View Full Version : Secrets of The Dark Man (chapter one of the grimoire of Xos Xilanthese) (closed)
Perhaps it's time I, like so many magi before me, started my own journal. Ok, maybe some call it a journal, or a diary, but it's proper name is Grimoire. For those who have found this and aren't informed on arcane objects, a Grimoire is a magi's record of his most personal secrets and most profound knowledge. To have a magi's Grimoire, is to have his power. To have found mine however is to have greatness, for I shall not record the ordinary kinds of secrets in mine. I need a written record of certain events, that I might have access to it's exactness as the time becomes neccessary to return to them and glean lost secrets once imparted on my mind, lost to the winds of time.
For beginners, I must record one of the most important set of secrets of all, secrets of The Dark Man.
I still wasn't expecting the opportunity that came to me that day. Fresh and restored from a fight with a talkative man named Edward Judorne, I had been walking down the steps wishing I had been there for graduation. In fact, this was the very subject of which I had been engaged in discussion with The Omnisource.
"Omni," I had started, picking a secluded and mostly empty street to talk to him in, "why wasn't I able to graduate, why did I waste all that time for nothing?"
"Who says it was wasted? Do you not still possess the knowledge your teachers imparted upon you? What then is there left to accomplish?" Omni asked in return. He wasn't exactly by me, but his voice sounded as if he were a dear friend walking by my side. Before I go on, I must inform you that Omni is no ordinary god. He does not have domains, or rule over one particular area. The Omni is as far beyond The Gods as The Gods are beyond Mortal Man, and even further. But this isn't to be a record of The Omni, for a true record of Omni is impossible to achieve by written works alone. For that, I advise you to look beyond Time.
I digress, I was just starting my conversation with Omni.
"Omni," I said, "you do not understand, Graduation means much to me, for it is a celebration of all that I have achieved, and recognizing me as a master of that which I have learned. I would do anything to go back and graduate with my class."
"But Xos, you speak as though such a thing is impossible." Omni replied.
"Isn't it?" I asked, confused and excited by the thought that maybe Omni would help me.
"Didn't your own teachers teach that Time flows differently in different places. Your school is in another reality, in another universe, in another dimension, in another Space and Time Continuum. To say that it is impossible to go back and take part in that which you have earned is to lessen me. However, if I were to send you back, you would have to do research, and study a force called The Dark Man. To understand this being is imperative, and if no one understands, then no one can beat him." The Omni said.
"Who, or what, is The Dark man?" I asked, confused.
"No one, No one, and nothing, which is why he's the most dangerous force of all. How I ask you, do you destroy something that does not exist?" The Omni asked.
"I don't know, hit him with an imaginary sword?" I asked.
"But Xos, even imaginary swords are real. The Dark Man is not." Omni said.
"Then he isn't dangerous." I said.
"I must have your word now. If I send you back, will you research the truth, or not?" Omni asked, impatience clearly showing in his voice, as evidenced by the thunder rolling through a perfectly clear sky. Evidently, I was the only one hearing his voice, for though people looked at me like I was crazy for appearently talking to my self, no one looked up as I did for signs of an approaching thunderstorm.
"Fine," I said, giving up. Thunder continued to roll and billow. The light seemed to grow brighter and brighter still, until I was lost in a field of white. Then I was awash in a sea of gold. I couldn't feel the ground beneath me, yet I could. I couldn't feel the wind blowing around me, yet I could. I was confused. I knelt, and put my hands on what felt like the ground. All I could see was golden white light, and I felt the ground. I, I cannot describe what I felt as I touched what I perceived to be the ground, nor can I describe what I felt as the wind caressed my skin. I have no idea how. The best I can accomplish, is to tell you that both felt like pure unlimited potential, as though I could bend either to my will to accomplish anything, and I mean anything. But, even that feeble attempt at best fails miserably to accomplish more than a minor success.
I stood, realizing there was someone else in the light with me, but they were too bright to look at, and infact I was blinded by trying. It seemed as though the light was pouring from this person. Was it, was I really in Omni's direct presence? I don't know, perhaps I never well. I can't tell you what this person looked like, other than that it was indeed, a person. I felt a hand on my shoulder, and discovered I could see again. To my confusion, I was staring at a book. I felt as though I had been asleep. There was a metal desk beneath the book Strange lights seemed to be suspended from nothing, and lit by the very same nothing contained in a glass container of some sort. Glass with lights dancing in them were at regular intervals on the desk, and one large one was on the wall next to a metal door. The hand on my shoulder was covered in a grey glove, designed in a manner similar to my own robes. Recognition stirred within me. I knew this place, and that hand, but how, and from where? Then it dawned on me, I was home, I was in Kessingale.
The Omni, Valanthe, Althanas, all of it, were they just dreams? I didn't know. But I knew that hand. It belonged to my best friend, and sister, at least in spirit, Kalia Greenstone. Kalia was a beauty. She had flaming red hair, fair skin, and lovely green eyes. Her figure was very appealing, and what attracted a lot of men in her head shot images, was her lips, full, bright red, like a juicy apple waiting to be tasted. Even her voice is soft and heathery, like a nice warm blanket.
"Are you going to sleep through graduation entirely?" she asked, smiling.
"What? Uh, no, no. I was just catching up on some reading." I said, it felt as though a fog were in my mind, clouding my thoughts and judgment. Whenever I was around Kalia, I always seemed to lose my mind. I got up, feeling stiff as a board in all my extremities. It seemed as though I had been there for ages.
I donned my pointed graduation cap, as the only one graduating with my doctorate that day, I was the only one with a pointed cap. Everyone else's was flat, and square. There were ten of us in all, and all ten of us were good friends. Most I only knew on a first name bases, like Ray, and Chris. Stella and Chron Jugis got married freshman year, and were the only married couple up there. Then there was Agrinja, he was almost my rival, but he didn't take honors courses most of his life, nor was he going for his doctors, he was going for his masters. My attention turned to the stands where I looked for my parents, and there they were, my two dads and two mothers were all sitting together despite their complete inability to get along, for more than five seconds without someone taking a swing at someone else. Their faces appeared strained as they sat there quietly. I waved, and they waved back.
What a journey it had been to get here. I could see all the freshmen who just barely made it out alive, all sitting in the first row, relief evident on their faces. Perhaps your curious, and while this would be a good point to stop and explain, it is entirely off topic. I'm mentioning my graduation merely because it was that which got me back to Kessingale in the first place.
The president of Kessingale, a mysterious man no one has ever seen, watched the ceremony from his secluded room in the palace. He watched via monitors that obscured all trace of his identity. He nodded at the president of Kessingale University, an amorphous blob made of a blue jelly like substance. His eyes were red, and he had three of them. His brain, which was visible through his jelly, was bright Neon yellow.
To date I have no idea what he said, because my mind chose that exact moment to make me black out from the excitement of graduation.
I was shook awake by Kalia, who kept a watchful eye on me.
"And now, may I present the school Valedictorian, Xos Xilanthese. " The president said in a voice that sounded gooey and not at all pleasant.
I stood and walked over to the podium, what was I going to say? I forgot to prepare for my speech!
"My dear friends, thank you for being with us today on this joyous occasion. First I'd like to thank the staff for all their hard work, and especially Professor Causa for keeping me on my toes." I said, I talked for a solid ten minutes on the nature of reality. It was the subject of my thesis.
I was going to be a Doctor of Theoretical Magiscience now. Magiscience of course is the art of blending Magic and science. It was the only way for magic or science to survive in my world. Dr. Causa was my main teacher. He was known to be the toughest teacher in the entire Kessingalian school system. He's famous for an incident involving a student that fell asleep in class. He asked a question to the entire class, but didn't let anyone answer. He noticed the student sleeping soundly, and so walked over to the student and woke him up, and asked him what the answer was to his question that had been asked while he was asleep. The student, being unable to answer, was expelled from class and given an f for the day. Understand, no one gets an f in Kessingale University. Having an F on his transcript got him thrown out of the entire school, all his accumulated credits revoked, and his entire transcript rolled back to before he ever enrolled. No one gets an F at KU, nor does anyone dare to fall asleep in his class anymore. Not that his class is easy. Infact I barely passed with an a+. I fell asleep in his class myself once, I was up all night with Kalia, studying biology through hands on experience. He did the same thing to me, only I knew what the question was, for I had actually heard it in my sleep.
