A Head's Up

About 6 months ago, my father in law was diagnosed with melanoma that had infested his ocular nerve. They removed his eye in order to prevent the spread. Last night, he sent us an email detailing his most recent diagnosis. The cancer has spread to his liver and lymph nodes. The largest of which is about the size of your hand atop his liver. The doctors need to run tests to give us any details on timeframe or severity. Traditional treatment has already been ruled out, but there are some gene therapy treatments that are new and have promising results. He plans to arrange a few meeting this and next week to begin the process. If they can map the genome specific to the tumor, there is a chance the therapy can put him in remission. There was one recent success of this with someone with his similar condition. Again, its success relies on the tests and mapping of the cancer's genetic make up.

My wife took took the news bad and was up most the the night trying to process it. She lost her mother to liver failure and a colon rupture no more than 4 years ago. She was 23 at the time. To me, he's been more of a father than my own who's been absent in my life since I was 13. Craig is a good man who doesn't deserve something like this.

I'm going to make an attempt to handle as business as usual. For all of you, I ask a bit of patience a little understanding if my mood is not ideal. I'll try to keep you up to date and I apologize for any inconvenience. I just wish to remain as transparent as possible should situations worsen. We've been told to remains optimistic. So, that's what we'll try to do.

my heart goes out to you and your beloved. That is some heavy news. We're all understanding you take your time and do what you need to do. Focus on what you need to the site, and its people can always wait.

Good grief, that's rough. Here's hoping that the gene therapy works.

Tell Jacque we're all rooting for him.

Many many hugs to you and yours. I would say take every bit of time you need. The Gisela can wait, so can many other things, what is important is you and your family. Cancer can be horrible, I think we can all completely empathise. Xx let us know if we can do anything.

Hopes and prayers for your family! Take all the time you need off-site. Real life is always more important.

Sending the good energy to you and yours. I'm here to offer support in any way I can.

Goes without saying that I'm a skype call away if you ever need me for anything, whether its a vent, a chat, whatever. My family has been rife with that bastard of a disease since about the 1950's and we've had to deal with it on a close personal level recently too so if you feel the need to talk anything through, i'm here mate.

Sending you huge love and the sincerest wishes your dad (he is) gets the best of it.

My best wishes and hopes go out to you and yours, Lye. That is beyond heavy to handle, and I know myself and many others here are around if shoulders are needed, or any other support is required. No worries about us here, please. Do what you have to do, and we are here for support however needed.

That's some scary harsh luck. I hope the gene therapy goes well for him. Don't worry about Althy, we can always wait, but I'm here to offer patpats if you feel you need 'em.

Cancer fucking sucks. I'm sorry Jack, and let Jacque know we're thinking about her. <3 Fingers crossed that the gene therapy is a success.

Yo Jack iRL always comes first. I'm sorry to hear someone that you care about so much is going through something so intense. Life can be really crazy at points. But yeah bro take the time you need to deal with everything and continue to be awesome. IRL always comes first yo.

So, Father in Law has confirmed stage 4. Severity and treatment options are still being discussed. Considered terminal under normal treatment.

An officer was gunned down in Denver Wednesday night and died on duty. He was my first ex's husband.

I have been fighting a severe viral infection in my sinuses for the past 5 days.

Needless to say, my life is currently fucked and it'll be a bit before I make some progress on Gisela. From what I recall, Kitsune needs to be reviewed for his changes and once he's approved brackets can be posted.

many hearts to you <3

Cancer is a bitch. Lost great people to it myself, including my father in law and grandfather. I think the term here is Jack, we all love you and take very good care of yourself, and loved ones. And take every ounce of time you need. Gisela ... Pfftt. It's dung for now.

Yeah bro I'm with Ailsa and Tiff here.

Take all the time you need bro!!! IRL always comes first, especially FAMILY. Family is important so take the time you need dood. If you need someone to talk to as well you got me on facebook so just hit me up there if you want bro and I'll chat with you whenever you want to. Feel better bro just do the best you can.

On March 11th, at 1:00PM, my father in law passed suddenly from advanced ocular melanoma. We arrived Saturday at 8PM and stayed with him until the end. I am not close with my immediate family due to disagreements in lifestyle choices and several other personal reasons. However, over the decade I've known my wife, I grew really close to her father. He was the man who helped me get a real career based job. He taught me humility, honesty, and strength of character. He showed me that personal happiness is not dependent upon public perception of you. He was a quirky fellow with two eyebrows that could have passed for a second and third mustache - a mustache that he was very proud of and you would never see him without it. He had many life experiences from raising rattlesnakes and vipers in pits, photos of roommates doing cocaine in the 80s, and a fashion sense when he was married only equivalent to porn stars of that time. He always, ALWAYS, kept a sense of humor and a wit so sharp it put razor blades to shame.

