The Twisted Heist

[Amy]

Boring lives are things only stupid people have the thief thought to herself as she began to walk around the back of the store. The bazaar of Alerar wasn't nearly as large as the one in Corone, which Amy was more used to, but easily made up for it in the amount of traffic it made. A person could disappear into the crowd and never come out again, as if they had suddenly vanished, erased from the world. Even the back ally where the girl was now had a few people in it. Some of them were walking alone, heads turned downward and shuffling their feet, not wanting to associate themselves with anyone that would rest in the ally. Most of the others were disheveled and getting drunk, not noticing as one of their number was drawing some arcane symbol onto a smaller piece of paper.

The thief stood, taking a black mask out of her pocket and sliding it over her face, leaving her nose and mouth free. She walked up to the large, heavy wood door that was the service entrance into this particular shop. It was large, imposing, and screamed of keeping everyone without a key to dare and try to get in. A wide grin broke her face as she took two of the papers stuffed in the side of her belt, licking them both and sticking them to the iron hinges of the door. She pushed, the magic flowing out of her and into the pieces of paper, which ended up glowing red hot in the process. A moment later, and the iron hinges were red hot and liquid on the ground, cooling slowly. She went over the plan in her mind again quickly. The store was something of a specialty one, selling many magical artifacts and items. One in particular had caught the thief's attention when she had seen it, and it also helped that it was in the very center of the store, with only a glass case protecting it. She thought back, remembering the layout of the place, and hoping that her timing would be right. She set up the heist earlier, with a single touch would let her get away.

She pulled hard, the door coming free without any problem and falling with a loud and resounding crash. She slipped inside, the well lit room that she entered being the back room. The merchant of the store was in there, holding a rather expensive looking necklace. The two paused for a second, and then The girl drew another slip of paper, winking and sticking her tongue out at the merchant. An arm covered her eyes as she pushed the magic again, this particular piece of paper exploding in a bright light. The merchant finally found his voice, screaming as he was blinded. The girl slipped by him unnoticed, as well as one of the guards who fell victim to the light when investigating the crash he heard earlier. She counted him off the list. She only needed to get by him, nothing more and nothing less. There was still three more guards, all of them converging on her the moment they saw her. The iron kunai at her side was drawn and thrown, flying true and shattering the glass that protected her prize.

"Bye bye guys," the thief said aloud. She touched the runes that she had marked out earlier. A blinding flash shot out again, but the thief was once again ready for her own trick. The shield was ripped from its place among the shards of glass, the leather gloves she wore protecting her hands from the sharp edges. She dashed forward, bursting through the door quickly and before any of the gaurds were able to recover from having their eyes virtually mauled by the light. A few of the people outside had seen the commotion, but most simply kept on walking, and would rather not know why here was a few flashed of light, too bright to look at directly, and a masked girl that looked a lot like a cat girl bursting out of the shop. Her prize clutched in her hands, she fought her way into the crowd, removing her mask and the hat on her head as she did so. The hat was black, with folds at the top that made the wear look like they had cat ears in a way. A strangely common hat in this day and age, why the girl couldn't fathom. All she knew that it helped with her plan easily enough. She pulled the strings for her shirt, revealing a blue version underneath as she took it off, wrapping the shield in the simple black garment as she did so.

Amowyn Kristel smiled as she became one with the crowd, disappearing into the many folds of nameless faces.

[Raelyse]

"This is her, then?"

As the bandit girl ran out from within the shop, a lone figure emerged from a strangely ever present shadow, his eyes shielded from the sudden flash by a magical spell of sorts that formed a black aura around his face. When the light faded, the light shield did along with it. The first figure to reveal himself was a model of beauty to men and women alike. His handsome features were accentuated by his sophisticated clothing, the only thing on his person that was shinier than his overly polished shoes were his teeth, which exposed themselves whenever his lips twisted to form a smirk. Silver hair was pushed back behind the ear but that was scant restraint and whenever his head moved, it seemed that the hair would along with it. But it was with narcissistic pleasure that he pushed it back into place.

"That's her, Grander."

The second voice came from just a few inches behind him. it was another male, his face similarly protected from the blinding flash of light. This one looked as if he was about the same age, though his perked ears indicated that he was an elf. His hair was long and blonde, though unlike many of his kin, it was messy and uncombed, an almost complete juxtapose to the man who stood next to him. In his right hand, he wielded a brown yew wand, which he continued to twirl annoyingly for their entire conversation.

The man he spoke to was his superior and leader of the Grander's Order, Raelyse Salidan. He carried himself with such poise and grace that even the most proud of men found it hard to maintain themselves in his presence.

"Basic theft. Half of the soldiers in Erebus could perform these party tricks. Lieutenant Colthor, please enlighten me as to why she is so special."

Colthor paused for a moment, knowing that there were flaws in his statement. He had proclaimed Amowyn as his great discovery, the one that could truly help push the Order forward as an organization. Having pride that rivaled Raelyse, perhaps he did exaggerate just a little bit.

"Grander, she exhibits all the characteristics necessary to not just be a man, not just a sergeant and not just an officer..."

Raelyse choked on laughter for a moment. He turned around to see that the guards and shopkeeper were still stunned by the sudden bright flash of light, though they were on the verge of recovery. He sniggered underneath his breath before reaching into his jacket and pulling out a sack of gold. "This should cover the cost of that imitation magical item and the amateur damages to your..." he looked around the shop and sniggered again. "...installation. And remember, you are not to tell anyone that the Grander's Order used this place as a mousetrap, or I'll make sure..." Another snigger. "... You don't want to know. Colthor, let's take a walk."

The Grander and his subordinate exited the shop, both displaying the sort of smugness that made them stand out from the crowd, even in today's rushing day.

"So tell me... explain to me why it was worth the Order's funds for you to show me that girl's talents. And then tell me why she is too good to even become an officer."

Colthor was visibly shaken in this new situation, where he was inferior and had to answer to someone. But he gathered his pride and spoke up, knowing that Amowyn would be the reason people would soon refer to him as Captain.

