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A Nony Mouse
03-21-08, 03:30 PM
Open to one

Leaves rustled in the cool breeze and the creek gurgled loudly over the smooth river rocks. Travis knelt down in the soft mud of its bank and reached his hand into the icy water. Grasping a smooth brown stone, he brought it up and held it in front of him to gaze at it. Droplets of water rolled down its surface and the sunlight glinted off the wetness. He smiled as he rose to his feet, tossing the small rock as he did. This was just as he remembered it all; home.

He strolled down the dirt path that wandered next to the small stream and peered through the leaves above him. The sun peeked through in places, making intricate patterns on the forest floor. Travis knew his parents’ house should be up ahead, but was reluctant to venture there just yet. The magic of the Citadel amazed him; how did those monks form the battlefields? While he enjoyed the incredibly accurate reproduction of his homeland, he was unsure whether he wanted to test its verisimilitude any further.

Birds chirped blissfully in a nearby tree, calling to each other in a language only they understood. He had grown up in this forest, with these sounds. Well, he corrected himself, not this forest. The battlefield reproduced from his memories was surprisingly accurate, whatever magic those monks worked had picked details out of the deep corners of his mind.

His heart sank slightly as he rounded a bend and saw that the house he had grown up in was not a part of the arena. Where it had stood there was now a clearing about fifty feet in diameter and roughly circular. Travis leaned on his cypress pole and thought about why he had come. Was it to prove himself? To visit his homeland? Or was there something else in the works here?

He thought about his recent journey through the region of Dheathain; the battles he had fought and the friends he had made. Traveling so far from his home had evoked a longing within him. That was surely part of why he was here. But there was more. The Citadel and its magic beckoned him, its mysteries drew him from far-off lands to do battle. The anxiety of not knowing who he faced, the thrill of being matched up against a challenging competitor; this all drove Travis to test himself.

He was made to fight; born for this moment.

Shaking his head to clear his mind, Travis waited for whoever would come to answer his silent challenge.

Seralcard
03-21-08, 03:54 PM
Trees lush and green reached out to shelter much of the forest from the harsh rays of the sun, but the dim shade was pale and discomforting next to the soft embrace of the night. A shadow hid amongst the trees, a sinister hooded figure, clad in black and out of place in the serenity of this peaceful grove. He wore obsidian armor over midnight robes, bracers and half greaves of steel, gauntlets with bestial claws. The stranger’s light boots barely made a sound as he ran across the emerald grass, a tail of scarlet trailing behind him from the sash around his waist.

Days of travel, by land and sea, had taken him from Scara Brae’s capital to that of Corone. Radasanth as it was called. Seralcard had come to steal a life at the whim of his employer, the cunning dark elf Drakar, and he had done so. The blood glistening on his talons whispered his success. But he stayed for something else.

Word of the magic of the Citadel was spread far and wide in this land. Tales of the power the monks possessed… of the treasures they bestowed. The assassin cared little for gold, but in this place he might earn a prize far more valuable. Something to free him from the shackles of darkness that locked him away from society, wary of what would happen were he ever discovered for the slayer of men that he was. All it would cost was the life of a stranger, one he may have simply killed for free.

A clearing marred his path, an empty circle open to the sun above, and a man stood there at his ease. The opponent. Seralcard hesitated as he stepped into the light, eyes of crimson and azure gleaming over his veil of red. The wind stirred his garb, pulling at his sash playfully, rustling the leaves on the trees behind him. He clenched his armored fists, it was about to begin.

A Nony Mouse
03-21-08, 05:48 PM
It wasn’t long before the challenger approached. Travis saw a shadow stop just outside the circular arena, waiting anxiously. After some hesitation, his opponent stepped into the light. The hooded man was clearly an assassin; blood dripped from his gauntleted hands and his eyes pierced into Travis like daggers. The stranger’s face was covered, obscuring further investigation. His posture spoke of his alertness; this would be a battle worth talking about.

Travis straightened and swung his cypress pole around to secure it on his back. Rubbing his forearms where his bracers should have been, the adventurer drew his dehlar short sword from its place at his waist. He didn’t want to show his full abilities right from the start. Let the stranger misjudge his combat abilities and grow overly confident. Travis’ swordsmanship was good enough that he could defend himself, but he was much more proficient with his pole. He swung the sword experimentally, adjusting to its heavy weight as he eyed his adversary. The assassin walked silently into the clearing and clenched his fists, clearly ready for battle.

