Cornelius! Magi Most Magnificent [Solo]

The outside patio of the small café was adorned with tan bricked flooring and metallic rounded tables, each table possessing exactly four maroon wooden chairs. Coffee and pastries were whisked out of the business quickly in the early morning and by now it was late enough in the day to simply be a gathering point for a few of the lazier residents. Still, the smell of roasted coffee beans filled the air and mugs continued to clatter upon saucers.

“Excusez moi,” a gentleman in a feathered cap intruded, “what have you heard of the world famous Magi Magnifique?”

Sipping from their coffee the two women looked at the finely dressed intruded. Startled and confused one of the women answered, “like, I have no clue who you’re talking about.”

Clearly disappointed the man rubbed his brown mustache and adjusted his cap before puffing our his chest. They were in for a real treat, he began telling the tale, “see, this is an epic story of adventure and brav-“

“Could you, um, leave us alone,” the other woman cut in.

Defeated, the man complied. Once he made it back to a nearby alleyway a short gnome presented himself from behind a supply crate. The gnome was light brown in complexion, he had just a few stringy hairs and only on the left side of his head. The bald part of his head was scarred and burnt, likely the result of torture or an accident. The gnome dressed in royal blue overalls, sandals, and accessorized himself with a green sack on his back. The gnome posed a question, “boss, how’d it go? You make new fans?”

“...no, it was terrible,” he stated in defeat. Removing the feathered cap and unbuttoning a slip revealed his ‘fine’ clothes were fake. He stood before the gnome in a faded violet cape and dark leather clothes. His hair was receding a bit. Wiping back tears he gave his impassioned speech, “Snappy, you’ve been a wonderful sidekick but this sad excuse for a city doesn’t appreciate the hero who’s here to protect them. They don’t understand that I am the reason they sleep soundly at night. I am the reason crime does not overflow our streets! Snappy, stop picking your nose. Look at at me! Read my lips. I am the hero this city does not deserve.”

With pointer finger afloat the small gnome, Snappy, looked right and then left. As his eyes arose to once again meet his boss’s he replied honestly, “maybe they don’t know because we ain’t really done much yet...” Snappy recognized that this answer would not be received well and he quickly corrected, “its like that sayin’ right? Dunno what you got til it’s gone!”

By god he was right. The human cleared his throat and stated, “yes, that must be it! Though you be small and weak and smell like old cheese you are quite wise my dear friend!” Proud of himself for the glowing praise and knowing that tonight the pair would bring safety to the citizens of their fair city he yelled in excitement, “I am Cornelius, the Magi Magnifique! Villains shall tremble before me!” He donned his navy mask, grabbed ahold of his cloak, and raced off with Snappy fast on his heels.

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They had detoured into this city after their latest escapade. Following the trials they suffered at the meteorite the dark elven pair, Yvonne and Lilly, were stopping at this Alerian-Raiaeran border town for a bit of R&R.

Lilly had grown to deeply cherish the smaller half elf. Initially she viewed her friend as a compact dark elf but she was beginning to accept the dwarven part of her. Numerous times Lilthis battled with this dichotomy. Did this mean she was beginning to treat all dwarves as equals or just Yvonne? Oh well.

Her dwarf-elf companion had gone into a shop and insisted that Lilly wait at exactly the spot she was stood. Two blocks from a coffee shop which irradiated the delicious scent of freshly roasted coffee beans. The full blood did not believe the mixed blood had done this to purposely torture Lilly, though if she had it worked wondrously.

Suddenly the dark elf’s craving for caffeine was interrupted by a shout, “I am Cornelius, the Magi Magnifique! Villains shall tremble before me!”

A Magi? Here? Lilly needed to know how far his skill extended. Her hybrid friend’s abilities were truly impressive but Lilthis wanted to run recent theories and findings by an expert sorcerer. She figured her halfling companion would be a bit longer anyway. The slender elf darted off in the direction of the shout, moving fast enough to leave dust in her wake.

No sooner after Lilly receded from eyesight the half-dwarf emerged, “aye Lilly, what do ya feel abo-,” slightly confused and annoyed Yvonne thought aloud, “I told ‘er to wait right here.”

Swerving between merchant carts, food stalls, and wagons was the caped wonder. Right behind him, the trusty gnome he called Snappy. This small gnome’s true name was too difficult for Cornelius to pronounce and he had decided that ‘Snappy’ was a perfectly fine replacement for ‘Snipairiwt’ar.’