"Grander, I've been following her for several weeks now and I've noticed something. I've seen my fair share of promising youths, but she blows them away easily. I've noticed something untapped within her, a part of her that if we activate, she could become a significant addition to our forces."

Raelyse nearly roared out laughing, but let Colthor speak.

"If we could coerce her, I can see her becoming..."

He paused for a moment, not sure whether to release the awkward comment that had been circling his mind since he had told Raelyse about her.

"... I can see her with a personality very similar to yours, Grander."

Raelyse chuckled for a moment, stopping in the middle of the crowd, causing a minor crowd traffic jam. He turned to his subordinate, his smirk that never left his face now growing.

"Fine, Colthor. Find her, bring her back to Erebus and I'll examine her for myself. I believe we've observed for too long."

[Amy]

After walking around for a few minutes, window shopping and looking the part of a girl shopping, Amy began to look for some place to go. The Alerar Bazaar was better than the Corone one in a few ways in Amy's opinion, most of the stuff was better and of course the many outdoor eateries in certain parts. It was at one of these that she made her way towards, conscious of the jingling bag of gold within her pocket. Celebrating with some food was always a fun thing to do, especially sense they wouldn't find her anytime soon.

She talked with who appeared to be the head waiter, showing her gold and having him lead her to a seat. She remarked for a moment how easy his job must be, compared to the busting people who worked under him. She leaned the shield against her leg for, looking over at the large board where all the lunches of the day were displayed for the world to see. The girl simply stopped reading after a while, settling on getting whatever the soup of the day was. There were almost too many choices, and her patience ran out trying to read them all.

The matter of the shield was still there though. She began to wonder just what exactly the shield was in this case. When she grabbed it felt like it had a metal ring, but she could be too terribly sure. She smiled mischievously as she picked it up, setting the shield onto the table after she gave her food order to a sweating drow boy about her own age. The shield itself wasn't that big, maybe at wide as the thief's forearm at best. She was right about the metal ring that was along the outside of the shield, with a very dark wood in the center. The entire piece of armor was shiny at the very least, and enough for the girl to consider the theft worth while. She flipped the shield over, felling the smoothness of the handle and strap on the other side of the shield. IT was well made at the very least, but didn't look like it had anything worth while in terms of magical enchantments.

The shield was put away as the food Amy ordered was put in front of her. She eyed it hungrily, picking it up quickly and drinking the broth rather than trying it with the spoon first. It was warm and tasted good as it slipped down her throat, though she soon put the bowl down, a weird sense filling her. It was almost as if someone was following her. She bent down, wrapping the shield in the shirt again quickly. Her brief training as a thief earlier in her life taught her a few things, one of them to also be cautious, just don't go crazy at the first bad sign. She picked up the spoon, stealing a glance behind her for a second. She was probably fine, but the merchant she stole from may have done something to find her. Best to just eat her soup for now. Eat her soup and wait.

[Raelyse]

Colthor walked with a special spring his step as he pushed his way past peasant after peasant. These people meant nothing to him now; he knew that soon he would receive the promotion that he so richly deserved. This girl, if he submitted her to the Grander, she would be an invaluable contribution to both him and the group as a whole. No one saw it except him, but soon... everyone would praise his genius and his ability. His wand was now held tightly in his left and he proceeded to spin it from left to right, right to left, sending whirling sounds to the ears of surrounding people. It annoyed them, but it was a symbol of his happiness and besides, he could vanquish anyone here who dared annoy him with a second thought.

He could sense her, his magical talents were so vast that sometimes, he amazed himself with what he could do. It was almost as if Kristel was sending out a signal to him that he followed like a search hound desperate to bring its prize back to its master. In way, that metaphor was not far off.

He spied her sitting down at a table in a cafe, enjoying her food. She was an amateur thief, not using the time she had now to get away, instead sitting in plain view. But her expertise was not why she had interested him, it was something different entirely, something that she was displaying right now.

He pushed his long blonde hair behind his ears and moved forward, squeezing in between people once more to make his way to her table. He still twirled his wand annoyingly in his hand but stopped after pulling out a chair at her table and sitting there, plopping his two feet up on the table and looking at her with a over confident smirk plastered over his handsome face.

Placing his wand next to his feet, he looked at her with his blue eyes staring into her's.

"Why hello Amy, how are you today?"

[Amy]

By the time half of the soup that was once in her bowl was drunk, Amy looked again, getting the same feeling that she was being watched once more. It was weird, it wasn't just a normal odd feeling, she actually felt her own body shiver slightly under it. She had felt the feeling before, but it was a long time ago and not related to what could be going on now. Back then, it was her old school, and a psion was teaching about mind reading. It also didn't help it felt like a horse was beating on her head when the man read her mind. This feeling was close to the same, though thankfully she didn't have a headache to match it.

The girl stole a look behind her, suddenly getting an idea that this was a very bad idea for her to be sitting her, not even a mile away from the scene of a crime she had committed. Granted she made sure there was no one who could track her inside, but she had forgotten the fact there was more than enough mages out there who could magically track her. She gulped, noticing a small bead of sweat from fear forming quickly on her brow. She wiped it away, also realizing she didn't use the same style of magic has most of Alerar. She mentally scolded herself, turning back around and finding that she lost her appetite. Stealing from the bazaar was not a crime most were willing to commit alone, given the rather harsh punishment for it.

Amowyn breathed deeply, getting her nerves under control and making sure that the fellow restraunters didn't notice a young girl suddenly breaking out into a cold sweat. Word traveled quickly, and it may have already reached some of the people here. It also didn't help there was probably a reward for her, and most of the people here would turn her in a heartbeat. She sighed, lost in her thoughts and not even noticing as a handsome elf sat down at her table and put his feet onto the table. Even then the only reason she did notice was because of the soup that spilled out and nearly wet her hair. She looked at him oddly, smirking after hearing what he had to say.

"Sorry, I think you're at the wrong table, I don't know any Amy and if you'll excuse me for a moment, I have to take care of something quickly," the girl replied. She stood, grabbing her shirt from under the table and walking past the elf. The stolen shield from before clanked softly enough for the elf at least to hear. Amy looked around quickly, hoping to see the same tired waiter from before. She picked him out, giggling softly as she approached him, her plan allowing her to make the gesture genuine.