The distance between the two closed quickly as Travis took four large steps toward his foe. From that distance, Travis saw the claws glistening on the fingertips of the assassin’s gauntlets. So he fights in close, Travis concluded. Knowledge of an opponent could determine the course of battle and Travis intended to learn all he could about the black-clad stranger. Gripping the heavy sword in his right hand, Travis swung toward the fighter’s chest in a wide attack as he planted his left foot. He’d need to gauge the man’s battle methods before he could begin to hope for a victory.

Seralcard
03-21-08, 06:24 PM
Waves of emerald grass swayed with the wind, the other warrior’s hair a red blaze in the breeze and the glare of the sun. As he drew his blade his green eyes met Seralcard’s, alight with the familiar glow of fear. No… excitement. Eyes narrowing, the assassin brushed aside the thought that this battle might end easily. A staff resting on his back, perhaps because he didn’t believe he needed the range, the fighter tested the fine blade in his hand.

Seralcard tensed as the man suddenly dashed forward, racing across the clearing and attacking without warning, forcing the assassin to leap back. The blade’s very edge sliced cleanly through the robes over Seralcard’s chest before his feet touched the ground, but as his soft boots met the grass once more he charged forward into the void left by the sword’s wide swing. His left hand lashed out to catch the swordsman’s wrist, the claws of his right a black blur as he struck for the man’s throat.

A Nony Mouse
03-21-08, 06:57 PM
Claws rushed into the wake left by Travis’ swing and the adventurer felt time slow as adrenaline began pumping through his veins. As the assassin’s gauntlets closed in on their targets, Travis released his hold on the sword and pulled his hand back out of range. His challenger’s claws raked the air harmlessly as the dehlar blade clattered to the ground. Travis’ other hand came up to intercept the second gauntlet, gripping the hand inches from his throat.

In his peripheral vision, Travis noticed his blade laid only a few steps away. If he could stun the fighter long enough to reach the sword, he’d be back in business. Stop planning and just fight, he chided himself.

He smirked at the assassin before twisting his left foot in preparation for his next attack. Knowing he had little time before his opponent reacted, Travis swiftly brought his right knee up into the assassin’s abdomen, using the man’s arm as leverage. There was no telling how the man would react to such a blow, but it was worth a try.

Seralcard
03-21-08, 07:22 PM
The sword fell to the grass forgotten as the fighter abandoned his weapon and withdrew his arm, catching the assassin’s wrist to stop a killing blow, smiling as he used the element of surprise. Fluidly shifting his stance, the warrior pulled upon Seralcard’s arm as he launched a kick. They were too close, locked within arm’s reach, and Seralcard grunted as the man’s knee crashed into his abs, forcing the air from his lungs.

Ripping his hand from the fighter’s grasp, the assassin retreated a few steps and settled into an offensive stance. Rushing back to meet the warrior Seralcard spun with a right kick the instant he was in range.

A Nony Mouse
03-21-08, 07:44 PM
The two fighters separated, Travis’ opponent stepping back to draw a full breath. With a quick glance, Travis judged the distance to his sword. When he turned back, his adversary was flying toward him with a vicious kick. The man moved fast, Travis had to give him that. The kick was aimed high and so Travis ducked low and rolled toward his sword. He felt the man’s greaves brush past him as his hand grasped the dehlar sword’s hilt. Pulling it close to him, he finished his roll and landed in a crouched position. His opponent had adjusted to his changed position and closed in while Travis was vulnerable.

Hefting the heavy blade while he rose to his feet, Travis struck out toward the assassin’s face with the pommel, hoping to break his nose and end the fight, though he knew in his gut that the fighter wouldn’t allow such an outcome. This challenger was his equal; that thought spurred Travis to match the man blow for blow.

Seralcard
03-21-08, 08:02 PM
Seralcard’s kick swept over the other fighter’s head, missing by bare inches as the man rolled away, and he stopped with his back to the other. Glaring over his shoulder he watched the red haired warrior expertly snatch up the dropped blade. Turning, the assassin dashed in while the man was still crouched, trying to catch him off balance. The fighter threw a punch leading with the weapon’s hilt, blade flashing in the sun. Dodging slightly to the right, Seralcard let the blow streak past his shoulder and launched a punch for the man’s chest. This warrior was clever, but the assassin wasn’t going to be surprised twice.