“Stay close Snappy, no telling what vile creatures are roaming these foul streets,” was the command issued. It was broad daylight, the street was primarily filled with honest peddlers and mothers with their children. The pathways in this part of the city were of white mortar, coated with tan, earthen red, and brown stones. These paths twisted and turned with homes and shops surrounding the roads. Cornelius often cut between the alleyways, believing it made his image more mysterious as onlookers would catch only a glimpse of the Magi.

He turned a corner, sped down the alley, Snappy’s stubby legs struggling to keep up. One more shortcut between buildings, a quick turn and then he co-

Oof!

Without warning Lilly had the air knocked from her lungs and was doubled over from the impact. Some grown man in pajamas was dashing around the city and had crashed into the young woman. At the same time Cornelius fell back, equally winded from the collision.

“Owww,” the dark elf groaned, rubbing just under her breasts which had taken the brunt of the impact. She sat up on her side to get a look at the oddly dressed masked man. With fury she questioned, “why are you charging through the streets!? That really hurt! You could at least apologize!”

His eyes watered but he dare not cry in front of a civilian. He would persevere through the pain of tumbling into a thin dark elven girl. Jumping to his feet he declared with heroic elegance, “My fair lady, evil does not wait for its conqueror to casually walk over. No! Evil requires a warrior who runs to face it head on!” As Snappy was entering the scene, bent over and out of breath, Cornelius continued, “I am sorry that we collided. My body has been tempered in the fires of truth and justice so I am sure you are in horrible pain. Allow the Magnificent Magi himself to assist you in standing. Nay! You are probably incapable of walking after the damage I’ve inflicted. I shall carry you back to your home!”

Bending over the masked vigilante scooped one arm under Lilly’s knees and supported lower back with his other arm. He lifted the woman up to his chest. Almost instantly he realized his mistake as his knees began to buckle and breath escaped him, “b-be calm fair m-maiden,” *huff*, “I s-shall get you to...”

“Put me the hell down right this instant!!!”

Lilly’s scream startled the masked man and his tiny sidekick. Cornelius’ left arm dipped quickly and allowed the Alerian’s feet to land harshly onto the stone street. She felt a bit violated by the odd man’s sudden ‘help’ but was willing to overlook it as he had just indicated he was in fact the Magi she had ran out to see.

“Miss, I apologize if my strength frightened you. My powers can overwhelm some,” before he could continue his sidekick offered, “boss I think she just didn’t wanna he carried.” Lilly nodded as Cornelius shot the gnome a look of disdain. Returning his focus to the lovely elf before him he said, “my intention is simply to help a lady in need.”

Then, the hero snapped his fingers and outstretched an open hand towards Snappy, wiggling his fingers in anticipation. The dependable sidekick rustled through his sack before filling the hero’s hand. As quickly as he had snapped Cornelius whipped his arm around to present the gift to lithe elf, “for you ma’am, something to compliment your beauty.”

Lilly stared at the leather whip in the strange man’s hand. Unsure if she should laugh or run. Cornelius raised slightly from his bow to look at what he was giving to the dark elf. Embarrassed and angry he moved the whip behind him and faced Snappy, “we’ve been over this, you’re supposed to place a rose in my hand! Or at least a tulip or lily or something!”

Snappy was quick, honestly answering, “boss, you do this routine for every gal you meet, we’re fresh outta flowers.”

Lilly was starting to wonder how skilled this Magi actually was.

“Look, I’m not here for a date,” the charcoal skinned woman assured him. “You’re a great Magi? Is that correct?”

Proud that his reputation had proceeded him Cornelius chuckled, “ha! My dear! I am the most skilled wielder of magic in all of Althanas! Snappy, demonstration time!” The imp ran directly in front of his master, the small gnome’s head level with the masked magician’s waist. Snappy grabbed something out of his pocket and flung it down with great force. It caused a flash of cloud, dash of smoke, and a cracking sound. Now the gnome was waving his hands back and forth and creating a drum roll effect by rolling his tongue and forming his mouth into an “O” shape.

“I am Cornelius the Magi Magnifique! I am the bane of evil. The nightmare of misdoers and ne’er-do-wells! This city sleeps in peace because I destroy the rooster of crime before it crows,” by this point Cornelius was staring directly up into the sky with hands balled into fists along his hips. Snappy was starting to run low on oxygen from his drum roll.

