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  1. #11
    Viator Mundi

    EXP: 155,108, Level: 17
    Level completed: 18%, EXP required for next Level: 14,892
    Level completed: 18%,
    EXP required for next Level: 14,892


    Shinsou Vaan Osiris's Avatar

    GP
    7,753

    Name
    Shinsou Vaan Osiris
    Age
    34
    Race
    Telgradian
    Gender
    Male
    Location
    Corone

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    Every now and then when your life gets complicated and the cats start closing in, the only cure is to load up on heinous chemicals. Little did Shinsou know it, but the party from the other night had served more than ale.

    There was nothing more helpless and irresponsible and depraved than a man in the depths of an acid binge.

    Was it five years ago with the cats? Six? It seems like a lifetime, or at least an era —the kind of peak that never comes again. Whitevale was a very special place to be a part of. Maybe it meant something. Maybe not, in the long run, but no explanation, no mix of words or music or memories can touch that sense of knowing that Shinsou, Storm and Breaker were there and alive in that corner of time and the world. Whatever it meant.

    History is hard to know, because of all the hired bullshit, but even without being sure of “history” it seems entirely reasonable to think that every now and then the energy of a whole generation comes to a head in a long fine flash, for reasons that nobody really understands at the time—and which never explain, in retrospect, what actually happened.

    "Right," Shinsou determined, "Fuck the cats. Where's this floor lava you're so fucking girly about? Let's deal with that first. Actually, no. Let me tell you a story first, about that time in the future."

    The two men momentarily paused before nodding their solemn agreement.

    "My central memory of that time seems to hang on one or five or maybe forty nights—or very early mornings—when I left the Silver Stocks half-crazy and, instead of going home, aimed Slepnir and myself across Radasanth. I must have been travelling at a hundred miles an hour wearing shorts and a sheepherder's jacket."

    There was madness in every direction. Whilst Shinsou rambled on about his event, there was a fantastic universal sense that whatever the three were doing was right, that they were winning.

    And that, they believed, was the handle—that sense of inevitable victory over the forces of good and evil. Not in any military sense; they didn’t need that. Their energy would simply prevail. There was no point in fighting on any side. Shinsou, Storm and Breaker had all the momentum; they were riding the crest of a high and beautiful wave.
    Last edited by Shinsou Vaan Osiris; 12-19-2017 at 04:37 AM.

  2. #12
    upon the cheek of night

    EXP: 224,444, Level: 20
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    Breaker's Avatar

    GP
    38,725

    Name
    Joshua Breaker Cronen
    Age
    30
    Race
    Demigod
    Gender
    Male
    Location
    Corone
    “These mushroom poppers are delicious,” Josh said, smacking his lips. “Beautifully delicious. Hell, I’d say they’re beautifully gorgeously delicious.”

    “But what do they taste like?” Storm inquired.

    “Beautifulness!” Josh shouted. “Here, let me try some of that.” He grabbed the full pipe Storm had just finished packing using not the hand that he was fingers wrapped elegantly beautifully around the crystal glass he held in that hand. “Got a light?” He asked as he lifted the pipe to his lips.

    The lightning mage sighed but leaned forward and complied, a spark leaping from his fingertip. It flew through a swirling miasma of colors and lit the bowl. Embers flared, and smoke eddied down the mouthpiece into Breaker’s lungs. His eyes bulged and he coughed like a horse with laryngitis. Actually, you know what, I’m just going to say it. He coughed like a bitch.

    “Wow,” Breaker said as he returned the pipe to its owner, “it’s been awhile since I smoked anything that strong. Or since I smoked anything, for that matter.

    “I once purchased a pound of Radasanthian Reefer behind a nightclub in Corone’s capital. It got me through the night, and hit all the right spots. I was smoking with this Alerian elf named Autumn, and damn she was as hot as Draconus’ breath. Wait, that didn’t sound like me. How would I say that? I know; her beauty made me burn like a dragon’s fire. There, that’ll set the ladies dripping like faulty faucets.”