Craig was a good man. A loving father, and a selfless martyr even when his children called him worthless, terrible, or incapable of love. Even to the end, he showed them he cared despite never receiving an apology. He even made us smile while each breath caused him pain. He didn't deserve what he got. In November of 2017, he began retirement from his company that gave me my first job in industrial sales. In January 2018, that company was bought out under the strict condition he return to work for another three years to smooth out the transition. Per the president of this new company, he worked his hardest up until three days before he passed. He loved fishing, wood work, and his life partner after being widowed by his wife four years earlier. He never truly got the time and opportunity to enjoy those hobbies.

He is survived by my wife, another daughter, a son, and his life partner.

I would like to say I too will carry on his will. In one of his few moments of lucidity at the end, I'll never forget his firm grip with both hands, and a strong, but raspy "Take care of her". That memory will remain with me until the end.

After our time with him, we are looking at a potential opportunity to move across the street from where he used to live. I am hopeful in getting it. It would mean looking after his life partner as well as potentially working in his stead both at the company and resuming his woodwork in the shop. We have not yet made an offer, but if destiny permits, it would be a blessing in the darkness of his loss.

All in all, I am finally back to work. I am working with a few selected people in improving the Althanas experience and hope to be more active and present on the site. As some may have heard, Tony is passing the torch. So, I will do my best to serve this community and keep it going for the years to come. I apologize for my absence and thank you for your patience. Life is short, and I hope all of you would be kind enough to help me make the best of it with this place.

And thank you to all those who have listened to me in the last couple days. Your support is infinitely appreciated.

You know Im here if you need <3

So, I guess I'll open this back up since the wounds have had time to cauterize.

Last week, we committed to buying a property in Bend, Oregon. This is a 2acre plot of land across the street from where he used to live. We will be close to his life partner and her daughter who live across the street. The home is... dated, but the land is nice. Ideal even. We started showing our home and in one day, received 6 offers all over asking price. Tonight, we'll review those offers, accept one, and place an offer on the property we have out eyes in. Many factors seem to be working in our favor. Our agent is not only top in his company, but owns the firm he represents. The agent in Oregon has guaranteed us that no offer will supersede ours. We will get the first shot. The only thing that needs to be worked out for this to come to a neat close is work. In order for us to secure the loan, both Jacque and I need to have written guaranteed jobs in Oregon to support the loan. I'd like for my company to comply with a potential remote position to continue supporting their largest Denver client. Until then, I have been putting in resumes left and right. Only one place gave me an interview and immediately rejected me due to my inability to work ASAP.

I am still hopeful but heckin' stressed given that everything is in my name and riding on my employment to make this happen.

Best of luck mate in all of it. Finding jobs and homes are very difficult, and can cause stress. The fact that you have the potential to move in close to family sounds really amazing, best wishes in that and finding a new job.

It sounds like localized work is the last major obstacle to clear; best of luck! What is your line of work? I'd be happy to extend my network if it's of any value (I'm in plastics).

Same here, Storm. Plastics, metals, pumps, instrumentation, etc. I work for Ryan Herco Flow Solutions. Still seeing if my regional manager will entertain the idea of remote access. Supposed to get information on that today.

As for the weekend, we received a total of 12 offers on our house. Several of them were "strong" offers but every single one was over asking value. We are in a bidding war with the top two and hope to accept one today. We also drafted an offer letter for the property we want on Saturday to compete with another one that came in. The other offer was under the posted value. We came in at exact value with an earnest offer and health and safety only. We're supposed to get notified of acceptance or decline later today.

All in all, today is going to be super stressful. I hope for good results.

You're a trooper Lye, you'll pull through.

Though I thought Rev was just petrified of my writing skills and hadn't replied!

Accepting one today. Move out is roughly on 5/4/18. Leaving us three weeks to pack and get all this shit done. No word on other property. Nerves overclocked. Waiting for more info.

Also broke news to my mother and she lost her mind. Made it about her, that I don't care and rather be further away, that she's going to die alone. My little brother is trying to mediate the situation but is also telling me I'm wrong. More stress that's not needed and negatively impacting my relationship with my family. They should ideally be supportive. I'm not happy.

That's sad, but you're doing the right thing. We only get one life, make it yours. You know my email via the registry; look me up on LinkedIn and I'll see if there's a way to network you through if anyone I know can help you.

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Originally Posted by Lye

Accepting one today. Move out is roughly on 5/4/18. Leaving us three weeks to pack and get all this shit done. No word on other property. Nerves overclocked. Waiting for more info.

Also broke news to my mother and she lost her mind. Made it about her, that I don't care and rather be further away, that she's going to die alone. My little brother is trying to mediate the situation but is also telling me I'm wrong. More stress that's not needed and negatively impacting my relationship with my family. They should ideally be supportive. I'm not happy.

