Cool! Riceballs! ;P (Open to one)

[Yukina]

It was afternoon and most people were heading home mid-day for lunch and to see their family for a quick meal. Yuki was on the outskirts of the town, sitting at the base of a green tree who's branches spread out like a bird with multiple wings, shading her all around. She'd been eating a boxed lunch she made consisting of fish and rice she had worked for in her spare time the previous week.

Yuki watched the sun high in the sky and looked over the photo she recieved from the monk the other day. Remember... Remember...

Flashback.

There was Yuki and her friend Asch, a boy with brown hair, a red torn shirt, black torn jeans, sneakers, and a chain on his pants. They were sitting below a tree watching clouds go by and angels fly through the sky, they were talking about something, but Yuki couldn't remember what, so it was all just lips moving. Every now and again she'd remember a word or two until she remembered a whole sentence Asch said.
"If tomorrow's the last day, then lets meet up somewhere safe."

End Flashback.

I found a place... so safe... not a single tear... the first time in my life... And then a crow flew from the tree, startling her. She looked up and heard bells. Yuki stood up and started to walk back into town. "Lunch break's over..."
Hm... Now what... I think i need to get stronger... I guess I'll go back to the citadel... It's not like people die...
And then she remembered. Ugh... It's that wound again. she grabbed her left forearm, That goddamn bandit... I should've been more careful.
She awkwardly walked towards the citadel, she had healed the wound the best she could and now it was up to it to finish healing.

Yuki walked inside and spoke with a monk. A short man with a long brown robe covering his face. She said to him, "I want to fight." As always she was asked where to. She spoke quietly saying, "A wheat field by a brook far away from civilization.

And she walked through a wooden door, into dark nothingness. It quickly transformed. She was standing on the soft ground, with yellow-brown stalks of corn and bales of hay all around. She was in the middle of a field of wheat and to her right she saw a river flowing downstream, it was sunset and the water was shining. The sky was orange and there was a small village on top of a mountain far off but still in eye sight.

Yuki stood there, the wind passing her and her hair blowing in the wind, she drew her blade with her right hand and waited.

[Winterhair]

Hey Yukina. Care for a rematch? c: I want to see how you've grown. Lets make this short and sweet, and have fun!

Vincent stared at the obsidian ring he had taken out of his bag, its smooth surface rubbing his fingers. Again, he could find nothing strange about it. Other than the words that were engraved into it, it was just a ring, albeit heavier than any he had held before. Sighing in frustration, he stood and set the ring down on the table by the bed, making a small THUNK as it made contact with the wood. Samantha turned from the mirror, where she was brushing her long raven hair and eying her lover not-so-secretly, and spoke in a soft tone. "Whats the matter?"

The white haired swordsman walked over to the glass doors that held back the morning breeze and opened them, letting that breeze caress his skin and closing his eyes. He tilted his head back, letting his naked body be explored by the wind as he lifted one hand and slowly ran it through his hair. The silken strands he slowly pulled at, letting each finger kiss the back of his scalp before dropping his hand to his side and stepping out into the balcony, ignoring the statement of his nudity.

Samantha followed him, a worried expression on her face and her bluish black eyes creasing in concern. She placed a hand on his back as he leaned forward, his massive frame pressing against the stone balcony. "Vincent?" She murmured, trying to get his attention as his eyes searched the streets below.

"Hmm?" He murmured back, and turned to her, then blinking as if awakening from a dream. "Oh, sorry." His arms reached up above his head as he stretched, the rising sun illuminating the tan of his skin. Samantha silently wrapped her arms around his waist as he did this, laying her head on the middle of his back as she was smaller than he, at least by a foot. Her silken black hair fell and covered half her face as she kissed his back.

"Its alright. You simply seem out if it." She responded back to him, holding him tighter around the waist. Vincent smiled at her affection before turning around in her arms and holding her back, pressing her naked form against his before engaging in a long, deep kiss that seemed to hold forever to the two.

However, it did not last forever, and soon enough the kiss broke. "I guess I am. 'Ave just been thinkin' alot, I guess." He grimaced at his own words. He hated thinking: It got in the way of his instincts, which were the most important weapons of all of his.

"About what?" Samantha let go of him and walked back into the bedroom, her hips swaying vivaciously as she once again picked up the comb and started to slide it through her hair. Vincent followed suit, stepping back inside and shutting the doors before starting to get dressed, lethargically sliding his white gi pants on and his sandals.

"...Just..." Vincent stopped moving as he once again looked at the ring he had set upon the table. He picked it up, flipped it with a flick of his thumb, then caught it in his hand before gazing at it again. "...I'm just wondering why the hell am I being watched?"

Samantha looked back at him. He had already told her about how after his battle with the angel girl, the weasel-like man had given him this ring and a strange letter telling Vincent that he was being kept, basically, for future purposes, and that that ring would let them know when he was ready. "Maybe they are interested in your sword abilities." She shrugged and resumed combing her hair. "You are pretty good, after all."

"But why me? There are thousands of better swordsman out there." Vincent growled in annoyance at his inability to understand, and picked up his sword angrily before tossing it on the bed.

Samantha didn't even glance back as she spoke. "I don't know, Vincent. You'd have to take that up with the man who gave it to you in the first place." She set the comb down as she cocked her hips and watched Vincent pull on his black coat, a thin material that was only really there for decency. "Going to the Citadel?" She suddenly asked of the swordsman.

He nodded. "I need to get out...train a little bit. Get stronger." He murmured, and was just about to reach for the scythe that lay with his traveling bag, mist still coming off of the weapon in little trails. However, something changed his mind, and he frowned before pulling his hand back and grabbing his bag, which contained his wraps, water, money, and the ring and letter from the mysterious "Beazel."

"Not taking the scythe?" Samantha asked of him before sitting on the bed, starting to get dressed herself in a black corset. He shook his head no.

"If I can't win without it, what kinda swordsman am I?" He asked rhetorically of the prostitute, and without another word stalked out of the room, the door shutting unnecessarily loud. However, Samantha was no longer watching him leave. She had her full attention on the scythe before her, its snaky tendrils of mist enclosing her wrist as she lifted it up in the air before her.

'Ello, Samantha. Again?

The voice seemed to echo through out the room, a strange airy quality to the sexless sound. Samantha only nodded before reaching under the huge bed filling up a quarter of the lavish bedroom and pulling out twin swords, their edges gleaming in the sunlight. "Again." she whispered, and the mist slowly started to separate itself from the scythe.

------------------------------------------------------------------

Vincent opened his eyes to a scene of beauty.

The arena he had stepped into was endless, it seemed. Stretching far on into the distance, the sky burning with the cry of sundown and the wind whispering through the stalks of corn and hay that he stood amongst. The feeling tickled his legs as he held his head up, surveying his surroundings with his intense eyes, hawkish and burning for blood. A river, he noticed, flowed downstream towards a village in the distance, and he knew if he walked far enough he could reach that village.

Where had they sent him? He didn't know. But as he turned, all previous thoughts and questions, doubts and concerns left him immediately. For there stood his opponent, blade held ready in her right hand, her stance open as she had the wind blowing through her golden hair dramatically. And as her crystal blue eyes met his shining quicksilver ones, he knew what she was thinking.

For this was the same angel he had faced when he had first come to Radasanth and fought in the Citadel. The same angel that had practically annihilated him with her powers. He grit his teeth at that thought, and his incisors showed as he growled like an animal. He said nothing as he stepped forward, slowly drawing his long serrated blade from its ivory sheath with a whispering rasp. He tossed the scabbard away and dropped his bag immediately, before he took off in a burst of speed with his powerful legs.

He flew forward towards his intended target, his blade held ready to pierce and impale her. His head was filled with only one, dominating thought: to crush the angel that had crushed him so, long ago. He had fought her once; he knew what she could do. And as Vincent's huge form closed in on her like a homing arrow, he knew that this wouldn't be the same as last time.

The very grass beneath his feet, the feeling of the air between his clothes caressing his skin and the taste of fresh air in his mouth as he snarled in greeting told him so.

I would just like to note that this is liquid timed past any of my current quests and past my pending one with the Writing Writer, but takes place before the bazaar thread.

[Yukina]

I accshept your rematch :3
Yuki was staring into the water that was reflecting the orange sky and sun. It was enough to make her want to cry. She turned now to see her opponent. A tall man with great muscles and a sword to rend even the best of foes. She was suprised, as her eyes went a little wider. She opened her mouth to speak, but was answered with a charge.

I can't fight with my left hand, it'll have to be my casting hand... oh please dear god don't notice the bandage on my arm...

She held her sword ready, confused personally about whether to try to avoid the attack or block it, but before she had time to think, she found herself a few inches from a sword so she simply held her sword horizontally in front of her to parry the attack, but in her current state, the weapon coming at her was now just slowed and sparks of friction now flying between them. Yuki's blade gave out and she fell to the side, her opponent's sword was still going forward so it hit the ground.

That's not even a centimeter away from my foot... I really hope coming here was not a bad idea...

And the terror of the battle just enveloped her mind.

[Winterhair]

All bunnies previously approved.

Vincent's serrated sword glanced off of hers as she tried to block his thrust. Their blades clashed as the setting sun gleamed off their edges, shining like twin beacons in the field of wheat and wind. Sparks flew as his blade scraped alongside hers, and as he felt the contact his silver eyes widened as anger filled his bones, filling him with strength. With a grunt of effort, he used the serrated edge of his blade to push the angel away with her own sword, and she fell to the ground in a small roll. His sandaled feet moved swiftly across the moist ground as his charge continued forward, never losing the momentum of his movement. The blade stuck into the ground and dug up the earth itself from the sheer intensity of the thrust.

"Do you remember me, angel?" He snarled at the fallen girl, an animal-like growl creeping into his voice as he spoke. " 'Cause I sure as hell remember you." His blade lifted into the air as he pulled it from the ground in one clean stroke, the razor sharp tip shining in the in the sun as bits of earth and dirt rose with it. The serrated edge gleamed with malicious intent as he swung it down at the fallen angel, taking a step forth with his left foot to cut her open with one stroke. His left hand reached out behind him as he spun his body forward with the movement, putting his all into this strike as his black coat flew out behind him like a giant bat's wing. His white hair shone alongside his blade as it too flew up with the sudden attack, exposing the fearsome visage of his face. A snarl of rage was placed on it, exposing the incisors of his teeth, ready to rip open his opponent at the very first sign of weakness.

[Yukina]

"How could I ever forget?" She responded. And as quick as the wind itself, his blade was coming upon her again, she attempted to parry the attack, but when she reached for her blade, it was too late. The last thing she could do was shout "Pearl!" and a silver orb the size of her palm which was limply being held up by her injured arm. But it wasn't quick enough, the attack hit right about his neck, but she forgot to dodge completely, and her left leg had a cut in it, not too big, but still enough to make her reconsider her actions.

She groped for her sword and upon grabbing hold of it, crawled away from the warrior. She gathered her bearings and hesitantly stood up, blade in hand. "I see you still carry the anger from our last battle..." She sighed.

The way I am now, this battle will be all about defense. I don't think I could pull off an assault on my part.

She held her blade in front of her pointing it at her opponent. The wind blowing her light colored golden hair gently and innocently past her face. Her eyes looked like they were going to cry, but there was a subtle strength there. She made no expression with her mouth. But she radiated an aura that simply showed she was scared out of her mind.

