Icepick Gag Reflex

[Slayer of the Rot]

"Feh...these soldiers are like fucking ants."

Dan Lagh'ratham had been in the bazaar for no more or less than an hour and had already noticed the increase of security. Every corner he turned, he found himself bumping shoulders with a pair of soldiers screwing around with dice or giving everyone in sight dirty looks.

The Saraelian wasn't stupid enough to walk in with a familiar face. His mug was plastered across posters across the country. It seemed no one was happy about seeing people torn apart and partially eaten - except himself. Dan shot back a furious scowl at one of the guards, and ran his hand through the long red hair he'd grown before entering the bazaar's limits. He'd forsaken his usual suit for a variation; shorter cut black jacket, white shirt with large cuffs and longer tails, pants a shade darker than his hair.

Ants the soldiers they may be, but in a swarm, ants could cause grievous injury to beasts.

The longer he stayed in pace along with the general rabble, the fouler his mood become. Soon enough, his scowl had worsened to the point of showing teeth. Posture hunched, hands deep in his pockets to resist urges to rip the old man stumbling in front of him in half, Dan gave up what was to be a careful and through search and stalked into the nearest armory.

It had the standard decorations; mounted swords, axes, maces, clubs. Chain and plate armor advertised on featureless wooden models. Ignoring them, he stomped to the back of the store, where the least popular items where, and picked up a spool of iron wire. He dropped it onto the counter, summoned his drill spear, and presented it.

"Put that on the bills with as much iron shavings as I can afford for trading this in. By shavings, I mean the dust refuse that comes off the whetstones when you're sharpening up this merchandise in here."

[By iron dust; if you ever played with a Wooly Willy as a kid, you know what I mean.
Drill Spear. (http://www.althanas.com/world/showthread.php?t=10248)]

[AdventWings]

Edward turned with a start just as he was putting away a handful of sharpened daggers on the display rack behind him. Gauging the newcomer from head to toe unconsciously, he was certain this was no ordinary man.

Iron shaving? The clerk almost burst out laughing as the thought came to mind, but forcibly grabbed himself when he saw the customer's face. Despite the fact that the man was dressed in a manner that would make the Radasanthian Fashion Industry freeze for an entire day from a collective belly-ache, the young merchant could see the beast was serious about the purchase.

"Ahem- Ahm, sure." Edward replied uneasily, gauging the drill spear with his eyes. While the boy had seen many odd gears come and go about the streets, this one certainly took the cake. It was an odd mix of steel craftsmanship and primal fury of the forge, incorporating and odd-looking collar that rattled as it rolled around on the counter. Edward was more afraid the damn spear was going to turn the counter into two pieces.

"Umm, well, I will need a moment to mark the price for this, sir."

Working through the equations in his head with the aid of a piece of paper and a quill pen, Edward let the writing instrument flick across the barren surface wildly as if it had a life of its own. Five minutes passed...

"...Wow, I think you would be better off buying a block of iron with the trade-in, sir."

But who was he to ignore a customer's needs?

"...But if you really want it, I'm afraid we wouldn't have enough metal shaving to satisfy your price. I can provide you with about ten pounds of the material at this time. Even still, I believe you still have about enough for the wire and a steel saber. Would that be alright?"

[Slayer of the Rot]

"Yes, I really want it," Dan replied heatedly through clenched teeth. The merchant was already succeeding in rubbing him the wrong way, despite attempting to maintain his composure. Fists clenching at his sides, he stared at Edward, eyes quickly narrowing. Control was a fleeting thing for Dan Lagh'ratham; that he was keeping himself in check at the moment was a modern miracle. The urge to snatch up the drill spear and drive it into the twit's chest was all too tempting.

"Listen. If I have enough for a block of iron, then I want it ground down, it's no good to me in a big chunk like that. Instead of the dry humor, I want an estimate of how much iron I'm getting in the end." The Saraelian's body jerked forward, but halted instantly, his form rigid as the iron he wished to purchase. Slowly, he exhaled, closed his eyes, and set his hands lightly on the counter. Going berserk and smashing everything in a storm of bloody debris would completely negate the need for a disguise. He may as well have blitzed the bazaar and stolen what he wanted.

