Where do I begin?

[Dissinger]

(Closed to Slavegirl)

He had journeyed about Althanas. The weight of one guilt taken off his shoulders mercifully. As he walked down the outlander's quarters he sighed as he left the port. He needed to figure out where the office for a pass into Fallien was. Atop this might tall claim, was the desire to simply get something in his system for the nausea of being on a ship the past week was still overwhelming his senses. He couldn't understand why people wanted to be on a ship for their lifetimes, but he gave them credit for not requiring them to vomit in doing so.

As he moved about the area, he finally saw a fancy looking Hotel. His gaze lingered upon it as he gazed out form under the hood of his cloak. It wasn't that he was cold, or that he felt a need to keep the sun form off his face, more it was for his protection. Here no one would hesitate to hurt the thief, or at least that was the impression he got from the stares in his direction. As he entered the lofty inn, he sighed feeling the cooler inside air upon his skin. Moving to the bar he sighed as he took a seat and waited for the tender to come to him. He could afford a bit of a delay while he got his pass to go think out in the desert somewhere.

Liliana had intruded upon his hermitage when she had entered Otaria looking for him. After that fiasco he had made her promise not to go looking for him, then promised to go find her in Berevar when the time came. He still needed to figure things out, and the thrill of having her back in his life was something he didn't necessarily need when deciding what to do with said Life. He didn't even to bother looking around as he tried to keep to himself.

So lost in his thoughts was he that he didn't even notice who was in the room. Had he of, surely he would never have entered into it willingly. As he sat at the bar he merely leaned on the bar top and waited for the tender to reach him.

[Slavegirl]

It never took long for wanderlust to set in, Natalya had realized. After flitting from one job to another, like a hummingbird between lilies, the former slave had finally found an endeavor which seemed worthwhile. The owner of the most recent inn she'd worked at as a barmaid had offered her a very interesting alternative to quitting and finding yet another position waiting tables and flirting with ugly old men, and she'd have been stupid not to take it.

All he asked was that she worked on the crew of one of his ships that was headed for Fallien, and that when she got there she used the capital he gave her to purchase a building he'd signed a contract for and turn it into a luxury inn. Natalya jumped on the opportunity to do something new, and most especially to be back on the sea. Her wanderlust had never seemed as overwhelming when she was climbing the rigging of a grand sailing vessel as she overlooked the neverending waves below.

The voyage had ended all too soon, but another journey had awaited her. Now, almost two months later, she was the reputable manager of a popular inn known as The Phoenix Rising. In a massive building that gleamed white in the Fallien sun, and was practically dripping with exotic flowers, Natalya had set up a sinfully luxurious resort to which an astounding number of foreigners had flocked.

Leaning on the bar, the woman now concentrated solely on arranging the upcoming reservations that outnumbered the available rooms - she was going to have to fire that new girl, Saia. The beaded curtain at the main entrance tinkled merrily as yet another customer entered - did she have an empty room for this one?

Natalya looked up with a cheerful smile that quickly faded as azure eyes took in the features of the newcomer. It took her a moment, but she recovered admirably and the smile returned to her face, although not quite reaching her eyes.

"Seth Dahlios. What the hell are you doing in Fallien?"

[Dissinger]

The words hung in the air as Seth remained still. To his credit he seemed to keep his relaxed posture even though he was cursing in his head, something that his partner in crime could no doubt hear. As he met her gaze he gave a shadow of his roguish grin as he said, "Oh you know me, always looking for the next bit of trouble to get myself into..."

Those words said he dropped his gaze as he spoke, the sarcasm leaving his voice, "In all honesty I was looking for a good drink to calm my nerves, had to take a boat and you know how much I love those things. I also needed directions to the office to get my exit pass. If you give me both, I can guarantee not to bother you much longer."

His words were spoken in a business like tone as he kept his hood up. The benefits being that it helped hide his face somewhat form those about him. The second effect was with the slight incline of his head she couldn’t see his eyes. It wasn't that he didn't like making eye contact with her; it was merely that after the incident in Ettermire that ended in a night of passion, things were awkward between them. That went doubly so for the thief, who had finally found his lover, and felt obligated to try and hold out for her again.

He gazed about the lush inn and sighed seeing barmaids wandering about aimlessly. He almost wished he had sat at one of them so he wouldn’t have to deal with Natalya, almost, for while things were awkward it felt good to see her again. He was a bit more in control of himself, and he was certain she was as well. As he waited he drummed his fingers on the counter idly before he said, "I'll take the closest thing to Lavinian ale, pay for directions and get the hell out of here..."

[Slavegirl]

It might be awkward, but Seth was still one of the few people in the world she trusted, and she wasn't going to let him get away with being all business as though the pair barely knew each other. Turning from the thief, Natalya pulled a brown bottle from beneath the bar and set it on the counter.

"Do you even need a glass for this stuff, Seth?" the former slave asked with a wry grin, "Seriously, did you really think I'd run a bar without a supply of Lavinian Ale waiting for my favorite shadowling?"

Tilting her head and raising an eyebrow, Natalya leaned on the counter, invading Seth's personal space. She didn't invade his mind, the last time she'd done that they'd ended up in each other's arms and it made for an awkward situation.

"Are you really going to just disappear again once you get your directions?" Natalya reached out as she said this, pushing back the thief's hood so she could see his face. "I didn't regret what happened until just now... when I realized how much things have changed between us just because we slept together."

Pulling a pen out of her apron, and grabbing a napkin, Natalya carefully drew a map to the Exit Office three streets over, and slid the napkin over to Seth. Her blue eyes searched his face, looking for answers to why he felt so awkward around her.

"For gods sake Seth, at least stick around and tell me where you've been, what you've been chasing after or running from or getting into," Natalya urged, handing the thief a mug for his ale, and pulling a bottle of vodka from under the bar and pouring herself a glass.

[Dissinger]

He sighed as he poured himself a bit of the ale, half filling the mug set before him he took a sip as he waited. He knew he was probably attracting a few stares here and there for one reason, a scar now ran from his temple to his jawbone, from where the mysterious illusionist had hit him with burning chains. It was far from hurting, but it was a wound far deeper, a wound to the pride he had arrogantly toted.

Meeting her inquisitive eyes he saw he had a lot of explaining to do. Hunching over his glass and nursing the ale he felt a few tense muscles relax as the ale began to unwind his nerves. He then spoke his voice soft, "I suppose I have time, all the time in the world really. After we parted a lot happened to me, least of all this..." He said gesturing to the scar on his face now prominently showing, "I got into fights; I tried to vent my frustration. Eventually, I decided I need to sit down and think."

"I went to Otaria, port city by my home town. People disappear there all the time and I figured it would be as good a place to hide as any. Unfortunately, someone picked up my trail, and I got a meeting with the one person I never expected to see again. She's back where she belongs now, but I had to nurse her back to health. Point was, if she could find me there, then it wasn't a good place to think. So, I eventually made my way to here, hoping I could find some place out in the desert to just think for awhile," He said as he looked at her again.

He spread his hands as an open gesture before he said, "Guess I don't have anywhere to hide, no matter where I go, I'm known and either find a former friend and comrade, or an ex-lover, or worse, an enemy...." He sipped his ale as he said, "Sometimes I'm sick of it really, I just wish I could be alone for a little bit and clear my head..."

[Slavegirl]

"Well goodness Seth, you don't have to act like it's such a terrible thing to see me," Natalya said, only half kidding, "Sounds like your life has been about as hectic and obnoxious as mine. We always do seem to get tangled up in the strangest things."

The dark haired woman reached behind her and pulled a stool closer to the counter, taking a seat and putting the glass of vodka to her full lips. Before she took a drink though, Natalya paused and sniffed at the alcohol and then took a swig.

"I've been poisoned three times since I got here," she admitted to Seth as she put her now empty glass down on the bar, "Thank god I'm respected enough that I didn't have to pay an arm and a leg to get the necessary antidotes."

She shook her head, nodding to a customer who had just come down from his room and was heading out the door. He smiled and she waved, waiting until he was out the door of the taproom before she spoke again.

"I guess that's the benefit of running a luxury resort hotel eh?" Natalya laughed, "Everyone in the city knows that I'm the one most of the rich foreigners go through to find what they want, so they bend over backwards to help me."

[Dissinger]

A soft smirk lit up his face at the comments. He was about to quip back until she reported her poisonings. Even though they had slept together it had been more as friends than anything. The problem however, was in the fact that she had been attacked, not once or twice, but three times. As the hair slid over his eyes hiding them from her he sipped his drink silently. He waited for her to finish telling him the good news.

Like a viper his words were quick and efficient, "Well now, seems you got yourself into a bit of trouble. Give me a name and I'll make it go away." It wasn't a request, it was an order. While Seth was never one to care about rank, he knew he was the second highest ranking Shadow still alive after Ghaun's disappearance. It filled him with a muted pride in some regards; in others it was a shame he wasn't there to help his Captain.

The point of it however, was being so close to Ghaun, much like Natalya had meant he couldn't hear such things and let them go. She was like family to him, and he wouldn't let anyone harm her. His eyes flashed out under the hair as they shone with a bit of the old Lavinian pride. There would be no backing out, no trying to hide it, he would keep pushing until she gave in. It was that simple, and he was more than sure Natalya knew it now.

Of course, if she didn't he'd be more than happy to fill her in...

[Slavegirl]

A dark brow arched in response to Seth's demand, Natalya's blue eyes sparkling with somewhat skeptical laughter just dying to escape. A smile twitched at the corner of her full lips - not the right expression for such a serious discussion, but she found his reaction humorous to say the least.

"Now, now, Seth, you know I handle my own problems. And this is a problem that goes much farther back than even you," the former slave looked away, and then stood absently wiping down the bar and moving around empty glasses. For some reason she didn't have the patience to stand still anymore.

"Besides, I don't want to mix business with pleasure," she joked, referring to their last encounter, "Although I do need to go take care of this business soon. Maybe you could tag along if you were so inclined."

Natalya stopped her busy activity, standing before Seth, much more than just the counter between them now.

"What do you say?"

[Dissinger]

"Tag along? You make it sound like we're going out to the candy shop or something. Why do I get the feeling your hiding the details?" He asked as he sipped his drink. His eyes remained respectfully downcast. He had Liliana and the temptation was no longer there, but he didn't want to create it either. As he looked up into her eyes he tried to read something of the coming days in them.

All he seemed to see was stubborn resolve amongst a few other things. As he sipped his glass he spoke, "You already know my answer, just as I'm sure I know yours. So the real question is, when do we leave and where are we headed? I need my exit pass obviously, but with you there, I could get my pass easily. Anything for you if it’s as you say."

Now he was mentally figuring things out. It was something more than likely to tick off the girl across form him, as both seemed to be leaders. Neither liked following. The time in the library erupted once again in his mind as a fond smile crept across his lips remembering how they would try to one up each other. Amusing now, but it was irritating then, and here he was once again trying to work with the telepath, who more than likely was reading him like an open book.

Not that he cared as much as he used to, he just wanted to get it over with and think. Natalya was probably a good person to have around, as she'd more than likely whip him into something. What he couldn't be sure, but at the very least, she'd help him get answers, answers his own convoluted mind was trying to hide form himself.

He just hoped they were the right ones.

[Slavegirl]

"Probably because I am," Natalya laughed, but the end trailed off as Seth put up a wall like a fortress between them. As he finally looked up at her, she frowned. Part of her wanted to tell him just what was going on. And before she would have. But things had changed between them.

