The Carnival of Lost Souls (Solo)

[Valanthe]

Wrong account again! Iggy this post.

[Rahegalhoff]

My name is Gerald Rofenmsky, scholar and historian in the Scara Braen Historical Society, and I am placing this note with a document found in a sealed glass jar off the coast of Scara Brae some time ago. When the Document was found it was most fortunate that it was found by a lower ranking fellow member of the society. The document was examined thoroughly, and the monastery mentioned in the first section of the document, and again at the end has been found and verified to be true and existing as described, and the monks in turn verified that all events in this manuscript took place. However, all attempts to find the central figure in this document have proven to be in vain. We searched Istraloth, we combed through Corone, we ransacked Raiaera, Salvar, Alerar, Dheathain, even ventured into Haidia and the Anti-firmament to find this Rahegalhoff Mesquchoku and both seek to provide him with a concerned and well-educated ear to lay his troubles on, and to ask him further clarifying questions about the events and horrors he was subjected to.

Alas, it seems as though he as disappeared from Althanas entirely, unless he hides in one of the many planes we were unable to reach, or perhaps hides in some remote as-of-yet unexplored region of Althy. Wherever he is, I pray to the gods someone helps him soon, or he may cross so deeply into the realm of evil, as to become something entirely new and unseen, something I pray to never witness in my lifetime.

There are spots in the following document that are faded, or smudged slightly, yet still legible, as though stained by tears. Most notably the first, third, and fifth parts. Available at the materials desk are complete copies with the faded and smudged sections fixed for better reading, should you find yourself unable to read the originals.
_________________________

“… and so remember, a man can only be subjected to so much horror, before he becomes a horror himself. Where I ask you is The Light when midnight has become it’s darkest. Where is Hope when Despair is all that surrounds you? Know this then, seek your virtues, do your good deeds, but know they are in vain, and after a time, you too shall become as I, Lord and Master of the things that go bump in the night." – Excerpt from the Book of Darkness, Chapters of The Doom knight.

My name is Rahegalhoff Mesquchoku, and during my final moments of clarity, my last moments of sanity, I wish to relay on paper the events that have brought me to this point. It starts, well, it starts a few years ago, on my farm in southern Corone. I lived a peaceful happy life, I bothered no man, and no man bothered me. I grew my crops, raised my animals, and made a modest living with my deals I forged with the merchants at the local Bazaar. I had a wife, and a son. I loved them both dearly, I raised my son good and properly, as an honest man should, I toiled and worked my very blood into the land to send him to school to see to it his future was better than mine. I couldn’t complain though, I was happy, and had a happy marriage with a good loving wife. If that knight in the black armor and his toadies hadn’t showed up, I might’ve lived and died on that farm, quite contentedly.

That knight, that loathsome black knight! How his eyes did burn with a black rage. I could tell his intentions were no good, aggrieved as he was by some past wrong, an eternal vengeance it seemed he had sworn to take out on the world itself. He seemed quite old, for his hair was white, and it seemed as if the weight of eternity rested on his shoulders. He rode a frightening pale black horse. Something seemed wrong with it, but I could not tell what, for it was for all intents and purposes, completely healthy. I wanted no part in this man’s history, I was upset that I was already forced to have at least a small footnote in it. I knew I was going to lose something with this man, no matter what I did. I thought of my crops and my livestock, and prayed in my heart that was all I lost. Where are the Corone Rangers when you need them?

The man demanded food and shelter. It seemed a simple enough request, but at the mention of food, his horse looked right at me and licked it’s lips, as though I were dinner. I swear to this day I saw Demon in those eyes. That was the proverbial straw that broke the camels back. Holding my rake a little tighter, I told the man to be on his way. That was when something heavy hit me on the back of the head, and out I went.

I awoke to the sight of my wife and son dead, my crops, my house, my animals, all dead and burning. I was alone, all alone. I think I would’ve starved to death had it not been for Brother Albert. A member of a strange and reclusive order, he served as their abbot. He said he was told by higher powers that I needed him, and so here he was.

I shall gloss over my time with Brother Albert and his order, for that time in and of itself could fill a dozen manuscripts or more. However, he gave me a new purpose in life, vengeance, though he himself did not mean to give me vengeance. He taught me the ways of the sword, and marvelous techniques to use with them. He taught me how to wear armor, and use a shield. In short, he made me a knight. Then he removed me from the normal flow of time. After making me a man anew, he turned me loose upon the world.

I wondered the world for a time, until I was contacted again by Brother Albert, who told me of a brother order of monks, who dealt exclusivly with spirits and the afterlife. He said he thought that if I could find my wife and son, I might find some peace at long last. So I boarded a boat for Istraloth, where he said they dwelled.

It seems this other order knew of my coming, for I was greeted with open arms and told to make ready, for they were sending me to the Anti-firmament that very night. I went to my rooms, rather I was forced into my rooms; the brothers didn’t seem very accepting to let me wander the halls. I know not what their preparations involved, but I heard strange other worldly noises, and a great buzzing as great swarms of flies.

Finally, they were ready. They took me to the darkened, blackened room which held no light of any kind, and shut me inside. I, I don’t know how long I had been walking, but it seemed like I had always been walking, walking with all these others beside me. They had dead lifeless eyes. Some had terrible mortal wounds, one was even carrying his head. We were walking towards this great gathering of strange lights, and it seemed as though we had no power to pull ourselves away from it.

We walked among the lights, and past a gate, and then a great voice spoke to us, from these strange magic artifacts that carried one’s voice many locations.

"Welcome Ladies and Gentlemen to the circus of the strange, the sideshow of the sinister, and the theater of the bizarre. Enter a realm of dark wonders to indulge in your wickedest dreams. Bored of terror? Explore the shadows of your most diabolical nightmares. Cast your eyes on the cruel oddities of nature, and behold monstrous creatures from the depths of the abyss. Marvel with awe and dismay at unbelievable death defying acts that teeter on the very brink of doom! Leave the mundane world behind, for those who visit this festival of phantasms are never the same again. Step this way, there's no turning back..." the voice called.

Music played from the devices, the same tune, over and over. As a funeral dirge it was, and yet, bouncy, and happy, as though it was a festival.
The occupants of this strange place we all dead, in once fashion or another, I was the only living soul among them all, but now I must wonder if even that was true, for ever since my loss, I have felt dead inside.

It didn’t matter, for I knew where I was, as much as anyone knows when it is daylight; an instinctive knowledge hidden deep within our minds, waiting for the right time to be used. The announcer was right; there is no turning back from where I was, for I was trapped in The Carnival of Lost Souls.

[Rahegalhoff]

I walked among the creatures that made up the carnival’s customers. Yet they all seemed as freakish as the employees of this sadistic carnival of demonic horrors. I walked past a woman who drank a clear fluid, and then spat out fire. She wore a white dress soaked with blood. Not too far away was a man juggling four swords, two daggers, an axe, and his own head.

