First impressions are indeed lasting ones (Closed to The-Ace-of-Spades)

[Versus Terminus]

The rain fell heavy as Raynill walked down the dust road of the town, his hair drenched and his clothes soaked. Only thing he could hear over the rain was the shouts of the townsfolk to get into shelter and the wet clapping sound of his footsteps against the muddy and wet path. He looked up and watched as the clouds slowly shifted inward, veiling the sun and darkening the skies until the clouds consumed it all. The first crashing sound of thunder bellowed over Raynill as he took his eyes from his dismal view and to the sight of a frightened couple running side by side down the path the opposide direction. Besides the couple and himself the streets were empty except for the abandoned merchant stands lining the streets and the sight of people watching through their windows the storm brewing.

"Storms supposed to be getting pretty bad tonight!" Raynill glances ahead of him towards the shout and sees a middle aged man underneath an overhang of a small tavern, a lit cigarette rests in the corner of his mouth. "Hey! You hear me son, may want to get in here before it gets to nasty outside!"

Raynill continues walking mind still focused on getting to his destination, only glaring at the stranger out of the corner of his eye, "How far am I from the docks?" He asks over another crash of thunder.

"The docks? You still got a good bit of ways to go, at least five hours from where you standing right now." He puffs his cigarette and blows smoke that dissapears underneath the rain. "No way you gonna make it with this storm like it gonna be though. My tavern here still open though, come in and drink through it!"

Five hours? Raynill thinks to himself with a sigh of frustration, stoppping in his tracks. Could've swore I was closer than that. He had already been traveling almost full day without rest and another five hours through a storm would have been to much even for him.

He shakes his head and makes his way toward the tavern door, "I won't share with you your alcohol but will take your offer for shelter." Raynill tells the man as he walks towards the tavern and escapes the downpour underneath the overhang.

"Fair enough." The man throws his cigarette to the floor with a friendly smile drawn over his face. "Just go find someplace to relax inside and I'll have a waitress bring you over a towel to dry yourself off with." Raynill nods and opens the bar door. "Now what in the heck is the point of a sword with two blunt sides?" The man asks as Raynill passes him. Raynill simply pats the sword strapped to his back and continues his way into the building, hearing the man smirk as he do so.

The tavern was cluttered with chairs and round, wooden tables. On the opposite side of the tavern was door that one would assume led to the kitchen. Only a hand few of people populated the tavern, some seeming out of place and obviously just there for shelter while others fit right into the scene, a mug loosely held in their fingertips and their faces red as apples from drinking to much. Raynill notices a few eyes peer his way as he is walking towards a corner booth but as eye contact is made with them they quickly pretend they were staring at something else.

Raynill was not a fan of being in such a place, to many idiots, to many incidient waiting to happen, to many corner of the eye glares to make him suspicious, to many people in general...

No one ever with any information on Leger or his group though, ever.

Before taking his seat Raynill unstraps Last Sin from his back and places it in between his legs as he sits, He leans forward and shuts his eyes, resting his elbows crossed on top of the table. Trying desperately to get some sleep over rain pounding the ceiling overhead and the boom of thunder.

[The-Ace-Of-Spades]

Seth had just arrive in town when the storm hit. Lightning tore through the sky and the thunder rocked the very earth beneath his feet. Everyone had already found shelter from the storm. He had been on the main road into town when the storm came about and wasn't close to shelter. He ran through the town with his wet and worn out map trying to find where the inn was.

"Hey, if your looking for shelter, the tavern is just around the corner." a voice had shouted to him from the cracked door of one of the neighboring houses.

He threw a hand up and shouted back, "Thank you!" though he wasn't sure if he heard him because another clap of thunder silenced everything else. He thrust the map into his jacket and ran full speed toward the tavern.

The smell of alcohol pointed him in the right direction before the sign did. A man stood under the overhang of the tavern when he saw Seth come into view. "Get out of that storm, boy!" ,the man was waving him in.

Seth made his way to the overhang soaking wet from head to toe. "Thanks, this storm hit before I manage to make it into the city." The man handed him a towel. "I guess the gods are not in my favor today." Another bolt of lightning flew through the sky, followed by another large clap of thunder. Seth shook his fist at the sky. "Oh, shut it!"

After drying himself off, he made his way inside. He saw a group of men in the corner playing cards. "I might play against them later" he said to himself. He saw two of the waitresses talking among themselves. The bar was full of drunks that seemed as though they were about to fall out of there seats at any minute. He glanced at all the people that filled the tavern until one struck his eye.

A man sitting alone in the opposite corner, he lay leaned against his sword with his eyes closed. He proceeded closer and sat three seats away from him. Seth pulled a piece of paper out of his pocket and layed it on the table in front of him. It was a request.

"I'm begging you, this man must be killed. He is a demon and a hellbringer. He must be stopped at all costs. In this envelope I've included an idea of where he is to be traveling. He is a slinder man but well cut and has black hair of mid length but what will really give him away is his sword. A short sword with two blunt edges. The name of this demon is...."