"You'll have to excuse me," he said forcibly, "sometimes I have these violent little spurts. Don't worry, I take medicine for it. But you set me off a little bit. I didn't say a thing about a saber, unless you're giving it to me for collateral until I return for the rest of the iron dust."

[AdventWings]

The merchant was taken aback by the sudden surge of malicious aura emanating from the man and it almost felt the entire room had gone up in flames. There was no visible flames licking at the wooden panels of the shelves nor were the metalwares glowing as bright as the sun. Even still, Edward was having a hard time keeping his posture calm.

"I, uh, I, ah." The young man slowly edged away from the large man, afraid of even touching the counter and nearly tumbled over his own chair. His mind was not processing anything with the gigantic red flag blowing in his head saying Danger! Danger! with no sign of stopping. But he needed to respond. Quickly.

"I, ah, will see if we can't grind down another ten pounds of iron for you. W- We should have it done by tomorrow morning, sir."

The red flag kept up its alarm even after the customer seemed to calm down. Edward was too afraid to ask himself why.

[Slayer of the Rot]

'Just like a frightened dog...all that's missing is the puddle of piss and tucked tail.' Dan drew in a deep breath and made a conscious effort to calm himself down as he watched the merchant's startled behavior. If the man was too frightened, he'd call the guards, and the Saraelian's entire trip would have been wasted.

"Ah...listen. Don't worry about it. Now that I think on it, the dust would be impractical. At least, until I got a decent amount of it. I had a few other things to pick up. I'd like to trade in this huge drill spear for a guan dao, if you have them." Dan produced a cigarette, lit it with a match, and glanced over his shoulder, out the door.

"And while you're at it, tell me where the nearest butcher shop is."

[AdventWings]

Edward kept nodding like a child as he listened to the large man, fear keeping the merchant's mouth shut hoping he would not set the irritable man on edge again. His eyes flickered to the rest of the store, remember spotting a few people popping in to browse the wares a few minutes earlier before his person came in. All he could now see was the man's gigantic form and nary another soul in sight.

Edward's heart sank as he realized he would be stuck inside this store alone with a walking time bomb. If some unfortunate event was to happen, there would be no witnesses to help identify the culprit.

Which was just Edward's luck for today.

"Uh, a Guan Do?" The name rolled awkwardly in the young merchant's tongue. He was not familiar with the term, but judging by the language it reminded him of a word that came up during a chat with the Quan merchant three days ago. If he remembered correctly, there should be something similar to the weapon the man was looking for. If not exactly, the items would be close enough.

"Uhh... I'm not sure if we have that ware in stock at the moment. However, I believe we have something similar at the north end of the shop by the staves and pikes. They're Akashiman Halberds with heads like curved meat cleavers. We have those with Steel and Delyn heads..."

The merchant flinched nervously as he anticipated the man's reaction, but continued on with his duties. If anything went wrong, he knew the Army should be on the scene within a few minutes. Well, at least they should.

"...And for the trade in, you should be able to afford three of the Steel types and perhaps one of each. I'll give them a price appraisal when you bring them over."

He gulped, waiting to react in nervous anticipation.

[Slayer of the Rot]

"Back there, eh?" Dan leaned to the side and glanced towards the back of the shop, bringing his cigarette to his lips. The heat in it flared red and retreated, burning away more than half of it in a single breath. "Akashiman arms usually work well enough when I'm looking for something like this," he mumbled as he lumbered past the clerk, tapping the ash on the floor.

Glassware rattled on their shelves as he moved towards the back of the store, his eyes passing lazily over the weapons and bits of armor on shelves and in cases. The further he found himself, the stranger and more unconventional the items became. There were useless knick-knacks; chess sets, ornate crystal bottles, fancy pens. He paused at a rack filled with dusty weapons. He suspected few people even glanced at the items. There weren't many who understood the damage a bladed fighting ring could do, or even use a spiked chains without shredding themselves. Adzes, sickles, slingshots, blowguns; all deemed useless by the average warrior while things such as katanas and fighting daggers flew off the shelves. It disappointed him a little, to see these weapons forgotten. He crouched and scowled a bit at what looked like a syringe, as large and heavy as his forearm. Most likely, they were all delivered by some of the more eccentric blacksmiths, and taken in by the merchant in the hopes that someone would find a use for them. Finishing his cigarette, Dan carefully pushed aside some hanging whips and squinted into the back of the rack, the guan dao nearly forgotten.