In a green a company of skeletons danced a macabre style, jumbling each other together, forming horrendous creatures in the process. A sign not far away from them offered to let witnesses see a beheading. Still I walked on, inadvertently following the sign. I followed a crowd into a small building where we all took a seat. A young, vaguely familiar man was lead to a stage where stood the fearsome headsman, dressed as they usually are in complete black attire. The headsman was a burly fellow, who hefted a stout axe covered in blood. The young victim was struggling to be free, and yet was tied down to a tree stump, his head clamped down by irons so the headsman could get at his neck. The Headsman spat on his hands, rubbed them together, lifted the axe, and paused at the apex of his backswing, only to bring the axe down on the innocent young man’s neck. I say innocent because those were his last words. With a sickening splatter, his head fell on the ground, his eyes seeming to fix themselves on me. To my horror, I felt a smile creeping across my face, and it wouldn’t stop. To make matters worse, I thought I was going to be sick, but instead began to laugh openly, long, loud and hard at the youth’s fate. His eyes seemed so sad, which made me laugh all the harder. My laughter caused the audience to join with me. We all laughed, what monsters were we, to laugh at injustice as though it were a comedy. The man was quite dead; I went down and checked his body out personally. He had been living only hours before it seemed, and in the wrong spot at the wrong time was brought to the carnival to die.

I made my way out of the building smiling merrily. I began to think this place wasn’t so horrific after all, only misunderstood. Misunderstood? The whole place was one nightmare after another! The games dead things play are not meant for living eyes to see. I looked at the faces going by, looking for my wife or son. Walking down one avenue after another, I spotted a fortune teller’s tent, and knew I was in luck. If anyone could help me, it was a fortune teller.

The tent was purple, had a star in a circle, and the tent flap was adorned by a dead goat’s head. Inside, a skeleton of a woman sat behind a crystal ball. Apparently no one had been to see her in ages, for the entire inside was covered in cobwebs of all sorts. Yet clearly she knew I was there, for orbs of yellow light in her eyes followed my every move. Her hand lifted off the table and beckoned at the chair opposite her that stood vacant and empty. I sat down and looked at her, even as she continued to look at me.

“I need help, I’m looking for my wife and son.” I told her.
“All services cost one Carnival Token per dispensation.” She said, which her voice was the only way by which I knew she was female. Even if it did sound a bit like an old crone’s voice.
“Tokens, what tokens? I never saw anywhere to purchase anything.” I said, confused.
“This first one’s free then. All who enter the carnival have tokens with them, belted at their waist. You have one hundred tokens, one hundred shards of your soul. Give them all to the carnival, and the carnival owns your soul. Even giving one away gives the carnival a hold on your soul from which it will never release.” The fortune teller said.
I felt my waist, and sure enough, I had tokens at my waist. I spotted something shining on the ground, at the same though, and picked it up. Behold, it was a token, someone else’s. I gave it to the fortune teller repeating my first request. The fortune teller smiled at my actions.
“Wise indeed to spend someone else’s life instead of your own; Hoxel Atyle, the last fragment of your soul now belongs to The Carnival of Lost Souls. We own you, now and forever.” She said, as though speaking to someone else. Then she tapped her crystal ball, and began rubbing it, as though clearing away an internal fog. I however, saw nothing.
“That which we look for is not always what we seek. Madame Esmerelda sees your path going into the desert, a great nameless city hidden from all eyes. That which you seek will be found before you escape the carnival of lost souls, but that which you look for is eternally beyond your grasp. Beware the master, for he is watching you. The storm is coming, the storm is coming.” She said, looking at her crystal ball. Then her hands rested on either side of it again, and she looked up at me and just sat there watching me.
I was confused, and she knew it.
I got up, and turned to leave.
“Thank you.” I said, at least trying to be polite, even if I didn’t feel helped at all.
“You will understand in time, as it is appropriate, everyone does eventually. There is one more thing, a free gift, it will help you when the time comes. The shelf to your right, it contains a box of purple wood, lined with red velvet. Take it, and outside, open it. Inside is a precious rare soul crystal, that is, a crystallized soul. It is a very powerful item, that you can only use once. The one you use it on will eventually give you a new power.” Madam Esmerelda said.
I took the box, and outside, opened it. Inside was a crystal glowing with the might of the noonday sun. I turned to thank Madam Esmerelda, but her tent was gone, completely vanished as though it had never been there.

I looked up into the infinite expanse that was the rest of the anti-firmament. I saw nothing that indicated a storm as I understood them was coming.
What did she mean by I would find that which I seek before before I leave but that which I look for is beyond my grasp, weren’t they the same thing?
Confused, I decided to look around the carnival some more for my wife. If only I had turned tale and ran at that point.

[Rahegalhoff]

So as I was walking through the carnival, it seemed to grow darker, more ominous, more sinister. The guests and employees both looked at me strangely, and some seemed to snicker at me. I stopped and watched a man clothed in fire chew an ice crystal and blow a fog my direction. I smiled and moved on, coming to a large building.
“The Mirror Maze of truth and torment: five tokens.” A sign read out front. A demon stood out front to collect money and guard the gate. He eyed me wearily, as though he thought I was going to stiff him and force my way through the gate. I thought about it, but then, what are five measly tokens of one’s soul? Surely it wouldn’t be all that bad, and it did seem a pleasant place after all. I fished out five tokens from my pouch, and the demon smiled, it put one hand on the gate that lead inside, and held the other out. I placed the tokens in his hand, and he put them in a secure box that indicated refunds were not possible. I didn’t feel any different, so perhaps the gypsy’s warning didn’t mean anything. I stepped through the gate, and the demon closed it behind me. As he did, a wall slid closed in front of it. It held a mirror, showing an exit, all the mirrors did. Light came from the exit. I began to feel my way through the maze. Truly it was a most diabolical maze, for just as it seemed I had found my way in one direction, it seemed to change on me, almost as if the maze itself were changing layouts around me. The walls as one might suspect were entirely of mirrors. But so too were the floors and ceiling; Some strange unbreakable mirror that perfectly mirrored all things, thus making it exceptionally difficult to find one’s way.

I noticed the reflections in the mirror change slowly. There was a woman and young boy in the maze, I was not alone. Then I noticed the exit was no longer in view, so I was right in thinking the layout was changing. Cheaters. Then my heart stopped as I caught sight of who the woman and boy were, Iola and Corin, my wife and son!
“IOLA!” I yelled out at the top of my lungs. They turned around, and caught sight of me, or my reflections, and then seemed to turn and run in terror.
“Murderer! Traitor! I loved you. Why, why did you kill us?” Iola cried as she herded Corin through the maze.
“I never murdered you!” I cried, hurt by her groundless accusation.
“You certainly weren’t trying to save us!” she shouted back at me, tears streaming down her eyes.
“I was knocked out. You have to believe me, I would never hurt you, I love you too much.” I cried, it felt like a great weight was upon my shoulders.
“LIAR!” Corin shouted, as Iola picked him up and fled out of sight. I think perhaps she triggered a switch or something, for I heard walls moving and saw her run out of the exit.
“No.” I cried, falling to my knees, my hands covering my eyes as I cried. How could she accuse me of hurting her? I was no monster, I was no murderer. I would never hurt my wife and son, I loved them too much.
“Why?” I questioned my reflection. But it only stared at me in silence.
I had to find them, I struggled to my feet, and stumbled through the maze, but another switch caused the maze to change again.