"Listen waiter?" She asked. He looked at her, nodding to say that he saw her. "My boyfriend just arrived, and he said he'd pay for my food, but I have to go. Could you just bring the check to him?" She smiled again, handing him a small handful of golden coins for his trouble as she began to leave.

[Raelyse]

If there was one thing that Erik liked about serving under Raelyse, it was that his leader exhibited characteristics that the elven sorcerer thought that he would like to have one day. For instance, he would never display embarrassment of any kind, merely smirking away the feeling and making a comment that would ensure it would be someone else's shame. This was a situation where Colthor had to think for a moment, racking his brain to see what would be the action that would be most fitting of an officer in the Grander's Order. As soon as she flashed him a smile and walked off, he knew what it was. He would not pursue, it was a bit too risky in such an open place. In a way, this would play straight into his hands. Staying covert was something that Raelyse wanted the Order to preserve, at least for the near future.

The waiter arrived, placing a bill firmly on the table. Luckily, it was not that much so the elf merely kicked his legs off the table and paid it off. This small fee was nothing compared to the gain he would obtain when Kristel became the Grander's. He got to his feet, brushing off the dirt and creases that had gathered and formed on his clothing before moving off. Erik could still sense her and knew that she was moving quickly, dashing in all sorts of directions and squeezing in between people to move as quickly and as far away as possible.

"Silly girl," the elf laughed to himself. After leaving the cafe, he mingled into the crowd before teleporting to a nearby rooftop. With his magically enhanced senses, the mage could see her perfectly, almost as if she stood out from the rest of the crowd. "You can never escape... You can hide, but I'll find you. You can run..."

At that sentence, Colthor spied her sneaking into an alleyway, presumably in the assumption that she was safe there and that he would not get there. A Raelyse-esque smirk formed on his face, one that he had practiced in the mirror so that it mimicked his leader's. With a mere blink of his eye, his frame teleported across the Bazaar square and into the alleyway, two feet behind his quarry.

This time, she would not escape. With a cat's grace and a blade's speed, his palm zoomed forward, grabbing onto her wrist.

"Why, hello there. Funny to run into you, here. Come here often? Oh, I think I've expended my list of cliché sentences. Oh well, hello, Amy. Did I have you at Hello?""

[Amy]

This day was suddenly slipping out of Amy's control as she took on a brisk walk in order to start making a getaway from the strange elf who had came to her table. He seemed pleasant enough, and for all the girl knew he was just trying to hit on her, but there was something else. The girl has a knack for knowing a general feel for people, or at the very least their general intentions. Something about that elf made her feel almost targeted and exposed.

She bumped into a few people as she made her way through the streets, at one point knocking someone's bags out of their hands, the contents spilling all of the street. She mumbled an apology, hurrying along while clutching the shield and cradling it in her arms. She still didn't feel safe for some reason, not even with the large crowd that should be separating her and the elf who might still be chasing her.

She ducked into an ally, breathing hard from the run she just did, combined with the fear of being caught as well. She had heard, hopefully greatly exhagerated, tales of prison and girl much like Amy. It wouldn't be very pretty if she ended up going there. Before she took a step however, a hard grip held her, pulling her hand and letting gravity claim the shield, clattering on the ground. She gulped, listening to the handsome assailants's words as he spoke to her. She was silent for a moment as she thought of a plan, turning her neck to see him and look him at least partially in the eye.

"Sorry mister, but I'm not a girl who likes weak hearted men," Amowyn said to him. She smiled, smirking and pulling from the elf's grip. The man's grip held firm, but was pulled to almost touch her body. She grabbed ahold of the kunai attached to her belt, bringing it up and stabbing towards the man's wrist, smiling savagely as she did so. She was already this far into it, slipping down some more wouldn't change a single thing.

[Raelyse]

Her skin was soft to touch, her features pretty and her body very mature for one of her age. Colthor admitted that this was the first thing that drew him to her. However, what started as a voyeuristic obsession has since grown into a full blown talent observation. One that Erik was sure would be completely successful. Every trick that she performed, every little theft were all littered with flaws that meant that she would have been caught if it were not for his intervention. He remembered the preparation he had to do or the mess he had to clean up to ensure that she survived, her confidence moving, as he laid trap after trap, which she continued to spring until this moment. The worthless shield that did not even warrant a second glance was proof of his genius.

Still, the elf was so obsessed with delivering her to Raelyse that it was worth it. Besides, it was not as if the guards she chose were that formidable. Not being a skilled thief did not mean that she blindly went to the prizes that had the more intelligent guards.

He could sense her moves and within the moment she reached for her weapon, he had already counteracted it. An inch before her weapon would connect with his arm, it rebounded away, bouncing off harmlessly by the girl's side. Erik tugged at her arm, pulling her closer to him. He looked down on the shorter girl, smirking as a translucent blue barrier materialized briefly around him before fading.

His lips curled into a sadistic smirk as the left over magical energy started to course through his body. It was such a high whenever he used his powers that he could barely endure the time in between activations of his power.

"Now why are you doing that? I thought I was your boyfriend?"

He still kept that smirk on his face, examining the girl that he held tightly in his hand. Colthor began to laugh softly to himself before he began to speak again.

“How about a kiss?”

[Amy]

It wasn't often that Amy admitted defeat to herself. In games, if she lost, she would always be able to rationalize it simply by saying that she could have tried harder. She never really lost a battle, as running away or staying closer to the back of the army often allowed her to live on and boast that she lived and won it. This may have actually been the first time the girl was almost entirely and utterly beaten.

The kunai clattered to the ground as she lost her grip on it, the blue shield that covered the entirely of the elf who captured her phasing in and out of sight for a moment as he smiled at her. She gulped quickly, her mind furiously working out the details of the situation and trying to find some way to weasel out of it. The shield on the ground was basically worthless right now, this elf was faster, stronger and probably more experienced with magic than the failed thief, and from the way he acted knew most of her talents. I'm in tight spot.

