The Relentless Roar - Kohaku vs Jessie

[The Forgotten]

One hazel eye and one red eye gazed out into the distance from the stoic face of the ranking Pagoda Warrior. His close-cropped brown hair was windblown and standing up in the back; he didn’t really care to do more than run a strangely smooth hand over it in hopes it would go down naturally. Clouds danced in the sky overhead, masking the gentle sun behind grey curtains of shapes that metamorphosed indefinitely.

This was only the second time the tall man had stood on this pedestal; the first time couldn't really be called standing for the simple fact that he had been observing the monks crafting the world from the equivalent of a bird's eye view. That had been something worth seeing.

Behind him, carved into the stone pillar he stood atop, runes that probably had a meaning to someone marched all around the circle and all sorts of crossways inside it. Stretching his arms wide, the warrior arched his back and grimaced slightly when he heard three distinct pops. That was one more than usual. A piece of paper held underneath his foot flopped in the breeze. It was the reason he was here now. It was his future in this place.

“Kohaku Ryuu. Age: 23. Race: Human-Elf Hybrid. Why does that not surprise me?”

He chuckled to himself and released the pressure from his foot. The paper blew quickly away with a fresh gust. Far below, the waves of the lake washed up the impossibly smooth sides of the tower. Underneath the surface of the water, an incredible depth filled the space to the lake bed far, far below. A slight grin crossed the Warrior’s face. Nobody who fell from this perch would survive in that water. Not only had he been guaranteed this by the monks crafting it for him, he knew a little about what it felt like to hit a wall of water from three-hundred feet up. Thankfully, his close-fitting blue shirt and jeans were in no danger of getting wet today.

“Because I’m a Warrior now. Warrior Jessie, who would have taken this position whether or not my last match was a victory!” He bellowed to the clouds. His right hand tightened its firm grip on the solid oak shaft of his staff. He hadn't asked for this position. After facing off against the now-Master-ranked Travis Kiltias, the monks had approached him and stated (in not so many words) that they liked his performance and wanted to “offer” him a position. How was he supposed to know that anything he said would be taken as confirmation that he wanted the job?

Turning around, he crossed countless lines of runes until he reached one string in particular. The monks had told him that they were Dwarven runes of good tidings in battle. The string of angular characters he stood behind now read, roughly translated, “The clash of hammers rings to the Heavens.” The monks finally translated that one for him after hours of pestering. An identical line appeared equally distant from the center of the stage where he knew his opponent would appear.

Leaning up against his staff, Jessie closed his eyes and waited. Kohaku would show up eventually. Time didn’t always flow the right way in this place, but the challenger would show. Far below, the waves cared little for the musings and contemplations of the insignificant man so high up. They simply kept crashing, ceaseless in their movements. They would wear the pillar down, send it toppling into the depths of the deep. The only question was what would happen first: would the waves topple a construct of magic or would his memories decide to once again show up? His money was on the water.

[Kohaku Ryuu]

Walking through the Padoga, Kohaku quickly came to realize that they would not be fighting in the building itself. That was for sure. The only thing he wasn’t sure of, was where he was going to fight. And, that was a problem.

In search of this knowledge, Kohaku confronted a monk wandering the halls. Umm, excuse me sir. Could you please direct me to this arena?” Kohaku pulled out a small scroll and handed it to the man.

After a few seconds, the monk looked up at Kohaku and smiled, ”Well, I think that you are in for a surprise. The gate’s at the end of the hall.” The monk just laughed to himself quietly as he walked away.

Well now, what could this surprise be? ’Great…more surprises…what, is this guy a huge guy that can crush my skull between his two pinkies? Some great mage that I’ve never heard of? Great…Now I have to know!

Kohaku sighed as he walked up to the gate, the runes on it were foreign to him, but he could tell by the way they were glowing that they were probably magic runes. “Ah, a teleportation gate…great….’ He muttered as he stepped up to the gate, closed his eyes, and as he took the last step forward, his mind went totally blank. He felt absolutely nothing, pain, bliss, fear, joy, nothing! And, about half a second later he looked up, and there, standing out on the other side of the platform they were on, was his Padoga Challenge…come to think of it, they never really gave him the name of the guy…or a gender either, no abilities, no nothing. This guy was a mystery to Kohaku.

Well, why not start off with a friendly explanation?

“I suppose that you are my Padoga challenge? My name is Kohaku Ryuu, though, I’m sure that you already know that. What I’m not sure of, is who you are. Kohaku looked at the man with calculating eyes, trying to figure something out that he wasn’t sure was there to figure out. He was paranoid like that sometimes.