"Raynill Dagon" he whispered to himself. "There is no doubt, that has to be him, but what is he doing in a public tavern like this? Either he is very cocky, very stupid, or doesn't realize that he has a hit on him." he continued watching the man out of the corner of his eye to see what he was up to.

[Versus Terminus]

Another shot of nearby thunder forces Raynill's eyes opens, this time the thunder is accompanied with a flash of lightning that turns every window in the tavern white for a split second. With a long, drawn out sigh he slowly leans back against his seat and puts his arms into his lap. Even when I'm resting I can't rest. Raynill thinks to himself shaking his head. Trying to sleep through the ruckus of the storm was useless and only caused him to be more frustrated, along with the fact he was forced to stop in the first place. He had originally planned to be at the docks over an hour ago...

The kitchen door in the back of the tavern opens and a tall yet slender waitress walks out in Raynill's direction, catching the attention of most of the drunks as she did. She reached him and handed him the towel, forcing her lips into a tired smile as she does. "Here you go." Her voice is soft yet aggrivated.

"Thanks," Raynill says drying his hair and running the towel down his face.

"Anything to eat or drink?" The waitress asks.

Raynill lowers the towel from his face to respond but his eyes meet up with a black haired man sitting just a couple tables away, just glancing past the waitress at him out of the corner of his eye before he slowly turns back to stare at a piece of paper. This man was not there before Raynill had begun to doze off in his corner booth. The glare was different then those he recieved from the drunks or other stragglers upon entering the tavern, this young man's glare had purpose behind it, questions. Sheathed at the young man's side was a blade...

The waitress turns her head with a confused look on her face and then looks back at Raynill, "Yeah he's kind of cute... So can I get you anything to eat or drink?" She repeats unpatiently.

Raynill draws his focus on her once again and lets a slight chuckle out under his breath, "A glass of water will be fine." He tosses the towel back at her and she clumsily catches it over her hand.

"One glass of water then." She replies aggrivatedly, turning back around and goes back through the kitchen door. Once again every head turns to get one last peek at her before she dissapears.

Raynill has always been paranoid even though usually his suspicions are just that, suspicion. He grabs Last Sin by it's hilt and lays it on the table, setting it down just loud enough to ensure the black haired man hears it even over the thunder and downpour. The thud of Last Sin hitting the table causes several drunks and stragglers to slowly look in his direction with blank red eyed glares.

He looks fast. Raynill thinks to himself, already planning out a fight. Wonder if that's the only weapon he's got. Raynill lowers his head yet keeps eyes focused on the black haired man, waiting to see if the man makes a move or to see if paranoia really is a problem of his.

[The-Ace-Of-Spades]

The sound of the man's sword hitting the table echoed throughout the tavern. Seth turned and glanced in the man's direction and noticed that his eyes were locked on him. He let out a small smile in the man's direction before looking the other way. He almost had to contain himself from laughing. Well, so he already suspects me. Looks like he's gonna make things difficult for me.

Finally he turned to look at the man, face to face. Seth wore a confident half cocked grin, the other guy wore a face that seemed void of emotion. Almost like he was already planning a fight. I guess I'm not doing this the easy way. All I need is his name.

He left his seat and moved in on the stranger. His right hand was already in his pocket, gripping his deck of steel bladed cards firmly. "Thats one interesting sword ya got there, buddy. Can't imagine I've seen anything like it." he reached the man's table and took a seat on the opposite side of him. "I mean two blunt sides? It seems more useful for bashing then slashing."

He reached down and pulled his own sword out and layed it parallel to the man's sword, letting it make a thudding sound just as the man's sword did. He felt as though he was taunting the man but he had to fight him anyway, so it didnt much matter. All he needed was to confirm his name.

"Whats your name anyway?"

[Versus Terminus]

What is he after? Raynill wonders. If he wanted to just mug someone there are enough push overs in this place to choose from. No matter the reason Raynill felt the conversation was not going to last much longer. The man's sword was a simple steel short sword similar length to his own but showed no where as much battle wear. Maybe he's just a cocky son of a bitch looking for a fight, maybe he's got me confused with someone else... hell maybe he's just a fellow obssessed with swords. The thoughts slowly went through his head as battle scenarios took up much of his thinking.

Raynill's eyes follow his own hand as he calmly reaches for Last Sin, placing an open palm over it's blade. "Now what kind of person requests a name from another without first introducing themself?" His voice calm and monotone. Before giving the man a chance to reply Raynill answers his the question. "A man who already has an idea of who he is talking to." His hand slowly slides down his blade until he is loosely gripping Last Sin by it's hilt.

He has the advantage with me just sitting here in front of him, but I shouldn't make any sudden moves just yet. He thinks to himself, noticing at the same time the man's other hand gripping something unseen in his pocket. Not until I know for sure his motives are ill. Raynill pauses for a moment as another strike of lightning illuminates the gloomy sky.

