns to Hanuh]
Hanuh [to Ashla]: I accept you under certain circumstances.
[Source: Sarah's Scribbles.]

Philomel: So this guy is giving me trouble.
Fil'ayn: Then kill him.
Philomel: Wha-no!
Fil'ayn: Then I'll kill him!
Philomel: Fil'ayn, NO!
[Source: ???]

Eteri: I'm cold.
Nevin: What? [Taking off jacket] I told you to bring more layers, but of course you didn’t listen and now [Piling scarves on her] now look, I’ve got to make sure you don’t freeze to death! And [Taking somebody else’s hat] how long have you been cold? You should’ve said something sooner!
[Source: ???]

Felicity: Do you think trees have family trees?
Yvonne: You mean a forest.
Felicity: Wait-
[Source: Tumblr.]

[Yvonne]

Felicity to Yvonne: Welcome to the real world. It sucks. You're gonna love it!
- Monica, Friends

Felicity: This is it. We made it!
Felicity & Yvonne: Whoa.
Yvonne: It's really creepy...
Felicity: Yeah, isn't it great?
Yvonne: We could get in big trouble.
Felicity: I know!
Yvonne: I wonder if its brains are still in there?
Felicity: There's only one way to know. C'mon, let's go check it out.
Fae Guide: The only checking out you will do will be to check out of here.
Felicity: Aww man.
Fae Guide: We're way beyond the boundary of Donnalaich.
Felicity: Look, hot stuff is scared!
Fae Guide: It's mister hot stuff to you, buddy, and right now we are all in very real danger!
Felicity: Danger? Ha! I walk on the wild side. I laugh in the face of danger! Ha ha ha ha!
- Simba & Nala, The Lion King

Yvonne: It's a beautiful day. Winds out of the east at ten knots, visibility... unlimited. Enter the weather in the logbook! [looks through binoculars] Oh! There's something down there! I will bring it back for science. Awww, it's a puppy. Ahh! No time! A storm! Lightning! Hail--
Yvonne to Felicity: --What are you doing?! Don't you know this is an exclusive club? Only explorers get in here. Not just any kid off the street with a helmet and a pair of goggles. Do you think you got what it takes? Well, do you?!
Felicity: Ah... y--
Yvonne: All right, you're in. Welcome aboard. What's wrong? Can't you talk? Hey, I don't bite. You and me, we're in a club now. I saw where your balloon went. Come on, let's go get it! My name's Yvonne.
Yvonne: There it is.
Felicity: [looks over ruined bridge that leads to balloon... and gulps]
Yvonne: Well, go ahead. [pushes gently]
Felicity: [looks over shoulder for reassurance]
Yvonne: Go on. [waves away]
Felicity: [musters courage and applies goggles to face, starts crossing] Yahhh! [falls through ruined bridge]
- Ellie & Carl, Up

Felicity: For your information, there's a lot more to neanderthals than people think.
Yvonne: Example?
Felicity: Example... uh... neanderthals are like onions!
*Felicity holds up an onion which Yvonne sniffs*
Yvonne: They stink?
Felicity: Yes... No!
Yvonne: Oh, they make you cry?
Felicity: No!
Yvonne: Oh, you leave 'em out in the sun, they get all brown, start sproutin' little white hairs...
Felicity: [peels the onion] NO! Layers. Onions have layers. Neanderthals have layers... You get it? We both have layers. [walks off]
Yvonne: Oh, you both have layers. Oh. You know, not everybody likes onions. CAKE! Everybody loves cake! Cakes have layers!
Felicity: I don't care what everyone else likes! Neanderthals are not like cakes.
Yvonne: You know what else everybody likes? Parfaits! Have you ever met a person, you say, "Let's get some parfait," they say, "Hell no, I don't like parfait." Parfaits are delicious!
Felicity: NO! You dense, irritating, miniature beast of burden! Neanderthals are like onions! End of story! Bye bye! See ya later.
Yvonne: Parfait's may be the most delicious thing on the whole damn planet!
- Shrek & Donkey, Shrek

[Flamebird]

I literally need to have Felicity say that first quote! xD The onion one had me laughing so hard! xD

EDIT: I had to get some quotes...

Felicity: Why isn't eleven pronounced onety one?
Yvonne: ... This is my favorite thing you've ever said ever.
[Source: ???]

Yvonne: You know you can take more than one trip?
Felicity: [Carrying 50 bags] Two trips are for the weak!
[Source: Tumblr.]

"Yvonne told me to grow up and I was speechless. It’s hard to talk when you have 45 gummy bears in your mouth." - Felicity.
[Source: Tumblr.]

Felicity: Oh no, I ruined everything!
Yvonne: [Narrating] She said with surprise in her voice, for some reason.
[Source: Tumblr.]

Yvonne: We’re not here to judge you. We came to kick butt, catch bad guys, and eat pie.
Felicity: Not necessarily in that order.
Yvonne: And it hasn’t been.
Felicity: We started with the pie.
Yvonne: Always.
[Source: Psych.]

Yvonne: I bark.
Yvonne: [Points to Felicity] That girl there, see her?
Yvonne: She bites.
[Source: Dog Day Afternoon.]

[Yvonne]

Yvonne: If you can't stir with the big girls--
Felicity: Stay away from the cauldron.
- Pinterest

Felicity: Yes, we are aware how obnoxious we are when we are together.
Yvonne: No, we don't care.
- Pinterest

Felicity: Sweetie, you have to think before you speak.
Yvonne: Why? I can say anything to you without thinking about it first.
Felicity: Yeah, well men aren't like us. They're much more fragile and needy. The fact that they think we're the needy ones is a testament to our superiority.
- Angela & Brennan, Bones

[Flamebird]

Felicity: Gee, maybe I didn't have the money after all, Yvonne.
Yvonne: Yeah.
Felicity: Maybe I dreamed it.
Yvonne: Yeah.
Felicity: Maybe I'm just a stupid lame brain.
Yvonne: Yeah.
Felicity: ...
Felicity: Couldn't you hesitate a little on that one?

Felicity: Gee, I'm scared!
Yvonne: Don't worry, Felicity. I'll think of something.
Felicity: That's what I'm scared of.

Yvonne: Felicity? Buddy? Don't tease old Yvonne! Say something!
Felicity: [Weakly] Something.
Yvonne: Well, there's something...

Felicity: You leave that to Yvonne. She's the brains of this outfit!
Person: Well, what does that make you?
Felicity: What else? An executive.

Felicity: We've gotta fight them to the end, Yvonne!
Yvonne: Yeah! And I've got news for you, Felicity.
Felicity: What's that?
Yvonne: This is the end.

All from: Rocky and Bullwinkle.

[Yvonne]

Yvonne: Scientists say the world is made up of protons, neutrons and electrons.
Felicity: They forgot to mention morons.
- Pinterest

Felicity to Yvonne: You don't have to be crazy to hang out with me! I'll train you... Make your appointment today!
- Pinterest

Felicity: Disease; IDIOTITIS. Causes the brain to shut down and the mouth to keep talking. Thousands affected. Might be contagious.
Yvonne: Best defense; slap and run.
- Pinterest

Felicity to Yvonne: Instead of a sign that says "Do not disturb" I need one that says "Already disturbed. Proceed with caution."
- Pinterest

[Flamebird]

Felicity to Yvonne: Instead of a sign that says "Do not disturb" I need one that says "Already disturbed. Proceed with caution."
- Pinterest
This is too perfect!

"Out of all my body parts, my eyes are in the best shape. I do at least 463 eye rolls per day." - Yvonne.
[Source: ???]

Yvonne to Felicity: I love you, pal, don’t ever doubt that for one second!
Yvonne to Felicity: But also at the same time I am so done with all your crap, it's unreal.
[Source: Tumblr.]

