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shinigami_90
08-20-08, 08:57 AM
Name: Zaith Tenimi

Age:208

Race: Drow/Human

Hair Color: black hair

Eye Color: neon green eyes

Height: 5'9

Weight: 135

Occupation: assassain, swordmaster and blacksmith.

Personality: fun,attractive, outgoing, dark, mysterious, dangerous when mad, spontanious,cool, protective

Appearance: full body black swade trenchcoat with silver spiderweb silk stitching and black swade boots. black dragon skin pants with a belt to hold the small daggers. And his shoulder armor that is made of black steel all around it has a facial imprint of Shade, Zaith's familiar dragon, as well as his knee and foot armor are the same, except Shade's face is a bit bigger and more detailed. The armor he recieved as a gift for becomming of age, at the age of 21 (in human years) from his grandfather who died of cancer when Zaith was 21.

History: His story is a long one. His story starts when his parents learned that he had drow in him when he turned 7. What happened was he had accidently killed one of the livestock.What happened was his father, who at the time was a very very abusive drunk; So after he learned of this, he decided to beat Zaith untill his mother stood in to protect her one and only child, and in the process killing his mom with a swift blow to her temple.So after the Father killed his mom, Zaith decided to pack up his materials like his clothes and some small trinkets like memoires of his mother, the one thing he made sure to grab was a picture of her so he has something to keep him going on in life.


So a few weeks pass and he arrives at his grandfather's house; his grandpa was a master swordsman in his youth and has his swords around the house as reminder's of his youth. So his grandpa takes him in one ONE condition; he train in the way of the sword. Zaith agrees happily; not knowing what he's getting himself into. So as time goes on and he trains with the sword, his grandpa asks him to go into the woods one day to get firewood as they have no more; So he does and as time goes on, he gets lost since it's now after sundown, he hear's rustling in the area and gets really scared and trips around and finds a small creature of the sort that he has never seen before; what lies near him not known to him at the time is his best friend; Shade, a small black dragon who looks no bigger then the average house cat with bright blue eyes, the look of youth and innocence in his eyes. Zaith then screams in fear as Shade jumps back as well in fear and yelps. Zaith then relizes that it's only a baby, so he puts both his hands out and says "it's ok i mean you no harm little fellow", so out of curiosity Shade walks over and sniffs his hands and loks at him and tilts his head and blinks a few times and jumps into Zaith's arms and lays there. Zaith then lifts Shade and sets him on the ground and smiles "i think ill name you...Shadow?" Shade then shakes his head like he's actually saying no. Zaith then puts his right hand on his chin "ok how about Shade?" Shade then runs around Zaith's legs and yelps in happiness. Zaith then smiles and goes and gathers more firewood hoping his grandfather wont kill him for being so long. So he and Shade manage to get more firewood and they head home and when they do and out the wood away, he tells Shade "stay here ok?" as he does he goes in and tells his grandfather why he was gone exactly, even telling him of Shade. his grandpa almost falls over in shick and reacts "how? the dragons are supposed to be extinct" so Zaith leads him out to Sahde and shows him and his granpa falls flat on the ground trying to catch his breath "a real dragon? but how?" Zaith just smiles "dont know but he's my friend now". his grandpa looks at him and walks back inside. So the years go by and Zaith and Shade grow older and closer, they are as close as brothers, they go everywhere together, just Shade stays out of sight unless Zaith calls upon him.


So the day Zaith turns 21, he recieves a special gift from his grandfather, special armor, black steel with an imprint of Shade's face in the middle for Zaith to cover his torso, arms and shoulders plus knee and foot armor as well. He then thanks his grandpa and like never before and during dinner they eat in town at a fancy diner to celebrate the comemoration. Everyone else in town even looks at Zaith different on that day.Zaith on his 21st birthday even gives Shade some armor he made himself for him if they ever need it. Later that night while they are all sleeping Zaith decides to check on his grandpa, who had been acting a bit "out of whack" lately, os what he sees is his grandpa in bed, not moving, not breathing so he trys CPR, no luck, so he starts crying and shade comes to his aide and telepathicaly asks "What is wrong Zaith? what hapened?" Zaith just looks at hjim with pitch black eyes and Shade knows to back off. Zaith then trys to calm down and dig a grave for his grandpa as Shade stays back, not knowing what can happen since he never seen Zaith this mad before. so he burys his grandpa and stays awake the rest of the night in silence, no moving no nothing; he just sits in a chair at the table in silence and complete and udder darkness until the sun rises and he sets the house ablaze after he gets everything he needs like food and clean clothes then gets away from the house and torches it from the inside and out. Zaith and Shade then decide to head out and search for a worthy advasary or someone worthy of his respect and friendship. So he has been on his own since he was 21(in human years)[/COLOR].