"Name's Raynill," He says, leaving his expression stoic and his words direct. "But as I said before, I think you already knew that." Raynill's raises his eyes to meet the stranger's glare, his fingers slowly clenching themselves around his weapon's hilt.

Adrenaline already begins to pump it's way through his veins as he anxiously awaits the stranger's response, hoping it's just a misunderstanding on his part but at the same time knowing this guy came with a purpose.

[The-Ace-Of-Spades]

Seth was almost shocked at how easily he had given his name. He noticed that Raynill had already gripped the hilt of his sword. "Oh? Well I'm terribly sorry to bother you. My name is Seth Blight." He grabbed the hilt of his sword and stood to go back to his seat taking two steps away from the man before turning and taking a vertical swing at him, " Nice to meet you!"

Seth could tell his sword skills were below that of Raynill's, the first swing was easily blocked. Raynill was still seated when Seth struck but even with the advantage of being able to put his weight into his sword, Raynill was able to hold him back. "Not bad, I guess the client was right about your skills. I don't think I should have to tell you by now but I've been hired to kill you."

The tavern was in an uproar. Some ran into the storm while others went to the opposite side of the room. One drunk was still plastered to the bar. The two still had there swords locked before Seth jumped back and landed on the table he had been sitting at before.

He took his jacket off and threw it to the waitress as she returned with Raynill's water. It drapped over her head making her drop the glass of water. "Take care of that honey, its my favorite jacket." she looked annoyed but quickly realize what was happening and ran to the corner with the others.

Seth stuck the sword between his feet and into the table. He pulled his deck of cards from his pocket and pulled out the ace of spades and held it between his pointer and middle finger. He held the card in front of his face and grinned confidently. "Lets go."

[Versus Terminus]

Sent to kill me!? Everything around Raynill seemingly slows down as dozens of unanswered questions and thoughts roll though his mind all at once. Who would want me dead? I don't even know anybody. He has betean down some low lives in the past but none of them would go this much out of their way for payback. Raynill snaps from his daze just in time to see Seth hop backwards up onto a table.

"Let's go," The hitman says with a cocky grin, holding up what appears to be a playing card in between his fingers.

What in the hell is that for? Raynill quickly climbs out of his corner booth seat and snatches Last Sin off the table, standing firmly with it in his right hand. His confused thoughts trying to piece everything together so loud they drown out the sound of the drunks scattering about the bar and even the roaring weather to a mere whisper. Need to focus on the task at hand... Just as that single calm thought runs through his mind another one screams at him so loud it makes him turn his head.


LEGER!!!

His calming thoughts explode into sporadic and uncontrollable cries, his breathing heavy and his blood pumping like gasoline. Leger's the only one! He has to be the one that hired him, but why? If he wanted to kill me he could've done it when I was still his captive. Over a year of fruitless searching in Raynill's quest for revenge this hitman is the biggest step he has towards Leger, he can't afford for this to go any other way other then his own. Seth had more then a few questions to answer for him... Raynill takes a long drawn out breath to regain his composure and clenches his left hand as well, readying the blade hidden underneath his bracer to be used at any moment.

"You're mine Leger!" His shout more thunderous then anything that could come from the sky as he begins to charge seth, Last Sin raised over his head with one arm.

With Seth taking the high ground Raynill couldn't do much in the terms of damage but if he could just bash the table he was on he could knock him down and get the upper hand...

[The-Ace-Of-Spades]

Seth grabbed his sword and went to block the attack. The force of the blow broke the table underneath him and toppled him to the ground. It took away his advantage of having higher ground. Raynill went for another attack, a vertical swing. As Seth went to block, the swords clashed and he felt his sword being pushed back into his left shoulder. He let out a yell as blood began to drip down his arm. He rolled back and went to examine the wound.

It wasn't too deep, about three-quarters of an inch into the skin. "Not one for foreplay are you? Although, now I'm quite curious as to who this Leger is that you were screaming about earlier." he moved his fingers to make sure his arm was working properly.

He reached for his deck again but this time he pulled out a joker and launched it in front of Raynill's feet. It released a smokescreen that quickly filled the tavern. He dashed to the bar for coverage before jumping on top of the bar and pulling four cards from his deck. The smoked cleared just enough for Seth to make out Raynill's figure before sending the cards at Raynill's arms and legs.

[Versus Terminus]

Not knowing if the smoke was a toxin of some sort Raynill immediately raised his arm and buried his nose and mouth into it's crook as a cloud of smoke quickly filled the room. Leger would be smarter than to meet this hitman face to face. Raynill thought to himself, trying to make sense of the hitman's last comment. Probably had one of his lackies to do it for him. The once peaceful tavern was now at an uproar of yells, the clutter of dozens of drunks blindly running about hid any sound of Seth's movements. He scanned his limited range of view to see where the hitman had gone now as the smoke slowly thinned. Raynill lowers his arm from his face just in time to see Seth standing on the tavern bar, four more the hitman's little trick cards already flying towards him.