"Quit trying to plan things out. I'm still not even sure where she is, although I have an idea and can find out pretty quickly while you're getting your exit pass," Natalya told the thief watching his face carefully, and trying again to tentatively feel him out. The wall was gone now, and she smiled as Seth's mind flitted over memories of their time in the library in Ettermire when they were trying to find a way to resurrect the leader of the Shadow.

"Look, here's the deal. The woman who's poisoning me is an old enemy. Her name is Vedra and well... she'd obviously like me dead. I killed her son," Natalya revealed, still leaving out some of the most important details, like why and just how dangerous Vedra really was.

"Any questions? Or shall I get one of the girls to watch the hotel for the next couple of weeks and we'll get started?"

[Dissinger]

"My only question is why we haven’t left already," He replied as he finished the ale before he gave it a casual wave of dismissal. Getting up form his bar seat he slung his pack over his shoulder before he sighed. It was more than likely not going to be easy to obtain the exit pass, especially if the people of Fallien were less inclined to let someone of Seth's caliber in.

Not that he could hide his caliber, the array of blades itself was daunting.

However that was neither here no there, what was, was the fact he needed said exit pass soon. As he stretched he felt bones pop and crack, a refreshing feeling, but one that was obviously a sign of stiffness. He still hadn't enjoyed the boat ride here, though he had managed to go most of it only with a vomit halfway through the trip. The sailors laughed of course, but he was used to it.

It was funny how a simple thing such as seasickness had done such a thing to him. As he looked at Natalya briefly he said softly, "So I guess I could follow the map, but are you coming with me? Or are you going to just check for information?" He then held up the napkin she had drawn the directions to the office on. It was a simple enough question, and one he hoped she could answer with minimal fuss.

It wasn't as simple as it had been before, now everything was complicated. Perhaps this is why he had never stuck around Mariah for long. The girl had been practically hero worshipping him. Liliana at least had tried to be respectful. Sarah even had been somewhat clingy towards the end; he merely chalked it up to the fact that women could never do the one night stand. There was always a fondness that followed their chosen lovers.

Seth just hoped that fondness wouldn’t interrupt his walkabout. He needed to clear his head and get answers, and if after helping her, she merely tried to ensnare him to her bed, he wasn't sure if their parting would be as tranquil as the last time.

[Slavegirl]

Natalya laughed, taking off the half apron she wore over her ivory tunica and tossing it to a middle ages waitress as the woman approached.

"Here Bi'lina, you're in charge until I get back," she said, stepping out from behind the bar and grabbing a sheer linen shawl from a hook near the door.

"For how long, Miss Natalya?" Bi'lina asked, frowning as she tied the apron around her own waist.

"As long as it takes Bi'lina, hopefully only a few days," Natalya replied, then turned to Seth, "You ready, Dahlios?"

With a grin, she dramatically draped the vivid blue shawl over her lustrous dark hair and sached out the door of her hotel, into the blazing sun of Irrakam's streets. Glancing back at the thief, she slowed and let him catch up to her, linking arms with him as he came along side her.

"We'll get you that exit pass, and I'll get what I need about how to find Vedra," she eyed the thief appraisingly as she stopped before a large white building with statues lining the walk to its door. "You are going to sweat to death in that you know. Sure you don't want to buy something more appropriate before we go traipsing through the desert?"

Pulling open the heavy bronze doors, Natalya stepped into the cool dark interior of the Office of Foreign Affairs, waiting for Seth to follow. The building was massive, and more of the same statues were in even intervals along either side of the main corridor - all beautiful marble figures of the past rulers of Fallien. Each was a beautiful woman with a tender smile and a look of resolve - the mortal incarnation of Fallien's goddess Suravani, each called Jya.

"Shall we?"

[Dissinger]

"As I'll ever be," Seth muttered as he followed her out. She led him effortlessly through the city streets as he sighed unbuttoning the cuffs on his shirts and rolling them up. The blistering sun rained down upon the hapless denizens of Fallien as she continued leading him through the humid streets. He remained silent on the comment concerning his gear; he had worn these things through thick and thin, and was more than capable of protecting himself. Besides, he would be loath to take off his stuff, if it meant he was going to be fighting soon.

"I'll manage," Was the only reply he would give her as he continued to follow her, into the cool shade of the administration building. He sighed as he moved about the building with her before she spoke up, once again questioning his preparedness. He merely took in the sights rather than answer what was obviously rhetorical. She knew he was ready, she was just checking to see if he was there.

With a sigh he nodded as he looked at each statue, depicting different Jya's, a word he was unfamiliar with. As he walked up to one he was careful not to touch it as he muttered, "Idolizing authority figures?" He frowned upon seeing a plaque that described her tenure as the lands leader. Shaking his head he muttered, "Glad that rubbish doesn't translate over in Reven, then again we don't have nobles to worship."

His words were low, meant more for his own ears than anything. Turning the Natalya he said, "Well, lead on. I don't think we have forever..."

[Slavegirl]

"You should learn a bit more respect for other cultures, Seth," Natalya said briefly, motioning the thief over to a large marble desk set before a massive stained glass window, "But I'll not be the one to lecture you on why you should. Here's where we'll get our Exit Pass."

The former slave smiled to the woman who sat primly behind the desk, the dappled sunlight shining through the window leaving jeweled shadows on both their faces. The woman stood, pulling Natalya to her in a warm hug across the desk, and then glanced at Seth with a curious arch of the eyebrow.

"Natalya," she said sweetly, returning to her seat at the desk, "It is good to see that you've recovered from your little illness last week. Who's this now?"

"Thank you Mira," Natalya replied, and then looked back at Seth, "This is an old friend of mine, and he needs an exit pass so he can help me take care of the source of my little illness."

Mira frowned, dark eyes surveying Seth, as though measuring the thief for his worth to accompany and protect her friend. After a moment though, she bestowed a genuinely friendly smile on Seth, and began pulling the necessary documents from various drawers in her desk.

"So, I'll need you to fill all of these things out - do you read and write, or shall I do it for you?" Mira asked it without trace of insult or even curiousity, making it quite evident that it was simply a common occurence that it be necessary for her to aid applicants with the forms.

"Seth, Mira, I'll be back briefly, I've got something to attend to with Av'ral upstairs," Natalya placed her hand on Seth's shoulder and smiled, "I need to talk to him about Vedra. Please at least try to be polite."

[Dissinger]

He followed her to the desk as the woman observed him, taking him all in. He merely remained indifferent, refusing to even posture in a better way to gain favor. As she smiled he merely remained indifferent. Natalya then left him with the woman, who was asking if he was literate. It was something he knew was a valid question; however it hurt a bit of his pride to hear it. Shaking his head he spoke, "No, I'm quite capable of handling these by myself."

Sitting down in the chair across form her she began to explain the paperwork and he would fill in the necessary information. Soon it got to the point she didn't have to say anything and he was off in his own world. Filling in information here, dotting the "I" and crossing the "T", it was a silent Endeavour, until the administrator spoke up;

"What are your intentions with Natalya?"

Seth looked up only briefly before he pushed the form back to get a new one slapped down, "I don't think it’s important."

"I would, especially if you're going to try and help her," Mira said.

Seth sighed as he said, "I am a friend of hers, and I’m helping her then moving on. I came here to just get away from the world for a bit and think."

"So you don't want her?" Mira said. Seth was beginning to feel like he was talking to the parents of a girl he was courting now. As he sighed he closed his eyes for a second before he continued to fill out the forms.

"I have someone thank you very much. I don't need to hurt her anymore than I already have," Seth replied tartly. He then moved the final form back to Mira who sighed as she filed them all. She then gave Seth an armband, "This will mark you as approved to leave the outsider's quarter, tie it around your arm somewhere clearly visible.

[Slavegirl]

The heels of Natalya's boots clicked on the marble steps as she ascended the stairs to the upper level of the offices, smiling politely as she passed various officials. The last office on the right was her destination, a large corner office with vast windows that overlooked the city with a perfect view of the Keep. With a smile, Natalya knocked at the open door.

"Hmmm?" a small man sitting in an armchair that faced the window, with a sheaf of papers in his lap, turned and looked at Natalya, smiling and motioning her in, "Natalya my dear, come in please. Pull up a chair. Can I pour you a cup of chilled fruit juice?"

"Good afternoon Av'ral," she replied, pulling a chair over to sit across from him, "Thank you but no juice today, I really don't have that much time."

"Well I'm sorry to hear that. What can I do for you, dear?" the man said, pouring himself a cup of juice which he sipped at and then set on the small table beside him.

"I need you to help me with finding a foreigner who has decided to set up shop somewhere in the area," Natalya said, her tone growing serious. Av'ral frowned, bronze eyes surveying her face as she continued, "You know I've been poisoned several times since I've arrived in Fallien. The time has come to take care of this little problem -an old friend has shown up and has agreed to help me. I just need to know where to find..."

"Your enemy," Av'ral nodded, a sad look on his withered face, dark from years of the desert sun, "Suravani go with you, though I know how much she hates violence. What's this person's name, Natalya?"

"Vedra Relos," Natalya supplied, "And I know you don't approve, so no lectures Av'ral."

"Well you go on downstairs and I'll have something for you in a moment - I assume your friend is waiting downstairs to get his exit pass?"

Natalya nodded briefly, and stood. Av'ral stood with her and hugged her gently, patting her shoulder as she left his office. Quietly, he returned to his chair, pulling the papers back into his lap, but not looking at them. Instead he stared pensively out the window.

"You will be careful, Natalya?"

Natalya only smiled and pulled the door shut to his office and clicked her way back downstairs to the lobby to find Seth. As she approached, the hushed conversation taking place between the thief and the administrator drifted up to her.

"So you don't want her?" she heard Mira say. It was funny how protective these people were of the former slave after only a few short months.

"I have someone thank you very much. I don't need to hurt her anymore than I already have," Seth replied tartly. Natalya wasn't sure if he was referring to the unnamed person in his life or to her, but it didn't really matter since she wasn't supposed to be a witness to this conversation to begin with.

Slowly, she stepped from the last step and joined Seth before Mira's desk as the woman gave him the armband.

"All set?" she asked, as though she hadn't heard anything and pretending even to herself that it hadn't bothered her.

"Natalya?" Av'ral called from the balcony above them, "Wait right there, I'm coming down."

The elderly Fallien descended the stairs with the ease of a man 50 years younger, smiling at Seth as he stopped panting slightly before the pair.

"I'm not as young as I used to be, eh?" he laughed, then continued, "Vedra is living on an unregistered houseboat on the river. According to our laws we cannot prosecute her for having no exit pass unless she leaves the river. I'll send a courier down to the docks to have a boat waiting for you."

"Thank you Av'ral, you're a lifesaver," Natalya said, placing a hand on the man's shoulder, and then turning to Seth.

"Let's go then, shall we?"

[Dissinger]

Seth took in all the information silently as she carefully unbuttoned his sleeves and rolled it up. Pulling the sleeves out of his gauntlets and making sure the shirt was more of a short sleeved variant of his usual he then tied the badge of his exit pass onto the skin, letting it starkly contrast to the milky white hue of his skin. Grumbling slightly he said softly under his breathe, "Always a boat, can't just go out in the desert to find the witch, has to be a boat."