[Winterhair]

Vincent's blade came crashing down and cut into the angel's leg, the tip of the strange sword kissing the girl's skin before ripping into her. The blade tore into the soft, milky flesh as she rolled away, leaving a thin line of red that slowly oozed blood down her leg. The kinetic force of Vincent's slash was great enough where even though his attack had connected, it had not slowed down the blade one bit, and again his sword slashed the ground itself, causing a gout of earth and dirt to spray up. He rotated his arm around swiftly for another attack, but not before the angel's attack finally reached him.

The orb of light she had shot from her hand slammed into his neck, stopping his movement for a moment as it burned into his skin. He gritted his teeth for a moment at the familiar sensation of the burning light. He remembered the last battle he had held with this girl, and how her attacks of light had practically annihilated him. "Damn right I do." He growled at her, and cracked his neck back into place with a loud snap that filled the the soft air. He stepped slowly through the wheat and corn stalks, spinning his long blade around in his fingers as his silver eyes began to swirl slowly and he cracked the knuckles of his left hand by pressing them against his muscular neck. "And you better 'ave something stronger this time ta' take me down, or I'm gonna rip you to shreds." His voice held the malicious intent behind this promise and he narrowed his eyes as he snarled at his opponent, the vampire-like fangs in his mouth gleaming with the fading of the sunlight in the distance.

And darkness shall blot out the light, eh Vincent?

The voice rang through his head, and Vincent's silver eyes widened as growled low in his throat, low enough so his angelic opponent would not be able to hear him. "Shut up..." His visage became filled with anger as he clutched his head with his free hand. "...stay out of my head..."

Kill her.

Suddenly Vincent's eyes snapped to the angel, and in them was an insane blood lust that had not been there before. Now there was an order he could follow. A primal scream erupting from his throat, Vincent launched himself straight at the angel, who had pitifully lifted her sword to point it at the juggernaut of the man who was headed at her like a hound out of hell. The waves of corn and and wheat bent before his sheer mass and energy as he ran at full speed, crossing the short distance between them with little effort.

"Die, bitch." He said to the angel as he came up close, using his hand to try and smack the blade she held away and out of her hands and swung his giant saw-like sword at her midsection, hard and fast enough so that if it connected she would be ripped in half from the sheer amount of anger and power behind it.

[Yukina]

Yuki watched him stop for a moment. He just stood there, but he wouldn't look at her. She thought he was having some sort of mental conflict. Whatever gives me a little extra time to recover... But now was not the time to rest, because he was charging at her, with such a brutal strength it was apparent. She could almost see the fire eminating from his eyes. It was morbidly frightening. Shivers traveled down her spine as she watched him come at her with the brute force great enough to tear a castle asunder.

She covered her chest with her arm and sword. Holding her hands accross her chest in an 'X' with the blade in her right hand. She remembered the smart thing to do and yelled "Holy Barrier!" and her silver shield appeared. But she almost had a heart attack out of shock when this happened. The blade struck her barrier, it turned a frightening blood red before shattering into a thousand pieces, the force of the collision sending her flying in the opposite direction, she did not stop until she hit a small shack atleast fifteen feet from her original position.

She was slouched against the shack and opened her eyes, tilting her head to the side. She used the wall to help her stand up. It was an awkward standing and she stood uncomfortabley. Taking but one step ahead.

I guess this was a bad idea...

She opened her mouth which had a small tear sized stream of blood now running from her bottom lip and said.

"Nice to see you too..."

All or nothing.

She took the blade in her hand and started to charge towards her opponent.

[Winterhair]

Some dim part of Vincent knew that something was wrong. This was not like the battle he had first had with the angel. That one he had been struggling to survive, launching his heaviest attacks while the angel had barraged him with countless spells of skin-scorching light and had eventually driven him to the point where he had been thrown over her shoulder and impaled through the heart.

Some part wanted to know what the hell was the matter with her that she couldn't even put up a decent fight to him now. He saw her bandaged left arm, but that still explain the fact that she hadn't even taken flight. That had been one of the things that had bothered him the most during their battle, the fact that she had been able to fly just out of his reach of his blade.

Some part of him wanted to stop his endless rage against this girl, so he could allow her to recover and be able to put up a real fight. But the blood lust running through his veins was getting harder to control, and he began to feel the feral anger once more as his sword smashed through the quick shield the angel had put up. The sheer impact of his attack sent her flying and skidding on the ground, her wings bending slightly as she hit the side of a small wooden shack near the river. The wood made a loud snap as it broke slightly from the hit, and the angel shakily stood up from her position on the ground, panting heavily as blood leaked from her mouth. "Nice to see you too..." She said weakly to her opponent, before taking her blade which Vincent had not managed to smack away and charged at Vincent, obviously meaning to try and skewer him.

This was pathetic. The difference in her current strength and his was as far apart as the ground and the sky, the silver moon and the blade of grass. He didn't want to fight her like this. He wanted her at full strength, wanted the angel he had first fought when he had come to the Citadel. Not this--

KILL HER.

Vincent's eyes widened as he took a step back, clutching his face once more as he cursed out loud, his pupils dilating as he took on some inner struggle. His muscles became as tense as rocks as he hunched over, his right hand tightening on the hilt of his blade. "No!" He shouted out loud, seeming to thin air. "Not like this! Not like--"

KILL HER, VINCENT. KILL HER NOW---
Don't do as he says, Vincent. Listen to me...block him out and listen...

Shit, now the other voice was in his head too. These strange voices that now appeared in his head whenever he fought. The first voice was like an animal's, and it made every bone in his body want to tear the little girl charging at him to shreds. But the second...the second was more maternal, female...

Shut up, you bitch.
Go die in hell.
Been there, done that.
Get out of here. You have no place here.
I've been here far longer than you have, bitch. Your the one who doesn't belong. Vincent has been doing just fine until you came along--
--so turning him into a monster is just fine?!
Fucking hypocrite.
Hell born scum--

"WILL BOTH OF YOU JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP?!" Vincent screamed in primal fury just as the angel reached him. The two voices were like little children, bickering incessantly back and forth while he was trying to concentrate. Almost immediately, the voices stopped, and the feeling in his head like there was more than one person in there disappeared. Finally able to concentrate, Vincent at the last moment lashed out with his left hand, grabbing the edge of the angel's blade. He didn't even wince as he felt the keen edge bite into his flesh, so used to the taste of pain now that her blade was just a mild irritation on his flesh. Looking into her eyes and breathing slightly heavier, he snarled his next words.

"Look. The way your fightin', I don't even want to look at you right now. Your a pussy compared the angel I fought back then. Where's your fighting spirit? Where's that power I felt when I first fought ya?" He held her blade still as he spoke, tightening his grip on the edge and causing blood to run down it and drip to the dark ground beneath them. The sky was slowly darkening, and sunset was nearly upon the two warriors. Soon they would be fighting in the darkness. "How 'bout this: Let's call down one of them monks to heal us, and we can fight at full strength. I don't want to fight you any other way." His visage was gruesome and fierce as he spoke, but his eyes held deadly honesty.

[Yukina]

Her eyes grew a little wider and she spoke, "But that would..." She noticed he'd grabbed her sword so she thought she'd make it worse. Since he wanted desperately to kill her, she decided to do all in her power to make him feel the pain. She leaned back and slowly pulled his blade, although it took some strength, from his hand. Cutting a nice long gash and immediately sidestepping to get out of his immediate range.

"That wouldn't be very fair, now would it? Let's go. I wanna see what you can do when you're trying to actually kill me. Don't keep holding back on me."

She drew her dagger and used her wings to float into the air. As she chanted the words in an angelic language and drew runes with her dagger, the air all around dance. She finally said, "I call upon thee from the open gale!" And several strands of air became silver, until the came together to form a ball of light. "This here," She smirked. "Is a little time bomb familiar that I love to summon." It wasn't the most powerful thing in the world. It could probably put a hole the size of a door on the side of a barn though. Basically the destructive effect was large but it wasn't actually that painful.

She yelled, "Explode!" and the little bomb of light went towards her opponent. Yuki pushed back and found herself falling. Her lack of energy was apparent, she couldn't even use a decent spell. She landed in the little brook, hoping that her bomb would send her enemy backwards. She crawled backwards out from the water and stood up again. This time staring downward with her hands hanging down in front of her. She turned her head and looked straight up, letting her hands hang limp BEHIND her now. She said, "You're pretty good..." Her clothes were now covered with dirt and were pretty wet. She was dripping with blood and her bandage was coming off. She looked damp, beaten, abused, and overall, out of life.

She sighed. "What are you waiting for? If you really wanna kill me that badly..." She called out, her bomb (which actually moved rather slowly,) finally coming close to her enemy.

"Try it."

[Winterhair]

Vincent stared at the gash on his hand. It seemed to grow in his vision, increasing to colossal size, engulfing everything till all he saw was that red smile across his palm, bleeding furiously and dripping his life slowly on the ground. It stained the surrounding wheat stalks with red as he held it before him, looking at it as if were some sort of alien attached to his hand. The angel's words about her time bomb and her taunts off in the river flew right over his head. All his attention was on the bleeding wound of his palm.

Suddenly he clenched his fist, and blood sprayed from the wound on his hand, dripping out from his palm and coating his hand in the hot, sticky liquid. His entire body shook as he clenched it as hard as he could, his muscles rippling beneath the folds of his coat. The light of the fading sun in the distance surrounded him with an unearthly glow as he closed his eyes and his fangs pierced his own lips, causing more blood to flow as he snarled inhumanly.

"I try to give you mercy..." Vincent's voice escaped his lips, a frightening combination of man and beast. "...and you shove it back in my face. And here I thought angels were supposed ta' be honorable." His eyes snapped open, and slowly he turned to his tired opponent, who looked beaten down. However, he didn't care. The look in his swirling silver eyes told the angel that.

They were filled with malice and blood lust. Even more so than before. His glare pierced the distance between them, his eyes shining with the promise of death. He didn't want the battle he had wanted before. Not any more. Now the only want, the only need he had, was to see her dying slowly as he ripped her to shreds and devoured her flesh.

Kill her.
Vincent, no, don't give--
Kill her.
No, don't become an ani-
KILL HER.

"Don't need ta' tell me twice." Vincent snarled out loud before starting forward once more, taking slow easy steps towards his opponent. However, he was stopped by the voice in his head once more.

Get the ring.

Vincent didn't question the voice this time. His fury was too great, his mind too full of rage to even comprehend questioning the voice. He moved on his instincts and at the voice's guttural commands, moving swiftly back to the traveling bag he had dropped on the ground about ten feet away and reaching inside to grab the obsidian ring inside.

It was warm.

Vincent looked at it in mild surprise for a moment, examining it quickly. The heat seemed to emanate from the very metal itself, and of the runes that lined the ring's side one word burned bright red, burning into the swordsman's vision: Imora thea mi savur.

Put the ring on.

Vincent did as he was told, slipping the ring onto his left ring finger, the bloody hand a good contrast to the black band. He then turned and walked slowly in his opponent's direction once more, his sandals making a soft whisper across the the dirty earth and brushing weeds and wheat aside. His eyes, swirling silver and filled with a deadly inhuman rage, locked onto the angel's as he purposefully strode forth to the floating time bomb, which ticked ominously but otherwise had made no threatening sounds. He glanced at it in disgust. "This all you got?" He spoke aloud to his still panting opponent, her wings wet and dripping down her dirty form, and sneered at the floating ball of light in the air. "Fuckin' pathetic." And with a snarl of primal wrath, he backhanded the bomb, sending it flying away. The back of his hand smoked from the impact, the flesh having nearly burned off from merely touching the light, but it did not seem to bother him in the least as he took a small step back just before the bomb hit the shack in which he had directed it.

