Sine Nomine: To Recruit and Stabilize

[Call me J]

(Closed to Andromeda.)

Jame scowled. He didn’t like receiving letters from Virtue, especially since many of them were negative. This most recent missive suggested that he wasn’t attracting enough members into the group, a charge he reviled especially given how much danger he had encountered in Kachuk just to spread the message of his organization and recruit Rainee. Now, the letter he had received said not only had he failed, but that Rainee, who he had recruited into the group, was doing better than him.

“So she beat up some bandit and recruited two cat girls,” Jame thought dismissively. “If I recruited her I should get at least partial credit for that.”

Despite what Jame may have wanted, he knew Virtue was going to find that argument unpersuasive. He was going to have to find more members for the group. That was his motivation as he entered the great tavern in Alerar, El’inissring. He ordered a single ale, and then looked around the tavern, hoping that he could find someone, anyone who was alone and looked like they needed direction. He knew that he was exposing himself to a bit of risk, it would have been impossible for him to wear a mask, and instead, he had to settle for only covering his face in his dragon scales, a position he could only keep for five minutes straight.

Fortunately, Jame figured that would be all it took once he found the right person. Once he had talked to them, they could steal away to somewhere where he could conceal his face without looking like a petty criminal. Until then, dragon scales were going to have to suffice. Even these got a bad reaction from the dark elven crowd, but Jame didn’t care. If he was working for Sine Nomine, he needed to conceal his face. It was the organization’s rule, and it was one Jame obeyed. Given his ties to the Alerarian government, he knew at the very least, it provided him with a form of security that he wouldn’t otherwise have.

“Now who to target… who to target…” he thought with a scowl. He looked around the tavern. He had decided against dark elves, because far too many of them in Alerar had hidden loyalties that would have been impossible to detect. He’d have to find someone else, a stranger in El’inssiring who looked lost within the city.

Surprisingly, this was difficult. There were a number of people there who weren’t dark elven, but they were all either rich or dignified, if not both. They were here on business missions of sorts. Either they were advocates who wanted to plead their cases before Schynius or the King, or they were businessmen and warriors seeking profit. Either way, they weren’t the kinds of people who would want to join Sine Nomine. Jame decided he would wait another minute before leaving. If no one entered who struck his fancy, then he would leave.

[Andromeda]

Andromeda walked in the door to the tavern, slightly out of breath, as if she had jogged the entire way. She smiled slyly as she pranced up to the bar. she was bored, and was looking for someone to talk with. She decided not to talk to any of the dark elves, for they were easily offended, and she didnt want to deal with that situation. She surveyed the room, noting that all but one of the occupantsthat was not a dark elf appeared to be a noble, and that was out of her league. The one that was not, oddly enough, had a face covered in dragon scales. She thought to herself "He might be fun to harass", and walked over to him. "Hi, Im Andromeda, but you can call me Andy," she said as she sat down. "So, what brings you to this area?"

[Call me J]

As Jame was getting ready to leave, a lycanthrope who was roughly his age sat down next to him. He smiled at her and ordered her a drink, more as a gesture of courtesy than anything else. “I am Rafe,” he offered. “I’m here on a mission of sorts.”

Now Jame knew he was going to have to think fast. He was going to have to decided whether or not he wanted to offer this lycanthrope a lifetime’s opportunity to join Sine Nomine. He knew what Virtue had wanted, and yet the half dragon was a bit reluctant to declare his allegiance to the secretive organization in public. He didn’t realize just how unnerving it would be to talk about Sine Nomine like this. When he had recruited Rainee, the two of them had been all alone together in a cave. Now, in the largest tavern in all of Alerar, Jame felt like everyone was watching.

Two drinks were set down on the table by a bartender who had paid no attention to him. Jame looked at the bartender before he realized that in truth, he had no problems. “Hidden in plain sight,” he recognized. Immediately, he smiled.