    Breaker paused in his monologue to take a drink and a breath. The other two men were not paying much attention, lost in their own worlds. Josh shrugged.

    “Anyways, where was I? Oh that’s right, I remember. So I was smoking with this elf chick who was smoking in her own way, and she said she wanted me to come back to Alerar and marry her so she could move up in the succession line to the throne. Isn’t that crazy? I just wanted a little smoke, and I almost became a prince for it.” Josh paused for a moment, seeming to count in his head. “Is that three-fifty yet?” He asked no one in the room. It was.
    "The breeze did not stir. The stars did not twinkle. The trees did not sway and the brook did not babble.
    For the world did not turn when Am'aleh wept, and a tear had tumbled down her cheek."


  3. #13
    Ride The Lightning

    EXP: 166,794, Level: 17
    Level completed: 83%, EXP required for next Level: 3,206
    Level completed: 83%,
    EXP required for next Level: 3,206


    Storm Veritas's Avatar

    GP
    25,550

    Name
    Storm Veritas
    Age
    39
    Race
    Human
    Gender
    Male
    Location
    Corone
    Grabbing greedily at one of the mushrooms, Storm tried to posit what was going on around the three of them. Lornius was an odd place, but rampant cats, burning floorboards and prattling heroes were never part of its lore. Worse, Josh had pilfered his pipe, and by the time he took his second hit from the cherrywood bowl, the wizard noticed his smoke was gone.

    Might as well fill the belly. Need to balance out the empty burn from the smoke.

    The mushrooms did NOT taste like "beautifulness", or whatever nonsense Josh had spoken of. They tasted like "mushrooms" with a little acidic twinge. Chewy after a mild crunch, milquetoast in flavor, with an aftertaste of something like orange juice. Not half bad, the mage assessed. As he rubbed at the beard which he did not have, Storm leaned back in his chair to ponder.

    For a mage, you don't know jack shit about nature's goodies. Aside from the healing leaves and poison plants Karuka taught you about, all of the forest's offerings are somewhere between ass and elbow for you. Why not take the time to learn? If there's a chance to catch this type of buzz, what's the harm?

    Smiling, the effects of the mushroom not yet taken hold, the lightning wielder leaned back as he listened to Cronen crone on. Reefer this, elf chick that, and an intonation that suggested Josh was speaking to either himself or an imaginary friend standing behind where both Storm and Shinsou sat.

    "Radasanthian Reefer? I grew up around there, you sound like a schoolteacher. Kids just call it "ragleaf" there; it's a fun time but not like whatever gypsy bullshit this stuff is."

    As if upset with the insult afforded the local brand, the window across from Storm sworled in the air. The teak edged panes twisted and spun as the grass melted into fractal crystalline segments, swirling and spinning upon itself, growing into a spectral form as it surged forward. The window apparition charged at Storm, causing him to lean back further and topple from his chair. The ghastly assaulter disappeared as quickly as it formed, spinning up through the cathedral ceiling of the wood-framed room.

    Noooooooooooo!!!!

    Storm was falling backwards, a fall of no less than five thousand feet. He fell freely, spinning his arms in counterclockwise circles as he attempted to regain balance, failing to square his body disposition with electromagnetism about his feet. He fell and fell and fell, some five thousand feet before smashing his body into the cobblestone road outside, shattering mortar and stone while obliterating flesh and bone alike.

    Storm Veritas was dead.

    About the corpse, Shinsou and Josh had witnessed the wizard's eyes pop open wide as he leaned back, before losing balance and falling from his seat to the floor, some two and a half feet below him. Groaning, the aging adventurer bemoaned his death, and the commensurate loss for humanity.

    Tripping balls is bad for you.