[The Forgotten]

A cold wind preceded something that Jessie was sure he would never get used to. The challenger’s exit portal looked like someone tore a hole in reality and stuck a black velvet sheet in it, and then twisted it up in all sorts of unnatural ways. Then out stepped the challenger; equally disturbing, but in its own way. There was nothing quite like seeing someone turn from a speck on the velvet horizon into a fully-formed human-like figure in the twinkle of an eye.

And twinkle his eyes did when the challenger spoke up after his entrance. Kohaku was certainly an interesting man, looking a shade over Jessie’s own age but much more… how to say… prepared for the world. The warrior’s mismatched eyes flitted from one critical point to another, taking in armor, weapons, and a general “threat” rating. Kohaku wouldn’t be quite as easy as Travis Kiltias turned out to be. That fight had almost gone too smoothly up to the point where the then-ranking warrior lashed out in desperation and sacrificially slew him. Well, “her”, if you wanted to be technical.

“I’m afraid you have things mixed up a little,” Jessie said playfully, the corner of his mouth turning up in a smirk. “You see, I’m not the challenger. I’m the warrior and you are the challenger. As for who I am, well, I’d like to know that as much as anyone, but you can call me Jess for now.”

The clear sun shone down on the two men, one far more relaxed than he should have been, the other most likely more nervous than necessary. Jessie leaned against his long staff quite calm despite being more than three-hundred feet in the air. He was really in no hurry. If Kohaku was a challenger, he’d be more than willing to initiate an offensive on a relaxed hierarch.

Of course, that line of thinking would get the half-elf killed very fast. The twinkle that never left Jessie’s eye was proof enough of that. Standing up straight, it may have been the sun, but somehow it looked like Jessie was suddenly a little shorter than the six-foot-plus man that was standing there a moment before. His hair was also lighter, longer, and his hazel eye was taking on a red tint. Another moment later, Jessie was clearly shorter than he had been by almost a foot. Both his eyes were a glistening red in the iris and his hair had grown past his shoulders… as well as turning an unnatural shade of pink. Her shoulders apparently, as a pair of breasts now clearly defined the Warrior’s chest and the hard masculine features of his face were much softer and feminine now.

“From the look on your face,” even the voice was feminine now, though it did not lack any of its former authority, “I’d say they didn’t tell you what you were up against. Don’t worry—I won’t go easy on you.”

The staff whipped from vertical to pointing one tip straight at Kohaku. The corner of her mouth was still turned up in a smirk, but the sparkle left her eyes. She had been ready the whole time, but now she was getting impatient. Hopefully he wouldn’t turn out to be a disappointment.

[Kohaku Ryuu]

A slight smile crossed Kohaku’s face as comprehension crossed his face. That explained everything and then some. ”Well now, that’s something that you don’t see every day. This could get interesting…very interesting.” Kohaku’s eyes were lighting up at the rarity of this girl/boy. Interesting…so very…interesting.

Though he was fascinated by this person, Kohaku’s smile widened as he quickly pulled his swords from their sheaths, sending a shower of sparks like a wall of fire forward, only to be broken by Kohaku, airborne as he jumped through the mass of sparks and charged his enemy. This was to be a quick battle if he could manage it.

As Kohaku ran, he was dragging the tips of his swords upon the ground, a shower of sparks showering around him as he advanced quickly on the girl, and as he got close he lunged forward, leaving the cloud of sparks behind as he spun once, swinging down at her with both swords.

If the attack went through, Kohaku would go through with a kick to the chest to send her back and hopefully off the platform. But, if she blocked the attack, Kohaku would then jump back from the shower of sparks that that would create and assume a defensive stance, ready for her attack.

[The Forgotten]

A brilliant show awaited Jessica as her opponent unsheathed his dual blades. A veritable fountain of sparks thick enough to mask the man erupted from matching sheathes, and then she saw Kohaku’s airborne form leaping through the shower. Her smirk returned with a passion; if he did it once, he’d do it again, and the next time he’d be attacking.

It was hard to not wonder where all the sparks were coming from as he made his first charge with both blades dragging along the ground. Perhaps they were enchanted to not lose any of their material when they sparked that much. Otherwise he would probably go through swords like nothing. When the sparks stopped, the red-eyed warrior took one step back and shifted her grip on the staff to bring it vertical. He was committed to his attack once his blades left the ground. He lunged, spun, and brought both blades around in a powerhouse of a swing that probably should have gutted the Warrior right then and there.