Jame took a final look at the lycanthrope to determine if she was material for Sine Nomine. She seemed relatively unintimidating, and by reputation, she was of a race that was often reluctant to side with evil. At the very least, Jame felt he could assume she would do nothing to get in the way of his group if left to her own devices. Unlike Virtue, the half dragon felt as though he couldn’t kill people who refused his offer.

“I work for a group trying to make a brighter world,” he said in a relatively hushed tone. “We work to destroy things around us that are barriers to success. If you are interested, we can get a private table somewhere and talk more…”

The way Jame spoke, it was uncertain if he was offering a cheap pickup line or a recruitment offer. He had done so intentionally. It would have been easy for Andy to dismiss him as a flirt if she ended up being uninterested.

Jame's eyes told a different story. They were sincere and serious. It was the first time he had been in a tavern in quite a while where his priority was neither drinking nor a woman, but creating the better world that The Light had envisioned.

[Andromeda]

Andy decided to play along, saying "My self appointed task is also to improve the world around us, but for my own reasons. Lets get a private table, like you suggested, and we can start from there." As she says this, she stands up and motions to a table in a secluded corner and asks enticingly, "Coming?" and saunters off, thinking to herself. "Maby he and his friends can help me protect the other semi intelligents. Maby he could even help me find the men that killed my parents. I just hope its not too late for revenge." Reaching the table, she ordered a meal for herself and Rafe. as she waited for the meal to arrive, she and rafe exchanged small talk. Finally, the meal arrived, and rafe got to the point. "So..."

[Call me J]

We have a rule here, where if you want to write about the actions of someone else’s character, you need to have their permission to do that first. This time it’s okay, but in the future, ask via PM
Jame wasn’t sure whether Andy thought he was flirting with her or whether he was serious, so he didn’t know what to make of her answer. It seemed that he was going to have to play along with Andy’s game though, provided that he wanted to recruit her into Sine Nomine.

She didn’t even touch her drink, but Jame brought both of the glasses over to the secluded table that Andy had found. Jame was pleasantly surprised to find it within the tavern, he was planning on inviting the lycanthrope to go with him to a flat nearby where some people who he knew were sympathetic to Sine Nomine resided. That was where the initiation ceremonies in Ettermire took place.

Jame downed practically half of his glass of ale before he reached the table. He had swallowed it in a pair of nervous gulps, but he just wanted to have this discussion happen. Already, he could feel his skin begin to itch, as if it wanted to go to a full dragon or shed the layer of scales that was over it. He wouldn’t have much time, so he wanted to work quickly.

Once he sat down at the table, Jame didn’t want waste any time before getting back onto the subject at hand. The Lycanthrope had ordered a meal, and it was taking, by Jame’s estimation, far too long. Nervously, he tapped his foot on the ground, practically counting the seconds as they wasted away on service. He began to eat, tried to work his way through the small talk, just hoping that the lycanthrope would get to the point.

“Well the thing is, if you want to make something of yourself, it’s hard to do it alone,” he said. “This is Ettermire, a giant city of lights that wants to swallow you whole if you let it. If you’re by yourself, then you can end up in more trouble than you’ve bargained for. If you’re serious about helping to make a better world, then you should come with me. This tavern is too full of dark elves with excellent hearing, even at one of their private tables. Trust me, I know how much spying takes place here. The Alerarians are a charming people, they don’t even trust themselves…”

Jame reached out his hand. “How about it?” he asked. “It’s either you’re on your own and getting nowhere, or coming with me and making a difference in this world.” The young half dragon smiled, though he didn’t know how his smile would look through his scales. “It will be worth it.”

[Andromeda]

Andy took his hand, hoping against all odds that he could help her get revenge on her parents murderers. "Ill come with you," she said "But I have one question, why the scale face. Its kind of creepy." with that, she giggled, grinned coyly towards Jame, and, stifeling another giggle, said "Im just messing with you. I do that alot. Please dont take it personally." She grinned again.

[Call me J]

Jame smiled. He began to move his way out of the tavern. “We keep our faces secret,” he said. “In our organization, we think its best that when we’re out in public, we should remain anonymous.” Jame waited until they were far enough away from the tavern that he could change back to his humanoid form without anyone recognizing him as the man in the tavern that was talking about changing the world.