A Nony Mouse
03-21-08, 08:12 PM
The pommel strike missed the assassin’s head and put Travis in a vulnerable position. The hooded fighter struck out at his chest and the hit caught the red-haired warrior off guard. He stumbled back several steps, nearly falling backward, but expertly planted his feet to keep his balance. Realizing that this battle would take more skill than he could achieve with the sword, Travis made a decision.

Raising the dehlar short sword high over his head, he brought the heavy blade down and launched it end over end toward his opponent. The spinning blade wasn’t likely to do any damage, but it would give Travis the edge he needed; a distraction.

Reaching behind him, the determined fighter gripped his cypress pole and swung it around into his hands. As his blade closed in on its target, Travis lunged after it, pole at the ready.

Seralcard
03-21-08, 08:40 PM
Fist smashing into his opponent’s chest, the assassin forced the man back, staggering several yards but skillfully keeping his balance. As Seralcard readied his claws the man raised the short sword high, hurling it end over end. Eyes widening the assassin doubled back through the grass. He swung with his left hand, a metallic clang ringing out as the back of his gauntlet met the blade and swatted it out of the air, sending it flying into a nearby tree. The sword pierced the thick bark down to the hilt with a solid thunk.

Looking back to his opponent he quickly recovered his guard, the man nearly on top of him now after the distraction. The quarterstaff wasn’t just for show; the running warrior held it as though it were an extension of his being, and its range would place the assassin at a severe disadvantage. Seralcard bolted to his right, tearing up pieces of the soft soil beneath his feet with every step, escaping the open field into the shadow of the forest with the warrior right on his heels.

Reaching with his right Seralcard’s claws ripped into the trunk of tree and he used his momentum to swing about, wood splintering loudly as he left four ragged gashes through the bark in a half circle as he whipped around the other side and slashed at his opponent with his left gauntlet.

A Nony Mouse
03-21-08, 08:51 PM
The dehlar short sword spun through the air and was deftly batted aside by the assassin. Travis was surprised at his dexterity, but pushed it to the side of his mind as he closed in on the man. Seeing Travis so close, the fighter tore off into the woods. Travis gave chase, the killer was entering his domain now; he had grown up in these woods and knew every tree like the back of his hand. This was the time to press his advantage.

The clawed gauntlet left gashes in the soft bark of a tree as Travis’ enemy used it to reverse his momentum. Travis was ready for him as he came around the other side of the tree with his hand extended. The cypress pole launched through the air to beat aside the gauntlet. Taking a step forward, Travis whipped the other end of the pole toward his adversary’s legs, hoping to trip him up.

Seralcard
03-21-08, 09:06 PM
The crack of wood against metal echoed through the small forest and sent the singing birds scattering in fear. Seralcard’s hand was knocked wide and he barely had time to react as his opponent’s second attack seamlessly followed the first, slamming into the assassin’s greaves. The blow didn’t hurt with steel to protect him, but he was already moving at a near run and was sent tumbling. He tried turning the fall into a roll yet the awkward way his shoulder hit the grass mocked his attempt, and that did hurt.

Seralcard rose to his feet somewhat shakily but gave himself no time to lick his wounds, he couldn’t afford to against this man. Eyes focused on how the warrior moved, how the smooth staff was twirled deftly in the man’s grasp, he lunged back into the fray, slashing with his right, determined to keep the battle within arm’s length.

A Nony Mouse
03-21-08, 09:22 PM
Flying through the air, Travis’ opponent tried to twist his fall into a roll but his shoulder smashed into the ground instead. However, the assassin was soon back on his feet and he brought on an attack in full force. The way he swung, Travis could tell the same pole maneuver was not going to work a second time. With only a few short instants before the clawed gauntlet met its mark, Travis dropped to one knee.

He raised the pole over his head with both hands so that the gauntlet’s attack was thwarted. Swinging his other leg into his enemy’s waist, Travis used the man’s momentum against him. As the black-clad warrior rose into the air and over Travis’ head, he pushed out with his legs, sending the man flying. He heard his opponent land yards away, but wasted no time.

Travis was prone on his back and so he rolled to the right and pushed himself back up to his feet. That counter may have given him a golden opportunity to end the fight and he wasn’t about to pass that up. He turned once again to face his opponent.