There was only one problem: Jessica wasn’t where she should have been. There was a mantra that the hierarch lived by, a series of rules that somehow seemed to be embedded in her mind through the darkness that clouded her past. Not even three days ago, the first rule of the mantra gave her a victory against Travis Kiltias. He had leapt at her, vaulted actually, and sealed his fate. Granted his fate also included a suicidal last-slash that took her out as well, but the battle would have dragged out much longer had he simply kept his feet on the ground.

In this battle, here and now, the second rule of the mantra burned fiercely in her mind. It chose the course of her actions before her mind could finish processing the thoughts. It was so disturbingly simple that she wanted to scream at Kohaku when he so blatantly broke it. Never show your enemy your back. As quickly as he began his spin, her feet began moving in a programmed response. The heavy staff naturally flowed from vertical to horizontal as light feet flew over incomprehensible lines of script. She veered off to his left, away from the dual blades, used her momentum combined with his own to slip by, and then she let loose with a two-handed swing of the staff right for the small of his back. The smooth shaft let loose a low buzzing hum as the tapered end whipped through the air toward a logical target.

It was common knowledge, at least to Jessica, that back armor was inherently weaker than chest armor. Running into a fight, a warrior was always best protected. It was quite rare for a soldier in any army to wear a back plate simply because retreat generally meant you were already going to die. When back armor was worn, armorsmiths usually made it thinner and lighter so it would be less cumbersome for a fighter. If that was the case with this Kohaku’s armor, he would find it quite uncomfortable if the staff struck it. Not only would the armor fold in on itself, but it would also pinch his breastplate closer and make his breath shorter.

Why does it feel like this is just random trivia swimming around in my head? I’ve never studied this that I know of, but it just pops into my head. What is going on with me?

[Kohaku Ryuu]

Kohaku was slightly surprised to find that when he went to slash, there was no contact at all. A few things went through his mind all at once. If she wasn’t in front of him, or in his peripheral vision, then there were only two options left, up or behind him. Another thing that went through his mind was his weak point, which was obvious to anyone with a brain: his back armor was about as thick as two sheets of paper…which was bad against crushing blows like her staff.

Armed with that knowledge, Kohaku made a very quick movement. The first part was to bring his blade in his right hand down to hit the ground, sending a spray of sparks behind him, which would hopefully be enough to disguise his next movement, as well as blind her enough to help him dodge the attack as he ducked down slightly, and rolled to his left. He then sprang back up to his feet, his fear realized by the sound her staff made as she drug it through the air.

Out of the way of her attack, Kohaku instantly lunged at her from her left side, the spark shower still around her, and tried to bring one sword from each side at her legs sideways as he lunged at her, trying to ‘cut her legs out from under her’ , as the saying goes.

The spark shower would hopefully be enough to distract her for the two seconds the movement took, and hopefully she wouldn’t be able too recover quickly enough to block or dodge the attack that was now coming at her at the knees. Of course he wouldn’t swing hard enough to actually cut her legs off, but hard enough to cut to the bone and hopefully force her into quitting.

[The Forgotten]

The low, droning hum that emanated from Jessica’s staff cut through the relative serene silence atop the stone pillar. A few waves crashed relentlessly against the base of the tower still, but the washed-out wash hardly reached so high. Only the grating of metal on stone and a surprised yelp sounded through the air now. The hum of her staff was cut short as soon as the insane spark shower showed itself; the yelp was a surprised hierarch not knowing exactly what to do next.

Who enchants their swords to make that many sparks with such little contact? The Warrior’s mind reeled. Someone who doesn’t know how to fight head-on… or can’t fight fair.

Either way, the shower of ground metal did its duty dutifully. The sparks obscured Jessica’s vision and, thanks to the first helping of distraction earlier, she immediately released her staff and jumped to the side. She landed on her shoulder and rolled a little, but the ache was nothing compared to the two blades lunging where her legs had been.

This sight also provided a revelation: Kohaku was blinded by his cover just as much as she was. Sparing a quick glance over her shoulder as she stood once more, she noted that her primary weapon was quite clearly gone. An unforeseen development, but that just meant that things were going to start getting interesting.

Dark violet smoke wafted around the Warrior’s left hand as she switched to something she wasn’t terribly comfortable with… staff combat without her staff. Unlike most fighters, Jessica did not rely solely on her weapon for offense. She kicked, punched, and sliced just to switch things up… and now she was glad her style wasn’t what most people expected. Standing in the center of the ring, an idea flitted through the hierarch’s mind. Hopefully, she’d be able to pull it off. It would be hard enough to win without her staff…

[Kohaku Ryuu]

Kohaku smiled as he looked down at his feet. When he landed, he felt something under him. What he saw surprised him quite a bit: the warrior’s staff lay between his own two feet. He bent over and picked it up. After a second, he decided to get rid of it, and gave it a good toss behind him, over the edge of the pillar they were on, down to the water. That way there would be little hope of the warrior getting hold of it again in this battle.