After my speech, the president of KU glided over, and handed me my Doctorates in a decorative gold frame.
"Xos Xilanthese, I am proud to annouce you are the first student in KU history to earn the right to graduate Egregia Cum Laude, for passing the entire honors course with a 4.5 grade average. May I be the first to introduce to the world, Dr. Xos Xilanthese." The president of KU said, handing me my Degree. The crowd went wild.
The rest of the graduation ceremony went alright. My parents took a group photo with me. The graduating class got together for a picture afterwards. A pretty normal graduation with speeches and everything. Afterwards, Kalia and I took the teleporter home to my place. We were both pretty excited. It was late though, so I let her spend the night with me. I thought Althanas and Valanthe were just dreams at the time, and Kalia was real. I'm sorry to say, I followed my passion that night, as I let Kalia crawl into bed with me. But she felt so right at the time, how could it be wrong? In a society that had long since done away with Civil unions, no one ever thought of being honest to a wife or a husband, because there were none.
I woke up with Kalia in my arms. Again, you must understand, in my city, there is no such thing as marriage, and nobody feels particularly guilty for sharing a bed with anyone. Gods I feel so guilty. Sure ours was an arranged marriage, but I somehow feel as if I failed Valanthe. But that wasn't at the foremost of my mind at the time. What was, was happiness, bliss, contentment. I had finally graduated, and now, I was free.
Free to do what was at the foremost of my thoughts that entire morning, well, that and Kalia.
I thought to myself "Omni couldn't be real, Valanthe had to be made up. No way either of them could actually exist."
And yet, I still felt the desire to study Kessingale's history. Around noon, I decided it was time to get up, I kissed Kalia awake, and told her off my plans to go to the store, and she decided to follow along, so we both got dressed, and it was only afterwards that something happened to make me realize the truth of the matter. It wasn't anything grand or spectacular, it was a simple question.
"So that's a nice looking ring, where'd you get it from?" Kalia asked as we walked out to my car.
I stopped dead in my tracks, my face pale as a dead man's. I raised my right hand upon which my wedding band rested, and to my horror rested my wedding ring.
"I, I'm, that is, I, I got this in another universe." I said, realization dawning upon me.
"Oh, that's nice, which one? Grexise?" Kalia asked.
"No, I can't believe I couldn't even make it last." I said, downcast.
"What? What are you talking about?" Kalia asked, confused.
So as we rode along in my car, I told her about the world of Althanas, then of the Omni, and finally, Valanthe, and our arranged marriage.
Kalia got a sad little smile, and then held my hand.
"Congratulations." was all she said.
She was silent all through our car ride, and I didn't dare speak.
I've mentioned my car several times now, but realized just now, none of you know what I'm talking about, well, let me take a moment to describe it, for I bought a mod for it later at the mall.
The Warhaven Motor Car Company, a Division of Warhaven Inc. They are the largest producers of transport in the entire galaxy. But our cars are a far cry from the horse and buggies of Althanas. Our cars look like eggs, the bottom half is made of either a substance like Delyn, or for us richer folks, Substance Z. Substance Z is a living organic metal that's next to impossible to destroy. It can be made to look like any color. Mine happened to be colored deep purple, my favorite color! The top is covored in a substance that is clear like glass, and hard like steel. We call it plastic.
Then there's the city itself. Kessingale is the smallest city in the Galactic civilization, boasting only six billion citizens. It covers the largest continent, and is over 6000 miles wide at it's widest point, and 3000 at it's longest. The landmass resembles nothing so much as a giant spinning top.
The City of Kessingale is stacked on top of itself, a city for those who enjoy a close environment. The city is full of towers, some wide, some not. At the exact center of the city is a massive tower that is five miles in diameter, and over forty miles high, breaking through the atmosphere, towering over every other skyscraper. The bottom half is devoted to The Galactic Mall, owned and operated by Warhaven Inc. The upper half is the seat of government for The Kessingalian Democracy. Some crazy people say it's that way because the government is spying on the people, but that's clearly wrong, we can trust the government, the president said so himself.
Meanwhile, connecting every part of the city, to every other part, is the mass acceleration High speed transport system. The MAHSTS, pronounced masts, consists of specially constructed tubes that run the city like a spider's web. Vehicles take routes appropriate to their destination, as each section is monitered and ran entirely by computer, and so each section was ran at a certain specific speed. The slowest speed was sixty miles per hour, and the fastest was Mach 3. Unless one chose the Sunday drive route, then you were shuttled around the whole city at Mach 10.
Our speeds varied between 60, and 500 miles per hour. Kessingale University and my apartments were close to the heart of the city where the mall was. As we slowed to a stop, we were there, we had arrived at the Mall. As Kalia and I climbed out, a claw reached up from the ground and took my car away to underground storage.
So, we reached The Galactic Mall. As an Althanian, you probably don't know what a mall is. Even if you came from somewhere that has malls, I have reason to suspect you don't quite grasp the sheer size and variety of The Galactic Mall.
The Galactic Mall is the largest mall in the entire Galactic Society, take Every Bazaar and market district and everywhere else to buy, sell, and generally trade items on all of Althanas, combine them, and multiply the size one hundred times over, and maybe you get the size of the Galactic Mall. Encompassing the first Seven-hundred Forty-Three Stories of the central tower, boasting approximately three-hundred ninety-two thousand, four-hundred sixty-one shops catering to every species and every need, interest, want, luxury, and desire known to Man and Alien alike. If you want it, it's at the Galactic Mall. You want to stop being a man, and start being a woman, go to the Galactic Mall. You want to assassinate someone, go to the mall. You want your youth back, go to the mall. No matter what you want, it's there, and it's for sell.
Anyways, we were going into the mall, and as I have described, it is truly gigantic. It's pleasantly air conditioned, and you get a free bio hazard and radiation suit just for entering. See, there are some aliens, like the Slobnobs, that are so poisonous, that merely being in their presence can kill you. Others give off the poisonous energy of the sun. Understand, once it's filtered through the air around you, it's perfectly fine, and is in part what gives the air it's power, but unfiltered, it's dangerous, it's also called radiation, and there are many types thereof, but let us not get into that area.
As we entered, we felt the particle beams create the Hazmat suit around us. So protected, we walked the mall in peace.
We saw all sorts of aliens in the mall, which is perfectly normal for us, as normal for us, as it is for you to see elves, humans, and even dwarfs all roaming the bazaar. We saw Slobnobs, and we saw heckgars, Slobnobs and Heckgars are nearly identical, and infact are almost the same species, both being giant snail looking creatures, except one is male, and one is female. Unlike most creatures, there is enough of a difference between the males and females of the same weird branch of aliens that they both belong to, that males are classified as one thing, while females are classified as another. Their slime is acidic. I saw a wide variety of creatures, the telling of which would require an entire novella just to accurately describe, but I will pause on just, one other alien. The Frenalgock. I mentioned earlier how some aliens throw off the poisonus raw energy of the sun. The Frenalgock is one of them. No one in living memory has ever accuratly described a Frenalgock, and I'm afraid I will fail too when I tell you their best described as giant orbs of light. All manner of trickery and sorcery has been tried, yet none have ever been able to see through a Frenalgock's light to see what one truely looks like. However, it is a known fact that without the Hazmat suits, you would die instantly after having come within just one hundred feet of one. If not by the radiation, then by the intense heat they throw off. Fortunatly, Hazmat suits are environmentally conditioned to the wearer's comfort, so you don't have to worry.
I mention this because a crowd of ten of them seemed attracted to me for reasons niether I, nor the ten Frenalgocks seemed to understand. As I walked inside they started walking over to me as If I were one of their own, and then caught themselves, and turned back.
"Weird." Kalia remarked.
"I know, right? Are we on the right level for the bookstore? I don't remember." I said.
"Seems like that's not the only thing you've forgotten." Kalia remarked angrily as she moved away and disappeared in a crowd of people.
"Kalia, wait I," I called as she moved off.
"I'm sorry." I said quietly as my arms and shoulders dropped.
