Wax on, Wax off. (closed)

[Xos]

There was a storm out. Lightning flickered and thunder crashed. a wet and bedraggled Xos made his way to the citadel. He had just recently returned from a trip home, to Kessingale, where he learned of an inter-dimensional threat to all of Althanas, a powerful destructive entity that was as an uncurable virus. Worst yet, Althanas was infected already. There was hope, but only if he got stronger, if the world got stronger.

This is infact what prompted Xos to come back to the citadel. He needed to get stronger, to develop more skills than what he had. He wanted to stop The Consuming Darkness before it consumed Althanas, but he was pitiably laughably weak.

He trudged up the steps. Understandably, everyone was inside, and as Xos entered, some warriors laughed at him, and his wet robes. His steps made a squishing sound as he approached a tavern the monks had set up temporarily using their legendary powers for their visitors to find shelter in while the storm raged outside.

"You look wet young friend." a large burly monk said.
"well, it is raining outside." Xos said, stating the obvious.
"Really? I'd have never guessed." The monk said with a chuckle.
"I need to learn how to fight, hand to hand. Magic is handy, but mine isn't yet strong enough to do everything, I need to know how to fight, for times when a fireball just won't do the job." Xos said.
"Indeed, but all in good time, for now you need to dry off next to the fire, and tell me more." the monk said.

__________________________________________________ ______

Xos stood in the center of what the monk said was a common akashiman training dojo. The floors were made of bamboo, the walls were made of paper, and framed in more bamboo. The ceiling was vaulted, enough for the rain to slide off. Weapons of all sorts sat clean and polished on racks in the corners, wooden for training purposes.

Now completly dry, Xos was told to wait in here for one the monks felt would train Xos adequatly in the art of hand to hand combat, and so with the sound of a sliding wooden door, opening and closing, Xos turned around to face his teacher.

"My name's Xos, pleasure to meet you." he said, turning to face his teacher, and opponet.

[Taskmienster]

Winds whipped through the nearly empty streets of Radasanth. The storm that had been brewing on the horizon had finally struck with the brunt force that only a torrent could command. It was powerful, lighting streaking through the cluttered nighttime sky, thunder crashing in the aftermath of the sudden flashes. Rain fell relentlessly, and the few of the watch the roamed the streets seemed surrealistically apart from the world. Lars nodded to them as he made his way to the Citadel, listening to the thud of heavy drops clatter against scale armor and his own synthetic leather jacket. If it could have shut, he would have zipped it up, but the rain poured through the open slot in his chest. It was what he deserved for his vain and daring fashion. “Good eve,” the guard said as he and the men with him stopped to let the hacker pass by and hurry along. Barely Ethan responded, muted words of greeting through smoke filled lungs.

The man, known simply as Ethan or Lars, hopped up the stairs two at a time as he entered the famed Citadel halls. Monks smiled at him as he entered, warriors gave him sideways glances that spoke volumes for what they thought. He could have cared less though. Most of the people were less than non-player characters, programmed simulations of humanity… others though, others were players attached to the world of Althanas through their virtual reality simulations. Lars, he was apart from it all in a way. He was a hacker, a programmer who entered the fantasy based world outside the normal means, and in turn could see and manipulate the coding that created reality. A wanted man by the Admin, but with a position that offered power beyond what anyone else could possibly hope for.

He gripped the opening to his leather jacket, and shook it. A quick flick of coding and his clothes were dry, a very minor alteration he could command at will. The white fur lining of the jacket went from appearing to have belonged to a wet rat to fluffy and lively once again. He smiled as he ground the cigarette into the heavy door frame and flicked it back into the lightly flooded streets behind him. “Is there something we can do for you today?” One of the many robed monks had approached him with the cautious smile and commanding gait.

Masters of illusion, they were amazing and enthralled the man. He smiled in return and took in the packed ante-chamber with a quick glance. Why was he at the Citadel? Honestly the answer was easy; Lars was bored and didn’t want to be wandering in the rain swept town anymore. Plus every guard that looked his way, before the last roving pack, gave him overly suspicious looks and tended to follow him. His tight jeans and fur lined leather coat gave him the appearance of an outsider, no matter where he went, but in Corone –and especially Radasanth – that fact was not always the best thing. The civil war was waging, and any outsiders were to be considered hostile before contact with them, just in case.

“Eh,” the hacker said through a smile. “I was going to say that I’m lookin’ to be the best warrior and train… but not really. I’m just lookin’ for something to do for the night. Kinda bored, you know?” The monk smiled and patted Ethan’s shoulder as if he was a proud father. He nodded and sighed, going into a long list of battles that were open as well as other events that were currently going on. “You wouldn’t happen to have anything with a little money involved would you?” he interrupted. “I’m getting low on funds and could use a little.”