His eyes were still red, but in every other respect, it seemed that Jame’s face completely changed. Medium length yellow hair appeared on his head, his prominent jawline became much more visible, and his skin returned to a tan coloration.

“This is how I look most of the time,” he said.

He had often wondered if there would be a way that he could transform himself so that he could take other forms than just his dragon and humanoid form. A battle in the Citadel against Xanabata had showed him that despite what he might have otherwise expected, his true form was that of a dragon. That meant, that his humanoid form was just one illusion. Presumably, if he practiced, he could make others work as well.

“If I wanted to look like Schynius, think I could?” he thought to himself, wondering about all the trouble he could cause if he looked like Alerar’s High Graf. He doubted that it would be possible any longer than he could hold the scales on his face in a humanoid form. By the time he had released them, his body had been twitching so angrily for him to change that he had felt as if he were going to explode. Even now, he couldn’t help but scratch his cheek a little because of the lingering effects.

His thoughts were interrupted by another. It was a dwarf. “Scuz me lad…” the dwarf began. “I recenize the name, Rafe. You toked ta us in Kachuk. Sed you’d help, an ye have, an I wanna join ya.”

Jame looked at the dwarf. He wasn’t sure if he remembered the dwarf from his adventures, and he was reluctant to be so trusting. However, Jame saw calloused hands, the kinds of calluses that he hoped he would never have. If the dwarf had been planning a trap, it had been one so elaborate it would have taken years of work in the mine to set it up.

“Come with us…” Jame said. He offered nothing more. If the dwarf was in fact a spy, they would know in the flat. The people there had more knowledge of Sine Nomine initiation rituals.

Jame lead both the lycanthrope and the dwarf in the direction of the flat. He hoped they followed, and that no one else did. He was fortunate, because there was no one out on the streets during mid day. Dark elves were often awake, but they stayed out of the sunlight. Jame soon knocked on the door of the third floor apartment.

“Who knocks?” a gruff voice on the other end asked.

“Sine Nomine,” Jame replied.

The door was opened. It was none other than Virtue behind it. “I was checking up on you in Alerar,” he said. “I wanted to see how things were going.”

Jame would have normally been a bit offended, but he didn’t want to have an open argument in front of two strangers. Instead, Jame spoke to them. “This is your chance to join Sine Nomine,” he said. “A group dedicated to eradicating everything wrong with Althanas and creating a brighter world. You’ve already heard me talk about this before, and I know you both care, so let’s make this happen okay?”

[Andromeda]

Andromeda grinned, saying "I guess Im in no matter what. And anyway, it might be fun." She winked, and then said "So, what do I have to do to join, and what are the possible benifits?"

[Call me J]

“If you don’t have a choice, why should I offer you any benfits,” Jame asked playfully. “You’re the one who likes to mess with people Andy, just wanted to return the favor.”

Now, the half dragon was quite pleased with himself. He could tell that the dwarf needed no further inducement to join the group, and by the tone that Andy was using, neither did she. He looked to Virtue, but the older leader seemed to have considered the new recruits a done deal now, so much so that he left Jame up to do the rest of the coaxing.

“Well then,” Jame began. Had it been a situation where he had been more concerned about his ability to persuade, he might have taken a different angle. “The benefits are the same as the benefits of any other group. By ourselves, we’re weak. But we have many members who have goals, goals that only Sine Nomine can help them achieve...”

For a moment Jame didn’t know how to elaborate. His only goal, or at least the only one he had considered a strong priority, was to be left alone and allowed to do his thing, whatever it was that “his thing” really was. He couldn’t use himself as an example. There was nothing in his history that would seem compelling, no genuine pathos he could turn around to use and coax another.

