Things Are Never Easy... [Scara Brae]

[Celestial]

"Why am I always the one who has to go and get things?"

This was the thought that ran through Celestial-Peace's mind as she hurried through the crowded streets, heading towards the marketplace. She knew the answer to this question though, as it was the same every single time that she was sent to go and get supplies for her Father's business: she was the only one who worked there who wasn't busy all the time. It was always the same and it always would be. Her Father had also said that she needed to be quick as they were low on bandages, but things were never as easy as people hoped. The crowded streets made it impossible to go any quicker than a gentle strolling pace, and being jostled from side to side didn't help the situation, either.

And then there were the street merchants, who got through to you and dragged you into a side alley to browse through their wares around every corner. Oh, how hard it was to keep away from them, especially when they started begging for money. Celestial-Peace's caring nature always seemed to conflict with the urgency of getting the supplies for her Father, causing her frustration to rise even higher than usual. She never showed it, though; she always remained quiet and calm in the worst of situations, preferring to talk her way out of problems rather than fight her way out. Deciding that it would be best to avoid things like this today, she stuck to the middle of the crowd, where it would be harder for anyone to reach her or bother her...unless she crashed into someone of course!

[The_Obsolete_Master]

Karl and Kiro were just strolling around, minding their own business. They walked around in town, looking for food and water. The most necessary items for a hungry traveller like Karl. Kiro would manage anyway however. For a white tiger is an extremely good hunter. Yes, they were an odd couple Kiro and Karl. A man wearing a simple tunic, leather armour and a big white tiger. Who would have thought that this would be possible. Karl was an ordinary man by appearance. He had medium long hair which just fell beneath his shoulders.

They walked passed the stalls, but found nothing interesting. Karl was amazed that nobody was frightened or at least startled by Kiro. But yet, he already had seen so many extraordinary people here… He walked on, nodded to some of the merchants who were shouting to get his attention. They were praising the finest goods of the world, or so they said. But Kiro sniffed and telepathicly said: “That meat is weeks old, I can catch you a fresh one anyday” Karl giggled, and together they walked on.

Karl was so caught up that he did not hear Kiro his shout in time: “Watch out!” Karl looked a head of him and BANG! He slammed into a young looking girl. Karl immediately raised his hands and stuttered an apology. “S..s..sorry there. Are you allright?”

[Celestial]

Celestial-Peace was knocked down to the dusty gray cobblestones of the street floor from the force of the collision, as she was exerting so much force to get through the forceful crowd that her momentum sent her flying backwards. Shielding her emerald eyes from the glare of the sun, she gazed upwards and spotted a young man staring back down at her. He was obviously the person who had crashed into her, but by accident because he was looking back down at her to see if she was alright.

Her shy and timid nature immediately shining through, she looked away and started to brush the dust off her skirt and shirt.
"Yes, I..I..I'm fine, th...th...thanks." She managed to stumble out of her mouth as quickly as she could, trying to get back up off the floor before she was trampled on by other passers-by. She had never liked talking to strangers, so Celestial-peace never made eye contact with this man for the whole time.

[The_Obsolete_Master]

Karl smiled politely and ignored the fact that the girl in front of him was embarrassed. He reached out to help her up and said: “Good to hear that. Once more my most humble apologies my dear lady. My name is Karl. You do seem in a hurry, but perhaps I could help you?”

Suddenly the voice of Kiro echoed through his head. “ Always quick to aid a damsel in distress are you? Haha. She does seem a bit scared though. Shall I scare her even more?”
Karl replied telepathicly as well: “You shall do no such thing! She will relax in time. Let her be. And do not worry, she will get to meet you soon enough.”

[Celestial]

Celestial-Peace could tell that Karl did not mean any harm to her: if he did then why would he be offering to help her up, as well as ask her what her problem was. Accepting his hand to help her up, she kept her eyes on the floor as she normally did whilst talking to strangers.