“We were told to find someone to help another, if you are so interested. Another warrior of Althanas is in need of training with his combat skills. Perchance you are interested?”


~*~

The ‘dojo’ of the eastern nation was a perfect replica. Soft wooden planks interlocked together to create the floor, each step the hacker took let off a soft click as if there were hollow spots somewhere underfoot. The few lights that hung from the heavy wooden beams overhead gave off enough light to make the entire house of combat without a shadow cast. They were quaint, Lars thought, rice paper wrapped around thin bamboo, painted by a careful hand with scenes of mountains, streams, and sun rises. Lars pushed aside a sliding door of paper and bamboo, listening to the muted sliding noise as he did so. A smile found its place on his face. Despite knowing that the place was little more than an elaborate illusion, a beautiful aesthetic ruse created by the powerful Ai’Bron monks.

“It’s a pleasure,” the hacker responded as he closed the door behind himself and looked at his pupil. The man was younger than him, by a few years at least. Nothing truly stood out about him other than his split colored eyes, which seemed to bore into the hackers own. “The name’s Ethan, though you can call me Lars if you’d like. I was told that you needed some help; somethin’ about learning how to fight? The monk wasn’t clear about exactly what you wanted to learn, but I’m pretty good with my fists and can tear a bitch up with a dagger or ten,” the man laughed as he tucked the butt of a cigarette between his tight lips. It pushed his lip ring to the side, and he tightened his chapped lips a bit harder with his smile.

“So, what’s up? What’s goin’ down for today?”

[Xos]

Xos looked his opponet over. He seemed like any average run of the mill hooligan would.

He was going to help xos learn to fight with his hands? Xos expected someone who more fit the profile of a martial artist. What was that old Cliche? Expect the unexpected? Sometimes even CLiche's were true.

"Well, I'm a wizard, and a scientist. But, my magical skills just aren't up to par yet. Rather than take the standard route and have wands, staves, and scepters at my disposal, I want to fight with my hands." Xos said.

He looked the strange person over, and decided to tell him the complete story.

"There's a powerful Extra-Multi-dimensional Super Diety known as The Consuming Darkness. I'd tell you it was like a computer virus that no one could stop leaping from network to network, but no one knows what computers are so I won't. The Consuming Darkness desires the complete destruction of all things, and has come to Althanas, to destroy it. I have to get stronger, I have to, because if I can become stronger, if we can all become stronger, The Consuming Darkness can be stopped." Xos said.

"But enough of my troubles and ultimate destruction. For now, it's just you and me, and me learning how to fight." Xos said.

Outside the citadel, a bolt of lightning struck dangerously close to the legendary building. The thunder roll even rolled into the arena, almost as if it were signaling the start of the lesson.

"Goodness, to roll through the thick walls and enchantments, that had to have been right outside the Citadel." Xos commented, adopting a fighting pose that was so incredibly wrong it was comical.

[Taskmienster]

A quizzical look painted itself clearly across the face of the younger man as Ethan introduced himself. It brought a half smile that could part just enough to keep the butt of the cig between his lips. He flicked a small silver lighter out of his chest pocket and lit the end, inhaling deeply and bracing for the thick layer of filth that would fill his lungs. The boon of the haphazard habit was the nicotine buzz that followed on the tail of the heavy drag. Slowly he let the smoke free, closing his eyes and rolling his head back as he did so. It was a horrible habit, but one that wasn’t going to go away anytime soon. Before the acrid smoke could fully leave his parted lips the man began speaking, explaining who and what he was.

It was an interesting concept, at the very least. He was a spell casting class, just like all seemed to delve into on Althanas. In fact, according to the common canon of the server, Lars could easily be considered a wizard himself… though calling himself that would only be quickly followed by a lighthearted laugh. Quickly followed by what he was, he decided to reach down deep and let out his personal story. It was a strange fact, how open people were on Althanas, but seeing as it was little more than a game Lars supposed it didn’t matter all that much to them anyway. He smiled as he listened, trying to not laugh when the man mentioned computers, servers, and some ‘all consuming darkness’ that threatened it all. Oh, if only Xos knew how wrong he was about Ethan.

However, a laugh didn’t follow the man’s speech. If there was ‘something’ trying to eat away at the coding of the server, it could very well be a virus in the Virtual Reality world. The matter would have to be looking into some other time though, and undoubtedly the admin’s were already digging at the matter. “Eh, thunder’s thunder, it happens.” Lars said with a smirk. “Anyway… about this ‘computer’ thing; I don’t believe all the deity mumbo-jumbo, but who knows. I know enough about, computers and networks in my own right, but that’s for another time and place.”