Seralcard
03-21-08, 09:51 PM
The warrior brought up his staff to block Seralcard’s heavy blow, falling back to the ground under the power of the attack, allowing the assassin to bear down on him and— he grunted as a pair of leather boots hit his middle, leveraging the strength of his attack with the speed of his run, and tossing him through the air past the warrior.

For a disorienting moment his feet hovered over a bed of leaves, a roof of grass and soil over his head, before he tried to right himself as he spun through the air. Crashing into the ground and sliding back, digging rifts through the dirt with his claws to kill his speed, the assassin gritted his teeth as he came to a stop, pushing himself from the ground with grass and dirt still clinging to his clothes. He threw a punch at the tree on his left, cracking the wood, sending a tremor through the branches that made leaves leap off in fright.

Death was not a thing to fear. It was a part of Seralcard’s life, it had been how he survived since he was a child; it was the only thing that made sense. As he glared to this warrior, this insufferable man, he hungered to take that life in a way he hadn’t in days. Taking a slow step forward, shrouded in a black silence, the assassin moved to meet his opponent’s next attack.

A Nony Mouse
03-21-08, 10:01 PM
Leaves rained down as the assassin punched a nearby tree, apparently in frustration. Travis couldn’t help but grin as he moved forward in a fighting stance. However, he was quick to catch himself. Don’t get too proud of yourself. Taking a second to scan the trees nearby, he located his sword. Embedded up to the hilt in the trunk of a huge oak tree, Travis pushed that idea aside. I’ll need a few moments to get that out, he commented as he focused his attention on his opponent.

The black-clad man waited in silence for the other to make the next move. Finally given a chance to go on the offensive, Travis weighed his options. Steel claws against cypress wood; never a good combination unless done correctly. Pulling the pole back beside his hip, Travis thrust straight for his enemy’s chest in an explosion of power. Time to see how well the fighter could defend with those claws.

Seralcard
03-21-08, 10:22 PM
Seralcard readied as the warrior moved forward, deliberately retreating three steps, past the crack he’d marked in the tree at his side. There was a reason he had fled to the forest, and it was not cowardice. The assassin tensed before the attack, the fighter lunged forward, thrusting the staff with all his might. With serpentine grace, Seralcard dashed just to the right, turning to his left and striking the staff with the palm of his right gauntlet. Claws locking around the wood, his inhuman strength smashed the weapon against the tree trunk with a resounding crash. Splintering, fracturing, the staff snapped as its front end was forced around the natural pillar. Rushing in along the broken remnants of the weapon still clutched in the warrior’s hand Seralcard struck for the man’s face with his elbow.

A Nony Mouse
03-21-08, 10:50 PM
Travis was stunned by his opponent’s display of strength and made no effort to halt his progress forward. The warrior’s elbow smashed into his nose, spurting blood everywhere and sending him reeling back. He still held onto the short, splintered remnants of his pole; little good that would do him now. The assassin stepped forward, his confidence likely stoked by the recent events. However, Travis was far from done.

Wiping the blood away from his face, he turned and raced through the trees. This is where he grew up; if the Citadel’s magic had reproduced everything except his parents’ house correctly, he knew exactly where he was headed.

Travis heard his adversary give chase and wondered how fast the man could run. Weaving his way in between the trees, he heard the breathing behind him sounding closer. Underestimated him, Travis chastised himself. He picked up the pace and dodged to his left between a rywan tree and a large rock. Just a little farther to go, he told himself as the assassin still closed in.

He could practically feel the steel claws at his back, but it didn’t matter; he was there. One last push off solid earth took him out over a twenty foot drop into the meandering river below. Please be there, he prayed silently as he dropped down next to the cliff face. His prayers were answered as his hand grabbed a sturdy root growing from the cliff and halted his fall abruptly. The broken end of his cypress pole spiraled down to land with a splash in the river below.

He hoped the assassin would follow it; the fall wouldn’t kill him, but it certainly wouldn’t be pleasant.

Seralcard
03-21-08, 11:23 PM
Elbow crashing into the warrior’s face and sending him to the floor, the assassin tossed away the ragged half of the weapon he still clutched, turning his merciless gaze on the fallen fighter. Meeting his stare defiantly the man rose to his feet, turning and sprinting off into the woods. You aren’t escaping. Seralcard set off after him at a dead run.

