The Thing About Parties and Demon Gates

[Meow]

Feru smiled widely as she gazed upon the many people at the festival. The cat girl had never seen so many people or heard so much laughter. There was no doubt that she would have fun here. There was also a power there, something that would come in handy for enchanting; it was going to be a perfect day.

“Hello young Miss!” Called a noble that was dressed in fine clothes of bright blue and gold. “Welcome to Summer Shadow’s Fair, to celebrate the routing of the evil Duke Talus.”

“Thank you, meow.” Feru mocked the bow, causing the noble to look at her funny.

“Uh madam, you seemed to have forgotten proper etiquette.”

Feru blushed as her smile disappeared, she couldn’t believe she forgot something. Let’s see: I have my dress, I bathed, I brought money, what could I forget, Shoes? Feru bent over to look at her feet while letting her tail flick in the air with embarrassment.

“It’s nothing miss.” The Noble waved the girl off and went to mingle with other nobles that weren’t awkward cat girls.

“these people are a tad funny.” The magus sighed as she went to look for the right place and hoping that the traders would have some items useful for enchantment. “Hey that looks really yummy!” Feru felt the scent of food tingle her nose as she passed a stall with a cook making little kabobs. “how much is those, meow?” Feru sniffed the aroma that the cooked meat made.

“2 gold” the man smiled as he did to customers.

“Ok” Feru matched the smile and paid the gold, this time munching on the kabob as she searched the place.

“Nothing yet.” Feru thought as she was getting down at not being able to practice her skills as a Magus. But there was still the festival and she was going to have fun with that.

[Vampiric Angel]

"I feel a bit out of place, Larissa." Anenfel stood awkwardly at the edge of the festival. He was wearing nothing more than a plain cloth tunic and pants, although he still wore his father's boots. The half-elf had placed his other equipment in a secure and hidden spot. He looked at the other's attending, some of them being well-dressed nobles. "I don't know if we should do this. What if the noble's kick us out?"

"Oh, nonsense. They're probably too enthralled in comparing how much money they have than to worry about us," Larissa said comfortingly from her perch on Anenfel's shoulder. "Besides, you couldn't stop talking about that wedding celebration on Scara Brae. Do you honestly think I'm going to sit through more of your complaining about how I let you miss this one?"

"Yeah," Anenfel replied, "you're right. We're here to have fun, not worry about stupid nobles." Anenfel walked out into the open of the fair, his head turning every which way. He had never been to a festival, and in honesty wasn't quite sure how to behave or act. The young half-elf looked to the good folk that were having fun. He tried to learn from their actions, to watch their movements.

Without realizing it, Anenfel began walking around the festival gazing at the different faces and smelling the different aromas. That's when he heard a slight growl come from his stomach. Hungry already?, he thought to himself. Though the last time they ate was before leaving Scara Brae almost two days prior.

"Where can a half-elf get some food around here?" Anenfel said to himself. He began following his nose, tracking the different foods by the heavy scent in the air. There were a few different foods that he could make out, but just barely.

The half-elf closed his eyes, thinking it would help him differentiate the smells. He began to walk faster, hunger driving him to the alluring foods. But before he could reach his destination, he bumped into someone.

"Oh, excuse me," he said quickly as his eyes shot open. He was standing in front of a most peculiar looking woman. She stood there, head tilted to one side eating a kabob while her tail weaved about behind her. She wore a fine dress, her lithe form suiting the soft cloth well. Anenfel was at a loss for words as she stared at him with the most curious green eyes. And all the half-elf could do was stare back.

[Elrundir]

Elrundir had been enjoying his time back in the human world. The taint that infected him when he attempted to purify a tree in Raiaera's red forest had finally succeeded in taking him over. The original Elrundir was nothing but a backseat driver, a helpless victim forced to watch his body do things completely outside his control. The first such action was releasing itself from the realm of shadows - the taint had grown weary of that drab place. Dark and desolate though it was, it was sadly... lacking in population. No people means no corruption... and corruption is the mother's milk on which the taint thrived.