Instead, Jame brought up Rainee. “We have a cat girl member,” he began. “Her name is Lightening. She’s a powerful mage with a great deal of talent, but she seeks to gain revenge on the bandits that killed her family. With Sine Nomine’s help, she’ll be able to succeed…”

“We already helped her get one!” Virtue interrupted. “She killed Manny Ravenclaw on a mission for us.”

“See,” Jame said. “We’ll help you with your goals too. Now don’t worry about a thing.”

Virtue had already begun the initiation processes for the dwarf. They were almost finished. “And arise!” Virtue declared. “He who will now be known as Steelsmith!”

“It’s your turn...” he now said to Andy. He gestured her towards an area in the corner of the room where incense was burning and there were a few tea cups sitting by. “That is, if we’ve convinced you sufficiently…”

[Andromeda]

Smiling, andy said "You have," and walked over to the corner that Rafe had pointed out. Starting to sit down, she then asked, "Could my secret name possibly be 'Dark Assasin?' I've always liked the way it sounds. Oh! I dont know what to do. Could you walk me through it?"
Could you write what my character does in the initiation please? I have no clue what to do, and I would like to get the initiation done in one post. So, I give you permission to write what my character does.

[Call me J]

Virtue smiled. “My pleasure,” he said. “I will guide you the entire way.” He pointed over to a chair where he asked Jame to sit. The half dragon complied, and he watched the intitiation with rapt attention.

With his chin in hand, Jame watched as Virtue began to offer honeyed words to the lycanthrope, speaking sweetly. Jame had to admire the way the old man was working. It was as if he said things that really would have resonated with the girl. Jame could sense their meanings, because they stirred up feelings in him as well, made him want to be loved by Sine Nomine the way that Virtue was saying that Andromeda was loved.

“Lord knows my father never would,” Jame thought snidely as he watched as Virtue fed Andromeda items from cups he couldn’t identify. “He’s too busy sending me on missions to do anything for me…”

Jame wondered if that wasn’t why he didn’t mind going out and recruiting the lycanthrope and the dwarf for the group. He smiled slightly, and looked at the dwarf. “So, how did it go for you?” Jame asked.

The dwarf scowled. “Not well,” he said. “Too much of that stuff to drink has left my head spinnin”

Jame nodded, he watched now as the items that Andromeda had been sampling from had been removed from her. Virtue spoke again, though his voice was not nearly as calm and soothing as it had been minutes ago.

“Only through Sine Nomine can you get these things back!” he declared. “Remember that, Dark Assassin, and now rise and take your place as a member of the flock!”

With a smirk, Jame looked on. He wasn’t sure how he felt about this initiation ritual, now that he had seen it from the perspective of an outsider. There was something unsettling about it, something that Jame couldn’t exactly place. He wondered if Rainee’s had been just as disturbing. With a bit of a sigh, he exhaled deeply and looked on to Andromeda.

“How was it?” he asked, hoping that she would have a positive answer for him.

[Andromeda]

Im going to try using first person narration from now on.

I stood up, and Rafe asked me "How was it?"
I answered "Not to bad, though I feel as though my stomach is about to burst from all of those drinks." I thought for a second, then asked "We're done here, right? I am going to head to the inn and get some sleep now. See you all later," and walked out of the appartment, thinking to myself, "Now hopefully I can get revenge." A few minutes after I left the appartment, two men clad in Cainmail, both possesing wicked looking broadswords, started walking up to me.
"Oy! Stop where you are and keep youre hands up!" one of them yelled.
"Oh shit," I cursed under my breath, turning around and running back up the appartment stairs, "They found me again!"
I reached the door that rafe had gone into, and banged on the door, yelling "Rafe, open up, I need help."
The door opened, but it was not Rafe, it was the man that had done my initiation. He asked "What is it?"
I said "There are some guards chasing me, they think I robbed a merchents stall, and I need to hide from them!"
he let me in, and hid me in a closet. The guards ran by the room, not even looking in, and left.

[Call me J]

Jame had been sitting, talking with the dwarf and planning his next move when Andromeda came bursting through. Jame listened to what she had said, and his eyes opened wide. He wondered if she had actually stolen the items from the Bazaar. After all, he didn’t know the girl very well, and had taken a risk based on intuition to have brought her to the flat in the first place.