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I went through a very similar experience when I moved out of my dad's house and in with my now wife. It really took the shine off it all, made us feel like we were somehow stabbing him in the back when all he did was go on about how we just wanted to get out of his life, and didn't give a fuck about him. Work and life in general was hell with him for so long but we fought it, made it all our own and eventually he came round.

Time is a great healer. It's stressful as fuck, it causes diplomatic nightmares but eventually people get used to it and bridges get built again. Now my dad gets to see his grandkid and me every week, and everyone is happy, but by god that first year was torture.

If you want to talk it out, hit me up, and stay strong with your eyes on the prize.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Lye

Accepting one today. Move out is roughly on 5/4/18. Leaving us three weeks to pack and get all this shit done. No word on other property. Nerves overclocked. Waiting for more info.

Also broke news to my mother and she lost her mind. Made it about her, that I don't care and rather be further away, that she's going to die alone. My little brother is trying to mediate the situation but is also telling me I'm wrong. More stress that's not needed and negatively impacting my relationship with my family. They should ideally be supportive. I'm not happy.

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I went through a very similar experience when I moved out of my dad's house and in with my now wife. It really took the shine off it all, made us feel like we were somehow stabbing him in the back when all he did was go on about how we just wanted to get out of his life, and didn't give a fuck about him. Work and life in general was hell with him for so long but we fought it, made it all our own and eventually he came round.

Time is a great healer. It's stressful as fuck, it causes diplomatic nightmares but eventually people get used to it and bridges get built again. Now my dad gets to see his grandkid and me every week, and everyone is happy, but by god that first year was torture.

If you want to talk it out, hit me up, and stay strong with your eyes on the prize. This is your life buddy, tough decisions get made to further your life, but in the end you wade through the shit to get to a better place and I promise you there is light at the end of the tunnel. You'll look back at this in years to come and regret nothing.

Thanks for the advice guys. She isn't responding to me, but I suppose that's her decision. She's hurt and I shouldn't invalidate it. Just seems an awfully shallow and immature response to an otherwise mature and great opportunity.

Last night we entered a bidding war for the Oregon Property. We had to go higher but still only met previous offers. The one thing holding us back from a shoo-in is my employment status. I sent an email to my boss this morning with a deadline on the remote capability with fingers crossed. He said he's pushing for me to get it. I have until 3pm to get that information over or there's a chance we can lose the bid and the house. All this work was for that and I can't help but feel the universe wants to keep shitting on me. We lost Craig way too early and this home was a silver lining to that dark cloud - to be near him and still raise a family by him like we planned. But the day we put in an offer, two others swoop in and threaten to steal it. It's asinine. If that falls through, we have to back out of our sale and we're rooted.

Which will make my working situation super fucking awkward.

2018 needs to come through with this.

The decision to stay close to one family or another is always hard. Move to where is best for you and your wife, that is the family that is most important. And hey, if one set of family has to now drive further to meet you ... Well, holiday for them.

Take care of yourself and wife first and foremost. Many blessings and hopes that you get the property you want, I hope it goes well. As long as you are happy. Sorry that you didn't get the offer closer to your asking value; that's a little annoying. Here asking offers are often below what the owners actually want and it can be seriously confusing. The housing market can be brutal, but really hope you get the house you want, and deserve.

Hope the job comes through too.

Less than three weeks to move. Deadline for resignation is Friday if my company doesn't come through on the remote option. Both homes are under contract and in process. Inspection only turned back two critical points: a dead outlet and chimney cleaning. Appraisal is due sometime this week and should everything go well, that's it. Only loose end is the job and signing over utilities.

This week will be packing the house and finalizing repairs. Some moving company wanted 12,000 to move our stuff to Oregon. Twelve. Thousand.

Who pays that money?

Anywho, still busy, still job hunting, still thinking of Althanas. Hope to be back soon and busy tidying up the place.

$12,000!? Holy smokes! I presume the only people that would pay that are the people that make a big windfall on their house and are cash-drunk. Also, they need to be pretty loaded, since my version of "cash drunk" was splurging for a $1200 tile backsplash in our kitchen after a great bonus.

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Originally Posted by Lye

Less than three weeks to move. Deadline for resignation is Friday if my company doesn't come through on the remote option. Both homes are under contract and in process. Inspection only turned back two critical points: a dead outlet and chimney cleaning. Appraisal is due sometime this week and should everything go well, that's it. Only loose end is the job and signing over utilities.

This week will be packing the house and finalizing repairs. Some moving company wanted 12,000 to move our stuff to Oregon. Twelve. Thousand.

Who pays that money?

Anywho, still busy, still job hunting, still thinking of Althanas. Hope to be back soon and busy tidying up the place.