He then gave a brave smile to Av'ral before he gave a salute casually to Mira. Looking at Natalya he sighed as he said, "I'll meet you outside, just don't take too long, I'd rather we get this over with as painlessly and as quickly as possible."

In his mind he added silently, I just am getting too old for this shit...

Moving through the sea of statues to the front of the building he stayed in the shade leaning against the wall of the building. His eyes closing as he began to sift through his thoughts. Liliana had been begging him to join her, and he was more than willing to do it. The problem was the why; he never would understand why she gave up her life for him. She was sitting as a beautiful priestess who would forever be taken care of, and now she wanted to give up that place of power, of sanctity for him.

He couldn't fathom the love it would take to do such a thing. Mostly it was because he himself had never experienced that thankless love. He had been kicked out of his house at sixteen, been branded a murderer at twenty four, had been labeled a demon at twenty six. With the exception of Sarah he had never been loved by anyone, and even then he had been betrayed. Perhaps it was paranoia, but he had to put the priestess' motives under a microscope, if only for his own protection.

[Slavegirl]

"Don't go running off, Seth, I'm done," Natalya called after the thief, smiling to Av'ral and Mira before jogging down the corridor behind Seth. As she caught up to him, she slowed, and grabbed his arm to keep him from walking away from her as they walked out into the scorching heat.

"What's eating you, Seth?" the girl asked, arching an eyebrow as she gently reached her mind out toward his. Priestesses and sacrifice were all that flooded her mind, and the name Liliana, and with a shudder she drew back.

"That's some pretty heavy stuff you're wading through in that mind of yours, Mister," she said, catching his eye, "Do we need to have a talk about this Liliana of yours?"

Nodding toward the street, the former slave began walking again, giving the thief a chance to follow as she made her way slowly through the Outlander's Quarter and outward to the port where their boat awaited.

"I never figured you for one to fall in love," she admitted as they struggled through crowds of dark skinned, dark haired natives, "This girl really has you tied up in knots though."

At least on the river it would be a bit cooler, with a hint of a breeze to stir the sweat and the bugs from their skin while they searched for Vedra. She hated to think what it would be like in the desert this time of day.

[Dissinger]

Seth sighed as Natalya bust in through the front doors of his mind and peaked around. He closed them as he followed her through the streets and sighed as he said softly, "It’s a long story, I'm not sure if we have the time, perhaps later I can explain it."

The comment about falling in love struck him hard as he realized that he never had truly fallen in love. Sarah was the closest he had ever had to love, and that was far different than now. He had killed for Sarah, and been let down. Liliana however, merely brushed it under the rug and tried to help him soothe the beast within him. Did he truly love her? Was this more than animalistic lust? He didn't know anymore, it had been so long since the time in Otaria.

He had seen love, many times, but he would always scoff and say that was someone else game. He liked to pretend he was invulnerable to the almighty powers of Love. Yet, here he was more confused and scared than he ever had been in his life. He was a wreck, shambles of a man, if he could even be called that. He was a monster, and yet here she was trying to be with him, to make him normal, make him human. He wasn't sure what scared him more, the fact that he was loved by someone, which he could plainly see, or the fact he still didn't feel he deserved that love.

As they made their way to the port he sighed as he ran his forearm over his sweat slicked head. He was trying to keep cool as they traveled the dusty dry streets. The bit of alcohol he had was amplified under the intense weather, as he sighed and said softly, "We have any idea which boat it is?"

[Slavegirl]

Natalya looped her arm through Seth's and tugged him along through the crowd, smiling wryly at him while he thought over her words. The former slave had never been in love, but she'd felt the way her parents were with each other, and she remembered the way Lucky's mind felt when he thought about her, and Seth's mind was in much the same place.

They walked silently through the streets for a while, until they grew nearer the port, where Natalya looked around for the man she'd been told to see.

"I have no idea which boat we've hired," Natalya smiled brightly suddenly, "But I do know who we've got to talk to about it!" she laughed, letting go of Seth's arm and rushing across to a very tall man with a shock of sun-bleached platinum hair over a handsome darkly tanned face.

"Krugor!" she cried as she was enveloped in a warm hug, "I want you to meet a very close friend of mine Kru, this is Seth. We were in the Shadow together."

Krugor extended a well-calloused hand to the thief, a shadowed smile his only greeting.

"Seth, this is Krugor. He's lived in Fallien all his life, although he isn't native to here. He runs a boat up and down the river transporting goods from all over Fallien. He stays at The Phoenix Rising whenever he's in Irrakam," Natalya explained to the thief. Krugor was nodding, but still hadn't said anything, although his eyes were on Natalya like a hawk.

"So Kru, where's the boat?"

The man still did not speak, but instead motioned for them to follow him. Natalya grabbed Seth's arm again, dragging him through the crowd behind Krugor to a wharf at one end of which was a large office building, and at the other end of which was a houseboat attached to a barge with hundreds of sheaves of wheat on it.

"Krugor, did Av'ral tell you what we're looking for?" Natalya asked, as they stood on the pier looking at his boat.

"Yes, Vedra," he said shortly, nodding and then taking her hand gently and leading her toward the boat.

"You still in Seth?"

[Dissinger]

Dragged through the crowds Seth sighed as he realized now wasn't the time for thinking. He had a job to do so he could move on, and Natalya seemed determined to move on with it. As he was dragged through the streets he managed to keep pace with her while still shaking his head. The lightheadedness of the alcohol was a familiar feeling; however the heat had made the drink a bit more potent. Still he was a man of his word, and nothing short of death would stop him now.

It was when they met Krugor his demeanor became professional. He shook hands with the man, while making eye contact. Krugor seemed to only return the gaze a bit before he returned to watching Natalya with precision uncanny to the mere skilled. His lack of vocabulary seemed also off, but Seth attributed his paranoia to the alcohol. It was making him think too much anyways, and if Natalya trusted him, he'd give the blonde man the benefit of the doubt.

Still he was not ready for the next jerk of his arm and the subsequent comical stumble of Seth towards the houseboat. As he scanned it he still shook his head keeping his opinions in his head, though he was fairly certain they were being broadcast loud and clear to his telepathic friend. He did however manage to keep the suspicion under wraps as he merely looked at the wheat. Natalya seemed all too happy to be on the boat with Krugor and he didn't know why. Perhaps they were old lovers, he didn't know, frankly he didn't care.

What did matter was the whole being on a boat part. Still he moved forward resolutely putting his boots onto the deck of the houseboat. He then gave a brave shrug as he said, "I figure I could use the purge, alcohol is getting to me..."

He then looked at Krugor as he studied the man searching his body to anything of potential threat to Natalya. Perhaps it was the unused protective instincts that Ghauntyrr-stra had instilled in him, but he was determined not to be caught with his pants down. He merely stretched a bit before he carefully placed a lung popper up the laces of his gauntlet, where he hoped it would not easily be spotted, but could with a little difficulty be reproduced.

[Slavegirl]

Natalya let go of Seth's arm as she followed Krugor onto the houseboat, the gentle rocking of the boat against the current barely noticeable. Krugor turned to Natalya as she stepped through the threshold into the main cabin area, and smiled to her.

"You can have my quarters while you are on board," he told her, "Your friend will either have to sleep on deck in a hammock like me, or he'll have to share the cabin with you."

He gave Seth a funny look as he said this, and Natalya laughed lightly, tossing her things into the well-appointed cabin as he opened the door. There was a small bunk behind the door, a large desk with a few bound ledgers on it, and a smell of linseed oil and beeswax from the wood polish. Krugor took pride in his boat - it was his business as well as his home.

"It's lovely Kru, thank you for everything," Natalya said, hugging the tall man warmly again, "I owe you one."

Natalya winked at Krugor playfully, then turned to Seth with a cryptic grin.

"So you bunking with me tonight? I promise not to steal the covers," the former slave joked. Her mood had brightened substantially between seeing Seth again and having a solution in sight for dealing with Vedra.

[Dissinger]

Seth contemplated the words as he closed his eyes. While Krugor was certain an impressionable man, he didn’t sit right with the thief. Seth was still feeling unease. At first he thought about it as only alcohol. After all a thief drunk had to be paranoid to make it to the end of the day in Lavinya, that was just a survival instinct. However, while he had been inebriated he was not sloshed. Even now that he felt himself sobering up he felt this overwhelming paranoia. There was an old saying that said if you felt paranoia for awhile, it wasn't paranoia.

He was more than certain it was a danger sense developed in the thief going off. A silent alarm going off that would tell him if he was in danger, and it was doing a five alarm ring in the back of his mind, trying to get him to be on guard. As he looked at Natalya he gave her a smirk for a second before he spoke up, hoping his delay in answer was not suspicious, "You better not, I sleep cold again and it’s going to take a bit more than a warm reception in the morning to keep me happy."

He then tossed his pack onto the bed as he stretched feeling a few bones pop into place as he tried to relax. Shrugging his shoulders he spoke up, "I think I'll sit towards the edge of the boat for now. You know how the open water and I rarely agree with each other. I figure sit it out now than suffer later."

He couldn't understand why but the feeling of saying that felt wrong to him. As if he had told a weakness before the enemy. Still he remained casual as he strolled out and moved to the edge of the houseboat just looking out over the water. The heat of the sun baring down upon him as he used his sleeve to wipe the sweat from his brow. This definitely was not a good place to stay without a source of water. However he had to reach a decision soon or he was going to miss his set appointment with Liliana in Radasanth. He only had so long before he would have to return with his answers.

It wasn't that he didn't love her. He did, that was beyond a doubt. He just wasn't sure if he could trust himself with her. She had shared herself with him. Now he had to figure out how he would provide for her. He wasn't rich, he wasn't poor either. But he had no real place to stay. The hovel of his family surely had fallen into such disrepair he could not even see fit to consider it a home. The guild could work, but that would force her to live his life. Something he was loathe to do. Still all of this had to be shoved aside; no longer did he have the luxury of his own life. He had to do what was right for Natalya now.

[Slavegirl]

Natlaya tossed her bag next to Seth's and nodded as he walked out the door. The thief certainly had more on his mind than she felt brave enough to delve into with her own at this point. Gods only knew what kind of tangled up emotions she'd get immersed in if she tried to probe his thoughts now. She knew he was worried about whatever girl he'd found, and that was enough to give her something to think about. With a self-loathing frown, Natalya realized that she was jealous of whoever Seth had fallen for. It wasn't like she hadn't been there for him too.

What the hell are you thinking? she berated herself silently. He's like your own brother, and here you are being jealous of whoever he's found that has a chance to make him happy. It's not like you ever could anyways. Get over yourself.

Natalya shook her head, brushing the envy away like cobwebs in a doorway. With a decisive sigh, she pulled the door to the loaned cabin shut and went back on deck, taking note of Krugor and his crew. The large man smiled at her as she passed, and she squeezed his arm.

"I'm going to go see how my friend is - he's none to fond of the water," she told Krugor.

"I noticed that," he replied as she walked away, "He should be a bit more comfortable on the river than on open water, though."

Natalya nodded and disappeared around a corner, where she saw Seth sitting at the edge of the boat staring pensively off into the distance. The boat shifted roughly as the crew unlashed the last of the ropes that held them to the dock at Irrakam and they were soon floating freely down the river. Respecting Seth's obvious thoughtfullness, Nataly sat quietly next to him, not saying anything.