Still, Elrundir had used that very same shadow realm to travel quickly around the realms of Althanas. Traveling through that world was entirely different from this one - a mile could be covered in an inch, or an inch in a mile. Those without training could easily be lost in the shadow realm forever. But for those who harnessed its power, as Elrundir had, it was a useful means of transportation.

And so, the elf found himself in Corone, drawn towards a beacon of great and ancient power lying dormant beneath the earth. He followed it through the shadows, gravitating towards it like iron to a magnet, before resurfacing in the physical plane. What he saw, however, did not amuse him.

It was a fair. Of all the cheerful, rotten things that could be covering up this gateway of darkness, it had to be a fair. Nobles far more arrogant than Elrundir wandered around in ridiculous clothing, flaunting their wealth to others who, although also ridiculously wealthy, felt shamed that they were not as wealthy. And the fools probably don't even realize what they're standing on, the elf thought to himself. Well, perhaps he could be somewhat fair to them: even he did not know the true nature of the power. But unlike these fat nobles and traders, he intended to find out, and unlock it.

What then? Harness it, control it, destroy it... did it matter? Elrundir would take whatever path he felt necessary to further his own power. Whether it be unleashing the demons on the world or destroying them just to flex his muscles, he didn't care. This will all come to darkness anyway. His cold eyes glanced at the scene. It was so pretty now, but soon... somehow, someway, even if he had to be the catalyst, it would all be in ruin.

For now, though, Elrundir just stood on the edge of the clearing, feeling his way around. He wasn't interested in the inane goings-on of the nobles and their guests. The deepwell of power beneath them was the center of his attention. Elrundir extended his free left hand, for his right was holding his sapphire-tipped mythril staff, and a blood-red cardinal fluttered down from the treetops.

"Rouge, my pet," he whispered, bringing her closer to his face and giving her a soft kiss on her folded wing. "Take to the skies. Be my second eyes and ears." Rouge chirped her acknowledgement, and as the elf extended his arm again, she fluttered off to circle around the clearing. Elrundir remained behind, watching with cold, hard eyes. "Enjoy your fun while you can... but the darkness must always have its chance to play."

[The Bard]

When every guest had been welcomed and was finally inside the party grounds, there were songs, dances, music, games, and of course food and drink. There were birds singing with their sweet voices, Trees with trunks of dark mahogany that shining branches and yellow leaves that dropped down on the faces of the astonished party goers, disappearing with a sweet sent before they touched the crowds upturned faces.
Amoroth had taken a couple gulps of ale before fixing the strings on his lute. Sweat rolled down his face and he breathed heavily, this was the first time he had played in front of a huge crowd but this was what he was to suspect if he wanted to be famous. He tied the laces on his boots and stepped on to the wooden stage, a dazzle of lights and colorful clothing had made him wince. He walked the array of wooden planks an stepped to a stool that had been laid out for, looking at the crowd and noticed a group of three fat women smiling and winking at him. Amoroth cringed and gave a grim smile but managed to push that from his memory. The crowd roared and cheered as he sat down, remembering the song he was going to play and the tune he began to play. Bystanders started to give a pacing clap that matched the song and Amoroth began to sing.

A Warrior clad in kilt left the bar one evening fair
And one could tell by how he walked he'd drunk more than his share
He staggered on until he could no longer keep his feet
Then stumbled off into the grass to sleep beside the street.

Later on two young and lovely girls just happened by,
And one says to the other with a twinkle in her eye
You see yon sleeping Warrior who is young and handsome built
I wonder if it's true what they don't wear beneath their kilt.

They crept up to the sleeping Warrior quiet as could be
Then lifted up his kilt about an inch so they could see
And there behold for them to view beneath his Warrior skirt
Was nothing but what God had graced him with upon his birth

They marveled for a moment then one said we'd best be gone
But let's leave a present for our friend before we move along
They took a blue silk ribbon and they tied it in a bow
Around the bonnie spar that the Warriors lifted kilt did show

The Warrior woke to nature's call and stumbled toward a tree
Behind a bush he lifts his kilt and gawks at what he sees
Then in a startled voice he says to what's before his eyes
He said, "Lad I don't know where you've been but I see you won first
prize"!