"Thank you very much." She began, her voice no longer trembling as much. "My name is Celestial-Peace, but people find it easier just to call me Celeste." Glancing around the busy street nervously, she realised that it had just got a lot busier.
"Maybe I should see if this Karl person can help..." She thought carefully about this, before deciding to see how he would react to what she said. Looking up at him, she took a deep breath and began to explain.

"My father owns a pharmacy that he also uses to treat people in the back rooms. I am his apprentice, but because I do not have to stay in the infirmary, he sends me to get new supplies. The thing is, I can't find any of them anywhere and he will scold me if I return without them, because he really needs them." After this, her eyes shot back to the floor, taking a deep breath to steady her nerves. She had never talked to a stranger as much in her life as that before. It was easy to tell that Celeste was desperate to get these supplies.

[The_Obsolete_Master]

Karl looked at Celeste. It was obvious this girl still did not feel comfortable. He smiled and said with a soft, warm tone: “Your father does not let you come out much, does he? Well, stop being so shy. I will not bite your head off. I will not hurt you. I am here to help. Now let me introduce you to someone…” Karl turned away from Celeste and whistled a sharp melody on his fingers.

It remained silent for a short while. Suddenly a white tiger came flying around the corner. He jumped up. Its mighty paws stretched out towards Karl. He jumped against Karl his chest, and Karl fell down because of the weight and momentum of the cat to the ground. The cat growled loudly. He spread his jaws, showing his long razor sharp teeth. People started screaming, absolutely sure that the cat would devourer Karl. But the cat started to lick his face. Karl pushed the cat away and said with a angry tone: “Kiro. Stop kidding around! You got everyone scared!” Kiro looked at Karl with sad, big eyes and said: “Sorry Karl…”

A woman screamed: “That cat! It is going to eat that man!” Karl quickly jumped up and walked towards the woman. He said: “I am sorry for his behaviour ma’am. But the tiger is my pet. He will not hurt anyone. He was just a bit enthusiastic. Please, forgive us.” The woman looked at Karl as if he was some cow dung stuck to the bottom of her shoe. Then she walked on.

Karl went back to Celeste. He scratched the back of his head with a stupid grin across his face. “That did not go well. Let me introduce you to Kiro. This big ‘ol puttycat here. You probably have noticed that he can talk. Do not ask, long story. Perhaps some day…” Karl got a sad look in his eyes, revealing that there was big trauma behind this story. He daydreamed like that for a couple of seconds, but then the life came back in his eyes. He said: “About those items, you got a list or something? Do you have any idea who could know where to find them?”

[Celestial]

Celeste backed away slightly, scared senseless when that tiger appeared suddenly from around the corner, but as soon as it licked Karl's face she knew that it did not mean any harm. It was obvious that this tiger was no normal tiger and that if it didn't attack Karl then it would by no means attack herself, unless the tiger was told to of course.

Looking back up at Karl with his large grin, she noted that he wanted to help her out. Deciding that it would be best to accept the help, considering the fact that she didn't know her way around very well, she pulled out a small battered piece of paper, scrawled on in rushed handwriting in ink. Reading aloud softly to herself to make sure that nothing was missing, she handed the list to Karl.
"...Painkillers...bandages...antiseptics....basic medical stuff, basically." She finished, holding the sheet out at arms length for him to see. She was still slightly wary of him, considering that she had only just met him and also had a pet tiger who could talk but he obviously knew his way around and she needed all the help she could get.

"All I know about getting them is that they're somewhere in this town, but I don't know where. I've been from stall to stall but they're all sold out of everything medical. I don't have a clue where to try next." As she finished explaining her dilemma, her voice became quieter and quieter, allowing the desperation she was feeling to show through in her usual soft expression and tone of voice.

"Things never seem to be easy for me..." She thought to herself once again, thinking back to the traumatic experiences of her life: her mother dying when she was young, learning medicine as an apprentice to her father, always being scolded when she got something ever so small and insignificant wrong. She wished her mother was still with her. "She would know what to do..."

Turning her attention back to the more important matters in the present, she looked back up at Karl and then down at Kiro, then back to Karl again, hope shining in her emerald eyes.
"Do you have any ideas where to get them?" She asked quietly, her hands clasped together in front of her chest, as if begging for the answer that she hoped for.