She whimpered softly, allowing her face to let some of the look of defeat and sadness slip into it. She was sure that she had enough money to buy her way out of a cell, and if she didn't then she could always melt the cells and try to escape. That would probably end up just as badly as this one-time easy job had turned out. She looked at her captor, finding a small amount of relief he was handsome and not like the creepy guy who walked around in a trench coat all the time.

"What do you want mister?" She twisted again, getting closer to the elf's body. At the very least if he tried to zap her there was a small chance he would hurt himself as well. She ignored his little statement about the kiss, instead trying to fathom how he knew her name. He was probably a bazaar guard, which wouldn't end well for her, but there was always an off chance he was just some stalker who wanted to get her body. An incredibly powerful stalker, but there was a chance nevertheless. "Can't you just let me go?"

[Raelyse]

Colthor outstretched his right arm, straightening it away from her and opening his palm, displaying his elegantly crafted digits and perfectly, on the verge of metrosexual, fingernails. He still kept the girl's wrist tightly in his left hand, but his attention was now solely focused on his right, where his magical abilities began to reveal themselves once more.

"I want? Believe it or not, I want you to be happy."

No doubt this would have drawn confusion from the lass, but no matter. Erik was known to speak in riddles whenever he was flirting or seducing and although his intents were different, he had always been too proud and too stubborn to change his ways.

He had been raised on using his talents to impress and gain approval. This was one such time. Before Amy even had a chance to react or even move, the elf had pulled her even closer to his body so that she had no chance to get away from his much stronger muscles.

"Now, close your eyes and watch this."

The irrelevance of his sentence wasn't important at this time, but confusing her was.

In a split second, energy flowed from his heart and into his palm and a purple orb of power, about the size of a basketball materialized out of nowhere, levitating about four inches above his palm. It pulsed with energy, sending vibrations throughout a one foot radius of itself. Colthor was strong so his feet stood firm, but he wasn't so sure about the girl beside him. He could feel her knees start to buckle under the immense pressure of his magical ball of energy.

He looked down at her, his left hand clenched into a fist, the index finger differentiating from the others by outstretching and landing softly on her lips.

"And this is only the beginning. Now, open your eyes and watch."

The orb continued to grow until it was twice as big as its original size and now the waves of energy emanating from it were starting to chip the paint and bricks of the alleyway walls and even knocking over small rubbish bins.

"You know? I never liked that shop that you stole from anyway. Where was it? Ah yes, there."

The elf turned to his left, spying the familiar shop. Before she could even blink, Colthor pulled his hand backwards before throwing the purple orb of energy flew through the air at unerring pace, knocking away anyone that was in the way and flying straight through those that were unlucky enough not to get out of the way. Its target was the shop from before and when it contacted, time froze for a millisecond before a massive explosion of magical energy and buildings. The entire block of houses was decimated, sending debris flying all over the open area. One large chunk of cement flew towards the elf and his target, about twice Erik's width and height. His confidence did not waver and with a simple click of his fingers, the block of cement froze in mid air, feet above them.

Colthor winked, before the giant block flew back towards its original place. Interestingly, the entire scene reversed itself as the mage began to activate his powers over time manipulation. Soon, it was as if nothing had happened, even the people that had been swept out of the way were now standing strong.

The mage looked down at the girl in his arms, his smirk still there.

"I want to teach you how to do that, only to all of Althanas instead of a pathetic little district."

[Amy]

The man was puzzling in almost every respect. He probably wasn't with the bazaar gaurds, this at least Amy was sure of. If he was, he would have asked for a bribe or taken her straight back to the merchant. The girl was even more so confused by hi actions. His statement about what he wanted puzzled her for a moment, though in her mind she immediately dubbed him a psychopath. She was pulled in closer, the girl letting a small smile creep on her lips as to how the two must look right now. It was a little ray of sunshine pn what was so far a rather dark encounter.

The elf's instructions were followed too the letter by the girl. She didn't have any power over him, this she knew. when she stole it, he found her. When she tried to run away, he caught her, when a kunai was aimed for his gut he moved so it didn't hit either of them. In almost every trick she had tried to pull, he ended up countering rather easily and without even breaking a sweat. If the girl was right, he could also probably have killed her a few times over by now. She closed her eyes, and waited.

A force hit her hard, causing her to actually hold onto the elf's body as it threatened to push her away. The girl nervously awaited what would happen next. At the very least from what she could feel from the pulsing magic that was near her, it would be a big, noisy death. At least if she went down, it wouldn't be her alone that did it. The sound of bricks crumbling, as well as a few other things in the ally, was almost comforting in that respect.

He told her to open her eyes, which she did slowly and cathiously. She still clutched the powerful mage as she did so. The orb of what looked like pure magic flew out, crushing people and blasting others away on its destructive force. She watched on, mezmorized and horrified at the sight before her as it crashed into the shop from which her pathetic shield was taken. The shop was destroyed in moments, as well as much of the surrounding area around it. She stood for a moment, open mouthed, and strangely eager for some reason. This was the type of magic that the girl had always wanted to learn how to use and control.

Whatever worries that the girl had were shattered almost instantly. It was even more horrifying than before. She watched as people were put back together, buildings reforming and the rage of destruction as well going backwards. A few moments later, or was it earlier, she thought for a minute, everything was back to the way it was before. It was as if nothing had happened at all.

The girl looked up at the elf again, this time seeing something other than a creepy man in an ally. She saw him for the powerful mage he was, and quickly looked away. she snuffed the small flame that was forming in her hand. She had planned to attack him at the end of his show, but she changed her mind. The girl didn't belive there was a mage as powerful as the elf holding her now that would be willing to teach her. She looked at him again, smiling shyly, and honestly, at him.

"How?"

[Raelyse]

As she began to warm up to him, the elf began to feel a great sense of achievement well up within him. He had finally managed to crack her facade and get within her and appeal to her, which was really a lot easier than he first had thought. It appeared as if her lust for power was a lot stronger and more prominent than he initially thought. All the better, the more in love she was with the concept of gaining power, the more in love she would be with the Grander and the more power Erik would ultimately gain in the end.