The small shack was blown to bits by the explosive force of the bomb, probably having increased in power by the kinetic energy Vincent had given it, and sent shrapnel of wood everywhere. Large pieces, small pieces, jagged pieces, flat pieces, they all seemed to just explode outwards toward both the closer form of the angel and the advancing form of Vincent, who seemed to ignore the pieces as they flew past him or he dodged them smoothly, using the side of his giant sword to block those he couldn't. Never stopping his advance, he flew towards the angel now on swift legs driven by fury and blood lust, his silver hair gleaming in the fading sunlight as it streamed out behind him.

[Yukina]

Yuki's attack failed, she was running out of energy fast and didn't know what to do. Nothing's going to work... he's too feral... He was coming at her fast, so she decided to use all she had left in one great big adrenaline burst. Yuki jumped up and extended her wings. She flew towards her enemy and held out her blade, Expecting to clash, when she got near, the mere collisional force of their blades sent her back, she remained in the air and drew her bow, pulling back and arrow. She yelled, "Judgement! Piercing Shot!" and the rune was drawn below his feet while the arrow went flying at her enemy.

Yuki immediately knew she didn't have the energy she needed to finish the fight so she immediately gathered some distance from her opponent and started charging what looked like an attack so strong it would wipe out both the user and the target. All she could hope was that this man was also at his limit. She was huffing and puffing and could hardly catch her breath, every breath burned her tired throat. She assumed an open leg stance with her hands together in front of her, knowing full well what she was about to do.

Flashback.
It was Yuki and the same boy who she was always with, Asch. That's... Asch?.. Oh yeah... we were... Friends... He was teaching her proper magical theory. She said "Well why can't I just use a pearl like... as big as that house!" And he grabbed the bridge of his nose, looked down, and sighed. "Because anything bigger than your upper mid section would kill you..." She went wide-eyed. "Oh," she said.
End Flashback
I know what i'm doing... I cant win this, but if he puts his all into an attack too... We may tie...

[Winterhair]

Okay. And bunny approved.

As Vincent's blade collided with hers, he put all his strength into his slash, pushing the angel into the air. He fought on complete instinct now--an instinct that told him to rip and tear, to bite and slash. Every movement he made was unguided by thought, uncorrupted by the process of doubt. His very blade held his intent to kill within it as he felt his bones screaming in agony, having over extended his own body several times in order to avoid or block the wooden shrapnel from the smoking remains of the cottage. The blast had seemed to miss the angel completely, the pieces of smoking wood flying around her and hissing as they hit the running stream and tore into the field of corn around them, the darkening sky a black highlight against the burning pieces. Vincent swore in pain as one more piece descended from the sky and slashed into his back, cutting him badly but not enough to stop his movements.

The angel took to the sky with a beat of her white wings, and immediately she fired off two consecutive spells. The first spell missed him completely, being too slow in its casting time, and he ran over it before it erupted into a pillar of light behind him, scorching the very grass and earth itself. The second she drew her bow and launched an arrow straight at the onrushing swordsman, and he didn't have enough time to dodge it before it embedded itself in his side, piercing his ribs. He coughed slightly at the impact and spat out a globule of blood, but otherwise he was unaffected as he did not slow down one bit.

However, what did cause him to slow was the angel's next movements, as she took an open-legged stance and put her hands in front of her, one palm over the back of the other hand. The air around the angel began to shimmer as he watched her pant heavily, the shimmering around her seem to coalesce at the center of her hands.

Her final attack. Vincent allowed a thought to enter his mind, and on instinct alone he grabbed his blade with his bloodied left hand, the saw-like edge ripping into the palm of his hand even more as he dragged it through his grip. He did this until the very length of the blade was coated in his own blood, dripping red in the fading light, and he extended his left hand out before him to the angel. "Let's go, bitch. Come, and show me what the hell your made of. Whether it be guts and gore, or some other shit I dunno, lets see 'em spill out!" He snarled in pleasure at the fear on her face, his canines biting gruesomely into his bottom lip and causing even more of the hot liquid to drip down his chin. And suddenly he clenched his left hand around the hilt of his blade, holding the huge sword before him with two hands.

The change was immediate. Vincent's left arm immediately started rippling as black veins, bulbous and burning, ripped their way up his arm, all the way up his shoulder and into the left side of his chest. The seemed to be reaching for something, clawing inside his body to search for some hidden power within. At last they stopped, but not until Vincent's entire body started shaking from the sheer agony this process must have caused. Suddenly the veins melted into his skin, becoming black tattoos along his left arm, and the black ring from which these veins had spawned from melted as well, becoming a single black line that encircled his left ring finger. The runes that had encircled the ring now engraved themselves into his flesh, the word Imora still burning red.

However, as soon as this change happened, one more did as well. The blood on Vincent's blade burst into a dark, purplish flame, seeming to be made more of shadow than of flame. And yet, Vincent could feel the heat of of this flame as it consumed his sword, wreathing it in the dark fire. His swirling, quicksilver eyes reflected the flame as they turned to the angel once more, a smile tearing across his face as his teeth gleamed ominously in the darkening sunset. Shaking with the pain but still managing to step forward as he felt his strength being drained from him, he clenched his sword with both hands, coating the hilt in blood as it sprayed from his palm and he lifted the flaming sword high above his head, ready to bring it crashing down at any moment.

[Yukina]

Yuki was terrified. He glowed with such an ominous power it sent a chill down her spine. Her mind was shaking uncontrolabley. Her heart screaming without a single sound. She saw his blade take on the form of a dark flame, but she didn't lose focus. She had to end this fight now. Whether in victory or loss, it didn't matter.

She held her hands before her, outstretched. Focusing.

Don't lose it.

And her eyes began to glow white. No, her eyes didn't roll back into her head. They simply GLOWED white.

Keep your mind focused.

Wind danced around her powerfully, concentrating itself before her hands.

Great power is about to collide... Keep charging

Her wings spread out as far as possible. And she radiated an aura of confidence and desperation.

All of a sudden a silver orb... Perhaps the size of an umbrella if it was opened and it was a total orb, it appeared before her. And she screamed as loud as possible. "Pearl!!!!!"
Upon releasing the attack, it flew at her enemy, leaving a trail of white looking like individual tails behind it. She immediately fell backwards and lost consciousness.

Please.............

[Winterhair]

Here it comes.
Here it comes.

Here it comes. Vincent thought back to the voices in his head, silently agreeing with them as the angel began glowing with intense light, her very form emanating with the holy energy she was gathering. He could tell by the sweat running down her body, the blood creating a dark stain on her leg, the ripped condition of her clothes and the way her wings drooped as she stood that she too was at the very end of strength. He gritted his teeth together as the wind began to howl around the two, the sun almost gone and leaving the two figures as glowing beacons in the near-blackness of the plains. The wheat swayed to and fro as the wind picked up speed, growing to a howl as clouds filled the black sky, thundering ominously.

Blood ran down Vincent's own body. The gash on his back bled furiously, the hot sticky liquid flowing down his legs, a river of red. His hand throbbed painfully, each pulse causing more blood to flow from the open wound the angel and himself had made. The thunder in the sky echoed the thunder in his body as he stood poised with his giant sword in the air, the blood from his hands dripping down his arms and into his hair and face, giving the swordsman the appearance of one who had taken a bath in the liquid.

Despite all this, he stood ready and prepared as the angel opened her wings to their full extent. He saw her grit her teeth, trying to hold back the power she was gathering a little longer, before her eyes opened wide and they too glowed with the power she held. Vincent took a step forward as he tried to move towards her, to cut her open with the blade of blood lust and flame he held, his silver eyes swirling maniacally as he grinned with the forces between them. "Fuck yeah..." Vincent screamed into the wind as a giant silver orb suddenly exploded in front of the angel's hands, causing the air around the two to howl even louder. "...now THAT's what I'm talkin' about! Its not just a sayin' for you and me, girl--this is the real deal!" His silver hair flew out behind him as he used whatever energy he had left to run forward with his flaming sword held up and to the side.

And then, she launched her attack.

The force behind her attack was so strong that the very wheat and corn moved out of its way before it, causing a ripple of power to follow the attack afterwards. The ball of light shot towards the swordsman at high speeds, high enough so he knew that the way he was now he wouldn't be able to avoid it. So he did the only thing he could, the only thing his instincts told him to do. He met the ball of light head on.

As it came near, he swung his sword with the last of his strength, screaming in vulgarian fury and blood rage as his muscles tore with the effort of the movement. The burning blade howled with the wind as it made its deadly descent, and his eyes burned with the flame as he glowed like a dark torch, the blood rising from his wounds and into the air momentarily. The kinetic energy behind his attack ripped open the newfound wound on his back even more and his life began to flow from it. Even as he swung, he could feel darkness coating his eyes, threatening to cover his mind and steal his consciousness away.

The two attacks, light and dark, met head on. A loud screaming noise erupted from the impact, loud enough to cause blood to flow from his ears and down his neck. The noise rose above any other sound, the howling and thunder of the winds and clouds seemingly minuscule compared to the sheer pitch of it. Off in the distance, in the village that the angel and Vincent had noticed, the villagers covered their ears and ran to see what in the nine hells what the noise was, pointing excitedly and talking in a foreign language as they saw the two figures of light and glowing darkness in combat.

Vincent's own skin was being pulled back at the clash of the twin kinetic forces, his mouth pulling back into an inhuman smile as he roared in pleasure and pain, enjoying the feel of his life blood flowing away as every bone and muscle in his body screamed as well. The flame of his blade flickered excitedly as it pushed into the light, ripping into it, devouring it. The Pearl attack suddenly caved in as his blade carved right into it, sparks like those of two clashing swords erupting from the effort and falling to the drying field below, setting a couple stalks of wheat and corn on fire.

This violent confrontation of wills seemed to last forever to the swordsman, although in truth it only lasted but around half a minute. And then, it ended. Violently, it ended. The kinetic force between the two attacks was too much, and as his dark, flaming blade cut straight through the attack, the energy exploded between them, sending Vincent flying a good fifteen to twenty feet before he landed and bounced, the sword (now extinguished of the dark burning flame and hissing as steam rose from it) flying out of his hands and landing somewhere far away. He lay there, unmoving, his life blood flowing from his flesh as he stared up into the stars.

Vincent...
...you did well.

And soon the darkness, both of the night and that within his mind, filled him, leaving the two warriors unmoving in the passing storm.

--------------------------------------------------

Time passed. Images filled Vincent mind as he slept. He did not know where he was; neither did he care. He was too tired to. He sat on a white bench of sorts, in a white room, completely naked. All his wounds were gone, all his scars. Any sign of any pain he had suffered during his life was completely erased, leaving him sitting there with his silver hair hanging in front of him.