“So you’re a wizard, that’s interesting. Not sure why you’d want to learn hand to hand nonsense, but whatev. I can help you with that. Just seems somewhat trite, you know? Why fight hand to hand when you can stand outside of the immediate danger zone and throw a fuckin’ fireball?” Ethan inhaled another drag and puffed out the smoke in the shape of small rings, making a bullseye before shooting an arrow of smoke through it. Cliché, but fun. “I can help you with some fighting skill… first though, what the hell are you doing?”

The man had taken up a goofy stance, making the hacker chuckle under his breath. “First things first, I like to have a ‘hand on’ approach if you will… so you better be ready to take a few blows in order to learn how to throw them.”

Lars took a quick drag, blew the smoke out and manipulated the coding. The smoke raced for his opponent’s face, and just as soon as it would hit him the hacker lunged fast. His fist raced for the man’s stomach. He wanted to learn, the man would teach him. The first thing to learn though was what he was facing; if he didn’t know how bad it felt to get hit he would never have the frame of mind not to be hit anymore. A quick shot to the gut would send a flood of pain through him, knock out his breath, and show him what he didn’t want to happen again. After that, Ethan could start teaching him what to do to avoid it.

[Xos]

The blow caught Xos off guard and sent him reeling, eventually causing him to fall backwards. He really didn't know how take a punch, and lay there gasping for breath. Minutes later he stood, and kept his distance.

"Have you ever bent your mind to a task so hard for so long that eventually it just won't function anymore? It's the same with spellcasters. Eventually we get so tired from casting that we need a more physical means of defence, provided our opponets are strong enough to withstand our onslaught. You mentioned fireballs, and not even my fireballs are strong enough to kill yet." Xos said. He created a fireball, in the shape of a Kryptonite atom, and threw it at his opponet.

"See?" Xos asked. He didn't mention he could kill with his magic, he didn't mention he did have a lethal spell, and an even deadlier spell combination. Why let such wild cards slip?

He waited, a little more defensivly than before, ready to cast his shield at the slightest hint of sudden attack again.

[Taskmienster]

The fist was enveloped by the man’s soft stomach, the thin wicked knuckles digging into the defenseless organs. It wasn’t a nice thing to do, but by all means it was necessary. The man took another drag from his cig and let the smoke out slowly as his pupil caught his breath and rose from the ground. The man was slow, way too slow. “You know if I had a dagger,” Lars said with a deep voice as the smoke slipped from his lips, “which I normally would have in hand, you’d be fuckin’ dead. That’s just a show of what shouldn’t happen. I’m no slouch when it comes to teaching, so you’ll have to take a few blows in order to learn what you need to do later.”

The man slowly stood up and decided that it was prevalent information to explain why he was learning, which of course Lars could care less about. Why the mage was learning to fight didn’t matter, so long as there was some sort of reward to be had. If there was no reward, he’d at least have some fun pummeling the boy until he learned how to fight. “I don’t really care why you—“ the words were cut off as the man decided to show the hacker instead of speaking.

A fireball, small though it was, readily came to hand. It was a strange design, looking like a scattered atomic molecule, but with an undeniable flame appearance. The young wizard tossed it, and without thinking the hacker’s intangible connection with his ethereal keypad sparked. It was his way of ‘casting’ spells that manipulated reality, ways to decode and recode the server and world of Althanas itself. The spell he thought of was his manipulation of time. The world stopped, the man’s hand extended, the fireball static and still in the silent air. Lars moved in the two seconds he had. He pushed off the balls of his feet and rushed to the side of the fireball.

It was but a blink of an eye for the manipulation to begin, and just as quickly as it was summoned it disappeared. The ball of fire flashed to the hacker’s right side, a flash of light that was more aesthetically pleasing than of any use. “I can do that all day,” the man lied as the atomic fire struck the thin paper without catching it aflame. It continued through, dissipating as it faded from site. “And this seems to be a wonderful little training area. Nothing catches flames, which means those monks know what the hell their doing. Good to be around some competent people for a change.”

“Alright,” the hacker said as he took a quick drag and exhaled. “Let’s start this shit. You know what it feels to be punched, and I promise a dagger hurts a hell of a lot worse than that. So, first things first, unball your fists.” Lars took up a defensive stance. His knees were slightly bent, his head level so that his blue-gray eyes were staring directly into the other mans. His hands were above his waist, open palmed and fingers locked together. “If you keep your hands open you’re going to be able to deflect strikes just as easy, and you can always ball your fists up quickly to throw punches too. Again, open your hands, you can grab and throw if necessary… and it’s far easier to close your fists quickly than it is to open them and do what you will when time’s limited.”