The Crowd hooted and cheered as Amoroth stood and bowed giving hand shakes and eager waves as he tried to move through the crowd to finish his ale.

[Cyrus the virus]

The sun shone brightly down upon the Countryside, bathing the carnival's attendees with a glorious light that not only warmed them, but seemed to lift the mood of anyone less than excited to be there. A rare wind passed through the area every so often, cooling the collected people for a brief moment before once again giving them up to the heat of the sunshine.

For all it's power, the glowing orb could not hope to melt the sculptures of the mage Luc Kraus. In his hand was the figure of a clown, expertly detailed and absolutely beautiful, but the product of only a few seconds of work. It was crafted from an image in his mind, and as the little girl in front of him clasped the sculpture, he saw in her eyes that it was exactly what she asked for. She looked to her mother with bright eyes and an open mouth in shock, and after a prompting from the parent she whispered a small thanks.

"It will only last a day or two, I'm afraid," Luc said from behind the tank of water he'd been provided with to craft the sculptures. "But if you bring it to a bronze worker, he can make a permanent statue for you. He can use that very sculpture as the model and it will not melt."

The woman thanked him and dropped a gold piece on the table where the water basin sat. Luc scooped it up. He had no need for gold, but there was no point in leaving it.

Around him were other stalls, wood widdlers and balloon makers alike, and a dozen or so other services, but none were as busy as his stall. Even without a colorful canopy like those that the other trades sported, Luc's area commanded attention from passerby. Maybe it was the novelty of seeing magic at work, wielded so effortlessly by the young man with clean brown hair and bright green eyes, or maybe it was that he could craft a figurine exactly like what was asked. At any rate, Luc had been busy all morning and into the early afternoon, but was still enjoying the work.

He sensed magic all about the fair, from visitors and workers alike, but something else was present that he couldn't quite seperate from the rest. It was a lingering, unusual feeling that seemed to pull on a part of his mind to command his attention. His curiousity had the best of him, and the mage so desired to learn what this strange sensation was coming from.

For now though, the carnival was bustling with activity. Children and adults alike were crowding around him to witness the crafting of his figurines. A boy asked him for a badge, and after a brief description of the specifics, the item rose from the basin before Luc and rose into his hand. A gasp of impressed glee came upon the crowd, followed by rousing applause as Luc handed the icy badge to the boy, who proceeded to point it toward his father.

Two pieces of gold later, Luc was back to work and enjoying it.

[Meow]

“Nya” Feru yelped as she felt the collision with another person. The surprise was a bit of a shock to the cat girl. The boy who did it had elfin features to him. Feru knew elves because she would commonly deal with them when Khan sent her on errands to buy supplies for the tower until he was turned to a cat.

There was something on the elf’s shoulders, a little winged creature that had some girlish features. The sight made Feru’s ears perk up and she twitched her tail while she thought f the little creature. She sure would be fun to chase. Also she might be magic and useful for enchanting. The cat girl’s body tensed to ready to pounce but Feru stayed a moment. She must be some kind of pet, It wouldn’t be nice to do that. The magus’ body relaxed as she let. “Um sorry, didn’t mean to run in to you.” Feru took a bit out of her food finding it calmed the mischievous side in her. “I’m Feru.” She announced wondering if it was polite. She liked the man despite the fact the meeting was bumping into him. “Nice to meet you meow.” The ca girl finished hoping she had done right what Khan had taught her in the ways of humans and elves.

Her ears twitched to the sound of music playing happily. The song was quite silly from the tone though Feru didn’t quite get the joke, rhetoric was not one of her strong points since most of her learning was concerning magic and not language. Still it had a nice tune and flow for what the cat girl could tell and the laughing and cheering of the crowd showed that they got the joke. The cat magus’ looked to the man she just met and smiled before moving in that direction. It seemed like a good place as any to go.