As his introduction was concluded the masked hero looked back at his dark elf admirer, “what do you seek from a sorcerer of my talents?”

Lilly wasn’t sure where to start. There was her new friend Yvonne and her hypothesis of how her magic may work. The magics surrounding the meteorite they had just returned from. She also had a theory relating to whether calming spells were psychological or physiological. Possibly both? Finally there was that... dark gem and her brush with death. She probably would not discuss that with anyone for a very long time.

Lilly decided to start with the halfling, “well I have a friend who is beginning to ‘unlock’ latent magical abilities. It appears to mostly come around when they interact with a magical focus and the nature of her magic tends to match the same um... ‘style’ of magic of the focus. Have you ever encountered something like this? Is there a way to ease her into these talents more... consistently?” The round faced elf noticed the crusader had begun to nod off.

Once she was finished speaking the Magi snickered, “aha, you sure do speak a lot and deeply for a lass!” Lilly’s annoyance was laid bare across her face. Ignorant of his sexism the hero pressed on, “I took to magic as a duck to water, a swan to beauty, or an ostrich to flight,”

Snappy raised a slim finger and added, “um boss, uh, ostriches can’t,” but he was cut off as Cornelius continued, “so no my lovely, I do not know that I can help you on this inquiry!” Twirling a finger on his mustache and sliding his mask up slightly to adjust the sweat forming on his face he offered, “but I cannot send such a huge admirer of my work home empty handed. You are clearly keenly interested in magic. How about a demonstration of my talents at the Magnifique Dojo? It’s a state of the art facility where Althanas’ foremost crime fighting duo train. Isn’t that right Snappy?”

The gnome nodded his head while his shoulders shrugged. The mixed message was lost on the naive Lilly.

Maybe this magician was the real deal. She should probably go back and grab Yvonne very quickly, she didn’t want to make her worry. Lilly requested of the pair, “do you mind if I go tell my friend? I don’t want to keep her waiti-“

Before she could finish Cornelius interrupted, “truth waits for no one m’dear. We must leave now.”

Defeated the dark elf shrugged and accompanied the crime fighters. Hopefully this would not take very long. She was already trying to figure out how to explain her disappearance to Yvonne. Poor Yvonne will be so worried. Or more likely so very pissed off...

Three pairs of feet descended upon the pavement. As the streets wound the homes became more rundown, paving more cracked, and smells more foul. The usual stroll from a high class neighborhood into a slum. Lilly pulled part of her cloak up around her nose and mouth, attempting to cease some of the rancid odors emanating from the forsaken ones who lived in this anguish. Lightening the mood was the gnome’s pitter-pattering footsteps as he attempted to keep pace with the two taller beings.

“Our training dojo is just around this bend,” Cornelius offered, much to the relief of his tiny companion.

Once the trio turned the corner they found themselves in an empty lot, surrounded by vacated buildings. The lot was carpeted with dirt and dust, the occasional sprinkling of broken glass, and a few wooden posts with crudely put together sacks atop them. The dark elf had prepared for something far more impressive than whatever this was.

Sprinting ahead the Magi got around fifty paces out before twirling on his heel and declaring, “my fair elven lady, marvel at our exquisite studio of mettle!” Pretending to cast a spell the grand magus threw shards of glass into the air while shouting, “magic tragic, spellos tell us,” pieces of glass now returned to the earth as Cornelius’ arms flailed about.

Snappy performed his best imitation of a fainting child. Lilly braced herself for the impending spell. The magician was full of himself, grinning wide he yelled, “prepare yourself for a demonstration beyond comprehension!”

“FOREVER TORRENT OF THE ENDLESS CLOUD!”, it seemed as if the mage believed the louder you spoke, the more magical you became. As his command ended a small dark cloud appeared over the tinkering elf’s head. Several rain drops fell from the cloud. Lilthis was somewhat wet and then the cloud dissipated. Standing there, dripping wet, the young woman turned her attention to the magi and erupted, “what was that!? That is one of your great spells? You just got me soaking wet!”

Two dark skinned hands clasp tightly to wet fabric and twisted as Lillian attempted to squeeze out the unwelcome moisture. Her attacker narrowed his gaze and issued a stern warning, “my dear, that is but a taste of my power! Soon you will be fortunate enough to see,” with a wisp of his cape and a twirl of his arm the man spun around before saluting to the younger elf, “my full power.”

Cornelius winked. Lilly grimaced.