Unsure of what to expect from them Raynill quickly raises both arms and uses his forearm bracers to deflect two cards coming high. Unable to move in time for the other two cards they slash their way through his pants, one simply grazing him while the other landing directly into the front part of his thigh. With a groan Raynill drops to a knee, confusion and anger spread on his face. He looks behind him to see the card that grazed him stuck into the wooden floor at an angle, his blood running down the edge of the card.

"That's a new one." Raynill says as he snaps his head back to face Seth, yanking the card lodged in his thigh out with another moan of pain and tossing it to the floor.

If that's his weapon he is definetly not going to let me get close long enough for a sword fight, going to have to think of something quick before he tears me to shred one card at a time. Another lightning bolt strikes down lighting up the sky and just like that the idea hits him. Let the darkness of night and downpour of rain take away his sight and let the gusts of wind off set his throws and his little parlor trick goes to shit.

Still kneeling Raynill raises his left hand towards Seth and opens his palm as it begins to glow a brighter and brighter yellow until the ray of blinding light is released. The blinding effect usually only lasted for around five seconds but that was all Raynill needed to rise to his feet and fight through the pain of his wound to sprint towards the storm that would ironically, in Raynill's hope, save his life.

[The-Ace-Of-Spades]

The light blinded Seth and his hands flew to his eyes to filter out the light. His eye's finally adjusted just long enough to see Raynill running out into the storm. His eye's were still a bit blurred but he made his way outside to follow. The storm hadn't eased up at all, the rain still poured and the wind had only picked up more then before.

"What are you trying to accomplish? A short range fighter,like yourself, doesn't have much of a chance against a long ranged fighter. Not to mention your leg isn't in the best of shape." he pulled another card from his deck, "First, your going to tell me who this Leger is. Then, I'm going to kill you. Don't put up a fight and I'll make it quick."

The man didn't move but he didn't need him trying to run again. He threw the card he had held at the man's other leg to cripple him. The card didn't even make it half way before it fell and stuck into the ground. He stood for a moment dazed and confused. He planned this out. He knew the storm would throw off my cards.

He smiled and shook his head. Then he started to chuckle until finally it erupted into full laughter. "I've got to hand it to you, you sure are stubborn. I can't say that your making this easy for me. We are both at a disadvantage. I can't imagine fighting you with a sword with my left arm in this condition, and you can't escape me with your leg in that condition."

He didn't know what to do. The man saved his own life by running out into the storm. If he tryed to get close, the man would have the advantage. He wasn't getting anywhere by staying out of range though. He sighed and looked up into the stormy sky. Another bolt of lightning shot across the sky.

He looked at the man straight in the eyes and sighed again. He ran a complete blank. He didn't know how to approach. He didn't have the physical power to beat him. He wasn't even using his head when Raynill ran into the storm. It felt like he was playing a game of poker and he was dealt a bad hand.

[Versus Terminus]

The short distance Raynill sprinted to get ouside left him more exhausted then he had planned, taking deep breaths of pain as his leg grew tighter and tighter. The card's blade went in deeper then he had initially thought. It didn't matter now though, the hitman was forced to play by his rules now. He just had to tough it out for a couple more minutes.

"Don't worry I have no intentions of escaping you nor ending your life today, you can thank this Leger for that." Raynill says as his breathing returns to normal. "He took from everything from me and I intend to return the favor before my time has passed, revenge is the reason you cannot have your victory today bounty hunter." He raises his sword challengingly and once again gets into an offensive battle position. "You're gonna give me some answers and I sure as hell don't mind having to beat them out of you." They just looked at each for a moment through the heavy rain, both just waiting for the other to make a move.

"There the two are, this way men!" A voice shouts in the distance that instantly catches both Raynill's and Seth's attention. Four men in town guard uniforms run down the muddied path towards the tavern, all armed with a short sword in one hand and a small round shield in the other.

"Damn it all!" Raynill says angrily. "Not now, not when I'm so close."

Quickly trying to figure out what to do Raynill's eyes shifted back and forth between his choices. He could take out the guards and continue his fight against the hitman or could escape back into the woods and catch up Seth later, neither option Raynill was to fond of. The guards did nothing to him and were simply performing their duties, he did not want to kill them unless he had to. At the same time though he knew he could not outrun them in his current condition and even if he did there was a chance the hitman escaping from him as well, making Raynill lose his biggest lead on Leger thus far.

Raynill grunted in frustration as the choices and consequences bounced around in his head, focusing his eyes back on his opponent he awaited to see how the hitman would react to the situation.

[The-Ace-Of-Spades]

Revenge was something Seth knew too well. He still remembered the hatred that drove him to kill his father. Raynill's eyes reflected his own in the past. His curiousity forced him to want the whole story but before he could ask the sound of metal clanging and footsteps approached. He could see Raynill's look of confusion underneath the harsh look of determination. He didn't know what to do. One thing was for certain, if the guards got to them they were just going to make things more difficult.

