A Forest! Wow... (Closed)

[Iriah Caitrak]

Ira sighed rather dreamily as her legs continued to carry her into Concordia forest. It was beautiful and unlike anything she’d ever seen before, which was true, in Fallien there were no forests, the occasional tree here and there, maybe a few, but nothing like this. There were hundreds of them, thousands of them so many she couldn’t count all of them as they blended together in this wonderful mix of green and brown. It was intoxicating and wonderful surrounded with the smell of damp, musty soil and rotting leaves, yet to have the cool, crisp sunshine every so often lightly touches your face as it breaks through the canopy.

Absolutely amazing.

There were also animals she’d never seen before here, large four legged beasts that bounded off in herds every time she came too close to them. Some of them sported horns on their heads, while others had shiny brown coats to blend into the scenery and she could barely discern them until they started moving. And unlike her, they barely made a sound as their feet touched the forest floor, she was crunching dried leaves and snapping small twigs with nearly every step she took, it would almost be a miracle not to make any sound in this place.

Still, that last village she’d stopped in, some of the villagers she’d talked to had warned her to actually not come in here, babbling stuff about it not being safe in certain areas. She could take care of herself, really, what could possibly happen in such a beautiful forest such as this? There must be the occasional wild animal and yeah that was always a threat, but hey, she could get killed by one of the desert cats that roam around in Fallien, but that had yet to occur, so a quiet little forest like this had little to worry her.

It did make one wonder.

Perhaps there were ruins hidden deep within the darker parts of the forest where light was unable to find its way through the canopy. Monsters with grotesque bodies and shrivelled limbs awaited any who dared to come near their sacred altar and their treasure.

And now her imagination was beginning to run away from her. Clearly, she’d read too much as a child.

Ira stopped dead in her tracks; she could sense a soul close by her. Even here in this place the dead were always around, even here in this place she couldn’t sit quietly and just enjoy herself.

Leaning against a tree, Ira waited a few minutes for the soul to enter her view, a girl around the age of 12. She looked like a farmers daughter, a well cared for one and she seemed to be looking for something. She stopped and stared at Ira and Ira just starred right back.

“You can see me?” She asked.

She had a cute voice, somewhere between a girl and a young woman.

“You’re used to people who look right through you, aren’t you?”

The girl nodded.

“What are you doing in these woods?” Ira asked.

“Well, I was out for a walk with some friends and some of us got separated and lost, then night came, it got cold and it started raining…when I woke up…”

Ira sighed and pushed off the tree, “You were dead, you’d died in your sleep, most likely from exposure, you probably froze to death.”

The girl stiffened a little, “You don’t have to say it so matter-of-factly, that’s my life you’re talking about so callously.”

Ira remained silent for a moment, she didn’t realize she’d been so callous to the girl and noticed her point. Perhaps dealing with the souls of people made you hardened to their troubles at times, especially when you just wanted to be left alone.

“I’m sorry,” Ira said, “I didn’t realize I was doing it…”

The girl nodded her head, “Why can you see me when I’ve screamed at others and they’ve never even heard me?”

That must be a horrible thing to go through, “Because, I’m different and it’s almost my job to make sure the dead go where they’re suppose to go and right now you’re not doing that. You should be moving on to Sanctuary, or Heaven as you probably know it.”

“But the others…”

“Are most likely already there, if they died, if not they’re back in whatever village you came from.”

“How does one go to Sanctuary?”

“Stop regretting.”

The girl stared at her blankly for a moment, “What, what do you mean?”

“Whatever it is that keeps you in this world, be it seeing your family or finding your friends, just stop regretting the fact that you won’t be seeing them in this world any longer. You can see them again in Sanctuary when it’s their time.”

“Really?”

“What reason do I have to lie to you?”

She never understood how a soul could think she would lie to them. She’s the first person a soul has most likely been able to talk to since they’ve died besides others souls and they doubt her words.

“So I just stop regretting?”

Ira nodded her head; “If you don’t, you’ll eventually be drawn into Purgatory where you’ll slowly lose your humanity and myself, or another Calerian, will send you to Sanctuary by force.”

That made her a little uncomfortable, “I’ll go on my own terms.”

“Safe journey.”

Ira turned and headed deeper into the forest leaving to soul to pass on her regrets by herself. It wasn’t always instantaneous, sometimes it took time for a soul to stop regretting things that happened in the physical world and move on to the next, sometimes it didn’t. Either way it was usually something personal and Ira gave the girl her space so she could find a better place.

Deeper in the forest, Ira found a small glade where the grass grew as tall as her hips and when she brushed her hands along the top of it, it tickled her fingers and her palms. Thee were tall growing plants with flowers of blue, red, pink and purple on them, their petals shimmering in the light of the sun. Bugs with colours she’d only seen dyed into the fabrics of Fallien’s clothes danced through the air to some tune she couldn’t really hear. And the birds sang all on their own, oblivious to one another in a mesh-mash of sound that was somehow harmonic and calming.

When the wind blew through the grass they moved in unison, like a lover responding to the gentle caress of its partner.

In the small field was a grouping of three oak trees, their thick branches swaying close to the ground under their own weight. Walking over towards them, Ira climbed into the shadows it provided and relaxed, one leg dangling over the side, one bent resting on the branch and her back against the trunk, she closed her eyes. Perhaps she could stay here for a little while, a few hours, maybe the night; it wasn’t as if she had anywhere else to go.

[Valentine]

People die, it is the central theme to all worlds. If they are too poor, they die. If they are too sick, they die. If they are too weak, they die. It is cruel but simple, fair yet complex... Hromagh the Strong of the Thayne believed that there were too many people on Althanas that were undeserving of the gift of life. It was then that he took matters into his own hands and did something unheard of before this day, he created his own servant, his Emissary of Balance. He would help the deity where he could not interfere, he would send those that were undeserving of life to the Antifirmament where they would remain, leaving those that were worthy of life.

And yet, despite his new role in life which he performed admirably, the Emissary was still flawed. His personality was too strong, even the influence of one of the Thayne was unable to shatter it. His disciples had strived to erase it, but it soon became apparent that the best they could do was suppress it and inevitably, after time, it began to seep out. It wasn't apparent at first, but his movement patterns began to grow predictable. He was moving towards one place: his old stomping ground, Concordia.

The Emissary of Balance was once known as Kadarus Lien Salidan, a samurai under the tutelage of Tuliran Kjloroman. When he was unleashed upon Althanas, his adventures gained him notoriety and fame in equal amounts, notably because of his well known love of alcohol but also his skill with a katana. He had with. been a wanderer in every sense of the word, moving from continent to continent aimlessly but the one place he would always return to would be the Coronian forest of Concordia, a place where so many of the key moments in his life had occurred.

Kadarus would have smirked if he still had the capacity to do so as his leather boots touched down on the familiar forest floor once more. For a moment, he stood there at the entrance in almost statuesque form, looking over his old domain with eyes that betrayed the emotion that dwelled within. He was a conflicted individual over his new predicament, but Kadarus having been Kade, didn't like to think and for now, he moved with the flow, knowing that by serving a greater purpose than himself would be at least more favorable compared to his aimless wandering of before.

And yet, despite this, he could not help but return to Concordia. When his feet finally started moving, it was with slow and gently grace that the Emissary of Balance moved throughout one of the few places he could really call home. It was deserted, compared to Kade's time when lovers could call it their haven. He had heard rumors of the recent influx of dangerous monsters, but he paid them no heed. This forest was his and he had come back and no creature could stop him. Now that the strength of Hromagh flowed through his veins, there was no mortal creature that could oppose him.

The familiar sights pulled at what remained of the former samurai's heart strings, even the tiniest flowers or the tallest oaks reminding him of the endless hours he would spend here. But it was not the time that he spent here that drove Kadarus back here, for he had spent long hours in almost every corner of Althanas.

It was the people that he had spent that time with.

Then, almost on cue, as if the Hromagh was responding to his thoughts, a sound echoed through the Emissary's ears. Instantly they perked and he turned his head, spying a lone human girl sitting in the plain view.

Another friend... not in this lifetime.

[Iriah Caitrak]

Ira didn’t know how long she’d been in the tree for but she was sure she’d passed out for a few minutes before something disturbed her and forced her from her daydreaming. But she did know she’d been having an awesome dream where she was being chased down by a horde of dragons and this really handsome guy, whose face she couldn’t remember, came to her rescue. Now, Ira wasn’t the girl type that needed to be rescued, but it was always nice to dream about it every now and then, in a real situation like that she would probably end up doing the rescuing.

Sighing, Ira looked around her surroundings wondering what it was that had tickled her senses, she was pretty sure someone was near by but she was much better at sensing souls than people. At first all she could see was the grass gently swaying in the wind but then she noticed a man standing by the edge of the woods looking in her direction.

She didn’t really know what to make of it, from her vantage point he just seemed to be watching her, but he also seemed to be armed to the teeth, just who needed that many weapons? And secondly, was he the kind of person that was going to use those weapons on her or a friendly warrior passing through the area? Ira didn’t know, but either way he’d already spotted her and something gave her in the impressive that this guy was much, much stronger than she was.

His soul also seemed to be in pain, about what she didn’t know.

Jumping down from the branch, Ira hit the ground and literally disappeared into the tall grass before she stood up straight again. She watched towards the silent stranger but stopped a few feet away from him, not wanting to get too close to someone she didn’t know, in case he attacked her. Not that she could run very far, the closer she got to him, the stronger he seemed to be.

This was not a good situation.

Ira cleared her throat, “Is there something I can help you with, or were you just enjoying the scenery while watching me?”

A little rude and a little aggressive, but the guy had been staring at her and for how long she didn’t know. That was the scary part too, the fact that he probably could have snuck up on her and killed her while she was passed out in that tree. She’d have to be more careful from now on.

