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The_End_Of_Days
08-19-08, 04:14 PM
Name: Shira Blanc Cormier
Gender: Male
Race: human
Skin Color: White
Hair Color: Black
Eye Color: brown
Age: 32
Height:6'3
Weight: 210lbs

Appearance: He is muscular and pretty tall. Has black hair that hangs down just past his ears. He has a scar that runs from one side of his forehead to the other that he keeps covered up with a black piece of cloth. The rest of his body is covered in old scars and wounds from previous battles but is never often seen due to his clothing.

Personality: He is a bad person in general. He lies and uses people until he has no further use for them. He is usually pretty cold around people that he has no interest in and doesn't hesitate to take someones life.

Weapons: Steel lance, steel broadsword, and 6 throwing knives. He doesn't carry both lance and broadsword with him at all times. Either one or the other.

Swordsmanship: above average
Lancer: above average
Knive thrower: below average

Armor: Shira usually wears just enough heavy armor to protect his vitals. The armor is made from steel and covers his chest, his neck, his biceps, and his thighs. He doesn't wear a helmet because it throws off his accuracy and makes it harder to breath in. Basically he doesn't want to weigh himself down too much.

Skills:
Void blast- Can only be used at night. He gathers dark energy around his sword and releases it in a arc horizonally or vertically depending on how the sword is swung. The wave is roughly 5 feet long and isn't capable of punching through armor or delivering any kind of fatal blow. It will however cut naked skin that has no protection. Can only be used 3 times a night.

Piercing darkness- A move similar to void blast. Only useable at night. He gathers dark energy around the tip of his spear and fires it off in a straight line toward the enemy. Its easier to dodge but has more power behind it. It still can't pierce armor but can knock the enemy off balance. Can only be used 3 times a night.

Attributes:
This is a character that focuses on offense more then defense. His defense is average due to his heavy armor but this also causes his to movement to be a bit slow.

History: Nothing really can be said about his childhood or his past. He was born from a normal family, with normal friends, leading a normal life. Nothing tragic or life changing put his life where it is now. He is just a man led by greed and hunger for more power. He took sword fighting classes from an old war veteran that lived in the village. After 15 years of training with the old man he left the old man with a sword through the heart. He then went through the village gathering all the men that he trusted and gave them a offer. "Join me or die." He killed all that refused along with the rest of the village. After setting the place on fire, he turned with a grin on his face. He didn't turn back or shed a single tear for the families that lay dead on the streets. He knew that he had only one motive. Gather more troops and go on a conquest of this world.

Familar: Two men, Kline and Harald. Two men that joined him from the village. They don't assist in battle but serve a messagers, servants, and someone to help move the story forward with dialogue.

Taskmienster
08-19-08, 11:37 PM
~Specify the number of throwing knives.

~Please remove the additional chain mail armor

~What does void blast do? Specify the damage type, the area of effect, and the like...

~What does the piercing darkness do? Specify the damage type, the area of effect, and the like...

~Explain why exactly you have 'Attributes' listed... They aren't necessarily necessary for Althanas. However, if they are a broad thing that you just want to have as a 'my character is better at offense than defense' it's not a big deal.

~Finally make sure that in a thread you have either sword or lance, not either, since you specified it as such. Secondly, the NPC's are not allowed to fight in a battle unless specified and agreed to by your opponent.

Sorry if I'm a bit nit picky, it's a habit... But all in all nothing here is too big a deal in the long run, or too hard to fix to make it acceptable! I'm here to help, at any time, so just ask if you need anything.

The_End_Of_Days
08-24-08, 02:21 PM
It's cool. I'd rather you be picky. Sometimes I'm just in a hurry and I forget to correct my mistakes. I tried to tone down the power on void blast and piercing darkness, so do you think it would be alright if I could have up to 5 shots per night or should I keep it at three? Also I changed everything that you said needed changing. Also the NPC's don't assist in battle. I'm actually only adding them in there because I plan on killing them off in one of the later stories. I've got a general idea of a storyline that I'm hoping this character will follow.

Taskmienster
08-24-08, 02:45 PM
No worries. Everything looks alright now. Keep it low for now, since your skill with the weapons is above average.

Approved!

Sorry for the delay, hurricane knocked out my power