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Thread: Osiris Open 2017 Round 1: JDD2035 vs Duffy

  1. #11
    God of Bards
    EXP: 99,783, Level: 13
    Level completed: 70%, EXP required for next level: 4,217
    Level completed: 70%,
    EXP required for next level: 4,217

    AP
    0
    GP
    282
    Duffy's Avatar

    Name
    Duffy
    Age
    540
    Race
    Thayne
    Gender
    Male
    Hair Color
    Red
    Eye Color
    Green
    Build
    5'8"/160lbs
    Job
    Bladesinger

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    An eye for an eye was Duffy’s life motto. Every now and then, it became a slash for a kick, and he stumbled back winded and disgruntled. His katana dropped to his side, pain spiralling out from the site of impact and pumping more adrenaline around his body. He had to give it to Cain, he was giving him a run for his money.

    “Going to be like that, is it?” he stuck out his tongue at the downed captain.

    The plucky notes of the Shamisen wavered, and the ephemeral music gathered about the humming blade to empower it, to engorge it, and to bring to life another aspect of the troupe’s power. He stepped several paces back, clearing himself out of the path of Ruby’s thunderous spell song.

    “Fair fights are for women and gentlemen. And I am not neither of those!”

    He slashed skywards, a cleaving arc that split the air itself. Three spherical whirls shot upwards, smashing into the ceiling and dislodging more remnants of a bygone age. Dust and rubble fell about them, comets of rage that precursed the three ghostly and explosive orbs descending haphazardly down at the Captain. Stood grinning amidst the chaos, Duffy defended himself with the Singing Sword, lest the unpredictable nature of spell singing decided to kick him in the nuts for good measure. Sweat beaded on his brow, and soaked his shirt down his back.

    The shamisen dissipated, and outside, Lilith set down her corporeal counterpart, smiling politely to herself that she had given Duffy just enough education to perform. She looked up at the clouds, vespers of a storm filled morning, and took a deep breath of humid air.

  2. #12
    Member
    EXP: 16,044, Level: 5
    Level completed: 35%, EXP required for next level: 3,956
    Level completed: 35%,
    EXP required for next level: 3,956

    AP
    56
    GP
    1,880
    jdd2035's Avatar

    Name
    Captain Cain Jodin
    Age
    27
    Race
    Human
    Gender
    Male
    Hair Color
    Blonde
    Eye Color
    Green
    Build
    5'11
    Job
    Merchant Sailor/ Privateer

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    "Bloody hell! A pox on all mages!" Cain said as debris started falling scattering ghosts and dust far and wide. Cain had spend a considerable part of his life avoiding collateral damage not from magical artillery but the idea was the same. Get out of the way from the very heavy, fast moving objects intent on making his life miserable or very short.

    He dropped low and began scrambling 'away' from the collapsing ceiling dodging rock and boulders the size of of the peregrines best bower and cutting along around the corner he felt the walls begin shudder. "Warm work!" He shouted at his opponent as things began to quiet down once again. He re-loaded his pistols as quick as he could, grinning and taking a quick breath he raised turned back around the corner and fired once again both a caster round and normal shot! He made a mental check of his ammo six rounds powder and shot, 3 rounds of caster.

  3. #13
    God of Bards
    EXP: 99,783, Level: 13
    Level completed: 70%, EXP required for next level: 4,217
    Level completed: 70%,
    EXP required for next level: 4,217

    AP
    0
    GP
    282
    Duffy's Avatar

    Name
    Duffy
    Age
    540
    Race
    Thayne
    Gender
    Male
    Hair Color
    Red
    Eye Color
    Green
    Build
    5'8"/160lbs
    Job
    Bladesinger

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    “Nope.”

    Lysander’s blade caught the lightning round and snatched away its power into the depths of its rhythmic pulsating. It crackled, rolled down his arms, and faded as the progeny of his heritage did away with the Captain’s cheap tricks.

    Metal, on the other hand, was less easy to squirrel away.

    “Yep,” he winced.

    Duffy’s eyes glazed over, resisting the urge to look down at the warm patch on his upper thigh. Whilst on the one hand, he wouldn’t bleed out too quickly, on the other, it fucking hurt. Even though better protected by muscle than his shoulder, the bullet cracked bone and undid any chance of a swift pursuit.

    Unfortunately for Cain, the momentary triumph fell short. The rubble might have stopped barraging down, but the ghostly spheres that ricocheted around the room finally found their mark. They hovered in a triangle, their power converging and creating a deep, umbral percussion that permeating every nook and cranny of Pandemonium.