[Valentine]

The voice pierced the wind, its delicate female quality ringing in Kadarus' ears much longer after it emerged from her mouth. They reminded him, they reminded him of her. She did not sound much like her, but the fact that her voice was female was reminder enough, of times when he was much more carefree. Her skin was dark, as if the sun had rained down on it for years and years. Her voice was slight and despite the content of her speech, he couldn't help but be reminded of times when he would always run into girls like these.

He took a slow step forward, his long black trench coat blowing back in the breeze, revealing the katana and two Murasame that were secured to his belt. This was in addition to the massive broad sword that was strapped to his back. His boots intentionally landed on a large branch, the force of his step so strong that the branch snapped incredibly loudly, causing birds to fly away in fear from their treetop homes. Kadarus paid them no notice, instead brushing off a leaf that had gathered on his legs. His leather pants carried no blemish at all now while above them, his perfectly sculpted torso revealed itself as he took another step closer to the girl. He wore no shirt beneath his trench coat, though his bare body displayed no scars of any sort.

"You cannot help me," he said softly, though in the awkward silence in Concordia it was entirely audible. His voice was filled with restrained inner pain and yet, he still managed to add a tinge of anger in it. "But I can help you."

His left hand pushed back his trench coat, revealing in greater detail the three bladed weapons that were strapped to his waist. He grabbed onto one of the shorter ones, pulling it free from its sheathe and displaying it in full view to his new companion. It was a beautiful sight to behold, its blade was perfectly shined and the light glimmered off it as if it were a mirror. The Emissary spinned it in his hand, revealing the side of it that carried one imperfection. Along the blade, there was a small trickle of red liquid.

He then changed his focus from his weapon to the girl. It would be a shame to bleed her, she was a beautiful little thing. He stared at her with the emotionless gaze he always wore, his yellow eyes filled with pain as they looked into her small, smooth orbs. It would be a shame, indeed.

In one swift, unpredicted move, he cocked his hand backwards, raising the weapon above his shoulder and bringing it down, aiming to slice across her chest, surely a killing blow. The attack had been made so quickly and surprisingly that there was no way that she would have been to avoid it, there was no way that she would be alive.

Yet, as Kadarus brought the weapon up to his chest again, he saw that her legs still stood firm on the ground. It was then that he noticed he heard no scream of terror from her soft pink lips, he heard no sound of flesh being serrated by titanium, he heard nothing except the sound of the fabric surrounding her bust being torn.

"I missed? That's impossible... I never miss..."

[Iriah Caitrak]

The man was good looking, leather pants, open trench coat, defined body, but with every step he took closer to her Ira began to feel more and at unease. There was something about him, the stoic look on his face and the eyes that seemed so sad, the soul crying out in pain. Something was wrong with this guy and she wasn’t sure if she wanted him to get any closer. Even his voice sounded pained and slightly angry.

When he reached into his trench coat and pulled out the blade, Ira stiffened. It was a slightly curved sword of the likes of which she’d never seen before and would have enjoyed examining it, if it weren’t for the fact she was sure he was going to use it on her, however he just stood there examining it until…

Ira looked down at the ripped fabric on her chest, her undergarment and skin showing through the clean cut going diagonally down her clothing. A small cut ran across one of her breasts where the blade had lightly touched her, little drops of blood beginning to well.

”What the hell!?”

She jumped back from the man who had just ‘attacked’ her, or tried to anyway and she didn’t really understand why she wasn’t dead right now. His attack had been so fast she hadn’t even been able to see it, just a blur and the next thing she knew her clothing was ripped.

How the hell was she supposed to defend herself against someone who could attack her so easily and not even care about it? The only thing he seemed upset or perplexed about was the fact that he’d missed, which she was perplexed about too. Maybe he needed to get his eyesight checked or something. Or maybe he was just some crazy and she needed to get out of here as fast as her feet could carry her. But where to, where could she run that he wouldn’t be able to catch up to her.

There was of course one place where his weapons wouldn’t be as effective against her armour and where she could take him and then leave him there to rot.

”Purgatory…”

Ira had never taken a person to Purgatory before to just leave them there to suffer but right now she didn’t see any other choice and though she wasn’t scared of death she had no need to just roll over and die at this guy’s feet.

Using her Cast-Off, Ira watched as the world around the two of them suddenly froze, every sound ceased, every birds stopped in it’s motion of flapping wings and every leaf in the forest was frozen, even the ones falling through the air. Then it all began to melt away, the blue sky began grey and the forest around her, though in the Physical World beautiful and alive, was nothing more than leafless trees with, gnarled hands reaching out for any scrap of flesh or clothing and gaping holes that looked like tormented facing screaming back at her in an never ending cycle of misery waiting for the simple relief of rotting away.

The only thing that ever rotted were the souls in Purgatory though, this scene would never change. The branches would never move unless broken off and no leaf would ever sprout upon them. In this world everything was a shade of grey and everything was trapped between the light and the dark.

Ira and the stranger stood out in this world because of their colour, anything with life had colour, which was why nothing did in Purgatory, unless a Calerian travelled there. Entering Purgatory, Ira’s Irenian Crystal immediately reacted, the armour on her forearm and shin guards was heavier, she now wore a breastplate and her left arm was completely covered in armour with a bent blade protruding out of the side.

[Valentine]

Before the Emissary had even the shortest moment to analyze what had happened, he felt the world around him shift and change. It was something he had not experienced for a long time and yet again, it cast him back into a time when he was much more carefree. Every simple thing that was happening today seemed to point back to that time, those short months ago, when his life was infinitely different. Kadarus could not move, the only thing he could do was watch as the very world around him twist into various shapes, transforming from form to form, color distorting, trees twisting then reforming again... it was all too complicated. He cared not for what was happening, all he knew was that it was happening and he knew why.

This girl, she was an illusionist, much like an old friend from his previous life. He did not have time to dwell on the past however, because his task remained the same. He would have to remove this girl from this plane of existence, for every step that she took, every breath that left her mouth and every thought that was formed in her mind was a sin to the Thayne, to Hromagh the Strong. She did not deserve the gift of life, she should be sent to the Antifirmament where her soul would gain peace.

Even while the transformation was taking place, the former samurai still had perfect control of his body, which led him to believe that his hypothesis was true. This was an illusion and this one was trying to trick him to save her life. It would not work. The very same blade that had failed to cut her would kill her this time. If his slashing was off today, then he would have to demonstrate the skill of his throwing hand. As the world warped around him, the Emissary of Balance took one step back and cocked his hand backwards, taking the Murasame along with him. In one swift movement, he straightened his hand and threw the blade forward, aiming to impale the girl straight in the stomach, where she would surely die. He could not miss a target that big.

The world seemed to slow down from the second the handle of his weapon left his hand, the blade moving in slow motion. Kadarus watched its trajectory, it was aimed perfectly at her belly button was supposed to be and there was no way that she would dodge it. A smile almost crept onto his face as he felt triumph; one blow was two many to kill one enemy in his mind. And yet, just as the blade tip was about to pierce through her clothing and into her soft, smooth skin, her body suddenly moved, or was it his dagger, to the right and the world returned to normal speed again. The dagger flew through the air and crashed into a tree trunk, embedding itself there.

By now, the new world was fully formed, but Kadarus paid it no mind. The only thing that stopped him venting his frustration was the change that the Thayne had placed within him. He stood up straight, his eyes the only medium on his body that were allowed to convey rage. Any traces of pain or suffering had vanished, instead replaced by anger, fueled by his continued frustration at his failings. His right hand thrust to the other side of his waist, his fingers wrapping quickly around the handle of his katana. There was no way he was going to miss with his signature weapon. In one smooth movement, the sound of his blade crashing against his sheathe echoed throughout the entire area as the former samurai revealed his sword.

Its red hue seemed to illuminate the area and the flawless weapon would terrify even the hardiest of men. He raised into the air and in one swift movement, brought it down, across her newly formed breast plate, knowing that there was no armor that could withstand the strength of his katana, his Valentine.

CLANG was the only thing that rang through his ears as his edge of his weapon smashed against the tip of her armour, doing little more than form a blemish of a scratch against it. Kadarus allowed a growl to emerge from his lips, before he brought the blade to his waist level and swung at her again, this time, aiming to cleave her body in two at the waist. This time, the only sound was the sound of his weapon cutting through the air, no solid matter had been touched. A moment later, he spied a small portion of the fabric at her stomach rise into the air, indicating that he had only missed by a little bit.

Encouraged by his near miss, he tried again, this time focusing all of his energy into one strike. He focused completely on the small part of her flesh that was still revealed, he focused on his weapon that he held tightly in both of his hands. Kadarus' muscles tensed as he readied them for action and in one split second, he activated them, sending his weapon singing through the air, his only target was her smooth skinned stomach. The force was so great that it sent the warrior tumbling to his right, even balance had been sacrificed for a killing blow.

He was willing to do everything to primarily kill this unkillable woman and secondarily, to end this stupid illusion along with her. His body tumbled and rolled on the ground and the former samurai ended with his face in the ground. He had not heard anything but was hopeful, knowing that he had put everything into that attack and he would win, he would kill her. As his eyes began to show a tinge of happiness, his neck lifted his head off the ground, to look at the corpse of his newest victim.

She was not a corpse.

She stood there, smug and as alive as she had ever been. The only signs of Kadarus' attack... torn fabric at her stomach area.

[Iriah Caitrak]

Smug, yes and damned happy to be alive. Of course, after he’d continuously failed at killing her Ira had lost any fright that she might have had of this man, even when he pulled out a giant four, foot long sword and tried to cleave her in two. She was beginning to think that he had some major mental issues, that or something else was very wrong—he really should have killed her with those moves and she couldn’t justify it as being luck that his sword didn’t impale her and he did turn her into two halves of herself. The only thing he did do was nick her armour and tear up her shirt even more, which was getting upsetting, she only had a few extras in her rucksack and she really didn’t feel like having to buy or make more clothing.