I walked aimlessly through the mall, no longer caring why I was there. Perhaps it was an accident that I walked into the Dr.'s Office. Yes, the mall even has Doctors. The most noted is Dr. Tottenkoffen, a brilliant Psychiatrist.
"You look like you came to the right place." His smooth melodious voice said. It has a relaxing hypnotic quality to it. His office was a deep red, and brown waxed wood. I sat down in a chair.
"Ahh, it becomes clear to me now, troubles with women, no?" Dr. Tottenkoffen asked.
I looked up, stunned.
"How in the hell did you know that?" I asked.
"Love is the most powerful force in the universe, and thus the only thing that can cause Kessingale's most promising Graduate to walk in here so listless and downcast." Dr. Tottenkoffen said.
Damn he's a good Doctor.
As it turns out, Dr. Tot's just really good at paying attention, and has acute hearing. Well, that and he was walking by when Kalia left.
So I told him everything, about Althanas, about Valanthe, The Omnisource, The Dark Man, and Kalia. She's been like a sister to me my whole life, but lately, she seemed to start becoming more to me. Then I went to Althanas.
"It seems to me you have two choices. You can either stay here and pursue a relationship with Kalia, or you can go home to Valanthe. But Xos, as I'm sure you've heard, science has discovered that our universe is dying, and this Althanas sounds like a fresh young universe. A perfect place to take the knowledge of Kessingale to, and help them from making our same mistakes." Dr. Tot said.
"I, I don't know. I'm so weak there, and here, I'm so powerful."
"For now, I'm not trained in science, I'm a psychiatrist, but even still, it seems to me that with time, patience, and hard work, your powers could grow there." Dr. Tot replied.
"True, and with my knowledge of science, who knows how they would develop?" I responded, not really asking a question, but it came out as one anyway.
"Indeed, You should look up a battle called The Battle of Reason. This Dark Man, he reminds me of the last god, I don't recall his name properly, but it started with a K. Even still, that was the last time Magic was truly powerful, and a lot of the magics used there might inspire you as you develop." Dr. Tot said.
I stood, realizing I had made my choice, I chose Althanas. Part of me regretted that I couldn't take Kessingale with me, but perhaps the good monks of Aibrone could help me out there.
"I uh, how much I owe you for the session?" I asked.
"It's on the house. But only if you promise to work towards a plan to save Kessingale." Dr. Tot said.
"I promise. By the power of The Omni, Kessingale will be saved, no matter what." I said, turning and walking out.
I walked over to the bookstore, and purchased all I could find on The battle of Reason.
I'll spare you the details of the next few days of research. I thought they were particularly exciting, but I've come to find out I'm perhaps the only person on Althanas who enjoys the excruciating details of the things I research. I once tried to tell Valanthe, and I had only finished with the first day when I discovered she had fallen asleep. Did you know she snores? Like an Alerarian freight train. Keeps me awake at night sometimes. There I go getting off topic again. While I get back to my point, I'll tell you about The Battle of Reason.
The Battle of Reason was the last battle of The War of Ideology. The war itself started because an ancient and powerful God called Kajeenith had banned Science for his followers. You know Kajeenith as The Dark Man. Apparently, Kajeenith is his real name, and apparently he revels in it being spoken, especially with a hint of fear.
Anyways, Because Kajeenith was so wide spread, this wiped out science entirely. A small group of rebel scientists formed their own society, rejecting Kajeenith. The life of the scientists was a pleasant one, as they used their combined knowledge to make life pleasant for themselves and those who chose to live with them. I don't think I have to tell you how unpleasant Life was under Kajeenith, so he started loosing large groups of followers. Well, he changed his ways to make life more pleasant for his remaining followers. Some say he blinded them to his ways. So this resulted in two societies comprised of several nations. The nations of each society unionized against the enemy society. As happens with nations, who are in fact, a lot like children, the two societies got into disagreements, and never resolved them. It's unclear who struck first, but it is a known fact that one side got tired of arguing verbally, and decided to get physical.
This resulted in the war of ideology, which was a battle for supremacy. Science sought to depose magic, and magic sought to annihilate Science. The Battle of Reason was the culmination of this battle. It took place on the very spot where Kessingale now stands. Originally, there were ten towers of magic where the mall now stands. The armies of science had pushed the armies of magic back to this, their last stronghold. Most of the records detail each section of the battle, and an exciting telling it is too. However, my particular area of interest was in Kajeenith. It was here that Kajeenith's true colors were shown, as he walked through the battlefield, slaying all he met on both sides. For ages he'd been thought of as simply a dark god bent on world domination, but as he walked along slaying all around him, he spoke of coming from a universe even older than Kessingale, having destroyed it. He spoke of being before all things. The two sides realized Kajeenith had plotted the last ten thousand years of history, and they knew they had to save each other from this menace. It's thought that if Kajeenith hadn't come, history might have taken a more cooperative turn. However, the armies were no match against Kajeenith, until the Angel appeared. He said his name was Chamiel, chief servant of The Omni. Omni's few servants had prayed for aid, and this was his response. Chamiel filtered the light of Omni into the armies, and in an exciting battle the likes of which only happen once in a universe, Kajeenith was defeated. His last words though, made us all realize just what a disease he was. I'll repeat them here, so you understand why my world is dying.
"Yes, I'm defeated, I've lost. I'll go away. But realize, I've been here for one hundred thousand years, and become an integral part of this reality. To take me away, is to deliver a horrible blow to the universe, and so in the end, I win anyway. There's nothing you can do to stop it, either. I'm the last God, and I'm taking the power of the gods with me. Science can't fix it, and magic isn't strong enough without Divine back up, in which case, magic wouldn't be needed anyway. I give it perhaps one thousand years more, and then, nothing."
He's right, our universe is dying, and has been for the past one thousand years.
I discovered after much research, that the towers were still standing, and Kajeenith was still here. I simply had to go beneath the sewers of Kessingale.
Gathering supplies, I set out immediately.
I hope you know what a sewer is, dear reader, because I don't have the stomach to explain what it is, and what flows through it. I understand some larger cities have them though. If you have questions as to what one is, go traipsing through one of theirs, and you'll come to understand why this next section of my journey was the most unpleasant of all.
For those that do know, or if you took the time to go strolling through the sewers, you've probably figured out I went through kessingale's sewers. You might think that for being so technologically advanced as to make the entire combined scientific might of Alerar seem primitive that we wouldn't need a sewer, but the waste of certain aliens is very difficult to deal with. Such examples include Queen Wormula, whose jellies are considered to be the only known substance capable of dissolving gold. Alchemists will tell you that's impossible, and probably ramble on about how gold can withstand acid and talk about the acid test for proving if something's really gold or not, but they don't know Queen Wormula. A big thing she is, over five hundred feet long, and sixty feet in diameter. She's been stuck in kessingale for over five hundred years, because she's too big and heavy to get out.
Anywho, take my word for it, that her acid jelly is just one of the many "pleasant" finds in the kessingale sewers. I walked through it all. As it turns out, the whole combination becomes only a little toxic and non-acidic. Still, I decided that first chance I got, I was going to burn my robes and buy new ones, possibly in that order. I was afraid to do it there in the sewers, because it's a widely known opinion that the sewers will explode if someone ever does light a fire there. We're too scared to actually try it, and by we, I mean anyone whose ever gone down to the sewers.
Why the sewers were labyrinthine in design, I don't know, but I eventually picked a wall and followed it to an underground city. Imagine my shock when I learned there was a thriving city of sewer mutants living beneath Kessingale. I think they were human, but I have no proof of the subject. The most normal looking one of the bunch had fish scales like a merman, green skin, and six eyes. Then I realized it wasn't a male, it was a female. The others, ugh, I just get sick thinking about them, so your blessed by not having a description. I'm sure your imagination will suffice, but needless to say, it's still far off the actual truth.
I wandered into their city, and they all looked at me like I was the horrifying creature. Me, not the thing that was nothing more than a giant nose with two legs and two eyes hanging out it's nostrils, me, the surface dweller. They all gathered around me, and touched me with their slimy, extremities. I don't think I can accurately describe what they were. Some looked like hands, some looked like tentacles, some looked like hands with tentacles for fingers, others looked like multiple male organs, and those were the mostly normal looking ones.