The something else caught her eye, another young man was practicing true magic. Feru knew what she saw was actual sorcery, se seen some tricks here but this was actual magic. The mage entertaining, Khan would look down on it, the old cat was far too serious but Feru didn’t see the problem with it. She interrupted her movement to watch the mage, he and the bard both seemed busy but she might learn something by watching the magic.

[Vampiric Angel]

Anenfel stood silent while the cat girl looked at him. He didn't know what to say. Was she mad, or was she understanding? Larissa tensed up on the half-elf's shoulder, the girl's stare beginning to wear on her nerves. She leaned in close to Anenfel's ear and whispered.

"I think she might be insane."

Anenfel smirked a bit, but tried not to show it. After a long silence, she finally spoke up. She apologized for the accident and anounced herself. Feru is an odd name, the half-elf thought. Then again, she was part cat.

"Nice to meet you meow." She said.

"I'm Anenfel," he said with slight embarassment in his tone. "It's nice to meet - ", the half-elf didn't get to finish his statement as she slowly walked off, her attention elsewhere. She was listening to the bard on stage, his rather comedic song stirring the crowd with laughter. After hearing a few of the lyrics, Anenfel did the same. He also noticed that the bard was an elf, and he wondered where he was from.

"That was odd," Larissa said, her comment directed towards the cat girl. "I think she might be drunk."

"Who? The bard?, he's male." The half-elf replied.

"No not the bard," Larissa said as she softly slapped Anenfel's ear, "the cat girl."

"Oh." Anenfel glanced from the stage back to Feru, who's attention was once again stolen by another form of interest. "She doesn't seem that odd. Apart from being part cat and a little distracted from time to time, she's seems to be fine."

"I don't know," Larissa commented. "I have a bad feeling about this place."

"It's probably nothing," Anenfel replied.

I'm not so sure, the fairy thought. She looked around the fairgrounds, her suspicious eyes glancing from one face to another trying to find anything out of the ordinary. She couldn't quite put her finger on it, but somehow she knew things were going to get scary.

[Elrundir]

By now, Elrundir had taken it upon himself to enter the fray, since that was the only way he could possibly find the source of power lying beneath this fairground. Ostensibly, of course, he had entered to enjoy the festivities - food, song, and dance were aplenty here at the Summer Shadow's Fair. Someone lurking on the outer edges of the party would no doubt be looked upon with suspicion.

As would someone as decidedly dark and disagreeable as Elrundir - at least, when the taint was in control. Even his normal self was not exactly the friendliest elf of the bunch, but it was a vast improvement on the form he currently held. Deciding that blending in was in his best interest, Elrundir's taint relented just slightly. Time to come out, it ordered inwardly, stirring his purer self to consciousness. Be on your best behaviour. I'll be watching.

And with that, Elrundir became slightly closer to his original self. The arrogant smirk on his face lightened up, although it did not disappear, making him fit in nicely with the rest of the fat nobles present. Yet, even so, Elrundir realized that he was not fully in control. The taint held his reins very tightly, so it was still guiding his motions, only this time doing it from the back of his mind. It would be less suspicious, that way. Besides, it would give the taint some time to regenerate - fighting off Elrundir's powerful true self was more difficult than it liked to admit.

The elf strolled around the fair, feeling much like a horse tugging along its master in a carriage, for occasionally the taint would exert a pull on him in one direction, forcing him to turn and examine something. He might as well still have been locked away in the back of his own mind for all the good this did him. Still, Elrundir knew he was in a better position, and he could possibly take advantage of that if given the chance - and if he played his cards right.

The taint guided him around the fair, while the melody of Amoroth's song filtered through his ears. While Elrundir, who was not usually entertained by such things, found the song mildly amusing, the taint was not at all pleased. He could hear it chuckling sarcastically in the back of his mind, followed by an in-depth verbal attack on the stupidity of humans and elves alike. Elrundir could do little to display his displeasure at that, since he was not in control of his own body. Even so, as a proud member of the elven race, his hatred for this taint grew even greater as a result.