I groaned in despair, knowing that every second gave them more and more ground, but providence surely shown upon me it seemed, for there was a fourth person in the maze, the same black knight that killed my wife and son. I could have my revenge at long last. I knew it was him, for I recognized his crest, a vortex of some sort, drawing in all around it.
“YOU MONSTER!” I yelled at the knight in black plate mail. He looked at me, visor down, face obscured. I could tell he was smiling., I could just feel it.
“Well, if it isn’t our intrepid hero, out to save the day are we?” the knight asked. His voice sounded familier, but it had a dark and sinister bent to it. It was the sort of voice that made children wake up at knight crying for mommy, the sort of voice that made full grown adults doubt themselves. It was a voice that haunted my every waking moment, and my every slumber.
“Fiend! I shall carve my vengeance from your hide!” I said, anger in my heart, fueling my thirst for vengeance.
“I must complement your fine choice of a wife, I found her charms most satisfying. She was unyielding, a true faithful wife. I found her efforts to fight me off most invigorating, and made taking what I wanted from her even more gratifying. Your son, what a brave little soldier he was, found daddy’s hunting dagger and rushed me with it. A blow to the head fixed him, permanently.” The knight said with a chuckle.
Anger turned to outright hatred, knowing what he did.
“Bastard, show yourself, let us solve this personally!” I shouted.
“Why, I’m right in front of you, can’t you see me?” asked the knight, indicating the mirrors in front of me.
“Not your reflection, I want you personally!” I growled, moving through the maze. I punched a mirror, hard. It cracked, and promptly repaired itself.
The knight meanwhile laughed openly at me.

Finally, I made my way to a large central area, made of one massive spherical mirror. In the center, he was there. He wore plate mail armor, blacker than the darkest night, and the cruelest heart. The handle, and pommel of his sword were just as black, but the blade was blood red, and made of a strange metal that made me feel sick just looking at it. He even had a black cape. His shield was a large one, covering most of his body. It was covered in spikes like my own.
“Now you die.” I said with a note of finality.

I struck the knight with my sword, shattering his shield, his armor, and his sword. He was just an illusion of light made by the mirrors.
“Still beyond my grasp, show me your face, that I might know who took my family from me.” I said to the knight in black armor.
“Fine, but once you know who killed your wife and son, remember, you can’t ever go back. It will change you forever.” The knight said.
“I can live with that.” I said.

Anxiously I waited as the knight lifted his helmet, higher, and higher, and then I recoiled in horror, for the man in the black armor, the man who killed my family and thrust me into this situation, was myself.

[Rahegalhoff]

The knight in black armor, the mirror image of me, faded away in haunting laughter.
“Lies, all of it, lies.” I said to myself, and kept saying to myself. A pathway faded into view, I followed it, lost in a haze of thoughts. Guilt weighed on me heavily. Was it really my fault they died through inaction? The thought haunted me as I exited the Maze. It wasn’t a straight path mind you, there were plenty of twits, turns, dead ends and double backs, but I cannot recall anything of interest; it was damnably hard though. I exited and pressed the demon at the exit for information of where my wife and daughter went. Yet the demon responded in confusion saying I had been the maze’s only customer the whole day.

Confused, and guilt ridden, I sat down on a nearby bench, my head in my hands lost in thought. It couldn’t of been my fault, I did all I could, didn’t I? No, there had to have been something more I could’ve done. Maybe stand watch the whole night as I let them spend the night. Maybe, but what then if they decided to come over and do the same thing again, only this time killing me too? It would’ve been worth it, so long as I died beside my wife. But Iola wouldn’t of wanted me to die, nor would Corin, they would’ve wanted me to live, to enact revenge if nothing else. Yet how could I? All I had to go on was a symbol no one had ever heard of. I was a failure, a complete failure.

I sat there in my melancholy brooding when the sounds of an oboe brought me out of my thoughts. I had not heard an oboe often, but I chanced upon a bard one time when I went to market to sell my crops that played a merry tune for all to hear. I never quite forgot its enchanting sound. I followed it to a large tent capable of seating a small audience. One was seated already, but I found an open spot up front. A well tanned man in a fallien style turban was playing. There were three baskets in a row. The central basket remained motionless, and was the largest of the three, but a great hissing arose from it from a single snake that must have been quite huge. One snake emerged from the basket to the left, it was red, and looked at a blue snake that had arisen from the far right basket. They swayed in time to the oboe player’s melody, never taking their eyes off him, as though they were going to eat him.

The melody changed slightly, at first it had been slow, but picked up as a new rhythm began playing. The basket lids remained on their heads, either through extraordinary balance, or some other force. They crawled about in the large space between the player and the three baskets, the audience delighting in the intricate patterns they were making. I myself found their patterns to be fascinating, but felt it was somehow, lacking, but I wasn’t sure what. A great hiss from the central basket caused the snakes to circle it several times, before the snakes slithered into the audience. Something about that central basket kept me fascinated, my focus trained on it’s motionless form, even as the pace of the melody quickened slightly. I stood, not entirely knowing why, taking a step forward. The snakes crawled back to the central area, was it my imagination, or were they larger than before?

I stood there, in rapt fascination, as the lid of the central basket moved slightly, falling off the side. I thought a snake would arise, but a pair of slender arms arose, the fingers tracing symbols in the air, and descending back in the basket. I remember them well, they were as white as chalk, as driven snow, they lacked color completely. The nails on the fingers seemed long and sharp. They were red, as blood. There were patches of gold in the hands, almost as though they were infact covered by a lady’s gloves.

The arms rose again, as the red and blue snakes disappeared behind me, and I realized they were covered in reptilian scales, but they were soft, and smooth, as a lady’s skin should feel. I know this, for they were attached to a beautiful lady who came over and wrapped them around me. Her eyes were as a snakes, a soft golden yellow in color. Her lips were as her nails. She had a great pair of fangs. Her body was as white as her arms, yet her chest and shoulders were covered in patches as gold, as though she wore a fancy shirt, yet it was the natural color of her scale. Even her hair was white, and it seemed to descend just past her shoulders.

Looking down I realized this woman was a snake herself, for where her lower torso and legs should be, was the body of a great snake. Surely she was seventeen feet in length. She pulled me forward towards her basket and I offered no resistance, so entranced was I by her spell. I stood before her basket and heard a jingle, but was too absorbed to investigate it. She let go of me, and I stood there, as she danced around the central pole that held up the tent. Her body glowed, and when it faded, she wasn’t a snake woman anymore, though her eyes and fangs remained. Her lips, her luscious, full beautiful lips were still as red as they ever were, but her hands were hidden inside a pair of shoulder length gloves. The hands were golden in color. She wore a long white robe, with a chest that was also golden in color. Her skin was as most normal wood elves, and her hair was as a drow’s. Truly she was an enchanting woman, I could not take my eyes off of her, nor did I want to. She continued her intricate dance, and I watched in fascination as her body moved in interesting ways beneath her robes.

The speed of the music picked up again and I sensed that the show must soon end, and to this end I was most disappointed, for I did not want this woman to leave my sight. She became a complete snake, with a head gold, and patches of gold along her pure white body. She slithered to the music player and wrapped her coils around him. She became a snake woman again, and her hair turned out to be a cobra hood. Her mouth opened to an unnatural size, and her hood covered what happened next. When she moved, the bard making the music was gone, and her belly had become much larger, though All I really noticed, was how the music did not cease. With a smile she came and wrapped her arms around me again, her jaws back to normal size. She kissed me soundly with those beautiful lips, and I lost all consciousness.