[Dissinger]

Seth stared out across the water for awhile, even after his friend had sat beside him. His eyes merely studied the river as he tried to force down the queasy feeling in his stomach. It was true he didn’t like boats, but at the very least he could tolerate it if he focused. He sighed softly before he finally spoke, his voice sounding tired, "If I knew how much a headache trying to live my life would be, I'd probably have thrown myself at another dragon, at least the dragon is fun..."

He let the preposterous words hang in the air before he looked down and spoke his voice soft as he tried to keep it down from the other men on deck, "You could say I found the answers I'm looking for, I just don't like them. Then again there is alot about my situation I don't like. In the end it just comes down to sacrifices, she made more than enough, now its my turn to return the favor I guess..."

Looking down at his hands he snorted as he shook his head, "Well, I guess I have to atone somehow, and if I never pick up a blade after this, I'll be more than happy to pay that cost. Its about time I stopped chasing dreams and woke up, it was a pipe dream to think any sixteen year old boy could change the world around him." He shook his head again as he snorted derisively at that last line. Had he really grown up? He had taken responsibility, a sure sign of maturity, but after that, what had he done? Slept around, played fast and loose with morals, gotten himself in trouble. Then he had forced Liliana to sacrifice for him.

Once again a pang of guilt hit his heart as he winced at that stab. It hurt to realize that part of his life. Now he was responsible not only for his fuck up, but for fucking up someone else. Especially since she was more than likely reliant on him now. He sighed softly before he closed his eyes and said, "Well, you probably know me better than myself, what do you say?"

[Slavegirl]

Natalya raised her eyebrows at Seth as he spoke, her blue eyes on his face as he spoke his deadly serious joke. He might have said it in a funny way, but she knew he wasn't kidding about the way he felt about his life. But she said nothing, knowing there was nothing she could say to change it.

"You don't have to make any sacrifices just to pay her back," the former slave replied with a frown, "That's not how it works. If I made a sacrifice for every one my mother made for me, or if my little sister made a sacrifice for everything I sacrificed for her, nobody would ever be even. That's not what it's about and you know it isn't. So why the guilt?"

Natalya sighed, realizing that she should be the last person giving advice. What did she know of love or sacrifice? Sure, she'd given up everything for her sister, but she'd gained her own freedom. And she'd hurt more people than she cared to mention, and given up any morals or ethics that had been ingrained in her by her mother. And what of these dreams the thief now spoke of.

"At least you have dreams, Seth," her voice was gruff, harsh with her own bit of self-loathing, "There's nothing wrong with that, whether they are attainable or not. At least you tried. And if she'd fault you for that... well maybe she doesn't deserve you then."

His guilt was like a beacon, a sharp light that stung the eyes in the middle of a storm and guided you right into his deepest fears. Natalya tried mightily to steer around those burdens, but they were apparent. His guilt was stronger, it seemed to Natalya, than his love for this girl he felt he owed.

"Maybe I don't know you after all, Seth," she sighed, "You seem to be pretty damn good about lying to yourself. If you lie to yourself, then anything I see can't be true."

With a pang of her own guilt, she looked away from him out over the water and into the desert beyond where the sun and the sand seemed to merge into one. She sat there and accused him of lying to himself, when all she'd done all along was hide from her own past and her memories. Wasn't that the same thing? She'd left her sister behind with a band of pirates, abandoning the two people who loved her most just so she could run away from herself.

"Fuck, Seth, I don't know. I can't even see myself straight, much less you. Who am I to tell you what you should and shouldn't do about love?"

[Dissinger]

"Yeah, that’s what I figured," Seth said as he looked down. He sighed softly as thoughts drifted back to his friends past and present. Darith would have surely told him to stop his belly aching, Garret would probably have hit Seth if only to knock some sense in the thief. It was then he realized just how few true friends he had in the world. Part of him felt cold when he thought about that. He was only twenty seven, there was no way he of all people should outlast his true friends.

Then again, there was no way he should be alive right now, by all technicalities he should have hung in Lavinya.

As he began to get up he spoke softly words that he had not spoken in a long while as he looked out on the horizon, "May we never forget the path we've tread, on the way to where we're going..." His eyes looked out on the horizon as he thought about every life changing decision, the decision to become a thief, to kill Thomas, to try to be with Liliana, to become a Hex Magi, to live his life and seek atonement. As he thought about all his decisions the smaller ones began to trickle in, the birth of Sarah, the death of the true Sarah, to lay with the priestess and utterly force her hand, to never be a priestess again.

He smirked in a way that surely didn't seem humorous as he said softly, "I think I'm going to go look for something to eat, try to settle my stomach." He then turned to leave the former slave where she was. Natalya and him, was a rather interesting relationship to say the least. Like brother and sister yet not, like lovers but not, like friends but more. While Natalya seemed to be thinking through her own thoughts he was busy sorting his, throwing the darker ones back into the darkness of his heart from whence it came. Especially the ones that once again sought to sabotage what he had promised to uphold.

Moving about the boat looking to find something to eat he sighed as he muttered, "If push comes to shove I'll eat anything..."

[Slavegirl]

Natalya caught the drift of his thoughts on his bitter reply, and she didn't have to probe to hear his stream of consciousness. Self-pity never impressed the former slave very much - she'd been through more than most, and really didn't see the reason to hold on to all the bad things in life when there was little to be done with them. She sat there for a little while longer, staring at her distorted reflection in the water before standing and angrily following Seth.

"Seth Dahlios, you'd better find something fast because it sounds like we need to talk," she snapped at him, quickly closing the distance between them and eliciting raised eyebrows and muttered suppositions from the crew.

They reached the boat's small galley, and Natalya cornered the thief, her blue eyes darkening visibly with her anger. If he thought that she wasn't a friend then she didn't need him tagging along while she ran off to go take care of personal business, and she didn't need to be dealing with his whining about his love life- at least he had one.

"You've got a severe attitude problem Dahlios, and I'm going to do something that Ghaun would do if she were here," Natalya growled at him, and stepped forward, without warning landing a stinging slap across his left cheek. "Now quit your whining, and don't even keep that thought in your mind that I'm not your friend. I don't let people who aren't my friends follow me around while I deal with my own shit. And I certainly don't listen to anyone bitch about their love life who isn't my friend either. So grow up and get over yourself. You have friends."

Her voice had risen to a level that brought several of the crew and finally Krugor to the doorway to gape at the petite dark-haired woman who was giving a severe tongue lashing to the thief. Natalya turned and raised an eyebrow at them which sent all but Krugor fleeing back to wherever he was supposed to be.

"Did you need something Krugor? Because if not, I recommend minding your own business," Natalya hissed.

"But, miss... this is my boat, it is my business..." he began to say, but as Natalya glared at him, he fled as well. Natalya turned back to Seth, eyebrows raised and jaw set.

"Well?"

[Dissinger]

Seth continued to walk as he entered the galley on the boat. The crewmembers giving him ample room as the firebrand stalked up behind him. As she moved swiftly he suddenly found himself cornered, and with the withering gaze sent his way even a tinge of fear. She spoke of friendship and the stiff upper lip, the kind of things he would have normally been openly hostile towards. However, hell hath no wrath like a women scorned, and channeling Ghuantyr'stra Do'afin she sent a slap heard round the boat as she told him to grow up.

As he felt the sting form the slap he closed his eyes. Deep within him was a beast, a beast that had epitomized his entire career. Upon that resounding slap it awoke with a roar as she asked what his next thoughts were. Opening his eyes a fire was within them as he moved swiftly pinning her in the corner as his face was mere inches from hers. Breathing with the exertion he felt the pool of emotions, from the cleverly hid feelings of lust and power, to the surface ones of grief and anger. Looking deeply into her eyes he felt a twinge of the feelings in Alerar, the hook in his belly tethering him to her as she awoke the beast of pride within him.

Perhaps it was the rough treatment that got to him.

Pulling back he shook his head dispelling the immediate close feelings before he spoke again his voice calmer than before, "Well, rather than make a scene in front of the crew, lets just agree that I'm royally fucked up, and I need to keep my shit out of yours."

As the residual lust and passion emptied he felt strangely exhausted. Like he had missed an opportunity and he would regret it. Still he sat down at a table before he sighed and looked at Krugor, "So there anything to eat or do we just help ourselves?"

[Slavegirl]

Part of her had known he'd have a violent reaction to her words and the slap across the face. Part of her was not at all ready for the vehemence of the actual reaction that resulted. As he pinned her bodily into the corner, his face so close to hers that she could feel the warmth of his breath against her cheeks, she felt her lungs contract, choking her breath away from her. Letmegoletmegoletmegoletmego her mind chanted as she stood frozen, staring at him, still unmoving even as he stepped away from her. The slave instinct that had been bred into 15 generations before her always seemed to get the best of her in certain situations.

Her mind reeled still as he backed off, his anger not dissipating, but being tucked neatly away. She felt this even as she desperately pulled her own mind into the hidden corner that made her safe, reinforcing the walls she had so painstakingly erected, only to let crumble of late. You asked for it... he didn't know... he couldn't know... you never shared anything with each other... he doesn't know... he doesn't even know why you have to kill Vedra... if he makes this happen what will she do... her mind still ran a million miles a minute, the fear and irrationality settling at the base of her spine like a serpent coiled to strike.

Blue eyes paled to ice watched the thief as he sat, asking still for food. Krugor kept an eye on the former slave even as the ship's cook tossed an apple and a half a loaf of dark brown bread to Seth. Something wasn't right in the way he stared, but Natalya was still fighting the urge to run screaming off the edge of the barge, her stomach churning.

"I'm... going to lay down," she managed to say, "I think I need to rest."

[Dissinger]

Seth remained silent as she left, his mind quickly sorting through and tossing his emotions back into the quickly filling recesses of his mind. As he continued to remain silent he felt countless eyes on him, and he dared not look at them, sure to see biased stares as the captain was rather fond of Natalya. A soft sigh escaped his lips as he tore a hunk of bread before he heard a voice break the quiet, "Have you no soul?"

The mistaken crew member received a harsh gaze as he looked up at the man. Dressed lightly his tanned skin made it apparent he spent time outdoors. His eyes were strict and stern yet Seth could see it in his eyes, hidden behind the veil of confidence was fear. Seth after all was a predator, he was trained to recognize it, to exploit it, to relish it. As he looked at the man longer he looked down before he said, "No harm came to her, and she's a big girl, she can take care of herself."

"But, you attacked her-"

"I did what was best for both of us. We know each others weak spots, and she exploited one. I put an end to it, and she was unharmed. If you'll excuse me, I think you have chores to do," Seth replied stiffly. He then tore another chunk of the bread as he set about eating. His stomach beginning to settle as the bread helped calm the storm in his stomach.

"What if you didn't sto-"

Seth's eyes snapped up at the inquisitive crew member before he slammed his hands down on the table and spoke, his voice showing the lingering ferocity of the demon, "I don't kill friends. I've had to bury enough of them as it is, I don't want another one's blood on my hands."

Thankfully the next words were not from the now frightened man as Krugor spoke up, "I think we've heard enough, back to work boys." The crew quickly dispersed form the galley as Seth sat there fuming at the bold accusation. He may have been a madman and a monster, but to ruthlessly slaughter friends was beyond him now.

As he sat there quietly he finished his meal before he got up. Moving about calmly through the ship as he felt the queasiness return he made his way to the cabin that was their room before he moved deep into the room past Natalya. Sitting in the nearby chair he watched her to see if she was resting or truly asleep before he sighed and rubbed his eyes tiredly, "Gods be damned if my temper doesn't get me in trouble one of these days..."