He turned and retreated down the opposite street of the guards. He got a few yards away before looking back at Raynill. He was staggering on his wounded leg and the guards were drawing close to him.

"Tsk, damn it." he turned back around and ran toward the guards. He passed Raynill but before getting to the guards he threw down his last joker. The smoke filled the air and he turned again and caught up to Raynill. "You want answers? Meet me tomarrow morning. Go a mile down the main road until it forks off into three roads. I'll meet you there."

He ran a few more steps before slapping his forehead. "Son of a......, I forgot my freaking jacket." he turned once again and ran up the steps of the tavern. He poked his head in and saw the waitress still clinging to his jacket. "Yeah, thanks for holding on to this for me." she was still shook up from the fight. She fainted and collapsed to the floor with a thud. "Whoa, are you alright?" he held his head to her chest to listen for a heart beat when the guards entered the tavern behind him.

There was a pause as the guards men and Seth had met eyes. "U-uh, t-this isn't what it looks like." The captain of the guards shook with anger. Seth grinned nervously "T-this is all just a misunderstanding."

The captain finally yelled out in anger, "THATS MY WIFE!!! GET YOUR HANDS OFF HER!!! GUARDS, KILL HIM!!!"

Seth swiftly dodged the sword strikes, these men's movements were easy to read. The captain took a swing at him and Seth grabbed his sword from the hilt and ripped it from his grasp. "Sorry, I need this." he dashed from the tavern with the stolen sword and his jacket in hand. He had needed the steel off the sword to make more cards to replace the ones he had lost tonight.

The guards followed to pursue him but he quickly lost them and made his way out of town and to the neighboring outposts about a quarter mile from the gates. In the morning he would finally have answers to the few questions he had buzzing through his head.

[Versus Terminus]

The scent of the morning dew filled the air and the sun beamed brightly overhead. The storm crept away overnight, leaving the morning sky a clear and perfect blue. Raynill waited anxiously for Seth at the fork of the road as he described, sitting on a large rock just off the road with his clothes still slightly damp. He sat calmly hunched over with his forearms resting on his knees, Last Sin loosely held in his right hand. His mind racing with questions on the entire situation, what questions should he ask first, how much information will he exactly receive, why the hitman chose to aid in his escape.

The thought of the hitman telling him to meet up here just so he could ambush him and collect the bounty also lingered in the back of his mind, his grasp on Last Sin growing tighter as the thought passed him. He expected another bladed card to come flying at him at any moment. Even with the chances of that being likely it was a risk Raynill was more than willing to take. Over a year since being released from Leger's captivity and since then has made little strides in finding him, until now with this bounty hunter appearing from nowhere to end his life.

Raynill stared down the road again anxiously hoping to see the hitman coming towards him... nothing. With a sigh Raynill shook his head and looked down at the bandage covering the wound he received from Seth. He applied the bandage before resting the night and now it was a dried red color, his leg still stinging slightly. He slowly began to unravel the bandage until he could peak through it at the wound itself, shaking his head once again this time with a small smirk on his face.

"Hmph... bladed poker cards." He says silently to himself. "Fuck..."

Quickly rewrapping the bandage he heard footsteps coming from down the path. Raynill rose to his feet and squinted his eyes at the figure coming towards him. As the blurry figure slowly turned into the cocky hitman from last night Raynill's mind begin to race again at what's about to happen. Trying to look as calm as possible Raynill sheathed Last Sin upon seeing the hitman not wielding his blade or holding any of his cards.

[The-Ace-Of-Spades]

I wonder if he waited here all night? he thought to himself. He drew closer and grinned at Raynill, "So you did show up. I was having doubts about whether you would meet me again after what happen last night." He rubbed his shoulder which was bandaged up, "Of course, I was kinda reluctant about showing up as well. Please excuse me a moment."

He layed his jacket across one of the rocks on the side of the road and pulls the sword out that he had stolen from the guard captain. He then gathered some grass and sticks and after putting them in a pile he lite a match and started a small fire. The fire was having a hard time staying lite due to the wet sticks and grass but he manage to keep it going. He put the sword over the fire and held it there till it begin to melt. He let the liquid steel melt into a small rectangle container and when it was full he pulled it out and leaned it over to Raynill.

"You know what that is don't ya?" he grinned at Raynill. Before he let Raynill answer he did it for him, "I got to make new cards since I lost some last night. It's a real pain but I got to make sure I'm prepared in case I have fight someone as stubborn as you again." he paused for a minute before finishing, "but then again, you were there so you would know. Right now you probably have a lot of questions so I'll let you start before I ask mine. To tell the truth I've been having doubts about this hit every since I saw you in the tavern. No one with a hit on them just openly walks into a tavern. So I'll tell you what you want to know and you tell me what I want to know. Deal?"