Darting from one tree to the next with all the cunning and agility of a woodland creature the warrior raced through the forest, over fallen logs and under lowered branches, around bends and turns that seemed to jump out of nowhere as though the man had meticulously placed them there himself. Seralcard ran close behind, gaining inch by inch even as nature did all in its power to bar his path.

He lost the man for an instant, red hair disappearing in the thick brush, and the assassin followed the fighter like a starving predator. Crashing through the barrier of leafy branches that barred his path Seralcard’s eyes hit a wall of blinding white as he suddenly lost the protection of the shaded forest canopy, taking another running step that never met the earth. Arms flailing, the wind tore at the assassin as he fell, his vision clearing to let him see clear water over smooth stone rushing up to meet him and he crossed his arms in a vain last minute defense. A wave of water erupted from the river as a shocking chill engulfed his senses. The surface may as well have been solid for its violent stinging bite, the force of the fall carrying the assassin down to hit the river rocks below with a muffled thud, a cloud of bubbles escaping his lips as the air was ripped from his lungs.

Painfully, desperately, Seralcard dragged his way across the bottom, managing to swim to the cliff face and drive his talons into the side to keep his head above water. Raggedly gasping for air his chest burned, body aching as he tried to collect himself. Looking up he could see the figure of his opponent clinging to the side of the cliff, far too high to reach now. It was too steep to climb, not right after the fall he had taken, so Seralcard’s eyes swept left and right. There had to be another way back.

A Nony Mouse
03-21-08, 11:37 PM
The surface of the water broke with a resounding crack as his opponent slammed into it. Travis allowed himself no chance to celebrate his victory just yet, however; the assassin would be back. Knowing he had bought himself only a moment’s respite, he began hauling himself up the cliff face. It wasn’t too hard; he simply pulled himself up on the root until he could grab the edge of the cliff. From there, his tired arms pulled him onto the solid ground once again. Laying face down in the grass for a moment, Travis let the calm breeze chill the sweat clinging to his body. Back to work, he told himself as he scrambled to his feet.

Breaking into a light jog, Travis made his way quickly back to the clearing. Taking the familiar twists and turns of the woods, he allowed himself to sink into a comfortable repetition. Time to plan. Freeing the sword from where it was embedded in a tree trunk seemed like a good first course of action. From there is was anybody's guess. After a few more moments, he broke into the clearing where his house should have been and scanned the edge of the arena. The dehlar short sword was on the other side.

Slowing to a walk, Travis crossed the dirt and grass clearing and gripped the hilt tightly with both hands. Heaving with all his might, the warrior slowly inched the blade from the tree. With one last tug, the sword pulled free of the bark and fell to the ground beside the adventurer. His muscles screamed in protest, but he knew he had to finish the battle. Sheathing the sword for the time being, he turned and began making his way back toward the cliff.

He followed a path that would lead him downriver from where the assassin had hit the water, also the obvious place for his opponent to emerge. Stretching his muscles as he walked so he stayed limber, he grinned as he thought about the battle. This is what he lived for… and there was more to come.

Seralcard
03-22-08, 12:00 AM
Water weighed heavily on Seralcard’s clothes, tiny rivers flooding off him and dampening the soil at his feet. The river had washed away the blood that stained him, but in its place was water and more water. He would have preferred to keep the blood. Looping two clawed fingers through the slash in his shirt made by his opponent’s first attack the assassin ripped away the soaking fabric, using both hands to tear away the heavy clothes until he was bare above the waist with only the long cloth of his crimson veil to cover his face. He was uncomfortable without the hood, but this much was necessary. Heat poured over his chiseled naturally tanned hairless frame, sunlight glistening over his wet scar crossed muscles, a distinct bullet wound on his chest a bare inch from his heart. Fresh bruises were beginning to form over his arms, chest, and back, their dull pain reminding him of every blow he had taken.

Leaving the tattered rags at the riverside the assassin ran into the woods, staying off the beaten path, moving low and clinging to the forest shadows as best he could. A glimmer of movement through the trees alerted him into stillness. His breath slowed to nothing as the figure came nearer, until he could make out his opponent moving cautiously down towards the river, short blade now in hand. As the man passed mere feet away Seralcard made his move, stalking silently, but when he went in for the kill a branch snapped audibly just as he lashed out for the man's neck with his left hand.