Now that that was out of the way, the only thing Kohaku had left to worry about was how he wanted to finish this, and quickly. Well now, how to finish this? Hmmm, yeah, that’s a good idea. Why not?

Kohaku had a rather good poker face as he rushed forward, both swords raised in front of himself to protect his upper body. As he drew near, Kohaku quickly raised a hand, sending a fireball at the warrior’s chest. He then waited to see how she dodged the attack, following her. If she jumped into the air, Kohaku would then jump after her, trying to slash her across the legs from under her. If she rolled out of the way, then Kohaku would run after her quickly and try to overpower her with a strong slash down at her. If she just sidestepped, Kohaku would then send a shower of sparks at her by hitting the ground with his sword, jump over her and try to attack her back, flipping in such a way to not reveal his own back to her.

[The Forgotten]

There was a saying Jessica heard shortly after reaching Scara Brae. She had been in Jessie’s form back then and a few thugs with clubs were picking on someone who didn’t seem to have any means of defending himself. Yet before she was able to lend a hand, or staff, an unexpected turn of events graced her eyes. The lone man, against any odds she'd bet on, took down all of his opponents. Perhaps he had known all along that someone had taken an interest in the scuffle; it hardly mattered. What did matter were the words he spoke to the befuddled face gaping at the scene.

“An unarmed man is far from defenseless…” He said.

…And rarely without a weapon. Jessica’s mind finished.

It was hard to lose her staff, but she still had a weapon that hadn’t seen use yet. She was unarmed, but far from defenseless. Kohaku’s face was stoic as he ran, but the quickness of his steps was a sure indication of his confidence. Overconfidence. Weakness. He thought he had won; he was certain that this would be easy now that Jessica no longer had her staff.

He thought wrong.

The smoke surrounding her left arm was excited, waiting for that one command to snap it into a solid form. All she needed was the opportunity to make one strike, a clean shot with her elbow, even a good target to kick would work. Anything that reduced the distance between them and gave her an open shot at part of his exposed skin. Was it really that easy? Her previous plan blew away like so many rose petals and revealed the deadly thorns menacing underneath; yes, it was that easy. The mist surrounding her arm thinned out and spread across her whole body just as Kohaku released an unexpected twist… or to be more precise an unexpected blessing. A fireball sprang to life, quite large compared to the few fireballs she had seen, and the will to survive took over. She zigged to the left, planted her feet, and then zagged to the other side of the fireball’s path after it flew by.

It was almost expected when the spark shower erupted from the smallest strike of his sword’s tip against the engraved surface of the pillar. Almost expected, but certainly anticipated. Two steps brought the Warrior through the sparks; the metal shards stung and burned, but even the volume of sparks made little effect to the Hierarch’s resolve. She made a mental note to have the monks restore her hair and clothing whether or not she died; countless black splotches were so ungainly out on the town. The absurdity of the thought failed to register in her battle-driven mindset.

Through the sparks, she accurately guessed that her guest was going airborne once more. Her staff would have made quick work of him, but that was beyond her reach at the moment. What she did have, however, was a pointy little surprise. Skidding to an almost immediate halt, she ducked down and lunged with her right hand extended, reaching for the first thing she could grab hold of on Kohaku’s body. Jessica was going to get up close and personal with her opponent and show him just what happens when a major artery gets pierced. Neck. Groin. Left or right armpits. Any of those areas would make a nice target for the dagger-like blade condensing out of the mist at the tip of her fingers. A single stab to the jugular… a piercing strike to the subclavian artery… a penetrating blade to the femoral artery. Only a miracle or potent healing magic would stem the flow of blood coming from any of those wounds. Five seconds was all the time she needed; five precious seconds and his heart would stop.

Of course, these vital locations would only work on a human. Or someone human-like. Who knew what kinds of strange veins elves had in their body? All of Jessica's thoughts in that moment could be summed up one simple cry.

I cannot miss!

[Kohaku Ryuu]

Kohaku was taken off-guard by this sudden attack, thinking that it was going to be an easy win. But, he was dead wrong...well, almost. The attack went through. Jess grabbed hold of the ribbon holding his armor together and pulled on him, sending her hand towards his arm. He started to smile, but an instant before he did, he felt a splash of warm liquid fall down his side as her small blade pierced his armpit.

That was something that Kohaku was completely not ready for. He thought that it would be so easy, so simple to strike this person down. But, everything is not how it seems sometimes.