However, Virtue made a decision before Jame could have even spoke. “There are no people you have to hide from any more,” he said. “Now that you’re in Sine Nomine, we handle our own.” He pulled a pair of cloth masks from his pocket and held them out. “Rafe… Dark Assassin, take these, and settle our business.”

Though the half dragon was a bit surprised by Virtue’s suddenness, he managed to conceal his surprise until he had the mask on his face. Still, his eyes had opened wide enough that he was sure that Virtue could have seen it. “This is just crazy,” he thought. “We’ve already escaped them, no need to start up more of this for its own sake. We already have Andy in the group, we don’t need to do any more to impress her.”

Jame complied. He knew he was putting himself at a great risk, he had ties in Alerar, and if he was found out for his ties to Sine Nomine, he dreaded to think what would happen to him. But, Jame knew that if he didn’t act, he would be setting a bad example, and that would be something that he couldn’t afford. If it was just two guards, he fancied his chances against them, even without being able to use his firebreath or transform into a dragon as a result of the mask.

With a smirk hidden underneath the mask, Jame told Andromeda it would be time to leave and then made his way out of the flat to see the two soldiers coming down the stairs. He didn’t know how they would react just to the presence of a man covered in a wool mask, but they certainly seemed surprised when Jame’s hands sprouted claws.

“Go after the real criminals,” Jame said, masking his voice so it sounded higher pitched than usual. “If you go after criminals at all…” He had no idea what he meant by that, but it sounded like the kind of thing he would have expected The Light or Virtue to have said in his place.

With that, he leapt into battle, ducking underneath a sword blow from one of the guards and driving his claws forward into the stomach of another. His claws got caught up in the chainmail, and even though they pierced the soldier, Jame could tell they didn’t go deep enough. The soldier dropped his sword in pain, but from the tears forming in his eyes, Jame could tell that he was just enranged, still able to fight.

The second swung his broadsword out at Jame, but the half dragon was able to block with his free claw. He realized now he should have coordinated some kind of a plan with Andromeda before they had leapt into battle, but since he hadn’t, he only hoped that she would attack.

Jame knew better than to call out to her, it was possible the guards could recognize his voice. He only hoped that she would know that he would need help.

[Andromeda]

Rafe knocked on the closet that I was hiding in, and told me that we were going to fight the two guards. As soon as I heard this, I leaped into action. The virtue handed me a mask, and told me to put it on. I did as he told me, and then saw Rafe leave the apartment. Shortly after he left, I heard the sounds of combat outside. I drew my katana and rushed outside, only to see Rafe dig his claws into one of the guards. I set my katana for a charge, and rushed at the unoccupied guard. My katana glanced off of his armor, so I pulled it back and slashed at his neck. He ducked away from it and tried to head butt me, I dodged it, and as he ran by me, I took the pommel of my sword and bashed him in the back of the neck. He crumpled to the ground, unconscious. “Now for the other one,” I thought. I turned to the other one, only to see Rafe nail the other one in the gut. I tried to swing at the one that he was fighting, but they moved just before I hit, and Rafe blocked my sword en rout.

[Call me J]

Jame blinked. He didn’t realize that the katana he was blocking had belonged to Andromeda. Immediately, he shook his head, glad that she had managed to finish off one of the men. The guard had broken loose of Jame’s chainmail, though his blood was now splattered all over the half dragon’s fist. Surprised at how fast everything had happened, he quickly tried to regain his composure.

“I was caught here, I have all these people to deal with, focus, just focus…” Jame told himself. “Forget Virtue and the ceremony that was never done for you, forget that he just threw you out here to fight instead of himself or the dwarf but you’re killing yourself with your stupidity…”

The half dragon hoped that Andromeda would realize that his parry of her sword had been unintentional. He could sense fear in the guard now, the soldier who come chasing after the lycanthrope with the intention of capturing a thief had just faced a lot more than he bargained for.