I woke up, in my bedroom, back on my farm. I was confused, was everything that happened a dream? Did I have a second chance? No, my heart fell when I looked out a window and saw the carnival waiting for me outside. My arms fell to my side and alarm spred as I tried in vain to find my pouch of tokens. It was gone, that damn snake woman stole my soul!

[Rahegalhoff]

I stepped back from the window, seething in anger. Voices were in my head, whispering to me, telling me to do things, commanding me. They were ordering me to act as part of the show, telling me I now belonged to the carnival. The master owned me now. Whoever that was, I didn’t care. I bumped into a wall, and discovered I had something on my back. I felt it, it was a turn key, like for a toy horse, or doll I see Alerarian merchants selling sometimes in the merchants quarters of the small village I lived near. Doll, yes, it seemed I was to act as a giant toy doll. The key was turning in my back. It wasn’t literally in my back mind you, but to all appearences it was. I left my humble quarters I normally shared with my wife, and discovered she was in the main room of our small humble abode. She had a key on her back to, only she was a complete doll. So was my son.

“No! Not dolls! Please don’t tell me you were caught and trapped by the carnival. Please.” I begged and pleaded. She walked over to me in a slow jerky manner. She patted me on the back a few times. I put my arms around her, and brought her close. Staring deep into her glassy eyes, I found nothing of the woman I used to love. Anger stirred in my heart against the carnival, even as tears welled in my eyes, the pain of losing her as fresh as the day it actually happened. My son, nothing was there of the little boy who idolized a certain legendary Corone ranger, almost as much as he idolized his daddy.
“No! I won’t take part in your play! I’m no man’s slave!” I shouted defiantly. I ripped the little box off my back that held the turn key and dashed it against the floor drawing my sword and readying my shield.

That was when I noticed the monster in the corner. I pressed forward, some remaining sense of protectiveness for the image of my wife surging through me, but discovered I was now somehow trapped by an unbreakable glass barrier. I tried to break it, both with my sword and my shield, but it was resilient against my attacks. The monster in the corner came forward into the light, and it bore my image! It was as I was, in armor and everything, but it was fatter, flabbier, and uglier.

The doll of Iola came forward and kissed the monster, and turned to go prepare breakfast. I watched as my son’s doll walked over to hug the monster, but the monster pushed him away. This brought another round of trying to break the glass, I’d never push my son away. EVER! The monster walked over to my son’s doll and helped him up, and gave him a hug, and then pushed him away, slapping him against the wall, and shattering him. That glass was truly unbreakable, it had the strength of steel it seemed. My son’s doll reformed, and at that point, Iola brought out some breakfast. The monster ate some of it, and threw the rest of it.

Sure, I admit sometimes her cooking wasn’t the best in the world, but I still ate it, I never complained. Sometimes Corin could be an incessant little pest, but what child isn’t? If I acted as this monster did at the normal everyday ups and downs of life, I should be worse than the greatest criminal. Trapped, I waited to get free and slay this monster.

I watched, helpless as he proceeded to beat and abuse my family for just about everything. And they took it all, with smiles and affection. The thought crossed my mind that my wife wasn’t here, not in this place, and wherever she was, I’m sure she was happy. So what was I getting angry for? Because some dollhouse magnified the negative parts of my relationship with my wife and son? Sure we never agreed, but it was never this bad. No, I had no reason to be angry, or to stay in this place. I began to look around, I was next to one of my windows, I crawled out. I was a free man.

Get back inside. You belong to me, you must do as I say. I own you.
“NO! I AM NO ONE’S SLAVE!” I shouted.
I OWN YOU
I stumbled forward, even as I yearned to run back inside. I fought against the control the carnival had over me due to the complete loss of my soul.

I will break you.
“I will kill you.” I returned.

Every step felt as if it was weighted with a great lodestone. I may have lost my soul. But I would never surrender my free will. Then I saw a familier sight, the snake woman who stole my soul. We were in the back of the carnival, where the employees dwelled in little tents. She was arguing with the red and blue snakes. Appearently the three were siblings. The red and blue snakes were both men, and they were strong looking. The white snake woman was their sister, and the youngest of the trio.

“You, snake woman, you stole my soul, I want it back.” I growled heavily.
“I ssssstole nothing sssssir. You gave it to me willingly during our dancssssssse.” She said. Gods, even her voice was beautiful. If you’ve ever chanced upon the sound of hearing one of the good spirits singing in one of the holy places, then you know what her voice sounded like. She slurred her s in typical snake person fashion, after all the stories the bards will tell you of their hidden culture. Even words like dance that had an s sound were slurred into a hiss.
“Liar! I would never willingly give my soul up. You had to have entranced me.” I shouted. Appearently, this was the very subject of which her and her brothers were arguing about.
“Ssssseeee I told you!” The red one said.
“We never ssssteal the tokenssssss, we accssssept only what their willing to pay.” The blue one said.
“Ssssooo? Now we will be free after closssing. Sssooo what if we have to ssscrew the audiencssse over? Better that we be free than they give only a token or two from a crowd of fifty.” The snake woman said.
“Assspen, we dissssown you. We will leave thissss carnival the honessst way, or not at all.” The two colored snake men said. They went into the tent and were heard from no more.
“You! Thisss issss all your fault, if you hadn’t come I could’ve convincsssed them to leave.” The snake woman hissed at me. So her name was Aspen? For some reason, that sounded like a remarkably bad pun on snake species, for I have heard of the desert snake known as the Asp before. Beautiful name though. If she hadn’t stolen my soul, I might’ve been completely taken with her.
“I want my soul back.” I said waving my now drawn sword at her.
“Only the Massster hasss the ability to free you.” Aspen said.
“The master, who is he, what is he? Take me to him.” I said.
“The masssster wearssss your facssse and ussssessss your ssssskillsssss, but hissss thoughtssss are hissss own.” Aspen said, turning into a woman and running off.

This wasn’t going to be easy.
Yes, chase her down. I want to see you both.
“With pleasure.” I said, chasing off after Aspen.

[Rahegalhoff]

I chased her, I chased that damn snake past booths selling candies and foods the likes of which will make you sick to think of. I shall spare you though and not describe them. I chased her through a crowd of people and past a hangman’s stand where a crowd waited to be hung at the end of a rope.

I chased her onto a carousel. We were running against it’s rotation, so visitors kept coming at us. I was reminded briefly of the time a traveling carnival from Alerar set up not too far from my farm. Infact they rented the southern part of my farm. Corin loved riding the carousel. He loved the carnival period, and was disappointed when it left. He always said someday he was going to own his own carnival, so that he’d never have to leave it.

As I chased her, I shuddered to think of Corin ever owning a place like this, with dead people hanging from nooses on the carousel. All manner of death rode, some had wounds in their side, some had weapons in their back, and some were missing limbs. Blood was all over the carousel.
Several times Aspen tried to jump off, as did I, but the carousel never stopped turning, and the edges were fenced off.

Suddenly Aspen switched directions. She darted past me and I turned and chased her. I followed her into a building where the freaks were held.

Inside was dark, and I must admit, a little off setting. Something was growling, and snarling at me. I heard a creature hissing at me. I assumed it was Aspen, but as I stepped closer, I saw what might’ve been either an octopus, or a dragon, possibly both. I backed off in fear, bumping into the cage of a mountain of eyeballs. To my sickening horror, they all blinked at me. I moved deeper into the freak show. Something with glowing red eyes looked at me, but I dared not go further into the darkness to see what it was.