"If you ever break Yvonne's heart, that’s okay. She's only got one and it’ll heal. But I’m going to break all 206 of your bones in exchange." - Felicity, to any dates Yvonne has ever.
[Source: Internet.]

Felicity: I have edge.
Yvonne: You really don't. You are literally the most wide-eyed person I've ever seen. You have the face of a cartoon lamb.
[Source: ???]

Felicity: Be the bigger person.
Yvonne: I am 3ft. and bitter. You be the bigger person!
[Source: ???]

Felicity: I have some bad news. Due to circumstances beyond my control...
Yvonne: Impulsivity and inattention to detail.
[Source: The Office.]

Felicity: [Angrily sreaming in the middle of town] I AM NOT MAKING A SCENE!!!
[Source: TAWOG]

Yvonne: Felicity, are you okay?
Felicity: Aw, don't worry, Yvonne. I'm a big girl! I can handle this.
Felicity: [Shuts and locks door, throws herself onto bed bawling]
[Source: TAWOG]

[Flamebird]

More characters than Yvonne and Felicity this time.

"For the record, it could kill us to meet new people. They could be murderers, they could be carriers of unusual pathogens. " - Lilly.
[Source: TBBT.]

Yvonne: There's the guy who took your ice cream. Now's your chance, be assertive!
Lilly: Hey, that's my ice cream!
Yvonne: Great, now let him have it!
Lilly: That's okay, you can have it.
Yvonne: [Facepalms.]
[Source: Spongebob Squarepants.]

Fenn: It’s becoming increasingly obvious… I can deny it no longer!
Fenn: … I am small.
[Source: Spongebob Squarepants.]

"If I don’t kill somebody soon, I’m going to forget how." - Lye.
[Source: Big Trouble.]

Fenn: I mean, small animals are way more vicious. It’s because their anger has less space to be bottled up in.
Nevin: That’s ridiculous. Give me one example of this.
Stare: Spiders.
Eteri: Wasps.
Ezra: Terriers.
Felicity: Yvonne.
[Source: Internet.]

"Any knife is a pocket knife if you can fit it in your pocket. " - Aur
[Source: Tumblr.]

Amari, pointing to her chest: I’ll keep all my emotions right here, and then one day, I’ll die.
[Source: ???]

[knock on the door]
Eteri: You wanna get that?
Nevin: And interact with people? No thanks.
[Source: Good Luck Charlie.]

Lilly: Are you drinking Pepsi for breakfast?
Yvonne: Yeah. What did you have for breakfast?
Lilly: … Nothing.
Yvonne: I'm doing better than you then.
[Source: Vine.]

Maddy: Just curious, is there a reason your sword is still pointed at me?
Kyla: Well, there's probably still some part of me that wants to stab you.
Maddy: I get that.
[Source: Teen Wolf.]

Sei: Don't take that tone with me, young lady. I fought the war for your sort.
Ashla: I bet you're sorry you won.
[Source: A Hard Day's Night.]

"Being cute is really hard because even when I’m angry, Nevin just kinda giggles at me and says “aw, you’re so cute when you’re angry.” Like, no. Stop. Recognize my power." - Felicity.
[Source: Tumblr.]

Max Dirks: Why does everyone always assume the worst in me?
Ashla: It saves time.
[Source: The Nanny.]

Eteri, hugging Nevin: I knew I made a good choice!
Nevin: In what?
Eteri: My best friend.
[Source: Cars.]

"Girls, come on! Leave the saving the universe to the men? I don’t think so. " - Philomel.
[Source: the Incredibles.]

Lye: Weren't you killed?
Kyla: Yeah, but I'm okay now.
[Source: Invader Zim]

Fenn: Wanna know how hardcore I am?
Fenn: [punches a wall]
Fenn: Take me to the hospital.
[Source: Tumblr.]

"Dear Diary, my teenaged angst now has a body count." - Ashla.
[Source: ???]

Yvonne: Isn’t it bad to use anger as fuel?
Felicity: Two negatives always make a positive so, your point?
[Source: ???]

[Yvonne]

Yvonne: There's the guy who took your ice cream. Now's your chance, be assertive!
Lilly: Hey, that's my ice cream!
Yvonne: Great, now let him have it!
Lilly: That's okay, you can have it.
Yvonne: [Facepalms.]
[Source: Spongebob Squarepants.]
I just choked on my bhuja snacks. :D

OMG.

Fenn: I mean, small animals are way more vicious. It’s because their anger has less space to be bottled up in.
Nevin: That’s ridiculous. Give me one example of this.
Stare: Spiders.
Eteri: Wasps.
Ezra: Terriers.
Felicity: Yvonne.
[Source: Internet.]
I'm literally crying from laughing too much. Someone, help. Did not expect. *struggles to take breath*

Like, no, stop! Recognize my power! Haha, these get funnier as time goes on and we get to know each other's characters better, lol.

[Flamebird]

:D Thank you! It's actually really hard to find good quotes for the drow-dwarf though :/

Fenn: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Philomel: To beat up the idiot telling jokes about him.
[Source: Teen Titans.]

[Everyone is trapped inside Nevin's shop, which has been locked for the night]
Avis: Everybody calm down! We have enough food to last for weeks-
Felicity: [Burps after consuming multiple barrels of food] -That's hours.
[Source: VeggieTales in the House.]

Eteri: Hey, where are you going?
Nevin: To take a long, hard look at my life.
Eteri: Well, while you're there, would you pick up a quart of milk?
[Source: Hey Arnold.]

Fenn: Nevin! Nevin! Look! I got us friendship bracelets!
[pause]
Nevin: (sigh) Alright, Fennick. (holding out wrist) Put it here.
[Fenn puts them on, revealing that they're handcuffs]
[Source: RWBY Chibi.]

Yvonne: Be careful when you cut the onions, they can make you cry.
Felicity: NOT IF YOU MAKE THEM CRY FIRST!
Felicity: [Stabs the onion]
[Source: TAWOG.]

"I guess I kind of hate most things. But I never really seem to hate you." - Lye, to Scarlet.
[Source: Parks and Recreation.]

"You know what they say: a little childhood trauma builds character." - Practically every character on this site.
[Source: ???]

Lye: Why is the world against me?
Scarlet: Is that rhetorical or would you like me to answer?
[Source: Tumblr.]

[Flamebird]

Lye: I just want to take over the world! Is that so hard?
[Source: The Adventures of Rocky and Bullwinkle.]

Ashla: Follow my lead!
Black Shadow: Pfft! Why would I follow you?
Ashla: Because I'm the leader of this mission.
Black Shadow: Oh, you're too dumb to be the leader!
Ashla: You don't understand how dumb I can be!
Ashla: Wait...
[Source: The Adventures of Rocky and Bullwinkle.]

[During Blood Fury and Alchemy]
Nevin: If I didn't know better, I'd say you're nervous about something.
Felicity: [Fake, nervous laugh] Me? Nervous? Are you kidding me? It's not like I'm hiding some personal flaw I never told you about that could put the alchemy and experiments in jeopardy! [Laughs even more]
Nevin: So... You're okay with being poked with a needle?
Felicity: Are you kidding me? Pfft! I love being poked with needles! I was born to be poked by a needle! I'm wondering why you're not poking me with a needle right now! Come on, let's go! [Shouts loudly and charges right through door]
Nevin: ...
Nevin: Well I'm convinced. [Smashes through wall next to door]
[Source: The Adventures of Rocky and Bullwinkle.]

Maddy: Scarlet, do you trust me?
Scarlet: Madison, you're my best friend! So I'm comfortable saying... not always.
[Source: The Adventures of Rocky and Bullwinkle.]

Felicity: I have powers and I have no idea how to use them!
[Source: The Adventures of Rocky and Bullwinkle.]