[The_Obsolete_Master]

Karl looked at the paper. It were indeed basic medical supplies, yet Karl had no clue at all. He shook his head: "Sorry Celeste, I would not know. Why do we not ask some of these here merchants?" And to underline his words, Karl turned around and walked towards one of the merchants.

Merchant: "Ah, good day sir! Can I help you with anything?"
Karl: "Yes sir. I need some medical supplies."
Merchant: "But you look perfectly fine to me. You are going on an adventure?"
Karl sighed, showing his impatience. "Do you have 'em or not?"
Merchant: "I do not trade in medical equipment. I also heard that there were some problems getting them into town."
Karl: "Problems, what kind of problems?"
Merchant: "Bandits keep raiding the caravans in the south. There are hardly enough supplies in town!"
Karl nodded and politely thanked the man. He walked back to Celeste.

With a serious frown, indicating trouble, on his face he said: "Hmm. It seems some raiders are terrorizing the incoming caravans. All supplies are low. Perhaps, if we can get rid of these bandits, we could get some of those supplies you need." Karls sharp eyes had already noticed the whip Celeste carried. "Are you a bit handy with that whip of yours? Because Kiro and I will not be able to stop them on our own."

[Celestial]

Celeste's eyes flicked down to her whip and she smiled. She had always been told to carry that whip around ever since she was young enough to use it. The long length and the lightweight material that it was made out of made it ideal for her to carry around all the time and it was easy to use by anyone of varying degrees of strength. Okay, so there was not a lot of accuracy or power in a chain whip, but the range made up for those things...and they might not be able to reach those bandits at the caravans, so her whip could obviously come in handy.

glancing back up at Karl, a slight smirk crossed her face.
"Of course I'm handy with my whip. I've had it since I've been old enough to carry one." She explained, not keen on the thought of hurting people: she had always been the healer, not the fighter, but she reasoned with herself that she was going to be helping so many people by hurting these few, she she didn't feel as guilty for planning to take down those bandits. Smiling sweetly at Karl, she expressed her gratitude for what he was doing.
"Thank you so much for helping me out." She finished, before adding "And you and Kiro will not be taking them on alone."

[The_Obsolete_Master]

Karl nodded. He was proud to help the young woman and was confident that she could handle herself when things got tricky. “Good. We must go to the south. The merchant told me that they ambush the caravans over there.”

Karl saw no point in standing there for any longer. So he started to walk off. He telepathically spoke to Kiro: “I am sure that she can handle herself well, but I want you to watch her back. Who knows what we might encounter. Or how many”. Kiro growled loudly to confirm he had heard him.

About this time, they approached the gate. A couple of guards were standing there. Karl walked up to one of them. “Excuse me. I heard about some trouble in the south?” The guard frowned and looked at Karl. He seemed to make sure if this stranger would be worth the information he had. “Who wants to know?” was his short reply. “I am Karl. Me and Celeste here are investigating this matter.” The guard shifted his view from Karl to Celeste. He smirked: “So, some peasant and a girl are going to save the day? Ha! You do not stand a chance!” Karl looked arrogantly at the guard: “Well, I don’t see you work this crap out. And it is your job, is it not!?” The guard became clearly upset. “Now you listen to me young man. There are who knows how many bandits out there! We haven’t seen any survivors in weeks! You do not think I will risk my life for that, do you?” Karl looked disgusted at the soldier. He did not reply but walked out of the gates. The guard shouted: “You are a fool! You will never come back alive!” Kiro passed the guard and hissed: “Coward!” Karl thought it was a pity he could not see the face of the guard.

A windy trail led them into the hills. Karl looked around and saw how vast the landscape was. It seemed like an impossible mission to locate where everything happened. Luckily Kiro was around. He said: “I smell something. I will scout ahead!” And Kiro spurted off. He ran through the hills. He made sure that he staid out of sight. Just after a couple of minutes he stumbled upon the wreckage of some carts. He saw corpses scattered around. Suddenly he heard some slight moaning. Someone was alive! Kiro send a telepathical message to Karl. “Karl! I found something! There is someone alive here! Quick, get Celeste here! Perhaps she can help him!”