Standing in front of him was a figure in all black. It seemed to be made of living shadow, the cloak around it never stopping in its movement around the skeletal figure. In its right hand it held a scythe, the edges of it chipped and broken, eroded with the curse of time. In its left it held a sword, sheathed within a black scabbard. The hilt was strange looking, a futuristic technology fusing together to form it with little designs decorating it, unknown to the swordsman's eye. The crosspiece was interesting too, twin metal pieces extending out and pointing diagonally to the sheathed blade. The scabbard itself was metal, made out of the same strange technology that the hilt was formed from, and was about three and a half feet long.

For several minutes it seemed, the two figures stared at each other, Death's skeletal face peering down at Vincent's smooth, uncaring one. The being before the swordsman broke first.

I Can’t Take You.

“I know that.” Vincent replied softly. “Those damn Citadel monks, eh?’

Indeed.

Another few silent moments passed. Still the two figures were completely unmoving, as if one lift of a finger would cause this fragile world to shatter. Vincent’s lips parted, and he broke the silence this time. “So tell me then. What’re you here for, if not me?”

There was hesitation in Death’s stance, a hesitation that became known as it spoke, its voice hollow but strangely masculine. It’s Up To You To Decide That, Vincent Winterscar. I’m Only The Messenger, It Seems. Even stranger was the note of bitterness that Vincent picked up from the being, and he looked up in surprise as Death held out the odd blade it
had been holding in its left skeletal hand.

Vincent blinked as the hand opened and the blade dropped noiselessly into his own hands. “What the…” he murmured as his hands closed over the smooth ebony sheath and hilt. “What is this?”

Death said nothing as it watched the swordsman slowly unsheathed the blade. Like the handle and sheath, it’s design was strangely futuristic, the bottom of the sword having a half moon symbol engraved into it. Three thin rectangular holes in the blade lined the base of it along the safe side of the katana, seemingly there for no purpose other than design, and on the deadly edged side of the base it was a bit serrated, until the blade was drawn out further to reveal a thin, smooth edge that gleamed in the unnatural light. In the cross piece of the blade was also four words engraved:

Fuer Grissa Ost Drauka.

Vincent sat for a bit, extending the blade unsheathed out before him in all its glory. The blade itself was about three and a half feet long, and the hilt was about three fourths of a foot. But all in all, it was a light weight sword compared the normal giant he used. “What the hell is this?” Vincent demanded of the still figure of Death.

Silence greeted Vincent’s question, and he was about to stand up and ask the question once more when the being spoke. It’s A Message.

“Who the hell from?”

From The Same One Who Gave You That. Death gestured to Vincent’s left hand. Vincent looked down, and saw to his astonishment that the obsidian ring was still there. The word Imora no longer burned red, but the ring was still warm, as if it had been taking out of a fire and left to cool.

Vincent looked back up to the skeletal face of Death. “Look, I dunno what this is all about, but all this crazy shit is starting to—“ He broke off as the figure started to turn away, the humongous black cloak of shadows swirling silently around it. “—Hey! I’m not finished!” He tried to stand up, but some oppressive force pushed him back down.

I Can’t Help You. The figure spoke as it started to walk away, growing fainter in Vincent’s slowly dimming vision. But I Guess I Can Give You Two Pieces Of Advice: One, Get Out Of Radasanth. What You’re Looking For Is Not There. Death stopped before looking over its shoulder, and Vincent nearly jumped out his skin at what he saw there. And Two: Don’t Come Back Here Ever Again. Your Mother Would Have A Fit.

Twin tears, red as blood and filled with sorrow, leaked from the eye sockets of Death’s face. That was the last Vincent saw before his vision completely dimmed and darkness once again replaced the light.

--------------------------------------------------------

“—scar!” A feminine voice said worriedly into his ear, and he felt his body shake. “Mr. Winterscar, wake up!”

He groaned as he sat up, trying to blink past the bright light slowly invading his vision once more. “Oh good, your awake.” The voice said, obviously relieved. “Go ahead you two, looks like he’s fine.” The shuffling of feet entered Vincent’s ears as well, and then there was the opening and shutting of a heavy door. Slowly he sat off to the side of the fluffy mattress he had been lying on, placing his naked feet on the smooth floor. He looked to the shape over to his right to see a female monk kneeling there, smiling at Vincent as he awoke. “Good Afternoon, Mr. Winterscar. I trust you had a pleasant battle?”

He stared blankly at her, unable to truly respond without becoming angry or confused at her casualness. The monk was different from the one that usually “served” him whenever he came; instead of a young girl that blushed and became flustered at his nudity, this one was slightly older with brunette hair and a look of serene wisdom upon her face. “Where’s the girl that I usually get?” He asked blatantly, ignoring the casual question the other had asked him.

The other monk blinked before smiling. “You mean Eliza? She’s off treating your opponent. She’s not used to handling big hulks like you, so we instead let her have time with someone more familiar to her age.” The woman stood up and brushed off her robe. “You’ll have to excuse her antics, if we can call them that, when you have come here before. Like I said, she is young.”

Vincent nodded, not really caring. He too stood, but stopped when he felt a weight in his left hand. He looked down in surprise and gasped: It was the blade that Death had given him, sheathed and ready to be drawn at any moment.

The female monk frowned. “What’s wrong?”

“Where did I get this?” Vincent demanded of her.

“You were holding it like that when we reached you.” The female monk moved to the door as a knock resounded from it. “Why? Is it not yours?” She opened the door, and a hooded monk handed her a set of Vincent’s clothes with his sheathed nodachi lying on top of them. “Thank you.” She quietly told the monk before shutting the door.

Vincent didn’t answer her right away. His thoughts were scattered and confused, each one dancing along the edges of his mind before he could grasp it. He stood there holding the weapon, staring at both it and the obsidian ring on his finger. “I guess it is.” He told her before silently setting the weapon down and taking the pile from the woman’s out stretched arms. “Is she awake yet?”

“Who?” The monk asked.

“The angel. Is she awake?” He slowly got dressed, pulling on his white gi pants before shouldering on the black coat and stepping into his sandals.

“No, she’s still being treated.” The monk started to move away from Vincent and towards the door. “Do you wish to deliver a message to her?”
Vincent thought about that. The angel had been his first real opponent at the Citadel, and his first real challenge. Never before had he have to give his all like that before, and very rarely was he ever defeated. Yet, the angel had managed to bring both conditions to play, even if did not agree or like the way she fought. “Yeah.” He told the monk after a couple moments. “Tell ‘er I’d like to cross blades with ‘er again sometime.”

“Very well.” The female monk bowed slightly as she left the room and Vincent. “That we shall do. We hope you visit the Citadel once again.”
As Vincent looked down to the black sword now lying next to his sheathed serrated nodachi, however, his last thought before he took both and left was: I don’t think I will be any time soon.

-----------------------------------------------------------------

As he got to his room in the Scarlet Lady, he was surprised to hear the sounds of blades clashing. Drawing his serrated sword he burst through the door, expecting to find burglars or someone raping Samantha. However, what was there was beyond anything he would have ever expected.

As he entered, Samantha and her clone stopped moving, staring at the still form of Vincent as he stood there, staring back. Samantha was completely naked still, but her body was covered in sweat and her hair dripped with the liquid as she panted heavily. Her clone, milk-white and as insubstantial as the mist from where it came from, was in the same condition. However, it managed to speak as it waved one hand, still holding a sword, at the swordsman. “Hey, would you look who it is? How was your fight, partner?” Its sexless voice echoed oddly throughout the room, but Vincent wasn’t paying attention to Skeith.

His eyes were focused on Samantha’s, which were totally different from her normal blue ones. Instead, they were a bright glowing yellow, with the irises being black. For a couple moments they stared into Vincent’s own silver ones, never blinking as Samantha panted heavily still. Then Vincent groaned and hung his head before just sitting down where he was, shutting the door and placing both of his blades off to the side. “I need a drink.” He moaned, reaching wearily into his traveling bag to take out one of his canteens of water and taking a swig before looking at it disgust. “God, I forgot that all I got is this crap. Do you two have any liquor?”

Samantha and Skeith looked at one another, and slowly the yellow began fading away and Samantha’s eyes began turning to normal. “Can you get some, Skeith? I have the feeling we’ll be here for a while.”

The mist clone chuckled before the swords in its hands evaporated into the air. “There’s the understatement of the year. I’ll be right back, you two.” And with that Skeith walked completely naked out the door.

Silence grew as Vincent sat still, his head hung over and his white hair covering his face. “Vincent—“ Samantha started before he held one calloused hand up to silence her.

“Stop. I’ve ‘ad too much weird shit happen to me today to be able to hear any more without a decent drink.” His voice was calm, but there was an undertone of panic and the threat of insanity. “So just stop.”

Samantha nodded before sitting in front of Vincent, setting her twin swords aside next to his. The two sat there silently, each lost within their own private thoughts. She slid her pale, smooth hands up his calloused, scarred ones and squeezed them tightly, but said nothing. The door burst open and Skeith came through, in each hand holding a bottle of fine liquor. “Now that I’m here, we can get this party started!” it crowed with the face of Samantha herself, sitting off to the side of the prostitute and the swordsman before offering each them a bottle. Vincent took his silently while Samantha murmured a thank you to the misty version of herself. “No problem.” Skeith glared over at the form of Vincent. “At least SHE’s appreciative.”

“Skeith, not now.” Samantha told her clone. “Could you go back to the scythe, please?”

It shrugged. “Whatever. I’ll be in there if you two need me.” And with that Skeith dissipated into mist once more, fading away into the scythe lying a few feet away.

Samantha turned to Vincent, who had been sitting and drinking greedily from his bottle, wiping his lips with the back of his hand before setting the bottle aside. “What do you want to ask me?” She murmured to him, still holding his hands, her own bottle long forgotten by her side.

His head snapped to her and his eyes were filled with a quiet calm that scared the prostitute a little. “What are you?”

She blinked and started to stammer, obviously not expecting his question to be so abrupt. “Well, I’m a—well, that is…I’m a…its kinda hard to explain…”

She’s a demon. Skeith’s sexless voice emanated from the scythe.

“Shuddup, you.” Vincent snapped at the weapon, veins popping out against his flesh as his fists clenched with the snarl he held in his voice.

Sure thing. Skeith snickered quietly, and both Vincent and Samantha glared at the scythe. Sorry. You two go ahead.

Vincent turned back to Samantha. “So…a demon.” Vincent nodded as he took a gulp from his bottle once again, caressing the drink with familiar hands. “How’d that work out?”

“You don’t seem all that surprised.” Samantha noted as she sighed and wrapped her arms around her knees, pressing them to her naked chest.

“At this point, you could say that the fucking world was gonna blow up and I wouldn’t be surprised.” Vincent said in retort, cracking his neck wearily. Samantha raised one thin, black eyebrow at him but otherwise said nothing. “But back ta’ the first thing: you’re a demon.”

Samantha hid her face with her legs, showing only her blue eyes as she looked away. “Well, kind of. I don’t really know.”

She’s definitely a demon.

“Shut up!” Vincent roared at the weapon as he stood up, picked the scythe up and stalked over to the open window, holding the blade high above the balcony where a small river lay below. “Or you can find some other place ta’ go!”

That’s not really a threat, but I’m good. Skeith’s voice snickered once more before it fell silent, and the swordsman looked at the weapon in disgust before tossing it to the bed.

“Stupid little…” Vincent muttered before returning to Samantha, who had rolled her eyes at Vincent’s antics. “Alright, well how the hell are you not then?”