Kohaku instinctively brought his hand up to press on his wound as he stumbled backwards. He knew his time limit, and was well aware of his limitations. But, one thing he was sure was that the warrior didn't know about his 'ace-in-the-hole'.

An instant later, a beautiful pink light started to form around his hand, and glow into his wound. A second or two passed, and as Kohaku drew his hand away and the light faded, they could see the cut, but wast they couldn't see was the blood pouring out of the cut. ”You're not the only one with a bag of tricks my friend. This battle is really starting to get interesting. I haven't had this much fun in quite a while.”

The only problem was that Kohaku would have to be careful. His healing powers aren't strong enough to heal a wound that great with any degree of mastery, and if he strained himself, he would risk reopening the wound. But, he wouldn't need that much time if he was more careful. All he had to do was lay one good hit on her and it would all be over.

Kohaku sheathed his left hand sword, as he didn't want to stress it's wound with the extra weight and movement of attacking. Then he did something stupid, or so it seemed. He rushed her head-on again. But, seeing as she had nothing but a small dagger to defend herself, he now had power and range to his advantage, and also a slight edge in speed, thanks to his elf side.

Kohaku rushed forward, skipping the spark shower, and went for the easiest place to land a hit, the waist, aiming at it with a quick stab. It would be much harder to dodge the attack because it was the center of the body, and any indecision could be a tragic mistake when it came to moving out of the way.

[The Forgotten]

Smooth material, almost like silk, met the Warrior's hand when she erupted from the last fragments of the spark shower. Her eyes snapped open and she pulled, unsettling his guard and revealing a beautifully exposed armpit. It was almost too simple to slide the dagger-like blade through his tender flesh and sever the vital artery. She dared not raise her lips to smirk, though, and for good reason. She had accused him of being overconfident, even if it was only a mental accusation, and she was dangerously close to the very same thing she scorned.

The magical blade slipped out of its fleshy sheath and dissipated into Aether once more when Kohaku stumbled away. It looked like the end of the fight. The arrogant challenger would be dead within the minute. The half-elf tried putting pressure on his wound; didn't he realize that it was unavoidable? Unless... no! That wasn't supposed to happen! The hierarch had been exposed to only a small selection of magic in her time both in the Pagoda and wandering the island of Scara Brae, but the calming warmth she saw radiating from the hand he had pressed against his wound was clearly one of the worst types around.

To make matters worse, he taunted her, mocking the fact that she had only her magical blade. He sheathed his apparent off-hand sword after speaking words that showed how little he knew about fighting in general. The fight was not very far from over; he was holding to life by a thread and she was ready to touch it to the edge of a knife.

Kohaku's stamina was the only thing that impressed Jessica throughout the entire battle so far; his stamina and absolute tenacity to be more precise. The two fighters were almost polar opposites in how they fought: the armored man dashing around and throwing caution to the wind versus the frail woman who strove to make every motion count. Yet even his impressive stamina had to come to an end sometime, and when it did, she would not relent.

Taking a half-step back, the warrior prepared her empty hands for something that would certainly count among the ten stupidest thing ever done in her life if even one thing went wrong. Her center of gravity dropped as she bent her knees; the man who wished to end her was running again. Right foot back, left foot forward. Kohaku was closer now and his blade was held closer to his side than it had ever been before. Right hand held palm-forward, left hand resting by her ribs. The man thrust his blade at her hips, she took one step forward. Even as her right hand made a half-circle down and across her body, the amorphous Aether congealed into a familiar blade one last time anchored to her wrist and extending to her elbow.

The two blades struck, sending a torrent of slag flying into the minuscule space between the two fighters' bodies. Just above Jessica's hip, hot steel scorched her flesh and singed parts of her body that no man or woman had ever touched before. The strange sensation wasn't enough to halt her actions, unfortunately enough for the swordsman. Fingers locked straight flew toward an exposed neck, seeking the fragile cartilage of his trachea. If she couldn't bleed him out, he'd suffocate instead.

[Kohaku Ryuu]

Will the surprises never end? Both ways, that is. The bright red flakes of burning metal that were bouncing off his armor and singing his hair were exactly what he was waiting for. It was perfect. In the blinding light of the fire around them, it was perfect for a quick finishing move.

He also knew that she would try again with that weird dagger attack to a vital area. That much he knew as he quickly dropped down, feeling her hand brush the tips of his hair as he quickly spun around, sending a fast spin kick to her legs, trying to knock her over as he pulled out his other sword.