Vitruvion: Release Avis and no harm will come to you.
Vitruvion: Maybe a little.
[Source: The Adventures of Rocky and Bullwinkle.]

[Breaker]

Shinsou (to Breaker): Hold my beer and watch this!

Source unknown.

---

Breaker: *is actually a good leader*

Source: Russel Crowe movies such as Gladiator and Robin Hood

---

Philomel: My measurements.

Source: Sherlock

[Flamebird]

Fenn: Hey, want anything to eat?
Rosellia's Sword: THE SOULS OF THE INNOCENT!
Felicity: A bagel.
Sword: NOOOOO!
Felicity: Two bagels.
[Source: Vine.]

[FennWenn]

Fenn: I have a solution.
Nevin: What is it?
Fenn: It involves theft and explosions.
Nevin: Absolutely not.

Fenn: *Looking at wanted posters*
Nevin: Are you a criminal?
Fenn: Not here!

Ezra: Did you have dinner?
Nevin: I had a salad.
Nevin: It was actually fruit salad.
Nevin: Well, it was mostly grapes.
Nevin: Truthfully, it was all grapes.
Nevin: Fermented grapes.
Nevin:
Ezra:
Nevin: It was wine.
Nevin: I had wine for dinner.

Anyone Dramatic: Winter is coming.
Fenn: *Flounces into the room.*
Fenn: You rang?

[Flamebird]

Nevin: If anything goes wrong, I’m holding you responsible.
Fenn: Oh yeah, that’ll teach me.
Tumblr.

Nevin: I love it when you get angry-
Felicity: [glares]
Nevin: I meant at other people, not me…
Castle.

Nevin: Goodnight, Felicity.
Felicity: Goodnight!
Nevin: Goodnight, terrifying monster under the bed that eats misbehaving kids.
Eteri: [Through moniter under the bed in distorted voice] GOODNIGHT.
???

Maddy: (breathes)
Morus: Every word is a lie!
Tumblr.

Ezra: Does anyone have any questions?
Eteri: Why are clothes all different colors but lint is always bluish gray?
Ezra: I meant questions about the mission.
Twitter.

Maddy: I'm cold.
Scarlet: Just like my heart.
Maddy: Now is not the time to debate which one of us is more dead inside.
Tumblr.

Nevin: I don't have the energy for this.
Elthas: For what?
Nevin: [Gestures towards everything]
Tumblr.

Yvonne: Is the equipment secure?
Felicity: Check.
Yvonne. Weapons loaded?
Felicity: Check.
Yvonne: Did you have breakfast?
Felicity: What? That’s not on the checklist.
Yvonne: I added it because I care about you.
Felicity. Oh. No, I did not have breakfast.
Yvonne: Unacceptable. Look in your bag.
Felicity, pulling a granola bar out of his bag: Hey, there’s little chocolate chips in this!
Yvonne: Yeah, I’m not an idiot. I know how to trick my blood sister into eating her fiber.
B99.

Yvonne: Now, Felicity. What do we say if someone asks you out?
Felicity: BEGONE THOT!!!
Yvonne, tearing up: I'm so proud of you...
Tumblr.

[Flamebird]

Nevin: I just got a new notebook, what should I put it in?
Eteri: Put spaghetti in it.
Nevin: I'm taking suggestions from anyone else.
Felicity: Put spaghetti in it.
Nevin: I'm taking suggestions from anyone except you two.
Fenn: Put spaghetti in it.
Nevin: I'm no longer taking suggestions.
Source: Tumblr.

Felicity: [Trips on air]
Nevin: Haha, you're so clumsy!
[Later when Felicity's not around]
Nevin, punching the air: Who do you think you are, who tHE CRIMSON THREAD DO YOU THINK-
Source: ???

Felicity: I'll have the number 8.
Yvonne: That's a party platter, it serves 12 people.
Felicity: I know what I'm about son.
Source: Parks and Rec.

Felicity: "What happens if you put a werewolf up on the moon" is a great question. Probably the best question ever.
Nosdyn: He will explode and die because there's no oxygen on the moon.
Felicity: We never said we'd send him up without a suit, you absolute monster.
Source: Tumblr.

Yvonne: It was a gift from my mother.
Felicity: Your mom gives pretty bad gifts. Although, on the other hand all my mom ever gave me was abandonment issues, so...
Source: B99

Jake: Nosdyn, wake up!
Nosdyn: Five more minutes...
Jake: You've been in a coma since the goblin attack on Stonevale!
Nosdyn: ... Okay, three more minutes.
Source: Vine.

Golem: Why are you taking your shoes off?
Nevin: So I don't break your nose when I kick it.
Felicity: I can fight my own battles.
Nevin: No, you can't.
Source: ???

Fenn: I sure showed those guys, huh team?
Fenn: Did you see how uncomfortable they got when I started crying?
Source: ???

Jake, whispering: I don't like you.
Nosdyn, whispering: I'll get over it.
Source: Modern Family.

Fenn: Why is Yvonne on top of the building?
Felicity: She likes to be tall.
Source: ???

Felicity: What do we do, Yvonne?
Yvonne: I don't know!
Felicity: You're the oldest!
Yvonne: Not mentally!
Source: ???

Nevin: [Breaks window]
Nevin: Vandalism is wrong, Felicity.
Source: Tumblr.

[Flamebird]

Eteri: [Singing] OOOOOOH, waffles jammin'! Waffle jam! Would you like some waffles, man!
Eteri: [Merrily hands waffle to Nevin.]
Nevin: For the last time, Eteri... I DON'T KNOW WHAT A WAFFLE IS!
Eteri: [Starts crying] Nevin doesn't like waffles...
Ezra: Nevin doesn't like waffles?!?
Felicity: Nevin doesn't like cookies!
[While everyone talks over each other, Fennick holds up a carrot and a sign that reads "I FOUND A CARROT!"]
Eteri: [In the chaos] Puppies and ponies and MySpacedotcom!
Nevin: [Screams]
Nevin: I'M SURROUNDED BY IDIOTS!!!
[Source: Firestar Doesn't Like Waffles.]

[Flamebird]

Jake: I know we've always had this unspoken rivalry...
Nosdyn: It's not a rivalry, you're just always mean to me. And it's not unspoken, you talk about it all the time!
[Source: Superstore.]

Josh: You need them to think you're stronger than you actually are.
Shinsou: Is that what you do?
Josh: Me? Oh no, my power is no illusion. I can totally demolish you.
[Source: ???]

"What beautiful weather outside… I’m gonna close the curtains." - All the emo characters.
[Source: Tumblr.]

Nevin: Fennick! How did you get in here?
Fenn: Oh, uh, through the hole in the middle of your living room floor!
Nevin: But we don't have a hole in our floor.
Fenn: [Holds up a shovel] You do now.
[Source: The Addams Family.]

Nevin: Is everything okay?
Stare: If by "okay", you mean that my life is a meaningless, black cauldron of swirling failure, then yes, everything is groovy.
Nevin: That's not at all what I meant by "okay".
[Source: Phineas and Ferb.]

"You have to pick your battles. One of the battles I picked was to stop Eteri from running plastic tubes all over the shop and placing hamsters in them. She was gonna call it Tube City." - Nevin.
[Source: The Office.]

[Flamebird]

Shinsou: Hey, want anything to eat?
Yamato: THE SOULS OF THE INNOCENT!
Hayate: A bagel.
Yamato: NOOOOO!
Hayate: Two bagels.
[Source: Vine.]

Shinsou: Oh great, this is a soft mission...
Hayate: You know, I'm actually not disappointed...
Hayate: [Arguing with Yamato aloud] Yes I am. Yes I am! Yes. I. Am!!
[Source: Young Justice.]

Yamato: TERMINATE HIM!
Hayate: Uuuhhhhhh, no-
Shinsou: Hey, Hayate, argue with your inner demons later!
Hayate: Demon. Singular. One is enough, believe me.
[Source: Young Justice.]

