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  1. #11
    Legend

    EXP: 127,650, Level: 15
    Level completed: 55%, EXP required for next Level: 7,350
    Level completed: 55%,
    EXP required for next Level: 7,350


    Philomel's Avatar

    GP
    14,025

    Name
    Philomel van der Aart (+ Veridian)
    Age
    30 (+10)
    Race
    Faun (+ Fox/Earth Spirit)
    Gender
    Female (+ Male)
    Location
    Corone

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    I will get some of my dad's bad ones up here. For now, here's one of his I remember:

    A man was making a film about people snapping a pencil harshly.
    He was arrested for scenes of graphite violence.
    He was arr
    *admin at your service*

    Matriarch of the Gilded Lily and of its brothels, associated establishments and the army.

    Characters:
    The family triplet: Philomel, Vaeron and Celandine.
    The god and kenku triplet: Stare, Avin and Vixen.
    The Primordials: Professor Charles and Moros.

  2. #12
    Junior Member


    Scratch&Dent's Avatar

    GP
    0

    Name
    Scratch
    Location
    Corone
    Once upon a time, there were three kingdoms, all bordering on the same lake. For centuries, these kingdoms had fought over an island in the middle of that lake. One day, they decided to end it, once and for all.

    The first kingdom sent an army of 25 knights, each with three squires. The night before the battle, the knights jousted and cavorted as their squires polished armor, cooked food, and sharpened weapons. The second kingdom was not so wealthy, and sent only 10 knights, each with 2 squires. The night before the battle, the knights cavorted and sharpened their weapons as the squires polished armor and prepared dinner. The third kingdom was very poor, and only sent one elderly knight with his sole squire. The night before the battle, the knight sharpened his weapon, while the squire, using a looped rope, slung a soup pot high over the fire to cook while he prepared the knight's armor.

    The next day, the battle began. All the knights of the first two kingdoms had cavorted a bit too much (one should never cavort while sharpening weapons and jousting) and could not fight. The squire of the third kingdom could not rouse the elderly knight in time for combat. So, in the absence of the knights, the all the squires fought.

    The battle raged well into the late hours, but when the dust finally settled, a single survivor limped from the carnage. The lone squire from the third kingdom dragged himself away, bloodied, but victorious.

    What I mean to say, is that the squire of the high pot and noose is equal to the sum of the squires of the other two sides.

  3. #13
    Viator Mundi

    EXP: 155,108, Level: 17
    Level completed: 18%, EXP required for next Level: 14,892
    Level completed: 18%,
    EXP required for next Level: 14,892


    Shinsou Vaan Osiris's Avatar

    GP
    7,753

    Name
    Shinsou Vaan Osiris
    Age
    34
    Race
    Telgradian
    Gender
    Male
    Location
    Corone

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    Quote Originally Posted by Scratch&Dent View Post
    Once upon a time, there were three kingdoms, all bordering on the same lake. For centuries, these kingdoms had fought over an island in the middle of that lake. One day, they decided to end it, once and for all.

    The first kingdom sent an army of 25 knights, each with three squires. The night before the battle, the knights jousted and cavorted as their squires polished armor, cooked food, and sharpened weapons. The second kingdom was not so wealthy, and sent only 10 knights, each with 2 squires. The night before the battle, the knights cavorted and sharpened their weapons as the squires polished armor and prepared dinner. The third kingdom was very poor, and only sent one elderly knight with his sole squire. The night before the battle, the knight sharpened his weapon, while the squire, using a looped rope, slung a soup pot high over the fire to cook while he prepared the knight's armor.

    The next day, the battle began. All the knights of the first two kingdoms had cavorted a bit too much (one should never cavort while sharpening weapons and jousting) and could not fight. The squire of the third kingdom could not rouse the elderly knight in time for combat. So, in the absence of the knights, the all the squires fought.

    The battle raged well into the late hours, but when the dust finally settled, a single survivor limped from the carnage. The lone squire from the third kingdom dragged himself away, bloodied, but victorious.