The hacker tucked his cig in his lips and nodded to Xos. He wanted him to attack, to show him how things were supposed to work. Lars wasn’t a very defensive fighter, knew very little other than pummel the shit out of the other guy, but he always thought offense was the key to victory anyway. How useful was it to sit back and run around, never swinging? The idea was humorous to the hacker. No, throw your fists and beat the man down, get close and don’t give in… that was all there was to it.

[Xos]

Xos listened as he nodded somewhat surprised that his fireball was so effortlessly avoided. Clearly this man had powers of his own, which was how he was able to slip by his fireball so fast, but that wasn't what surprised him. What was, was that the man just seemed to jump out of the way, and so must harbor some form of dimensional magic.

Xos took mental notes, and kept his hands unballed since it was more effective.
Perhaps I can combine my magic with this style and make something newer, deadlier. A good spell is dangerous, how much more then when your expecting a chop to the gut and not a fireball?

"Alright then, enough foreplay, lets get it on." Xos said. He cracked his knuckles and his neck simultainiously, and with flat unballed hands moved in on his opponet, swinging for a blow to the nect to attack his very air supply.
Xos was dangerous, because he hailed from a world where a basic knowledge of the body was required learning. Drawing on his knowledge he knew a man that couldn't breath was a man that couldn't fight.

Besides, Xos theorised that his opponet could not infact keep jumping around all day. In theory, Teleporting like that would require large amounts of magic to do properly, and such energy did not come endlessly without some form of a price...

[Taskmienster]

The strike was smart, the man’s hands reaching for the throat of the hacker. However, the blow was premature. To strike for a vital part of the body so early, and the target area being so small, was something you didn’t do in the beginning of any fight. Lars side stepped with what little grace he could command and tossed up his arm. The blow landed on the outside of his forearm and was easily pushed aside. Instead of striking back in return, as he normally would have done at so close a range, the hacker spun away from Xos.

“Don’t be so hasty,” Lars said as he took the cig out of his mouth and flicked it to the ground. It hit the boards and bounced, the ash and ember end parting from the unfinished portion. He stepped on it and ground it into the ground. “It was a good attack, don’t get me wrong, but you just picked the wrong place. If you want to lunge in you have to be careful. Throwing fists is all good and dandy, but at the head, throat, balls… any target that’s small and easy to defend isn’t the best thing till you wear your opponent down a bit.”

Ethan smiled and popped his neck. “When your opponent isn’t expecting it you should throw a few blows towards the neck or the head, catch them when they’re off guard. Otherwise try and throw combinations at their body. A diversionary assault, followed by something unexpected. No formal style will teach you anything good, believe me… I’ve tried ‘em. All they seem to do is show you how to fight just that style. The best thing I could say is to just do whatever your instinct says to do, follow your gut and keep yourself on the balls of your feet.”

The hacker closed slowly, to show he wasn’t going to hurt the wizard. He went through a series of blows, open palms pushing the other man’s arms around, closed fists stopping just before his stomach. Instead of showing him how to use his fists, he pulled up his elbow and aimed it directly for the man’s chin. “Elbows are harder than fists, and break a lot less than the bones on the back of your hands. The bone is sharp too, and a quick blow to the brow of someone else can split it. Blood is hard to keep out of your eyes, and your eyebrows bleed like a motherfucker.”

“Alright,” he said as he stepped away and put some distance between the two. “Try again, this time be a little more conscious of where you are, where your striking, and where my arms are… if that makes any sense?”

[Xos]

Xos nodded, disapointed he couldn't just promptly end things with a quick strike to the throat. He would remember it was a good place to strike further into the fight.

As Lars showed him a series of moves Xos decided to try something dirty and underhanded.
Xos wasn't normally dirty and underhanded mind you, but something told him his opponet would appreciate the attempt at the very least.

Xos went for the chest, the arms, and a random blow to the head. Then he tried to trip Lars, and as he did, he created a small steel ball bearing beneath his foot. The ruffling of his robes would easily mask the rolling of the ball bearing. The trip attack was a distraction from the ball bearing. Xos's real goal was to make Lars trip on the ball bearing.

[Taskmienster]

Lars’ face was grimly determined as if the man was something more than a pupil, almost like a real opponent. He took up a quick stance as the man rushed towards him and started throwing his arms randomly, haphazardly. The hacker retaliated defensively, pushing his arms away, putting his open hands up to catch a fist here and push aside an outstretched arm every so often. The sudden attack towards his head, however, was exactly what he was expecting. He smashed his forearm into the blow and caught it roughly. The leg sweep was completely unexpected.