[Flamebird]

"Is ruining people’s lives a hobby?" - Lye.
[Source: Tumblr.]

Fenn: (tearful) Love is dead and never existed. All you did was betray me as I lay sick and festering. You are the definition of dread...
Nevin: Are you okay?
Fenn: Eteri stole my freaking garlic bread...
[Source: Tumblr.]

"It’s Monday, and you know what that means! Time to train 10,000 pigeons for the purposes of revenge!" - Fenn.
[Source: Twitter.]

Felicity: Am I in trouble?
Yvonne: Have a guess.
Felicity: ... No?
Yvonne: Have another guess.
[Source: ???]

Eteri: So what time does the Judgemental Express arrive?
Nevin: Stare gets here at noon.
[Source: Gilmore Girls.]

Joshua: Wow, you're really mature for someone your age!
Felicity: Thanks, it's the trauma.
[Source: ???]

Hunter: Can we kill him??
Lilthis: No.
Hunter. I can make it look like an accident…
Lilthis: … How?
Lilthis: -Wait, no.
[Source: ???]

Eteri: Need some sleep, Nevin?
Nevin: Uh, no?
Eteri: You have bags under your eyes.
Nevin: It’s a look I’m going for.
[Source: NCIS.]

[Shinsou Vaan Osiris]

Shinsou:

FOOTBALL'S COMING HOME, IT'S COMMMINNGGG HOMMME, IT'S COMMMINNNGGG...

[Flamebird]

Felicity: Hey, Nevin! Hey, Nevin!
Nevin: What, Felicity? What is it?
Felicity: Want to hear what I've learned as an alchemist?
Nevin: I guess?
Felicity: [Holding deadly nightshade] This is called... the poppy seed!
Nevin: I already know what a poppy seed is, Felicity.
Felicity: [Slams berries in his head and smothers them around his forehead] You use it to make people fall asleep just a bit easier!
Nevin: I don't think this is a poppy seed, but I do think I'm going to pass out.
Daisuke: Felicity! Is that an actual plant you're touching? You've improved so much!
Nevin: So do you think this is all berry juice? 'Cause I think my eye's also bleeding...
[Source: Moonkitti.]

[Flamebird]

Yvonne: Uh, hey, Felicity? I need some help.
Felicity: *In pharmacist/ medic mode* What hurts?
Yvonne: It's incredibly serious.
Felicity: Out with it! It is my duty to take care of my friends.
Yvonne: It's... my heart.
Felicity: OH NO WE HAVE TO-
Yvonne: No! Not like that, Felicity!
Felicity: What?
Yvonne: How can you tell if someone really loves you?
Felicity: Oh. Well, you see, I can always count on Nevin to be there when I need him.
Yvonne: No, Felicity. I mean how can you tell if someone's in love with you?
Felicity: Nobody loves me, Yvonne.
Yvonne: Look, look, look, Felicity-
Source: Moonkitti.

[Shinsou Vaan Osiris]

Shin: But Dirks, you said I was in with a chance at being admin!

Max Dirks: Half an hour ago you WERE in with a chance! This is half an hour hence! We've fucking time travelled, yeah? Maybe outside there are robots walking about, maybe Davina McColl's the new pope. Maybe you can download rice!

Shin: So, where does this leave me?

Max Dirks: Well, I guess where this leaves you Shin is on the back benches of the Althanas staff, with a big "vote for me" sticker on the end of your big flacid dick. Get back on the train to Lyesville, pronto!



(Copyright The Thick of It)

[Flamebird]

Shin: You... Uh... Look like a neanderthal.
Felicity: What. The. Heck. Did you just say!?! I DO NOT TAKE PRISONERS I DO NOT SURRENDER PREPARE TO DIE!
Shin: Dude, you're like, a baby.
(Source - Moonkitti: Rootpaw Dies.)

[Flamebird]

Terawyn: Hey, want anything to eat?
Ayleth: THE SOULS OF THE INNOCENT!
Ashla: A bagel.
Ayleth: NOOOOO!
Ashla: Two bagels.
[Source: Vine.]

[Flamebird]

"We're dead! We're dead! We're alive, but we're dead!" - Everyone, during the End of All Things.
SOURCE The Incredibles.

Shinsou: Punch me in the face.
Philomel: Punch you?
Shinsou: Yes, punch me in the face. Didn’t you hear me?
Philomel: I always hear ‘punch me in the face’ when you’re speaking, but it’s usually subtext.
SOURCE Sherlock.

Person: [Gets bitten by snake]
Person: Oh no! Please help me! Is it poisonous?
Felicity: Nope.
Person: Oh, thank the Thayne-
Felicity: It's venomous.
SOURCE: Meme.

[When Amari first "joined" the Crimson Hand]
Amari: If you kill a killer, the number of killers in the world stays the same.
Aur: [With his mouth full] Kill two.
SOURCE Tumblr.

Shinsou: You're so dramatic!
Philomel, with a rose between her lips, throwing glitter around, dressed in evening wear during the day, draping herself across a piano: I have no idea what you're talking about.
SOURCE Tumblr.

"I had to take a sick day. I’m so sick of these people." - Philomel.
SOURCE Seinfeld.

"I’m a member of the GATE. We fight monsters and protect humanity and stuff!" - Alyssa Snow.
SOURCE Steven Universe.

[Now that Felicity's 18]
Felicity: I need an adult.
Felicity: Wait, I am an adult.
Felicity: I NEED A BETTER ADULT!
SOURCE Tumblr.


And now, a scene from Fallout: Nuclear Rage:
Shinsou: You're awfully mature for someone your age.
Felicity: Thanks! It's the trauma.
SOURCE ???

[Flamebird]

Felicity: *Treating a sick child* This might hurt a little.
Kid: Okay.
Felicity: There is no Santa Claus.
Source: Meme.

Felicity: I've got good news and bad news.
Patient: Good first.
Felicity: You're going to lose fifty pounds!
Patient: And bad?
Felicity: Fifty pounds worth of legs.
Source: Meme.

Patient: Well, you see doctor, obesity runs in my family.
Felicity: No, the problem is nobody runs in your family.
Source: Meme.

Felicity: You need to quit smoking!
Patient: Tell me something I don't know!
Felicity: Your dad.
Source: Meme.

Felicity: *Shoving herbs into patient's face* Eat these if you don't want to die.
Source: Warrior Cats Fanbase.

[Flamebird]

Karl Mayrdorff: DUES VALT!
[Source: Meme.]

Philomel: [Flirting] Hi, I'm Philomel.
Felicity: Hi, I'm straight.
[Source: It Sucks to be Luigi.]

Owen: Bye, lads, make me lotsa money:
Sage: Bye, Lulia! Bye, Master! Bye, Lulia...
Victor: You said "Bye Lulia" two times.
Sage: I like Lulia.
[Source: SpongeBob SquarePants.]

John Cromwell: [Holding up Hayate's new arm] BEHOLD! MY CREATION!
[Source: VeggieTales.]

[Hayate bawling in a bar]
Felicity: [walks in unaware] Hey, new Brotherhood Manager!
[Hayate continues bawling]
Felicity: Wow. The pressure's setting in on him already.
Hayate: No, Fel, I didn't get the promotion.
Felicity: WHAT! Why?!
Hayate: Mr. Osiris says I'm just a kid...
Felicity: What! But saying you're a kid is like saying I'm a kid!
Waiter [walks in with tray] Here's your kid's meal, ma'am.
Felicity: Uh, I'm supposed to get a toy with that.
[Source: Spongebob.]