I saw a flash of something white moving in the darkness, I thought I had found Aspen, but it was the skeleton of a fae. It was attached to a very large mouth. I turned, and was confronted by the sight of what I think was a cockroach, its shell was covered in eyes, some on stalks. It had legs like a roach, but there were hundreds of thousands of them. It had tentacles too.

I saw a doorway to the back, and went through it, to be confronted by a mound of flesh; it was a blob of some sort. On the other side was a woman chained to the wall. A sign next to her proclaimed her to be the greatest freak of all, a truly innocent woman. I thought that a bit discriminatory against women, as though it implied that most women weren’t innocent and were infact guilty of something. I went over to her, and she looked at me with pleading eyes. I turned my back on her and walked away, the last woman I let entrance me stole my soul.

I saw another flash of white, and chased Aspen out of the building through a back door. We ran across the way to what was supposed to be a fun house.
She ran in the door, and it closed, slid over to the right, and opened up for me. I ran through, determined to catch her. Yet, this fun house was not that fun at all. With legions of dead magi working for the carnival, the inside was truly twisted. I remember running down a never ending hallway, growing larger and smaller. Doors lined the halls. I yanked one open, and leaped through it. I found myself running down a stairway, again, never ending. Mirrors lined the walls. One my left, I saw myself as a knight in white armor. I could see holy power radiating from my very being. I rode a white horse with wings and a horn. On my right, I was a knight in black armor; I could see evil in my eyes. I rode a fearsome pale black horse, with glowing red eyes. Smoke curled from its nose, and sparks shout out occasionally. It had claws, and fangs. The stairs divided, almost symbolically making me chose between the two. I went with the black knight on the fearsome steed, and found myself standing in an upside down room. All the furniture was with me on the ceiling, the floor was carpeted with red.

I ran through to a normal looking room, and found myself faced with two pictures of aspen, one on the left, one on the right of a large bookcase.
I ripped books off the shelf and shoved it aside, discovering a third picture behind it, a drawing of stairs leading up. Leapt into the picture, becoming just a drawing myself, and ran up to another normal room, an exact copy of the one I had just left. Leaping out, I returned to normal, except the right hand picture of aspen was replaced with a slide. I dived in headfirst and landed in a room with a door leading out. Aspen darted out, and I got up and followed. As I left, I noticed I left where she entered, and she left where I entered.

[Rahegalhoff]

I chased Aspen into a parade from which neither of us could escape. It was heading towards a gigantic circus tent that overshadowed the entire carnival, and I swear it wasn’t there before. The parade itself was made of a wide assortment of ghouls. I saw Madam Esmerelda, and the demon from the mirror maze. The music player from the snake show was marching alongside the two snake men.

There were people juggling lit torches, and others simply twirling and throwing them about. A man made entirely of fire swallowed a torch and spat out water. I saw fire shining every color of the rainbow, and some glowing black and white.

Not too far from them was a troupe of sword swallowers. One man was simply eating them left and right, all two swords he owned, for he was pulling them out of a hole in his stomach. Still others were fighting as they walked along, being dead already, none of the fighters exactly knew when to call it quits.

The main tent was coming closer to view. I could see more details of it over the heads of the parade goers. The whole thing was made of red cloth, red sail cloth to be exact, though I admit to never having seen a ship with red sails. At the corner where the walls turned into the ceiling little blue flags hung down from the corners. A vaguely familiar gold symbol adorned the sides, but I couldn’t recall what it was. The whole thing seemed to be illuminated from within, as though by a massive bonfire, or perhaps an overly large star. Though I doubt something the size of a pinprick could ever put out much light or heat, so if it was a star, it’d have to be the size of an entire continent to put out anything descent. Perhaps it was some new unknown magic. The whole thing was even larger than the citadel. How they moved this thing, I don’t know. Perhaps they never moved it, perhaps the strange conditions of the anti-firmament made it seem unusually large. I looked up, finally realizing what Madame Esmerelda was saying by a storm, for in the sky, great bolts of white energy flickered through the sky, like lightning, but somehow the dread in my heart let me know that it was not any normal lightning. Madame Esmerelda looked at me with a knowing nod, for I happened to catch her eye.

Something big was going to happen tonight, something incredible. I just knew it. I had stopped in my tracks, and got bumped by a bunch of dead alerarian magicians levitating a dead dragon, holding onto it by strings. It looked at me with a glaring eye. I shuddered and quickly moved forward again, casting backwards glances.

The parade stretched all the way to the main gates of the carnival! I saw illusionists casting illusions of every type and size, and one cast one on me to make me seem to tower even over the floating dragon. Wizards were randomly teleporting people, and I saw Aspen had been teleported back to a wizard’s side. Next to her was the skeleton of the fae from the freaks exhibit. The jealous fae saw me looking at aspen and teleported aspen to my side where I promptly grabbed her arm as the illusion ended.

Aspen swung at me with her other hand, her claws dripping poison, but then as I stared deeply into her eyes, daring her to give me a reason to harm her, she faltered, and let her arm hang down by her side.
“Itssss, itsssss been sssso long, I didn’t realizssse it wasssss you. I’m ssssorry for ssssstealing your ssssssoul.” Aspen said, sorrow evident in her voice.
“What do you mean? Before tonight, we’ve never met before.” I said.
“Don’t you recognizssse the ssssymbolssss on the tent?” she asked as we moved along with the parade.
I turned to look at the tent, and realized with a start it was the old symbol I used for the farm, the same one my daddy used, and my granddaddy used, and so on back to the days of Hurlbet Mesquchoku who originally obtained the farm a couple hundred years ago. He settled on the symbol of a cross, like the sort certain dark religons use, only this one had the head pointing up, instead of down, with a pair of bird like wings attached on a cloudy backround. He always said he dreamed that symbol, and it always brought him happiness. Shame he was the only one.
“Yeah, so, the master, whoever he is stole my my soul, wears my guise and uses my skills. It makes sense he’d know my family history too.” I said angrily.
“Rahegalhoff, don’t you undersssstand? It’sssss me, Iola. When we died all thossse yearssss ago, we were knew to thissss land. We changed, we were changed. I became what you sssseee now. I’m Asssspen now, I’m not Iola anymore, but I’m sssstill yourssss.” Aspen said.
“I don’t believe you.” I growled.
“You enjoy a ssssteaming hot bowl of porridge every day for breakfasssst, with three ssssstripssss of bacon, two eggssss, ssssscrambled, a glassssss of orange juicsssse when it’sssss in ssssseasssson and we can get sssome from market, and oncssse a week you alwaysssss requesssst that Corin’ssss friendssss let him sssspend the night, more for our pleasssure than anyone elssssessss, but mosssst of the time your too worn out from working the fieldsss and tending the animalssss to do anything more entertaining than ssssnore.” Aspen said, revealing personal secrets only my wife would know.
“Iola, it’s you.” I said softly.
“Yesss, but it’ssss Asssspen now. Let the passsst be the passsst I’ll sssstill be yourssss no matter what name I usssse, and Asssspen isss so much prettier than Iola.” Aspen said.
I smiled, happy to have found my wife at long last. Perhaps things would be alright after all.
Then we entered the giant tent. If you’ve ever been to the citadel, then you know of its labyrinthine corridors, and doors leading off to mysterious places. This tent was a lot like that. The parade broke off into diiferent rooms. I was going to poke around looking for the master, but Aspen tugged me off to a giant main central area. Three rings were on the floor, and crowds were filling the stands.