One ran out of luck very quickly when dealing with someone of his skill, yet…he still couldn’t kill her and it seemed to be upsetting him. He reminded her of a soul that was continuously trying to enter its body again, even with a sword sticking out of his chest. It tugged at the strings of her heart, so he’d tried to kill her, that wasn’t really anything new, in her line of work souls tried to kill her on a daily basis. That girl in the forest who’d so nicely agreed to move on to the next life was the exception; most didn’t believe her and most attacked her.

Moving closer to him, Ira knelt down beside the man.

“Umm, look, I’m not exactly upset or sorry you couldn’t kill me, because frankly I have a lot of stuff to do before I die, but…I don’t know how to exactly comfort you…or help you.”

She placed a comforting hand on his shoulder.

Maybe she really should just leave him here in Purgatory to die, who knows how many people he’d killed in his lifetime, from the looks of it he didn’t seem to have any qualms against taking life. Althanas might be better off if she just put him out of his misery…but she didn’t seem to have the heart to do it, not yet anyway. He reminded her too much of Fallen that just needed to her help. Besides, if he did manage to kill her in this place there would be no escaping it for him, only Calerian’s can bring the living to and from the worlds beyond physical and once she was dead, well, it wouldn’t be too long before the Fallen in here killed him and his weapons wouldn’t work on them.

A person cannot attack a ‘ghost’ or soul with a physical weapon they need something that is enchanted, something that can actually touch the soul. His weapon would just pass right through one and the Fallen would eventually kill him, they never tired, they never ate and they never slept. It would be a sad ending for someone who clearly had worth and value as a warrior, no matter how low he may have fallen.

[Valentine]

As the pride seemed to leak out of the Emissary's body drop by drop, he felt shame for the first time in a long time. His silver hair was now blemished by the dirt and mud of the ground, his once handsome face now covered with soil and bits of grass. His body and clothes were similarly disfigured and yet as Kadarus felt the girl approaching, he found that he really did not have the will, or was it his shame, to get up and continue the fight. His katana still rested in his hand, though that was the extent of his grip. No longer tightly gripped, the weapon could easily slide out of it or be grabbed from his fingertips. He did not show emotion though, because that would be his undoing. He had evolved past that, pitiful feelings did not exist in his mind anymore.

As she kneeled down beside him, Kadarus could feel the very heat emanate from her body, her warm body actually feeling as if it comforted him. He had not had a good look at her face, at her body; he had been too intent on ending it. But now that he did not feel like moving, or maybe he could not move, he could not tell, he could feel a genuine sense of something coming from this woman. It was significant and he had never noticed anything like this before. It was almost as if she was reverberating and Kadarus was picking up these vibrations.

Her words and her voice only served to intoxicate the Emissary even further. Even the feeling of her breath on his body weakened them, making them shake and vibrate to the point that he could barely move. His face was still deep in the ground, his hair covering all of his features from view. He refused to get up, he would not in this state. There was something about this woman that would not let him do what he did best, what he was chosen to do. His left hand clenched into a tight fist, his whole hand vibrating as he did so. It was obvious, but then again, this was a who had avoided his strikes as if they were nothing, from an amateur.

"You're lying," he said bluntly, underneath his breath. It would not have come out entirely audible seeing as his mouth was deep in mud, but he was sure she still managed to hear, if even just a little bit. "Everyone is afraid of death. I can sense it in you."

With that, the Emissary of Balance used the last of his strength to push himself up to his knees and swung his fist straight into the girl's face, his knuckles seemingly on course for her face. It was inches away, he could see it, they would soon touch her fragile nose and break it into a million pieces. And yet, that was the extent of where it would go.

His fist stayed there and no matter how much he pushed, his yellow eyes saw nothing break. His fist vibrated and pulsed with energy, seemingly stopped by an invisible barrier inches away from her face. His eyes winced and entire body began to throb, especially his left hand.

A few seconds later, an intense pain ran through his entire body, causing him to cock his head back and let out a soft yelp of pain. When it was over, his entire body just lost the will to carry on and fell to the ground, supported only by his palms. They held him up, but in a poor fashion. They still throbbed with pain, he still throbbed with pain and the only one who should be feeling it should be her.

"What's happening? Who are you?"

He then realized that his entire posture was now in a shape that appeared as if he had crawled here and he was at her feet. Kadarus felt the anger well up inside him and yet... he could not emote it. Not yet.

This was not the time. She was not the one.

[Iriah Caitrak]

Ira was not surprised when he was unable to punch her. It seemed that any kind of harm this man tried to bestow upon her was ineffective. She didn’t know why and he clearly did not know either, she was just glad it was so. Having her nose broken was not appealing, she preferred it the way it was. However, the intense pain he suddenly went through did surprise her, his crying making her jump a little, it reminded her of corruption though it seemed to be nothing like it.

Just what the heck was wrong with this guy?

Nothing she said to him was going to make any kind of difference, she’d tried twice now to see if she could help him and both times she had been shot down by his snotty remarks. Was he too prideful to accept it or did he really believe that in this state he didn’t need any?

“Look, a person who fears death fears the unknown, a person who knows what is out there shall never fear it, but only fear what they have accomplished as their time draws near.”

It was probably falling on deaf ears, how could she fear death? Her job was to direct souls to their rightful resting grounds; she knew exactly what lay beyond her mortal shell, though she had yet to see it. She just knew that there was much more out there in the world that she needed and wanted to see and more for her to do before her time came. She feared not completing her tasks; whatever they may be for her road was not yet open.

Reaching down, Ira picked the man’s sword from his hand, his grasp light against it and yielding without her having to use any force. The blade was extremely long, longer than any sword she’d ever seen before and the curvature was beautiful, though he’d used it too fast for her eyes to see, she was sure it cut through the air gracefully. It was a little on the heavy side and would take Ira quite some time to get used to wielding something such as this.

Studying it for a while, Ira made an exact copy of the sword in her other hand, though hers was lighter and of a weaker material, it nonetheless looked exactly the same, even down to the red hue the blade had.

Standing up, Ira looked down at the man on his hands and knees. He reminded her of a servant, begging for something from its master, but she was no master and he was no servant.

“I know not what is happening to you, stranger, however I do know that if you do not have the strength to wield this blade anymore I shall gladly take it off your hands.” Ira let go of the copy she’d made of his weapon, it touched the ground, clanged and then disappeared as if it never were, though she still held on to his, “Perhaps it best to put you out of your misery too…do you fear death? Do you cling to an unendurable life? Will there be fear in your eyes in that last second like the eyes of so many people you have killed, or instead will there be peace knowing that your long road is over?”

Ira had no idea if he’d actually want her to kill him, she doubted it, but in case he did she had nothing against removing his head from his shoulders, if she felt like being merciful. If not she could leave him here to be mauled by the Fallen, which were getting closer to their position sensing most likely her presence. The Irenian crystal reacted to this and a scrap of black material covered her face from the bridge of her nose down to conceal her identity from the lost souls here.

[Valentine]

His entire body shook in horror, in pain, in a mixture of all emotions that were coursing through his body at this moment in time. His hands could barely support the weight of his well built upper body, his nerves causing them to vibrate uncontrollably. His pupils dilated, his knees buckled and his feet fell to the ground. But the worst feeling of all was that Kadarus did not know what was happening, he did not know why his Thayne given talents were failing him now. He managed to change his body structure so that he now looked in her in the face, his eyes blinking in a poor attempt to cover his changed eyes from view.

"You... You didn't answer my question..." The former samurai just managed to spit out of his lips. The adamantine broad sword on his back began to feel heavy now for the first time since he had first picked it up. His daggers strapped to his waist suddenly became very uncomfortable. In one swift movement, he threw off his trench coat and his sword along with it, then undid his belt and shrugged his leather pants along with them. He crawled on the floor, his naked body now brushing against all the mud and grass along the floor. His eyes never left her's though, those small orbs almost mesmerizing him. He had no other choice, there was only one thing to do.

"Milady... I have relinquished everything I own," the Emissary spoke as his naked body crawled along the ground towards her feet. His eyes displayed more pain than ever before now, his entire body throbbing and vibrating much more violently than before. "He said that one day there would be one, he said that one day there would be one, he said that one day there would be one..."

That same phrase repeated from his lips over and over again with each time they came out from his mouth more emotive than the last until he screamed it. He shouted it at the top of his lungs, "HE SAID THAT ONE DAY THERE WOULD BE ONE!" At this, he collapsed at her feet, his two hands on either side of them... He wrapped them gently around her shins, his face now against it.

It was a pitiful sight, the Valentine Bleeder reduced to relinquishing his clothes and his weapons and now sniveling in front of a woman. But she was no ordinary girl as Kadarus would soon find out. The only form of dignity that he held now was there were no tears in his eyes, for Hromagh believed that that was the surest sign of weakness and even in defeat, none of his servants would display such a pitiful characteristic.

Kadarus spoke again, this time slower and softer, though it grew in volume again. "He said that one day there would be one..."

His voice did not change in tone though, he still talked in the same, painful way as if the words had to be forced from his brain and into his mouth. But there was no other way, he was in a state of distress that he did not know how to get out of.

The Emissary of Balance would not die today.

At least in a literal sense.

[Iriah Caitrak]

It was disturbing, the words he kept repeating over and over again sent shivers down her spine and made the hairs on the back of her neck stand on end. She didn’t know what he prattling on and on about…but something, whatever it was, every instinct inside of her was on edge and she didn’t even know why. It was as if she were sensing something she didn’t fully comprehend, something she was as of yet unaware of. And shrugging out of his clothing, he was before her completely naked.

Ira stepped back, forcing him to release his hold on her legs, she did not want him grasping at her as if he were an animal, it was uncomfortable and she couldn’t imagine how it damaged his pride.

“You are right though, I didn’t answer your question, I do not speak my name aloud in this place for I know not who may be listening and I suggest you never say yours as well.”