[Versus Terminus]

Raynill folds his arms over his chest and tries to stand calmly as possible , watching as Seth continues to smelt the steel sword into small rectangles. All night thinking of this conversation to come and the first words that slip from his lips are far from the point, "You didn't save my life back in the town, all you did was allow me spare theirs."

"Of course, " Seth replies with a chuckle. He looks up from his fire at Raynill with a grin, "Now that that is off you chest can we continue? What is it that drives your lust for vengeance?"

Raynill slowly walks back to the rock he sat on before and leans against it, placing his weight on his good leg. "Why you want to know know my story vexes me hitman. The bounty you would receive from turning me in would be quite nice I'm assuming. Now here you are trading that bounty for an exchange of words with the one you were sent to eliminate, can't say I understand you hitman. As the situation stands at the moment though my understanding is not necessary, if this is all you want in exchange for answering my questions so be it." Raynill pauses for a moment and looks up into the sky.

"I'm gonna keep this real simple. I was in second in command to a mercenary group called the Umbra Acies, Leger was it's leader. The same Leger, whether you know it or not, who hired you to 'eliminate' me. We all looked up to him and would've followed him to through the depths of hell itself, he was like a second father to me and even more to some of the other members. Then one day he led an ambush on our group which killed everyone in the Umbra Acies except for me, instead they chose to hold me as their prisoner. For over two years I was their captive and their little torture toy. On day seven-hundred and forty-two I was approached by Leger once again in my cell and told me he plans to see me again soon and after that they knocked me out with some drug. I awoke I don't know how long later just a couple miles away from my hometown with nothing but the clothes I was wearing and a map I have yet been able to decipher. He stole from me the Umbra Acies, two years of my life, and my trust... I plan to repay him tenfold before I take my last breaths."

Raynill pauses and takes a deep breath, meeting his eyes with Seths. "Once again I do not know why this interests you but I also do not care that much. I have done my part of this exchange and now it is your turn, I want answers." Raynill hops to his feet and takes a step closer to Seth, unfolding his arms and balling his hands into fists. "I want to know everything on your hit details, who Leger sent to tell you to kill me, where they met you, when they hired you, how they knew where to find me, everything. If your employer's breath smelt like onions the day he hired you... I want to know."

Dead silence fell over the conversation, Raynill's heart pounding in anticipation of the moment he had waited so long for. Umbra, the blade hidden underneath his bracer, ready to strike in case the hitman decided to try anything.

"Everything..."

[The-Ace-Of-Spades]

Revenge, is it?

"Fine, I'll tell you everything." he set his tools down and stood before Raynill, "I accepted the job in Ettermire. My agency is on the ourskirts of the Black Steppe and I often travel through Ettermire on my way there, depending on which direction I'm coming from. I'm not one to accept jobs from your average joes unless they strike my interest, much like your case. The man that approached me went by the name of Reveric Kain. He claim to be a priest, though the way he looked I could tell he was much more then some kind of holy father."

Seth remembered the man in a white robe that had approached him in Ettermire. He was a rather tall man for a priest, not to mention his build was very muscular. At the time Seth didn't feel the need to ask questions but looking back he definitly should have.

"I was told that once the job was done, I was to bring your sword back with me to prove that you were dead. All the details of where to find you and your description were written down and given to me on one of the following days in an envelope. I can't be sure how they knew you were going to be here but they must be keeping a closer eye on you then you thought."

He went back through the details in his head to make sure he hadn't missed anything. He glanced back in Raynill's direction and saw as he soaked in the information.

"Tsk, so all this for revenge? Your an fool." he turned in the other direction and looked toward the road leading north, the direction of the coast. "Revenge is just a sad excuse for a person that can't find a true motive in life. Once its all said and done, all revenge leaves you is a void in your soul that can't be filled. Maybe you should think about that."

Take it from someone who knows

He turned back to Raynill. "I'm leaving for Ettermire, I have to let this Kain guy know that I can't finish the job. If you want to know more then I would try to get answers out of him. I'm not nessasarily saying we should team up but maybe we should travel to Alerar to find some answers together." after being serious he finally showed a grin, "Of course, this won't work unless we can trust each other."

[Versus Terminus]

If revenge is just an excuse for someone who can't find a true motive in life... I don't mind spending my remaining days in the darkness. The thought had visited Raynill before and Seth's words returned them once again. If I ever did manage to kill Leger... what then? Could I really just return to being the Raynill I was before? If I were to encounter Leger would I even be able to defeat him? Raynill lowered his head and ran his palms down his face. He shook his head and brought his mind back to the moment at hand.

"Ettermire..." Raynill whispers silently to himself, trying to remember the last time he had been on Alerar. Why did they hire someone from so far away from where I was? All Seth's answers did was bring more questions but at the same time Raynill already felt closer then ever to Leger.