Droplets of water stained the coarse dirt directly underneath the dark elf. Covered in the results of the ‘marvelous’ spell that the so-called great wizard had performed. The artificial rain coated her black skin, causing it to glisten as it reflected the light of day. Then Cornelius threw back his cape and boisterously exclaimed, “time for me to dry you off my dear!”

Lilly placed a hand on her dagger, anticipating this stranger to try something uncouth. Instead, the magician leaned backwards and twisted his fingers around in an odd fashion before slamming both of his hands flat together in front of himself. His arms joined as one and his hands sat atop each another, giving the appearance of a swan’s head. He grew ever louder as he incanted his next feat of magic, “ETERNAL FLAME OF THE ANCIENT DRAGON’S BREATH OF UNDYING VENGEANCE AND UNFORGIVING TORMENT!!!”

This sorcerer truly liked shouting about things that were old. He raised his upper hand and lowered the one underneath, forming an open mouth that gave life to a small ball of flame. Slowly the fireball inched towards Lilly. It was on its way towards her and she debated moving out of the way but was curious what effect it would have on her. The pace of the orb was slow enough that if it burned too hot she could easily side step it at the last moment. By this point the conflagration was about halfway towards her.

It kept coming. A bit further. As it eventually meandered its way through the air to be directly in front of Lilthis it expanded and surrounded her. There was a minor burning sensation but it was about as hot as a cooled hearth. The intensity of the pyre was not even enough to fully dry the young woman off before it vanished.

Snappy jumped to his feet, fully recovered from his fake bout of fainting, and gave a vigorous applause. The tiny gnome’s appetite for more nearly convinced Lilly that she had missed out on a great trick. Nearly. The clever elf was certain now that the man before her was a fraud. Though the motive for his magical misrepresentation was currently lost on her. Perhaps he was out for money or something? Who knows, but the hot-headed woman was now beyond her limit. She couldn’t believe she had allowed this faker to waste her time like this.

“Enough!” the skinny dark elf shouted. With both fists clenched and hanging right by her hips she demanded, “who do you think you are?! What kind of crime fighting mage uses rain clouds and hot air to combat the criminal element?! You’re nothing more than a fraud!”

What was this freak’s game? His modus operandi? It didn’t make any sense. Was it all just some act to impress the gnome? Or perhaps this ‘mage’ was so enthralled by delusions of grandeur that he truly believed himself a grand magician. Absolute waste of her time no matter the conclusion.

Cornelius looked perplexed. He had used all of his most impressive spells and the girl in front of him was unamused. Calling him a fraud. Luckily the ever helpful Snappy jumped in to save his ego.

With a defensive boast the gnome spat, “girl don’t need to be jealous!”

Puffing out his chest and raising his proud head the mage flexed his chest a bit. There wasn’t much muscle to flex. He was mostly flab and Lilly was certainly not impressed. But that didn’t stop the magi from leaning forward and bracing his elbow onto the top of his leg. Proud and filled with determination the crime stopper grazed his chin with the flick of his thumb.

Arrogantly he stated, “now Snappy, dear Snappy, can you blame this poor lass for her jealousy?” Adjusting his doublet he proceeded, “from Dheathain to Salvar, from Raiaera to Corone, there are no wizards with even a fourth of my talent!” Cornelius raised one eyebrow as he stated intently upon his impish ally and questioned, “shall we break out the big guns?”

Snappy shivered and reluctantly answered, “may be only way she believes you are real deal boss!”

“Very well girl, heh,” the masked magician chuckled a bit before giving out a proclamation, “stay very still or I could mess up, wouldn’t wanna scar that lovely face of yours.”

Cornelius extended both arms outwards from body. Pointing both index fingers away from himself he raised one leg into the air and pointed the opposing foot on tip toes. He started violently spinning, twirling around and around. It was the opposite of elegance. It was embarrassing, he looked like he may fall at any minute. The mage took constant beaks in his rotation, stopping to drop the raised leg down to regain balance before lifting it again and resuming his spin cycle. All the while Snappy was oooing and ahhing.

Instantly the sorcerer ceased his movement. He brought both of his pointer fingers together, facing them directly at Lilthis. Loudly he declared, “ZEUS, LEND ME YOUR BOLT OF NEVER STOPPING DREAM LIGHTNING, ZEUS!!! AHHHHHH!!!!”

He was basically just screaming at this point. The ebony elf began to walk away, she didn’t care what the result of his newest incantation was.