Then they spoke, well, their leader spoke. He looked like a giant ball of slime. He inhaled a large amount of air, swelling up in the process, I thought he was going to burst, but he didn't.
"What are you, you disgusting, horrifying, freak?" the thing asked. Have you ever heard a balloon deflate? I know some carnivals sell them. If you ever get the chance, open it without popping it and just let the air out. That's how that thing's voice sounded. Imagine a deflating balloon speaking to you, and you've got it, spot on.
"I'm looking for the lost ruins of The Battle of Reason, said to exist beneath the city." I said defiantly. How dare they stop me and question my activities?
"That's a real shame it is, we don't let no one go to the sacred lands. Now we're going to have to kill you" The slime ball leader said. I know it's usually a slur against someone's moral character to call them a slime ball, but honestly, that's what the leader was, a ball of slime, with eyes.
"Now hold on, why can't someone go there? What if they just want to look at and study the ruins?" I asked.
They all stopped for a moment, clearly unprepared for such a concept.
"NO ONE GOES TO THE RUINS!" The slime ball said, turning from a sickly mucus green to a bloody mucus red, possibly due to anger, at least I think it was anger. Honestly these mutants were an unreadable lot, it might have been embarrassment for all I know.
They advanced on me, and in a panic, I crafted a fireball, not remembering the thought that the sewers would explode.
I think there's some validity to that thought though, because my fireball was four times it's normal size. There had to have been some sort of flammable gas in the air it was feeding off of, because I know that at the time all those years ago, I couldn't make a fireball that was very large. I fought to restrain my own surprise at the size of my fire, but the effect it had on the mutants was nice, for they all backed off in fear.
"I apologize, Master Wizard. We are the guardians of the gateway of water. At least, we were. Look at what's been done to our home. The people sent to the land above turned our waterways into a sewer system. Look at how it's poisoned us. I wish we could be healed, but alas, the healing magic is too weak. Go, we will trouble you no more." The slime ball said.
I felt sorry for them, and a bit guilty. My heart went out to them, no one's home should be polluted in the fashion theirs was. I didn't actually proceed right away. I spent some time talking with them.
As I'm certain any reasonable intelligent being has asked by now, why did they stay, even after their homes were destroyed? What was the gateway of water, and why did they consider the ruins of the battlefield sacred? Well, as it turns out, after the battle was finished, it was discovered the most powerful of all wizards had died. You know who I'm talking about, too. Merlin it seems, had visited every reality, or every reality had their own Merlin. Whichever, I'm not certain, and have never set out to find the answer for certain, not that it matters. What does, is that Merlin had died.
Merlin, and his descendants, were the only ones capable of entering the towers via the elemental gateways. There was one for each of the four major elements, Water, Fire, Sky (which encompasses wind and lightning magic), and Earth (encompassing Ground, wood, and metal magic) Three of the gateways had since been destroyed during the war, and in an effort to guard the knowledge hidden in the towers, the last remaining wizards set up an order called The Guardians to protect the last gateway, even at the expense of their own lives. As the years passed, the magics binding the guardians to the gateway of water had faded away, but their loyalty and devotion had not, for they had become attached to what they now thought of as their homeland.
I'm certain you understand then, for I'm certain If I were to tell you I'm going to come and take your home from you, you'd probably object strenuously, possibly with a sword. So that's why they stayed, even after we'd turned their home into a sewer system. It was their home, they had bonded with it, and like a dying lover, they swore to stick with it to the very end.
The gateway itself was the only pure pool of water in the whole place. It took the form of a swirling vortex of water, as though it were draining down to unknown depths. I remembered it's location for later, for the mutants were quite interested in hearing what the wizards had been doing since going to the world above.
I didn't have the heart to tell them that the last real wizard had died five hundred years ago, a man known as Lerim. His death was his own fault, really. He decided to pour all he had into a levitation spell on Queen Wormula, and while she did lift about ten feet off the ground, the spell failed and she fell. Unfortunatly for Lerim, he had walked under her seconds before that point. Instead, I told him that a gateway to another reality had been found, a young world, full of life, and magic. I told them of Althanas, and that as the current master of the wizards, I had decided to return to glean the knowledge from the towers, in an attempt to figure out how to take Kessingale there, so that my people might survive. I promised to take them too, if I could figure out how to do it.
They seemed excited, and as they all celebrated the prospect of a second chance, I slipped away to the vortex, and not knowing what else to do, I jumped in. I'm sure you remember me saying that only those of Merlin's blood can use the gateways. That thought crossed my mind as well after I jumped. But remember, Merlin died a thousand years ago. The blood of one man can spread over generations to millions of descendants, if you consider that the average number of children per couple is two. Each of those children go onto have two, and so one and so forth. So it isn't really all that improbable for me to be one of Merlin's descendants. Even still, some couples have more than two children, some have less, or none, so it's probable that half of kessingale had his blood in them to some degree.
But I must admit I was surprised when the vortex welcomed me as the eldest direct male descendant of Merlin. It's probably why I'm the most powerful spellcaster in all of kessingale. True, I'm writing this on Althanas several decades in the future and my power has grown significantly since then, but at the time, I was still the most powerful, even if all I could do was craft a fireball.
The Vortex opened into a lengthy corridor made of water, twisting, and turning, looping and spinning. It let me out before the greatest repository of knowledge I had to date ever run accross, and mind you this was before I visited Khal'jaren's Library, which is of course, much more vast than the ruins beneath Kessingale.
The Ruins, I was here, finally. I hope your ready for what happened next, because I wasn't. I'm sure you are though, for what happened next is the central nexus of Chapter one.
I came face to face with The Dark Man. I know some of you have heard stories that he was also, at this same time, in Althanas during an event called The Alignment in which my wife caused all the subsequent trouble that has happened these past years. Don't blame her, she was under mind control and in a very confused state. These stories are also true, for Dark Man was in both places at once. I suspect he was in a great many more too.
But I'm certain your curious, what did I see? Well, I'll tell you. First, I got the sensation of standing, and not at all soaking wet like I thought I would be, on a firm stone surface. Sourceless light illuminated a massive cavern. Around me were six towers, each made of marble. One was made of Black Marble, one was made of red marble, one of green, another of blue, one of purple, and one of gold and silver marble. There was a faint buzz of energy in the air, and I realized it was coming from the light, which was weakening, and then getting stronger in a steady pattern.
The walls were all of common brown dirt, and sandstone. Originally, the towers were above ground, but Kajeenith's acts caused the towers to become buried. I don't know how stable the walls were, but I wasn't about to go poke them and find out either.
I looked around me in fascination, I couldn't decide what tower to enter first. I chose the Gold and Silver one, because it reminded me of Omni.
Inside were rows and rows of books and scrolls, each filled with great knowledge on how magic worked. I spent I don't know how long reading the books in the towers, and practicing what they spoke of. But the end result was, was that I had grown more powerful, and my magic had changed on a fundamental level. I didn't quite grasp all the books had to say, but I knew enough to be dangerous. You already know how my magic changed. As the years rolled by and I grew more powerful here in Althanas, I became known as the worlds greatest Magiscientist, for my magic was, my magic is, and my magic shall forever be, based entirely on Science. It was at these towers that I learned how to control Law, to manipulate Chaos, to create something from nothing, to control the very space/time continuum itself.
But I will tell you more about my scientific based magic in the next chapter.
I already said that I had next encountered The Dark Man, and yet spoke only of the knowledge I found in the towers. I did that to keep in Chronological order of the events that happened, and it's going to get very confusing, but do try to follow along.
When I exited the vortex, I found myself face to face with The Dark Man, and then he disappeared. After I finished reading the books, I had gone back to that same point, I had just set a book back on the shelf and my arm dropped back to my side, when I was again at the point where I had just exited the vortex and was face to face with The Dark Man.
"Did you enjoy your reading?" The Dark man asked, his voice sending shivers down my spine.
Valanthe speaks of The Dark Man as being solid black, and while that was how he appeared on Althanas at first, here, in Kessingale, at the end, he was different, yet the same.
Have you ever seen a junior illusionist practicing a new illusion for the first time? You know how at first the image is fuzzy and distorted because the spell is failing? That's how Kajeenith appears. Again, we knew The Dark Man by his real name, Kajeenith.
