I will get some of my dad's bad ones up here. For now, here's one of his I remember:
A man was making a film about people snapping a pencil harshly.
He was arrested for scenes of graphite violence.
He was arr
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I will get some of my dad's bad ones up here. For now, here's one of his I remember:
A man was making a film about people snapping a pencil harshly.
He was arrested for scenes of graphite violence.
He was arr
Once upon a time, there were three kingdoms, all bordering on the same lake. For centuries, these kingdoms had fought over an island in the middle of that lake. One day, they decided to end it, once and for all.
The first kingdom sent an army of 25 knights, each with three squires. The night before the battle, the knights jousted and cavorted as their squires polished armor, cooked food, and sharpened weapons. The second kingdom was not so wealthy, and sent only 10 knights, each with 2 squires. The night before the battle, the knights cavorted and sharpened their weapons as the squires polished armor and prepared dinner. The third kingdom was very poor, and only sent one elderly knight with his sole squire. The night before the battle, the knight sharpened his weapon, while the squire, using a looped rope, slung a soup pot high over the fire to cook while he prepared the knight's armor.
The next day, the battle began. All the knights of the first two kingdoms had cavorted a bit too much (one should never cavort while sharpening weapons and jousting) and could not fight. The squire of the third kingdom could not rouse the elderly knight in time for combat. So, in the absence of the knights, the all the squires fought.
The battle raged well into the late hours, but when the dust finally settled, a single survivor limped from the carnage. The lone squire from the third kingdom dragged himself away, bloodied, but victorious.
What I mean to say, is that the squire of the high pot and noose is equal to the sum of the squires of the other two sides.
Math jokes, folks. We're getting sophisticated up here.
Better bring the levels down.
Three guys walk into a bar.
Ouch.
What does Trump’s hair and a Tulum thong have in common?
They both barely cover the asshole.
What did The Donald yell when his Mexican houseboy tried to put out a fire in Trump Tower using the wrong extinguisher?
No way, Hose A!
A man's wife hits him across the head.
He says "What's that for?"
She says "I found a piece of paper in your pocket with Sexy Sarah written on it".
Quick as a flash he says "That's the name of a horse I bet on today, you silly cow"
She apologizes.
A week later she hits him with a frying pan!
He says, "What the fuck was that for?".
She replies. "Your horse phoned!
A man was looking at a wall of jars. he said "Trying to find what you want in all of this is a real pickle." He then snapped back and said, "That line was real jarring."