She knelt back down to face him again, brushing some of his silver hair away from his face. His eyes were a strange shade of yellow and during this altercation she’d noticed they were the only part of him that showed much in the way of emotion besides the painful sounds which had escaped his throat earlier. She changed her eyes to the same colour of yellow as his then she shrugged out of her rucksack and reached inside; pulling out one of her blankets she placed it over his prone form. As much as he had a nice butt, now was not the time to appreciate it.

A branch snapped nearby and Ira twisted her head around to see the grey forms of Fallen moving closer to their position. Just a few of them, she hadn’t sensed many here to begin with. Their misshapen forms crawling across the ground like shadows of a greater, more powerful creature. Withered darkened skin and red eyes.

Ira let off a string of curses in Fallien the man before her probably didn’t understand.

“Stay here, I’ll be back in a moment…”

She stood and realized she was still holding his sword, turning the tip of it around to face the earth, she thrust it into the dried soil, the sharpness of the blade allowing it to easily slide through. She really wanted to learn how to use that thing.

Walking away, Ira formed her swallow then broke it half. She was not in a mood to deal with Fallen now; she was not in a mood to give the usual speech about the afterlife and how it could be much better than this. She just wanted to deal with these Fallen and get it over with. These ones didn’t even bother with the usual banter about how they didn’t deserve to die and how they just wanted to live again; they just attacked her far too gone from their humanity to understand anything communicated but the blade.

The first one jumped at her from one of the trees, but she easily stepped aside, spun around and stabbed him through the chest. He let out a strangle sound before his body disappeared leaving a red and black butterfly, then leaving nothing. The other three stopped for a moment before two of them came at her at once. The first one sliced at her with long claws protruding from a gnarled hand, Ira cut his hand off. The second lunged at her vulnerable back but she could sense his presence and turned around, meeting his body with the tip of her blade, through the stomach, then her other hand came around and sliced him across the chest.

Fighting these guys reminded her of a delicate dance.

The other two backed up away from her as if to flee, but Ira didn’t give them the chance, she charged them and attacked. A well placed kick sent one of them spiralling into a tree while the other one parried a thrust from her blade, she smacked him across the face with the blunt end then ran him through before turning around and finishing off the last one with a slice that would have come close to severing a normal human in half.

Once the last of them completely disappeared an intense pain wracked Ira and she fell to her knees, dropping her weapons and clutching her head.

”No, not again…it can’t be happening again!”

Every muscle in her body ceased up and she couldn’t find the strength the move, but the pain quickly passed and Ira let out a relieved breath. She looked down at the Irenian Crystal embedded in the centre of her breastplate, an extremely small spot of red beginning to form in the centre of it where before there had been none. Releasing those four souls had done little to corrupt her yet she’d still felt the pain. She didn’t understand it, but she didn’t have time to contemplate it right now. Standing up, Ira walked back to the stranger; perhaps it was time to get the two of them out of Purgatory.

[Valentine]

She moved and his pillar to lean on shifted along with it. His face landed in the dirt once more, soiling it again. He moaned in pain, though it was more a dramatization than anything else. By now, all of the throbbing or vibrating of his body had gone, replaced instead by the emotional pain that he would soon suffer. He had been defeated by someone who barely looked like she had the strength to do much of anything. This was the moment, this was the moment that Hromagh and his disciples had spoke of. He barely remembered it and any efforts that he made to try to recall that incident was rewarded with strong feelings of deja vu but nothing concrete.

Deep within his shell, Kadarus felt his willpower sap from his body. He barely even had the strength to raise his head, yet he knew that his muscles had done little today. It was his mind, his emotions... he thought that he had lost them when Hromagh had transformed him from the drunken samurai wanderer to the Emissary of Balance, but it appeared that they still existed, dormant within him. And now, they were beginning to force their way out. It was just ironic that instead of feelings like anger or joy, it was hopelessness that emerged first.

For the first time since that transformation, he had no confidence, he had no will to carry on. He had been defeated. The only thing in his entire life that he had been good at, fighting and killing people, the thing that had given him purpose, it was nothing now. He had failed. There was nothing, nothing for him any longer.

And yet, something sparked within him. His head tilted just a bit to the side and his eyelids mustered the strength to open, his yellow orbs staring at the girl that he had failed to kill, seemingly now protecting him. Her moves were fluid and every slice with her sword, every instinctive dodge, every twist of her hips, they lay imprinted in his eyes. Her entire body moved along with her, there was not a static muscle as she twirled and fought off her foes. Kadarus could not bear it, he tried to shut his eyes but something stopped him and he was forced to endure the sight of her. He could barely stand it. Everything about her drove him wild. Her purple hair, her eyes, her dark yet smooth skin, her lips, her nose... even her ears were imprinted on his memory.

"Why?" he mouthed, not really sure whether any sound emitted or not. "Tell me."

By now she had returned and was standing above him once more, though her guard was considerably higher, perhaps on the look out for more of those hideous monsters. Kadarus took this as an opportunity to try and find answers, to see why he was inadequate.

Now that he could possibly get something that he wanted, he found that he had the strength once more. Tilting his head upwards and looking at her, he spoke once more.

"Tell me why..."

[Iriah Caitrak]

Ira looked down at the stranger; he was imploring her to answer a question she had no answer to. Why did he expect her to know? She knew absolutely nothing about him and even less about why he wasn’t able to kill her.

“You’re asking the wrong person that question, siahd.” She used her tribe’s word for stranger, “Perhaps you should be looking within yourself and asking that very question. Travel to your soul, siahd.”

Looking away from him Ira scanned the barren landscape frozen in it’s place, she didn’t see anything moving out there and she didn’t feel any Fallen but she had a bad feeling. There were bound to be other Fallen nearby attracted by the battle and the presence of two living beings, either they were too far away for her to sense or they were like the one she’d fought before she left her village and could mask their presence. She hoped not, she never wanted to deal with another one of them again, yet she still had to track down the one called Metran even though she wasn’t strong enough to kill him.

She’d most likely die by his hand if she went to fight him now.

“Right now, I think we need to leave Purgatory and get back to the Physical World, it’s not good to linger long in this plane, especially for one who isn’t a Calerian.”

Ira didn’t know what kind of effect being in Purgatory could have on a normal person—not that this guy was normal—but she didn’t want to chance any adverse side effects, especially now that she’d decided she wasn’t going to kill him. He seemed to be standing upon the precipice of something and more than needing to be put out of his misery he needed help and he needed some kind of understanding of what was going on, though the latter she probably couldn’t help him with at all…unless.

”Travel to your soul, siahd.”

That she could help him with, but she didn’t know if people who weren’t Calerian’s could travel to their soul and she also didn’t know if that would even help him.

She’d worry about that later though; right now she just wanted to return to a place that possessed colour and life. Walking passed him, Ira picked up his pants and belt of weapons, tossing them in his direction, she walked over to his coat and looked down at the large sword lying on top of it and thought again about even trying to lift that thing, it was not within her strength. No worries though, it would be brought back when she used to Cast-Off, but the least the guy could do was put some pants on.

Moving closer to him, Ira summoned up the Physical World with a quick thought and watched as Purgatory melted away, replaced by vibrant colours that seemed even more beautiful than before she’d left, most likely because there had been an absence of them in Purgatory. Back in the Physical World, the smells of the forest and the sounds of the animals assaulted Ira’s senses and she found herself standing in the field not too far from where they’d originally entered, the wind picking up and brushing the grass against her skin tickling it. It felt good to be in a place where the wind blew and carried the smells of life with it.

The weapon that she’d taken from him before was still stuck in the ground and Ira quickly retrieved it watching as the light bounced off the mirrored blade. Back here her armour was back to normal, armguards and shin guards and the Irenian Crystal, both of them, hung around her neck by chains resting against the top of her breasts and it was then that Ira remembered her shirt had been cut open revealing said breasts and her undergarment. There wasn’t really anything she could do about that though, she wasn’t about to excuse herself to go get changed and it wasn’t like she had any inhibitions about showing off a little skin, heck she wore as little as possible when the weather got really bad in Fallien.

“By the way, my name is Ira of the house of Shinkara…”

[Valentine]

As his senses started to function once again, the Emissary of Balance was treated to a savage barrage as a sudden influx of the Concordian forest returned to him. It was just like he remembered, only juxtaposed against the black and white world from before, it was that much more vibrant. The birds sang louder, the trees were taller and the flowers were all the more fragrant. His strength was gradually returning itself, only this time he felt at least twice as strong as before. He didn't know whether it was because he had lost it temporarily or because of the effects of whatever that girl had done before. Whatever it was, he didn't care, and all that mattered was that he was nearly himself again.

Shrugging off the clothing which she had thrown on him, Kadarus rose to his feet, picking up a rock that was near him as he did so. As his feet touched the ground and pushed his body upwards, revealing his entire body to the girl before him, the former samurai brought the rock up along with him. It was roughly the same size as his palm and his fingers could barely grasp all the way around it. Still, as his muscles tensed, knew that it was nothing.

"Do not trick me with your questions, woman," he said bluntly, his voice returning to its former pride and power. "This rock is easily twenty times as strong as your head," at that statement, in one swift movement, he closed his entire palm into a tight fist, crushing the rock into a million pieces, causing pieces of shrapnel to fly onto both of their bodies. "And I can crush you without a second thought, if only... you weren't one of them."

Kadarus wasn't entirely sure who the group of people this woman belonged to was, but now that the blood flowed through his brain and his body, he remembered that there were a select group of people, chosen by the Thayne and despite the life they wasted, they cannot be touched. This pain, the loss of his strength; that was his punishment for trying. Now he knew, now he could do nothing further.

"I know who you are and I know why I cannot touch you," he said bluntly. This time his eyes were completely focused on her's, instead of on some little pebble in his hand. His yellow eyes would have scared most people, but something about in her composure indicated she was not at all. "But that doesn't mean I have to like this. You waste your gift of life and return nothing. People like you are pollution to Althanas and the Firmament, do you understand?"

At the sound of her name, which was not familiar in the least, Kadarus did not respond to it... at first. He merely continued to stare at her, his eyes piercing into her's. He could see no fear in them, nor any emotion. He took a few steps further so that less than a foot separated their bodies.