Karl looked at Celeste. “Kiro has found something. There is a survivor, but I am afraid he is in bad shape. Follow me! I know where they are.” Karl indeed knew where Kiro was. Kiro was his soul, and there was a bond between the two that would overstretch time, matter and space. It took them a quick ten minute run until they reached the wreckage. The air was filled with the stench of the rotting corpses. Karl said: “Quick Celeste. Kiro is behind that cart. There is where the wounded man is. I will check the environment for clues or threats. Let me know if you learn something!”

[Celestial]

Rushing over, Celeste spotted the survivor that Karl was talking about. Kneeling down by his side, she reached out with two of her fingers and gently touched the side of his neck. A pulse: faint, but unmistakably there. Reaching to her pale canvas bag that she always carried around with her, she emptied the contents of what looked like a mini first aid kit. Lookign up at Karl, she smiled.
"I always carry one around with me." She explained, before getting to work on the wounds. They were deep, and a few were gushing with blood, but none of them were life threatening. Treating them slowly and carefully to avoid causing any more damage, she waited for Karl and Kiro to return with news of anything that they had found.

Eventually, the survivor stirred, his eyes staring blankly up at the sky.
"Th...Those...bandits..."He mumbled, causing Celeste's eyes to snap to his own. "Th...They were everywhere...so much pain...so much agony...so much blood..."He finished, obviously shocked from what had happened. Taking a look at Celeste, he seemed to pity her.
"Poor girl...so young...be careful..." He explained, before mumbling, "Be careful..." before losing consciousness again. She knew that this would be a dangerous task, but for someone to warn her to be careful was taking things to a whole new level.

Searching around for the other two with her eyes, she felt like someone was watching her.
"Karl! Kiro!" Celeste shouted, the panic in her voice obviously indicating the fear that she was feeling about being left alone. Standing up slowly, she kept one hand by her waist at all times, making sure that her hand was always in easy reach of her whip in case she needed to use it. Walking forwards slowly, she searched around the surroundings, keeping her eyes open for friend or foe alike.

[The_Obsolete_Master]

Sorry for rushing the quest. I leave it up to you to introduce the enemy

“Karl! Kiro!”The shout of Celeste, panic in her voice, immediately alerted Karl. Kiro immediately stood next the girl. His front paws stretched out. His head low behind his shoulders, his hairs high on his back. Kiro was ready for battle. Karl quickly came as well. His weapon drawn and very stressed. Realizing that the enemy had not yet arrived, he quickly put his leather helmet on his head. You never know right?

Karl said: “Kiro, can you see anything?” Kiro looked and smelled. “There is something in the bushes. But I smell to many different things… I can’t tell how many, who or what. We must wait and see.” Karl was uncertain what to do. He saw the wounded man that laid unconsciously on the ground. He waved to Kiro and Celeste to move forward. They had to be away from the wounded man on the ground.

Karl whispered: “Stay alert. Who knows what may come.” Karl kept on the lookout so he might react when hell breaks loos.

[Celestial]

It's alright. I'll do that now then =]

Celeste slowly reached where Karl was stood, his weapon held ready and reached for her own. Holding it in her hand, she waited quietly, slowing her breathing to hardly anything. Listening to the surroundings, she heard the crumble of rocks above her, as if someone was walking across them or, in the case of bandits, sneaking in to get a good shot at them. Risking a swift glance upwards, she managed to dodge out of the way of a rough-looking bandit who had just hurtled down off the cliff towards her, their sword drawn and held in a fashion that was ready to strike a fatal blow.

"Karl!" She said as a warning to alert him to what was happening. "They're here." With a swift flick of the wrist, the mass of lightweight chain slipping out from it's casing. Swinging it above her head in a great arc, she struck down on the bandit that had jumped down to her, leaving a large welt across his face from where the chain struck. Alright, chains may not be very powerful, but this chain made up for lack of power with range and speed. Looking around towards where Karl was stood, she smirked.
"I told you I was handy with my whip." She laughed, before winking and throwing another swing at the bandit, knocking him off balance.