Kajeenith's hair is devoid of any color. White is not a color, it is the absence of it. His clothes are solid black. Yet their not. Lines ran through him here and there, white and black. They were constantly changing where they where. I got the distinct impression that if Kajeenith simply focused, he'd be full of rich, vibrant colors. Yet he seemed to chose to appear as a bad failing illusion. His lips were black, his skin was white, the contrast between the black and white was so great that it physically hurt to look at him. In fact, I began to go blind. The smell, imagine the worst smell you've ever had the misfortune of smelling, unless of course you've actually been around Kajeenith, in which case you don't have to imagine, but for the rest of you, multiply the worst scent you've ever run across one hundred times over, and that's as best as I can describe. The scent also gives off the distinct impression of a rotting festering wound.
He looked at me, two gaping yawning voids of darkness where eyes should be.
His voice grates upon the nerves, and when he feels like it, Kajeenith can actually speak destruction. That is, he speaks, and things get destroyed. Pots shatter, plants die, buildings explode, the ground shakes, you get the picture. As it was, he was holding me by the shoulders.
Kajeenith's touch brings a great dire agony, unlike any ever felt before. Though many contest me on this point, the pains of childbirth are as a humble bee sting before the dire agony of Kajeenith's touch.
That was why I was screaming in agony, I was close to Kajeenith.
"Well, answer my question, did you enjoy your reading?" Kajeenith asked, his voice sending me to my knees.
"I was, until you came along." I whimpered.
"But I've been here all along, studying with you. We had made such strides forward together. I think I truly understand how to fix Althanas." Kajeenith said as though he were my close personal friend.
"But, I don't understand." I whimpered.
And I didn't, for at the time, I could not remember Kajeenith being by me at all.
"I'm surprised, a smart young man like you, and after all that education from Kessingale University, what a waste, I guess I'll explain then.
Let's start at the beginning, from the very beginning. No, not when you first popped out of the vortex, that's not the beginning. The Beginning came first.
The Beginning was pure and utter nothingness. Nothing existed, and that was all that existed, was pure, infinite Nothingness. It was perfection, for what can possibly go wrong with nothing? It was infinite Nothingness, a great void, and I was that great void.
Then, there was Something. Now don't laugh for this is quite serious. Something, with a capital s, is different than the generic term something that people use when they don't mean anything specific. No, Something is quite different, because it isn't anything specific, it's everything, and Something is The Omnisource, for The Omnisource is all things. With the advent of The Omni came time. I would explain how to define things without time, but it would be wasted on your puny mind.
Know this then, Omni came from nothing, and because I am Nothing, I am the father of The Omnisource, and thus the patriarch of all things. Omni tells it differently, but Omni is all things, including lies and deceit. I wasn't always the enemy, you know. I actually wanted to be friends at first. I felt an almost fatherly sense of duty to The Omni. I saw it make a world for itself, and I approached it. I told him I admired his ability to create, for I had none myself. I knew not what my power was. We dwelt in peace on this world for years. Then I began to notice flaws, things that could be made better. Free-will is one of the most fundamental design flaws inherent in all things Omni touches. He says he would prefer to be worshiped willingly, rather than forcefully. He was ignored by most of his creations, for they sought divinity within themselves. I stretched forth my hand, and took half of those that ignored Omni, and removed their free-will. I tried explaining to him that my way was much better than his, but in anger he smote me, I was shocked, I had never been hit before. Then I grew angry, and decided that if he wouldn't listen to me, then I would force him to obey me, and I reached forth with my darkness, and corrected all the fundamental flaws in his creation. Seasons, free will, death, disease, in essence, forcing everyone to live forever in what could only be happiness. Eternal fall, free of disease, what could be better? Winter is frigid, and full of death, spring, though vibrant and colorful, is lacking in good things to eat, and summer is far too hot.
Omni grew angry, and demanded I leave. It seemed rather childish. I showed him the better way to do things, and he threw a fit. I told him as much, and he hit me again, only this time he was out to completely undo me. I resisted, and we fought. Our struggle ended up destroying that first fragile world, and in anger that all my hard work to help him do better had been for naught, I declared us everlasting enemies, and that eventually, I would end him, permanently, restoring all things back to the original state of perfection.
I go from reality, to reality, from world to world. I try so hard to correct it's flaws, to perfect it, yet each time, Omni is there to fight me, to make the inhabitants believe I desire only their destruction. Sometimes I win, sometimes I lose. That's what happened here, Xos. I lost. You and your people resisted me so thoroughly, that in heartbreak, I turned away. I only wanted to make things better, but you all fought my attempts and changing you. So I did as any good father must, and I sentenced your reality to final destruction. Now, thanks to you, I know how to truly fix Althanas for good." Kajeenith said, smiling.
I was angry. No wonder Omni considered Kajeenith the enemy, he spoke of taking away all that was right with the world.I mustered all my strength, and stood. Though my sight had long since disappeared from extended viewing of Kajeenith, I was determined to fight him to the death anyway. I gathered fire in my hand, and exited the vortex of water to find myself standing, sight intact, before the ruins of the battle of reason.
Kajeenith appeared before me, and quickly I averted my eyes.
"Why do you look away from the truth before you?" Kajeenith asked.
"I avert my eyes from lies and deceit. You're a monster, you speak of taking away free will, and true happiness. It's like taking away a frosted cake and forcing someone to enjoy a slice of bread instead, saying that it's all the same thing." I said, angrily.
"But, why did you change your mind so suddenly? Behold, I show you the past." Kajeenith said.
I suddenly saw myself standing there, reading a book, and talking with Kajeenith. I remember the book, it was called "Quantum Physics and the micro-cellular level of Arcane control." Basically, it was about how to understand how magic works on the most basic of levels with Quantum Physics, which itself deals with the smallest of things in the universe. It's a very complicated subject, but if you can find the book, for I brought them all up out of the towers and spread them across Althanas in my later years, then you should read it and try to understand it.
Kajeenith was telling me how with the knowledge in this book, he could make things better, by helping people to will themselves towards a better life. Then, I stood there, thunderstruck, as I stood there and agreed with him.
"I would never knowingly agree with you. I remember reading the book, but not of talking with you, this must be a lie." I said, irritated.
"But Xos, I just want to help. Free-will, is at the root of all that is wrong in creation. It is free-will that allows people that should be good, to choose to be evil. Free-will is what plagues a man when he has to decide between saving his wife, or his newborn son. Let me take it away, it is a flawed and fumbling thing, for the better of society." Kajeenith said.
"You pepper your lies with examples of tragedy, and suffering, but I shall resist. It is free-will that allows those same people that are evil, to turn towards the good, and let go of their evil past, and I've seen it done. It is also free will, that enables the man to realize that his wife wouldn't want their newborn child to be sacrificed for her sake, to put forth all that effort into a new life, just to have it wasted. The pain will be great, and it may never fully lessen to a bearable degree, but it will lessen with time." I said. I would hate to have to make that decision again though.
"So, you would give false hope to the suffering masses? A fine thing to say 'he could change his ways' but how often does it really happen? Even still, your words offer precious little comfort, saying his pain will lessen with time. This is why I want to take away free will. They will all be happy and good, because I will them to be happy and good. Doesn't everyone deserve happiness?" Kajeenith asked.
"Yes, but it is suffering that makes us stronger, makes us better." I replied.
"Then I shall give you suffering, Xos. I shall plague you all the days of your life, and make you suffer beyond all understanding. BEHOLD!" Kajeenith shouted, irate at being defeated.
A black disk appeared, energy poured into it, as did matter. It collapsed, and left a very frightened Kalia behind. She looked at me, and then at Kajeenith, and then collapsed on the ground crying.
"Why are you doing this to her?" I demanded angrily.
"Oh, now you care about her feelings. On graduation night you seemed more interested in something else, than how she felt." Kajeenith said, smirking.
"I made a mistake, I'm sorry." I said, still angry.
"Oh, your right, you made a mistake alright, and it's growing inside her womb, right this very minute, it's a boy, congratulations, and your not truly sorry yet, but you will be."
I was flabbergasted, I think very few men are prepared for the very first moment in which they are told they are a father.
