Acinvar, city of Fractions

[Kupo!]

“I’ve been working on the Railrooooaddd, all the Kipo day!” It had been like that for the last hour and a half. An ear piercing scream of a very old children’s rhyme, butchered by a small yellow sheep like creature known only as a Yan. The potential to destroy the world, wasted in one small creature that preferred to skip and dance and preach about the round guy.

Not that anyone really cared. Considering the only people surrounding the Yan was a moogle with a hangover, a cactus like creature with a moustache painted on it, and a turtle like creature with a lantern in its hand, and a rusty knife in the other. He wasn’t much help. Every once in a while the cactus would sing along (or shout out obscene expletives, nobody really knows which…) with the added words of, “Boi, Boi, Boi, BOIIII!” And if things got to out of place, the turtle would poke a rock and say in a very grim, whispery voice, “Doink!” and things would remain awkwardly silent for the next few moments until the process repeated.

So how do a moogle, a Yan, a cactus, and a turtle end up in a situation like this? Well it’s rather simple when a moogle alchemizes a new type of iron…weaker than the first and sells millions of gold worth and gets assaulted by the long arm of the law (multiple times mind you) and enslaved to the fraction known as the Tezzi, the mages fraction. Why they couldn’t call themselves a Faction nobody truly knew, but that wasn’t up to Duke the Moogle to decide.

“Kupo, how long have we been at this?” Duke asked Tim, his Yan friend.

“Twenty minutes, Kipo!” Sorry Duke, looks like the narrator screwed that up. (ATTENTION ALL READERS, REPLACE THE FIRST LINE ‘It had been like that for the last hour and a half.’ AND REPLACE WITH ‘It had been like that for the last twenty minutes.)

The moogle frowned his furry head, looking to the sky as if cursing something.

“GET BACK TO WORK BEFORE THE GREAT VIN TEZZIM EATS YOU!” a guard shouted.

“BLOW IT UP YOUR KIPO YOU KIPO!” Tim yelled back. Duke just shook his head.

“WHAT IN GODS NAME IS A KIPO?” The guard shouted back confused.

“IT’S KUPO!” Duke shouted to the sky, raising his hands to the side as if cursing some unknown burden he was forced carry. “KUPO FOR THE LOVE OF KUPO, IT’S KUPO!”

“YA KIPO!” the yan added.

“Ok, WHO IS KUPO KIPO?” The guard shouted again. Duke was on the verge of killing something, but the turtle coughed silently and poked a rock.

“Doink.” He said in a dead whisper. The atmosphere suddenly grew quiet.

“Why the hell do I feel intimidated?” The Guard said loudly. “LUNCH!” At the prospect of food the cactus, turtle and Yan all walked up the path following a few other strange people, a human, a lizard like person, and another human. (He wasn’t there at first, but now I see him.) Duke wondered how his luck could be so…cruddy. Then he thought about the guy known as Karel Raven. And soon he realized one thing, he didn’t have it nearly as hard as that man. All the events he had to go through, all the battles, and the deaths. It made Duke want to vow for something.

“I vow never to blow my problems out of proportion, Kupo!” The moogle said. He could feel a presence nodding in agreement, and then he walked on.

[Father Snew]

"JESUS CHRIST IS THE LORD AND SAVIOR!" The yell pierced the mid morning air as it echoed through the basilica. It was quite obvious that the owner of the voice had become rather vehement in his belief.

"Get out of here before we indict you for trespassing!" The response was also rather vehement but also cold. As the two faced off it was obvious someone was going to lose today, and in the test of nerve, one finally cracked.

"This is a godless shrine!" The man in black attire said as he turned to go. Teddy bear in hand he walked by when he didn't notice perhaps the worst thing of all, the ring on the drawstring had become snagged, and with the turn it had been pulled, until the ring slipped loose and the obnoxious accented bear began its tirade.

"Listen here fat ass, you're working up my buddy here. I suggest you learn a bit of humility before I shove my fluff filled foot up your size godzilla ass!"

Valentine stopped as he heard the voice and closed his eyes. He knew the bear had hit a soft spot on the rather rotund man. As he turned to go the man spoke up;

"Listen here, just because you change your voice doesn't mean you can go about slandering the Church of Vohzro one more outburst and you will be forcibly removed!" The rather fat man said.