With his face now etched in stone, Jame wondered what he should do. Now, the wounded soldier had reached appoint where fighting seemed almost impossible. Jame didn’t want to kill someone in that weakened of a condition, but he feared that if he didn’t, then Andromeda wouldn’t be safe. Yet, he couldn’t do it. He remembered back to the mine in Kachuk, when he had offered mercy to a cruel mine owner only to have her killed by one of her dwarves.

“Maybe the same thing will work here,” he thought. Disguising his voice like he had when he first laid the challenge to the two guards, Jame said only two words. “We’re done.”

[Andromeda]

I pulled my sword back as Rafe said in a strange voice "We're done here,"
I said "No we're not," and I moved around to the back of the guard, laying my sword, blunt edge down, on my left arm while my right hand still held it. Then, with as much force as I could get, I rammed the pommel into his neck, knocking him out as well.
As soon as this was done, I exclaimed "Finally! Oh, and they're not dead, by the way. They're just knocked out. I think we should move them smewhere else, so that they wont be a nuisence anymore. You know, We make a good team."

[Call me J]

Jame spoke to Andromeda, but his focus was on the two guards who were now unconscious. “Virtue will want to deal with them somehow,” he said. “And you’re right, I guess we make a good team. That’s why you belong in Sine Nomine.” His answer seemed more vacant than sincere, though the difference might have not been apparent to a casual listener.

The half dragon didn’t know what to make of the battle. The whole thing had happened so fast, and the more he thought about it, he really didn’t know what to make of the day. With no desire to voice his more complicated concerns to Andromeda, he made his way back towards Virtue’s little flat where he could pay his respects and then get back to the part of his life that didn’t involve working for a secret society.

He knocked on the door. He got no answer. He knocked a second time. There was no answer again, only muffled words. “Shit!” Jame realized. “The dwarf!” He didn’t realize it until now, but he realized just how foolish he had been recruiting the dwarf into Sine Nomine. He hadn’t asked for any identity, any kind of proof, he had just been reckless because he’d wanted to get his Sine Nomine business taken care of.

With that, Jame prepared to use his shoulder as a battering ram. He moved back, and then ran forwards, knocking the door off its hinges with his second well timed blow. Wincing a little from his hurt shoulder, the half dragon entered the room only to find Virtue tied and gagged to a chair, a trickle of blood running from the leader’s forehead.

“Whadidya do?” Jame asked incredulously. “Whaa- why?”.

“Shut up!” the dwarf said, brandishing a large club that he must have had before, only Jame had failed to notice. “I know who you are. You killed him, you killed Brow, out in the mines of Kachuk. You and your whole organization.”

Jame shook his head and bit his lip. It was true, but the situation was complicated. Brow was about to hurt Rainee and Jame had only stepped in to her defense. Still, he knew something like that would not appease a crazed dwarf. “How about it?” he asked. “What do you expect? The door’s open, I’m here, its just you and opportunity now… but where are you going to go. There are three of us here, Virtue, me and Dark Assassin, think you can take us all out?”

[Andromeda]

I watched as Rafe knocked on Virtues door, knocked again, and then beat the door off of its hinges and entered. After that little episode, I heard Rafe stammering, and the dwarf we had brought with us yell "Shut Up!"
Still having my katana drawn, I thought quickly, trying to come up with a plan to stop the dwarf. I finaly thought of something. I replaced my Katana, muttering the traditional ranger prayer for after battle, "thank the great leaders of the forest for allowing me to succeed in vanquishing my foes, and grant me the graces of the forest untill next time."
Then with great speed, I gripped my bow, nocked an arrow, and hoped that the dwarfs back was to me now.
I moved to the doorway, and thanked my gods that the dwarf was following my plans. I drew the string back, took carefull aim, and loosed it, nailing not the dwarf, but the bindings holding Virtue to the chair. The dwarf, now aware of me, spun around. "You!" he yelled. I quickly nocked another arrow, drew the string back, aimed again, and loosed it into the dwarfs eye. It penetrated deeper than I had thought it would, but it did the job. The dwarf fell to the ground, dead.
I looked at Rafe, saying "That was fun, whats next? Slaying a dragon?"