    What I mean to say, is that the squire of the high pot and noose is equal to the sum of the squires of the other two sides.
    Nicked.

  4. #14
    Ride The Lightning

    EXP: 166,794, Level: 17
    Level completed: 83%, EXP required for next Level: 3,206
    Level completed: 83%,
    EXP required for next Level: 3,206


    Storm Veritas's Avatar

    GP
    25,550

    Name
    Storm Veritas
    Age
    39
    Race
    Human
    Gender
    Male
    Location
    Corone
    Math jokes, folks. We're getting sophisticated up here.

  5. #15
    Viator Mundi

    EXP: 155,108, Level: 17
    Level completed: 18%, EXP required for next Level: 14,892
    Level completed: 18%,
    EXP required for next Level: 14,892


    Shinsou Vaan Osiris's Avatar

    GP
    7,753

    Name
    Shinsou Vaan Osiris
    Age
    34
    Race
    Telgradian
    Gender
    Male
    Location
    Corone

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    Better bring the levels down.

    Three guys walk into a bar.

    Ouch.

  6. #16
    Viator Mundi

    EXP: 155,108, Level: 17
    Level completed: 18%, EXP required for next Level: 14,892
    Level completed: 18%,
    EXP required for next Level: 14,892


    Shinsou Vaan Osiris's Avatar

    GP
    7,753

    Name
    Shinsou Vaan Osiris
    Age
    34
    Race
    Telgradian
    Gender
    Male
    Location
    Corone

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    What does Trump’s hair and a Tulum thong have in common?

    They both barely cover the asshole.

  7. #17
    Viator Mundi

    EXP: 155,108, Level: 17
    Level completed: 18%, EXP required for next Level: 14,892
    Level completed: 18%,
    EXP required for next Level: 14,892


    Shinsou Vaan Osiris's Avatar

    GP
    7,753

    Name
    Shinsou Vaan Osiris
    Age
    34
    Race
    Telgradian
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    Male
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    Corone

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    What did The Donald yell when his Mexican houseboy tried to put out a fire in Trump Tower using the wrong extinguisher?

    No way, Hose A!

  8. #18
    Viator Mundi

    EXP: 155,108, Level: 17
    Level completed: 18%, EXP required for next Level: 14,892
    Level completed: 18%,
    EXP required for next Level: 14,892


    Shinsou Vaan Osiris's Avatar

    GP
    7,753

    Name
    Shinsou Vaan Osiris
    Age
    34
    Race
    Telgradian
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    Male
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    Corone

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    A man's wife hits him across the head.

    He says "What's that for?"

    She says "I found a piece of paper in your pocket with Sexy Sarah written on it".

    Quick as a flash he says "That's the name of a horse I bet on today, you silly cow"

    She apologizes.

    A week later she hits him with a frying pan!

    He says, "What the fuck was that for?".

    She replies. "Your horse phoned!

  9. #19
    Junior Member


    Little Red's Avatar

    GP
    500

    Name
    Little Red
    Age
    3 months
    Race
    Red Back Junco
    Gender
    Female
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    Corone

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    A man was looking at a wall of jars. he said "Trying to find what you want in all of this is a real pickle." He then snapped back and said, "That line was real jarring."

  10. #20
    Viator Mundi

    EXP: 155,108, Level: 17
    Level completed: 18%, EXP required for next Level: 14,892
    Level completed: 18%,
    EXP required for next Level: 14,892


    Shinsou Vaan Osiris's Avatar

    GP
    7,753

    Name
    Shinsou Vaan Osiris
    Age
    34
    Race
    Telgradian
    Gender
    Male
    Location
    Corone

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    Quote Originally Posted by Little Red View Post
    A man was looking at a wall of jars. he said "Trying to find what you want in all of this is a real pickle." He then snapped back and said, "That line was real jarring."
    Sweet baby Jesus.

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