[Slavegirl]

The bed in Krugor's cabin was a plush downfilled mattress which hung from chains that hooked into the ceiling and rocked lightly with the rocking of the boat. Natalya lay in it, curled into a fetal position, blue eyes staring blankly at the wall. She was humiliated, scared, and most of all angry at Seth for making her feel all these things, and showing her this way in front of Krugor and his crew.

She heard the door to the cabin open and closed her eyes tightly as though asleep. Not that he was likely coming to apologize. Probably just slap her back, or pin her into another corner. She curled herself more tightly around her middle, her breathing coming a little quicker as her pulse sped up.

Her mind slung itself against the bars of her mind like a caged animal, frightened and frenzied. This was the self that had prowled that cage for so many years while she was a slave, and had erupted from her mind only to be quelled into complete submission after her run-in with Kadran. Kadran who had purchased her sister and then traded Anya for the more spirited Natalya. Kadran whose mother was Vedra. Kadran who was dead now after .... Natalya shook her head, pressing her face into the rough bed linens, gagging and choking down bile as the memories of that experience resurfaced momentarily.

And Seth had been the one to make those memories return. But he didn't know. He has no idea of that and what cornering you does to you. He didn't know. And he's here now.... just tell him. But she couldn't. She could show him... but that might just send him screaming over the edge of the barge. He should know though shouldn't he?

She turned in the cot, hollow eyes staring at the thief for a moment before she opened her mouth to speak, but no words came out. Snaking out a tiny part of her mind that wasn't afraid or angry or humiliated, Natalya carefully felt for what he was feeling, hoping to take on a little of his emotion to quell her own.

Lust. Anger. Desire. Guilt.

"Seth," she whispered, "Come here a moment."

[Dissinger]

He sat there for gods knew how long. His mind set forth with machination after machination. He ran his hands over one another feeling the comforting mythril plates upon his gauntlets as he closed his eyes. He wanted to apologize, he knew that something had been amiss with the action, Natalya's whole demeanor was nothing like what had been the proud woman who had slapped some sense into him. He instead remained introspected as he chained the demons of lust and power within him. Those demons that plagued him from the day he knew their names.

Her voice, while soft and timid broke the silence profoundly. His eyes rose to meet hers and he saw once again that emotion, the one he preyed upon, Fear. Hiding his instincts again, as much as it was getting hard to do, he moved to the bed and sat on it, trying to make sure he stayed a bit farther from her than normal. It was tough right now since he still felt the pangs of guilt at attacking her openly, and the feelings of lust towards her as his demons tried to force him from his chosen path.

It was at that point he realized that he had chosen, without even thinking he knew that at the end of the day he would return to her and do the best he could. Starting in Radasanth, they would travel together and he would find some corner of the world where Seth Dahlios was nothing more than a myth, and he could live the lie he was normal. As he let the epiphany wash through him he felt himself calm the storm inside. He then looked at Natalya before he said softly, "Well friend, you look like you've been through the ringer. What can I do?"

[Slavegirl]

Fear and desire make for an interesting combination. And as the thief settled himself beside Natalya, her emotions melded with those that she'd borrowed from him, leaving her flushed and more than a little on edge. But his own emotions changed, as he corralled them and chained them with guilt and feelings for that other girl that made Natalya jealous. That lust was a dangerous thing, but she wouldn't be warned.

"You've got more control over my emotions than I do," she said, her voice barely above a whisper even now, "And I'm not sure I like it."

She sat up slightly, and pulled herself closer to Seth, one hand on his thigh now, the other beneath her as she propped herself on one elbow and looked up at him. There was something which could distract her from her fears, but would she really use Seth for something like that? She'd done it to so many other men, but no one she actually cared about, or really even knew.

Of course now his thoughts were at least as much on this other girl as they were on the one before him. Natalya looked away from him and shook her head. She'd finish the search for Vedra with him, and send him on his way. Probably won't see him again after that either - if he even sticks around through the rest of this after the way you acted.

"I'll be fine Seth," she said, her voice almost under her control now, the tremor in it barely noticeable. "Sorry for messing with your head like that, I'm just screwed up is all. No worries."

And like that she pushed away the only person that she trusted. Still trusted even after the incident in the galley. Like that she had neatly clipped the relationship off, all that needed was to take care of that loose end. It wouldn't be long she was sure. Was that regret that stung her so deeply then?

[Dissinger]

Her demeanor spoke volumes. She pushed herself up, she tried the brave face. She spoke of being fine, yet he had heard such lies too many times. They were the lies he told himself every night he woke up with a bottle in his hands. They were the lies he told himself when he felt his breathing come raggedly and felt a bone in a position he could have sworn he had not woken up with there during battle. It was the lie of self perseverance, how easy it is to put a smile on and keep going, to lie to ones self and not face the truth.

"You know, it doesn't take a good liar to spot a bad one, and while you lie better than most..." He let his words trail off as he met her gaze. Her hand was still conspicuously on his thigh, a notion he recognized form their brief fling in Alerar. He could see it in her eyes fear and irrationality. As he pulled her up and helped support her he spoke softly, "You got more bullshit than I think I do, and you know how I get caught up in mine. Something you're not telling me?"

He was now looking at her as he felt the lust begin to creep to the forefront again. He had been with Natalya once; following the night they realized Ghauntyr'stra was forever lost to them. It marked a night of emotion and passion, of two people who had traveled similar roads and needed one bit of comfort before they parted. He wanted to say something more, but he didn't trust himself not after the promise he had made to Liliana. While part of him wanted to comfort Natalya to take the turmoil of Natalya and destroy it as he had his life, he knew that to do so might entangle him in a web only a student of the late Master fo the Shadow could lay.

He knew not what was wrong or further if he was the cause. He knew he had a hand on her buttons, but now he was gingerly pushing them trying to find the right sequence to turn back on the prideful and bold Natalya, not the simpering woman before him. He almost felt pity for the woman, had she not shown such great strength in shaking him loose of his personal prison. So as he continued to look into her eyes he spoke softly, "I need to know what’s going on in there if I'm going to be of any help..."

[Slavegirl]

"Of course I'm a good liar," she laughed almost hysterically, allowing him to pull her upwards, bringing their bodies that much closer together, "All slaves are."

She should have disengaged from him, let her own emotions take back over, instead though his own lust and hers combined with her fear and guilt and rage all to make a concotion that sent her reeling. All slaves are... and she was a slave to herself first and foremost.

"You know I was a slave Seth," she told him frankly, her lush body draped decadently over his as the hanging bed swung them langourously about the cabin, "But you've no idea the things that I went through during those times."

It didn't do to think on them now, and already she knew that even if she wanted to it would be impossible to tell him. The truth couldn't pass her lips, and there was only one thing she wanted - distraction. He had done it before, they had done it for each other - provided that much needed distraction from the pain that seethed within.

"What's wrong is that I don't want to remember them right now," Natalya admitted, leaning closer to him still, her lips almost brushing his as she lowered her voice. Was she seducing him? Her body moved instinctively against his, as she moved her hand further up his thigh to make her point quite clear.

"I think it's pretty easy to guess how you can help me."

[Dissinger]

Seth looked into those eyes and saw what she truly wanted. She wanted so badly to just have a fling, to forget the pains and to be satisfied that she was alright, and alive. It wasn't sex with any true romance; it was sex to forget to relieve the pain. Much like in Alerar she was hurt, cut at the depths of her very soul and she wanted to forget the pain, to take the escape route that had worked countless times before. As Seth looked into those eyes he knew what she truly wanted. She wanted to escape and he was the route, he was the open door she could use to escape her past.

It pained him to shut it though.

Slowly he reached down and gripped her hand gentle, no malice or anger in the act as he carefully took her hand from his upper thigh. He slowly closed his eyes sorrowfully as he shook his head and said softly, "I'm sorry Natalya, I made a promise to a friend and I want to try and keep it. I can help you in any other way but this..."

He opened his eyes as he waited; he was more than sure what the result would be. She was a powder keg and he was the spark to ignite it. She would probably explode, yell and scream, gnash and rail at him, but he couldn't. Perhaps at one point in time he would have willingly jumped into her arms. When he was still the dying man looking for a grave, but he was no longer that man. He was slowly returning from the brink of Destruction, he had a life to look forward to, and the thought of someone accepting him, flaws and all, brought back hope that he may be normal one day.

As he slid back in the hammock he closed his eyes and looked down as he said, "I'm sorry Natalya, I just can't..."

[Slavegirl]

Natalya tried to think if she had ever been rejected before this. She couldn't remember a time when it had happened. And to be rejected by Seth, because there was someone he had to keep a promise to, so she couldn't even keep trying, keep begging and pleading for him to be with her in the one thing that would erase her pain, it stung her like a poisoned barb.

But there was no explosion. Or if there was it was so muted, so far buried beneath her walls and barriers that it would never be seen or heard by anyone else. She stared at him, gathering herself and sitting further back on the rocking bed. Laughter came to her lips, an understanding smile, a warm nod, nothing to betray the burning sensation of betrayal that ached inside her.

"I understand," she replied, crawling to the edge of the bed.

Sliding her feet back into her boots, and quickly plaiting her hair into a neat braid, Natalya slipped past the thief, her body not even brushing his despite the cramped quarters. She disappeared through the door and into the darkness of the barge on which the sun had now set.

There were other people who could distract her. It wasn't as if she needed Seth specifically. Anger replaced hurt, and she lifted her chin and brazenly swaggered over to Krugor who stood at the helm of his boat, looking out over the reflection of the moon on the dunes. Her hips swayed meaningfully to a rhythm only she could hear, and the large man turned to look at her, an eyebrow raising as she approached.

"Krugor, I think I need your help with something," she said in a low voice in his ear, "In the hold, where we can have some privacy."

Understanding dawned on his face, and his mouth curved in a boyish grin as he nodded. Natalya smiled cryptically and walked away, leaving Krugor to stare at her hypnotic curves as she disappeared down the ladder into the hold. Handing the helm off to one of his crew with a wink, he quickly followed her down into the hold, where she waited in the dim lamplight with sea-dark eyes.

[Dissinger]

Forever seemed to pass between the denial and the actions that followed it. It was a pregnant silence, and the baby that was given birth was far more devastating than the stinging words that Natalya had issued the night they realized Ghuantyr'stra was dead. As he closed his eyes he felt it, deep within him, a tear that was, in his opinion, worse than the shredding of his soul, one of his heart, as twisted and blackened as it was.

She left, her actions as hollow as they were perfect. The smile, the laugh, the words, they all said I'm fine, but that was far from the truth. Seth had seen Natalya in this bad a shape and he knew she was far from fine. Fine was a word you could use to hide behind, fine didn't mean she was okay, it meant she would go find someone else to do it. As she left the room he half considered reneging on the promise, but he knew he was between a rock and a hard place now. To go with her and stop her would mean he had betrayed Liliana again. To stay meant that he would betray Natalya.

If this was a rock and a hard place, he hated to think of a lose-lose situation...and if he didn't do something he may just discover it.

Waiting silently as she left the cabin he tried to decide what to do. He could call to stop her, but if it wasn't to strip himself there and then, it would only hurt her more. So, when he finally decided he had given her enough time to recover from his betrayal he finally left the hammock. His boots hitting the floor of the boat he felt the ship rock underneath him and leaned against the wall feeling a bit of his queasiness return. However when he felt it subside he sighed as he moved out. Looking about for Natalya he noticed he couldn't see her at all.