The dim light gleamed off a curved surface, and he reached further in, grabbing the object and lifting it off it's heavy wooden peg. Holding it up in front of his face, he smiled a bit. It was a steel meat hook, with a round wooden handle. It was built so that while you gripped the handle, the hook itself would jut out from between your middle and ring fingers. "Looks like I don't have to visit the butcher shop," he muttered, and stood, looking over his shoulder, searching for the staves and pikes.

He found them a few steps later, with the halberds proppped between the displays. They weren't precisely like the chinese polearms he could recall, but they were close enough for what he was wanting. He picked a steel one, with decorative serrations on the back of the blade, and a black shaft. Settling it against his shoulder, he walked back top the front of the shop, and set the hook down on the counter.

"I found this strange find amongst a few other oddities. I'll take it with this steel halberd, and don't forget to tack on that spool of steel razor wire I brought up earlier."

[AdventWings]

Even by the time the disguised beast returned to the counter, Edward was still scared witless and trying to calm himself down. Upon seeing the fearsome Akashiman weapon and the meathook on a stick, the merchant almost lost control of his bowels.

Thankfully, he was still on an empty stomach and had sweated most of the water out of his system. Safe to say, he was safely dehydrated of any chance to embarass himself.

"Uh, yes. I believe your purchase will be covered by your trade-in. Is there anything else you would like to see...?" He quickly responded, if perhaps a bit unusually quick.

Now, all the merchant wanted was for the man to leave without incident. Only then would the young man feel safe enough to go cry in the bathroom.

And probably find someone to get that heavy thing off the counter that was ready to split into two.

[Slayer of the Rot]

"No, I can't really think of anything I need at the moment," the Saraelian muttered, after thinking for a few moments. Glancing at each new weapon in turn, they all vanished, off into the rift where the rest of his things waited.

"Any spillover coinage from the trade-in? If not, I think we're through here."

((Just go ahead and close this after your next post, Raven.))

[AdventWings]

Edward clambered for the drawer, marking up the prices the disguised Saraelian had purchased and his store credit for turning in the weapon of great distruction. After a frantic minute of mumbling to himself, the young merchant finally found some peace of mind to respond without a fit of stutter.

"Th-That about evens out, sir." Trying his best to keep his cool, Edward did not even realize the dangerous man had already left with the wares.

With the fire gone from the store, Edward's red flag disappeared and the youth felt as if he had just been through hell - and lived.

"Oh, man. That's the last time I hold out on getting an assistant..."

But no sooner had the boy threw himself down on a wooden stool, another muscle-bound figure pushed through the door and moved to the counter.

"Ahh!!! Please, don't hurt me! Take anything you want!"

Edward toppled from his chair and landed with a crash on the floor, cowering under the flimsy protection despite its completely defenseless properties. The new arrival, however, seemed surprised by the sudden display of fear and followed.

"Hey, Edward. Edward." Jirou, taking a stroll after closing the Akashiman for lunch, thought about giving the youth a visit before heading out for a quick bite with Miri. Sensing that the store was too quiet, he only decided to drop in and was surprised by the young man's trauma. "Hey, kid. It's me, Jirou. What's up?"

"J- Jirou...? Oh, thank the Thaynes! It's you!" He cried with joy, hugging the blacksmith's sooty arms as if it was the loveliest thing he had seen all day. "I thought you were that ogre who came in earlier! He brought in this weird spear and left with one of your halberds and a hook! The horror!"

Jirou's eyes immediately went to the Drill Spear not too far away - and sure enough, it was his Oni Yari which was sold just a few weeks ago. Pushing the bewildered merchant from his arm and rushing out to the door, the Akashiman blacksmith saw only the usual bustling crowd of Radasanthian bazaar-goers on their daily errands.

Dan Lagh'ratham... Jirou clenched his fist, staring into the crowd with dire determination. I'll get you one of these days...

"...Umm, Jirou? Can you get that spear off my counter... please? The top is about to split apart..."

((Transaction Complete!

Slayer of the Rot loses the Drill Spear in exchange for an Akashiman Guan Dao of Steel, a Steel Meathook with oak handle and a spool of Steel wire (~10 meters long)

Slayer of the Rot also receives 75 EXP for good IC interactions. See you again sometimes~))