Kohaku quickly made his move, crossing his two blades as he went after her, trying to pin her to the ground as he tried to put a well placed knee into her gut. And to restrain her, Kohaku attempted to take his crossed blades and place them over her neck, holding her at checkmate. He really didn’t want to kill her, and he couldn’t exactly figure out why.

But, as soon as the sparks cleared, it suddenly hit him: She was a very pretty woman…even if she was kind of half man….

For a brief moment, Kohaku was taken aback at his slow realization, but quickly regained his composure as he realized that his blades were at her neck. The movements were so quick that it would be hard to escape his attack. But, he also quickly realized that that quick movement had started to reopen his wound. It was starting too bleed again, but not as bad as the last time. He was starting to get a bit light headed and starting to get a bit weak with the blood loss, but he could probably pull off another 20 seconds of blood loss and fighting if he was careful not to open the wound more. Between the blood loss and his realization, Kohaku didn’t have the strength to issue a warning verbally, so he let his eyes do the talking with a piercing look that she might be able to see as a warning if he had any strength left.

[The Forgotten]

Perhaps she had become predictable. Maybe he had just anticipated her to block his strike. Most likely cause for the reason Jessica was lying on the ground with a pair of swords crossed over her neck? He got lucky. Real lucky. A veritable river of sparks erupted from the lightest contact between the Aether blade and the hot metal sword. It shouldn't have obscured her sight being so close, but the coward's sword made up for all the times it had been ineffective by creating the next thing to a solid wall of fire between them.

As soon as he was obscured, Kohaku must have ducked because Jessica's hand felt nothing but hair where there should have been throat. She tried to grasp his thick hair, but he had moved yet again and her hand found nothing but air. If she could have throttled the air right there, everything would probably have been better than feeling his leg sweep into her forward leg. Most of her weight had been on that leg after being impaled by the blade which meant she was going down hard.

It shouldn't have surprised her when her opponent managed to act as though the sparks weren't even there despite the fact that she was all but blinded because of them. A solid knee found her stomach on the way down and two blades crossed over her neck moments after she hit the ground. It should have been impossible, but somehow the challenger had done it.

He was weak, he was tired, and he was still bleeding. Jessica could see that he was fading. It would be so easy to simply wait him out, defiantly staring into his glossing emerald eyes. Or to reach around with the blade one last time and slide it into his heart; he'd never see it coming looking at her the way he was. Looking at her. A rather unnerving sensation welled up in the Hierarch's mind as she recognized many of the thoughts that were running through his mind. She recognized many of those same thoughts; she had had them before as Jessie looking at an attractive woman.

Did this mean - what did it mean? The hierarch closed her eyes and turned her head to the side hoping to hide the blush creeping onto her face. It was wrong; she was supposed to be a man! But she was also a woman, and despite only changing in a physical sense between jessie and Jessica, perhaps her mind was slowly changing as well.

“I concede this match. You win.”

It would be so easy to just wait him out, but that wouldn't be right. It would be so simple to slide a dagger through his ribs and into his heart, but was it really worth losing her head? So often these matches came down to a suicidal last-surge that killed both fighters... this time there was no need for theatrics. He had won the battle, but this victory meant nothing in the minds of those who judged the Warrior's worth to keep her position in the Pagoda. He had won the battle, but he would lose the war. Jessica smiled.

[Kohaku Ryuu]

Kohaku let out a sigh of relief as he let his swords fall to the ground beside her head, sparking of course, and closed his eyes as he fell to the ground next to her. "Good match, good match. At least you are an honorable fighter..." he mumbled as he started to loose himself to his injuries. "little help here?" he got out before his eyes blacked out. It was all he could do from slipping into darkness completely. He was happy that he didn't die.

And there was some relief to it also. He had won. Through all the odds, he actually pulled it off. He was weaker then she was in his techniques, the only reason he really won was because he had enchanted swords, which he used to cover his weakness in sword combat. So he laid there, hoping that she would help him, hoping that his life wouldn't fade away. And, that's all he could do. He was drained in every sence of the word, drained of willpower, drained of energy, and drained of blood.

[The Forgotten]

Lying down like this wasn't all that bad. The stab wound wasn't bleeding terribly right now, but the adrenaline from the fight was already wearing pretty thin. All the punishment she had put her body through was catching up, one plodding heartbeat at a time. She couldn't have continued the fight if she wanted to. Her palms were starting to ache from gripping her staff so tightly, her back hurt from being taken down, and the sword stab was changing into a thousand knives with each heartbeat.

Kohaku tried to speak a few last words before passing out; he wanted to congratulate her on his victory. When the words left his mouth, Jessica felt a renewed urge to finish a dirty fight with one last assault, but she refrained. His arrogance would never go away unless someone managed to beat him severely into the ground. As much as she wanted to be the one to do that, it would be someone else's honor. He would learn his lesson eventually.