Xos dropped and left his face and throat open for a knee. Before the hacker could capitalize on the naïve wizards blunder though, he was kicking at the outside of Ethan’s leg. As quickly as he could he removed his appendage from the direction of the attack and pushed off the opposite foot. The blow landed and made him lose his balance ever so slightly, leaving his footing unsure and his retaliation ignored for the need to regain the upper hand. The real attack, however, was almost useless.

The ball bearing rolled across the smooth floor and struck the side of the hacker’s foot. It stopped uselessly and made him look down to see what exactly it was that had thudded against him. A mocking laughter filtered through his clenched lips and he kicked it back at the grounded man. “What’s that? A ball to trip on? This isn’t some cartoon… that shit doesn’t normally work in a real fight. But I gotta give you props for originality. However, you put yourself in a bad place. The kick to my legs was a good idea, caught me off guard, but didn’t do a lot of damage. Instead you put yourself closer to my legs, which will often have a lot more power behind them than a fist would. Don’t want to catch yourself on the bad side of a heavy boot with your head so close to the ground.”

“Now, though, I think it’s time we get this under way for real. I’ve shown you a little, you’ve shown me you understand it to a degree,” he said as he gave a good deal more clearance between the two. “Time to go all out and use what we have at our command; use your spells but combine them with what your learning. I don’t think anyone can learn anything without practical application… so let’s fight for real.”

[Xos]

Xos bent over and picked up the ball bearing.
"In time I will be able to make hundreds of them at once, I might even put spikes in them, you know, caltrops. But your right, I suppose it is time for this to be finished, and over with." Xos said.

Suddenly his hand thrust straight forward, as Xos cast an energy field in front of him, to shove Lars back bodily, throwing a fireball with the shield to hit him as the shield dropped after disapating.

Xos held the ball bearing tightly. All he needed was an explosion behind it to accelerate it as though shot out of a gun, and most guns used explosions equal to his arcane blast. If he had to, he would shoot his opponet. He doubted Lars even knew Xos's real danger.

[Taskmienster]

What the young man had to say about his steel ball meant nothing to the hacker. What he could do in the future, what his plans were; they were nothing but grandiose dreams to toy with later in life. All his speech did for him was give Lars a better understanding of the limits his opponent had. Instead of cowering away and letting the hacker begin the assault, as Ethan had suspected Xos would do, the wizard began the onslaught. His outstretched arm created a shield spell that was nearly invisible. It was like looking through the bottom of an empty ale mug. The man on the other side was slightly warped; just adding to the fact that the mug was not only imperfect but the ale that had preceded it was doing its job well.

Lars wasted no time and brought two daggers to either empty palm. The mechanical devise up either sleeve held five daggers each, and with a quick movement the hacker could release the spring and have a blade at the ready as if by magic. There was no magic behind the motion though, simply a technological advancement that few on Althanas would be able to wrap their pre-renaissance minds around. As soon as the shield dropped the flare of another ball of fire was following it.

The warped vision was relinquished and in its place the atomic symbol followed. One of the daggers flew from his hand towards the magical attack. It caught the center of the atom and made the spell’s affects linger and dwindle on the smooth steel surface. The flame was small and a dull red, a lackluster and weak version of the commonplace attack among almost all spell casters. “Interesting choice of attacks to begin with, but it seems that you don’t have much in the way of battle knowledge…”

As quickly as he could muster, and his speed was equivalent to twice that of a normal person, Lars rushed forward in an attempt to close the distance. As he had tried to express, he was not in any way a defensive fighter. Another dagger found the empty palm of the hand he had just used, and the other hand was extended as he threw his weapon. The blade sliced through the empty air between himself and his opponent, aimed directly at Xos’ chest. It was the biggest target, one of the easiest to attack and score any form of damage on. If it did not strike, as Lars suspected it wouldn’t, he was ready to shift towards whichever way the wizard moved and put the other dagger to practical use.

[Xos]

Xos felt disapointed that his two in one attack combo didn't work. He used Magnetisim to the fullest that he could, which wasn't that much, but it actually diverted the blade away from his vitals, by the smallest of fractions. Xos felt a moment of elation, and then sharp biting pain as the dagger bit into his chest and deflected off his rib bone landing just millimeters away from his lung. Xos new better than to heave a sigh of relief, he shot his fist forward, releasing the ballbearing.

Enough was enough. No more mister nice wizard, this fucker had to die.
Xos cast Arcane Blast on the backside of the ballbearing, accelerating it as though it had been shot from a gun. He aimed right for the skull, between the eyes, not that he was much of a marksman, but he did aim for the brain as he cast.

Xos assumed his opponet was going to die from the makeshift gunshot wound, so he turned his back and began walking out of the arena, the door was plainly evident, hidden behind a paper door belonging solely to the arena itself. his steps were slow, pain screaming through his chest from his knife wound, blood trailing behind him on the floor.