"Simple," he answered her bluntly. He slowly let go of her body, knowing that she would make no escape now that he had her. His smirk grew wider before he raised his right hand into the air and clicking his fingers loudly. Immediately, the sound of wheels spinning and horses hooves clopping softly on the ground below rang throughout the entire area, causing people to flee and jump out of the way as a large carriage zoomed throughout the square. It stopped inches in front of the alleyway, the door swinging open.

Colthor rose into it, his long arm thrusting in Amy's direction, his palm wide open and ready to pull her on board as soon as their skin contacted. From this angle, it appeared as if he were the stereotypical Prince Charming. His hair was neatly groomed, his clothing immaculate and his posture perfect. A charming smile formed on his face, one that would make many girls weak in the knees as his eyes gazed deeply into theirs. And yet at this moment, Erik only had eyes for Amy.

"No," he said slower. His eyes never left her's and his hand appeared to grow closer to her's all the time. "It's even easier than that. Just grab my hand and all the power you can ever imagine, all the power you could ever want, no need... no... All the power you deserve, my dear. All that power will be yours if you simply throw away the shackles of this world and grab my hand."

He paused for a moment to widen his smile, making his face even more charming.

"Just grab my hand."

[Amy]

The girl could almost feel a sudden sense of relief within the elf, though she could not exactly place why he would have felt it. He claimed to give her power, though someone like him hardly seemed the altruistic type. He fit the profile of a greedy king rather nicely, or even the Prince Charming that every girl dreamed about at one time or another. Powerful, handsome, rich and all that want in return is the beautiful maiden. She pushed the thoughts aside, his promise of magic was enough motivation for the girl.

The carriage swung by, the girl letting out a soft chuckle at some of the slower passerby's misfortune of being hit by the extravagant sides of it. The strange elf stepped up and partially into the beautiful vehicle before her, extending his hand out before him. It occurred to her just how shabby her own body was. She looked down, her shirt and pants covered in various small knicks and scratches, with dust spread over. Her Prince Charming's shirt alone was probably worth several hundred times more than all of her cloths she was wearing now.

She held her hand up tentatively, not touching the elf's but rather comparing the two quickly. Doubt was set in her mind as she noticed the difference. The man may not want to give her power after all. Amowyn Kristel was not a totally clueless girl. She understood that she was a beautiful girl, but why this man was simply dropping out of the blue and asking her to get into a strange vehicle remained a mystery to her.

Her hand shied away a little. She gulped again, losing some of the sharp edged resolve that came from before. Part of her suddenly wanted to turn around and run again. Run, pick up the shield and go back to her happy state of stealing it successfully. But she knew that wasn't possible at all. The shield was worth crap, the elf was determined to get her and could kill her when needed. She looked up at him again, staring into her eyes as she decided what to do, hoping for the lady instead of the tiger.

Her hand reached out, gripping his and was pulled into the carriage with an uneasy grin.

[Raelyse]

The elf let the girl sit down next to him in the reasonably luxurious carriage. Raised by nobles in Raiaera, Colthor was used to this sort of treatment, but he was positive that Amy wasn't. The very fact that she spent the majority of her time pilfering and stealing meant that she never had the pleasure of living the way that Erik did, with everything at his fingertips. He watched her face as it lit up at the ornate designs on the seats, the polished door handles and windows in the carriage and even more so when the transport roared to life, the driver whipping the horses to push them forward. She had no idea where she was going and Colthor was not going to tell her yet. This would be part of it, this would be part of the plan.

By the time they left the main marketplace area and into the dirt road that led towards the mountains, the awkward silence between the two had begun to manifest itself as time went on. Colthor sat in his seat, his hand bent, his elbow supported by the armrest and his head resting gently in it. He appeared to stare outside the window, admiring the landscape that revealed itself gradually to him. However, a smirk across his face revealed his focus on a more malicious task. His other hand wrapped tightly around the tip of his wand and shoved deeply into the cushion in his seat, the glow of the crystal on top would have been hidden to all those present. This indicated he was in the middle of casting or maintaining a spell, namely keeping the doors of the carriage locked with his mind so there was no way Amy could leave.

Occasionally during the journey, he would say something along the lines of admiring the terrain that swept by them, or asked her if she was comfortable, but most of the time he left her to her own devices. He knew how the human mind worked and he would let it work. Most of all though, he knew pretty much how Amy's mind worked and it would give her doubts but eventually confirm that this was the best course of action for her.

When the carriage finally creaked to a halt, it was with a smile that the elf deactivated his spell and opened the door, before rushing to the other side and opening the door for her. He held his arm out for her in a similar manner, this time watching as she was only too happy to get out of the cramped carriage.

"This, Amy," Colthor said slowly, widening his arms to indicate the area that stood before them. It was a grand fortress, there was no other way to describe it. Surrounded by mountains on all sides, it seemed to almost blend into this area. "Is Erebus."

He turned to her, a smile forming on his face once again.

"Your new home."

[Amy]

The girl had have a mind to take out one of her knives and to scrap off the gold from the walls itself. The interior of the carriage was beautiful, far more so than Amy could have possibly guessed. Between what the elf was wearing, and this carriage he obviously owned, she probably could have fixed up the house that she was using currently as her home and renovated most of her room. She almost seemed to sink into the soft seat, running her hands and feelings the artistic armrests.

She tried to not talk to the elf who was sitting next to her. Before, she at the very least seemed to blend into the surrounding somewhat. In this carriage, she would probably leave a small stain from the dirt on her pants and legs. Part of her wanted to leave this carriage, worried that whatever happened would not end well for the girl. Another part, the stronger part of her was more optimistic. She probably wasn't some sort of magical princess that they needed, but rather she was someone they needed. She giggled, covering her mouth and looking the other way of the elf. It felt good to be recognized as someone great.