Shinsou: *Standing alone in the kitchen'
Hayate and Felicity: *Burst in* DAD WE'RE THIRSTY!
Shinsou: Well I should hope so. You kids have been playing outside for the past nine hours.
Hayate and Felicity: *look down* Yeah...
Shinsou: Who would like a delicious chocolaty batch of Circletine?
Hayate and Felicity: CIIIRCLETIIIIIIIINE!?!
Hayate: AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! *Turns on Corpse King and destroys a glass*
Shinsou: Get the milk and vinegar!
*Hayate and Felicity rush and get the ingredients, putting them on the table*
Shinsou: *Pours Circletine powder*
Philomel: *Opens door* Hey, gang!
Shinsou: CIIIRCLETIIIIIIIIIINE! *Chucks a glass*
Philomel: Nope. Not today. *Closes door and leaves*
Shinsou: Mix em together, kids!
Hayate and Felicity: *Mix ingredients* AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!
Shinsou: It's ready! Go tell grandpa.
*Grandpa Storm Veritas is reclining in the other room*
Hayate and Felicity: CIIIIIRCLETIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINE!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!
Storm Veritas: Whoa! Ahhh! *Starts lightning storm*
[Source: Circletine.]

[Flamebird]

[Gweneal x Felicity addition. I have no idea where most of these quotes are from.]

Felicity: THE PYTHAGOREAN ALGORITHM, YOU FOOLS!
Gwenael: Babe, calm down. It's just trivia night.

Felicity: I need coffee.
Gwenael: You shouldn’t be having more than three cups a day, and this is your fifth cup in the last two hours
Felicity: Just give me my coffee!

Felicity: [Flirts]
Gwenael: [Flirts back]
Felicity [Thinking to herself]: I was not expecting this outcome. What in the world do I do now??

Felicity: Everyone knows that Santa is an invention designed by the big five corporations to sell tinsel and video games to an unsuspecting public.
Gwenael: The whole “childhood wonder” stage just blew right past you, didn’t it?
Felicity: The normal “Childhood” thing blew by too.

Gwenael: Whoever invented gummy vitamins is my enemy. Very expensive candy that I can only have two pieces of per day! What am I being tested for?
Felicity : I've had 6 vitamins today, so I'm incredibly strong now basically, and I can destroy anyone. I'll go fight a Thayne to prove it.
Gwenael: Felicity, no.

Gwenael : Hey, I made some chocolate dessert; do you want some.
Felicity, who ate a giant slice of pecan coffee cake and 7 oreos: Yeah sure.

Felicity: Hey, how are you?
Gweneal: I would die for you.
Felicity:
Gweneal: I mean, I’m good how are you?

Am'aleh: I didn't think you were the type to lose your sanity for a girl.
Gweneal: I didn't either.

Gweneal: I heard you like bad boys. I’ll have you know, I’m bad at everything.
Felicity: Gwen… what??

Gweneal: I really shouldn’t have introduced Lassie to memes.
Shinsou: …Why?
Gweneal: Because-
Felicity: SOMe-
Gweneal: Oh Ethereal Sw-
Felicity: *KiCKs doOr DoWn*
B O D Y ONCE TOLD ME

Felicity: You’re only sick if you act like you’re sick. If you act like you’re healthy then you’ll be alright.
Gweneal: Felicity, you’re literally bleeding out right now.

Gweneal: Jomil gave me a get better soon card-
Felicity: Aw, that’s so sweet of her!
Gweneal: I wasn’t sick. She just thought I could do better.


[Day Seven of Quarantine:]
Felicity: Gwenael, can you go get something for dinner?
Gwenael: Absolutely not.
Felicity: Why?
Gwenael: I'm practicing good social distancing.
Felicity: But you can't even get sick!
Gwenael: I must be a good example for foolish humans like you.
Felicity: [Throws pillow] Jerk!

[Flamebird]

Storm: Hayate, are you here?
Hayate: [Raises hand]
Storm: Sorry. Didn't recognize you with your hair tied. Felicity, are you here?
Felicity: [Raises hand]
Storm: Didn’t recognize you with your shut mouth.
[ Source: Tumblr.]

Shinsou: Listen, son. In this world, it's either yeet or be yeeted.
Hayate: I'm literally begging you to stop.
[Source: Tumblr.]

Shinsou: Why are you here?
Storm: Couldn't live without you, I guess.
[Source: Tumblr.]

Felicity [Pointing sword at crowd gathering around her after saving them from Drexel] GET BACK, YOU SAVAGES!
Shinsou: Sorry, sorry! She's just not used to positive feedback!
[Source: Megamind.]

Storm: Shinsou’s not my best friend.
Arius: You mean Shinsou Vaan Osiris, the moron?
Storm: That's my best friend, you monster!
[Source: Tumblr.]

Storm: Your secrets are safe with me. I zoned out about thirty minutes ago.
[Source: Tumblr.]

Shinsou: Storm tells me I have a favorite apprentice and that's not true! I love Felicity's and not Felicity's equally!
Unknown.

[Flamebird]

Shinsou: *Comes back from hell with PTSD and anger issues*
Felicity: Welcome to my world!
[Source: a common IRL saying]

Shinsou: Can you pass the salt?
Felicity: I would, but I don't think Storm would appreciate being picked up.
Storm: ...
[Source: ???]

Felicity: I wish you could block people in real life.
Shinsou: Restraining order.
Storm: Murder.
[Source: ???]

Shinsou: Things I want: snuggles.
Shinsou: Things I receive: struggles.
[Source: Tumblr]

[Storm and Felicity are crying and hugging each other in fear]
Storm: Felicity, no matter what I said; I've always kinda liked you!
Felicity: Veritas, I used your staff to unclog my toilet!
[Source: Spongebob Squarepants.]

Felicity: *Playing ukelale* Hey! How you doing, I'm doing just fine, I lied, I'm dying inside!
[Source: Vine]

Felicity: [Knocks on door]
Storm: [Opens door]
Felicity: [Opens her mouth to speak]
Storm: Nope. Ain't happening. [Closes door]
[Source: VeggieTales in the House]

Shinsou: Guys, let me ask you a question. Can you two agree on anything?
Felicity: Yeah.
Storm: Not really.
Shinsou: Good to know.
[Source: ???]

Storm: Are you okay?
Shinsou: Yeah... why?
Storm: Because you asked the clerk at the store earlier if damage repair shampoo also works on emotions.
[Source: Tumblr.]

Shinsou: Great, Storm, you made Felicity cry!
Storm: Felicity cries all the time.
Felicity: [While bawling her eyes out] That's not true!
[Source: ???]

Felicity: That’s a mean question! I’m not answering that!
Shinsou: Come on, it’s just a question. If you had to punch someone in the Brotherhood - if you HAD to - who would you punch?
Felicity: I'm not answering that! We’re all friends, why would I punch anyone?
Shinsou: It would be Storm, wouldn’t it?
Felicity: Yeah, but I don’t know why.
[Source: Friends.]

Shinsou: [Aggressively brags about Storm to Storm.]
[Source: Tumblr.]

Storm, whispering: I don't like you.
Felicity, whispering: I'll get over it.
[Source: Modern Family.]

Storm: I've been experiencing this headache that comes and goes.
Felicity: [Walks in]
Storm: And it's back.
[Source: ???]

[Shinsou Vaan Osiris]

Storm: The most fundamental thing about sensitivity training is that you cannot make fun of a person for something or some action that they have done that they regret. You can only make fun of things that they have control over. Like Felicity, has PTSD. That is her choice. We can make fun of that. I did not choose to be an alcoholic.

Shinsou: Storm, you still can't make fun of people with mental health issues.

Storm: Who let—Who let the lemonhead into the room? You are a waste of life, and you should give up...is what I want to say, but I won't because that is why we're doing this right now. Shinsou, welcome to sensitivity training. For real.