But that was when it came.

A rushing sound appeared from above the cliffs and down came a flood of bandits, all of varying ages and all with varying types of weapons, landing all around them. Gulping, Celeste knew that this wasn't going to be easy. Making sure that she was still close to Karl and Kiro, she began to panic.
"Oh my goodness...what happens if we fail? What happens if I..." She paused for a moment, deciding to not finish that thought. Sighing, she continued her thought.
"Why can't things ever be easy?"

[The_Obsolete_Master]

Dang! Did it really have to be that many? LoL
“Karl! They’re here.” Karl quickly turned around, and so did Kiro. Karl was startled by the huge numbers of bandits that seemed to pour down the cliff like water. Fear had its cold, hard grip around Karl his heart. But Karl was too well trained to allow fear to freeze him. Karl knew how to use the fear as an instrument to sharpen his reflexes, his eyesight. He knew that they were all on their own. Karl was trained as a swordfighter, and because of this he also had learned a little bit of battlefield tactics. Not well enough to use them in the middle of a battle, like here. But he could recognize the tactics the enemy would use.

Within seconds they were surrounded by the bandits. They looked at the three. Karl saw how some of the eyes of the bandits studied Celeste, while licking their lips. Karl knew what they were thinking. A huge rage started to master Karl his mind as memories of the fatal night came up in him. But he knew that if he allowed his mind to be clouded with that rage that he would not be able to fight as well as he could. Next to that, Kiro could become unpredictable. And if Kiro would be injured then Karl would be hurt as well. And if Kiro died, so would Karl.
Karl immediately ordered Kiro. “Use Copy Cat! Now!” Kiro growled, pushed his body to the ground. He trembled and lit up. A bright light radiated around, blinding them all for a couple of seconds. The light disappeared just as fast as it came, once Karl was able to see again he saw that Celeste, Kiro and himself were surrounded by twenty exact copies of Kiro. They formed a protective barrier between them and the bandits. Karl knew that the copies were pretty harmless. They could use a weak spell, but just one blow and they would disappear.

Because of the energy Kiro had used, Karl became a bit lightheaded. He felt mentally drained. But his physical strength was still at its original level. Karl saw that the bandits were startled by the sudden appearance of the clones. Karl shouted bolder then he felt: “So, what are you going to do against this magic huh? Take one step closer and I will turn you into frogs! And then I will let these cats here feast on you all!” Karl saw that the bandits were confused. Was that man telling the truth? Would he really be a wizard? Karl used this moment to instruct both Celeste and Kiro. He whispered to the girl: “Cover your eyes!” “Now Kiro. Soul Flash!” Karl quickly closed his eyes.

Kiro opened his jaws, and so did the clones. They all growled, the noise was deafening. In the back of their throats a white, bright light appeared. The light radiated around their teeth. The noise reached its climax. Kiro and its copies unleashed the soul flare. The light was brighter than anything else. Because of the strength of the twenty clones, the light was strong enough to blind everyone who looked in it. The bandits who were close by fell down to the ground. They had received the full power of the attack, and that would be the same as to look directly into the sun. While standing next to it. Their eyesight was totally gone. They shouted, cried, screamed. Some of them started to scratch their eyes until blood came pouring out of it.

Karl felt that his mental energy was completely drained by now. He realized that there was a big possibility that Copy Cat would wear of soon, so he immediately engaged the bandits. He passed the helpless, crying bandits on the ground and attacked some of the bandits that were just temporarily blinded. The blade of his sword penetrated deep and quick into the chests of the blinded bandits. About ten of them fell by his blade. Kiro was weak because of the spells Karl had made him use. But Kiro also knew that the bandits could never see him on time. So he jumped into the battle as well.