A few failed attempts at conversation from the elf and a long ride later, it began to stop. The girl got out by taking the elf's hand again, following the elf and gazing up in wonder at the mountain castle. She probably wouldn't have noticed it had it not been for the elf pointing it out, but now that he had it stuck out like a thumb. Her more tactical side of her mind liked the place. If attacked, they could hold out for as long as possible. The mountains protected them from possibly even Pegasus knights, and she'd bet the shirt on her back there was some sort of escape route through the mountains.

The girl nearly stumbled as the blood began to flow back to her legs. She couldn't tell if she had dozed off or not throughout the trip, but the numb feeling in her arm gave some sort of indication. She walked forward, following the leader as she did so. Her visions of golden floors and filigrees on every wall fell short as they made their way through the great fortress. The rooms she passed and halls she walked trough, while decorated slightly, were mainly almost entirely for show.

She soon lost track of the way there were going. Not that it mattered, they eventually came to a larger door, one that seemed far more imposing than the others. The elf stopped here, being the perfect gentleman once again and offering for the girl to step in. She moved forward, stepping through the doorway and into the Grander's Room.

[Raelyse]

For all of Erik Colthor's swagger, pride and confidence, there was one man who outshone him easily in all of those aspects. Compared to him, the elf was nothing but an apprentice, all of those emotions, all of that facade, it was nothing compared to that of Raelyse Salidan, his leader in the Grander's Order. This was a man who was the embodiment of pride itself, there was nothing mortal that could touch or faze him. He was one who much greater than Colthor was. Everything about him demonstrated it.

As he stood inside his bathroom grooming his silver hair into perfection, his entire world appeared to freeze. Every single strand was significant to him, every one must be in place for him to attain the flawlessness that he deserved. His body was still wet, the prince having just washed. He only wore a tight pair of leather pants which hugged his waist, revealing his lean body, his toned arms and perfect figure. When he felt that he could do no more, the prince stood up straight and just gazed at the reflection that stared back at him. His hair could not be more perfect, just like the rest of his body.

The sound of the doors leading to his room closing shut meant that Colthor had brought back the girl for him. It had been sooner than originally expected, but Raelyse didn't mind. It just meant he would have to wait less, which made him all the happier. With a smirk, he grabbed his cane that lay against the sink and moved towards his main chambers, a smirk seemingly permanently formed across his face.

The doors swung open and instantly Raelyse's nose picked up a foreign scent that he had never smelt before. It was fragrant, yet not entirely pleasant to his senses. Instinctively, his head cocked in its direction.

His smirk widened and a soft chuckle escaped his lips when his eyes feasted on the girl before him.

"You're the one?"

[Amy]

The girl crossed her arms in front of her chest, looking around the room, ignoring the feeling of envy that she had for whoever lived there. The carrige had been enough to make the girl nearly hate her reletivly low birth. She was high enough, her father probably reaching the level of a very small Lord, though it wasn't like he would be remembered for too much. Especially without some sort of war to earn fame. Everything he did was turned over to someone he worked for, and while he didn't truly suffer, he could have been quite a bit better off than he was. His daughter as well.

She was almost about to take a seat when someone else entered the room. Amowyn's thoughts were torn by a few diffrent bells that went off in her head. One of which being that the man in front of her could have been one of the most handsome men she had ever seen. Another, in relation to that, went off as saying that he was probably also gay as well. Despite, she did manage to come to a single conclusion, that he was most likely the leader of the Grander's Order, in one piece and in person.

The girl stammered for a moment, trying to find some sort of work to say to the man that was in front of her. Part of her was angry at the elf, who was just a simple flunky in comparision to the man in front of her. Though, most of her simply wished to know more about this group. Magic was her greatest love, something she doubted would ever be usurped by any other thing or person. This man in front of her was her road to that fulfilling that desire.

"Are you," the girl began, speaking slowly. She blushed a little, looking away from the man's face a little. She hesitated, trying to find the word to say what she wanted. "Who are you?"

[Raelyse]

As the girls lips parted and he heard her voice for the first time, a myriad of stimuli bombarded the prince for a moment. Every single one of his senses began to move into overload, scanning and understanding everything that Raelyse had known about this girl in the first few moments that he had realized her existence. It was then that a single thought rang in his mind.

It was accompanied by an involuntary snort followed by a soft chuckle to himself. He could not help himself. He could not believe that this was the girl that Colthor had spoken so fondly of. The elf had gone on and on, saying how she had more potential than most in the Order and properly harnessed, she could become even greater than some of the officers here. All rubbish, he began to realize. As she finished her short question, the prince leaned backwards, using his cane for support and crossed his free arm across his chest, raising his eyebrow as if challenging the girl before him.

"You sure you don't know who I am?" the prince said half sarcastically. Somewhere in him, he knew that he wasn't that big in Althanas yet but the cocky bastard within him told him that he was a prince, for goodness sake. Royalty wasn't exactly common, especially in forsaken Alerar. "I'll indulge you then," he said, his lips parting after that statement to reveal a row of perfectly aligned, perfectly cleaned teeth.

"I am Prince Raelyse Salidan of Myrusia and leader of the power group which inhabits and controls the very ground that you're standing on at the moment."

At this moment, the prince began to feel a sense of boredom creep up on him. A few short moments later, a thought crept into his head. It was time for some fun. It was time to indulge Colthor, this girl but most importantly of all, himself.

Slowly, Raelyse unfolded his arm and began to walk slowly around her, watching as the girl shifted uneasily on the balls of her feet. "Amowyn Kristel, right? I hear that you have a lust... A lust that can only be quenched by people like myself..."

At that statement, the prince leant forward as if to kiss her squarely on the lips but quickly withdrew, smirking softly to himself as he reverted to his original position, pacing slowly around her.

"The only thing is - I realize that you have a lust for more than one thing."

Raelyse watched as the girl eyed him.

"Luckily for you though, I'm a kind prince and I'm more than happy to..."

A smirk formed across his face as he slowly mouthed the word before saying it out loudly, slowly pronouncing the two syllables.

"... Appease."