With back turned, legs striding forwards, and a mind fully engaged in anger the young dark elf was taking her leave. As boots clamored upon dirt she had an opportunity to glimpse up at the waning sun. It was starting to get late and her shorter companion was surely worried about the taller’s well being. How would Lilly explain this away? “Oh, sorry Yvonne, a strange man and his equally strange sidekick convinced me he was a master sorcerer so I followed them to a two-bit sideshow only to realize I was being conned,” yeah... that would go over real well.

Just then the screaming from the deranged mage ended. The air was hot. A crackling sound emerged and the inventive elf turned around just in time to see a bright pink lightning bolt traveling directly at her. She didn’t have time to brace herself or panic or really react at all. The narrowest point of the energy whipped into her knocking her flat into the ground and causing her to become completely disoriented. Everything went dark as waking moments slipped away from her.

Charred eyelids pierced open revealing delicate pale blue eyes. Through blurred vision the elf saw a pure white ceiling. No scratches, no color, and no indentations. Just white. Simple and smooth, white. To her right and left walls of white. The bed she lied in? White. The smooth glossy flooring? White. She had just been leaving an incredibly sketchy back alley loon behind her and now she was in some pristine white prison. Rising form the bed her small feet touched the floor.

Odd. Her toes had gone numb.

As the rest of her body attempted to join her feet pain seized itself upon her legs. Traveling upwards towards her stomach, through her chest, and into her shoulder blades. A terse and high pitched squeal escaped her dark lips as she whimpered through the pain. Her body collapsed unto the floor, unable to bear the pain of standing.

A voice resounded, “best not to move girl. You’re his latest victim I’m afraid.”

Startled eyes focused towards the source of the booming voice. In the wall before her was the outline of a face. Lips pursed together, empty slots where eyeballs should be, and a furrowing brow. The face was unnatural. Appearing to be part of the wall itself. Its mouth opened again, readying itself for a further explanation.

“Do not fear, it’s too straining on him to keep more than just me here,” there was a tinge of sadness to his voice but he continued all the same, “You’ll be rid of this place soon. I do not know what awful things are being done to your physical self while your consciousness is trapped here but he doesn’t keep the girls for long.“

The young woman shuddered at that thought. Why had she trusted that strange mage? What was going on? Her ‘physical self’ made no sense, she was right here! Lilly reasoned that she must be dreaming. Fingers pricked, pinched, and prodded at black flesh but her body refused to awaken. This was a living nightmare.

“Hurry Snappy! Tie her tightly,” Cornelius urged of his miniature sidekick. They only had so much time.

Lilly’s shell of a body was strapped to a wooden slab leaned against the stone wall of the Magi’s empty lot. The disturbed sorcerer inched closer to the maiden’s defenseless body.

Snappy chimed in, “boss, why do we need to even do this part?”

The famed wizard was annoyed. He had explained it a dozen times already. Still, Snappy was a faithful servant. He could explain it to him once more.

“Any hero can save a damsel, only a legendary hero saves the most beautiful damsel,” he said determinedly.

Cornelius moved his body closer to the young dark elf, soaking in her natural beauty while framing his mind’s ideal onto her. Without his help, his artistic prowess, she could be so pretty. But once he got to work, once he poured his craft upon her lithe figure, she would become a goddess. Bards from as far away as Dheathain would sing ballads of Cornelius and his darling drow he had saved from some danger.

“Give it to me,” the mage commanded of his subservient gnome.

Snappy handed his impatient employer a small red vial. Protruding from the top was a narrow handle that appeared to descend inside of the liquid within the glass vial. Glee spread across Cornelius’ twisted face as he eyed up the lovely young woman once more. Stirring the handle around to ensure he got plenty of the thick liquid gel prepared. He lifted the stick out of the jar, brandishing a brush end covered in the red substance. The magic wonder circled the brush around the rim of the vial, ensuring very little of the red liquid would spill.

He took the girl’s thin left hand into his palm and began painting her fingernails with the red gloss. One finger after another before continuing to the elf’s right hand.

Snappy brought blush, eye shadow, lipstick, and rollers so that Cornelius could curl the dark elf’s flowing white hair. Toiling for nearly an hour Lilly emerged dolled up with a heavy coat of makeup upon her face and tightly curled alabaster locks atop her head.

Phase one was finished. Cornelius and Snappy prepared themselves for phase two.