The elf noted that among the most popular attractions seemed to be a young man crafting intricate models with his magic. Well, at least someone in this fair has some actual talent, Elrundir thought to himself, not entirely sure whether it was him or the taint that was thinking that. He respected magic above almost all else. Song magic above that. Perhaps with these kinds of talents gathered in one place, the great power lurking beneath the ground would make itself known, like a door opening in response to a key. Elrundir smiled at that thought; perhaps this would be even easier than he had predicted.

[The Bard]

Exhausted and winded from singing Amoroth had finally washed his burning throat with some ale. As he lifted the glass up the ice that was in it hit his nose but that didn’t bother him it just cooled him down. Amoroth wish there was at least a nice breeze out today but Amoroth figured he should stop making complaints and have fun.


One game that interested Amoroth was a target range, 3 targets had been set up and had two rings, inside the first ring was the bull’s eye which was 9 points, outside of that was the 6 points range and outside of that was the 3 point range, and you could only get three shots. The only problem with this was that Amoroth had very little skill and using a bow but gave it a shot anyway.


“Aye lad, want to play” The game runner said. Amoroth shook his head yes and the man shoved an oak bow with three arrows into Amoroths hands. Sticking the other two arrows in the dirt Amoroth brought the one arrow into the strings of the bow. Grasping the feathers and taking precise aim Amoroth let go of the strings and watch the arrow soar into the wooden plank behind the target. Amoroth did the same for the last two arrows missing with each one, it figured why he used magic. Speaking of magic Amoroth saw someone familiar that surprised him. Walking up to get a closer look, it was no other than the same Luc that helped him fight bandits and who saved his life. Luc was crafting figurines for children and adults alike. Amoroth was ready to call out his name but a hand grabbed his shoulder. It was one of the fat ladies from earlier and one could tell that she had trunk for than her share.

“Do another song for me” she said, Amoroth really wished he had known a song that put people to sleep but all hoped seemed lost.

“Look miss I really can’t right now my throat hurts and my fingers are bruised, maybe later okay.” Amoroth mumbled while trying to slip away. Then a crowd had people had come between them with that Amoroth slipped away back to where Luc was except this time hiding within the people that where watching him.

Wanting to sound like a customer Amoroth asked Luc. “Can I get a figure of a lute?”

[Cyrus the virus]

A bird, a dog, even a fish. It seemed the children of Corone had something in common in their mutual love for animals. Each figure was crafted expertly by the mage, and however many times an anxious child dropped their slippery item, they never shattered or even chipped. After all, each design was probably stronger than a beam in on of the homes of it's owner.

Magic was all about the carnival, and though Luc had been sensing it all day, a particularly interesting one had shown itself. It was almost as unique as the strange prodding he'd felt earlier, and when Luc focused on the magical aura he recognized it not to be a magical item or spell, but a man. The mage did his best to keep focused on his work, but occasionally he noticed that the feeling was stronger than the last time he sensed it.

From the busy mage's left, someone with a fluid voice asked for a lute. Thinking it another child, perhaps an older one, Luc crafted the instrument with a thought and held it out, only then noticing that the person to recieve the item was a man he knew. "Amoroth!" Luc exclaimed.

"Folks, I'm on break," Luc announced then, much to the disappointment of the joyful children awaiting their turn to ask for an ice sculpture. "I'll be back in a few minutes, and I promise it'll be worth the wait. Come back then and I'll give you all a show."

With that, the mage stepped around his small table and water basin, the only decoration he'd needed to draw a crowd, and handed the cold little weapon to Amoroth. "I doubt it will play. I can weave magic as surely as I can step around that little table, but I'm no music man. How have you been, friend?"

The two had been through an interesting struggle in the past. Amoroth had admirably stepped up to try and end the ransacking of a wagon, tumbling awkwardly down a slope to challenge the bandits below. Had Luc not been in the area to help him wage the battle, the struggle would surely have been much greater.