Skills: able to run fast and long distances. on average he can run 5 miles in 2 minutes. able to carry a broad sword with one hand due to the fact that he has been raised around swords since he was 8 years old; the day he lost both his parents to a fire.able to control fire, earth and healing/protection spells with some difficulty since he is more of a physical person, sword to sword, fist to fist.. Zaith's spells gain more power the more negative thoughts that are around him or shade

Fire spells:
Fira: Able to summon forth fire and able to manipulate it. the only downside is he can only manipulate a fire roughly around the size of a small firplace fire.

Earth spells: Able to summon small boulders and shape stone, though nothing stronger than iron and no more than 10 cubic feet of it at a time.

Equipment: 1 steel broad sword, 2 small iron daggers, a small side pouch for holding food, money, and other important items

Familiars: a small orphaned dragon named Shade, shade is a small fire controlling year old dragon who found Zaith shortly after shade hatched from his egg. he has the characteristics of Zaith from being around him too long, and is willing to do anything for Zaith and vice-versa. and the one thing that seperates Shade from most of his kin is his rare ability of shape shifting. Unfortunatly Shade is only able to shap shift into things he has seen or ate

Taskmienster
08-20-08, 12:05 PM
Alright, so I'm not sure why you are posting a 'version 2', but I'll go ahead and work with it anyway. Here is the issue with it at the moment, as well as submitting it again.

First, the last profile you had approved looked exactly like this, but with the noticeable differences of a different name for the fire spell, a different type of elf as the other half of the race (and as such appearance), and an appearance added after the true age.

If you would like to change your character to this appearance and with these changes, I am going to have to unapprove the old character adaptation and work with this one instead.

Just making that known before I begin working with you on it.

Is that (this change and new approval of this character and unapproval of the old incarnation) what you intended?

shinigami_90
08-20-08, 05:42 PM
yes, this new character is the one i'd love to have, the old one was a bit "old school" so i thought of new ideas and well edited what i had and this is what i want

Taskmienster
08-20-08, 08:15 PM
Skills: able to run fast and far distances, able to carry a broad sword with one hand, able to tell the future in stormy weather. able to control fire, earth and healing/protection spells with very little ease. Zaith's spells gain more power the more negative energy that is around him or shade

Fire spells:
Fira: creates a small fire to be used as a light source or to creat a fire to cook food

Earh spells:
Collapse: summons boulders to surround and trap the intended victim(s)


I need you to clarify specifcs on the running, as well as EVERYTHING in the skills area. I also need you to cut down a lot of skills since those are the same as the spells though you didn't add them as spells.

The earth spell you listed needs specifics. How many boulders? How often? How strong? How are they created?

shinigami_90
08-21-08, 12:40 AM
ok thats done i corrected it and made it more specific

Taskmienster
08-24-08, 02:51 PM
Able to control fire, earth, and healing/protection still needs to be clarified. If you just list it without explaining it I can't allow it. You need to tell me to what extent he can control them, and remove one of them.

Also, the clothes can never be sold.

shinigami_90
08-28-08, 11:59 AM
ok that is edited in as well as some of his history

Taskmienster
08-28-08, 03:00 PM
Not right still. I said clarify, not say that you can't use them well. I mean like, what are the limits to fire manipulation? Such as: Fire manipulation, able to control and move fire no bigger than a small fireplace flame, though not able to create it, just manipulate it. Earth manipulation: Able to summon small boulders and shape stone, though nothing stronger than iron and no more than 10 cubic feet of it at a time.

That is clarifying. I would ask that you remove the healing/shield manipulation for the time. You need to clarify what you mean by 'negative energy' around yourself and Shade (bad thoughts, chaotic actions, shadows? It's too open right now.)

You also added two spells and removed the boulder one. Please remove one of the newly added spells. And do not add armor suddenly without noting that you changed it, I know it wasn't there to begin with and I just saw it... The armor is fine, just don't try adding things and hope that it can slip by please.

Thanks.

shinigami_90
08-30-08, 02:28 PM
ok i edited it and clarified it now

Taskmienster
09-02-08, 01:24 PM
Alright, sure... be careful not to powergame.

Approved..