[Taskmienster]

The plain throwing blade pierced into the wizard’s chest, puncturing through the light clothing and thin skin without a hint of difficulty. It struck and yet the hacker showed little remorse or elation at the wicked blow. Instead he continued forward. Intently his blue-gray eyes watched for any little trick the man could summon. It was a near instantaneous response that followed. Xos’ hand shot forward and with it the small ball suddenly came into view. Behind the release was another jolt of magic, an unexpected and surprisingly fast blast.

Without thinking, Lars let his legs stop pumping him forward and allowed his forward momentum to drop him towards the ground. Overhead he could hear the whistle of the steel ball as it passed by him. The wake of its passage was not so unforgiving though. A burst of what felt like solidified air struck him before his hands even reached the wooden floors. He felt his shoulders slump and his boots slide as he winced and attempted to push against the arcane forces at work.

“I don’t fuckin’ think so,” Ethan yelled at the back of his would be pupil. The man had turned, shown him his back, as if the fight had taken its conclusion. He rose quickly from the ground and reached inside his leather coat with his empty hand. There was no blade waiting, but something far more intimidating. The twelve millimeter hand gun that he kept tucked away was pulled out. Though it was broken, and without bullets, he wanted to make his position clear. As if to make his point more clearly known he pulled back the weapon and cocked it, the ‘check check’ noise bounding off the simplistic wooden floors. “You know what servers are, and computers, then you probably know what this is… Turn the fuck around and finish this shit.”

Lars was not without his own resources. The wizard knew a few tricks, and had used them, but had shown no personal stalwart attitude on learning. He had thrown his few practice punches, and had been dealt a grievous wound, but to what end? Had he gotten anything out of the entire visit to the citadel? Or was Ethan just part of a grand waste of time?

“I’ll put this away and play fair, if you want to actually finish this. Or we can do it the hard way, and I can put a goddamned bullet through your naïve little head…”

[Xos]

But Xos had already turned with some amusement when Lars hit the floor. He actually laughed openly at Lars.
"Primitive weaponry doesn't scare me. It's only a bullet wound and death. We both know the monks will revive us, make us whole once more, so your threat is completly meaningless. But I shall kill you, you seem to want it so." Xos said with a chuckle. He didn't mention he had enough strength left for one more Arcane blast, but this one wouldn't serve as the source of a makeshift gun, this one would be applied directly for the body.

"So in the intrests of fair play, I shall allow you to rise before I kill you. I'm going to kill you with my right hand, keep an eye on it." Xos said, taunting Lars.

He held himself in a defensive stance Lars would be proud of. All semblance of idiocy, naïvity, and general apathy that he had shown earlier were gone. This was the Xos that had worked his tail off to graduate the top of his class with the highest possible distinctions. He knew he didn't have long though, the knife wound was slowly weakening him.

[Taskmienster]

Lars looked around and wanted to laugh, but the emotion wasn’t there. The man seemed to be as stupid as he was childish. The dagger was deep in his chest, and yet he seemed to show no pain and instead let his cockysure words speak volumes for his incompetence. The blood was slipping freely from the open wound, and with every movement of Xos the dagger in turn moved. A small puddle of blood was beginning to form at his feet, a sharp contrast to the smooth, glossy auburn coloration of the wooden planks. The hacker put away the firearm and put his hands out to either side.

A light click was the only report of the next pair of daggers coming to his soft palms. “I’m already on my feet, and I don’t want to watch and wait. Just do what you will, I know you’ll run out soon enough, no mage can cast over and over.” Lars watched with interest at what the man would summon, perhaps another small metal object, accompanied with the same blast from earlier. The distance between the two would make it easy to avoid a head strike, and he could only hope that whatever little trinket he summoned would be aimed for his leather jacket.

“Come on then,” he taunted, “Try and kill me. You said you didn’t want to rely only on magic, but I see you’re just as cowardly as I had assumed. Some grand waste of fuckin’ time this has been…”

[Xos]

"Your damn right it's a waste of time. My time. Your the worst fucking teacher I've ever had the misfortune of ever running accross. You talk about teaching hands, and then use daggers, fine teacher you are. Oh yeah, you use hands, no magic, nevermind how inexperienced you are, I'm going to use daggers. You don't teach Geology by teaching Meterology moron! This fight ends, now." Xos said bereting his opponet, and ended by casting his last spell, one more Arcane Blast, directly on Lar's neck, the little explosions would form a line horizontally.

Afterwards, he turned and stormed out of the arena, whether lars died or not.
"I QUIT!" he yelled as he left.

Outside in the hall he collapsed in agony he had been hiding from his opponet.

Confused monks stood around looking at each other, someone had actually quit? Such a thing was unheard of.