[The US Office]

[Flamebird]

Storm: The most fundamental thing about sensitivity training is that you cannot make fun of a person for something or some action that they have done that they regret. You can only make fun of things that they have control over. Like Felicity, has PTSD. That is her choice. We can make fun of that. I did not choose to be an alcoholic.

Shinsou: Storm, you still can't make fun of people with mental health issues.

Storm: Who let—Who let the lemonhead into the room? You are a waste of life, and you should give up...is what I want to say, but I won't because that is why we're doing this right now. Shinsou, welcome to sensitivity training. For real.

[The US Office]

I love how we're all on board the "Storm and Felicity Hate Each Other" Train! Toot toot!

[Flamebird]

"I came out to attack people, and I’m honestly having such a good time right now." - Arius.
Tumblr.

Storm: General Rhyolite, you should act your age!
Felicity: I'm eighteen.
Storm: Oh Thayne...
Source: Tumblr.

Felicity: *Lowers weapon after almost killing someone* Hayate was right. Revenge only brings more pain in the world..
Shinsou: Felicity, you have learned a valuable lesson.
Shinsou: *Takes her weapon and raises it to kill the dude* BUT I HAVEN'T!
Source: The Adventures of Rocky and Bullwinkle.

Shinsou: Thank you all for coming to my Osiris talk.
Storm: Shinsou, for the last time, they don’t name it after the individual person!
Shinsou : Well, why should Ted get all the talks? *frowns*
Source: Tumblr.

"I'm good. I mean I haven't slept in 67 hours but I'm good." - Shinsou.
Tumblr.

Shinsou: What time is it?
Felicity: I don't know, let me check. *takes out a trombone and starts playing it*
Storm, yelling across Whitevale: WHO IS PLAYING THE TROMBONE AT THREE IN THE MORNING?!
Felicity: It's 3 am.
Tumblr.

"I’m alive, but only ironically." - Shinsou, after Unto the Cruel.
Tumblr.

Arius: I hate you.
Felicity: Meh.
Arius: I hate Shinsou.
Felicity: FIGHT ME!
Tumblr.

[Flamebird]

Storm: I licked it it's mine.
Shinsou: That's not a thing! Stop licking my stuff!
[RWBY Chibi.]

(Shinsou running a therapy session for Felicity)
Shinsou: What do we say when our feelings get hurt?
Felicity: ADD ITEM TO CART!
Shinsou: No.
[Facebook.]

Shinsou: I saw a garbage disposal that's rated for bones.
Storm: Like, what kind? Finger, femur, there's a big difference.
Shinsou: ...
Shinsou: ... Or chicken.
Storm: Ohhh, that's probably what they mean...
Shinsou: [Stares]
Storm: This is probably a "there's two different kinds of people" moment.
[Meme.]

Felicity: I am the definition of darkness.
Shinsou: You sleep with a fluffy dog plushie.
Felicity: Your point?
[???]

Kidnapper: (Over phone) We have your daughter.
Gwenael: I'm holding my daughter.
Kidnapper: (Getting frustrated) Then who just asked for chocolate milk in a straw and made us cut the crust off her PB&J?
Gwenael: Oh.
Kidnapper: What?
Gwenael: You have my wife.
[Meme.]

[Flamebird]

Felicity: If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands!
Hayate: [Silence]
Tumblr.

Hayate: Stop annoying me!
Rosie: You decided to adopt me. You're stuck with me.
Source: Missenell.

Hayate: What are the symptoms of teenage depression?
Felicity: Why are you asking me?
Hayate: Grell was doing laundry earlier and she dropped a sock and I heard her say ‘why have the Thayne forsaken me.’
Twitter.

Grell: Is this perfume or alcohol?
Hayate: [Grabs bottle and chugs whole thing]
Hayate: Perfume.
Tumblr.

Felicity: Now, Rosie. What do we say if someone asks you out?
Rosie: BEGONE THOT!!!
Felicity, tearing up: I'm so proud of you...
Tumblr.

Felicity: So this guy is giving me trouble.
Hayate: Then kill him.
Felicity: Wha-no!
Hayate: Then I'll kill him!
Felicity: Hayate, NO!
Tumblr.

Gwenael: Hayate, can you ask Felicity if she likes me?
Hayate: You guys are dating.
Gwenael: Yeah, but can you-
???

[Flamebird]

Felicity: I... don't have a family.
Storm: Nobody cares.
Element Animation.

Felicity: You spent $68 on hair conditioner?!
Rehtul: A small price to pay for self-esteem.
Arrested Development.

Felicity: If I hit myself and it hurts, am I strong or weak?
Shinsou: Strong.
Hayate: Weak.
Storm: Stupid.
YouTube.

[Texting]
Shinsou: Where are you?
Felicity: I'm driving home from Target.
Shinsou: Felicity.
Felicity: What?
Shinsou: You took me to Target with you.
Felicity: I'LL BE RIGHT THERE!
Facebook.

Felicity: *Listening to metal cover of Look What you Made me Do* "It's not a phase, Shinsou!"

[Shinsou Vaan Osiris]

Shinsou: “Would I rather be feared or loved? Easy. Both. I want people to be afraid of how much they love me.”

[Flamebird]

Leoric: *Looks in Felicity's general direction*
Felicity: BEGONE THOT!!!
Meme.

Leoric: Women are weak.
Felicity: I'm strong enough to carry your corpse through a forest.
???

"There are only four rules you need to remember: make the plan. execute the plan. expect the plan to go off the rails. throw away the plan." - Leoric.
The Flash.

Felicity: Well, I warned you.
Leoric: You did.
Felicity: But did you listen?
Leoric: No.
Felicity: Do you ever listen?
Leoric: No.
Felicity: Are you listening now?
Leoric: No.
Tumblr.

"We’ve all got weaknesses. Me, for instance. I’m tragically funny and good-looking." - Leoric.
The Mask of Athena.

Felicity: Quick! Hand me the rope!
Leoric: [Hands over noose]
Felicity: No! Not that rope! The rescue rope!
Rocky and Bullwinkle.

Leoric: I love it when you get angry-
Felicity: [glares]
Leoric: I meant at other people, not me…
Castle.

"When crows remember people who wronged them and hold grudges, it’s ‘intelligent’ and ‘really cool’ but when I do it I’m ‘petty’ and ‘need to move on’." - Leoric.
Tumblr.

Leoric: *Starts hitting on Felicity not knowing Shinsou is there*
Shinsou: Enpera-
Meme.

[Flamebird]

Leoric: Punch me in the face.
Felicity: Punch you?
Leoric: Yes, punch me in the face. Didn’t you hear me?
Felicity: I always hear ‘punch me in the face’ when you’re speaking, but it’s usually subtext.
Sherlock.

Felicity [Walking into the kitchen]: Is something burning?
Leoric [Leaning against the counter]: Just my desire for you.
Felicity: Leoric, the toaster is on fire.
Twitter.

Leoric: You need a hobby.
Felicity: I have a hobby.
Leoric: Being bitter is not a hobby.
???

Leoric: I know we’ve always had this unspoken rivalry.
Felicity: It’s not a rivalry, you’re just always mean to me.
Superstore.

Leoric: I think you're acting a little immature.
Felicity: I'm not acting.
West Wing.

"Crying helps me slow down and obsess over the weight of life’s problems." - Felicity.
Inside Out.

Felicity: That's ridiculous, Leoric doesn't have a crush on me.
Shinsou: Yes he does.
Storm: Yes he does.
Philomel: Yes he does.
Rehtul: Yes he does.
Attila the horse: Yes he does.
Leoric: Yes I do.
???