He stretched out his right hand, his palms opening in invitation.

"Your name does not sound familiar and at this point I do not care. But what I would like is my sword back. Now."

[Iriah Caitrak]

The rock didn’t scare her, he didn’t scare her and his words definitely didn’t scare her, though they did intrigue and confuse her. For a man who had been on his knees naught but a few moments ago, he was certainly making a vast recovery and a turn directly in the opposite direction. He was now back to being his old self with a cold face and eyes that bore directly into hers. She changed her eye colour to match his again wondering if that was slightly discouraging to see the same yellow starring back just as unemotionally as his stared towards her.

She doubted it though, the only thing that seemed to affect this man was his ability in killing and he’d already decided why he couldn’t kill her.

”He certain makes up his mind fast…”

However the them he spoke most vehemently about, he must have been talking about her race, and being chosen. So, he couldn’t kill her because she was a Calerian and was some kind of chosen race from the Thayne? Perhaps her people had been hauled up in their isolated section of Fallien for too many moons because she had no idea who the Thayne were but if he served them she wasn’t sure if she ever wanted to meet one.

Looking from him, to his hand, to the sword she held in hers, Ira shrugged and turned the blade around offering the handle to the stranger. She had no intentions of keeping it when she could form any weapon she could imagine with a quick thought, she’d just found in fascinating and had enjoyed the weight of it in her hand, even though she was used to using lighter weapons.

“I don’t want your sword when I can easily make my own.”

After he’d taken the blade from her, Ira proved this by forming an exact replica of his sword. There was no difference in physique, only in structure; his was stronger than hers and most likely more durable as well as heavier. They would both perform the same though.

“I do find it annoying that you have labelled my entire race to be ‘a pollution to Althanas’. You don’t know anything about us or what we do, you just assume because I am standing here before you that I do not deserve to live; yet your ‘Thayne’ clearly thinks there is reason in my existence. Perhaps they have need of someone who can hear, see and speak to the dead and someone who directs the lost souls to their rightful place in the afterlife.

“You on the other hand, need help getting to the afterlife and are a blemish on this land, not me. Life is something to be cherished yet you throw it away walking day by day in what is probably a haze. All you do is take life without thought or cause, just because you think it so, or someone else tells you that that person’s life is not worthy does not make it so, perhaps that person enjoys their life or finds purpose in it. It is not for people to decide, it is not for others to decide, we judge in ourselves if we find purpose in our lives and life is a gift not to be so callously tossed aside.”

Ira turned a repugnant stare at him, why try to be nice any longer to someone such as he? He threw away the one treasure he had in this world, life, and he took that treasure from other people without caring. If she had the strength she would finish him off herself and leave the people of Althanas in peace and without someone that would harm them so.

Walking passed him; Ira reached down and grabbed the blanket she’d covered him with earlier, then her rucksack that was not but a few feet away. Shoving the blanket inside she slid the straps onto her shoulder.

“Good bye, siahd, I hope you come across someone one day who you treats your life in the same respect you have treated others and destroys you for wasting it.”

She kept her back to him as she talked, them moved out of the field and back into the forest. She couldn’t enjoy it’s beauty now not after all that. Her entire day had been ruined, now all she wanted to do was find a nice place to make camp for the night and rest.

[Valentine]

Pulling his katana from her hands was possibly the most satisfying feeling he had experienced for a while. It was his most treasured possession and to feel its familiar grooves and its familiar red blade once again in its rightful owner's hands was a treat to his senses. Her words did not affect him, he had heard it all before from women and children who had cried their hearts out after he had slaughtered their brothers and fathers, then he murdered them too. Nothing affected him anymore; he would not be moved in his resolve by someone like this. His life had a purpose now in serving Hromagh.

"You cannot change my mind, woman... No one can. I serve a cause greater than any on Althanas and one day you will thank me," Kadarus said, before coldly adding, "Though I doubt you'll live long enough to give me that pleasure."

He watched her walk away but he did not stop her... In fact, he was happy. The way she was walking, deeper into the forest would only spell danger for her. Concordia may be beautiful, but it holds dangers that no where else in the world could dream of, especially at night. And now that she was angry and emotions were affecting her judgment, it would only be a matter of time before she was ripped limb from limb by the beasts that dwelled within. As he stepped off, following her, his mind was only on one thing, the pleasure he would derive from watching it.

She walked for a long time, amazing Kadarus with her stamina, though she did not seem to care for much stealth. Unlike her, the Emissary of Balance was nearly undetectable as he shifted from tree to tree, the darkness cloaking his frame perfectly. As she stepped into an open clearing in the forest, the former samurai slipped away, hiding behind a tree. His ears perked as his sense of hearing sensed the sound of hooves clopping on the forest floor. His heart warmed at the sound of what would surely spell the end for Ira. These were no horses, these were centaurs. And they were fiercely territorial, as he had learnt the hard way a few years ago.

He moved away, shifting from tree to tree until he was out of the centaurs' path but also able to get a clear view of her. She was standing in such a way that the moonlight shone on her dark skin, but also highlighting her eyes. For a moment, Kadarus could not help but gaze into them, but the increasing volume of the hooves on the ground below meant that soon, he could take her eyes and look at them all he wanted, without the annoyance of her mouth.

[Iriah Caitrak]

Day passed quickly over into night but Ira hadn’t stopped to make a camp and rest, she’d felt too restless, her muscles wouldn’t stop moving and she wasn’t too sure if she wanted to stop herself. It felt good to just walk and not have to worry about anything, to just listen to the trees and the animals and even the quieter noises of the night. Of course, it would be a lot more peaceful if she didn’t have a stalker. Though siahd was being a little on the stealthy side, Ira’s job was to sense souls and since the guy still miraculously possessed one she could sense him, though it had taken her a little while to notice he was there, after all, she wasn’t looking for souls so she hadn’t noticed…at first. But if he wanted to stalk her that was just fine, just as long as he didn’t try to kill her again, not that he could.

Sighing, Ira stopped in a small opening in the forest, the canopy above her parted to the reveal the million little gems glistening in the night sky. Though the stars were different here than the ones she saw in Fallien they still felt familiar and it was nice to stare into the open vastness and nothingness that rested above her. Just another way of showing people how small and insignificant they are in the grand scheme of things. The moon was at a quarter, a sliver of its true self shining down upon a darkened land and giving light to those who needed it. In a few days it would probably be a new moon and there would be nothing in the night sky but the stars to help guide her through her random wanderings.

The sound of branches breaking and hurried hooves over the forest floor shook Ira out of her reverie though. She turned in the direction it was coming from but could see nothing yet, however they were getting closer and closer to her with each passing second.

”Men on horseback, in a forest? I’m amazed they can run so swiftly through the trees…”

Of course, these were not men on horses as Ira soon discovered when a group of five creatures broke through the branches and stopped in the field she was standing in, surrounding her on either side. She’d never seen anything like it, half man, half animal, a horse’s body in every way with a male atop it, only he was the other half. They wore nothing on their chests and all five of them were ripped and ready for anything life threw at them, long manes of hair traveling down from the tops of their heads, she would have found them fascinating if it weren’t for the fact that they were carrying weapons and none were looking too pleased in her direction.

“You have trespassed on our territory.” One of them said.

Ira knew a thing or two about territory and how those who had it guarded it zealously, mainly the tribes about Suravani’s Oasis, which she had tried to avoid many times in her wanderings and her missions. However, she was in foreign land and did not know how to react to these creatures. So she did the only thing she could and acted as politely as normal.

“I am very sorry,” Ira said inclining her head in a respectful manner towards the one who had spoken to her earlier, “I did not realize that there were territories within this forest, I am foreign to this land. With your permission I shall leave at once and be sure not to return.”

The horsemen looked between each other as if they hadn’t been expecting her to be so polite to them. Politics was not necessarily her thing but she knew when to back out of a situation. She was after all, surrounding by five men attached to horses, who all carried weapons and looked like they had the greater advantage over her in battle. She was not meant to fight in the physical world.

“Aye, there’s a way we’ll be making sure you wont be returning all right.” He sneered down at her, “I call her first.”

One of the other creatures growled, “I hate leftovers.”

“Heh, you should be used to it by now…”

Ira froze in place, were they planning to…? Oh, over her dead body that was going to happen! Ira formed her Swallow in her hand then broke it in half, the two long poles each carrying the slightly curved blade of the Naginata, only each was half the size and more easily manoeuvrable.

The creatures stopped talking and looked at her, “I think the little woman intends to fight.”

The one who had done the most talking snorted, “I always love a good fight but she doesn’t look like she’ll be much fun, don’t rough her up too much.”

The others nodded in agreement before they all pulled out their weapons, axe, double swords, single large sword, and more swords. This was not going to be easy and Ira had a funny feeling she wasn’t going to be able to win either and escaping to Purgatory, well, she had a feeling that with them being so close to her she was taking a chance in bringing them with her and that was the last place she wanted to die.

The creatures circled around her in a slow movement, it was disconcerting because she couldn’t keep her eyes on the two that were behind her and she didn’t know if these creatures were against attacking from behind. One the creatures from in front of her quickly lunged, bringing a sword down towards her head, Ira ducked out of the way only to have a hoof come towards her face. She rolled off to the side away from him, only to come to her feet and have to block another attack from someone else, an axe and it’s mighty blow coming down towards her. Blocking that sent vibrations running down through her arm and given the fact that he was above her his strength was greatly pushing down on hers. So she rolled off to the side, kicking out the creature’s leg in the process and watching him buckle forward.

That didn’t help her though, there were too many of them and they were too experienced at fighting as a unit. They never gave her a moment to rest, once she was standing she would have to block another attack if she could, or move out of the way. She block another sword, only to have a hoof smash into her shoulder, the sharp, hardened nail digging deep into the flesh and rendering her arm useless. She dropped her swallow half and watched it disappeared then backed up from the creature as blood poured from the wound and coated her once tanned shirt and her arm, she could feel it drip off the tips of her fingers.