    “Have it your way, gun lover.”

    As the bard let the katana fall noisily to the ground, and dropped onto his knees in a slouch, the personification of his voice darted directly at Cain, spiralling in a circle of unseen, but very much heard death. If anything remained of the Captain after, Duffy regretted not being able to stomp on it in triumph. He took a deep breath.

    “An eye for an eye, a bullet for a bullet.” He clenched his leg, feebly trying to stop the bleeding whilst trying to find the words for another spell song that could blanche it closed. His head span. His heart raced. His mind clouded. Somewhere at the back of it, like a nervous debutante peeking out from red velvet curtains at a prospective audience, the bard remembered what it felt like to be mortal. To be scared. To be human.

    He fell forwards, weak and feeble, arm held out to save himself the shame of face-planting the ruins, and found himself thanking his opponent for reminding him of the fact. In between swear words, of course. A circle of blood appeared beneath him, marking the location of his defeat, and the start of a whole new age of pain and avoidable mistakes.

  4. #14
    Member
    EXP: 16,044, Level: 5
    Level completed: 35%, EXP required for next level: 3,956
    Level completed: 35%,
    EXP required for next level: 3,956

    AP
    56
    GP
    1,880
    jdd2035's Avatar

    Name
    Captain Cain Jodin
    Age
    27
    Race
    Human
    Gender
    Male
    Hair Color
    Blonde
    Eye Color
    Green
    Build
    5'11
    Job
    Merchant Sailor/ Privateer

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    The reverberating concussion passed through his number one sea coat like butter. He felt his ribs start to vibrate, then crack and finally shatter. The rest of his bones shortly followed. His face contorted into a hideous semblance of a grin as he slumped against the wall. The thought that passed through his pulverized skull before he blacked out was ~Ha! That was some good practice.~ He coughed up some blood and his body relaxed into heavy sleep or death or both. His pistols clattered to the his sides and his cavalry saber laid near his feat.

    End thread.

    Request any XP earned to be converted into GP please.
    Last edited by jdd2035; 06-24-17 at 11:43 PM.

  5. #15
    Deliver Us
    EXP: 63,334, Level: 10
    Level completed: 85%, EXP required for next level: 1,666
    Level completed: 85%,
    EXP required for next level: 1,666

    AP
    5
    GP
    6,395
    Shinsou Vaan Osiris's Avatar

    Name
    Shinsou Vaan Osiris
    Age
    31
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    Human
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    Male
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    Brown
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    "Executor" (Leader) of the Brotherhood

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    Round 1 is over! This thread is now closed for judging.

    Althanas Operations Administrator



    "When we were young, was this the dream we had? We're celebrating nothing. We need to find our way back."

  6. #16
    Deliver Us
    EXP: 63,334, Level: 10
    Level completed: 85%, EXP required for next level: 1,666
    Level completed: 85%,
    EXP required for next level: 1,666

    AP
    5
    GP
    6,395
    Shinsou Vaan Osiris's Avatar

    Name
    Shinsou Vaan Osiris
    Age
    31
    Race
    Human
    Gender
    Male
    Hair Color
    Brown
    Eye Color
    Gold
    Build
    6'0", 155lbs
    Job
    "Executor" (Leader) of the Brotherhood

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    Combat

    JDD2035: 13 / 30

    You stuck to what you are good at – combat with a sailor’s repertoire. Your opening shot with your caplock pistols hit and caused Duffy a particularly painful wound. Your second shot was more powerful but also more predictable – a problem that allowed Duffy space to counter with a barrier.

    I was perhaps most impressed with the idea of using the hot barrel to burn Duffy. Whilst not exactly overwhelming, it showed outside of the box thinking. With some work, this kind of vision could really help your skills in battles blossom.

    A common theme so far in this tournament is the sheer lack of use of setting by participants. In this respect I have to say your score was severely damaged. You had an illustrious and diverse arena to use and I felt like you pretty much just ignored it entirely.

    I felt that you were both fair and took hits as much as you dished them out. Fair play all round, so not much more to say here.


    Duffy: 17 / 30

    Welcome to Duffy’s Got Talent! I’ve experienced the Bladesinger side of life before with your alt Ruby, and it made for an interesting and original challenge. Now, being on the other side of the fence, I can have more of an appreciation for the unique set of skills.

    The early gunshot wound hurt you and I was surprised to see you take such a critical wound in the early stages, but a quick rendition was enough to make sure the fight continued past post three. The theme of musical aggression continued deep into the fight but I didn’t feel like you were particularly predictable at any one time – thanks to the Aria.