The man fell to the ground, rolling beside her and staring up at the expanse of sky that never quite seemed to match the mood of a fight. The pink-haired warrior also gazed up at the heavens, hoping to see for a moment that invisible stadium that she knew existed somewhere out there. Had the audience seen a good show? It had certainly been flashy thanks to Kohaku's swords; they'd probably like it being the simpletons they were. Her eyes slipped closed as the last bits of exhaustion took hold of her body; she wasn't going anywhere for a while now.

The whisper of sandals slapping against stone wanted to pry her ruby orbs open, but it was another losing battle. Warm waves of the monks' strange magic encompassed her completely, lifting her up and setting her down almost immediately on a pleasantly warm and wondrously soft bed.

“Don't worry, Warrior Jessica,” came a soft woman's voice. Few were the women of the Ai'Bron. “you are in good hands.”

The beaten hierarch lightly smiled at the reassuring words and finally slipped into restful oblivion. A grey mist obscured her mind as she dreamt of the one thing she knew had to be true. Three figures, clad in shadows to obscure their every feature, gazed down with tears in their eyes. They had to be tears because they fell, still covered in shadows, and splashed on the skin of whoever was gazing up at them. Was it Jessie's chest the salty drops fell onto? It was certainly a male's body, but the name didn't quite fit. Not Jessie then? The dream played out eternally somewhere in the depths of Jessica's mind.

“Her body is becoming harder to heal.” One of the monks said in hushed tones to two others gathered in the infirmary door. “At least she didn't get herself killed this time.”

“We knew this could happen, right?” Another asked. It was the woman who had recovered the warrior's body this time.

“It is a risk with all off-worlders. Her biological makeup seems to suggest that she is human, but there are so many types of humans passing through these gates every day that that means little.” The third replied, obviously more academic than the first two.

“What about her male side?” The woman asked again.

“It seems to be losing its dominance... like he subconsciously wants to be a real woman and his body is slowly responding to that latent wish. For his next fight, try talking to him and suggesting he stay as Jessie throughout it. He isn't rejecting our magic; only Jessica is.”

“Of course.” The other man stated before turning to walk away. Not many ranking warriors gave the monks this much trouble, but perhaps this fighter was what they needed to break free of complaisancy and begin the studies of magic and the mortal body once more. At the rate she was going, soon none of their magic would be able to bring her back from the dead.

[Breaker]

The Relentless Roar
Battle Judgement

Apologies for the tardiness; I've had my time occupied almost entirely out of the house. Feel free to contact me on AIM if you want further detail or need a clarification on something.

Forgotten's scores are in blue, Kohaku's are in red.

STORY

Continuity ~ 4 ~ 1

Forgotten: Your main weakness here, I believe, is the lack of an omnipresent, overarching storyline. You provided a vague background at the beginning, and dropped a few vague hints throughout, but details are the things that bring a story to life. I didn't really understand why Jess was a warrior in the first place, or why he had challenged Travis. Also, the whole fish-like sexchange thing confused me until you explained it a little in the end.

Kohaku: I have almost no notes for you in Continuity, and that's because your side of the story didn't really have any. Remember to tell why the story is taking place - why is Kohaku fighting in the Pagoda? What series of events transpired to lead him there? What is he hoping to accomplish? Keep in mind that even if this battle is only a slice of Kohaku's life, he should still have a past and a future.

Setting ~ 4.5 ~ 3

Forgotten: You provided a satisfactory initial description of the arena, but I was never really impressed with what I saw. You also seemed to forget about the setting after the first few posts. Remember, the way your character interacts with the setting helps the reader to identify with it. There was a lot of sparks and fire, but they never seemed to faze Jessica in the slightest. Also, you need to consider the realism of your statements. In post #7 you mentioned the "serene silence" of the arena. Silence? At the very least, we should have heard the combattants panting in exertion, and their feet scraping across the ground. Try closing your eyes and imagining yourself in Jess' situation; think about all five senses, and you might find something more interesting here.

Kohaku: Most of the above comments also apply to you. I saw almost no effort to innvolve the setting in your story. We need to know what's going on around your character, and how his surroundings effect him. You did some neat things with sparks, and I liked it when you tossed Jess' staff off the cliff, but even these things weren't described well, or in an interesting way. You should make an effort to use the setting to draw the reader in.