We got a seat on the front row, and I held Aspen close in my arms. Lies or not, I didn’t care anymore. She said she was my wife, and I missed Iola so. I no longer cared; I decided to love her like she was, even if she wasn’t.
“So what exactly happened when you first came to the anti-firmament?” I asked. She didn’t get to answer though, because the same voice that spoke in the beginning spoke again. All the sourceless lights that illuminated the tent went out, with a single spot of light illuminating a man in the middle of the room. I could see him clearly, he was me! I found the master. I jumped up to run over and assault him, but Iola held me back, hissing something about waiting for a better moment. The master did indeed bear all my features, but with some minor differences, for instance, his brown hair was lighter, almost blond like Iola’s was. His nose was shorter like her’s too, and, and there were too many minor dissimilarities. We weren’t identicale, more like, more like….

“Welcome ladies and Gentlemen to tonight’s main attraction, the Circus Diabloque! Who am I? Well I’m just the ringmaster of this carnival, it’s master, it’s owner, and the employer of all it’s staff.” The ringmaster said.
“Listen, Corin changed too, but, he’s not the nice little boy he once was. The carnival we took him too when he’s younger really showed up in him when he was here. He uses people now, he’s, he’s ~”Aspen tried to say but couldn’t.
“Allow me then to properly introduce myself, in honor of my newly arrived Father, at long last he joins Mother and I. I am Corin Mesquchoku, son of Rahegalhoff Mesquchoku. I am the owner of the Carnival of Lost Souls, The Soul stealer!” The ringmaster continued.
I was still standing, but everything seemed to slow to a crawl as I fell back to my seat in complete shock. My own son, he was the thief of my soul, the one who would break me.

[Rahegalhoff]

The crowd broke into applause as the clowns came out. If your afraid of them, I fully understand why. These weren’t normal clowns, these ones were painted with evil grins, lips painted with blood. Each was adorned in dark colors and had sharp claws, and their teeth were just as sharp. They were very unsettling, and yet, somehow enjoyable. I ignored them, unable to enjoy their antics. They ran into the crowd and dragged random people into the three rings to torture in brutal ways. I didn’t watch, I turned to my wife as she began to speak.

“I, I know not who killed usss, other than that it wasss a man in black armor. He kept hisss visssor down the whole time. When we awoke here, were were disssembodied ssspiritsss. We floated without meaning our purpossse. Then thisss man, made entirely of darknesss, calling himssself The Dark Man told usss that if we sssimply floated, we would never get back to you. We had to resssissst the natural order. Underssstand, we both missed you greatly, and only wanted to return home.” Aspen said.

The clowns went away, and elephants were lead in, and made to do various tricks on tiny pedastals. One even balanced on a ball, it was amazing, sure, but not amazing enough to keep my attention.

“We begged him to help usss, and we had to promissse our eternal ssservitude in return. We agreed, and he cloaked usss in hisss darknesss, and when again we could ssseee, we were asss we are now. I discovered I wasss a sssnake woman. I changed my name to Asssspen, it sssemed natural. Corin, he had fully grown. I wasss so proud of how he appeared asss a man. My only thought wasss to return to you. Dark Man told usss, that if we collected enough sssoulsss, we could go home. Corin thought of the carnival and sssooo here we are.” Aspen said.

She was silent for a time, and during that time, the flying trapeze was set up, but no net. We watched in amazement as the highly skilled experts swung about in a death defying legendary manner, all perfectly. Then the ones still on the two swings grabbed the third member at the same time, and hurled her downwards towards the pavement. She landed with a sickening crunch, and the other two climbed down after her. All three got up and bowed.

Next came a troupe of fiery steeds who raced about the outside. The riders, all knights like myself, only much more skilled and far better armed, carefully got up and stood upon their mount’s back. They all battled each other while their horses jockeyed for position. I took note of this event solely out of professional interest. There were four knights, one with the crest of a dragon, one with the crest of an eagle, one with the crest of a unicorn, and one with Leviathan’s crest. The four battled atop their horses, each trying to kill the others. The Dragon knight let loose a terrifying swing, and as he did so, his sword seemed to burn with flame, Though his sword never touched his opponents, the arc of flame his sword created flew at the knight with Leviathan’s crest.

The knight with Leviathan’s crest blocked with his shield, and held his sword aloft. It glowed bright blue, and as the knight swung down, a mighty column of white water crushed both the dragon knight, and the dragon knight’s horse to death. It was clear of the three, the leviathan knight was most skilled. The knight with the eagle on his chest fell back, and while turning in place, swung his sword, which sent forth a great volley of swords made of a combination of air and lightning. There were all told, maybe thirty of them. The Unicorn knight threw his sword and shield to the ground, causing him and his horse to become a mighty stand of trees.

I was on the edge of my seat, what was Leviathan Knight going to do? I bit my nails with eager anticipation. Leviathan Knight seemed calm about the whole affair. He touched the hilt of his sword to his shield, and both he and his horse became a wall of water. Water, as is well known, is very hard to contain without magic or a completely sealed container. So as one might guess, he broke through the trees with ease. He reformed, and crossed the finish line as the swords slammed into the forest of trees. And what was Leviathan Knight’s prize? His horse turned into a mighty octopus which turned on him and devoured him instantly.

I cheered, having completely forgotten about my wife and son momentarily. Then as Aspen dragged me back down to my seat, she began speaking again, and I decided to think on the knights and their actions later, some of the things they did, it seemed to be pretty interesting concepts. An arc of fire from my blade? How wonderful would that be in a battle, or the torrent of water? I would be the best knight in the world.

“Ssseee, I thought Corin would sssetup the carnival asss a legitimate businessss. But allll to quickly, I realisssed the truth. Raggy, Corin tricked an elderly woman into giving him her ssssoul. He had dissscovered a way to ussse shadowsss and illusionsss. He tricked her, little by little, into giving him her sssoul. You’ve met her oncssse already. Ssshe isss Madam Essssmerelda. Sssshe forsssaw your coming, but it’ssss been ssssuch a long time, I had all but forgotten.” Aspen said.

“How much time has passed for you?” I asked.
“Over a thoussssand yearsss. Time flowsss differently in different placesss. After Corin got her Sssoul, he decsssided to ensssslave her, and through her, the carnival grew and expanded. Demonsss, Ssssorcerersss, Knightsss, It mattered not, all who came fell to Corin’sss control. He even enssslaved me, and now, you.” Aspen said.

Anger flared in my heart once again. Knowing it was my own son who inflicted horror on me brought me sorrow, and yet that same fact increased my anger even more. He had a lot to answer for, and to pay for.

Suddenly trumpets flared and I realized it was time for the last act before the grand finally. Corin came over, and I stood, he shoved me back and clowns restrained me, even as he dragged Aspen down to a wheel and strapped her in. He had a box beside him. He showed it to us all, especially me. I could tell that it contained a large number of daggers in it’s deceptive form, for it’s inside was quite large, larger than it should’ve been. I held my silence, letting my anger grow.