    I have to say, though, I nearly spit out my drink when I saw the words “The final countdown”, and all sorts of images crept into my head. Thanks for that.

    Again, as with JDD, I felt a lack of resourcefulness when it came down to using the arena hurt both of you in this fight. You could have literally been fighting in the void for all I know, which is hugely disappointing given the rich opportunity there.

    Once again, I felt that you both took hits as much as you dished them out. Fair play all round, so nothing to add.


    Character


    JDD2035: 10 / 30


    I have done judgments for you before and even worked with you in some high profile tournaments, so I already have a fairly good grasp of what to expect from Cain. However, to someone who may never have read your work before, I feel that you didn’t really do him much justice here.

    There simply wasn’t enough content in your posts to paint a picture to the neutral spectator of what Cain Jodin is really like. There were perhaps small flickers of his seafaring personality and his “never say die” attitude, but I think it is fair to say that this category left a lot to be desired. The one area of credit I can give you is that at least the bit of action we got could be reasonably attributed to Jodin’s way of dealing with things.

    I am buoyed by the fact I know you are capable of much better, but at the same time I can’t help but feel disappointed.


    Duffy: 17 / 30

    I got a lot more from Duffy than I did from Cain in this thread, but if I am going to be brutally honest with you (as I have to be), it felt like reading a copy-paste of Ruby. That’s not to detract at all from Ruby – she is an excellent, well thought through character, but I just felt there were too many similarities which detracted from me being able to fully enjoy what you showed us of Duffy.

    That being said, on this thread alone, I enjoyed what I read. Duffy’s actions made sense, his unique style of speech and song interwove well and you made the best use you could out of that quirkiness.


    Prose

    JDD2035: 10 / 30


    I will give you credit where credit is due – your mechanics are definitely improving, but there is still work to do. The common enemy was the lack of punctuation in critical places. Spelling was less of an issue here, and that is a positive for you to take out of this.

    My biggest bugbear with your performance was sheer lack of content. Rarely, if at all, was the setting described in any detail which made it difficult to pinpoint you in relation to Duffy. It also made your posts a bit monotonous and bland, although the upside of this is that your clarity was more or less spot on. The purpose of these judgments is to constructively criticise, and so this is my advice: work on your technique. You’re getting to grips with your mechanics, which will see your scores improve by 10%-15%, but the real hook is your technique. Throw in some literary devices to keep the reader interested; perhaps a couple of similies or metaphors. You did so well to think of using the overheated barrel as a weapon, so why not redirect some of that creative talent to making your writing a bit more glitzy? Food for thought.

    Duffy: 20 / 30

    Your mechanics were more or less solid. It is very rare that I read a piece of yours that hasn’t been properly proof-read, and I think I only came across a single typo in the whole thread. I really can’t add much more to that.

    My sole issue with your style is that whilst it is appropriately flamboyant and full of charisma, it can sometimes be difficult to follow your actions with clarity. I often found myself re-reading sentences to unravel the metaphors and similes just to get to the core of what is actually happening. I do find it a very attractive style of writing, though; colourful and meaningful in equal measure. It’s just not particularly easy on the eye.


    Wildcard

    JDD2035: 5

    Duffy: 7

    With not much else to go on, I’m awarding the wildcard based on my personal preference for style here.

    JDD, it may feel like a harsh judgment but there are positives to take out of it. You have improved on at least one area since my last judgment for you and I was particularly impressed by your outside of the box thinking, and that is progress, but I do feel like you had a bad day at the office here. I’m sure it’s a one-off.

    Duffy, I enjoyed the style you employed and the flair you brought to your writing. I also know that you are capable of even better, though.


    Final scores and rewards


    Duffy: 61/100
    JDD2035: 38/100

    Duffy advances!

    In accordance with Osiris Open rubric, both contestants receive rewards based on a score of 65. JDD's GP is forfeited to the tournament pot!

    Duffy receives 1015 EXP and 70 GP!

    JDD2035 receives 770 EXP and forfeits 80 GP to the tournament pot! **

    **(Request for EXP to GP conversion denied as (a) the rule states that EXP can only be converted to maximum of double the earned GP value and (b) Osiris Open tournament rules state that loser GP is forfeited to the pot anyway)

    Congratulations!

    Althanas Operations Administrator



    "When we were young, was this the dream we had? We're celebrating nothing. We need to find our way back."

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