She sighed once more before sitting cross-legged before him, leaning forward to prop her head on her hands. Her breasts, full and lush, hung gently, and Vincent felt the stirrings of lust gathering once more within him before he quelled it down with the anger his liquor had caused. “Well, my mother was a succubus from Haidia.” She began, pushing back a lock of black hair before continuing. “I know this because she raised me the first fifteen years of my life or so. But she never told me who my father was, not even once, even though I must have asked like what, a million times?” Her voice held bitterness and anger as she clenched her right fist. “I’m only guessing this, but I think my father was human. After all, why do I look human?”

Vincent nodded. Even with the hazy effects of the drink threatening to cloud his judgment, the assumption made sense to him. He had not known many demons during his life; he had met one demon, a giant of a warrior, and had fought alongside him during an ambush. He had also met another in a tavern, another silver haired warrior like himself who was searching for the meaning of humanity he said. But to tell the truth, demons were a mystery to the swordsman. Stories and legends told them to be monsters, brutal beasts that tore through flesh and ate the hearts of stillborn babies, but all that he had met so far were simple wanderers without a place to call home. Like himself. “So…you’re a half demon?” he muttered, and had another swig.

“That’s what I’m thinking.” Samantha whispered, and looked out behind her to the setting sun on Radasanth. “I don’t know, Vincent. I’ve lived here at the Scarlet Lady for forty years now, and not once have I gone out to try and find my father.”

Forty years? Vincent blinked. “Wait, just how old are ya?” He sputtered.

Samantha looked at him and rolled her eyes. “I’m around fifty five years old, Vincent. Yes, I know, I don’t look it.” She looked down at her figure and sighed. “It must be the demon blood in me that has slowed my aging down so much.” She looked to Vincent and raised another eyebrow. “Well, how old are you?”

Vincent’s mouth quirked up. Boy, would she be surprised. “I’m fifty two years old myself.”

Now it was her turn to blink. “Wait—fifty two?” A scowl made her way onto her face. “You are not. Quit playing games with me, Vincent. How old are you?”

“Like I said, I’m fifty two, and I’ll be fifty three come this winter.” Vincent shook his head at the explosion of words that was about to come out of Samantha’s mouth. “Yeah, I know. I’m too old to be human, either.” He raised his left hand to show the ring on his finger and clenched his fist tight. He reacted now on instinct, letting the feeling drive through him as he spoke through sheer adrenaline. “Devour.”

Immediately, the word Imora on the ring started burning once more and Samantha gasped and took a step back as the black, bulbous veins from earlier shot from the ring and into his skin, ripping open his flesh momentarily before the black veins flew up his arm and into his shoulder. He gasped at the pain but otherwise made no other noise as the veins rippled like tentacles under his flesh. Painfully, he held his arm out before him and showed Samantha as the veins slowly melted with the ring until they became thick black tattoos in his skin. His teeth grinding together, he spoke in guttural tones to the prostitute, who was staring wide-eyed at the arm. “Seems I’m not truly human either.” He gasped as he released his fist, and the tattoos immediately became thrashing black veins once more, sliding into the reformed ring until the only trace of the fact that anything had happened was the slightly glowing word Imora. Vincent gasped in relief and immediately collapsed to the floor, gasping for breath.

Samantha moved to him quickly, putting an arm around him as he panted heavily, sweat pouring down his face. “I guess not.” She muttered into his ear as she helped him up with surprising strength for someone of her size, helping him move to the bed. “Now it’s my turn to ask; what are you?”

The swordsman lied down on the bed, his arms up above his head as he considered that question, his silver eyes staring at the ceiling. “I don’t know. I never knew my mother: I’m told she died in combat, and my father died sometime while she was pregnant. But hell…I was just raised by two fucking swordsmen, so I don’t really give a damn.” Vincent looked down at his left arm, which still throbbed painfully from the effort of summoning the mysterious veins. “If whatever the hell I am helps me kill the bastard Dan Lagh'ratham, then I’d gladly pay the price.”

Samantha’s head shot to Vincent and blue eyes widened. “Dan Lagh’ratham? You mean the demon, Lagh’ratham Mountainslayer?”

Vincent nodded, a silver eyebrow cocking curiously. “You’ve heard of him?”

Samantha snorted. “There isn’t a demon in all of Haidia that hasn’t heard of the monster that is called Dan Lagh’ratham. I first heard the name when I was but a little girl, and overheard my mother boasting to her friends that she had slept with the demon and known him personally.” Glancing over at Vincent’s taut form, she asked; “What’s your gripe with him?”

Vincent smiled, his canine-like teeth a pearly white in the fading sunlight. “Gripe? I don’t have one with him. But I fought him once, a long time ago—and I know from that experience that he is God.”

If Samantha’s eyebrow could have risen any higher at that moment it would have ripped her face off. “God? She murmured, and a chuckle erupted from her mouth until it became a laugh, loud and clear in the silence of the room. Skeith snickered a little as well, and Vincent looked between the two in mild confusion and anger. “What?” He demanded of the two of them.

“…It’s just funny…” Samantha said, wiping her eyes to rub away the tears that threatened to come with the laughter. “…that you would think a demon a god.” She let her laughter come to a halt as she sighed. “But it’s your beliefs, and I won’t argue. So why do you want to kill him if he’s God?”

Vincent’s smile returned, and this time it sent shivers down Samantha’s spine at the look it brought into his eyes. “I want to kill him and become God myself.”

A lofty goal. I like it. Skeith said without any trace of sarcasm. But you’re not strong enough at this point to, y’know. Not even with that arm of yours. Samantha nodded in agreement.

“I know that.” Vincent’s voice held only a little irritation now. “Which is why I need to get stronger.” He moved to his feet now, walking over to his newfound sword and his old serrated one, picking them up slowly. “And also why I need to get out of here.”

“You’re going to leave?” Samantha murmured as she too stood and picked up her weapons, sliding them into their sheaths a few feet away.

“Yeah.” Vincent looked at her as the sunlight faded, and watched the outline of the light on her body. Every curve on her was illuminated, enveloping the luscious form in the burning orb as she turned around to look at him. He recounted the countless times they had had sex, the memories that they had shared, and the conversations they had made. And as each image flew through his head, he felt them fly to another part of his body: His heart.

All his life he had wandered alone, never staying in one place for too long, never growing attached to any one thing except for his blade. He thought he had become heartless, a wandering barbarian with no place to call home, living with only his own instincts and the thoughts. But as he gazed upon Samantha, her wet, red lips tempting to taste and her black hair a shadow of softness, he wondered what it would be like to have a companion.

Ask her, you fool. Vincent heard Skeith say, but not out loud. Instead, the voice echoed inside his own head, and moved his lips as Samantha’s moved at the same time.

“Would you like to come with me?” “Could I come with you?”

They stared at each other as they spoke at the same time, their questions answering one another. Without another moment, Vincent stepped forward and wrapped his arms around Samantha’s waist, his head bending down to capture her lips with his as his silver hair fell forward. Her arms flew up and wrapped around his neck, pulling him down even harder against her kiss as she stood on her tip toes, pressing her soft body against his rock hard one. When their kiss finally broke, Vincent smiled down like a predator that had captured its meal, but to his surprise Samantha had the same smile upon her own face.

“How soon can you be ready to leave?” Vincent said asked her.

“Just let me put some clothes on, and we could go right now if you’d like.”

He stole a glance out the window as he felt his body reacting to the feel of Samantha’s curves pressing against him. “How 'bout we stay one more night? Then we can leave.”

Samantha moaned in pleasure as she rubbed herself against his body and the feel of Vincent pressing up against her. “Mmmmm, I’ll go with that.” She whispered before pulling him down for another kiss. “And guess what…for you, I’m free of charge.”

He chuckled before picking her up and bringing her to the bed, yanking off his pants and coat as pinned her wrists down and bit into her throat, causing a loud moan to awaken from her throat. “Sounds like a deal ta’ me. “

Skeith chuckled silently as night fell upon the two lovers, encasing their bodies in moonlight. It didn’t know what fate awaited it, but it did know what it would encounter: Power. And all three of them, Vincent, Samantha, and Skeith, liked power.

End post. Spoils Requested: Okay, yes there are a bit.

Vorpal Fang--Vincent summons dark fire out of his own blood to coat his sword, increasing the attack power, sharpness and weapon strength momentarily. The strength is such that it can slice through steel or weaker metals at this time. There are a couple conditions with this technique, however. A) Vincent can perform it but once a day at this time, as the ability is so draining that even once is dangerous to his health. B) If used with any other weapon other than Devourer (see second spoil) or another sword of sharpness, such as weapons made of adamantium or those with such enchantments, the quality of the weapon is degraded with each time. I.E. Vincent uses it with a masterwork prevalida sword, the quality of the blade is downgraded to excellent, and so on and so forth. If he tries using it when the quality of the blade is at Awful, the blade will immediately break from the stress and the technique will fail. C) The "flame" of the blade is limited to Vincent's blood only. Thus, he cannot, for example, light grass of fire by touching his burning blade to it. It would first have to be covered it his blood to burn. Vincent's blood, and only his blood, is the catalyst for the technique to work. However, he could, for example, spill his own blood on wooden table and use that to light it on fire, consuming it. But at this point, his blood is the only thing that will cause burning. And finally, D) In order to cut through items of steel strength, Vincent would have to put his whole entire effort and being into the attack, such as when he went head-to-head with Yukina's Pearl attack. This leaves him open MAJORLY. Items of iron and lower quality are easier to cut through, but they too require concentration, and simple things like wood and and flesh and bone are like butter to the technique.

Devourer--A futuristic katana given to Vincent by Death Itself, its hilt and sheath are of unknown metal and design but are approximately the strength of steel each. The blade itself, upon later examination however, seems to exhibit the same strength and properties of _______* of masterwork quality. Even though it would still be a large blade to some others, its total of four and a quarter feet in length makes this blade a light weight weapon to a giant like Vincent. Its edge, mysteriously, never dulls. The only weapon that Vincent knows of that can perform Vorpal Fang without downgrading in quality. This weapon cannot be sold.

Samantha--"Familiar". Must be agreed on by opposing player if she is to be used in conjunction to Vincent in a duel. Will post her stats in Character Updates when Vincent is Updated.

A couple other things--
1. Please downgrade the quality of Vincent's serrated nodachi to below average quality.
2. Vincent's Obsidian Ring now cannot be removed from his finger, short of cutting it off.
3. I know these are rather large spoils, so I'm willing to sacrifice my gold award for these instead, if need be. Its just they are rather important to Vincent's character.

*The strength of the metal is up to the Judge to decide.

[Yukina]

Yuki felt hazy, she couldn't open her eyes, so she just reminisced for a while. She remembered fainting from the last attack she conjured and having some sort of dream. In her dream, after her attack and she fell, that man she was fighting charged her attack and went straight through it... getting maimed in the process. His wounded body landing beside her. He had landed beside her and she opened her eyes barely. She turned her head slightly to the left and looked at his pale dead looking face and took his hand... before finally passing out.

At least, that's how her dream went. She remembered a scene from her past too, because her tired body wasn't too prepared to get up. She remembered being back at her school. When they were doing sparring, practicing physical and magical techniques. Back then she was a profound fire casting specialist...
I wonder why I stopped using fire techniques... She watched herself, she was fighting a girl with long black hair, she had a blue robe that split into pant legs below her waist. Looking into this girl she felt she knew her, and that's when the Yuki in her past spoke, "Illiena! Good luck!" The girl smirked and called back to her, "You too! ... Kurenai Blaze!" Yuki chuckled at this. Kurenai Blaze was her nickname, it's what all the other students would call her... It meant something along the lines of "Death-Scar Blaze" She didn't completely love the name, but she earned it fair and square.