  4. #14
    Viator Mundi

    EXP: 155,108, Level: 17
    Level completed: 18%, EXP required for next Level: 14,892
    Level completed: 18%,
    EXP required for next Level: 14,892


    Shinsou Vaan Osiris's Avatar

    GP
    7,753

    Name
    Shinsou Vaan Osiris
    Age
    34
    Race
    Telgradian
    Gender
    Male
    Location
    Corone

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    Hallucinations are bad enough. But after a short while you eventually learn to cope with things like seeing your dead girlfriend from five years ago crawling up your leg with a machete between her teeth.

    Most fanciers of the kinds of psychadelic offerings that Althanas could throw at them can handle this sort of thing. But nobody can handle that other trip. That trip where a man like Storm Veritas can walk into the Russet Apple and suddenly appear in the sky over downtown Lornius twelve times the size of God, howling anything that comes into his head.

    This place was not a good town for psychedelic drugs.

    So when the inevitable happened, it sent Shinsou's narcotic addled mind into pandemonium.

    Storm reeled from his chair, but instead of falling onto the floor in a crumpled heap the chair simply got sucked into the floorboards and melted away like hot butter on a skillit. The electromancer seperated like water in oil, his finery exploding into beads of light and his face cracking and shattering like a window that had just had a brick put through it. Every piece of his partner in crime came apart before reassembling themselves in a kaleidoscope of flesh and felt.

    Then, without a care in the world, the clouds outside the windows became Veritas's face and Josh's eyes.

    "Storm, who gave you permission to become the fucking sky?"

  5. #15
    upon the cheek of night

    EXP: 224,444, Level: 20
    Level completed: 0%, EXP required for next Level: 0
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    Breaker's Avatar

    GP
    38,725

    Name
    Joshua Breaker Cronen
    Age
    30
    Race
    Demigod
    Gender
    Male
    Location
    Corone
    “Ragleaf?” Josh laughed so hard he choked on his scotch and nearly fell out of his chair. He watched casually as Storm morphed into some type of planar deity, clearing his throat with another sip of scotch. “I hate to go against the word of a celestial,” he said, “but ragleaf IS what they sell to schoolchildren. It’s not the same thing as Radasanthian Reefer, that’s like saying, I dunno, that the Serenti Softballers are the same thing as the Coronian Cannons. Just because they play the same sport, doesn’t put them in the same league.” The strange analogy to non existent teams of an unspecified sport broke like shattered stained glass and wafted away on the breeze coming through the Breaker-shaped hole in the wall.

    “Poppycock,” Storm said. Every syllable he pronounced looked like a beautiful exploding firework. “There’s no WAY I got sold school children dope.”

    Suddenly, and with great quickness of action and to the surprise of all present, with a hast most unbecoming of his previous decorum, the young server did appear at the head of the staircase. He did not bat an eye at the cats, nor cat a thigh at the bats. He nodded respectfully to Storm the shimmering celestial and bussed Breaker’s empty mushroom plate.

    “Can I bring you anything else, sirs?” He asked, eyeing the hole in the wall. “A contractor, perhaps?”

    “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!” Screamed Shinsou, Josh, and Storm. They were frightened, to say the least, they were startled. In other words, the server had them by the goat hairs; he truly had crept up like a wily jack’o’the snares. Why, if he’d been carrying an Alerian repeater with adamantine armor-piercing bullets and wearing an antimatter suit, he might have just gotten the drop on the three heroes.

    “C-c-cats…” Shinsou stammered lethargically, leaning on the table for support with his main arm and tucking the non main arm behind the other side of his bipedal abdomen. “He’s covered in cats!”

    “Fucking RATS!” Storm cursed, “he’s being eaten by rats!”

    “Snake ninjas!” Josh shuddered. “Why did it have to be snake ninjas???”

    Despite all seeing different things, the powerful men all appeared petrified of the server, who stammered and stuttered for a second, his posture shifting in uncertainty and surprising agility, and then he turned and left, muttering something about getting a good tip.
    "The breeze did not stir. The stars did not twinkle. The trees did not sway and the brook did not babble.
    For the world did not turn when Am'aleh wept, and a tear had tumbled down her cheek."