A Nony Mouse
03-22-08, 12:09 AM
The snapping branch alerted Travis of his opponent’s position only an instant before the clawed gauntlet slashed toward his neck. In a reflex reaction, Travis brought the dehlar sword up to protect his face. The steel claws of the assassin raked against the metal blade and were turned away from their target just enough to allow Travis to live. Unfortunately, they bit deeply into the flesh of his arm instead.

Wincing against the pain, but pushed on by a surge of adrenaline, Travis aimed a punch at the man’s face with his free hand. I need to get his claws off me, his mind screamed. The sword was a close range weapon, but it still required some room to swing it. Trapped this close to the tanned and scarred assassin, Travis had no hope of attacking effectively.

Seralcard
03-22-08, 12:26 AM
Sparks flew as steel claws raked against the face of the dehlar blade, sliding past and biting into the fighter’s arm, tearing away flesh and painting the nearby leaves in sanguine. The warrior’s fist came over Seralcard’s arm, a desperate attack that crashed across his jaw painfully. The assassin glared balefully at his opponent, a man endlessly determined, evenly matched. Striking out with his right, his talons went to seize the fighter’s injured arm.

A Nony Mouse
03-22-08, 12:45 AM
Steel claws went to grab Travis’ sword arm and he sidestepped deftly to avoid their reach. Swinging the dehlar sword with both hands, Travis caught the assassin’s side with the flat of the blade. Fatigue, inexperience, and blood loss were all quickly conspiring against Travis as the half-naked warrior batted the blade aside. The claws raked across Travis’ brigandine, leaving shimmering scratches where the steel met iron underneath. Taking a step back, the adventurer raised his sword high over his head and took one deep breath.

In that instant, time stopped for Travis. He felt his heart pounding in his ears and the blood pulsing from his numerous wounds. Adrenaline had long since run its course and his muscles were becoming sore. The short sword he wielded felt like deadweight in his hands, his pole had been completely destroyed, and his vision began to blur. The battle was nearly over for the red-haired fighter.

As his opponent lunged forward, Travis summoned all of his strength into the overhead slice. The dehlar blade sang as it plummeted through the air to cleave the assassin’s skull. However, Travis’ already mediocre swordsmanship was severely hampered by the blood loss; his sword’s strike was off-target and his enemy easily dodged out of harm’s way.

The clawed gauntlets flashed in the sun as they lunged for him and then the assassin was upon him. Travis took momentary solace in the fact that it would all be over soon…

Seralcard
03-22-08, 01:07 AM
Slow, weak, the fighter’s sword streaked down past the assassin harmlessly as the warrior reached the very end of his rope. The claws of Seralcard’s left hand wrapped around the man’s throat, slamming him back against a tree, the blade clattering to the ground. Jeweled eyes of ruby and sapphire met green for a moment that stretched for a very long time. This was not a battle to be forgotten, the warrior had fought well. Very well. But now it was over, “…Your name?”

As Seralcard loosened his grip slightly the fighter arched an eyebrow, pained and slightly confused, but even now unafraid, “Travis… Travis Kiltias…”

The assassin nodded, raising his right hand slowly, “It will be remembered.” With a single blow his talons savagely pierced the man’s armor with the tearing of metal and a cruel wet snap. His fingers broke through several ribs, burrowing deeply into the warrior’s chest, and grasped the fighter’s sternum. Viciously pulling away, Seralcard ripped the bone free in a spray of blood and gore that spilled onto the dark soil beneath them. Glistening red, ragged fractured pieces of bone still connected to the sides, the assassin let it fall to the ground and released his opponent. It was done.

A Nony Mouse
03-22-08, 01:27 AM
A white haze surrounded Travis as he answered the assassin. Though he should have been wracked with excruciating pain, he felt nothing. He was vaguely aware of his opponent tearing into his chest, snapping bones and puncturing organs. It mattered not.

He focused on the trees, how their leaves blew gently in the wind and their branches leaned to the side with the force of it. Birds soared through the air, but the fallen warrior couldn’t hear their calls. The world was slipping away from him with every beat of his heart. Farther and farther.

Soon he felt cool stone beneath him and the soft brush of brown robes. Hands gently touched him, knitting his life back together and repairing lethal damage. As he fell into darkness, he heard the soft murmur of voices around him. But no words.