Frowning he began to search the galley before he finally stopped a crewman and asked, "Have you seen Natalya?"

"She's busy with the captain, please go back to your quarters, you've done enough already," The response was less than friendly as Seth felt a bit of pride well up in him.

"Where is she?"

"Why should you ca-"

Seth reached forward and came a hairsbreadth from gripping the man by his throat as his temper surged before he pulled it back and flexed his hand the leather squeaking in protest form the abrupt treatment, "Tell me where she is."

"With the captain," The crewmember said as he turned and scrambled away from Seth, apparently frightened by the near violent display. As Seth growled lowly he punched the nearby wall feeling the wood bite into his knuckles a bit as he hissed letting out his frustration.

Sighing he remained there hand against wall as he closed his eyes. The anger was subsiding but he felt that he should go looking more for her. He hurt her, but he couldn't make it right, he knew this. It was a carved in stone fact.

But that wasn't going to stop him from trying...

As he moved about the ship he began at the top of the ship and worked his way down remaining silent as he began to search the ship for Natalya.

(I figure that should give you more than enough time to get a decent post ;))

[Slavegirl]

Krugor was rough, and impatient, barely down the stairs before his urgent mouth was pressed hungrily against hers. His hands groped over her body, pulling at buttons and tugging at laces and fumbling over her curves. Natalya responded to his clumsy attentions, expertly loosing him from his clothing and running her hands over him, her lips moving against his. It wasn't who she wanted, but that was no matter - it was what she wanted, and more than that, what she needed.

In a shadowed corner of the hold, partially hidden behind crates and sacks of tea and coffee, Krugor pressed Natalya against the wall and took her. He grunted and groaned as his rough hard lines moved against her supple silken curves, Natalya's eyes closed and savoring the distraction. She moaned and gasped at the right times, moving her body to increase her own pleasure, leaving him panting as she rocked against his hurried thrusts.

She could feel Seth's mind and knew he was looking for her, and she willed him not to find her, but so distracted - which was what she had wanted - she was unable to do anything to hide herself if he happened to look below deck.

Krugor didn't care about being quiet, and she could tell by the way he kept opening his dark eyes and glancing needfully at her, that he wanted to hear her voice raised in ecstasy as well. It was a pity she couldn't enjoy herself more, but her mind kept going back to Seth, and their last time - their only time - together, and the need to keep him from knowing that she'd run to someone else the moment he'd rejected her. It was embarrassing, and disgraceful.

And it made for rather lackluster sex.

[Dissinger]

Seth Dahlios was a giving man, but one who often sacrificed his own desires in order to get ahead in life. The pleasures of the flesh were often seen as something to be taken only when he could no longer stand it. It explained why he had gone with Sivienna, who had seduced him twice. Why he had slept with Mariah, whose knavish charm had brushed through to the core of him, trying to be the knight in shining armor. However, when he and Liliana had coupled, it was far different. It wasn't to satisfy a need, it was more.

However, the same had happened with only two other people in his life. The other two so close to him he considered them family. The first was Sarah Brown, the deceased sister of his best friend Garret, also known as Mother. Her life had been brutally stripped from her before the only episode that had netted him magic that he was proud of. They had shared one night, doing what they had always dreamed of and talked about, but never got to, and never did again. They had been planning their marriage and their eventual children when she had been caught and raped by the town guard.

The revenge came swift and with it, ostracized him from his only love. It had numbed him for years, seeing Love as nothing more than a construct of the weak or for those who had the power to protect the one they loved. It led him to try and avoid getting tied down, and had lead to him being far rougher around the edges than he probably would have ended up otherwise. It also meant that when he felt the pain of loss, a loss as deep as when his parents were found dead at his feet, that he wished it away. He turned to Natalya, and he poured himself into her, letting her experience the frightened man who had been tormented by yet more loss of friends.

Natalya was his weakest spot, because part of him knew, if Liliana had fallen through, he would have gone with her. And so when he moved down into the holds part of him almost cursed himself for deciding on the third woman in his life for him to be with. Liliana served him in a more complete way, but the feeling of damnation that scathed him was not worth the effort he was putting in to comfort his fellow Shadow survivor. As he moved down into the hold it didn't take him long before he could hear it, the grunts and the soft sighs. Before he could turn his eyes landed on the couple in the throes of passion. Freezing he felt part of him ignite in a jealous rage as he saw Krugor, a man already seen as a potential danger with the only woman he would fondly call sister.

It was a sight as horrible as when he had seen his parents dead before him. He didn't want to watch it anymore, but he could not help but keep looking. Finally he tore his eyes away and moved silently up as he ignored anyone around him, feeling himself going numb in a way he had felt only once in his life. As much as he had betrayed her, he never expected her to do this. She played with him like that, and when he failed to perform to be treated like a toy, tossed away for another one.

He moved to the cabin that had been theirs and began to toss his things into his pack. If she was going to be with the captain there was no point in him being around her. She had made her decision. She wanted someone who would play the game the way she intended, not someone who would try to remain themselves. If that was the card she wanted to play then he wanted nothing to do with that aspect of Natalya. She could be herself, and when she was done throwing herself to someone else and felt like she could look him in the face, she could try to explain why she had hurt Seth like that.

It was this last thought that made him ponder as he moved and sat on the edge of the boat, pack next to him. She wasn't his, and yet here he was jealous as anything else. He wanted to kill Krugor, to gut him from crotch to sternum and watch him cry in agony. He wanted to so badly, and yet he knew it wasn't his place. Natalya was a big girl, and could choose anyone she wanted to. She had probably slept with many men; this was just the only time she had been caught by him. Still he sat there and felt the pain, the horrid sting of Betrayal, it was a virulent poison, seeping into his veins and turning them to ice. All thoughts of pitying Natalya were effaced from his mind as he tried to think about if he even wanted to help her anymore.

Whatever his choice was he had to make it fast, or he would be forced to make the choice one way or the other.

[Slavegirl]

She heard the rustling, and tensed, which in turn sent Krugor over the edge, illiciting a loud moan from the captain of the barge. Seth had found them, and had watched, and then left. Natalya pushed Krugor away, leaving him sputtering in confusion as she righted her clothing and smoothed her hair back from her face.

Natalya stumbled up the ladder and past the crew, who glanced knowingly at her flushed face and sniggered as she shoved them aside trying to catch the thief whose sense of betrayal sliced into her heart like a knife. She rushed into the cabin they shared to find him gone, his things packed. He couldn't have possibly gone far, not on this boat in the middle of the vast Attireyi River.

Her mind reached out for his and found him, and she anxiously sought him out, finding him sitting at the edge of the boat. Should she leave him to his thoughts? Should she try to explain? Should she somehow defend her actions, or instead apologize?

The former slave knelt behind Seth, placing her hand lightly on his shoulder, casting her eyes downward and opening her mouth to speak some word that would ease his sense of betrayal. Nothing came to her lips, nothing was adequate. She closed her mouth again, biting her lip hard between her teeth and looking at him, trying to search his face instead of his mind.

"Seth?" she whispered finally, "Tell me what you are thinking please..."

It almost felt like they were being moved like pawns, like some higher power placed them within some strange game and slid them across the board, determining their every action and thought and word. Never would she have thought to betray the thief, this man who was like a brother, but so much more to Natalya. At the time though, running to Krugor had seemed like her only escape from the nightmarish memories that haunted her when Seth had refused to be the one that was there for her.

"I didn't..." she didn't mean to? That would be a lie. She didn't want to hurt him? This was true, but it meant little since she obviously had done it anyway. She didn't enjoy it? That was true as well, but regardless the deed had been done, and she couldn't take it back. Nothing she could say or do seemed sufficient. So she fell back to silence, and simply waited for the thief to berate her or to leave. She was certain he would leave soon anyway, to return to this girl he said he loved.

[Dissinger]

Seth remained there for gods knew how long looking out over the river. His eyes were unfocused as he looked out on the river, only blinking when the heat began to dehydrate his eyes. He remained still and silent feeling something deep within him stirring; it was all he could do not to scream in rage and anger, to destroy the ship around him in frustration. He had tried to help her, had tried to comfort her, and when she tried to cross a boundary he had set before she left for someone else. It wasn't the fact that Krugor had been her lover tonight, no, it was the fact that she had intended to use him just as she had used Krugor, to relieve the pain of her memories.

She approached behind him, her footsteps hurried and quick. Her voice quavering as a fragile hand rested on his shoulders. She seemed to try and respect his privacy, almost as if afraid to see what truly was going on in his head. As he looked out, not even looking at her he spoke, his voice soft, yet no less deadly than it had been when he had threatened Kycoo upon releasing the Homunculi, "Ghaun would have punished you for blatantly being noisy when trying to sneak up on someone. Probably would have forced you to do the training simulator until you got it right..."

The words hung there in the air, the comical nature of them lost in the severity of the moment. It was a joke, an attempt to break the ice, though even he didn't find it very funny. However, she tried once more to assuage his doubts, "I didn't..."

She stopped, choking on the words, trying to spit out what was in her heart. He could tell she was at a loss, and so he finished it for her, "Want to get me hurt like that. It doesn't take a Psion to figure that out." He let the words linger in the air before he spoke, "I found myself thinking about the last time I felt like this. There was a woman I killed two men to gain revenge for. I wanted to marry her and I loved her deeply, she was a fellow thief."

The words hung in the air. He rarely talked about the episode, not unless it was Garret or Darith anymore, not since her death.

"She was caught by the guard, and since they thought that she was destined for the gallows they could have their fun with her. They tormented and raped her, destroying the woman I loved and when I got her back, I was so angry I hunted down the bastards that did it. I gave into my anger that night, and the next morning two corpses were hanging up from the trade post, with words carved into their flesh, extolling their crimes."

The words hung in the air before he closed his eyes, "I went back to her, and I told her she would never be tormented by them again. She was no longer Sarah, she was Mother. The woman I loved was broken in mind, body, and spirit. I lost the person I wanted to spend the rest of my life with, and it hurt so badly, I wanted to tear my heart from my chest and never deal with love again."

"I put my trust in you Natalya. I tried to give you the benefit of the doubt. I tried to help you overcome things, and I'll admit I was rather selfish this morning. But with the callousness you threw me aside and went after him, I felt like all I was to you was a piece of meat you could get your kicks from before you moved on with your life."

He remained silent letting the words sink in. He wanted her to draw her own conclusions to think about what had transpired before he would speak again. His heart rapidly beat at the emotional turmoil within him. He wanted so badly to scream in outrage but kept his temper. He couldn't afford it anymore, not with too many innocents about. Finally he spoke his voice stern, "I made a promise to help you. I will not break that promise. I would suggest you get some rest and avoid Krugor, get too attached and you'll display weakness."

[Slavegirl]

The deepest most buried memories in Seth's mind were dredged up and revealed to Natalya. The most painful part of his past reminded him of this most painful present and the realization that she had caused him such anguish brought the sting of tears to Natalya's eyes.

She did not blink them gone or dash them away with a sleeve, they rolled down her face openly as she stared at the thief in what could only be described as horror. His story was as horrific as hers, with rape and loss and revenge, and her stomach curdled when she thought about how she had caused the memory of these things to resurface for him. If she had wanted to distract herself from her own painful memories, that was one thing; but to cause such terrible things to be remembered for her dearest friend, that was something she couldn't forgive herself for.