  6. #16
    Viator Mundi

    EXP: 155,108, Level: 17
    Level completed: 18%, EXP required for next Level: 14,892
    Level completed: 18%,
    EXP required for next Level: 14,892


    Shinsou Vaan Osiris's Avatar

    GP
    7,753

    Name
    Shinsou Vaan Osiris
    Age
    34
    Race
    Telgradian
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    Male
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    Corone

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    "Fare thee well, beautiful stranger."

    Shinsou, bidding the feline smothered attendant goodbye from the room, hadn't noticed it was Storm's turn to speak. Owing to the fact the electromancer's face was currently stretched across most of the cosmos, the Telgradian reckoned he could be forgiven on this one occasion.

    Especially because he had come up with a fantastic idea.

    "Storm, Josh, holy shit! We need to go on a quesssttttt!" The Telgradian declared triumphantly, raising the arm which hadn't transformed into a squid into the air.

    Joshua, brushing off the giant crab that had melted through the ceiling and mounted his back for comfort, frowned.

    "What kind of quest?"

    Shinsou wiped his brow as Storm's face finally rained onto the cobblestone streets below, before converging on one spot in the middle of the room, taking human form.

    "Fuckin'...I don't know man. Vampires seem to be a problem these days. Vampires, cats, that sort of thing. We're free thinkers, right? We're fucking problem solvers. Let's go solve some fucking problems!"

  7. #17
    Ride The Lightning

    EXP: 166,794, Level: 17
    Level completed: 83%, EXP required for next Level: 3,206
    Level completed: 83%,
    EXP required for next Level: 3,206


    Storm Veritas's Avatar

    GP
    25,550

    Name
    Storm Veritas
    Age
    39
    Race
    Human
    Gender
    Male
    Location
    Corone
    Go on the quest.

    Storm resurrected himself with relative ease, standing up to his new life with a stagger. The servant had come and gone, with Storm doing very little to slow the progression of the attacker. In fairness, he was dead, and the servant was an angel taking him to the afterlife. It was only after the angel offered to bring a whore around that the wizard acquiesced he could possibly have overestimated the visitor.

    "Lornius is the land of champions. With us up here, and them sending monsters up the stairs, we can't let them line up our execution. I wouldn't be the least bit surprised if the bottom of this inn was currently inhabited by a goddamned dragon."

    He was speaking quickly now, a loud whisper that was neither furtive nor effective. He quickly rolled across the room at the window that had attacked him, peering outside at a fairly nondescript street, with only a few horses and one cart rolling by lazily.

    "Now's our chance! Break for the outside, get the f*ck out of here, and we'll take shelter away from these goddamned hobgoblins."

    Stepping back across the creaky floors, the magician observed confused glances coming from his partners. Of course, they were paralyzed in fear from the fifty kilogram servant that had come to kill them, so all was fairly understandable. The wizard stole a glance down the stairs, where the servant conspired with the big-titted woman that Veritas presumed was an operative of some sort.

    "Hadoken, Motherf*ckers!"

    With an extended palm, Storm blasted the window and adjacent wall with a blast of blue-white energy, the pulse more bulbous and unconstrained than he had intended. The wall billowed in, sang to him, and then exploded outwards, sending shrapnel of glass, wood, and plaster radially away from the threesome and opening a man-sized hole in the wall.

    "Away from the hobgoblins!" With a piercing whistle, Attila was called as Storm Veritas jump/fell out of the window, this time actually injuring himself somewhat considerably with an awkward fall onto packed earth some twelve feet below. Confused, his mighty horse sauntered over to them, looking up towards the remaining adventurers as the host and servants charged up the stairs to assess the horrible racket the Idiot Champion had created.