Kalia looked at me, and began crying even harder. Now I knew why she was so upset, and then realization struck me like a mace. We had made a promise to each other, when we were just starting kessingale, to be together forever, and have a family together. I had forgotten it over the years, but she hadn't, and had willingly acted on that promise on graduation night, knowing she would become pregnant. I felt foolish, and altogether, very stupid.
"Now Xos, I will show you the error of free-will. Which one lives, Kalia, or your unborn child? Think, speak quickly, your such a fan of suffering and free-will, why you should be in paradise." Kajeenith said in a taunting voice.
I tried to speak, but couldn't, my mind was a blank, and my mouth worked uselessly.
"Nothing to say on the issue? The student of a thousand thesis, gone silent? The man who could out speak the entire combined legislative might of congress, with nothing to say? Oh Lordy, the world's about to end. HAHA! It will soon anyway. Come then, your time's running out. Make your decision. It should be an easy one for you, the unformed, unborn child you don't really know, or your longtime girlfriend you dumped for an elven slut?" Kajeenith demanded.
Tears welled up in my eyes, how could I condemn an innocent to death? Life began at conception, it was a proven fact. I couldn't make the choice, I just couldn't.
"Then let your silence damn you." Kajeenith said quietly.
I looked up as Kalia began screaming in pain. He had picked her up by the throat, and was absorbing her into himself, both her body, her energy, and her soul, as well as that of our child. I rushed towards Kajeenith, somehow thinking I might stop him, but he simply backhanded me, and I stumbled backwards, and out of the vortex. I sighed, not again.
Kalia was there, on the ground, sobbing. Kajeenith was there. The towers were there.
"Fine, I choose Kalia, if you want me to make a choice so bad." I snapped.
"You already made your choice, you chose Valanthe, remember? You can't choose another. So Kalia, and all things connected with her, are unavailable for choosing." Kajeenith said gently. He picked Kalia up, and again, she began screaming in pain, as she was absorbed into Kajeenith. I couldn't even move, though I tried, but it felt like something was holding me back.
Tears streamed down my eyes as she slowly faded away, it seemed to take an eternity, or longer. To this day, her screams of pain and torment still echo in my ears on occasion.
"Omni, light of my life, source of my power, I pray thee to help me through this." I sobbed, as Kalia finally disappeared.
"Why didn't you ask sooner?" Omni asked.
Light crackled all around me, and suddenly I felt free.
Kajeenith turned towards me, suddenly a lot more dangerous than he seemed earlier.
"So it seems you have made your decision after all. Fine, fine. So, you came seeking the truth? I'll tell you the truth, the complete and absolute truth. I hate you, I despise you, each and every one of you pesky things that exist to mar my perfection. You can't be perfected, simply because you exist, no world, no universe, no galaxy. You cause me insurmountable pain on a daily basis, and I will take it out on each and every one of you." Kajeenith said. Everything flickered around us, and suddenly I could see all of Kessingale. He waved his hand at the asteroid belt, and it began to pummel Kessingale's shields, and the sky dome.
"Stop! Stop It!" I demanded, hitting him with my fists. Pain and agony shot up my arms.
"I don't care for any one of you, I hold no love, and could care less if you dwell in pain and suffering or peace and happiness. Everything must and will end eventually, so it is written on the Epitaph of The Beginning, upon which all the rules of creation are written." Kajeenith said.
A horrible black fire began to spread across Kessingale, demolishing it, absorbing it.
I just shut down, and hung in space limply, supported only by the Omni's will, for he kept me alive in the vacuum of space.
"I am not a God, such things are petty and insignificant next to my power. I am more, I am a disease, I get into each reality, and I destroy it. Althanas, that is my next target. Really, I must thank you, for you are the one who let me in, for when you first came to Althanas, I followed you. I went back in time, and made it as though I had always been there, regrettably, Omni followed, but that nuisance won't last for long. I know his secret, I know his weakness, and as soon as I find The Crystal of The Heart of Creation, I will destroy him, for it is his life source." Kajeenith said. He raised his arms, and the farthest edges of Creation began to glow dark.
"It has been one thousand years since I was defeated, everything ends today." Kajeenith said, disappearing. Suddenly, I was back in the towers.
I raced from tower to tower, trying to find something to help me stop this. In the gold tower, I found a thick tome. I opened it, and inside was a ring. It was gold, and inlaid with a diamond, a sapphire, an emerald, and a ruby. It was a thick man's ring. I slipped it on. The book itself was what interested me most.
"The Lost tome of Merlin." I gasped. I read through it, trying to find something to save my dying world. What I found in there, any wizard, including me, would willingly kill for. I can honestly say without apologizing, I'd probably pillage and burn an entire orphanage, just to read what I did. Thank Omni I didn't have to. I'm not revealing what I read, nor will anyone else, for after I read the book, it faded away, and disappeared.
But I knew what I had to do. The Dark Man had a secret, a terrible secret he didn't want anyone to know. A secret that would lend anyone the power to defeat him.
The Dark Man did not, not exist, not in any way, shape, or form. True, he had the power of nothingness, but he still existed, all the same. He was as he said, a disease, more powerful than godhood. And the Omni, was the cure. Kajeenith was a disease within Omni himself. It seemed strange to me, that Omni should be infected, and be the cure at the same time, but some things mortals aren't meant to understand. It is enough to know that Kajeenith is the enemy, and he's fightable. Everything, everyone he destroys, their not gone forever. They can be brought back, they can be saved from being completely unmade. More importantly, I knew how to completely destroy Kajeenith forever, but I would need the help of all Althanas to do it. Understand, my world, though very advanced, is also very weak, and old, and it's all Kajeenith's fault. Althanas is very young, and very strong. Your probably wondering how I knew to defeat Kajeenith, but, this is only the first chapter, and there are many more chapters to go. I advise you go read the history books in the library, and look for the Althanian World War entitled "The Final Battle of Ultimate Destiny" It should tell you how we eventually finally defeated Kajeenith once and for all.
As for me, after the book disappeared, Omni surrounded me in his Golden White Light, and took me away, back to Althanas, but fret not, this story doesn't end there.
(OOC: Though it was entirely unplanned, Valanthe's solo: "The Nameless City" has merged with this solo. To that end, Valanthe appears as an NPC for this thread, just as Xos appears as an NPC for that thread, and the last post then will be almost identical for both threads, merely changing the POV as appropriate.)
I found myself in the middle of a great desert, the heat oppressive in it's onslaught. Really, I was just in Fallien, but I didn't know this at the time. No one ever announced where I would end up, Omni just yanked me back home.
I knew I couldn't just stand there all day, so I randomly picked a direction and walked off. Apparently it was the right direction for I ran across my wife. Let me back up a little.
I walked off, and saw a bird circling down towards me. It landed in the sands near me, and turned into my wife of all things, even as all light momentarily disappeared and returned, a final distortion. The shock of seeing and learning that Valanthe could shape shift kept me silent even as she cried out my name and ran towards me.
She threw her arms around me and showered affection all over. I had no idea what she had just been through, but it clearly had to have been terrible. Slowly I got over my shock, and even managed to work in some returns on those kisses, though it wasn't easy, being tackled into the sand and all. Finally, she slowed down long enough to start to inquire about me.
"Xos?" She asked, she sounded worried as though I was mad at her or something.
"Valanthe, it's you, I'm back, I made it, finally. I would've spoken sooner, but really didn't have a chance." I replied, and this of course, was really quite true. I challenge you to get a word in around a tide of affection. Every time I tried to start speaking after the shock wore off, I suddenly found my lips pressed against hers, so I simply gave up and simply returned her kisses hoping that would suffice.
"Xos, it's been so horrible this last day, if it even was a day. I don't understand what's happened, but it's happened all the same, I just have to tell you, even if you don't believe me." Valanthe said, she seemed very upset about something, so what could I do except listen?
"I have reason to believe that I might find just about anything you say more believable than what I have to tell you. So, speak." I said, and even though she looked suspicous as though I were going to tell her something outrageous, she began to speak.