"Should I even begin to go into the irony of a hitman preaching life lessons?" Raynill says staring off into the distance. "Trust is an ideal I gave up long ago, I should not have to delve into that any further. I have no quarrel with you, much to may own dismay I actually need you." Raynill slowly turns his head to meet eyes with Seth, returning his grin. "You, on the other hand, can strike me down at any time and reap the rewards of it. Trust is something you will not be receiving from me hitman. Traveling with you to Ettermire is simply a risk I'm ready to take in order to attain my goal but rest assured if you decide we cross swords again nothing will stop me from ending your life."

He pauses again as he removes Last Sin from it's sheather and holds it out in front of him, "If it's my sword this Kain wants, it's my sword he'll get." He stares down the road in the direction of the docks. "Before the storm and my encounter with you I was on my way to the docks, it's still a good bit aways but once we reach there a ship can take us to Alerar. I suggest we start leaving right away." Raynill walks over to the rock and once again leans against it. He points at the melting blade and the fire Seth created. "Hurry up with that so we can get going."

[The-Ace-Of-Spades]

"Trust me or not, I'll have you know that I'm a bit unorthodox for a hitman. Hmph, I don't know if you're stubborn or just plain ignorant. If I were you right now Raynill, I wouldn't be worrying about me. I'd be more worried on the thought that maybe I wasn't the only person Leger hired to kill you." Seth says with a smirk on his face. He turns back around and stomps out the small fire before hunching over and putting his tools away, throwing the half melted sword over his shoulder and into the grass. "If you choose not to trust me," He looks up from the ground at Raynill. "That just makes things more difficult for you."

"Hmph." Raynill turns away aggrivatedly and looks back down the road leading towards the docks.

Seth shakes his head with a small chuckle and looks down the path as well. "Anyways leaving now we should be able to reach the docks around noonish and once we get there who knows how long we'll have to wait for a boat to going to Alerar."

"Then lets get going!" Raynill responds immediately. He pushes himself off the rock and begins limping down the road, still holding his sword in his hand.

He sighed to himself before grinning to himself "I'll just go with stubborn for now." Seth says to himself as he rises to his feet. "This is going to be an interesting trip."

[Breaker]

First impressions are indeed lasting ones
Quest Judgement

This quest had some strong elements, and some weak ones. I'm making an effort to touch on all of them since you requested detailed commentary, but don't be afraid to contact me via IM or PM if you have any questions.

I think the best thing this story had going for it was that it was an enjoyable read. Unfortunately, that doesn't automatically equate to a good score. But I appreciate being able to enjoy judging threads, so kudos on that.

STORY

Continuity ~ 6/10. At first this seemed like it would be one of those quests that doesn't really have a storyline, but the plot evolved as the thread went on, and most things made sense in the end. I liked the way it seemed like they were both just sheltering from the storm, but it turned out something more deadly was going on. At the same time, I would have liked a little more background info on both characters early on. Also, a massive monologue at the end of a thread is definitely not the best way to explain things. The real reason this score isn't higher is that you guys answered some of my questions, but not all of them. I would've liked more background on Seth, why he became a hitman and all that. Raynill on the other hand didn't seem to have any particular reason for being where he was, which is weak storytelling. Anything that fuels your character's motivation or plot development can and should be worked into the storyline. Still, you guys are on the right track here.

Setting ~ 4/10. I'm somewhat conflicted here. The setting was present, but often described awkwardly. At times I could virtually feel you both putting a lot of effort into the setting, but it just didn't come out right. When you're picking adjectives and verbs to describe the setting, make sure they describe it properly, and try not to overdo it. I'm gonna pull an example from the first post, but if you guys catch me on AIM I can point out many more.


the wet clapping sound of his footsteps against the muddy and wet path. I'm not going to lie to you; this sentence threw me off completely. Feet don't clap against mud; they squelch through it. And saying "muddy and wet" is massive overkill. I already knew the path was wet from before, and saying it was muddy reinforced that. Adding that it was wet again alienated me from the flow of the writing.

Another thing that hurt your score in this section is that your portrayal of the setting wasn't always realistic. I'm talking in particular about when Seth melted the sword. Making a fire after a huge storm would be hard enough, but it takes hot, hot coals to melt folded steel my friend. That was actually a neat idea to spice up the monotyny of the conversation, but neat ideas work best when they are also believable. All the same, keep on plugging and you'll both improve rapidly in this category.

Pacing ~ 4/10. For the first half of the thread, I'm sorry to say that the story did not run very smoothly. In the second half, it got bogged down with all that dialogue. I think some of the issues came from the storyline, which while entertaining, was barely logical at times. Each turn of events just seemed too convenient, and I could clearly decipher plot points. I guess what I'm trying to say is that, if your characters deciding to travel together had surprised me but seemed perfectly logical, you would have gotten a great score here. However, I kind of saw the conclusion coming from the third or fourth post, and there could have been more IC reasoning behind it. You did a good job drawing parallels between your characters, but there's still a lot of room for improvement.