Kiro ran for his first victim. He jumped up, his paws stretched out. His nails dug into the bandit his flesh. Because of the weight and momentum, the bandit fell down. Kiro quickly killed him by biting his throat. He slashed with his nails at another bandit his achilles heel. The bandit immediately fell down and he received the same faith as his predecessor. It took Karl and Kiro just a couple of seconds to thin the ranks of the bandits to almost half its size. And if one would add up the blind bandits, not much of the original force was left. Karl and Kiro retreated to the protective circle of the cats. Both exhausted from the fight. It was up to Celeste now to finish the remaining bandits of.

[Celestial]

As soon as Karl instructed her to cover her eyes, Celeste did that immediately, knowing that it was obviously going to be something serious. Ducking down and covering her face with both her hands, she saw a very pale light seep through the gaps in her fingers. This light faded as quickly as it had appeared, revealing many of those bandits moaning in agony, completely blinded by the flash of light.

Scanning around the battle with her eyes, she had noticed that most of the bandits had been taken care of in such a quick time by both the handiwork of Karl and Kiro: it was so clear that they had some sort of trianing, unlike Celeste herself who just normally carried her whip with her for her own personal safety. Looking at the fallen bandits, she felt a pang of sympathy; they were probably only doing their job, set by a higher authority, but it still didn't change the fact that they were trying to kill her and the others. In this circumstance, it was either kill-or-be-killed, which changed everything.

She soon caught a glance of Karl and Kiro, who were worn down from using all their power taking down all of these bandits. Realising this, she lashed out a few times with her chain whip, knocking down the rest of the bandits. And it wasn't too long afterwards before they were done. Making her way back over to Karl and Kiro, she felt an overwhelming feeling of gratitude.
"They just helped me so much without even knowing me properly. thank you both so much." were the thoughts that flashed through her mind.

[The_Obsolete_Master]

Karl got up, leaning heavily on his blade. He moaned and suddenly felt a sharp pain in his shoulder. Kiro growled, his deep. voice also filled with pain. Karl put his hand on his shoulder but saw that his hand was clean of blood. “Kiro!” Karl quickly ran over to the tiger. “What is it boy? Let me have a look.” Karl searched Kiro for injuries. His frantic search made it obvious that he was very worried about his friend. It took a couple of seconds for Karl to find the wound, but it seemed like ages. Karl was relieved to see that the wound was not very deep, but it needed to be taken care of. He waved Celeste: “Please, take care of him. I would hate to see that wound infected.” Especially because my life depends on his.

Karl walked to the wounded man on the ground. He kneeled closely to him. The man was conscious, yet barely. Karl said: “Tell me. Where did they go with the supplies?” The man replied but his voice was so weak that Karl had to lean over to hear him. “They went into the woods“ he said, “they took everything we had. Food, medicines, everything!” The man coughed a couple of times, the last time a gulp of blood followed. He moaned, and than laid quiet. Karl saw a glimpse of the soul leaving this earthly realm.

Karl! You did a fine job there. Keep it going! The Judge had spoken once more. Just a short message, yet it inspired and motivated Karl to move on and to resolve this situation. He crippled back to Kiro and Celeste. He put his hand on her shoulder. “Are you alright? I understand that battle is hard for a healer. I’m sorry that the course of faith has put us in this position. Yet I am grateful that it is you I experience this with. How is Kiro doing?“

[Celestial]

Sorry about the wait for this reply. This really isn't my month. Got such bad luck lately. I apologise

Celeste smiled at the mass of gratitude she was being given by Karl, her cheeks losing her usual pale tone to be replaced with a hint of rose red through embarrassment of being thanked. She turned back to Kiro and examined his wound on his shoulder. At a first glance it appeared to be a very serious wound but upon closer inspection, it turned out to only be a graze. She cleaned out the graze carefully as that was the only thing that she could do with it. Looking back up at karl, she smiled as she noted the concern written all across his face about how his companion was.

"It was only a graze." She explained, before standing up, stretching her arms up high above her head, before dropping them back down to her sides. "And before you say anything about "But that seemed far too painful to be just a graze" or something like that, grazes hurt a lot more than a cut or a puncture." After she finished what she had to say, her face softened sympathetically as she realised that what she had just said might appear harsh to Karl, especially since he had just helped her.
"Sorry, that wasn't meant to sound harsh."