"You aren't," she cried, reaching out to him, but afraid if she touched him he would shatter into pieces before her and spill like broken glass into the river, "You aren't a piece of meat, and that's not what I wanted from you. It... it was different. But... I needed you, and you ... you refused to be there for me when I needed ..."

Her words stumbled over each other, her thoughts careening around her head, bumping against the edges of her mind like fireflies in a jar. Regret made her scared and fear made her angry. The emotions seethed beneath the surface like water bubbling in a pot, and she ground her teeth together against them.

"Gods Seth! I'm just a cheap slut, you of all people know that. It's not like you were the first or the last man I've slept with. I don't know how to be happy, or how to forget, or how to even figure out who I am! I get closest with you, but it's not because I want you to be part of my game or my distraction, it's because you don't judge me... or at least you didn't... and fuck you Seth if you think I want you around just because you made a fucking promise!"

The words overflowed, bubbling over the top and spilling around them, stinking with self-hatred and confusion and fear. She clenched and unclenched her fists, her eyes darkening to deepest blue as she stared at the thief.

"And I'll choose whether or not to avoid Krugor - I'm not attached, and not showing a weakness," she paused and frowned, tears spilling over once more, "If anyone has made me show a weakness, Seth Dahlios, it was you."

The last words came out as barely a whisper as she backed away from him and turned to run away, eventually grabbing hold of the rigging and climbing up high into it to glare at the desert as though it was the cause of all her problems.

[Dissinger]

Seth remained there for awhile. He could feel the eyes upon them as he ignored them all. Stares he was used to. Natalya's blubbering speech he was not. When he looked at his gauntleted hands he heard her talk about herself with such self loathing, an emotion he had experienced in spades. When she finally left him he clenched his and into a gauntlet. His anger was fueled, but he disengaged from it. It wasn't his place to be angry. She needed help, and he offered it. It was not his decision anymore if he was still needed.

And so he moved over to the mast and shouted up to Natalya, not even bothering to look up at her, "If you don't want me around, say the word, I'm sure they have a rowboat I can hop on and be out of your hair. Heavens forbid should I cause you any more grief and self loathing."

He then moved to the edge of the boat and slung his pack over his shoulder. With a sigh he went to Krugor who seemed to be watching the display between them wide eyed. Not sure just what was going on. He looked Krugor in the eyes before he said, "You want her, have her, but if you hurt her, I will make the pain you give her tenfold. In the meantime I need a new place to sleep, I don't wish to tempt her any more."

Krugor seemed taken a back at the words before he said softly, "There is a place for the crew below decks. A few hammocks, I'm sure one is unoccupied. Take one, they shouldn't mind too much if you keep to yourself."

Seth nodded before he turned and went below decks trying to find someplace to rest. As he did so he finally found one, near the mast that had no personal effects nearby it. Sighing as he tossed his pack up there he slid his boots off before he slid up to the hammock and jumped in. Turning so his back was to the steps down he stayed there. He was through feeling for the moment, he just wanted to relax, and he had yet to do so his entire trip.

[Slavegirl]

There were no sails to block her view, the river flowed in a northerly direction, and the current carried them toward their destination with ease. Natalya stared out over the desert, amazed as always at how far she could see. She ignored Seth as he shouted up to her, her eyes glued to the horizon as though something unexpected might come flying over it at any moment. It was difficult not to tell him just to leave, to take whatever damn rowboat he thought he could find, or to just fucking swim away, but she bit her tongue admirably and disregarded his conversation below her with Krugor.

Seth disappeared with his baggage belowdecks, not into the hold but into the stern where the crew slept, and Natalya snorted. Was pride everyone's greatest sin? Laughing to herself, and to the gull-like bird that perched beside her on the ropes, Natalya shook her head. It made her a bit homesick, the white feathers and chipper eyes of the gull rather opposite to the raven who had been her companion since the end of her slavery. When she had put up her walls after Kadran had traded her for Anya, and proceeded to abuse her, the raven had presumably flown home to his tree. Or perhaps he stayed with Anya.

No way of knowing where he went now, is there? she asked the gull, who gave her a startled look as she invaded his thoughts and fluttered to the rope above her before tilting his head at her curiously.

Birds go where the wind carries them, lady. Even he may not know where he went. The bird answered in a strange voice within her mind before flapping his wings once more and drifting away from the boat on the currents of warm air that rose from the sands on either side of the river.

"Miss Natalya!" one of the crew shouted from below, flinching visibly when she glanced down at him with a steely glare, "Cap'n said we ought to offer you dinner, as we're eatin' soon. I'm happy to bring you yours to your cabin if you'd be preferring that."

Natalya nodded, and watched as the sailor ran back to the galley. She preferred the Fallien people and their quiet courtesy to those that Krugor employed, but she wasn't the owner of the craft, and had little say over who he hired. Climbing with reasonable ease down from the rigging, she returned to her cabin, which was stuffy and smelled of lantern oil. It wasn't long before her meal was delivered and she was left to eat it alone, with only the silence of her thoughts to keep her company.

Sometime after midnight, she awoke with a terrible urge to vomit, and ran gasping out of her cabin where she fell to the deck with her head hanging over the side. For hours she lay there alternately shivering and sweating, vomiting until there was nothing left but bile, her mind not even able to wrap itself firmly enough around a coherent thought to send out a cry for help.

[Dissinger]

Seth slept for a few hours, the fatigue of the heat and the emotional drain were just too much. As he slept he remained silent, not making a single noise. The crew much relieved that their afternoon drama had ended for the evening went about their normal duties. Managing the boat, as they continued to set course down the river, the boat slowly became silent once more. Seth continued to sleep even then as he finally awoke sometime late at night, his body unable to rest longer. As he tiredly pulled on his boots he sighed as he shrugged on a cloak. The nights air a bit chilly, as the land had no way of trapping the heat. And even with the rising heat off the waters, the occasional breeze would whip over the boat.

He sat in the galley thinking as he sifted through his thoughts. His mind feeling bits of jealous anger at the thoughts related to Natalya. She was his sister if anything, the closest thing since Sarah he had to one, and as he knew all too well, he had a bad track record of dealing with family. Perhaps this was why he was so angry at Natalya. The only people he felt had the right to criticize were exercising it in spades. However he remained solemn as he sat there clearing his mind and just relaxing. This is what he came to Fallien to do, and he would do it, even if he had to kill some witch woman to do so.

As he remained in the galley he heard it, the retch of someone human. It was enough to make his own empty stomach go queasy as he rose and frowned. Moving slowly out to the boat he scanned the area slowly. His eyes raking over the ship and its contents until he saw her, Natalya on the side of the boat retching. As he moved he could see her shivering, and moved quickly and silently, dropping a cloak over her shoulders and attempting to place a calming hand on her.

He could feel the witty joke on the tip of his tongue, something about bad food, but he bit back on it as he wasn't sure where they stood anymore. Instead he offered silent support, the only kind he felt he could commit to without a rehash of their old problems. As he remained there he gently ran his hand over her back helping her through the sick episode.

[Slavegirl]

The vomiting subsided, momentarily at least, but the purging of her stomach revealed itself to be the least of Natalya's worries. Seth appeared at some point, his silent presence reassuring, but the former slave really couldn't acknowledge him beyond a sidelong glance from glazed blue eyes. Her muscles were doing odd things now, numb one moment and spasming and cramping the next.

It didn't take long for a full blown seizure to wrench and contort her lithe body, her back arching and eyes rolling back into her head as her hands clenched into fists. She tried to reach for Seth as she lost control of her own body - a fearsome thing for one who was master of herself above all else. Natalya feared her fit would throw her completely from the barge, leaving her to drown amidst the dangerous current of the Attireyi.

Her teeth ground together, her head twisted back in an excruciating position, her mind barely aware of anything but the torture her body was putting itself through. Slowly, ever so slowly, her body relaxed out of its seizure, her breath coming in ragged gasps, her muscles quivering weakly from the exertion.

Natalya whimpered and looked pleadingly at Seth, no recognizable words able to form themselves on her lips, or even in her thoughts. Her mind scrambled and clawed at itself trying to take a grip on anything, like an animal being dragged out of its lair. Her throat and eyes burned, and once more she rolled onto her side, vomiting again into the river below. Little more than bile trickled from her cracked lips.

The dawn cast a pallid light over the desert and her face, illuminating dark circles under sunken eyes. There was no way this was an accident, or some mere sickness. She watched Seth's face, her eyes begging him to realize this and find the antidote - and prayed that this wasn't a fatal dose.

[Dissinger]

The more he saw of her predicament the more he sensed the skullduggery that the situation was steeped in. Helping her stop from going over the edge of the floating barge he began to feel the righteous anger that he felt when one of his friends was in danger. He was beginning to put two and two together, and the answer, while four, was not one he wanted. As she finally stopped her throes of pain to vomit again he carefully dragged her from the edge towards the center of the boat before he moved swiftly.

There was only one person on the ship he felt was responsible for this act. For on any ship one person was to know everything that happened on their vessel without fail. Bursting into the captain's cabin he grabbed Krugor bodily from his hammock, and before the man was even fully cognizant he threw the man bodily through the door out onto the deck. A cry began to issue from Krugor's lips before Seth stalked out of the cabin grabbed him yet again by the arm, his demeanor cold and embittered as he once again bodily tossed the man to beside Natalya.

"She's poisoned, where's the antidote?" Seth said. His voice held a trace of the demon in it as he was seething, belying the true anger he felt.

"What?" Krugor asked as Seth moved swiftly kicking Krugor in the ribs, hard. He didn't feel a crack, but the sputtering cough of his victim was more than enough to satisfy the kick had the intended effect. Krugor coughed as he looked up questioningly at Seth.

"She's poisoned, where's the antidote?" Seth asked again. His arms were crossed over his chest. The effect intimidating as the daggers on his belt clinked together with the act.

Krugor looked at Natalya then at Seth as he said, "The galley would have the antidotes we keep, it doubles as our infirmary."

Seth was moving already barging into the galley as he began his search of the shelves. FInally finding something resembling a box of medical supplies he roughly grabbed it as he moved back to the mast where he had left Natalya. Carefully placing the box next to Krugor he spoke coldly, "You're more familiar with the language and the supplies. You're going to help her, or I'm going to have to toss your corpse over the side of the ship. Am I clear?"

[Slavegirl]

"Stop Seth," she croaked, pulling herself up against him, her body trembling uncontrollably, "He didn't poi..."

Krugor looked away from Natalya as she said this, and she stopped speaking, eyes widening in horrified disbelief. She was too weak to read his mind but she didn't have to. He had in fact been responsible, even if not directly, for her poisoning.

"No," she whispered, turning to Seth and then glancing back to Krugor, "Tell me she brainwashed you or something, Kru... anything."

Her friend, the man she'd let fuck her earlier that day belowdecks, someone she trusted with her life had just tried to take her life. Krugor shook his head and pulled a bottle from the case, not even having to stop and think about which might work. An apologetic glance left his eyes, but fell on a hardened heart.

"Kill him," she hissed to Seth, sliding a dagger from her belt which she pressed into the thief's palm, "Slit him from his balls to his bloody bald head."


"Natalya," Krugor pleaded, too late, "I didn't want to... but Vedra... she's..."