They were getting excited too, realizing they’d severely wounded her.

One of them came at her with his sword, he was slower than the others because of the weight of it but his swings were much stronger. She ducked under his swing and knew what was coming for her, so she did a summersault under the creature and drove her blade up into his soft underside. The creature let out an excruciating cry, his hooves dancing about all around her, Ira quickly rolled out from under him to avoid being trampled. But she was kicked in the stomach before she even came to her feet, sending her staggering onto her back and rolling off to the side before her skull was crushed by another set of hooves. These guys didn’t even have to use their weapons on her; she was having a hard enough time avoiding their natural legs.

Standing up, she blocked another attack to her then was smashed in the arm with something else she hadn’t been quick enough to see but she could feel more blood dripping down her skin and she was starting to get light headed. If things persisted, she’d pass out before this battle was even over from blood loss. That was not appealing.

Staggering, Ira was smashed in her arm from another hoof and sent flying into a tree, her head cracking against the trunk and letting her fall limp to the forest floor below. She was still conscious but she wasn’t sure for how much longer and her head was splitting, she couldn’t even think straight but she was somehow gathering the strength to begin to stand. If she had to die she wasn’t going to die lying down and giving up, she was going to die fighting to the very end.

[Valentine]

The entire scene unfolded in front of the former samurai's eyes, but he would be lying if he said he was not deriving any form of sadistic pleasure from this scene. This was the woman who had demeaned him, questioned him and worst of all, tried to waver his resolve. She would die for it and Kadarus felt something stir within him as he felt slightly responsible for her death. It was not his decision to charge deep into centaur territory, it was not his decision to foolishly challenge instead of running. It was her's. Sometimes, it was all the sweeter this way.

And yet, as stomp after stomp of the centaurs' hooves and slice after slice of their weapons through the air, the Emissary of Balance felt something pulling at his heartstrings from within. It was not Hromagh or any of his disciples, he had already sent enough unworthy to the Antifirmament, it was...

Kade.

All this talk of emotions must have triggered his former self, who was desperate to imprint some form of himself on his new body. It was not a complete body or even a persona, it was a group of feelings that he thought he had traded for a purpose in life. They were annoying and for the moment, the Emissary of Balance pushed them to the back of his mind, dismissing them as nothing more than his mind playing tricks on him. But as he observed from behind a tree, bit by bit, he began to feel again. Pity, shame, resentment, hate, happiness... they all mixed together in a wild medley of emotions, nearly causing his brain to explode.

"Why are you doing this?" he asked rhetorically to no one.

His hand fell to his katana's handle, which was strapped to his waist like it always was. In one swift move, he unsheathed it and sliced at the nearest tree, coincidentally his cover. It was a powerful strike, cleaving the trunk in half, causing it to fall with a loud thud to the former samurai's right. Kadarus swore loudly, causing echoes to sound throughout the entire forest. He had no idea what was happening... and his attempt to relieve the pressure had failed. It did not stop him from trying though and with fervor in his eyes and sweat dripping from his face, he sliced at another tree, this one meeting a similar fate as the other.

These pathetic plants, they did nothing. He cared not for what he was feeling at this point, he needed to relieve this constant nagging at the back of his head. It was urging him to repent for his past sins and not fighting earlier when Hromagh's grip was not as strong. No, he cared nothing for these feelings at the moment. Using all of his mental strength, he threw them to the back of his mind.

"Blood... I need... to Bleed..."

The samurai's yellow eyes suddenly grew dark, all emotion draining from them. He turned his attention to the clearing where Ira and the centaurs were. One had already come charging towards him, angered that yet another intruder had trespassed. However, now that his bloodlust had been incurred, he was unstoppable. His desire to kill had now risen and his need to bleed. The hunger... it did not exist as it did as before, but this was indulgence. He needed the pleasure of bleeding unworthy to end this aching in his head.

His katana's blade glinted in the little moonlight that existed here and that was the last thing that the centaur ever saw. A moment later, his hooves stopped clopping on the ground, the hybrid stopping in his tracks suddenly. A blur had passed him and along with it, a sudden rush of pain and then... black. Kadarus turned around and inspected his strike, a perfect slice at the torso where man met horse, separating the two.

The Emissary let out an almost orgasmic moan that like the last instance of his voice, rang throughout the entire forest.

"More. More bleeding."

He turned to the clearing and charged forward, his movements so fast that only the sound of his feet and a blur of black leather and white flesh were coming close to giving away his position. He moved quickly towards the centaurs that were still attacking Ira and dealt the first a similar fate to his comrade. He stopped moving a few feet behind, incurring the stares of the remaining survivors. They charged forward but Kadarus was too fast for them too. Before they could even raise their weapons, their lifeless bodies fell to the ground. The Emissary of Balance bent down and picked up his two Murasame, which he had stabbed into the backs of their heads as he sprinted pass them.

"More... I need more..."

Inadvertently, he looked to the near lifeless body of Ira that lay in a mess of blood, mud and grass.

"More..."

He moaned again. This time louder to fit the lust in his heart.

[Iriah Caitrak]

Ira looked on in disbelief as the siahd actually came to her rescue and slew the creatures that had been attacking her and had nearly killed her. She had actually thought that this was the end for her and the only thought that passed through her mind was that she wasn’t going to be able to say goodbye to those that truly mattered to her, like Revor and Gereint. But, instead of being trampled to death, or worse being raped by a group of half men half horse, she was now semi-conscious wondering with what parts of her mind that worked why the siahd had even come to help her.

Sure, she’d been nice to him and had tried to help him earlier but it was clear he hadn’t wanted it and had wanted nothing more than to have her dead. Well, he’d almost had his wish but instead of just watching her die like he had probably been planning on doing he’d saved her life and Ira couldn’t fathom why. There had to be a reason, he would never help someone out of the kindness of his heart, he had no heart to speak of anymore let alone kindness.

She could barely think now and it was a chore to keep her eyes open. She’d lost too much blood in the fight and she knew more was still escaping her wounds. If she wasn’t going to get trampled to death, she just might bleed to death instead.

“Why…?”

That was the only thing she could say to him, the only thing she wanted to know but if he’d spoken an answer to her she didn’t hear it. Everything went dark then, her eyes closed and the world around her faded, even the pain, the throbbing and the coldness that had been overtaking her limbs began to fade. Once she was passed out, the crystal around her neck began to glow a softly, not the Irenian Crystals, no, the crystal the little girl in Purgatory had given her, the one that was a family heirloom. It’s soft light could not be seen for it was crushed against Ira and the ground, however it still glowed and the wounds upon Ira’s body slowly began to heal. The blood stopping its flow as whatever magic the crystal possessed began to work slowly from the inside out.

[Valentine]

Moans continued to emerge from his mouth for a long while before he realized that his lust for blood as well as the annoying voice in the back of his mind had vanished, leaving the Emissary of Balance to his own devices. He continued to pant as sweat formed all over his forehead and exposed torso, the energy he expended had tired him a lot. Now that he knew that the threat was gone and there was no need to bleed any longer, the former samurai raised his weapon into the air, watching as the blood of the centaurs dropped off its tip and onto the ground below. In one swift movement, he threw the weapon into the air, watching as it spun. He grabbed onto the handle and thrust it quickly into his sheathe.

It was at that moment that a soft word emerged from Ira's lips and entered the ears of the Valentine Bleeder. He turned his head towards her and now that his mind was working fully, thoughts began to swirl within his mind. They urged him to take steps towards her, which he slowly did. Every step seemed to take forever, but when he finally arrived, he kneeled down and looked into her eyes, her eyelids sagging more and more by the moment. With her last moments of consciousness ending, Kadarus took her face in his hands, one hand on either one of her cheeks. His yellow eyes stared at her, unwavering, not willing.

Her skin was soft to touch, a feeling he had not felt in such a long time. It had been too long. Too long since he had felt the softness of a woman's flesh and now that he had one in his arms once again, there was no way he was going to resist the urge. As he felt her mind fade, Kadarus decided to give her a present that perhaps she would have enjoyed more if she were with his former self. The Emissary leaned forward, his lips pressed roughly against her's. His hands moved down to pick up her body and pull her deeper into his embrace. Her soft lips felt so good against his larger, rougher ones. His hands grew adventurous and they roamed around her body, ignoring the blood around them as he rubbed every crevice, felt every inch of her soft flesh in between his rough fingers.

In his mind, he swore that he could hear her voice beckoning him on, telling him to push on. And he did, he pushed up her clothes, his hands caressing every part of her body as his lips played with her's. He wandered towards her thighs, which were not spared either. Kadarus' hands rubbed against the inside of them, slowly rising towards her waist. It was there that suddenly, he stopped. Even his lips stopped moving, slowly moving from her's.

Without a second thought, the Bleeder stepped up from the ground, standing straight up and looking down at her body. For a moment, he contemplated walking off now and leaving her to die. But something within him urged him not to and he was in no mood to start this quarrel against. Slowly, he picked her body up and moved away, towards a nearby cave, one that he frequented many times before.

Laying her body against its walls, he started a fire near her before moving towards the entrance. Still, he could not leave. Shaking his head slowly he moved deeper into the cave, leaning against the cavern wall and watching the girl sleep.

[Iriah Caitrak]

Consciousness slowly returned to Ira. She’d been having a dream, but she couldn’t remember what it was, images and memories of it slowly fading as she realized she was awake and no longer sleeping. Cracking her eyes open she found herself in a darkened cave with a fire before her, the flames twisting through the air giving everything around it an orange glow.