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F*cking hell! Who was this outfit, SpaceX?! For that money I'd want Elon Musk to move my shit via rocket.

Update:

I am still on the job hunt a month later. My company was recently bought into a merger and while still not giving me a direct answer, they are likely not permitting me to work remotely. My home closes on the 4th of May and our house is only 50% packed. We will be driving ourselves to Oregon to save on ridiculous moving costs. We then have from the 7th to the 23rd to find a job before we close or the loan falls through and we're homeless. To have come so far and still have it out of reach is incredibly frustrating. I don't suppose any of you know of a work from home program that isn't a total scam?

In short, unless I secure a job in Oregon, I will be exceedingly sparse for about another month or indefinitely if the loan falls through. Hand tight Althanas. I promise to get things updated and rejuvenated here one way or another.

To my staff: Thanks for keeping the fire burning. I appreciate all of your work. Please feel free to reach out to me if you'd like some additional tasks to get the ball rolling on the updates.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Lye

Update:

I am still on the job hunt a month later. My company was recently bought into a merger and while still not giving me a direct answer, they are likely not permitting me to work remotely. My home closes on the 4th of May and our house is only 50% packed. We will be driving ourselves to Oregon to save on ridiculous moving costs. We then have from the 7th to the 23rd to find a job before we close or the loan falls through and we're homeless. To have come so far and still have it out of reach is incredibly frustrating. I don't suppose any of you know of a work from home program that isn't a total scam?

In short, unless I secure a job in Oregon, I will be exceedingly sparse for about another month or indefinitely if the loan falls through. Hand tight Althanas. I promise to get things updated and rejuvenated here one way or another.

To my staff: Thanks for keeping the fire burning. I appreciate all of your work. Please feel free to reach out to me if you'd like some additional tasks to get the ball rolling on the updates.

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Best of luck mate. Goes without saying but I sincerely hope you get yourself sorted. Stay optimistic and keep your head up lad.

Hope things work out well!

Hoping for the best for you here. Stay optimistic and embrace the stress.

Update: Still no job but about a half dozen interviews when we get in on Monday.

I did receive a much needed call from the realtor in Bend, and she is extending to us a pre-occupancy agreement. Meaning, we can move into the home right away but have to pay rent. That's completely acceptable for us and much needed considering the slew of alternative we needed to arrange once we got there. On top of that, the seller is willing to extend our close to whatever date necessary to help us facilitate our loan's needs once we get jobs. Meaning, we have the option of more time to get a job if we're unsuccessful the two weeks before the original close date. There also was an offer that came in after she accepted ours that was better, but she declined it and is willing to work with us to get the house. A total blessing.

So we're not completely out of the woods, but at least we have a candle in the darkness. There's still a lot to arrange with packing, cleaning, moving, etc, but the fear of being homeless is not as prevalent.

I hope you traverse through the darkness along the shortest path, Lye. You and yours are in my prayers.

I'm looking forward to the day you return to the quill. That will be a happy day indeed.

Best luck on the job!!! :)

Long overdue update:

I now work as a “Specialist” for Verizon Wireless. We have since settled into our home and have about 1/2 of our boxes moved in. We had new floors put in, new sinks, new toilets, and fresh paint. I still have a list as long as my arm to catch up on if I ever hope of this place looking decent. Since we lost the best man I ever knew, we have been able to move on. I now kayak from time to time when I need to reconnect with myself, and have found love for chopping wood for our wood stove in winter. Last week was my wife’s birthday and we drove 4 hours into Portland to get her Costa Vida, her favorite, and check out the zoo. On our return, we found water damage under our new flooring in the master bath. A plumber is scheduled for tomorrow at 8AM.

I want to apologize for my absence and realize that it has caused a stagnation. I had many desires and opportunities to return, but never found it to be the right time. Finally, I believe I have found the right time and will make every effort I can to contribute and revive the site. I am on board and willing to take on tasks again. I have some catching up to do on the Featured Quest and need to re-learn some of the back end processes we changed prior to my absence. I’m open to feedback if you have any.

I also want to sincerely thank those that stayed the course and hung around despite how quiet the site got. Please help me by continuing your support.

Lastly, keep writing. This site is rich in history and is made for writers. I never want to see it die.

Hey Lye!!!

We should probably have a discussion on the future of the site as I have been running it for a few months now more or less (with Dirks as owner/overseer). I was always going to be caretaker for your return (ta da!). I still have a few ideas I was thinking of implementing.

Overall your return is coming at the perfect time as I ascend into motherhood. I still am aiming to make time for Althanas, and would like to remain an admin. But can discuss this with you privately?

Glad everything is sorting out for you. My sister also loves kayaking and her and her new husband do it a lot. Sorry we missed each other in USA.

Ailsa