"Oh it's been so horrible! I got called by the omni to rescue a victim I never did find in a city the completely violates all sensibility. I met this strange woman who could hypnotically control me and compelled me to willingly be attracted to her and even go so far as to sleep with her, she made me act as her slave and worse, being a stool for her pleasure. Beyond that she had me slaughter innocent people and torture them all for some ritual to summon a place called The Void all for The Dark Man whose really called Kajeenith and then I myself got tortured and branded and raped and killed and ressurected, only it didn't really happen because Kajeenith did something to the timeline to make it all not really have happened, even though it, and it's effects really did!" Valanthe wailed, and then broke down into tears. Most people might think her crazy, but I didn't. I knew nothing I could say would convince her, so I just pulled her in close, and kissed her soundly.
"I think I love you so very much right now, for I too had such an adventure. I went home, to Kessingale, in the universe from which I originally came. I wanted to graduate, and Omni let me do that. In return, I had to research The Dark Man. He's right, he did Destroy my Universe, for I came from it's last day. I find it interesting scientifically, about Kajeenith's guess of the differences in the two Time/Space Continuums, and in this instant at least, I hope he's right, for I made a promise to save the people of Kessingale, but I don't know how I'm going to do it just yet. But onto the research. As it turns out, a mighty wizard from my universe, one named Merlin, he did a great deal of research, both from an Arcane, and Scientific perspective on Kajeenith." I said. To my surprise, Valanthe knew of him too.
"Merlin? The father of Modern Magic? The greatest magi ever to live? He was in your universe?" Valanthe asked, puzzled.
I assured her that it was infact possible that Merlin may have existed in each universe individual, or collectively. I would've told her of Thox's Quantum Twin Theory, but I doubt she would've followed it very well. I doubt you would too, but as I've mentioned it, I'll give it an explaination.
In my universe, about 500 years ago, a scientist named Dr. Thox theorized, based off the Loop Quantum Gravity theory which states very basically that each new universe is born off the death of a previous one, that people who have a profound effect on the general populace and the environment in which they lived are copied into a memory bank of sorts and reincarnated with each successive universe to again have a profound effect on the general populace and their environment. It sounds crazy, I know, but how else do you explain each universe having a Merlin? Unless he was immortal and reincarnated himself.
After explaining merlin, I made sure to allay my wife's fears of having a crazy illogical adventure, by thoroughly explaining to her what really happened, and I'd copy it here for you, but it's full of the mundane sort of trickery your used to. Enchantments, tricks, illusions, psionic powers, and Gods playing around are really nothing new. I'd tell you that the entire city she was just in was a massive illusion made from a single psion's very powerful mind, as was the entire brotherhood of darkness, but you'd think me crazy, so I won't.
But I will tell you that after I explained away the reality of the situation, I got accused of taking all the fun out of things. Imagine that, she almost sounded like she wanted to keep the mystery, not have the stark cold reality laid bare for her. After making certain promises to each other, we headed off. Took us awhile, but we finally reached civilization.
The mundane affairs of my personal life are none of your business, so I'm going to stop there. I named this chapter Secrets of The Dark Man, because I'm going to share them with you. Now that you know where and how I got them, and surely know the credibility of those sources, I feel confident I can share them with you without question.
Let the following be a record of exactly who, and what The Dark Man really is.
His real name is Kajeenith, and he is infact, a disease within the Omnisource itself. Omni, when he originally created himself and everything else, drew in the nothingness to himself, instead of expelling it outward. I'm sure he knew what would happen if he did, and maybe he wanted life this way, I can't say for sure.
As a part of the Omni, Kajeenith exists everywhere Omni does, and because he is the essence of nothing, he can say he does not exist, even though he does, and uses this self-contradictory fact to simply bypass all the normal rules. This is also why only Omni's light can hurt him. It is as using medicine against a sickness, enabling the body to fight off the infection itself. This then is the divine trifecta, Omni is the disease, the diseased, and the cure, for himself. He is also the creator, the destroyer, and the savior of all things, from himself.
Kajeenith possess the power of Distortion, Destruction, and Uncreation. Really though, Uncreation and Destruction should be listed as once, for Uncreation is the highest form of Destruction. I cannot however accomplish this, as it is also true that Uncreation is also a place. We know it however as The Void. The Void is all the nothingness in creation, it is all the nothingness Omni drew into himself.
The Void is impossible to dwell in for very long, for the longer one continues to exist there, the more one ceases to exist, until finally, you no longer exist. For some reason, this doesn't apply to Kajeenith's followers, who seem to be able to dwell in the void and even seem stronger there. This violates all reason however the reasons for this are covered in a later chapter. The shape of the void itself is based on you, and your mind, but it can also be shaped by Kajeenith's will, regardless of your mind.
As you can read elsewhere, Kajeenith was one of the greatest enemies Althanas ever faced, eventually forcing every nation in the world to unite, drawing upon the powers of the gods, and of Omni, and defeated him in The Final Battle of Ultimate Destiny. This for now, ends what I have to say. I have informed you on the basics of Kajeenith, and that should suffice. Chapter 2 can be found buried beneath The White Rabbit, though what that means, I'll leave up to you.
__________________________________________________ ______
(spoils: I don't think I did nearly as good a job with this as I could've, though I did use the firefox spellchecker, at least.
Anyways, I only have one request: The ring: It was gold, and inlaid with a diamond, a sapphire, an emerald, and a ruby. It was a thick man's ring. It's also Merlin's Ring. As no one but Merlin's descendants can wear it, it cannot be sold or traded or stolen, for even if such happened, it would mysteriously end up back in his possession. It causes Xos's magic to become 1.5X more potent than normal. This ring means so much to me that I would be willing to forgo all experience, all gold, and all gold already in my possession just to get it.
Taskmienster
11-06-08, 04:43 PM
Secrets of The Dark Man
As always, and questions, concerns, or clarification requests can be PM’ed to me at any time and I will be glad to help.
STORY (12/30)
~ Continuity ~ 4
~ “Gods I feel so guilty. Sure ours was an arranged marriage, but I somehow feel as if I failed Valanthe.” Who’s Valanthe? Why was she hardly mentioned? The internal anguish that could have come along with the guilt, as well as a deeper backstory would have helped a lot with the character’s background. Continuity can be expressed through almost categories, and I explain how in other sections.
~ Setting ~ 4
~Slobnobs are smelly, and can kill. Frenalgocks are bright and can kill with heat or radiation. Try not to explain it; try to feel it for us. Slobnobs, do they have a gas they secrete that’s visible? If not, than the simple notion of instinctively avoiding them (or people in the mall avoiding them instinctively) would have led to a small expenation of why. Frenalgocks, having them float by or whatever they do, and turning away to avoid the light would be far better than saying they are bright. Don’t just tell us what’s around, use them in correlation to the senses.
~ “I hope you know what a sewer is, dear reader, because I don't have the stomach to explain what it is, and what flows through it.” Get the stomach! Lol. It’s what you need to make the setting come alive!! What about this futuristic sewer is so gross? Slime? Mold? Crazy creatures? What does it smell like? What does it feel like, look like, sound like? If you’ve ever been around something with a scent so thick and prevalent you’d know that it comes with almost a taste too… explain it! Get the stomach, make the world around you real and draw the reader in. [post 6]
~ Pacing ~ 4
~The constant paragraphs that explained the setting were all and well, but they slowed the thread considerably. I understand slobnobs and frenalgocks are amazingly detailed creatures, but the massive paragraphs to try and get the reader to understand them detracted too much.
~The end of the 5th post you up and leave, headed off for adventure and the dark man… but what about Kalia? Not going to tell her where you went? The story leaps a huge bound between the end of post 5 and the beginning of post 6.
CHARACTER (11/30)
~ Dialogue ~ 5
~ “"Yes, I'm defeated, I've lost. I'll go away…” This entire paragraph seems very out of place for a defeated deity, especially one hell bent on destroying the world/people/magic-tech (never quite understood which it was). It is not necessarily what is said, but the way it is said. It’s a low dialect, never associated with a god unless the god speaks a local dialect (such as a dwarven god speaking gibberish because he’s drunk or something along those lines). In this paragraph I will show you which parts I’m talking about: “…I’ve lost. I’ll go away.” ; “to deliver a horrible blow to the universe” ; “There’s nothing you can do to stop it, either.” ; “magic isn’t strong enough without Divine back up… magic wouldn’t be needed anyway.” The worse aspect of lower dialect is the fact that it sounds far too childish for any form of semi-formal to formal writing.