[Flamebird]

Shinsou: *Through his spirit sense feeling Felicity feel every negative emotion known to mankind intensely as she finds out that Whitevale is destroyed, thinks Shinsou is dead, gets severely drunk, sleeps with Leoric, regrets sleeping with Leoric, runs away, screams at Leoric while beating him to a bloody pulp, running away again, and contemplates yeeting herself off a cliff*
Shinsou: *High pitched and terrified* W H A T I S H A P P E N I N G !
[Cars 2]

Felicity: Stop talking down to me!
Leoric: I can't help it!
Leoric: You're so short!
[Meme]

Philomel: So what's it like dating Felicity?
Leoric: Once, I asked her to bring me a water while she was angry at me, and she brought me a glass full of ice and said "wait."
[Unknown]

Felicity: When I'm dead, just throw me in the trash.
[It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia]

Shinsou: Why don't you talk with Leoric?
Felicity: Nope. I'm gonna wait 'till I'm on my deathbed, get in the last word and then die immediately.
Shinsou: That's your plan for dealing with this?
Felicity: That's my plan for dealing with everything. I have seventy-seven arguments I'm going to win that way.
[Brooklyn 99]

Felicity: *Trips on air*
Leoric: Haha, you're so clumsy!
[Later when Felicity's not around]
Leoric, punching the air: Who do you think you are, who tHE FRICK DO YOU THINK-
[???]

Shinsou: I'm Felicity's emergency contact.
Nurse: So you're here to pick her up?
Shinsou: No, I'm here to be removed as her emergency contact.
[Community]

Felicity: Oh, random cat, why can't I find anyone who likes me?
Leoric: I mean, you're an incredible fighter and alchemist, and a lot of people think you're cute. Surely there's bound to be someone-
Felicity, pressing cat up to her face: Random cat, no one loves me!
[???]

Shinsou: I have never taken the high road.
Shinsou: I tell other people to because then there’s more room for me on the low road.
[Parks and Rec]

Felicity, rolling up to her therapist's office: What is UP my homeboy I missed you, hope ur ready to hear some of the steaming hot garbage that happened to me this week!
[Tumblr]

Philomel: It was a gift from my mother.
Felicity: Your mom gives pretty bad gifts. Although, on the other hand all my mom ever gave me was abandonment issues, so...
[Brooklyn 99]

Felicity: When you brush your teeth, you brush your skeleton.
Leoric: Felicity?
Felicity: Yeah?
Leoric: Go to sleep.
[Tumblr]

Storm to Felicity: Alright, let's tell each other a secret about ourselves.
Storm: I'll go first.
Storm: I hate you.
[Vine]

Felicity: I'm not jealous. I just get this weird burning feeling in my chest when I think about Leoric flirting with other girls.
Shinsou: Yeah, that's jealousy.
Austin and Ally.

Leoric: Felicity, it's six in the morning. Did someone glue you to the fridge?
Felicity: No...
Leoric: Felicity, did you glue yourself to the fridge?
Felicity: ...Yes.
[That 70's Show]

Felicity: What on the Thayne's green earth is wrong with you?
Leoric: Do you want me to go chronologically, or alphabetically?
[TFLN]

Shinsou: We need a plan!
Felicity: How about we weep uncontrollably?
[???]

[Flamebird]

Leoric: HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW THERE WOULD BE CONSEQUENCES FOR MY ACTIONS!
???

Drinking buddy: You keep hugging Felicity when she’s upset.
Drinking buddy: Next thing you know, she's going to fall in love with you. Is that what you want?
Leoric: [Scoffing] Is that what I want.
Another drinking buddy, loudly over the speaker: Yes.
Friends.

Leoric: Oh no, I ruined everything!
Narrator: He said with surprise in his voice, for some reason.
Tumblr.

Felicity: Shinsou, can you ask Leoric if he likes me?
Shinsou: You guys are dating.
Felicity: Yeah, but can you-
???

Felicity: You're an idiot.
Leoric: I'm your idiot.
Leoric: [Points at wedding ring] FOREVEEEER.
TBBT.

Leoric: [Walks by a reflective window]
Leoric: [Stops in his tracks, goes back to the window]
Leoric: [Does finger guns at his reflection]
Leoric: [Resumes walking]
Tumblr.

Leoric: I'm sorry for psychologically scarring you.
Felicity: Which time?
Supernatural.

Leoric: Are you hungry?
Felicity: No thank you.
Leoric: [Leans in] This is not an option.
Tumblr.

Leoric: What exactly is your plan?
Felicity: I told you! Save everyone and get home safely.
Leoric: That’s not a plan, that’s a wishlist.
Trolls.

Leoric: She knocked the smug look off my face, but luckily I was wearing a second, smaller smug look underneath.
Tumblr.

Shinsou: You're alive!
Felicity: Philosophically arguable, but physically... yes, I am.
Sense8.

[Flamebird]

Kidnapper: (Over phone) We have your daughter.
Leoric: I'm holding my daughter.
Kidnapper: (Getting frustrated) Then who just asked for chocolate milk in a straw and made us cut the crust off her PB&J?
Leoric: Oh.
Kidnapper: What?
Leoric: You have my wife.
[Meme.]

[Flamebird]

Felicity: Have you seen Leoric! He's the size of a dragon, he could throw me across a football field!
[Source: Moonkitti.]

Leoric: How are you, Rylie? Tell daddy all about it.
Rylie: I J U S T S A W Y O U R D E A T H .
[Source: Moonkitti.]

Leoric: Goodnight, Rylie!
Rylie: Goodnight!
Leoric: Goodnight, monster under the bed who eats misbehaving kids.
Felicity: *Through distorted speaker under bed* Goodnight.
[Source: ???]

[Flamebird]

Felicity: Name a more iconic duo than my crippling fear of abandonment and my anxiety. I'll wait.
Leoric: You and me!
Felicity, tearing up: Okay.
Incorrect Quote Generator.

Leoric: You love me, right, Felicity?
Felicity: Normally, I’d say yes without hesitation, but I feel like this is going somewhere and I don’t like it.
Incorrect Quote Generator.

Shinsou: Okay, truth or dare?
Felicity: Truth.
Shinsou: How many hours have you slept this week?
Felicity:
Felicity: ... Dare
Shinsou: Go to bed.
Felicity: I don’t like this game.
Incorrect Quote Generator.

Felicity: What if I press the brake and gas at the same time?
Leoric: The car takes a screenshot.
Shinsou: For the last time, get out.
Incorrect Quote Generator.

Leoric: Come on, I wasn’t that drunk last night.
Shinsou: You were flirting with Felicity.
Leoric: So what? She's my partner.
Shinsou: You asked her if she were single.
Leoric:
Shinsou: And then you cried when she said she wasn't.
Incorrect Quote Generator.

Felicity: Who thinks I can fit fifteen marshmallows in my mouth?
Shinsou: You’re a hazard to society
Leoric: And a coward. DO TWENTY.
Incorrect Quote Generator.

Leoric: In my defense, I was left unsupervised.
Shinsou: Wasn't Felicity with you?
Felicity: In my defense, I was also left unsupervised.
Incorrect Quote Generator.

Remy: What's a word thats a mix between 'sad' and 'mad'?
Shinsou: Disgruntled, miserable, desolated-
Felicity: Smad.
Incorrect Quote Generator.

Leoric, driving Kylie: So how was your day?
Kylie: I almost got surprise adopted!
Leoric: What?
Kylie: I almost got kidnapped.
Leoric: Oh, okay.
Leoric: *slams on the breaks* WAIT WHAT?!
Incorrect Quote Generator.

*Leoric and Kylie sitting in jail together*
Kylie: So who should we call?
Leoric: I’d call Felicity, but I feel safer in jail.
Incorrect Quote Generator.

Felicity: *Gets tortured*
Shinsou: Who did this to my daughter?
Felicity: Did you just call me your daughter?
Shinsou: Wait-
Felicity: You called me your daughter! No take backs!
Shinsou: Shut up, Felicity.
Leoric: Hey, don't talk to your daughter like that.
???