With the fatigued of sleep still on her mind, Ira tried to sit up only to have an intense pain shoot down through her ribcage. Her gasped, bit the inside of her cheeks and whimpered instead of screaming. And that was enough to bring it all back, the memories of meeting the siahd in the forest and the incidents with him and then of leaving and being nearly killed by men not on their horses but attached to their horses. But she hadn’t died, the siahd had saved her and before she’d passed out he’d…

Ira brought her hand up and ran her fingers over her lips; he’d kissed her before she’d passed out. He’d actually kissed her! The man was confounding, how could he try to kill her one-minute then save her life and kiss her the next!? There had to be something else behind it, he did not seem like the kind of person to go around doing favours for people and rescuing them from the clutches of death. But he had and though he’d pissed her off she was grateful for that. There were too many things she had to do before she died.

Foregoing sitting up because of the extreme pain, most likely a few of her ribs were cracked, Ira rolled her head towards the fire, the heat of it washing over her face, but that wasn’t what she was really looking at. Through the flames she could see the siahd sitting on the other side watching her as well. She wondered how long he’d been sitting there and how long she’d been unconscious. Unbeknownst to her, the crystal the girl’s soul had given to her before she left Fallien had already healed some of her minor wounds, stopping the blood flow and slowly healing them from the inside out. But it would take a few more nights of sleep before her ribs even began to feel better. The crystal worked slowly and only worked while she was sleeping.

“I would have thought you’d be happy to watch me die…” Ira said to him, turning away and looking up at the ceiling and the dancing light and shadow that the flames created.

She didn’t really know what to say to him.

“You know, you’ve never told me your name siahd. Unless you prefer me calling you that…”

[Valentine]

The hours where she did nothing but lay there, unconscious were very uncomfortable for Kadarus. Not a single moment passed where he did not think of the days when he was Kade Lien, the carefree, perpetually drunken samurai. His eyes, similarly tormented by those memories were unable to focus on anything except those small, exquisite lips that lay, attached to a comatose body just a few feet away from him. His counterparts still remembered what he felt like, his palm, covered with calluses still remembered the soft, smooth, darkened skin of her's. These thoughts, these emotions, his senses... everything, they would not leave him alone. Only, this time, unlike the other time, it was a pleasant feeling.

Before, it was like a migraine constantly chewing away at the back of his head. This time, it was a pleasant feeling, almost like a conscious pleasurable dream. Only his new self restricted Kadarus' body from performing a similar task as before, but already, he could feel his former self slowly sneak its way into consciousness. At the moment, he wasn't sure how he felt about that, he wasn't sure whether he wanted to turn back into Kade Lien. He enjoyed his brief renaissance with his old self and Ira's body, but going back to that would mean going back to a meaningless life. He never wanted that again.

His mind continued to think and think, before the sounds of Ira's body rustling the small pebbles on the ground floor alerting him. Instantly, he snapped back to his normal self, his new self, the form of the Valentine Bleeder. At first, it appeared as if she did not know where she was or that he was even here. Her fingers rising to her lips almost made his knees buckle as he remember what it was like to touch her body once again. He composed himself though and instead continued to look at her as if he were analyzing here, while he was indeed admiring her body, her clothing cut up at various places allowing him a perfect view of her curves.

Her voice was something that was not present in his thoughts of fantasies, yet the fact that they moved slightly on their own accord and producing sound was enough to almost drive him insane. There was something about her, something that made him want to betray Hromagh. And even the few words that she spoke were enough to distract him from thinking about his loyalties to focus on her answer.

He took a few steps forward, the light revealing his body to her in detail. Still wearing the same clothes that he was when they first met and still carrying all his weaponry, he slowly raised his head, showing her his neck and looking down on her with his yellow pupils. Kadarus had no idea how to answer her question at first. He had so many names and even now he had a lot of names.

Slowly, he spoke. This time though, there was a noticeable change in his voice, one that he could not control. It was no softer, no longer bearing the vicious or emotionless tone it had before.

"Kade - "

He began slowly, wondering whether that was truly his name now. No, it wasn't.

" - Arus."

[Iriah Caitrak]

“Kadarus…”

She mulled the word over in her mind, the name he answered to. It suited him somehow and she wondered if there was any kind of meaning behind it but wasn’t about to ask him. All of the names in her tribe meant something but she didn’t know if the other civilizations of Althanas did the same thing.

Shifting her position on the unforgiving ground beneath her, Ira sucked in a breath, clenched her jaw and closed her eyes as the quick jolt of pain overcame her again. Damn it, she’d forgotten about that for a second but the pain was a quick reminder that she probably shouldn’t move for a while. Heck, with broken ribs she didn’t know how long she’d have to lay here. That was going to put a dampener on her plans.

“I was hoping to get to the town of Underwood located somewhere in Concordia, though it looks like I’m stuck for a little while. I don’t really know my way around and I was just hoping of wandering through and enjoying the scenery before getting there, there aren’t any forests in Fallien…”

Turning her head to the side, she watched him from the other side of the leaping flames. She was in a little bit of a predicament now and didn’t expect him to help her at all. He’d most likely leave soon now that she was awake, which was fine with her, she had enough water and food in her rucksack to last her a few days of recovery and she’d traveled under worse conditions by herself before. Of course, she hadn’t exactly made it to her destination before but that was neither here nor there and was a completely different situation.

Still, she needed to get to Underwood and recover so she could cleanse the area. There were Fallen there, not just the few she’d released when she’d quickly taken Kadarus and herself in Purgatory, there were more, how many she didn’t know and she wasn’t even sure they were Fallen, they could still be lost souls. All she knew was that there were souls wandering around that town and it was best cleanse it now and be done with it then having to come back when it was a bigger problem.

[Valentine]

Words and speech... these things were not sounds that he heard regularly for such a long time. His transformation via Hromagh had changed him to the point where he could accurately say that this was the closest thing he had to a communication for a long time. It could also be argued that it was the longest time that his katana had remained sheathed in the presence of someone else. Still, Kadarus was as confused as ever. The fact that she spoke to him only sought to distort his brain even more, feeding him information that he understood, yet could not be translated effectively so that he could reciprocate.

The fire warmed him, yet the one thing that truly made him feel was the presence of this girl. His milky white skin, illuminated by the light generated by the fire only grew paler and paler as he decided to break his statuesque form for the first time in the last few hours. The Emissary advanced until his feet were about two feet away from her lying frame. Her mouth had stopped moving and Kadarus had only picked up the gist of it. She was headed to Underwood, the Peaceful Promenade.

Thoughts instantly flooded into his mind, thoughts of the last time he had ventured into that area. All a blur. Nothing except emotions. Happiness, excitement, euphoria, surprise, sadness, heartbreak, redemption... All these newfound feelings swarming through his body. For a minute, he stood there, stationary once more. Then slowly, when the flurry of emotions finished, his head slowly turned downwards, his eyes now sharply focused on the girl that lay at his feet.

"Ira."

His voice was hoarse and the name seemed to have been forced out from within his stomach and out his mouth.

"Ira."

He said her name again.

"Sorry."

This time, it was louder and more pronounced, though still devoid of any emotion.

"I will serve my redemption. I will take you to Underwood."

[Iriah Caitrak]

“Ahh, what…huh?”

Ira blinked up at Kadarus from her prone position on the hard ground. Her hearing must be shot; either that or she was dreaming, or hallucinating or crazy. Yep, crazy sounded good because there was no way that Kadarus had just offered to take her to Underwood to ‘serve as his redemption’, that was just ridiculous. This guy was ridiculous! First he tries to kill her, then he goes all weird and crazy and mumbling incoherent crap about…she didn’t know what, then he saves her life and now he’s being nice to her and bringing her to Underwood.

Yep, she was definitely hallucinating.

“Did you just say you’d take me to Underwood?”

“Yes.”

She blinked at him again, just ‘yes’, one conclusive word and that was it, yes! Him and what freaking army! Her ribs were broken, it’s not like she could just stand up and walk hand-in-hand with him skipping all the way there! Was he crazy!

“Unless you haven’t noticed, but I think my ribs are broken so I’m not moving anytime soon, as nice as the offer was I just do—“

Whatever she was going to say next was cut off when Kadarus just knelt down next to her and scooped her up into his arms.

“Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow! That really hurt!”

She thumped her hand against his chest, meeting a solid wall of muscle, how lovely. He didn’t say anything to her, he just carefully reached back down and grabbed her rucksack then stepped on the fire to extinguish it and the next thing she knew was they were walking—well he was walking she was being carried—through the forest towards Underwood. He didn’t say anything the whole way and she didn’t prompt him too. And though the ground was uneven and the terrain was rough, hell it was a forest, the ride was comfortable and he barely jostled her.

She didn’t like being carried though, it made her feel weak and helpless and at the same time he made her feel a little protected, however the fact that he’d tried to kill her when they’d first met made her wonder about how safe she was with him. Though he seemed unable to hurt her with his vast arsenal, he may just as well be able to drop her down a cliff and watch her hit the bottom. Ira hoped there weren’t any cliffs in Concordia.

It didn’t take them long to get to Underwood, a half an hour maybe more and Ira was a bit miffed at how close she’d been to the place before she’d been attacked, though she really couldn’t say for certain how far away the cave Kadarus had taken her to had been from the town itself. Either way, she must have been relatively close before those horsemen creatures had attacked her, and for no good reason too.

Underwood was a beautiful town that nestled in nicely with the forest surrounding it, even if it did use the very trees as its revenue and way to stay alive. All the houses were made of wood that blended in nicely with the forest backdrop and people were milling about their business like they did on any day. A group of children even ran in front of her and Kadarus, only pausing briefly to look at the two of them before continuing on. At first she’d been worried that he might attack them, after all he didn’t seem to discriminate against anyone, he just killed because he thought people were ‘unworthy’ of living.

He didn’t hurt anyone though; he just continued to carry her to the Inn, surprise of surprises.

He stopped at the counter, “Will you be needing a room?” The young woman said. She was pretty, with long curly brown hair that she tried to pull back away from her face in vain and a simple blue dress, but she didn’t stand out much.

“Umm, yes please.” Ira said when Kadarus didn’t make any move to comment.

“Are you injured?” The lady asked her.