[Taskmienster]

Lars felt no remorse at taunting the stupid mage. He was relying on magic, as he said he didn’t want to do, and not using anything the hacker had taught him. Instead of accepting that he was doing exactly what he had clearly stated he did not want to do, he contradicted himself. Xos was an imbecile, which was all the hacker could assume. Just because he could teach hand to hand combat did not mean that relied solely on it. Just because the wizard knew how to use hand to hand combat did not mean that he would use only that, plainly. His tirade was unwarranted and childish, but Ethan expected very little else from the man by that point.

Just as he had promised the attack came from his right hand. The blast was invisible and small, but issued forth just as the first attack of arcane energy had. Small pings of pain exploded across the hacker’s throat and upper torso. He was knocked flat on his ass, and left for dead. But death was not something that he accepted easily, and the pre-programmed ability to boost his constitution kicked in as soon as he was struck.

The daggers fell harmlessly to either side of him as he reached for his throat and watched the boy storm out like a child not given their way. “Just like I thought,” the hacker said through gritted teeth as he swallowed carefully and slowly. “He wants to learn how not to rely on magic, and all he did was show that no matter what person came into here to teach him he was too close minded to learn anything.”

The hacker gathered himself and his weapons and stood slowly. He let his eyes linger on the arena and take in the setting more fully. The swinging lamps rested on the walls unharmed. Sliding doors of rice paper were almost completely untouched, except for one where Xos’ fireball had burst through. It was a sad sight; to leave a pristine arena made for battle in almost the exact same state he had entered it. “Too bad,” he muttered as he made his way towards the exit. “Maybe next time someone will put in some sort of effort to make up for the immense magic that the monks wasted…”

((Done and submitting))

[Breaker]

Wax on, Wax off.
Battle Judgement

Well, this certainly wasn't what I expected. I don't think I've judged anything by either of you in awhile (ever?) so be warned, I can be fairly brutal with my commentary. Just keep in mind that it's all meant with love, and that I want you both to improve. If you need clarification on something or want a little extra help, feel free to catch me on AIM.

Xos' scores will be in red, Taskmienster's in blue.

STORY

Continuity ~ 4 ~ 6

Xos: You gave me a little backstory with the Consuming Darkness in the beginning, talked about it for awhile, then forgot about it completely. At the very least, you should have linked it up in your last post. You used one of the most conventional Citadel storylines (I'm here to get better), and when you use something I've seen a hundred times before, you need to find ways to make it original and interesting. What makes your experience at the Citadel different from the potential thousands that take place there every day?

Task: Your intro was also fairly generic, but you at least tailored it to your character and made it seem natural. You summed up your character's past well, and kept the few plot elements present throughout. This was decent without really being exceptional, although I give you props for the way you took hold of the storyline in post #10.

Setting ~ 3 ~ 6.5

Xos: I actually feel generous giving you a 3 here. The descriptions in your first few posts were uninspired and list-like. You selected a generic setting and again failed to make it original in any way, then described Ethan as a "run of the mill hooligan", which directly contrsted Taskmienster's own description of the character. You proceeded to ignore the setting for the rest of the battle. The only reason this isn't a 1 or 2 is because I liked how the monks generated a tavern in the beginning.

Task: Your work here was above-average without truly being noteworthy. Your descriptions were good, and you had some nice moments with the smoke and the fireproof walls. You should think about spicing them up more often with literary devices (see technique). Remember to think with all five senses. Also, sometimes you seemed to forget the setting. I know it's aggravating to write about the same setting in every post, so work on finding something new to observe about or do to the area in each post. A little extra effort and you could be pulling in top-notch scores here.

Pacing ~ 4 ~ 5

Xos: A big part of pacing is the ability to keep the reader captivated, and you seldom did this. Things like the long, irrelevant monologues (see dialogue) and the surrealistic nature of things (see action) in your writing really alienate me. The soliloquy in post #3 actually made me want to stop reading, which is the opposite of your goal.

Task: You're a good writer, and that alone normally keeps me into the story. However, you have a tendency (particularly prevalent in your first few posts) to write fairly busy/longwinded paragraphs. Ordinarily these are somewhat harmless, but when you place one at the beginning of a thread, the beginning of a post, or during an action sequence, it throws the flow off.

CHARACTER

Dialogue ~ 3 ~ 6

Xos: Dialogue was probably the only thing that represented Xos' very weak personality (see persona). It seems like everything Xos says is a long monologue or a cliche one liner. This is just bad dialogue, made worse by things like in post #5 where Xos is hurt so badly by a punch to the gut he lays on the floor for a few minutes, then gets up and speaks, apparently not winded at all. Then in post #15 he took a knife wound and still wasn't breathing hard. And if you're going to make references to things like computers and guns, you need to explain how Xos knows about them; don't assume I've read your profile, because a casual reader probably wouldn't. Try imagining yourself in Xos' given situation and figure out how his physical condition and surroundings would affect his speech. Also, don't forget to add thoughtful details like body language.