While Father Snew was normally a kind and compassionate man, that man was not around, especially when a certain finger looped through the ring of the drawstring and pulled it back with a smile that oozed sadistic glee.

"Listen here tubby, the way I see it there ain't no harm in telling you your shirts come in three sizes, extra large, extra extra large and OH MY GOD ITS COMING THIS WAY!"

Snew chuckled as he pulled it again, "So get your fat ass outta here cause this is a public church and my buddy is going to preach. Either you put up with it, or you go and eat a few chilly dogs, either way get your tubby ass outta his way..."

The priest stuttered slightly as he began to walk off running quickly in order to try and tell someone about the insults the bear had viciously given. Valentine smiled as he pulled the drawstring and said, "To think, I almost threw you out when I got here..."

"Damn skippy you shouldn't, we could go places man. We could gamble and make millions, you could build your damn church and I could finally get all the ladies I could ask for..." The bear replied.

"What would you do with Ladies?" Snew asked quizically.

"Its all about big pimping my man, big pimping..."

[Kupo!]

After Duke the moogle had eaten his lunch (A measly rot farm stew provided by the Iraglog fraction) and promptly through it up faster than an anorexic woman after a muffin, the moogle and his doll companion were free to go until the next day where they would continue to work off the Tezzi debt.

The city of Acinvar was full of life as it seemed not a square inch of the town was empty. So many people hummed about, most in robes of high rank, and others in rags. Being no bigger than the height of the average human’s knee it was easy for Duke to spot people trying to steal from others. One thief had tried to take his pom pom, which ended horribly as Tim snorted him away (and a few other pedestrians) forcing the Sorob legion fraction to intervene claiming that they were just “upholding the peace.” which in bored cop lingo meant, “We have nothing better to do than write you mofo’s tickets. Chill out while I try to think of some sheeit to put on your record.” After all was said and done, Duke was in a debt no sane man would live for.

“Wow kipo,” Tim said smugly as the cops left. “I didn’t know you could get a ticket for having a circular cat toy hat, walking with wings, and being overly short in a non short section.” Duke again looked up to the sky and cursed the goddess of fate. A ticket for his pom pom? What next?

“Boi!” The little guy said jumping up and down.

“Oh ya Kipo, and public nudity!” Tim added. Duke had looked at Tim’s stupid expression and finally snapped, his little moogle muscles tensing all over.

“I have fur KUPO!” Duke shouted. “I don’t wear clothes!” Tim walked forward a bit and said in a solemn tone,

“Yelling at us won’t do you any better, kipo.” Duke sighed nodding. He had his friends to rely on at this point; he might as well not try to lose them as well.

“Sorry kupo, it’s just that it seems in this day and age if your not stealing your getting nowhere in life!” Tim nodded, which meant he wasn’t even paying attention. Suddenly a dark and devious idea crossed the moogle’s mind. He looked up and saw two more thieves’ bag money from some fat people.

“Kipo, you look like you want to pee your fur!” Duke looked at Tim confused.

“Kupo?” Duke asked.

“Kipo!” Tim insisted.

“Kupo.” Duke said offhandedly.

“KIPO!” Tim persued.

“Kupo!” Duke slammed his tiny foot down sealing the deal.

“Ok Kipo, we’ll steal the money we need to leave this place. But where will we get a magnitude of that much income?”

Duke pondered for a moment rubbing his chin. A voice in the crowd began to stand out.

“Man, the Vohzro church is just plain wrong man. They clean out everyone’s pockets. In fact, I’m not to sure they aren’t the richest fraction, next to the Tezzi and Cimis. But they don’t lift a finger for the cash they rake in. They got lucky however, they didn’t invest heavily in that god awful Iron Two crap. Tezzi lost a lot of money and Cimis are pissed at the results of their failed experiments.” Duke’s beady eyes formed upon his friends.

“Kipo?” Tim asked.

“Kupo!” Duke nodded. Tim nodded as well looking around.

“Okay, so we rob all three of the fractions at once, but how? We are kinda small kipo!” Tim pointed out.

“We need someone with skill Kupo,” Duke said flying up and looking around. “Someone with a unique edge,” He heard something talking. “Someone who has a fast mouth to get us the information we need, kupo.”

“Its all about big pimping my man, big pimping..." Duke saw the man in black say.

“Kipo, I think we found it.” Tim whispered slyly to the little green guy.

“Doink.” The turtle muttered.