Ira looked down at herself, yes she was being carried, yes she was covered in mud and yes her clothes had dried blood on them as well she still had wounds on her arms and the deep one in her shoulder.

“Ahhh, yeah, kind of had a little mishap out in the woods, I’ll need a few days of recovery.”

The woman smiled at her, “I’ll have fresh water and some bandages brought to the room for you to clean up with then, you’re in number 6.”

Ira smiled and gently took the key from her and without another word Kadarus carried her up the stairs, she opened the door and he went into her room then placed her in a sitting position against the headboard and turned to leave.

“You’re leaving?”

He stopped but he didn’t turn back to her, he just nodded his head.
She didn’t know what to say to him, thanks for not being able to kill me and then just saving my life and taking me here for no good reason? Yeah, that sounded great.

“Umm…next time we run into each other, try not to kill me at first sight will ya?”

She didn’t know what his response to that was, he lingered for a few seconds more but then just headed out of the room and out of her life. She wasn’t sad to see him go and she didn’t wish him back anytime soon, in fact she hoped it would be a long time coming before she ever ran into that man again. Or if she was lucky, maybe never.

A few minutes later there was a knock at the door and a woman came in carrying a washbasin with warm water and some bandages for her. Ira smiled and thanked her and proceeded to very carefully clean off the blood and mud, wondering just how bad she really was and how long it was going to take for her to get better.

[Letho]

General notes – I want to say that this was a good quest, but it lacked several components that would make it a great one. Generally you two tell the story nicely, it’s easy to follow but the pace that was set for this quest was rather... uncommon. I’ll comment more on it in the Rising Action. But without further ado, let's judge this thing.


INTRODUCTION – 7

This was generally well done, but it was nothing exceptional. Ira was strolling through the forest, though why was she there and where she was going was something I found out in post #23. I don’t know did you do this intentionally, Ira, but as it is, it gives me a feeling that you only added it afterwards just to come up with some kind of a reason for being there. Valentine was a bit clearer on giving his reasons, but it still sounded a bit too cliché that he accidentally ran into Ira in a forest as vast as Concordia. Your characters were well portrayed in those first posts though, giving the reader enough information to work with without going through your profiles just to find out what were your characters all about and I see this as a very good thing. I as a judge read your profiles before reading the quest, but other people sometimes won’t do that. In short: Clarify your reasons in initial posts or give some kind of insinuation on the reasons if you want to keep them mysterious.

SETTING – 6

A forest can sometimes be an ungrateful setting. You two described it fairly well in your initial posts and I got a good picture on where you were and what was going on, but there was little interaction with the surroundings. Kadarus chopped down a few trees, Ira sat on one of them in her first/second post, a token R&R cave later on... The interaction wasn’t bad, but there were some mistakes. For example, for a branch to snap so loudly it would usurp the birds in the trees, the branch has to be really thick and not something that would be stepped on and broken. Also, getting ambushed in the middle of the forest with no natural light but the quarter moon hidden by the tree crowns should’ve impeded Ira’s fighting prowess since I’m fairly certain she doesn’t have any supernatural senses other then her ability to sense souls. You can call me nitpicky, but it’s the details that separate the good from the great. So try to input more of the environment in your posts and your character’s actions, and keep an eye out for details.

STRATEGY – 6

Taking Kadarus into Purgatory was an excellent way to offset any advantage he might have over Ira, but other then that the traces of any real strategy remained scarce. I found it rather uncanny that Kade was allowed to launch a barrage of attacks on Ira without her even making a reaction to them. I don’t know did you two arranged it to be so, but it still was rather strange to see Kade pull out a knife, show it to Ira and take a shot at her chest without her even making a step back or reaching for a weapon. The fight with the centaurs is another story. Ira knew she was outmatched and yet she still chose to face them in a clearing where they have a clear advantage over her, being able to surround her and move around freely. You’re in a forest, there are trees, shrubs, foliage, bogs, rocks, logs, vines, a whole assortment of stuff that you could use to your advantage. And if you do stay in the clearing, having a weapon with a longer reach would certainly be better then having two weapons with shorter reach. Plan your battles, regardless of the knowledge that the story would make you lose it in the end, try to think of the best way to use the skills you have and turn them into advantage over your opponent.

WRITING STYLE – 7

Both of you are good storytellers and good writers and I generally had no trouble reading through your posts. There were a couple of times that I had to reread the sentence to realize what was going on, but such instances were rare and generally I enjoyed reading your work. Your descriptions are generally vivid and easily imagined and neither of you suffer from either overwriting yourself or being too brief. But despite this balance there are a couple of details that jump out here and there.

Ira, on a lot of occasions you are trying to say too much in one sentence. This consequently makes you use a lot of commas, creating run-on sentences that are hard to follow and break the flow of your writing. For example: “Then it all began to melt away, the blue sky began grey and the forest around her, though in the Physical World beautiful and alive, was nothing more than leafless trees with, gnarled hands reaching out for any scrap of flesh or clothing and gaping holes that looked like tormented facing screaming back at her in an never ending cycle of misery waiting for the simple relief of rotting away.”

This could’ve easily been: “Then it all began to melt away. The blue sky began to grey and the forest around her, though beautiful and alive in the Physical World, was nothing more then leafless trees. Gnarled hands reached out for any scrap of flesh or clothing and gaping holes looked like tormented faces screaming back at her in a never ending cycle of misery, waiting for the simple relief of rotting away.”

Personally, I think that last part after a comma is a bit too much description because the image is more then clear already. So don’t be afraid of shortening your sentences. Other then that, my biggest problem was the one sentence paragraphs. While I have nothing against them and I use them myself, they are perfect for describing a moment that is a peak of some thought, amplifying its importance. But if used too often, it loses the power to get the message across. You have a couple of typos here and there, mistake its and it’s here and there, but it’s not something that happens too often.

Valentine, though you have a run-on sentence or two as well, it’s not as severe as with Ira. You do, however, have a tendency to miss a word in your sentence from time to time. This is something that could easily be remedied with proofreading. For example: “Kadarus watched its trajectory, it was aimed perfectly at her belly button was supposed to be and there was no way that she would dodge it.” This was probably supposed to be: “Kadarus watched its trajectory, it was aimed perfectly at where her belly button was supposed to be and there was no way that she would dodge it.”

Other then that and, as in Ira’s case, the occasional typos that happen once per post on average, there is nothing that really worth of mentioning.

RISING ACTION – 5

This is something I had trouble scoring. On one hand, the thread started off with a bang, a conflict between the two that really revealed a lot of their characters. The only problem was that the conflict was so emotional and significant, that it made the rest of the thread rather bland, making it go slope downwards slowly. The battle with the centaurs was a nice try to fix that, but I felt like the battle was there because you needed something that would elevate the tension in the thread. So while there was enough of action, it didn’t actually rise gradually until the climax, but rather just exploded, wound down, exploded again, then wound down some more. Also, I got a feeling that Kade’s story about Ira being “the one” or whatever was something you two put in there because you wanted to add some depth to the entire encounter. It’s not a bad thing, but I found no trace of this in Kade’s history, so I got a feeling that it was just something you thought up to create some unnatural connection between your characters. Anyways, try to create more of a build up to the scenes that are the important for the story.

DIALOGUE – 7

This was generally well done. Though at times your dialogue seemed forced – like in the cave where Ira, out of nowhere, mentioned she was going to Underwood – it mostly stayed true to your characters and seemed natural. I especially liked Ira’s conversation with the girl in the beginning. I think that through that dialogue you introduced your character better then any description could. I found Kadarus a bit too chatty at times, given the fact that he’s the silent murderer type, but it didn’t deviate from his character too much so I didn’t dock points for it.

CLIMAX – 7

Well, first we have to see what the climax really was. I think there were two points in the thread that were like mini-climaxes, the first being Kadarus breaking down in the Purgatory, the second being the fight with his old self as he observed Ira getting her ass kicked by the centaurs. And while the first one was rather confusing and a bit implausible to me, the second one seemed to fit the story a lot better. Despite the perversion of the scene where Kade ravages Ira’s lifeless body, I think that was the peak of the thread, where Kade succumbed to his old self and then snapped back from it as much as he could. Unfortunately, as good as the climax really was, it held little meaning to Ira. While Kade is breaking down, writhing on the ground naked (the nakedness felt a bit redundant though), Ira was merely there to facilitate his breakdown. That’s why this is a 7, and not higher.

CHARACTER – 8

Now this is the thing I had most trouble scoring, more trouble then the Rising Action. On first sight, both characters seemed to stay true to themselves, Kade being a ruthless killer and Ira being the independent self-sufficient woman, and your writing reflects that nicely. And I could even understand the whole conflict with himself that consequently leads to him rescuing Ira from certain death. But in between all of that there are details that stand out. In the battle with Ira, Kade goes from being a boogieman to a wimp in like one post. He takes three strikes with his katana and falls down and then, out of nowhere, because of some prophecy, he strips himself naked and kisses her feet. And then, snap, back from the Purgatory and to his old prick self. Ira, on the other hand, contemplates on whether to kill him or leave him in Purgatory, and between the two she chooses to comfort the man that just tried to kill her. Then later on, even though she knows he – a man that obviously doesn’t like her a whole lot – is following her, she doesn’t confront him. I just found these fluctuations a bit strange and unexplained, but despite them, I think this was the best part of the thread.

CONCLUSION – 7

Not rushed, but nothing exceptional either. It would’ve looked better if you wrapped it up with a post each instead Ira posting one longass post, but generally it tied up loose ends and didn’t end with a sex scene that Colin tends to have at least one per thread. It missed a bit of panache that would subtly explain what this encounter meant to them, especially Ira, but it’s not necessary.

WILD CARD – 7

I’m in a happy place right now. This was an interesting read and Germany won today, so I gave out a 7.


TOTAL – 67

Congratulations.


Ira Shinkara receives 700 EXP and 100 GP
Valentine receives 1400 EXP (due to level difference) and 100 GP

[Thoracis]

Rewards Added!