They then saved the nearby city from a bandit brigade, effectively driving off the dispicable thieves once and for all. This was the first time they had met since that day, and Luc couldn't have picked a better atmosphere for some catching up. "Let's check the fair out together, I've been stuck at this table all day," he suggested, making his way down the busy walkway.

[Meow]

Feru felt a little disappointment to see the unknown mage going on break just about when she was building the courage to speak to him also it was with the bard and took another point of interest away. With the stimulation gone the girl began to remember. She had been a little rude to the nice Anenfel. Khan would have bopped her over the head for getting that badly distracted.

Luckily the half elf and his fairy were too far away and Feru was quick to catch him. “I’m so sorry, it was awfully rude of me, meow.” Feru smiled. “Just my first time at one of these. Not often that Kahn lets me leave the forest when not on errands.” Feru hoped for forgiveness from the half elf and his little companion.

The cat girl looked to the duo and decided that she’d be better off with them. “Would you um mind if I join you.” She flicked her tail happily with a smile to try and convince him that she would be a fun person to share the fair with.

“Meow, is there anything you want to do?” Feru asked as she felt like giving Anenfel the first bat at the fair as for making up for the wandering off when they just met. He might have some fun ideas to use and speaking to the mage was probably a bad time since he was engaged with a friend.

Looking through the crowds the cat girl magus saw someone stand out, a full elf most obviously, he had a look of something on his mind, he wasn’t having fun like everyone else. She wondered if maybe she should invite him to join them. Might cheer up the guy. It just wasn’t right to not have fun at this kind of place.

“Hey look over there.” Feru pointed towards the serious elf. “You think it would be a good idea to invite him.” Feru asked quietly, not wanting the older full elf to overhear until a decision’s been made. “I think he might use a little cheering up.” Feru stated with her tail swishing to and thro.

[Vampiric Angel]

Anenfel slowly began to walk off, wondering if he had done anything wrong with his interaction with Feru. But just as quickly as that thought came to his head, he heard a familiar voice. It was the cat girl apologizing for being rude only a few moments before.

The half-elf would have responded if it were not for Feru's quick questioning. Anenfel tried to find a spot where he could slip back into the conversation, but it seemed the cat girl's energy could not be broken. So he simply waited for her to finish with her questions, and finished she did.

"Hey look over there." The cat girl pointed to another elf off in a crowd. "You think it would be a good idea to invite him. I think he might use a little cheering up.

Anenfel considered the question while he gave the elf a measured look. It seemed like a good idea; no harm in adding another to the festivities. Although, the elf did have a certain air about him. Anenfel couldn't quite put his finger on it.

"Why not?" The half-elf answered. "The more the merrier...at least that's what Larissa tells me."

Anenfel began walking over to the sulking elf with a broad grin.

"Hello there," Anenfel exclaimed as he held out his hand. "My lady...cat friend and I were wondering if you would like to join us in enjoying the festivities. Maybe make two new friends."

"Three friends," Larissa corrected.

They waited patiently for the elf's answer.

[Elrundir]

Elrundir’s interest in the fair had nothing to do with the festivities. The special guests and free food and entertainment held no sway over him – that was something that both his true self and the taint could agree on. Both of them had far better things to do than lounge about here watching corpulent nobles fritter away their money as though they had enough to burn. Elrundir, of course, would rather have been somewhere else entirely. Perhaps back in Raiaera, at the Istien University. The taint was still in the driver’s seat, however, and it had other plans. The portal beneath this sanctuary would serve to strengthen its darkness, whereas returning to Raiaera would only give this body’s true self a stronger hold. No – the taint would avoid Istien, particularly the school of Turlin, at all costs.

Leads were scarce, however. Nobody at the fair knew anything more than the pitiful legends about the great power that used to dwell here. Legends become twisted as time passes, and while there is always some nugget of truth buried within them, Elrundir was in no mood to for this one. He desired something concrete. Unfortunately, the other patrons of the fair had no intention of letting him go about his merry way. Just as Elrundir was strolling down a crowded pathway, he was approached by a half-elf and some sort of feline-human, both of whom addressed him.