Pacing ~ 3 ~ 4

Forgotten: For the most part, I found your writing long winded and wordy, often dry and unexciting. Your job as a writer is to make the reader want to keep reading. However, you seem more concerned with an endless diatribe denouncing your opponent. In the process of pointing out Kohaku's every weakness ICly, you forgot to deliver a compelling storyline. Outlandish events such as the sex change early on should have been interesting, but they simply failed to captivate me. Please make an effort in the future not to destroy the reader's suspended disbelief (most prominently, see post #13).

Kohaku: While your lack of a storyline (see continuity) made the plot less exciting to follow, you at least made an effort to keep the battle raging. Remember though, non-stop action isn't as interesting as well written action interspersed with a thrilling storyline and compelling character development. You used a rather boring, conversational internal and external dialogue for most of the thread. This combined with unclear descriptions and excessive wordiness (see technique) bogged down your flow quite a bit.

CHARACTER

Dialogue ~ 4 ~ 2

Forgotten: I found the dialogue in your first few posts awkward and confusing. It didn't help me understand Jess as a person at all, instead serving only to make a blatant plot points. In fact (and this applies to both of you), I preferred the posts that had very little or no dialogue in them. Try only using dialogue that reveals something original about your character, and you might find yourself writing realistic conversation instead of cheap one-liners about how common half elves are.

Kohaku: Again, please read Forgotten's comments. You used an excessive amount of dialogue that was far too repetitive and conversational to be effective. Remember, what Kohaku says should illustrate his character. In post #4 you used the word "interesting" four times in as many sentences. You also really, really need to think about the context of the dialogue. In post #10 Kohaku had just been through what sounded like an exhausting battle - he should have been gasping from the pain, blood loss, use of magic and overall exertion, not rattling off a monologue about how much fun he's having.

Action ~ 2 ~ 0

I'm not separating the comments here because I'd just end up repeating myself a lot. I saw a significant amount of Powergaming from both of you, and some bunnying from Kohaku. Jess, quite frankly, seemed faster and stronger than plausible, not to mention the use of nonexistant hand to hand combat skills. Knowing the location of every major artery and the use of open handed strikes to the throat generally requires advanced combat training. Seeing these things done once by a stranger does not translate into using them in a real life situation, especially if you're a mere above-average bofighter. I felt that you both portrayed the overall battle and your characters' injuries unrealistically, and Kohaku used his 'pyro play' ability to a greater degree than his profile deems possible.

I felt it was important to touch on these things, but what really brought both of your action scores down was the lack of a any character related action. Don't either of your characters have any latent habits? Action is not just about combat, it is about the things your character does that defines them as an individual.

As a final note, the "choose your own adventure" style that you both ended posts with on occasion is really annoying, particularly from Kohaku. When more than half of your post (see post #8) is a description of things that might happen, you should reconsider the direction your creative energies are flowing.

Persona ~ 3 ~ 1

Forgotten: I couldn't really grasp a sense of Jess' persona until the very last post. Jessie came off as a somewhat boring emo kid, while Jessica's motivation was a mystery to me. It seems like the only noteworthy issue in this persons' life is the ambiguos sexuality, and the Pagoda hardly seems like the best place to resolve that problem. At any rate, if you're going to base your character's persona off of their ability to switch sexes, you should include explanation and elaboration throughout, not just at the end.

Kohaku: The only time I got any persona from you was when you said something like "he was paranoid" or "he was happy." Kohaku needs an omnipresent past, real opinions, and internal dialogue that isn't based around overused cliches such as "ace in the hole". I think you need to do some serious reading to get a feel for how to write persona; check the JC forum for inspiration.

WRITING STYLE

Technique ~ 4 ~ 1

Forgotten: I spotted the occasional literary device, but I had to search pretty hard for them. The only metaphor that seemed to really work was the one about rose petals and thorns. Personifying the smoke as "excited" didn't do much for me, and the black velvet metaphor in post #3 was a neat idea but awkwardly worded. Focus on using direct language at all times, especially when using devices, and your writing will become less wordy and more effective.

Kohaku: I didn't notice any effort at literary devices from you, and you need to avoid using such ineffective language. Words like "completely" and "starting" pop up far too often in your extremely short posts. Also, as I mentioned before, try to use original ideas instead of cliches.

Mechanics ~ 7.5 ~ 6
Clarity ~ 6 ~ 6

MISCELLANEOUS

Wild Card ~ 4 ~ 3

TOTAL ~ 41.5 ~ 27

The Forgotten is the winner!

EXP and GP Rewards (doubled for Pagoda Month)

The Forgotten receives 950 EXP and 400 GP
Kohaku Ryuu receives 200 EXP and 100 GP

[Witchblade]

EXP and GP added!

The Forgotten reaches level 1!