Over those past few hours, she had completely loosened up around Karl and Kiro, not hesitating to talk to either of them at all like she would to any other random stranger AND she had also fought side-by-side with him, trusting him with her own life, and he trusted his life in the hands of Celeste, which was a very strange thing for someone to do to almost a complete stranger. Then he also showed concern towards her, which was unusual for many people nowadays. Celeste had noticed when she was out on her rounds through the poorer areas that everyone usually kept to themselves, not wanting to help their neighbors or anything. Smiling at the realisation that she had finally found someone who still had some sort of heart in this place, she couldn't help but feel happy inside.

"And of course I'm fine! I've always been good with my whip, like I said before."

[The_Obsolete_Master]

It took a long time before you replied. I guess you either are on a holiday or you just quit or something. I finish this thread by editing this post and then submit this for judging. Then I can edit the history of K&K and move on to something new

Karl was happy to hear that Kiro was fine. He stroked the cat over its head. “You fought well buddy. Now rest.” Kiro purred to show he was happy. He got up and limped to Celeste. He rubbed his head firmly against her leg and said: “Thanks for your care.”

Karl said: “Celeste, we are at a critical point here. Perhaps we can find the items you need somewhere here in the debris. We could also head out in the woods, and try to find the supplies there. However, me and Kiro are to tired and weak to be able to fight properly again. We were lucky the previous time that we managed to surprise and scare them enough. We can not count on luck again. I am not eager to give my life for a village that disrespects us when we want to aid them. However, I will go back and tell them about our discoveries. Perhaps one day our paths will cross again. I thank you for everything!” Karl simply bowed and turned around. He slowly walked away in the distance. Kiro close to his side. Karl his hand rested slowly on top of the head of the big cat.

[Skie and Avery]

Quest Judging
Things Are Never Easy...

STORY

Continuity ~ 4/10. I was never let in on just why The Obsolete Master was in the marketplace to begin with, coupling that with the fact that you gave me nothing about your past, I really can't see where this fits for you.

Setting ~ 5/10. Both of your writing could use a lot more description. At first it was okay, but seemed to have the bad habit that a lot of threads have and filter off as the quest goes on.

Pacing ~ 5/10. There was so little meat to your writing that it flew by without be being able to get into the story.

CHARACTER

Dialogue ~ 4/10. A lot of the time the dialogue seemed really unbelievable, like I could actually imagine your characters as bad actors reading from a script that wasn't right for them. Speaking of, in post 8, script form was utilized for the dialogue. Unless you use that method throughout the whole thread, it shouldn't have been done in that post. I know you were trying to save time, but it really affects scores when you do something like that.

Action ~ 5/10.

Persona ~ 5/10. Celeste's anti-social nature really surprised me, and her persona between talking and whipping was so different. Had you described just how using the whip gave her confidence, I think this would have melded better.

WRITING STYLE

Technique ~ 4/10. A lot of simple sentences and repeating of the same words made your writing styles lack any personality. There was little flow, and while every once in a while a simile was thrown in, it wasn't enough to really bring the writing to life. Celeste, a free thesaurus is available at http://thesaurus.reference.com/ and there's no shame in using it. In post 17, you used the word "graze" five times. It's one of those things that your reader actually does notice, and can make that section of writing tedious.

Mechanics ~ 5/10. Nothing that a bit of proofreading wouldn't hurt. Celeste at one point forgot to capitalize the first letter in a sentence, and TOM, there were a couple of spelling errors and trouble with homophones. There was a really awkward sentence there where you're describing an attack on a bandit, and said, "He slashed with his nails at another bandit his achilles heel."

Clarity ~ 7/10.

MISCELLANEOUS

Wild Card ~ 4/10.

TOTAL ~ 48/100.

Celestial gains 416 EXP and 130 GP
The_Obsolete_Master gains 425 EXP and 140 GP

The_Obsolete_Master, I've given you a very small bonus to your rewards for having gone the extra mile in this. While the quest wasn't "yours", ie started by you, I could tell that you put a good effort into it.

[Zook Murnig]

EXP/GP ADDED!