"Shut up Krugor, and tell me who else was involved," her voice was little more than a whisper, "I'll fucking kill all of them once I get my strength back - and that fucking antidote... better be the real thing."

Her strength was waning again, the world swimming before her eyes, and she gripped Seth's wrist tightly as she tried to focus on Krugor's face. As her stomach flip-flopped, Natalya fell to the deck again, her fist clutching at the bottle Krugor had pulled out to use as an antidote. With trembling fingers, she pulled the stopper from the bottle and dribbled the last of its contents into her mouth before losing consciousness once more.

[Dissinger]

"With pleasure," Seth said as he grabbed the captain of the ship. As Natalya fainted on the deck he lifted the larger man off his feet before Seth growled lowly into his clearly frightened face, "I wasn't kidding when I said any pain she went through would be returned with interest. Let’s get to work on those answers she wanted. If you're a good boy, the pain is the worst you deal with..."

Tossing the man down the stairs to the area he had screwed his friend literally and figuratively he went back as she carefully brought Natalya below decks, not trust the crew any farther than he could throw their captain. Kicking Krugor as he went down the stairs, forcing the man before him like an animal he set Natalya down on a few crates, using his cloak for a pillow for her.

As he drew Ebony he grinned and said, "Now, where to begin...oh yes, from the beginning. I hear it’s a good place to start..."

~*~

Krugor was alive but barely breathing as he was covered in cuts and scrapes. Words were carved into the flesh, liar and traitor amongst the large ones, various insults in smaller script. As he cleaned his blade he looked down the on the pathetic form of the man before he spoke, "I have to say Krug, you're lucky to be alive. Then again, I don't put down other peoples dogs. I only try to teach them the wrongs. You're going to have to plead Natalya for your life when she gets through the poison."

The man groaned as the Lavinian chuckled and replied, "No need to thank me, your uncountable cries of pain is all I need." He then used the cloth to wipe the blood from his dirty hands. Finally finished he said, "Oh, I'm commandeering your quarters again, hope you don't mind. I figure Natalya only deserves the best."

As he stooped to lift Natalya he stopped before he looked at Krugor and said, "Oh and Krug, I wouldn't recommend trying anything with me, if you like your crew as much as you pretend to."

He then carried her upstairs and to the hammock letting her rest as he sighed. Gently kissing her forehead he whispered, "Come on old friend, pull through this so we can end this chapter in our bullshit lives..."

[Slavegirl]

As she finally awoke, pulling herself through the dregs of the poison in her system, Natalya knew exactly what Krugor had used on her. Only Vadha’manikkali could cause such distress to the nervous system and leave a person in such a delirium that their dreams and reality seemed to be one. For Natalya, these dreams were that much more complicated as Vedra taunted her through them. Waking made things only marginally better, as now she was plagued by a headache that left her feeling like her brain was made of wet sand.

"Damn," she coughed, turning to face Seth, "We're close."

Vedra's taunting, and the attempt on Natalya's life made that clear enough, but she could also feel the greasy presence of the witch within her mind. Powerful Vedra was, but distance limited her kind unless she was linked to a person. Of course, Vedra probably was linked to Krugor and at least a few of his crew, which would explain why the poison attempt had come so unexpectedly. It shouldn't have though.

"I can feel her," Natalya explained further, rubbing fingers at her temples, "And she wouldn't have made them poison me if we hadn't been so close that she felt cornered. We'll have to land soon."

She tried to sit up, but the room spun and swayed, leaving the former slave nauseated and clinging to the hammock as if the vertigo would throw her to the floor. Carefully she shook her head and lay back down, fingers twined tightly in the webbing.

It would have been easiest to reach out her mind and locate the witch with a brush of her thoughts, but if Vedra felt her doing so - and she would in Natalya's weakened state - then she could follow the thought back into Natalya's mind and leave the girl a quivering imbecile for the rest of her pitiful life. This was not a thought Natalya wanted to dwell on. They would have to force Krugor to show them where Vedra was, and then trek there on foot. Natalya sighed, she was barely strong enough to sit up, much less to go galavanting through the desert in search of a powerful telepath who had almost killed her more than once before.

[Dissinger]

"Hold there friend, you're not doing anything till we flush that poison out," Seth said as he watched her wake. Grabbing a skin of water he gently placed it next to her. His actions were far gentler than they had been with Krugor, who he had brutally beaten, tortured and finally left for dead in the hold of the ship. Carefully he leaned against on of the posts in the room before he spoke softly, "I figure an hour should flush it out, you're right though, we are almost there. A few of the crew seem on edge..."

A hand went idly through his hair as he sighed. There was still some tension in him, some desire for relief. He was taut, wound up, ready to explode, and now that he had his target it was hard to keep it in control. He truly had wanted to finish the job but, he kept Krugor alive, only venting the months of frustration on him, as even after he had spilled out the plan, Seth had continued to torture the poor captain. Driving the man to the brink of insanity. Only then did he relinquish, incase Natalya needed him, or wanted to save that honor for herself.

"Krugor was supposed to get you close, so she could desecrate the body. The only reason he would be taking us aboard was so he could poison you in private, then deliver the body. Apparently I was a wrench in the works, and she wasn't too pleased about me. Where we go from there, only the gods themselves know, and they don' seem to keen on letting us mere mortals in on the secret," Seth said finally as she relaxed on the bed. He then sighed as he said, "I know there was some tension between us, maybe we can work it out later, but for now, I promise you can count on me. So, we good?"

The words hung in the air as Seth tried to read Natalya, a job that would have been far easier were he half as psionic as his counterpart on this endeavor. However, he merely bit his tongue as he waited, telling her what he knew was about all he could do. Give her the information, let her make the decisions. For once he wasn't in charge, and he wasn't sure if he was relieved or angry.

[Slavegirl]

She nodded carefully, letting her head roll to one side and looking at Seth through heavy lidded eyes. He was right, they had to wait until she was able to go to Vedra and kill the woman with her bare hands. No poison, just a dagger to the throat or an arrow in the gut. She might suffer for a while, but it would be clean at least.

Natalya managed a weak smile as Seth alluded to the tensions that were now all but washed away by the stain of poison on the trip. At least some sort of good had come from the wretching and convulsions. Although, Natalya wasn't really sure if it was worth all that just to temporarily fix things between her and the thief.

"We're fine," she reassured him finally, reaching a hand out to him as if to shake on the promise that they'd dismiss their disagreement until the unpleasantness of killing Vedra (and Krugor too) was out of the way, "But I do need something from you."

Once more she struggled into a sitting position - much more warily this time - and let her feet rest against the dark wooden planks of the barge's cabin. Rubbing her temples against the pain that throbbed behind her eyes. Expelling a breath - which reeked with the acrid stench of Vadha'mannikali - she cast an indigo gaze at Seth.

"Water - fresh water, at least a gallon," she directed him, "And bread - the darker the better. One will flush my system, the other will absorb what's left. If there's any spearmint in that lovely poison chest Krugor saw fit to let me sample, that would do wonders as well."

As Seth turned to go, Natalya managed to get to her feet, placing a hand on his shoulder and squeezing, lifting her chin and smiling as he faced her once more.

"Thank you," the former slave offered quietly, "For being there even after I ..."

[Dissinger]

"No thanks needed," He cut her off. There was no need to rehash old battle wounds. He betrayed her, her him, and in the end they got their just desserts. It was almost something Ghuantyr'stra would have taught them, that no matter their differences, they were stronger united. As he closed his eyes, feeling hers upon him he took a brief moment to ponder, what Ghuan would have thought of the wild night they had in Alerar. Would she have been proud? Would she have reprimanded them?

He wasn't keen on figuring it out.

Gently moving the hand from off his shoulder he squeezed it reassuringly, showing his lack of ill will towards the Psion as he moved towards the ship's galley. Grabbing a loaf of dark bread, he also grabbed a flask of water. Juggling the two he moved back to the room below where once again the stench of dried blood, sweat, and fear pervaded the air. Krugor sat on the ground, his eyes watching Seth warily as he moved through the poison kit. Finding a bottle containing green leaves in water he sighed softly as he turned to go. Before he heard Krugor speak up, "I didn't-"

"You did though. That’s why you're here. Pray she feels nice when she looks upon you, you're no better than I am," Seth spat his anger rising in his breast as he turned to go quickly. The thought of a friend even lover betraying a friend, made him so angry. Not because of the vileness involved with the deed, no that’s not why he hated such an action...

...it was because it reminded him of himself.

Moving through the ship to the captain's cabin he put on a brave smile as he offered his precious cargo to her, "It's no fancy dinner or alcohol, but I figure you're a bit tired of fine cuisine."

[Slavegirl]

A few hours sleep, a full stomach and a few litres of clean water seemed to be just what Natalya needed to recover from her near-death experience. When she awoke, the room wasn't spinning and she was easily able to stand and go to the door of Krugor's cabin. Seth had left after she'd managed to hold down the last of the bread and fall asleep without crying out. She'd shut the doors and sealed the nooks and crannies in her mind to bar Vedra from her attempts at visiting nightmarish threats on Natalya's wounded psyche.

And so, rested and ready to face whatever it was Vedra might have in store for her, Natalya set her hand to the latch on the door and opened it onto a newly rising sun. The blinding copper glare stung her eyes, and its reflection from the desert didn't help. It was barely an hour after dawn and already the heat of the day was undulating in transparent waves from the desert sands like some sort of spirits that were only half on this plane of existence as they danced their worship of the sun god.

Krugor was nowhere to be seen, but his crew dodged her glances, and kept well clear of her as Natalya looked around the barge for Seth. She found him as always near the railing, staring out over the desert toward the west. Leaning her elbows on the hot wood next to his, Natalya playfully bumped her shoulder against his, smiling at him out of the corner of her eye.

"Almost there now," she noted, "Have the crew said how much further? Or do I need to go ask Krugor?"

A sharp light shot up from the desert sands in the distance, and Natalya straightened, squinting as if that would bring the object into focus somehow. Something large and reflective shone out there, perhaps miles away on the horizon, but Natalya had the distinct feeling that this was exactly what they had been looking for. The shouts and whistles of the crew as they dropped anchor and lowered the sails confirmed just what the former slave suspected.

They were nearly at their destination.

[Dissinger]

Seth looked out at the desert before him as he sighed. He was tired, either from heat or just the world worn existence he wasn't sure. Still as he idly wiped the sweat from his brow he looked out there, searching for answers he already had. It seemed that he was always afraid of what those answers would entail. It was a constant game of hiding what he knew from himself. In the end he would give in and accept what he had always known as true.

He needed Liliana as much as she said she needed him. There could be no other option.

When he felt the gentle nudge he smiled, Natalya was up. She seemed much better than when they had their arguement only a mere day ago. As she asked the question he knew the answer, Krugor had revealed it all, regurgitating it before nearly passing out from pain. As he looked at her he spoke, "She's definitely close. I figure she knows by now you aren't dead, so she's entrenched herself. Nothing we can't handle, considering she wasn't planning for this."

"If you want to go see Krugor, I think he's still recovering in the hull of the ship. I'll lend you a knife if you want to end his misery..." Seth replied calmly. He wasn't sorry in the least for what he did, perhaps for the first time being vicious for what he deemed an acceptable cause. Unsheathing Spite he offered it pommel first to Natalya as he looked at her, "Make the decision quick, cause we won't have time to go back for him if this goes sour."