[Amy]

The girl began to regain her bearings in the room, occupied only by the leader of the group she just recently apparently joined. She had managed to gather a few different veiws about the power group. It probably would be able to help her, that much was rather obvious. If the group did not so much as have a good enough wizard or mage to help her, then she could hopefully get the elf who helped her to teach her. Magic was, after all, the main reason why she didn't continue to run from the elf back in that ally. Never mind that she was caught, she wouldn't have submitted without some sort of good promise. Sides, from her experience rapers didn't go to such lavish lengths to get a girl.

She stood still, feeling the man's eyes on her as if it were a blade lazily traveling on her skin, just barely not enough pressure to cut the skin. It was almost hard to concentrate with the man circling her while she stood still. She felt almost like a show dog getting judged by people in a contest. Given by what she thought was going on in the man's mind, she wouldn't be too terribly surprised if she was the bitch in the dog show.

She back up a step or two, putting space between them and letting the girl think. It wasn't just having the man there, but also the fact she was sure that he was wearing something like perfume. She smiled slightly at that, the shyness leaving the girl quickly as she did so. "I can say it's nice to meet you at least," she said, smiling more confidently as she got over the sudden shock of meeting the man.

"So then, what do you want to appease Ralse," Amy continued, unsure of how she was pronouncing the man's name. She looked up at the man, aware of the rather drastic height difference between the two. Her smile became almost naive in a way as she decided to continue the Grander's game. "Or is it something my imagination should figure out?"

[Raelyse]

The respect that the newest entrant to his quarters was giving him was appeasing Raelyse, though the sudden mispronunciation of his name made that vanquish almost instantly. His eyebrow twitched in annoyance, though he quickly dismissed that to revert to his facade of pride. He took one step backward, allowing the girl to examine him in greater depth and her to him. The prince was much taller than her and was able to easily examine her.

Her body appeared to be quite athletic, probably from years of running away from law enforcers conditioning her body. As his eyes began to wander from those features to her more feminine ones, he began to notice that she had quite a matured body, despite the reports that Colthor had given him. Cloth shifted outwards in all the right places for a woman, though not excessively so. In fact, Raelyse began to notice that her body appeared to be almost contoured to his deepest desires. He felt that he had never seen a woman like her before, particularly one of her age and this excited him. The thought of a woman that not everyone would find attractive by his side did not seem like an attractive one to him, but that was quickly outweighed by the thought of having one that seemed to be almost created for his personal preference.

He quickly shook his head subtly, a confident smirk now spreading across his face.

"Take a step back, Amy," the prince said, the voices barely a whisper, barely pronounced by his tongue. "Why don't you show me how someone of your 'pedigree' manages to steal so effectively that the Grander's Order notices you?"

[Amy]

The girl began to follow the Grander's requests, watching him carefully as she could. She knew what he was feeling at least. Despite her youth she was well aware that she was pretty, even if she couldn't use it as well and many of the other girls of her beauty. When she lived in Corone, many of the more formal arrangements didn't end well for the girl, often with some sort of mistake for her date. Dancing she was fine, but whenever she had to sit sill for a long time to make simple small talk she fumbled and dropped the ball. It wasn't that she didn't enjoy it, but her vocabulary was limited to merely three or four ways to say the weather's nice.

"But what, oh great leader, should I steal?" she replied to him. Her voice contained no hint of sarcasm or even a drip of malice. She was genuinely interested in this strange man. Anyone who could command possibly a series of people like the elf deserved at least an interview. Though, the girl was far more sure she should be on the defensive side now. "What would steal? Jewelry? The curtains? Your pants?"

She giggled softly, realizing that she might have gone a bit far with the last remark. Either way, whether she'd get tossed out or brought in it didn't matter to the magician in the long run. She was fine with her life as it was going. Though, the prospect of learning the magic and the ways of this strange group intrigued her. It wasn't often she had any real support she could count on consistently. The thought of it enough as a good reason to wonder.

"So what shall I do to please you my captain?"

[Raelyse]

For whatever reason, the prince of Myrusia was being uncharacteristically quiet. While the girls' damp, thin lips separated and joined again, revealing the tongue which enunciated her immature moves ever so briefly. It was only then that Raelyse realized that he was staring, his eyes transfixed on the girl that stood before him, in his own bedroom. For a moment, he forgot why he had let a girl this young into his personal quarters. This was his sanctum. Then he realized, this was the supposed prodigal daughter of one of his most trusted underlings, the talented Erik Colthor. But the more time she spent in his room, the more time his eyes were engaged on those features of her's, the more the prince found himself... not caring about the Grander's Order.

It was also then that another fact become known to the prince, he had not moved in quite some time. While a few short moments ago, he was circling her, examining her like a vulture admiring carrion, he had now stopped, examining her from her left. Even though the circling had stopped, the examining surely hadn't and this vulture seemed to grow hungrier and hungrier for his prey with every passing moment.

"Captain?" the prince blurted, surprised that she would assume he held such a lowly title. He had not interrupted her in mid-sentence, a quite rare occurrence for the normally impatient prince. It was usually nigh impossible to get a word in when attempting to communicate with Raelyse. "I am no Captain. I am the Grander."

The prince paused for a moment, his usual self resurfacing to show off, his perfectly white teeth beneath his lips, twisted into a confident smirk. His eyes matched the rest of his face, looking down at Amy condescendingly, as if she were already his servant.

"Well, while your first two thieving targets sound promising, I assure you that the third is the most valuable of the three," he said, taking another step forward so that she was no more than a pace away. His bigger frame hunched and shrank slightly as he slumped down, sliding into a more comfortable position as he eased the pressure on his cane. "By far."

Subconsciously, the prince's tongue broke through his lips, licking the top one subtly and gently.

"Why don't you steal what's beneath the pants, then?"

[Amy]

((Sorry this took so long))

The girl smiled coyly at the prince, rising onto the balls of her feet before rocking back. It was rather strange for her to be this at ease in an unfamiliar place. Most other times she would have done everything to try and escape, or at least hurt the man in front of her. The magician had done it before, when she had first come to Alerar. He staff never left her hand for the first few days after getting off the ship that brought her there. Then again, being a stowaway on the ship wasn't the greatest way to begin her tenure in Alerar, but the gold that was going to be a ticket went to the girls magic. A very fair trade, considering she got to Alerar relatively safely and smelling of oranges from hiding in the cargo hold as a cabin boy.