They called her Kurenai Blaze because whenever she'd fight monsters, demons, bandits, and the like, she'd use fire techniques that would leave what could be measured as a fifth degree burn... A deathly fire power she practiced, she used it to protect her friends. While sparring with Illiena she accidentally gathered too much fire mana in one place and released a level 8 fire spell on Illiena. In the magic system there were 8 distinct elements of attack magic, water, fire, earth, wind, lightning, light, darkness, and energy.
In these 8 fields there were ten levels of magic. When using a spell of a level from a certain element, it attracts mana of the same element like a magnet. She used so much fire magic in their duel that it gathered an immeasurable amount of fire mana that her next attack did horrible things to Illiena.

The next day she went to visit her best friend in the hospital but... she was comatose, and wasn't making a recovery. After learning first hand the things Yuki's fire spells did to her enemies... she vowed never to use those powers again, and discarded her powers over fire and nickname Yuki "Kurenai Blaze" Mashimoto. And after this memory, she came back to the real world, opening her eyes.

Yuki sat straight up and rubbed her eyes. She was wearing a white little one-piece dress. A little too short for her tastes, personally, but at least her wounds were healed. The power to destroy... Kurenai Blaze... Huh... she looked around, but oddly enough, she sensed nothing. She was in a completely white room with a simple lamp overhead beaming a white light. She looked around but was too tired to get up. Her clothes and personal possessions were leaning against a wall to her left. She drew her wings but there was something different to them. They weren't the normal feathery wings they always were. There was something different. They were made of fragments of light shaped like skinny rhombuses all put together liek pieces of a puzzle, extending about as large as her arm from her torso on each side of her back in total.

When i remembered a key part of myself... a life changing moment... my wings changed... wait a second!

She remembered her parents, her memory was vague but what she did remember was her parents had wings just like this, wings of light... a golden light... Her mother always told her that when a girl matured and found herself again, becoming more wise, her wings changed. The same for boys as well.

She smiled, and kept her wings out. It made her feel free and like her body wasn't one giant restriction. There was a knock at the door, she went to answer it. There was nobody there. Only a rolled up scroll on the ground. She picked it up and looked left and right. She walked it back over to her bed and slowly unfolded it. Giving it an unorthodox look. It was Angellus, the native language of the angels. But there was a line she understood. She read it aloud because it felt proper.

"Ahk'a Maziller'ha Mak'nahn"

The strange letter flew off the paper, disappearing, and swirled around her, invoking a powerful gust of wind. A sentence flashed into her mind. I've sent you your birthright. Decipher it. Learn it. Master it. Make us proud, sweetey." She thought it was her mother but didnt remember her mom's voice, so couldn't be sure.

She sat back down onto the edge of the bed and sighed. Remembering her powers. I used to be so strong... but when i discarded my abilities... Was that really so selfish?... She somewhat missed her old reputation and godly truly angelic powers. She could never forgive herself for what she did, and embracing her powers again would contradict her resolve for her friend. But maybe, this was what she needed to help enough people to try to make up for it...

She tried to remember her old magic, but was interrupted by a "Shing!" type of sound, the typical stereotype of a sword being released from it's casing. She looked over to see the Grimoire of Light was glowing. "It's... wait a second... that spell i just recited..." She went over to it and opened it to the final page. Reading the top line. "The Final Summon." She read the top line, which meant what she recently said in angellus."Ahk'a Maziller'ha Mak'nahn" or otherwise, "By the light of the goddess Naralia."

She remembered something Asch told her, "There's a book of incredible summons, it's called the Libram of Lughe, or The Grimoire of Light. In it theres a spell to summon the great avatar of holiness. It's some sort of incredible beast! The last line is only translatable by a scroll that the royal family possesses, hey, weren't your parents royalty? ... Anyway, the page is translated line by line, i believe there's ten lines... It takes forever to decipher though!"

Yuki muttered just now, "So this is it..." She hoped to be able to read off the rest of the scroll soon, to decipher the final summon, but with nine more lines to go... It'll take a while. But she went back to trying to learn one of her old techniques... She spent at least an hour in that small room. Practicing her magic... Until she remembered a spell.

"Flame Ring..." She felt bad trying to regain her old powers, but she thought that it'd be the only way to be strong enough to try to fix her world.

Yuki donned her clothing and weapons. She made sure to be thoroughly prepared for what was next to come. "I have a long road ahead!" On her way out a monk stopped her. He handed her a small pouch of money, he said, "This is a consolation bit for your tie." Yuki nodded awkwardly, "But I lost..." She said, he looked back at her, "Oh, it's not from the monks, it's from some robed skinny woman who was carrying a scroll, I couldn't see her face." Yuki slowly gave a small smile and took the money.She didn't care where she was going next, she just wanted to be stronger. Strong enough to right all the wrongs of her past... She went right out the front door and took one small step by small step, onto her next adventure.

I know I can get stronger...

She looked around a bit until she found an inn to stay at, hoping to return herself to the citadel soon.


Spoils! - anything the judge would like to give ^ ^
Also a new spell -
Flame Ring - Conjured five thriving fires a little bigger than candle flames around herself in a ring and then can be shot at her target like projectiles, if all are not used within 10 seconds, the remainder will fade. The size of the flames will get bigger as she gets stronger, their about as painful as a first degree burn... that's the weakest, right? :B Her aim with this spell however is at about slightly below average, average at best.
Also an item, "Scroll of the Final Summon." As she finds more and more pieces of literary work from her homeworld, and remembers a lot more of her past, it very SLOWLY will get decoded, line by line, there's nine left. Once they're all decoded she can call the final summon, the same restrictions apply to it as her other summoned creatures, details on it will be posted on a character update once she hits probably 3 or 4 in level.

[Ataraxis]

Quest Judging
Cool! Riceballs! ;p


This is the second judgment you two shall receive, so I’ll focus less on the basics and more on the good stuff. I took a long time with the notes, so I’ll try and make the judgment itself shorter. But heck, I shouldn’t even bother, since I know how that’ll turn out. Oh well!

Red is Winterhair, Blue is Yukina!

STORY

Continuity ~

6.5/10. You did very well here. The set-up in the introduction didn’t exactly tell why he wanted to get strong in the Citadel, but I knew it was on purpose so that you could reveal he wanted to kill Dan Lagh’ratham at the end. I didn’t really know where Samantha came from, though I discarded her as not too important when you said she was a prostitute, but then I was intrigued again when she took out swords under the bed and talked to the scythe. Basically, that really confused me, and I didn’t get an explanation until the end. In fact, I actually still don’t know where Skeith came from. Still, I think you wrapped things up very nicely, though the big reveals at the end may have come off as slightly forced. Basically, it was a barrage of background info, but it’s still good. Now, I also have a clear understanding of what Vincent’s going to do in the future. I took off a .5 because I simply don’t understand where the voices came from.

4.5/10. It’s better than last time, that’s for sure. Only, you started by forgetting to mention which city this was happening in. Of course, it’s Radasanth in Corone, but not all battles in the Citadel Sub-forum actually happen in the Citadel. In any case, as obvious as it might have been, you should always remember to include the basic information about where Yukina is in your first post, just so that people can better situate her. Aside from that, I did get a better feel of why she was in the Citadel, though I was a bit confused about that arm thing. If she got it in a Citadel fight, wouldn’t it have healed already? In any case, I lacked information about that wound. Lastly, the flashbacks and the last post were very heavy in information, but not so well-organized. It felt as if you invented her background on the spot, mentioning her past as a fire user in the very last post only. It felt more like an ‘Oh, by the way’ than anything else. It was also the first time I heard about her home actually being in danger, too. My advice to you is to select the important parts of her background, that is, the basics (snippets about her origins, what she’s been doing for a while, what she’s going to do) then the more specific parts (like how she used to wield fire). This could have worked better if she’d had a minor flashback of the time she gravely wounded a friend with fire when Vincent’s blade burst into purple flame, or if you just showed the flames madder her remember something painful to her.

Setting ~

5.5/10. You paid attention to the setting a lot more this time around. It was more consistent, and I always could visualise something going on in the background. You had interesting descriptions, but they were mostly focused on the sun and the river. There wasn’t much of any interaction with it yet, as you two basically fought with swords on a well-defined arena this time rather than a blank slate. There were times when the action tied into the setting however, like when you desbribed the sun’s gleam on the colliding blades or when the night fell at the same time he fell unconscious. It’s not that much, but it’s still something.

4/10. You still skimp a little when it comes to the setting, but you definitely did take my advice into including more, and I thank you for that. When I judge the same writer’s threads after a decent wait in between and they still do the same mistakes, it’s usually a big downer, but you made my day. Here are my suggestions to get even more, next time: when you write a post, imagine the world around through Yuki’s senses.

Focus first on the eyes: you don’t just see a sky, the sun and wheat fields, do you? You see clouds, perhaps birds flying (though they may be illusions, I don’t see why not: plus, Winterhair described villagers looking down on the battle, so), the wind sending ripples through the swaying field. Then imagine what it all smells like, the purity of the air and the fresh, crispy aroma of wheat. I’m not saying you should describe everything in depth, but try to share with the reader what you’re able to see through Yuki’s eyes. Make the descriptions feel alive. You also don’t need to write long paragraphs dedicated to the setting, but always remember to include a few good references to it in each of your posts.

Pacing ~


6/10. This is an average. At some points you had 7-8 pacing, at others you had 4-5. This is mostly due to the fact that you basically told two stories here that were tenuously linked by Vincent’s ring. I think you knew this too, or you wouldn’t have written that super-long last post to make up for the lacking feeling of the battle itself. I’m not saying it was boring, far from it, but in terms of development and content, it wasn’t stellar. Feeling that it was incomplete, you told another story at the end, condensed to the point that it could have been a whole story on its own. This helped you and hurt you. The writing in that last post was very good, but it was extremely long. Luckily I didn’t feel like I was fording through it, but still. On the flipside, it was enjoyable and written in a light way that didn’t sacrifice accuracy and content. In any case, you improved here a lot in some places, but lagged behind during the battle, especially with the introduction of the voices which still seem random to me.

4.5/10. You actually would’ve gotten 5 if not for the last post. It was organized very hectically, and seemed like a rather clumsy wrap-up to a fight I found was pretty adequate this time around. Your writing has gotten very interesting, and you’ve clearly grown away from the Gaia writing. It was fun to read, since you wrote more accurate descriptions, gave Yuki a much more natural feel as a character and managed some nice imagery here and there. Better writing naturally leads to better pacing, but you also managed to add in a fair bit of tension and intrigue with the flashbacks. At the same time, though, writing FLASHBACK/END FLASHBACK hurt you, because that’s just not pleasing to the eye. I said a lot about that in the notes, so you can go look. Otherwise, I think you’re already capable of getting a 6 if you can manage to organize your writing a bit better, so keep it up!

CHARACTER

Dialogue ~

7/10. Ah, this was nice. You’ve clearly cast off the Zaraki costume, because I felt Vincent gave a clear sense of uniqueness when he spoke. He might not be the only character to speak like that in the whole wide world, but he’s himself nonetheless, and I can’t currently associate his lines to any person in popular culture. He also had a good deal of memorable lines, like this one:


"I try to give you mercy..."
Vincent's voice escaped his lips, a frightening combination of man and beast. "...and you shove it back in my face. And here I thought angels were supposed ta' be honorable."