  8. #18
    upon the cheek of night

    EXP: 224,444, Level: 20
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    Breaker's Avatar

    GP
    38,725

    Name
    Joshua Breaker Cronen
    Age
    30
    Race
    Demigod
    Gender
    Male
    Location
    Corone
    Meet in an inn then go on a quest! Josh thought to himself. It's brilliant! Why hasn't anyone ever done this before? He reclined on a sofa of slow-melting butter as the world rotated beneath them. Storm, seeming overly excited at the mention of a quest, exited the building in the most destructive manner possible. Josh would have taken this as a personal challenge, but he was feeling pretty relaxed. Like, really REALLY relaxed, to the maximum effect. Slowly the molecules of his body became pure water and he melted away into a puddle which evaporated and ascended the heavens. He could hear the ocean goddess Am’aleh calling his name, a siren song that was as gorgeous to listen to as it was beautiful.

    Like an eagle above the clouds or a dolphin beneath the seas, he soared. Like a pot of water or a good egg he boiled. Like a shooting star or a sparking flame he flew. Time and time again, metaphor after simile, continent after continent, he witnessed all that was or ever could be. He saw the wastes of the Tular Plains, the jungles of Dheathain, the red forest of Raieara, and the Frankish Ligers of Alerar. Some of the things he saw might not have been canon, but the guy is tripping balls, give him a break. Er.

    Breaker rematerialised into human form by the blessing of Am’aleh outside The Russet Apple, standing next to Storm. He looked on with all the other looky loos and said things such as “what’s all the commotion?” and “well I never!” as if on a fixed timer and loop. After a few cycles he decided he preferred being a main character and snapped the fuck out of it.

    “Good people!” He called, spreading his hands majestically and handsomely. “My friend is a powerful wizard of the highest order. What you have witnessed is an arcane experiment that will change the face of magic on Althanas as we know it. Also, he will pay for all damages.” That seemed to settle down the rowdiest of the bunch. A few hopeful-eyed adventurers remained, looking on as they wondered whether there was any room in the questing party.

    There wasn’t.
    "The breeze did not stir. The stars did not twinkle. The trees did not sway and the brook did not babble.
    For the world did not turn when Am'aleh wept, and a tear had tumbled down her cheek."


  9. #19
    Viator Mundi

    EXP: 155,108, Level: 17
    Level completed: 18%, EXP required for next Level: 14,892
    Level completed: 18%,
    EXP required for next Level: 14,892


    Shinsou Vaan Osiris's Avatar

    GP
    7,753

    Name
    Shinsou Vaan Osiris
    Age
    34
    Race
    Telgradian
    Gender
    Male
    Location
    Corone

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    Shinsou leaned on a palm tree and inspected the smattering of generic adventurers before his eyes. Every single one was a perfect specimen, each equipped with six packs, swords, armour, a tragic backstory and a desire to fight meaninglessly in the Citadel.

    "Right, no. Stop." Shinsou demanded, leaving his comfortable leaning post as each of the adventurers snapped to like the prerequisite for a military parade ground inspection. "Is this our world now? Are taverns populated only by clones of He-Man?" No-one knew who He-Man was, which was fair enough because he didn't technically exist in this canon.

    The Telgradian determined, after some thought, that this planet had a problem, which was this: most of the people living on it were unhappy for pretty much all of the time. Many solutions had been suggested for this problem, but most of these were largely concerned with the movement of small green pieces of paper, which was odd because on the whole it wasn't the small green pieces of paper that were unhappy. Looking at this collection of nondescript humanity, Shinsou wondered if perhaps the unhappiness stemmed from a drought of new problems to solve.

    The Telgradian, exasperated, decided it was time for a song. As piano chords and violins began their concerto of childlike music, Shinsou Vaan Osiris and a handful of small dancing elves began a finely choreographed routine.

    "Do you wanna build a military junta?
    Come on let's go to Whitevale,
    I never see Storm anymore
    Because he's fucking whores
    All the live long day!"

    The elves began showering Shinsou with glitter as he erupted into spontaneous expressive dance.

    "We used to be best buddies
    And now we're not
    I wish you would tell me why!-
    Do you wanna build a junta?
    It doesn't have to be an evil junta?
    Go away, Shinsou!
    Okay, bye..."