She fell back on her heels, bouncing softly and gracefully in the room. She stepped make, the coy smile widening of her cherubic face. It was almost awkward now, though it bordered closer to a rather odd interview a bit closer, though the girl was enjoying it greatly. There wasn't much danger her, and this man in front of her would get more than a couple licks if he tried to hurt the girl. At least in the non fun ways. Still, a thought that had been nagging the girl for a bit began to drift towards the front of her mind, prompting her to indulge in it.

"But I cannot!" The girl said, mocking drama as she spoke. She spread her arms, as much to grab the Grander in front of her as to show her shock. She hugged the man in front of her almost like she was clinging than holding him, though her body was still pressed lightly against his. "I'm just a poor girl, and not even part of the great Grander Order. I couldn't be of any value to someone as great as you without help."

The magician's head blocked her own smile as it rested on his shoulder lightly. Staying forever and being a part of the Order wasn't very high on her list of priorities. Though, the magic she could learn and the large amount of valuables she could steal was more then enough to sway her opinion. Not that it mattered either way. She was living relatively well before the elf had picked her up, and she could go back.

[Raelyse]

It wasn't often that the prince found himself amused by strangers, especially ones that still managed to retain their dignity. But in this young lass, the prince was finding that she was more than entertaining him, she was capturing his attention and his imagination. A sly smile crossed his face as he slithered like a snake from her grasp, a task much easier than it seemed, taking a few steps backwards and leaning heavily on his cane, his eyes running along the length of her torso, to her face and finally down to the ends of her hair. Yes, Raelyse was enthralled.

"Keep that up," he finally said when his elegant red lips finally parted. "And you can introduce yourself as a member of the Grander's Order, a privilege reserved, a privilege earned and a privilege coveted."

The prince allowed his smile to grow wider at this point, though he probably would not have been able to resist it at this point. He raised his free hand, his left hand and clicked his fingers together loudly.

A moment later, the entrance to his chambers swung open and a certain blonde elf stood at the entrance, grinning sheepishly from ear to ear. Colthor was content in the knowledge that he had amused his leader and that would only put him in his good books, even though the period of that emotion probably would not last very long when the novelty of Amy wore off. Still...

"Colthor," the prince said, though his eyes did not leave the body of the pretty young girl in front of him. "Find your... 'prodigy' some quarters, some uniform and you know what other things you need to give our female members."

Raelyse did not wait for the elf to execute his orders, instead dismissing him with a wave of his hand before moving towards his bathroom, reaching for his water and splashing across his handsome face, glancing into the mirror and throwing a narcissistic wink at his reflection.

The prince of Myrusia thought of his clan, his followers and the rewards that they could give him. Power and money seemed to be the two most obvious spoils but as his mind continued to work, he realized that in subordinates like Amy, he would get a resources that came a close third.

Entertainment. For Raelyse derived so much pleasure from amusing himself from others. Even if she only lasted a short while, the prince knew she would be worth it.

They always were, he thought lewdly to himself before smirking at the mirror and undressing.

"It's good to be Grander."

[INDK]

Well, this was a fair enough thread, but I don’t think it really did justice to the capabilities of either writer.

And the total is 58

Storyline

Continuity: 8. The premise of the story was simple enough, and everyone had their rationale. I also thought that you guys set it up quite well.

Setting: 4. I didn’t like this at all. This adventure didn’t really seem to fit in Ettermire, and many times I felt like there should have been more interaction here between the world around them and the characters. At the very least, the setting needed to be accounted for better.

Pacing: 6. I like the way that it started out, with a small mini action scene that gave nothing away, yet offered promise of an exciting adventure. However, the pacing of this thread suffered from one important problem. The Grander’s Order was put over as something so powerful that there didn’t really seem to be much of a challenge until the climax of this thread. It may have made for a better climax, but for the most of the thread, I didn’t really feel any sense of doubt. Granted, we often know the protagonist is going to come out in the end victorious, the thing is that when the reader is suspending his disbelief, you at least want to make him wondering how the characters are going to get out of their predicaments.

Character

Dialogue: 6. The big difference between the two of you in this thread with regards to dialogue is that Raelyse had a sense of what his character should say, while Amy did not. With Raelyse, I got a sense of his preferred words, mannerisms, etc., as I did with his NPCs. Granted, Amy seems to be a bit more nuanced of a character, but even so, I think you could have done a better job at making her dialogue a bit less schizophrenic.

Action: 5. I was tempted to score this two different ways, one for each of you because of how vast the difference in quality between the two of you was in this category. Amy just seemed to be doing things, whereas things always made sense with Raelyse. Amy, the only thing I can emphasize to you is figure out who your character is. Your scores will increase once that is the case.

Persona: 6. My big problem with Raelyse is that he sometimes seems a bit more of a caricature of himself, than a real person. However, this wasn’t so much of an issue in this thread, given that you used a third person limited style of writing and that a good amount of what Raelyse was doing was presenting himself as he wanted to be seen. Amy, on the other hand, seems to suffer from the exact opposite problem. It seems like she is a very complex character, but you are not yet comfortable with how she should behave.

Writing Style

Mechanics: 7. Ugh… Amy, you really need to work on punctuation. Also, be very careful about repeating phrases soon after one another. There weren’t any real substantial issues otherwise, though I tend not to be picky in this category as long as mechanical flaws do not interrupt the flow of the story.

Techniques: 5. There were techniques used here, though they were generally limited to simple metaphor. I would offer more commentary, but the big thing here seemed not as much that you tried and failed to incorporate literary devices, but that you didn’t try.

Clarity: 6. Avoiding run on sentences will help you in this category.

Wild Card: 5. This was a fine enough recruitment thread, but it made for a less than compelling adventure.

Spoils
Amy receives 600 EXP and 280 GP
Raelyse receives 2350 EXP and 280 GP

[Cyrus the virus]

EXP added!