[Flamebird]

Leoric: Hey, Felicity!
Shinsou: What would you do if we died?
Felicity: It's funny that you guys think I would let you die.
Source: ???

Felicity: You read my diary?!
Remy: At first, I didn’t know it was your diary. I thought it was a very sad handwritten book.
Source: Bridesmaids

Felicity: Name one time I haven’t acted professional.
Shinsou: You’re holding a juice box right now.
Felicity: It’s to stop me from spilling my juice.
Source: Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Shinsou: Rules were made to be broken!
Felicity: Yeah, well, bodies weren't!
Source: Charmed

Felicity, at four in the morning: If you tear more holes in a net, it would end up having fewer.
Leoric, trying to sleep: STOP!
Source: Tumblr

Leoric: Do you like my outfit?
Felicity: Not as much as I like what's underneath it.
Leoric: Ohh, Felicity-
Felicity: -I need your chair. Get up.
Source: ???

Leoric: Surgery is just stabbing someone to life!
Adonis: Please, never become a surgeon.
Source: Tumblr

Leoric: [Kicks “G” off Graveyard sign]
Leoric: Let’s get this party started!
Source: Tumblr

Leoric: If I run and leap at Felicity, she'll catch me in her arms!
Leoric: [runs and leaps at Felicity]
Felicity: Wait! No! I'm holding coffee!
Felicity, [drops the coffee to catch Leoric]
Source: Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Leoric: I am at a loss for words!
Felicity, telling Shinsou later: Despite being lost for words, Leoric yelled at me for the next 45 minutes.
Source: Arrested Development

[Rehtul Orlouge]

Rehtul: If you can’t beat them, dress better than them

[Shinsou Vaan Osiris]

Shinsou: "Everyone thinks I'm a tyrannical dictator, in which case I'm fucked and nobody wants to work with me. Or they think I'm just faking being a good guy, in which case I'm fucked and nobody wants to work with me. Basically, I'm fucked."

[Flamebird]

Shinsou: "Nobody loves me."
Felicity: "Are you sure?"
Shinsou: "Yeah."
Felicity: [Pointing to herself] "Are you really sure??"

[Flamebird]

Felicity: "What's a sleep?"

Leoric: "How do you deal with trauma?"
Felicity: "I don't! I numb myself and eternally exist in denial limbo!"

Lye, using Sin Harvest to finish off Ashla: "What a waste..."
Ashla: "There is another."
Lye: "Who??"
Ashla: *dies*
Lye: "Ugh!"

Felicity: *Snaps from childish to violencebot in 0.03 seconds*
Leoric: "I may be dealing with a mentally unstable person..."

Leoric: "GET SOME SLEEP!"
Felicity: *Jumping on rooftop with coffee, jellybeans, and a wearing funny hat while hip hop plays at 3 in the morning* "NO!"
Kylie: "I hate this family..."

Shinsou: "Nobody loves me."
Felicity: "NOTICE ME SEMPAI!!!!!"

[Flamebird]

Leoric: I think you're still suffering the effects of your party last night.
Felicity: All I drank was Redbull!
Leoric: How many?
Felicity: Eighteen.
Source: NCIS.

Shinsou: I personally don't think it's possible to come up with a crazier plan.
Felicity: We could attack them with hummus.
Shinsou: I stand corrected.
Felicity: Just keeping things in perspective.
Source: Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

Felicity: I think I just figured something out. I got to go.
Leoric: Aren't you forgetting something?
Felicity: Uuh... [hesitantly kisses Leoric's forehead before running out.]
Leoric: No, pay your bill! Who raised you?
B99.

Lye: What's wrong with you?
Felicity: Off the top of my head, I'd say low self-esteem, a lack of paternal affection, and a genetic predisposition for anxiety and depression.
Source: Crazy Ex Girlfriend.

Leoric: Last night I found out Felicity is a sleep talker.
Lye: Oh, really?
Leoric: "The mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell." Right. In. My. Ear. At 3am.
Source: Unknown.

Leoric: I've lied to every girl I said "I love you" to. I thought I loved them but then I met you and realized I've never been in love before.
Felicity: Aw. I did not know that.
Leoric: Yeah, it was eating me up inside. So, I called them each individually and said "I never loved you."
Felicity: Okay, that seems unnecessary.
Source: New Girl.

Felicity: We're going mattress shopping.
Leoric: You know, once we get it, we'll have to break it in.
Felicity: Oh, I hear what you're saying. Mattress trampoline.
Leoric:
Felicity: Wait, no. You were talking about making love.
Source: B99.

Felicity: So, I'm going to grab a healthy breakfast.
Shinsou: Are those gummy bears wrapped in a fruit roll-up?
Felicity: Breakfast burrito, but yeah.
Shinsou: I pity your dentist.
Felicity: Joke's on you. I don't have a dentist.
Source: B99.

[Flamebird]

All of these are from an incorrect quotes template blog.

Leoric: I will fight the next person who insults my partner.
Felicity: I hate myself…
Leoric: Alright my beautiful flower, square up.

Felicity: WHOEVER CAUSED THIS MESS IS GOING TO-
Kylie: It was me…
Felicity: … Is going to be forgiven because everyone deserves a second chance.

Celandine: [eating a cinnamon roll]
Evian: Cannibalism.
Celandine: [confused chewing noises]

Rehtul: Hey Felicity, do you have any hobbies?
Felicity: Swimming..
Rehtul: Really? That’s cool. I never expected you to-
Felicity: In a pool of self hatred and regret.

Celandine: : What does “take out” mean?
Felicity: Food.
Shinsou: Dating.
Lye: Murder.
Leoric: It can be all three if you’re bold enough.

Felicity: Why is Kylie crying?
Leoric: She saw a leaf on the sidewalk and-
Kylie: IT LOOKED SO CRUNCHY!
Felicity: Please don’t say what I think you’re gonna say...
Kylie: AND WHEN I STEPPED ON IT THERE WAS NO CRUNCH!
Felicity: NO NOT THAT!

Leoric: I want to kiss you.
Felicity, not paying attention: What?
Leoric: I said if you die, I wont miss you.

Felicity: Ugh, the power went out.
Leoric: Don’t worry, I got this.
Leoric: *shakes rapidly and starts to light up*
Felicity: What-?
Leoric: I swallowed a glow stick!
Felicity, on the verge of tears: WHY WOULD YOU-

Felicity: Leoric is too tall for me to kiss him on the lips. what should I do?
Rehtul: Punch him in the stomach. then, when he doubles over in pain, kiss him.
Shinsou: Tackle him!
Hayate: Dump him.
Lye: Kick him in the shin!
Leoric: No to all of those! Just ask me to lean down!!

[Flamebird]

Felicity: "I am a grown up. Grown ups do not play."
Felicity: Gets on floor and plays with toy vehicles, pretends airplane is smashing into monster
Leoric: Walks in
Felicity: :D "Hey, Leoric! Wanna play!"
Leoric: -_-
[Looney Tunes Show]

Felicity: "Where are you going, dad?"
Shinsou: "Buying milk." Walks out and never comes back
[Meme]

Felicity: "The details are irrelevant just bail me out of jail!"
[?]

Felicity: I ask for snuggles.
Felicity: But all I receive are struggles.
[Meme]

Canen: What are you doing?
Felicity: Furiously writing on parchment Writing a spiteful hate filled letter to everyone I know!
Canen: That sounds healthy.
[Looney Tunes Show]

Felicity: I'm just like you! You're just like me! We live in constant agony! Life's really hard, and my tears are blue! Yes I am a girl like you!
[Barbie Princess and the Pauper, but with different lyrics]

Felicity: Canen! Wait, didn't you die?
Canen: Yeah, but I got better.
[Invader Zim]

Felicity, shouting at Leoric: WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE THE MAN IN THE RELATIONSHIP!?!
[Looney Tunes Show]