An unusually burly fellow that might’ve been a giant set the wheel to spinning, and spin it did. I couldn’t tell at any one moment where Aspen’s head and where her feet were. Corin started throwing Daggers, slowly at first, and I jerked and struggled to be free as I saw blood pour. His speed increased, going faster, and faster, until at last he was throwing fire, and not daggers. Aspen and the entire wheel burst into flame. As the crowd gasped I cried out in anger. The fire spread, burning down the entire tent. The fire went out, and Corin and Aspen took their bows, both skeletons. We were all skeletons. I happened to look up, and I noticed red clouds boiling in what I realized finally were the sky. Streaks of white energy flickered, followed by a loud boom, which caused all of us to return to normal, and brought a look of fear to Corin’s face. The clowns let me go, and as I readied my shield and drew my sword, I followed Corin’s fleeing form, out to a barren mound of dirt, into which were burned symbols of an arcane nature.

As I got up there, I realized Aspen followed me, as was evidenced by her lighter steps. Corin raised his arms to the sky, and a shield of energy went up around the mound, which wasn’t really that large, maybe a whole foot tall at its highest point. I tackled him, which canceled his spell casting, yet the symbols in the mound held the shield firm, and so only my wife, my son, and myself were safe from what happen next, but unfortunately for Corin, he wasn’t safe from me.

As we both got up, we stared at each other in anger, Corin for canceling his spell casting, and I for the wrongs done to me and my wife.
“Play time is over, Explain yourself.” I said in a voice that spoke of the violence in my heart.

[Rahegalhoff]

The wind began to blow as people ran about in fear.
“Aren’t you proud of me daddy? I took the lessons you taught me about business and life in general, and applied them very well, don’t you think? After all, wasn’t it you that said to always look for a sucker to exploit to get the most gain? Wasn’t it you that told me it was better to be the big fish in the little pond, than the little fish in the big pond? Oh I remember all your lessons and maxims quite well. I don’t understand why your angry though, I only did it to get back home to you. Don’t you love me anymore? I was close, so close to coming home a ruler and you’ve ruined it all. Why?” Corin asked, a tear in his eye as he too drew a steel Longsword and readied an exact replica of my shield.

“Exploitation, fish, ponds? You, you’ve twisted everything I’ve said! To top it off, you’ve enslaved your very own parents! Your not my son, you’re a monster, and you shall end like one. To the pyre with thee, begone!” I bellowed at him.
“Raggy, no!” Aspen pleased, holding me back. I shook her off, even as corin spoke again.
“No, I’m afraid I’ve understood them quite well. As for the enslavement, have half your souls back, that’s all that’s left.” Corin said, taking and throwing two small orbs at me and Aspen with his shield arm.

KRA-BOOM!

The storm above opened up with great violence. Corin and I both knew one of us was going to be sent into it, there wasn’t room enough for all three of us to go home.

Corin nodded to me, and I nodded to him. Even Aspen seemed to understand that it was time for her to stay away. As fire from The Pyre began to fall from the storm above which was in truth a great portal to The Pyre, and the Anti-firmaments attempt at restoring its own balance, Corin and I stepped in close to one another.

I struck first, and it pained me to do so, for I had struck my own son. I shut the pain out as best I could, but inside, I still felt the pain. Corin blocked with his shield, and seemed upset that it had to come to this. He struck for my feet, and I leaped back, while swinging my own at his head. He ducked and stabbed at my falling chest with his sword. I blocked with my shield, and stepped back. It was time to step up my efforts.

As great gales of wind tore at the buildings and swept people into the storm above, never to be seen again, Corin rushed at me, and used Multi-strike against me, his sword cutting into my side. Blood and pain followed his blow, even as I used Multi-strike against his feet, and succeeded in opening a wound in his right leg, his favorite leg, hampering his movement.

A great flaming ball of doom bashed against the shield, one of many that was falling around the carnival, Madame Esmerelda stepped into her burning tent, and both were swept into the Pyre, but she disappeared seconds before hitting the portal obscured by the clouds. Another great meteor bashed the hall of mirrors to pieces. Wind kept constantly lashing at everyone, and everything outside the shield, and every time it got even the slightest of holds on them, it flung them into the sky.

Hugging my side, which was burning in agony, I was glad it was on my left side, the side on which I always positioned my shield. Corin limped towards me, dropping his sword and shield, and I dropped both of mine, and tackled him with my right shoulder. We both tumbled to the ground, and I grappled him, almost hugging him close. Pain blossomed in my heart, not from an attack, but from knowing I, as a father, was sentencing my only beloved child to an unknown doom, yet what other choice did I have? His crimes were beyond redemption. I tried not to think about it, as punched him in the face. He elbowed me in my injured side, and I rolled off in renewed pain, almost frozen in shock.

The Carnival was almost completely destroyed, taken by force of things beyond mortal knowledge. Things only the Thayne themselves could control. Corin’s shield was weakening, surrounded as it was by a veritable lake of fire. Still great flaming balls of destruction rained down upon us. The storm began to abate slightly. A large ball of fire hit Corin’s shield again, and destroyed it. Corin had stood up at that moment.

“NO! I have Defied the will of the gods and opposed the natural cycle of life and death to be taken now! I will not be stopped! I will rule the afterlife unopposed!” Corin shouted, picking up his sword and shield, and bending over to stab my frozen form. I saw what I swear was a hand made of wind come reaching for Corin, and I didn’t want to be grabbed too, so mustering all the strength I had, I overcame the pain, both from my wounds, and knowing it was my own son I was about to send off to places unknown to save my own hide. What a sorry father I must be, to sacrifice my own son for my protection, yet what choice did I have? I kicked him square in every man’s weak spot, and in pain, he stumbled back, and fell, right into the clutching grasp of the wind.

He fought with all his will and remaining power, and almost succeeded in freeing himself. I slowly got to my feet, and grabbed my sword and shield once more.

“I WILL RETURN, YOU HAVEN’T HEARD THE LAST OF THE CARNIVAL OF LOST SOULS! I SWEAR, I WILL RETURN, AND I WILL DRAG THE ENTIRE FIRMAMENT DOWN WITH YOU, I SWEAR IT!” Corin shouted in anger as he was finally dragged into the clouds.

Aspen took my hand, tears in her eyes, pain in her heart for knowing what I just did. The storm idly picked at us as we ran through the fire towards the gates, the only remaining thing still standing. We were stopped by them as they swung shut.
“Only those with a complete soul may leave, we’re trapped, and we’re doomed!” Aspen cried.
I remembered the soul crystal I was given earlier. I took it out of it’s box, and held it in my bare hands, cupping Aspen’s over it as well. The gat’s swung open as the crystal split in half and was absorbed into us. We darted out the gates, and into the darkness that was the portal the monks had set up for me. It was easy to spot for the entire anti-firmament was wreathed in flames for as far as the eye could see. I stopped at the portal and looked back at the gates one last time, before darting into the portal, and pulling Aspen with me.

[Rahegalhoff]

I, Aspen, must close this tale for you, for my dearest has lost his mind, and his will to write. I was quite shocked indeed to run through a place of complete night even as the land of the dead was as bright as day. We came out in a monastery somewhere, and Rahegalhoff simply collapsed. Not from his wound mind you, which wasn’t as serious as he makes it out to be, his leathers protected him quite nicely. No, his collapse was from his emotions, made evident by his rain of tears.