    The elves began sobbing as if to emphasise the sadness inherent in the lyrics.

    "Do you wanna build a faction?
    Or ride our horses around the halls
    I think a coup is overdue
    I've started talking to
    the pictures on the walls-
    (Hang in there, Arius)
    It gets a little lonely
    All these empty streets
    With no Brotherhood soldiers walking by-
    Storm?
    Please, I know you're in there
    People are asking where you've been
    They say "have courage", and I'm trying to
    I'm right out here for you, just let me in
    We only have each other
    It's just you and me
    What are we gonna do?
    Do you wanna build a Brotherhood?"

    There was a moment's expectant pause while Shinsou slowly came to a halt at the front of the inn. Lights flashed and flickered experimentally and settled down into a businesslike pattern around his face. A soft low hum came from Joshua Cronen, who was now vibrating at a high frequency.

    "Good Morning, Joshua" said Shinsou with infinite majesty and calm. "You appear to be suffering some sort of molecular anomoly there. Anyway, shall we proceed?"

    "Where to?" Asked Storm, who was now essentially a giant Alerarian Floofcat.

    "Where else?' The Telgradian shrugged. "...but Letho Ravenheart's farm?"
    Last edited by Shinsou Vaan Osiris; 12-22-2017 at 05:47 AM.

  10. #20
    Ride The Lightning

    EXP: 166,794, Level: 17
    Level completed: 83%, EXP required for next Level: 3,206
    Level completed: 83%,
    EXP required for next Level: 3,206


    Storm Veritas's Avatar

    GP
    25,550

    Name
    Storm Veritas
    Age
    39
    Race
    Human
    Gender
    Male
    Location
    Corone
    The name of Letho Ravenheart was a sobering one, which forced Storm up from the ground to the two annihilated colleagues. Shinsou's little song was cute enough through it's insanity, but certain ideas rung poor, regardless of the electromancer's state of mind.

    "Absolutely f*cking not!" He had managed to his feet, no doubt a miracle of galactic proportions. "I don't care if you've got an invisible goddamned plane. Every f*cking time I've gone to that godforsaken place random assholes sprout from the ground, as if waiting for decades on the off chance I wander through, and get the drop on me. With metal-free guns, no less!"

    "For an adventure, we can fly to the Citadel upon Lornius. Set up some traps for the next Corporate Challenge. Next time we have to fight out there, tripwires and tiger-traps and little clouds full of funky green mist."

    Pondering the situation, the wizard tapped at his chest, horrified to fail to find the pipe which brought him clarity most times, and incredible confusion today.

    Cronen, you motherf*cker...

    The Breaker had left the pipe inside! Storm didn't hesitate to act, bounding back UP into the gaping maw of the tavern he'd just caught, where two exasperated attendees (one the bitchy woman with the pillowy boobs) stepped back away from him for a moment. They started yelling in howls as he stepped forward, to afraid to actually assault him but undeterred from launching a verbal attack. He turned to the room servant, the thin man who had put a gypsy curse on the others earlier.

    "Fix your goddamned floorboards from burning if you don't want people to blast their way out of rooms, fatso!" Reaching into his pocket, Storm pilfered a small pinch of golden Crowns while he pocketed the familiar pipe. The pipe seated in its familiar home like a knife in a sheath, whereas the gold seemed completely arbitrary.

    "For your troubles." Storm tossed the gold to the thin man as he hopped down from the newly forged ledge, unaware that he had offered enough gold to possibly afford six or seven planks, but certainly no actual repair work. Completely vexed, the couple watched as he strode back over in an entirely circuitous route towards Shinsou and Joshua.

    "Gentlemen, I've saved the day and salvaged the pipe. We need to ride my Camaro over there before the lizard people come out to get us."

    Attila bucked at his gesture, confused and potentially angry at his insinuation. The horse was easily strong enough to carry two men, but three would be a struggle.

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