Other than that characters dialogue, every character including Xos spoke in the same form. It was common, had little emotions, and was hard to follow in general. Of course, common is not an issue, per se, but when everything (alien and human alike) speak the exact same way it becomes difficult to believe. Different and diverse dialects are a huge boon when played against and with the setting. What I mean is, if you have an alien that speaks differently (doesn’t have to be a different language altogether) it shows the diversity of the setting, without having to tell the reader of the diversity.
Emotion is the key element to all stories, and it is easily expressed through dialogue. Yelling, sighing, mumbling, and any other form of synonym for the word ‘said’ is a simple way of show instead of tell. “I’m not dead yet.” he said: The sentence, as it stands, is just a simple way of saying that you’re still alive. Change said to yelled, and you’re proving a point emphatically; mumbled expresses that you are hurt, struggling, or determined; laughed implies that you are confident and ready for more; spat is one that can imply anger at the situation. All of these are just one word that changes the entire nature of the sentence that it follows. It adds to the character as well, enhancing persona and can change the flow and pace of the thread.
~ Action~ 3
~Slime ball vs Xos, who will win?! How will the fight end?! Oh, Xos made a big fireball and scared them. It was short, you can build on use of dialogue and pacing, and picking up the intensity and describing how you felt. Fear? Confidence? It’s not just a matter of persona, it builds Action too. [post 6]
The dilemma between Xos and Kalia over the sex issue, with regards to Xos’ wife on Althanas. It could have been soo much deeper and more dramatic, and a dramatic flair even in the smallest of conflicts is a boon to the action and flow/pace of the story.
~ Persona ~ 3
~Why does the slime ball and the mutants have to kill you? You have to give more of a persona, who they are, why they do what they do, in order for people to understand things. [post 6] In general the use of dialogue, action, setting, and continuity all go into affect here. If you don’t describe who and what your character is and where he came from well enough we, the readers, do not grasp who or what your character is. Action is a great time to use the pacing, dialogue, and setting in order to show, not tell, the personality of your character. Dialogue is not just a form of how he speaks, but why he speaks the way he does… is it upbringing? Does his dialogue show what the character believes, why he believes it, what his goals are, what his ideals are, and all the other aspects that accompany the personality. And finally setting, as a standalone concept, is important not only to explain where he came from, where he’s going, but too what he thinks of his surroundings, which can then incorporate why he thinks what he does... which is the basis for persona.
WRITING STYLE (10/30)
~ Technique ~ 4
~ “Like an Alerarian freight train.” This and other uses of metaphors and similes are good attempts, but make sure they’re not just tossed in to the mix. Too many following each other and the reader just wants to get on with the story, one in the middle of a part of the story that makes the person stop and ask why it’s there and it does the same thing. This one, is a little of the latter of the two, it is tossed in with the preceding sentence regarding snoring, neither of which were necessary. But it is also separated and made to act as its own sentence, which throws off its use. Secondly, Alerar doesn’t have freight trains… the technology of a train are too far advanced for Althanas.
~ Mechanics ~ 3
~Besides misuse of words, such as using a homonym instead of the word you intended (i.e. were for we’re), you tend to change tenses at times which is just something you have to be careful about doing. “Even her voice is soft and heathery…” is should be was; “The president of Kessingale, a mysterious man no one has ever seen…” The word has should have been ‘had’, but that brings up the issue of using progressive tense. The sentence could have been worded without the use of progressive tense by saying ‘a mysterious man no one ever saw…’ and you would avoid both the present and progressive tenses. [post 2]
~ Clarity ~ 3
~The way you write dialogue makes it very difficult to read at times. I must admit that I was forced to re-read multiple lines in order to comprehend who it was that was speaking, as well as make sure that the person speaking wasn’t the person answering. Just put a small space between responses and it would be much clearer. And the long, long sentences that are connecting multiple dependent clauses through the use of commas makes it very difficult to follow a train of thought. Commas are not your enemy, unless there are a lot of them, and the beginning of the sentence and the end of the sentence are two completely different topics.
WILD CARD!!! 5
TOTAL
(38/100)
GAINS/REWARDS!
~Xos gains 352 exp and 85 gold
~I will approve the spoil on the condition that it does not boost your spells right now, and you cannot sell it under any circumstance.
General Notes
~ “Fresh and restored from a fight with a talkative man named Edward Judorne, I had been walking down the steps wishing I had been there for graduation.” [post 1] In this sentence you start well to explain where you are coming from, a little bit of character, and where you are headed. However, there are a few mistakes. First comes from ‘had been’, progressive tense detracts from writing; at times it fits and is necessary. In this situation the use of ‘was’ would work much better. Second is the part that says ‘walking down the steps’, what steps were you walking down? What were the steps like? What building were you coming from? Questions like that help the reader understand the situations that are going on around the character. The last part is ‘wishing I had been there’, this is an example of when the progressive tense can be used well and indeed was used correctly; the issue with this piece is the word there though. Where is there? What was the graduation for? You answer the question of who the graduation was for in the set of dialogue that follows, but never answer directly the question of where there is immediately following. Be careful in your use of pronouns without a preceding noun that it describes, or at the very least the noun it is being used in place of being explained directly after the use of the pronoun.
~Post 7 with The Dark Man: First, at the beginning of the post you were talking about the books you found in the tower that you had never been too before. In this post you speak of how you became the most powerful of all magicians, and continue on about it. I don’t understand how or why you are, how does a tower you JUST found and books that you JUST read instantly translate into their in-depth and perfected knowledge. It seems that you are trying to make your character very powerful so that you can play it as such in your created world, but it also doesn’t make sense.
Next you say you exited the vortex, what vortex, where did it come from? Where did it take you?
“The smell, imagine the worst smell you've ever had the misfortune of smelling, unless of course you've actually been around Kajeenith, in which case you don't have to imagine, but for the rest of you, multiply the worst scent you've ever run across one hundred times over, and that's as best as I can describe” : First thing about this sentence, it’s a VERY long run on sentence. The comment about the overuse of commas I made earlier, apply it to this. Secondly, you tell us, the reader, to imagine something. It’s a use of second person, which is not supposed to happen in any writing outside of choose your own adventure books. It’s a change in tense, and a change to a tense that never ends well for a writer. The second issue with the small area is that instead of giving examples (a time when metaphors would add to technique and examples add to setting) you tell us. Don’t tell us, show us, make the reader’s mind imagine something that you gave us, not that we came up with.
“That is, he speaks, and things get destroyed. Pots shatter, plants die, buildings explode, the ground shakes, you get the picture. As it was, he was holding me by the shoulders.” : How did you not die from his speech? Why is your character able to listen and respond without being killed instantly as you said his voice does?
~Post 8 with the explination of the beginning, use of “I” when using first person: The entire 8th post was The Dark Man (for sake of easier spelling) talking about where he and the mythos of the world had come from. Now, not a bad way of writing it, you didn’t use any parenthesis, except once towards the end of a paragraph about 6 paragraphs towards the bottom. If he’s speaking you need to have parenthesis around his speech. A novelist will tell you that a continuation of speech from one paragraph to the next only requires that you put a parenthesis at the beginning of the new paragraph that’s continuing. On Althanas it’s customary to put them around the entire paragraph that’s a continuation, just for clarities sake.
The second issue with this passage is that you have him speaking in first person, which he would if he was talking about himself and how the universe began. However, since Xos was telling this story through the first person, and there was no clear division between the separate voices.
~The entire post 9, regarding pregnancy and promises: First, I don’t know how she would know she’s pregnant not even 24 hours after it happens and be angry about it. I didn’t get what promises were being made between the two, or how a child from one night was an ABSOLUTE. Stuff like that needs to be hammered out when you write. It takes away from the clarity of the story, away from the continuity, and especially away from the pacing. It’s a curve ball, thrown from behind the reader’s line of sight... No clue how else to explain it. And be careful with opinions, such as about conception, since things like that can be argued about easily.
Witchblade
11-07-08, 07:30 AM
EXP and GP added!
Xos reaches level 1! Congrats ;)
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