[Call me J]

Jame shook his head, not sure whether the lycanthrope was joking or not. He was stunned by Andromeda’s marksmanship, he had never seen a creature with that good aim and that much courage. “To think, she could have hit Virtue…” he thought. Philosophical differences aside, Jame knew he never could have taken a shot like that.

“We’re done,” he said. “We were done before this dwarf, and now we’re done after him.”

Virtue was releasing himself from his binds. By the time that Jame had recovered his senses, the older man was rolling his wrists to get back flexibility in them. “You are both done here,” he said. “Dark Assassin, your work here is just beginning, but for the moment, you are free. When you are needed, we will contact you.”

With his eyes focused on Virtue, he wondered why Andromeda had been addressed first. He would have imagined that he would have been dismissed, and then the Sine Nomine leader would have gone over whatever plans he had for the lycanthrope after he had left. Instead, now he could see that Virtue was calling him over. Jame winced. He looked at the dead dwarf on the floor, and realized exactly why he was in trouble.

“You were reckless and compromised Sine Nomine,” Virtue began, his voice in a hushed whisper. “And I suspect that you were as reckless with this girl you brought. What are her links, what are her ties?”

Jame began to protest. “I don’t know… But boss, just list-”

Virtue shook his head disappointedly. “You should have known better, you’re grounded for now. When you have something important enough to see us in Radasanth… come to us. Until then, we’ll pretend none of this ever happened, understand?”

Though under normal circumstances, Jame would have welcomed the release of responsibility, he smarted under the conditions of it. Still, he didn’t want to protest for himself, but for Andromeda. Jame feared if Virtue didn’t trust her, then she might never get a chance to be a real member of Sine Nomine. “Give her a chance though,” he said. “I promise, we can trust her…”

Virtue nodded slightly. “Alright then,” he said. “That will be it.”

Jame sighed and left. “See you around,” was all he said to Andromeda before heading down the stairs and back into his life. Once he had moved far enough away from the flat that no one could have traced him to it, he took off his mask and exhaled.

He knew he wouldn’t be wearing it for a while.

(Spoils- The cloth mask. It is wool, but lined with cotton on the inside for comfort)

[Andromeda]

Virtue started whispering to Rafe, and I could tell that whatever he was saying, Rafe didn't like. Finally, Rafe left, looking dejected. I dismissed myself to Virtue, and followed after Rafe. When I caught up to him, I told him "Thanks for helping me out. If you ever need me, Ill be in the forests of Scara Brae. Ill see you later, I hope." With that, I left for the island whose forest I called home.

[Karuka]

All right, since Call me J is an old hat and it seems that Andromeda needs the most help, all my comments and explanations will before her. I will, however, demonstrate the improvements she can make with a little effort by mentioning what you would have scored alone.

Continuity - Continuity tells me what you did before this, why you came, and hints at where you're going after.

I never got why you'd gone to Alerar, and it made even less sense when I learned that she was from Scara Brae. Was she looking for someone or something in specific? Did she have a clue to who had murdered her parents? The only thing I got from you about Andy's history was that her parents had been murdered. I don't need her entire history in detail, but I do need enough backstory to understand what she's doing in any given thread.

3 (J-6)(A-1)

Pacing - Pacing asks if the thread went too slow or fast, or both.

This thread really felt rushed, as though you wanted to speed through it and forget everything else. It didn't help that your posts were so short. While I'm a big believer in brevity, I'm also a really big believer in detail. Put more detail into your posts, more story, and you'll do better here. I'm about to give you a bunch of suggestions to help out.

Also, watch out for when you go backwards during your turn. If you have to go backwards, only go back a little, and make sure you move the story forward.

4 (J-6)(A-2)

Setting - Setting is not only the environment in which your character exists, it is how she interacts with it. Your character doesn't exist in a void, she exists in a rich and detailed world.