The elf turned quickly when spoken to, and he glanced at Anenfel and Feru with eyes flared open. A blot of darkness slithered away from his pupils immediately as he glanced at them; it was certainly there, but to them, it could have just seemed like a trick of the light. Once again his eyes were an icy blue, and within their gaze was every drop of arrogance that the rest of these nobles possessed. Play along, the taint hissed in the back of his mind. The female is a magus. Elrundir could sense it too – the magic lying within her, some dormant and some realized. She was as good a companion as any for fulfilling the taint’s desires.

Quickly, Elrundir inclined his head politely to the both of them. He crossed his left hand over his abdomen and gave them a slow, short bow, and his silky silver hair cascaded over his shoulders as he did so; his right hand, of course, was still holding a tall mythril staff with a sapphire at its head. “Greetings,” he began. Elrundir’s voice was smooth and enchanting. He possessed a silver tongue that emperors and diplomats would envy; it was the kind of voice that could only belong to a bard-mage of Raiaera. “My name is Elrundir Lomadrielith Galadhrim, and I shall accompany you.” He had introduced himself with full name, as was tradition at least among the ancient elves. He had also subtly altered the situation. Now he would accompany them; it was not a matter of accepting an invitation anymore, but rather of asserting his desire.

The elf gestured to them, wordlessly asking if they would care to walk with him, and as he began to step away, he turned once to each of them and spoke. “The Summer Shadow’s Fair… I have heard there is quite a story behind it. I don’t suppose either of you would be able to enlighten me?”

[Witchblade]

Before I even get to judging this I just want to say a few things. There are no rules or regulations or anything stating you can’t submit a thread that died, especially if there’s a spoil in the thread you really want or need. That being said, I see little point for this thread being submitted, there are no spoils and you weren’t even passed the introduction stages for your characters, not to be mean but it was pretty much a waste of time for me to judge this since no ones going to be getting much from it.

Introduction: - 6 All of your characters were introduced nicely and seeing as how the setting of this story was a fair ground there were little explanations needed for why characters were there, after all, who doesn’t love going to a fair every once and a while?

Setting: - 6 The setting was an interesting one not used very often, a fair. It’s a nice little happy place instead of a run down tavern with cloaked figures and darkened corners. But, ‘Summer Shadow’s Fair’? I mean, come on, talk about going to the village of Hidden Tragedy here. The name could use some work to make it little less clichéd.

Strategy: - 2 I don’t really see any strategy here, the quest didn’t make it far enough for there to be any. So far it was just random people bumping into each other.

Character: - 2 The quest didn’t last long enough for the characters to really start coming out. Yes, there were all described well in their introductions but the quest never got passed introductions. There was very little interacting between characters and as such very little room for the characters to have done much of anything.

Dialogue: - 3 Once again, very little involvement with characters and very little chance for the characters to talk. Vampiric Angel, the little familiar you have is quite funny though, I like its concept.

Rising Action: - 0 There was no rising action.

Climax: - 0 No climax.

Conclusion: - 0 No conclusion.

Writing Style: - 5 I would love to write a huge thing here to give some pointers on how to improve but I don’t think I was given enough material to work with. I’m pretty sure the max post for this was like 3 posts and that’s not really enough. Bard, Vampiric Angel and Meow, all of you have to watch out for the overuse of your character’s name. It’s repetitive and the reader catches on to words that are used more than three times in a short span of writing rather quickly and will become annoyed with it. Try to change it up, you don’t have to use he/she all the time, you can used things like ‘the half-elf watch over to the cat girl and said hello.’ something like that.

Wild Card: - 0 There’s nothing to put here.

Score: 24

Rewards:

Vampiric Angel receives 10 experience!
Cyrus the Virus receives 10 experience!
The Bard receives 10 experience!
Elrundir receives 10 experience!
Meow receives 10 experience!