The monks that owned the monastery simply picked the broken man up and carried him to his room. I followed, I am still his wife after all, even if I bear a new form and name. Even still, I know that because we both shared a soul to be free, we are soul mates. I find that even though I can leave him at any time, I don’t want to, I still love him too much. I suspect I could perhaps only make it a mile before I could bear to go no further. Perhaps it’s love of the truest sort, perhaps it has something to do with the soul crystal. I don’t know, nor do I care to.

Rahegalhoff spent the next three days in brooding silence, looking out the window. When he slept, he would sometimes call out for Corin, as though he were in some great danger. There was only hurt and pain in his voice. If you have a child, I defy you to kill your own flesh and blood and not walk away emotional. Yet, what choice did we have? I tried for centuries to get Corin to at least let me go, but he refused saying we go together, or we don’t go at all.

At long last, despairing of our continued presence, the monks brought in a large stack of parchment, a quill, and several pots of ink, and suggested he write it all out. And write he did, my dearest was an emotional wreck, reliving his nightmare. Sometimes he would throw a pot of ink he was in such a state. This parchment you have now is perhaps the fiftieth draft, the only one to make it all the way to the end without being burned by fire, or covered in ink, or some other unpleasant fate. After he finished the fight that you just read over the last several pages, he set his ink down and refused to go any further. I gathered up the parchments, and asked the monks for a waterproof container.

We set sail on a ship called the Night Flyer, bound for we don’t know where, or care. Right now we’re in the middle of the ocean, and I write this section only to pass the time.

Rahegalhoff’s sitting in a corner, scowling darkly at the crew. There are a few young children on board, and at these, he scowls darkest of all. Everyone is leaving him alone. The fact that he keeps muttering about how it’s all everyone’s fault isn’t really helping to gain anyone’s trust.

It seems as though he’s determined to take his grief, and his rage, out on the whole world. He hasn’t yet learned to forgive himself, or to let go. I am only so callous about the affair because I’ve been dead for so very long, and have only recently returned to being alive. I’m still a snake woman, which is interesting, because I’ve never been a live snake woman before.

If anyone finds this, and in turn finds us, please, help my husband, for I am unable to do so myself. I am putting this in the waterproof bottle I got from the monks, and sealing it, then I am tossing it over the side of the boat. I pray it finds an owner, that our tale not be told in vain

_________________________
Spoils:

Aspen, self proclaimed Queen of the Snakes:
Aspen is Rahegalhoff's wife, Iola, only in a new body with a new name, her old body and name taken away in the Anti-firmament.

She possess the ability to switch from a generally human looking form, to her Snake Woman form, to a complete snake form. She's not poisonus, or harmful, and is infact quite harmless despite appearences. She favors her human form.

Due to being soul mates, each having taken half the power of a soulcrystal to escape The Anti-firmament, and the carnival, niether is capable of being more than a mile away from the other's presence. Each has the uncanny knack of knowing in what general location the other lies, not that they'd regularly be away from each other. If they do happen to be more than a mile away from each other, both suffer great emotional stress until their back within the mile limit.

[Taskmienster]

JUDGING!
The Carnival of Lost Souls

Characters Involved:
~Rahegalhoff~ (Raheg for sort)

STORY (18/30)

~ Continuity ~ (7/10)

~The way you started it, with the first person account in the form of a story, allowed the reader to gain the characters background without having to do it slowly or in an unusual way that detracted from the pacing and setting. It was a huge advantageous way to start the thread, and I can honestly tell where you came from as well as why you are where you are and how you got there. That’s very clear and well done. The only issue with this style of writing is that you can’t start every thread like that, but for this one, it’s very well done.

~ Setting ~ (5/10)

~You said in the 5th post that the room was nearly full with an audience, and that you had to find an open seat. Why then would the snake woman come directly to you? I would assume that you were towards the back then, because those that came before you would most likely want the front seats. It’s a bit picky, but little details like those are what catch my attention when I read.

~In the 6th post you said that your character was ‘trying to break the glass’, what glass and where did it come from? I was lost, it seemed that you were back in the glass house maze again. And later in that post you said ‘…over me due to the complete loss of my soul.’ As far as I can tell you had only spent 5 soul shards, meaning you had 95 left, more than sufficient to keep your own soul. Not sure if you meant that as a metaphor, but under the circumstances it seemed out of the place. [6]

~ Pacing ~ (6/10)

~Due to the first person nature, it is difficult to pace sentences and paragraphs accordingly. This is not just a first person aspect of writing, but one that should be considered throughout all forms and styles of writing. When you write short choppy sentences you make it faster, making the pacing quicker. A slew of short choppy sentences are best suited for the height of action or conflict, putting the reader on the edge of their seats and pulling them in. When you are writing points in the story were you are slowly leading up to something, sentences that are a bit longer and drawn out. Short sentences do not HAVE to be ignored completely, just not one right after another in long paragraphs.



CHARACTER (19/30)

~ Dialogue ~ (6/10)

~When you write out dialogue its best not to be too over dramatic about it. When you post things in all caps, in bold, in italics, or in a combination of all three it detracts from the thread. A simple exclamation point at the end of a sentence does the trick just as well at times, without detracting from the seriousness of the conversation.

~ Action~ (6/10)

~In your fight with Corin, post 10, you explained the fight through terms like ‘multi-strike’ which makes the reader confused. The reader shouldn’t have to dig through your profile to figure out what you’re talking about. This is the point when short, concise sentences add to the conflict, building suspense.

~ Persona ~ (7/10)

~In the 6th post you comment about how you would be ‘completely taken with her’, her being Aspen. But with thoughts of your dead wife lingering it seemed off. There was no internal conflict or anything related. It would have been a little better if you had commented about some form of conflict between your infatuation with the snake woman and your lost wife.



WRITING STYLE (16/30)

~ Technique ~ (5/10)

~The way you write, as in the first person style, seems to make it a bit stream of conscious. At times it is complicated to understand, two sentences at one point are contradicted by two more sentences following it. (3rd paragraph) [3]

~ I remember them well, they were as white as chalk, as driven snow, they lacked color completely. Using similes as ways to explain things are fine, but putting another clause after ‘as driven snow’ that says in the most base way what your literary devices were used to say detracts from the similes.

~ Mechanics ~ (6/10)

~ In a green a company of skeletons danced a macabre style… Has an extra a before green; it may just be my style of writing, but would read better with a comma after green: In green, a company of skeletons… (2nd paragraph) [3]

~ I could tell he was smiling., I could just feel it. You have an extra comma that’s not necessary. [4] His voice sounded familier, but Familier should be Familiar. [4] children wake up at knight crying for mommy that’s the wrong ‘night’. [4]

~ ‘her s’ should be hers. [6]

~ Clarity ~ (5/10)

~When you write dialogue, or anything, make sure that you put spaces between the paragraphs. It makes it very hard to read when it is all clumped together. The first example of this is the dialogue and the following paragraphs after it in post 3, as well as most of the posts you made.


WILD CARD!!! (7/10)

I gave you a couple extra points for the interesting story, as well as the way you wrote it.



TOTAL

(60/100)


GAINS/REWARDS!

~You get the requested spoil. If you want to add abilities/powers for her to have you will have to deal with the approval mods, me or witchy most likely. On top of that you gain 650 experience and 150 gold!

[Witchblade]

EXP and GP added!