At times he came off as a little bit cliché, but I frankly think you did well even with that. Samantha was also an interesting character, a bit remote compared to Vincent but still solid. And what would the world do without the annoying sub-human who just won’t shut up? I enjoyed Skeith.

5/10. Yuki is a lot more believable now. She still has a bit of a habit of taunting the opponent, but she’s not as cliché when doing so. I never questioned her dialogue this time around, and I can frankly say it wasn’t two-dimensional. I was a bit disappointed that she didn’t have a stronger reaction to seeing Vincent again, but the reticent ‘Nice to see you too’ did reveal an interesting side of her personality. She still has ways to go, and her lines weren’t as memorable as I would have wished (and that mostly includes her internal dialogue, which were much too numerous and didn’t bring that much to the story). It’s good that she doesn’t talk too much in a battle, though, but when you go around question, be sure to put additional effort into having her interact with PCs and NPCs. Moreover, I chuckled at her reply after Asch explained to her why a house-sized Pearl wouldn’t work. Basically, I think she’s supposed to talk a bit like a bubbly girl with a fair amount of witty sarcasm. If I’m right, then work toward making that more obvious, and if I’m wrong, work toward making her real personality clearer. Still, I think I’m right. Yep.

Action ~

6.5/10. What can I say? There’s some clear improvement here, and Vincent’s much less of a mindless battle-crazed warrior now than he is a mindless battle-crazed warrior with a heart. Tacky, I know. In any case, he acted characteristically, was bloodthirsty but still honorable. The voices influencing him were a bit weird, but that didn’t detract from the action so much. The part where he activated the ring actually had me on the edge of my seat, too (that also went toward your Pacing score). Most of the decisive action was in your last post, though. So much happened, but you kept it together so that it would make sense. The end with Samantha was particularly touching, showing the reader firsthand another side of Vincent. And then there was the sex, of course.

Note, you played Vincent as much too strong this time, mostly due to this new arm of yours. I know it’s an important part of his character, but you should tone that down a bit until you get to level 1 or 2.

4.75/10. You would’ve gotten a bit more, if not for the slight powergaming. It’s a lot, lot tamer than it was in the first fight, don’t get me wrong, but it’s still there. I don’t think she should be capable of casting two spells at the same time, being level 0 and all, and especially not after being thrown back by a sword. There’s a big section about that in my notes, so do look when you’re done reading the judging! And there’s nothing that says you can charge Pearls in your profile, though I’m a bit more understanding since doing so knocked her out. Still, when you level, I suggest that you add that little piece of information. Also, about the summons you’re getting, do the same thing at your level update, because you can basically take out any type of creature that fits the situation. I’m thankful that this time you decided to limit the summon’s power, though a hole the size of a door still makes me a bit iffy. These things set aside, Yuki’s actions made much more sense this time around. After you deal with the inconsistencies of your profile, you should aim to give Yuki some behavioral characteristics, too. As an example, if your character was an avid bibliophile, carrying around books in a duffel bag and reading them anytime, anywhere would help the action, as it defines her character. I had a scientist-type character with a severe addiction to caffeine, and his twitching and spastic eyes also worked toward this. It doesn’t have to be anything extravagant, just little details that tell a bit more about your character.

I’ve already said it, but you play Yuki as much too strong for a level 0. I’ve seen strong level 2s that wouldn,t be able of an attack as strong as Yuki’s last Pearl, so that says a lot. Mostly, level 0s can throw around 2-3 fireballs a little bigger than their joint fists before getting tired. You toned Yuki down a lot since last time, but try just a bit more and you’ll be fine.

Persona ~

6.25/10. I think I told pretty much everything I needed to say in the previous two categories. You get less here because the personality was mostly expressed through words and actions, while I consider that the Persona category relies on what is expressed through the introspection of the narrative. It was a bit vague during the battle, but it was good in your conclusion.

4.75/10. I could get a lot more from her than I did in your last battle, that’s for sure. It was still somewhat lacking at places, but I there was enough to get me slightly attached to her. When you’re writing the narrative, try to describe how she feels in front of a certain situation a bit more often. Persona is about emotions, how well you convey them and how believable they are to the reader. I noticed that most of your internal dialogue (Yuki’s thoughts) could have been converted into the narrative. For example, post 13 had a lot of those, which weren’t exactly vivid on their own. Considering it was her final move, I would have expected to read about her anxiety, her fear that the spell might fail, or how she brushes all that away due to her unwavering resolve. Saying things like “And she radiated an aura of confidence and desperation” isn’t enough. Tell us why she’s so confident, and how she could possibly match that confidence with desperation as well.

WRITING STYLE

Technique ~

5.75/10. I’ll keep it short here, since you already know how it is from the last judging. You’ve clearly improved, since you put effort into writing a lot more metaphors and the like. It made your writing even more vibrant. Still, be careful about writing too much in a paragraph, as you have a tendency to go overboard. I’m actually not referring to the last post in particular, but to the huge blocks of text all throughout the battle. This is still a battle, and it should keep a fast pace. Last time, your posts were too short, this time, some parts were just right and others were slightly too long. I think now you’ll easily find the happy medium.

3.75/10. Last time I said you didn’t have a defined style, but I’m glad to say that now you do. It felt a lot more natural, you didn’t just pull spells out of nowhere but actually went through the trouble to thoroughly describe a number of them. I still think she casts Pearl and Judgment far too quick and without enough buildup. Refer to your description of the final Pearl, and how much attention you gave to its charging up. If you could do half of that for your normal Pearls, it’d look less, pardon the comparison, to a Pokemon battle where all you need is to call out attack names. You also got docked a few points because of the FLASHBACK/END FLASHBACK dealio, and because of the big last post bedlam. Level 8 fire spell? The 8 elements, ten levels magic system? It’s too much like the system of a console RPG game and reading that made me disconnect. This is just an esthetic suggestion, but you should replace the level system by something like Neophyte/Novice/Something/Master system, or anything better you can think of.

Mechanics ~

5/10. Even without that huge post, you made more mistakes than in the last round, and this battle had fewer posts! In any case, see the annexed notes.

4/10. I’m a little surprised you did more mistakes than in the last battle. Always re-read and spellcheck! See the annexed notes.

Clarity ~

7.5/10. You did pretty well for the majority of the battle, but some parts left me wondering a lot, such as the introduction of the voices, where the scythe/Skeith came from, hints to why Death has anything to do with Vincent.

7/10. Your posts had a lot more flesh to them this time, and as such it was easier to understand what was going on. The flashbacks were okay for the most part, but the last one was a bit exaggerated and the slew of information you included in your conclusion wasn’t very successfully delivered, and made things harder to comprehend, but otherwise your writing was pretty clear.

MISCELLANEOUS

Wild Card ~

5.5/10. Much better than last time. Had there been more meat to the battle before Vincent used his transforming arm, or quality similar to that of the last post, then you would’ve gotten higher, but this is still a pretty good score.

4.75/10.You’ve clearly improved, and I think you did in an awfully short time. I gave you a .5 boost just for that. Keep it up, and you’ll be at the top in no time!


TOTAL ~

61.5/100.

47/100.

Winterhair wins!


EXP Rewards

Vincent Winterscar gains: 500 XP!

Yuki Mashimoto gains: 180 XP!

GP Rewards

Vincent Winterscar gains: 50 GP!

Yuki Mashimoto gains: 150 GP!

Other Rewards

Vincent Winterscar gains: Vorpal Fang! If you are to break someone's item using this, you must have their expressed approval. As for his flammable blood, if it falls directly onto an enemy's skin or hair, it will only burst momentarily for minor damage before vanishing in a puff. Clothing however, may catch on fire for effect over time.

Vincent Winterscar also gains: Devourer! It is of a masterwork metal slightly stronger than steel, like Plynt ( but without the flammable quality). It never dulls, but can be broken if Vincent is not careful. Cannot be sold.

Vincent Winterscar also gains: the companionship of Samantha! as you said, you may only use her in battle if the opponent agrees.

Vincent Winterscar's serrated Nodachi is now of below average quality.

Vincent Winterscar can no longer remove the obsidian ring, short of cutting it off.

Final approval of all spoils depends entirely on the decision of the RoG mod upon your future level update. In the meantime, you may use them, but uf any abuse is seen, you will be warned.

Yuki Mashimoto gains: Flame Ring! only, she may only call upon 3 balls of fire instead of 5. Indeed, the weakest is first-degree. As a reference point, they hurt as much putting your finger over candle fire, and can cause at most a white plaque and minor pain at the point of injury.

Yuki Mashimoto also gains: Scroll of the Final Summon! Cannot be sold.

Final approval of both spoils depends entirely on the decision of the RoG mod upon your future level update. In the meantime, you may use them, but uf any abuse is seen, you will be warned.

FINAL NOTES

That’s improvement up the wazoo. I’m very impressed, and I look forward to the day when you both will be capable of dishing out JCs left and right! It’s just up to you guys to decide when that’s going to happen. Congratulations, and keep up the good work!




Odd-numbered posts are Yukina, Even numbered posts are Winterhair

tree who's branches (1) whose
photo she recieved from (1) received

Flashback. (1) Compare this with any book you’ve ever read. When there was a flashback, did the narrator ever announce it with a ‘Flashback’? The ‘remember, remember’ was more than enough to tell the reader what the next paragraphs would be about. At most, you could have inserted a ‘*****’ or a ‘::::::::’ or simply an additional spacing to announce the change. Some people put their flashbacks in italics, if they’re short. Don’t underestimate your reader’s ability to understand what you’re trying to do, though don’t overly rely on it and become lazy either.

Note: you say ‘this city’ and all, but don’t assume that because you’re making a citadel battle that it’s okay to ignore giving accurate descriptions of the place, including the name of the city – not because the reader wouldn’t know without, but because it makes your writing more complete, continuity-wise.

They were sitting below a tree watching clouds go by and angels fly through the sky, they were talking about something, but Yuki couldn't remember what, so it was all just lips moving. (1) Cut the sentence in two. Thus, period between ‘sky’ and the second ‘they’.

then lets (1) let’s

End Flashback. (1) see Flashback.
I think i need to get stronger... (1) Missing capitalization on the second I

She was in the middle of a field of wheat and to her right she saw a river flowing downstream, it was sunset and the water was shining. (1) Here’s an example of your habit to put two different ideas in the same sentence. After the comma, I’d expect you to expand on the your description of the river, something like ‘its surface shimmering play of light between the crimson sunset and the shadows of fleeting fish’. With that, you get a more accurate description of the river, on top of including a note about it being sunset. Basic rule of writing, “don’t tell, show”. Saying ‘it was the sunset’ only places the reader at a certain time and only tells them to imagine a generic sunset and work with that. To show a sunset would mean to describe how your setting is affected by it. What do wheat fields look like under a sunset? Refer to my above example of what a river looks like in those same conditions.

but still in eye sight. (1) eyesight

Yuki stood there, the wind passing her and her hair blowing in the wind, she drew her blade with her right hand and waited. (1) repeated word, wind. Also, it’s another example of a sentence containing two ideas that don’t complement each other. Watch the difference: “Yuki stood there, the wind passing her and her hair blowing in the wind. She drew her blade with her right hand and waited.” See, the comma needs to link together ideas that make sense linked together. Read it aloud, and you’ll realize that it sounds very awkward with the short pause provided by a comma. Don’t be afraid of making sentences shorter by using periods where periods are due.