CHARACTER

Dialogue ~ 3/10. You both have some good instincts, but I'll tell you right up front; good dialogue isn't easy to write. That's probably why so many characters on Althanas (mine, for example) are so stoic. There are some little things you can do easily to improve a bit, and some big things that won't be so easy that will help you improve a lot. I'll start with the little ones.

Start a new paragraph every time a new person speaks. This will clear up some of the messier parts and add weight to your dialogue. Versus, you need to pick one form of internal dialogue and stick with it. IMO, italics is better, and it threw me off every time you used quotations ("...") for Raynill's thoughts. And both of you need to remember that sometimes less is more. Imagine yourself in your character's shoes, then imagine yourself saying what you wrote. For example, both characters talked too much during the fight scene.

Well, those are the easy fixes. For a little more advanced improvement, add thoughtful details. Body language that occurs during dialogue or in place of it is very important, as is the tone of the speaker's voice, and any inflection they might put on certain words. Also, and this one is hard to explain, try to make your dialogue less cliche. This is something that a lot of Althanas' better writers still struggle with, and you may not be able to shake it until you get a better handle on your characters. The best suggestion I can give you is, every time you right dialogue, take into account who your character is, what their background is, their opinion on the topic of discussion, etc etc.

The biggest problem I had with the dialogue in this thread was in the last few posts. Please, please try to avoid such massive monologues in the future. A lot of what your characters said could have been said in less words, but mainly, you need to break those monologues up. Use multiple paragraphs and insert details on their thoughts, their surroundings, and anything else that will make the dialogue easier to read.

Action ~ 7/10. You guys both had some great moments here. I loved the cockiness with the comparison of swords (heh, same length), the way Raynill covered his nose for fear of toxic gas, and how Seth (somewhat idiotically) went back for his jacket. It's these kind of original, character inspired actions that really bring the thread to life. However, you can both give me more here, and you both need to describe the action a little more clearly. A few times during the fight I felt a little confused as to exactly what was happening. Overall though, I liked the action, right down to the way you both played out your injuries. For improvement, I repeat that you can both do more, and some proofreading wouldn't hurt. Reading a few of Althanas' more epic threads might help as well.

Persona ~ 5/10. I liked the overall persona that I got from both of you. At times, both characters seemed original, interesting, and compelling. By the same token though, they both became repetitive and predictable at times. Also, some of the decisions they made just seemed illogical and/or out of character, and I think most of the time this was to keep the story on track. Try to mold the storyline around your characters, rather than the other way around, and if something seems unnatural, rewrite it. Still, it's very early in the career of both these characters, and I know this category is going to get better.

WRITING STYLE

Technique ~ 5/10. I saw some decent use of various kinds of metaphor from both of you, but some of these instances were awkward (see setting comments). Mostly I think you're both still kind of feeling the literary devices out, and I commend you both strongly for your effort. Keep at it, and the devices will start coming to mind faster and stronger. I did give you an extra point here for effort, though, because I think technique is something you learn/improve just by doing it, and by reading it. If you shoot me a PM or catch me on AIM I can point you in the direction of some really terrific metaphor work by resident Althanians, which would probably open your eyes a bit to just how powerful literary devices can be.

Mechanics ~ 2/10. Simply put, the mechanics in this thread were brutal. I noticed frequent spelling errors, typos, missed capitilization, homonyms, and every other kind of grammatical error I can think of. Both of you need to run your posts through a spellcheck, and proofread. Proofread out loud to yourself for maximum effect, or even proofread for each other if you're working together in the future. Mechanics is the one category that I really feel you guys didn't put any effort into, and if that doesn't change, neither will your scores in this area.

Clarity ~ 4/10. See comments about clarity in Action. Also, Versus... you need to make a choice; past tense or present tense? It's not just confusing when you jump between them, it's also rather irritating. I suggest past tense because it's much more popular and IMO makes a better read. Furthermore, the dialogue-heavy posts at the end kind of ate up the otherwise decent brevity. These things are very easy to fix, so I expect you both to do much better in this category next time.

MISCELLANEOUS

Wild Card ~ 7/10. As I said before, I enjoyed reading this, which is a less common occurence than one might think. Also, the "That's my wife" bit was hilarious. I also feel that both of you are working hard, so you deserve a decent wildcard score. Congratulations ;)

TOTAL ~ 47/100. This really isn't such a bad score, especially considering these are relatively new characters and your poor mechanics score.

EXP and GP Rewards

Versus Terminus receives 420 EXP and 150 GP
The-Ace-of-Spades receives 420 EXP and 150 GP

Other Rewards

Raynill receives a grey woolen cloak with a deep hood, given by a passerby who noticed all his clothes were wet.

Seth receives a miniature whetstone, perfect for sharpening his cards. It turns up mysteriously in an inner pocket of his jacket. Maybe that waitress liked him...

[Zook Murnig]

EXP/GP ADDED!

Apologies for the wait.