Task: It seems like you're falling just short of the mark of excellence in many areas. Your dialogue was in character and interesting, and you used gestures and the like to great effect. However, I felt like there was just too much talking in this thread. Yes, you're teaching him, but isolating the dialogue and making it a little simpler could have helped. You also made the same mistake as Xos in not thinking about the effects of the battle on Ethan's breathing. Even in a somewhat slow-paced fight, being lethally attacked should get the heart rate up and the adrenaline flowing.

Action ~ 2 ~ 7

Xos: Your use of action was decidedly poor. Except for the incredibly cliche "cracking" in post #7, you almost never used any actions that helped form Xos' character. Fighting by its very nature is exciting and entrancing, but you make it boring and hard to follow.

That aside, I have problems with numerous events in this battle. You play Xos like a superhuman; he's never winded, has an apparently perfected control over physical pain, and despite being sickly skinny, he demonstrates a high level of athleticism. I weigh 150 lbs. and am often described as skinny at 5'11". Xos is seven inches taller than me, which would make him... well, definitely not an athlete. I also noticed a few instances of what is, technically speaking, powergaming. If Xos is able to move the energy shield and use it as a weapon, that needs to be in your profile. Most unrealistic of all was the "gunshot" ballbearing. Without having some sort of barrel, Xos would have NO HOPE of aiming the blast, especially using a round object. And even if Arcane Blast is as strong as a gunshot (again, that should be in your profile), it isn't concentrated the way a firearm's blast is. In the future, please put some serious thought into whether the things Xos does correlate with his abilities, and work some plausibility in there somewhere.

Task: Good work here: the way Ethan used the cigarette and other objects helped build his character, and he even managed to act somewhat like a teacher in the beginning. I thought you missed a neat oppurtunity when he was blocking and delivering punches and had the cigarette in his mouth though. At the very least, it should have been souting smoke and ash as he exhaled with each strike. You could have taken it even farther and had him bite the thing in half. You also fell into a few thickening traps such as passive voice, but I'm not going to get into that right now. If you want to give your action sequences some extra snap, IM me and I'll elaborate.

Persona ~ 2 ~ 7.5

Xos: As I mentioned before, the only thing that gives Xos any personality is his haughty, self-righteous dialogue. However, you demolished this solitary element of persona when he threw that crazy bitch fit, which as I said in action, was also physically implausible. As a character, Xos is just annoying, and not in an interesting way.

Task: I have almost no notes for you in persona, and I think that's because you played the character quite well. I liked the reactions to the ball bearing and the way Ethan slowly got pissed at Xos seemed very genuine. I threw in the extra .5 because you did a good job of handling the wizard's insane outburst.

WRITING STYLE

Technique ~ 1 ~ 6

Xos: I felt like giving you a 0, but that seemed needlessly cruel. I didn't notice any significant use of literary devices. My suggestion here is that you read a few JC threads, or anything by some of our more experienced writers, and focus on their use of metaphors and other devices.

Task: When you used them, your literary devices were good, but you need to use them more. They can really help bring your character and the setting to life, especially when you get into personnification and combine metaphor with foreshadowing. Still, you show promise. I really liked the beer mug analogy in post #12. I actually read that part twice, not because I didn't understand it but just because it was great. Simply put, there's no reason not to have something like that at least once a post.

Mechanics ~ 5 ~ 8

Xos: Aside from the ordinary errors and typos, which were fairly numerous, you have a real problem with capitalization. These mistakes actually occurred often enough that it disrupted the flow of your writing.

Task: Pretty solid. The only recurring error I noticed was the use of "your" in place of "you're". Watch out for those.

Clarity ~ 5 ~ 7

I'm somewhat fatigued from writing all these comments, so for this I'm just gonna say re-read everything else. My notes for clarity tend to mirror all the other sections, anyway.

MISCELLANEOUS

Wild Card ~ 3 ~ 6

Taskmienster, I was tempted to deduct a point for that slanderous line where Ethan said "formal styles" don't work. I think he needs a lesson in asskicking from Josh :P

TOTAL ~ 32 ~ 65

Taskmienster is the winner!

EXP and GP Rewards

Taskmienster gains 1100 EXP and 715 GP
Xos gains 100 EXP and 178 GP

Other Rewards

The monks give Xos a book on Citadel etiquette.

The monks give Ethan a book on martial arts.

[Witchblade]

EXP and GP added!