Ring (2) Thrice in the same paragraph. ‘just a regular piece of jewelry’ for the second and ‘it’ for the third would have worked quite well.
Eying (2) eyeing
breeze and opened them, letting that breeze (2) r.w., breeze. Letting it would’ve been a-ok.
Letting (2) you used the same construction thrice in this paragraph. Dum-dee-dum-dee-da, letting this or that do this then that. Changing ‘letting’ for ‘allowing … to’ could’ve improved this a bit, but I generally would suggest that you play around with the construction bit more, finding different ways to introduce one of Vincent’s actions. You could go extra-simple and start with ‘His dum-dee did da-dum’. Just once in a while, a simple sentence among the complex and semi-complex is candy for the eyes.

as she was smaller than he (2) than him. Still, I know that using ‘he’ and ‘she’ makes it sound fancy.
thousands of better swordsman (2) swordsmen
through out (2) throughout
like a homing arrow (2) I know you wanted to write homing missile, but since missiles technically don’t exist on Althanas, you used arrow instead. The point is that a homing arrow doesn’t make much sense unless I’m aware of the existence of homing missiles. Arrow or speeding arrow or anything like that might’ve worked.

She held her sword ready, confused personally about whether to try to avoid the attack or block it, but before she had time to think, she found herself a few inches from a sword so she simply held her sword horizontally in front of her to parry the attack, but in her current state, the weapon coming at her was now just slowed and sparks of friction now flying between them. (3) That’s one sentence. It could be three or four sentences. I read it and it messes up my head. Now, look at this: “She held her sword at the ready, confused about whether to try to avoid the attack or block it; however, before she could make her choice, the angel found herself but inches away from the bite of a howling blade. Yuki instinctively held her sword in front of her, just in time to parry the strike horizontally. For an instant that felt eternal, the weapon coming at her seemed strangely sluggish and sparks of friction hung in limbo between the clashing blades.”

tip shining in the in the sun (4)
A snarl of rage was placed on it, exposing the incisors of his teeth, (4) placed on it feels heavy and awkward. A fragment would work well here, so just try ‘A snarl of rage, exposing’. I’d know you’re referring to his facial expression due to the build-up preceding it.

"How could I ever forget?" She responded. (5) Small note, you don’t need a capital when you write ‘she said’, ‘she answered’, ‘said the angel’, etc. Even if there is an exclamation point or a question mark, since it’s all enclosed within quotation marks, the dialogue is considered as a parenthetical element. In a nutshell, write: "How could I ever forget?" she responded. However, if it’s a period, don’t even write anything like she or She responded. A period would mean there’s no use for an interpolated clause. The norm, however, is to use a comma unless you really want a ‘?’ or a ‘!’. No suspension points (‘…’) with an interpolated clause, though.

And as quick as the wind itself, his blade was coming upon her again, she attempted to parry the attack, but when she reached for her blade, it was too late. (5) Only when you want to make a point should you start with ‘and’. Also, this is yet another example of when you fuse two ideas that don’t complement each other in one sentence. Try: “As quick as the wind itself, his blade came down on her again. She attempted to parry the attack, but when she reached for her blade, it was too late.”

The wind blowing her light colored golden hair gently and innocently past her face. (5) This is an incomplete sentence, and as far as I know, it wasn’t done on purpose. Even if it was, it didn’t work. Try: “the wind blew (…)”.
silver eyes widened as growled low (6) as he growled low
The waves of corn and and wheat (6) of corn and wheat

Note: How come the narrative itself was coded white? I figured you’d do that only for Vincent’s internal dialogue. In any case, I was never fond of colored texts to differentiate different speakers. It makes the writing lazier and look a bit amateurish. It’s a pet peeve, but I believe other judge’s would also agree on this.

She could almost see the fire eminating (7) emanating
hands accross her chest in an 'X' with the blade in her right hand (7) Across. Also, what you did is not exactly wrong, but ‘crossed her hands over her chest’ would’ve worked just as well without using a quoted letter as an image of reference. As a note, I’m still trying to figure out how to describe ‘V’ shaped things, live v-necks and flying-Vs. If you have anything, contact me by PM and I will get ya sum luvin! Just not the kind that would get me a sexual harassment suit. Moving on!

(…) the force of the collision sending her flying in the opposite direction, she did not stop until she hit a small shack (…) (7) Another example of two ideas that don’t complement each other in one sentence. I know I’m sounding like a broken record, but I really think taking care of this problem could substantially improve your writing. Here’s how I think it should read: “(…) the force of the collision sending her flying in the opposite direction. She did not stop until she hit a small shack (…)” Granted, you could also link the two sentences by writing ‘and she did not stop’, which sounds pretty good too. Still having a balance of simple and semi-complex sentences is also an important factor in making your writing interesting and easy to read, so choose accordingly!

It was an awkward standing and she stood uncomfortabley (7) I frankly don’t know what you meant by awkward standing. In any case, two forms of ‘stand’ in the same sentence does make it awkward. Also, uncomfortably.

He saw her bandaged left arm, but that still explain the fact that she hadn't even taken flight. (8) Explained. Also, a rather confusing sentence.

fly just out of his reach of his blade. (8) just out of the reach of his blade

(8) The first part of this post is backtracking, which cuts the flow of the battle. Doesn’t help that you actually copy-pasted her dialogue as well. A way to deal with this would be to react to her ‘Nice to see you too’ dialogue first, and then write about how his anger was getting in the way of her putting up a real fight and all. You could then refer to her shield breaking, not as an action occurring as you write about it, but as something he remembers in hindsight. I know that it can be difficult and following this advice to the letter wouldn’t work all the time, so when you reply to a post, just keep this in mind: “Am I continuing the story or am I retelling things from my character’s point of view until I catch up to the end of my partner’s previous post?” Obviously, continuing the story is the thing you should go for.

seeming to thin air (8) I think you went for ‘seemingly’
Listen to me...block him out and listen... (8) Just a note, always add a space after a suspension mark. Looks less cluttered that way. And suspension marks loose their effect when you put too many close together.
Your (8) You’re

Note : The conversation between the two voices seemed a bit tacky and insipid. The voices didn’t seem unique, and actually seemed to match perfectly with the stereotypical angel/devil representations of one’s conscience. There wasn’t much substance to it, nothing that revealed to me anything intriguing ( I know you implied a lot of things with it, such as the nature of the red voice, how long he’s been there, how long the blue voice has been there, what the red voice is doing to Vincent, but it all felt too convenient and strained), and the name-calling didn’t invite me to say ‘You tell it, strange person in Vincent’s head!’

your fightin', I don't even want to look at you right now. Your a pussy compared the angel (8) you’re, x 2. Compared to the angel
and sunset was nearly upon the two warriors (8) As I recall it, the sun was already setting in the first post. I figure you meant ‘night was nearly upon the two warriors’

limp BEHIND (9) Why the capitals?
(which actually moved rather slowly,) (9) try to steer clear of parentheses in your writing.

reaching inside to grab the obsidian ring inside. (10) inside, repeated word

Large pieces, small pieces, jagged pieces, flat pieces, they all seemed to just explode outwards toward both the closer form of the angel and the advancing form of Vincent, who seemed to ignore the pieces as they flew past him or he dodged them smoothly, using the side of his giant sword to block those he couldn't. (10) A long sentence. I think you can figure out how to make this sentence flow better and read clearer. A hint: you can contract a lot of information into shorter, clearer, more striking sentences.

out her blade, Expecting (11) expecting
(…) blade, Expecting to clash, when she got near, the mere collisional force of their blades sent her back, she remained in the air and drew her bow, pulling back and arrow. (11) I think by now, you know what’s wrong with this sentence. “(…) to clash. When she got near, the sheer force of their colliding blades sent her back. Still, she managed to remain in the air and drew her bow, pulling back and arrow.”

Note: Let’s review this. She had the time to coordinate herself by throwing/sheathing her blade away, removing her bow which I imagine is hanging across her upper body, taking an arrow from her quiver, nocking the arrow, pulling the string, aiming, yelling the name of TWO spells, then shooting, after having been sent flying back by the collision. It may seem like an easy thing to do, but seriously, imagine the process. It’s lengthy, and in that time Vincent could’ve just thrown something at you. It’s important to take into account the time of your actions.

Flashback/End Flashback (11) You know what I’m going to say!
I know what i'm doing... I cant win this, but if he puts his all into an attack too... We may tie... (11) I’m doing. Can’t win.

the shimmering around her seem to coalesce (12) seeming to coalesce
what the hell your made of (12) you’re made of
The seemed to be reaching for something (12) They seemed
Her mind was shaking uncontrolabley (13) uncontrollably. Also, I have a hard time picturing a mind shaking. I’ll let it slide, because you might have done that for effect, and in that light it wasn’t a failure.

Her heart screaming without a single sound. (13) screamed without.

No, her eyes didn't roll back into her head. They simply GLOWED white. (13) Up until now, your narrative had more of a book style, but that one line where the narrator intervenes to correct what the readers could have imagined gave it more of a storyteller feel. Try and stay consistent with which style of narration you choose. Of course, you can mix and match a little, but this was too extreme a change. Also, try italics instead of capitalization.

Great power is about to collide... Keep charging (13) missing a period.
Her wings spread out as far as possible. And she radiated an aura of confidence and desperation. (13) as far as possible, and she (…) Also, both confidence and desperation? That’s a strange mix of emotions considered mutually exclusive.

All of a sudden a silver orb... Perhaps the size of an umbrella if it was opened and it was a total orb, it appeared before her. (13) All of a sudden a silver orb, perhaps the size of an umbrella if it was opened and a complete sphere, appeared before her.

And she screamed as loud as possible. "Pearl!!!!!" (13) She screamed (…). Five exclamation points is overkill. Try bolds and italics? “Pearl!” How’s that sound?
blood lust (14) It’s been a while that you’ve been using this, but bloodlust is so much cooler.

in vulgarian fury (14) Nothing wrong. I just love that word.
The burning blade howled with the wind as it made its deadly descent, and his eyes burned (14) variations of burn, repeated
(now extinguished of the dark burning flame and hissing as steam rose from it) (14) Same thing I said to Yukina. Commas or dashes work better than parentheses.
Filled Vincent mind (14) Vincent’s
He did not know where he was; neither did he care. (14) where he was, nor did he care.

Futuristic (14) You use that word a lot. What exactly would futuristic entail? Globes of blinking red glass? A digital clock on the hilt? Intel’s logo? I think you’re going for the ancient-advanced-civilization-that-built-everything-with-parts-from-a-clock version of futuristic. If so, then you should describe it that way.

was also four words engraved (14) were also four words engraved
as if it had been taking out of a fire and left to cool. (14) taken out of a fire
woman’s out stretched (14) outstretched
Vincent said asked her. (14) Vincent asked her
coat as pinned her wrists down and bit into her throat, causing a loud moan to awaken from her throat. (14) he pinned her wrists. Throat, r.w.
all put together liek (15) like
sweetey (15) sweety
and godly truly angelic powers (15) truly godly, I guess, or you forgot to delete godly.

[Zook Murnig]

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