Spoils:
Seralcard:
Face of the Void: A featureless obsidian mask with a special enchantment. When worn it grants no special attributes and in no way hinders opponents in battle. However when the wearer leaves a character's presence, that character cannot recall what the wearer looked or sounded like, so as not to be able to describe the wearer to a third party in any way. To clarify, this does not erase memories of events at all- it merely blurs the image and sounds associated with the wearer.*

* As a special limitation this item can only be used in solos and in quests where all the other writers agree to submit to the mask's effects. I will forfeit all earned gold and, if deemed necessary, experience earned by my character in this battle to attain this item, as it is absolutely vital so that I can use this character to roleplay with the characters of my friends.

Travis:
No need to repair his pole; it is an acceptable loss. However, feel free to compensate him for this loss in whatever way you see fit ;-) Other than that, just the usual GP and EXP. Thanks!

Skie and Avery
04-03-08, 10:52 PM
Quest Judging
Back to Irlandes

A Nony Mouse is in green.
Seralcard is in red.

STORY

Continuity
6
5
Neither of you gave me much here. Okay, so you'd heard about the Citadel. So, Travis was a bit homesick. That's it? That's all there is behind the passion of the battle? The lack of internal dialogue from both of you hurt a lot here, because I really don't get why people are dying today. "Well, Seralcard is a murderer." can't be all there is to find for inspiration.

Setting
6
7
While Seralcard did come out on top here for painting a better picture, I do want you to know that the reason you didn't get an 8 is because physics exists on Althanas. Use the setting, but use it believably. Whipping around the tree like you're a stripper on a greased pole is high unbelievable.

Pacing
5
5
Both of you need to realize that there's a difference between keeping the pace of reading quick for a battle, and keeping your post length down. Pacing can be excellent with several great paragraphs. Four sentence paragraphs don't always mean your pacing will be beautiful. Also, if you could keep from giving a run down of what happened in the post before yours every time you start a post, no matter how long your post is, it'll make it flow better. React, don't commentate. That way, you can give your reactions and next action rich descriptive detail and internal dialogue to go with it and not bog down a post.

CHARACTER

Dialogue
0
1
What dialogue? Not only did you not speak to each other, form thoughts out loud, curse, etc, I didn't see any of your thoughts. Just stating that your opponent is an even match to you and your character feels that they need to be quick in their actions doesn't count. I need the moment when their eyes widen and they go, "His power level is OVER NINE THOUSAND!" You can narrate that they're going to be a tough nut to crack all day long, but until you give me that thought where they think to themselves, "Well, this Duracel Bunny just keeps going..." I have nothing that tells me anything of their character.

Action
6
6
This was okay, nothing spectacular. Also, there were posts that seemed bunnied, though I get the feeling that it was okayed. When you have that situation, where you're going to "combine posts" to put someone else's actions/reactions/dialogue into your post, make a note of it in the post where it first happens, or at the beginning of the thread. I got to post 13, where Seralcard got thrown over Travis' head, and was ready to dock points. Post 16 had a weapon broken, without obvious permission. Let's not even get into the ending of the thread. I didn't dock points this time, but sometimes a judge won't just assume that it was okay.

Persona
0
0
I got absolutely nothing of your characters personalities in this thread. It was really disappointing. They fought like badass kung fu masters, but are either one of them really badass kung fu masters? Or any chunk of that description? I don't know. You gave me nothing.

WRITING STYLE

Technique
5
5
You both did okay here. A Nony Mouse's style flourished a bit more, and Seralcard had more description, but I can't say it was better description. You both write really similarly, and while there was a lot of description, you were both just telling me. I got a run down of actions, maybe some pain. The writing had little flow, few literary techniques, and mostly read like middle school fanfiction. A personal style will come more as you grow as writers, and I can't wait to see you guys come into your own.

Mechanics
9
8
Both of you do really great here, but Seralcard should watch his comma usage. Sometimes there were breaks in the sentence with a comma that didn't really need to go there.

Clarity
6
7

MISCELLANEOUS

Wild Card
5
5

TOTAL
48
49
Seralcard Wins

Seralcard gains 500 EXP and 755 GP
A Nony Mouse gains 150 EXP and 188 GP

Seralcard does not gain Face of the Void. That item had nothing to do with this thread. If it is so important, you should quest/battle for it directly.

Witchblade
04-04-08, 11:32 AM
EXP and GP added!