I got absolutely nothing out of you here, and there were so many things you could have noted, particularly since your character is a lycanthrope. Stepping into the bar, what did it smell and sound like? How did the drink taste? Or the food? How did the street feel underfoot? Did the incense in the flat offend her sensitive nose?

The world is absolutely full to bursting with color, sound, scents, textures, and sensations. Try to utilize them.

2 (J-4)(A-0)

Persona - Persona is how well you show your character's personality and how consistent that personality is. We've asked "why" and "where" so far, now we're asking "who?"

I got next to nothing about your character. In fact, all I learned about Andy in this entire thread was a) she's out for revenge, b) she's a ittle bit of a tease, and c) she may be reluctant to kill people.

Believe it or not, you can take these things and make an extremely believable character. She wants revenge for her murdered parents. Great. How does she feel when she remembers them? Sad? Angry? Does she love and miss them, or is she bound to have revenge by some sort of enforced code of honor? If she has to do it, does she want to, or would she rather move on? Does it still hurt to remember her family?

She likes to tease people. Awesome. Why? Is she naturally playful, is it her way of keeping strangers from getting to know her, or is it a way of denying her grief over her murdered parents? Or some combination of all of the above or more?

Just a couple of things to think about for now.

Also, as a VERY important note, do NOT make use of someone else's character without permission. We call it "bunnying." Bunnying with permission is fine, but I need to know that you have a player's permission to use his or her character. Bunnying without permission is the cardinal sin of Althanas, and must be avoided at all costs. It's actually a really bad idea to bunny or let yourself be bunnied in your first couple of threads. You're trying to get a feel for a character, and dragging someone else's character into it can really mess you up.

3.5 (J-6.5)(A-1)

Action - Action is the "what" of the rubric. It covers what happened, whether it happened in a believable manner, and whether what you did was appropriate for your character.

Your brevity really hurt you here, and I mean really hurt you. You rushed the action and ignored most everyting else, and consequently there wasn't much action to judge. What there was was choppy. I'd suggest reading some other threads, particularly ones with high action scores, to learn what we're looking for here.

4 (J-6)(A-1)

Dialogue - Dialogue measures what you say, how you say it, and whether or not it fits your character.

Again, brevity hurt you here. there wasn't much dialogue, and what there was was just rattled off carelessly. You need to think about what your character would say and how she would say it. You shouldn't have needless prattle, but when Andy says something, she does need to actually say something.

4 (J-6)(A-1.5)

Mechanics - this is basic grammar.

You actually don't do too badly here. You favor short, simple sentences over complex sentences, but they're complete sentences. You do need to watch out for having apostrophes on possessives and in contractions, and you miss a few commas and misspell a few words.

6 (J-7)(A-5)

Technique - This judges the more formal aspects, like similes, metaphors, foreshadowing, stuff like that.

Well, you didn't do anything here, and there weren't even any attempts.

There is one major issue here, though - don't switch from third person narration to first person in the middle of a thread. If you start in third, stick with it. If you start in first, stick with it.

2 (J-5)(A-0)

Clarity Clarity is the test of whether the reader can understand what's going on in the thread.

Your writing progressed way too quickly to be clear. Slow it down, put in more detail, and make it real.

5 (J-7)(A-3)

Wild Card - Wild card judges the "other" in a thread, things not covered by the rubric but that still affect the thread, or that need to be re-emphasized.

I have some advice for you, something that will help in the future. For your next thread, try having a minimum of 8 sentences and 3 paragraphs per post. If you think of some of the things I mentioned in this judgment, it should be very easy. Good luck in the future!

5.5 (J-7)(A-4)

Total - 39! Congratulations! (J - 60.5)(A-18.5)

Rewards:

Call me J gets 795 EXP, 120 GP and his mask.
Andromeda gets 345 EXP, 100 GP and a mask identical to Jame's.

J's EXP gains are due to higher level, just to let you know.

Any questions, just shoot me a PM.

EXP/GP added!