Lessons in Victimology The Red Death Vs. Zaith Tenimi

[Destrudo]

The following occurs at the docks.
The Primary area is a 10 foot by 20 foot section of dock. On the northeast section, there is a large crate of breakable glass goods, in plain oaken crates marked only by the words Fragile written in red ink. The Northwest section is fragile, being made of rotting timber and crumbling stone. The center of this quadrant is unstable enough to cause both participants to tumble into the waters below where a hungry water monster waits to eat them both while the rest of the quadrant only has holes small enough to make a leg fall through, enough to delay one for a port or two while they pry their leg out of the whole. The Southwest section contains a wagon parked at the very corner of the Arena. The Southeast is the most stable, but is littered with droped crates containing various implemts of sharp stabby doom. Exact contents are of Iron, but what the weapon in each is may be decided by the fighter who cracks open the oak crate.

The hungry water monster:
This Aberration seems to be a cross between a small sea serpent, and a large octopus. It has the head of a sea serpent, and it's tail splits and fans out into eight tentacles. While possessing no magic, it does have several sharp rows of teeth. Being exceptionally hungry, all that is needed is for a participant to be attacked, is for one to fall in the water and thrash about as they try to get to shore, or over to a pole to climb back up and out of the hole. Known as the Octo-serpent.

Destrudo sat in the seaside tavern, drinking a tall glass of milk.
A few days ago he had walked into the pagoda expecting a serious opponent, the monks had even set him up with one of their warriors, but the bastard fled the pagoda before anything of interest could happen.

In apology, the monks offered Destrudo the warrior's position. With a smile and a haunting laugh, Destrudo accepted. Upon asking if there was anything special he wanted in Arena, he replied saying Death could happen anywhere, at anytime, and so he chose the city itself for his fights.

Upon saying this, he turned on his heel, and walked off. He decided to remain sober, no telling when he might get an opponent. Destrudo knew he would gain in power, but what really thrilled him the most, was the chance to make others suffer, while honing his skills.

As the Bartender slid him another glass of milk, he slid a piece of paper with it.

A challenger awaits thee by the name of Zaith Tenimi.

"Heh, send him out here to the docks. I'll give him a workout." Destrudo replied with a snarl.

"As you wish." The monk said that was behind Destrudo. Desturdo turned, but the monk was already gone.

-----------------------------------------------------------

As Destrudo's challenger walked the docks, crowds of people clustered around him on their own business. Suddenly, they all pulled away from Zaith, as he became surrounded by a ring of ten monks, marking the farthest edges of a ten by twenty foot area. Boxes were scattered in one part, and stacked in another. A wagoneer left his wagon and hurried off, not wanting to be in the way of the action. The crowd stood just behind the monks, watching the action. Murmuring in excitement.

"I'll give Three to One Odds against the challenger!" Shouted one better.
"I'll take that, whose ever heard of this warrior anyway?" Shouted another, soon the air was filled with the sounds of gambling.

Thunk...Thunk...Thunk...Thunk...

The heavy steps of Destrudo silenced the crowd. They had never seen a glowing man before.

"I think you might want to rework those odds." Destrudo whispered in the silence, using his supernatural voice to unsettle the onlookers and his opponet even more.

"I am Destrudo, The Prince of Noctum, but you will know me only as The Red Death, from this point forward. Come Half-breed, prove you deserve your existence." Destrudo whispered again, never taking his eyes off his opponet. As the waves lapped gently against the docks, Destrudo brought up his hands, and readied himself to make his opponet suffer in agony and shame.

[shinigami_90]

He looks up, eyes gowing bright as the light refelcts from them "Prove to YOU? And What PRINCE would actually come out of his high-class life-style to challange me, a low life peasent who is messed up so bad it would make a dragon seem human?" he says waving his hands in front of him bent at the elbows. The sunlight gleaming of the shoulder armor that is now exposed as Zaith takes off his robe and sets it on the ground out of the way. He then dusts the armor off and stands there for a few moments, taking in the scenery, noticing where things are, who is where and the prince's posistion compared to his.


"Excus me, your Highness, but honestly, is this 'feud' gonna be legit or what not? Cause if not, then I will just gather what i want from the area and be on my merry way" he says looking around still but keeping his main attention on the prince, or as he says he is.

As the waves smashed against the walls that started the city limits Zaith grabs his sword that was strapped across his waist, from side to side, so as he brings it out, the sunlight left begins to reflect off of it and make the sword shimmer in the dying sun light as he draws it out he takes hold of it with one hand and stands there with the tip of the blade facing the prince while he stands there.

[Destrudo]

The monks themselves grinned.
"Moron." Destrudo muttered. He was excited, finally he was going to make someone suffer, finally, someone was going to hurt, and he was going to be the cause of it.

He stomped a hole in a nearby long box, and inside was a steel heavy maul. Destrudo wasn't skilled with weapons, but he didn't have that much advantage over a sword either. It didn't take a genius to figure out that one had to swing the big heavy end at his opponent for that matter.

Though his poor grip belied his inexperience with the weapon, it didn't alleviate the elevated danger Destrudo now posed.

The Heavy Maul was really just a really big hammer, some people used them to drive posts in the ground. The shaft was four feet long, and the head added another half of a foot. With Destrudo's long reach, It was almost a guarantee that Destrudo would be able to hit Zaith before Zaith could hit him. Some of the timbers and stone in one area looked rather, weak, if he could knock zaith into that area, then perhaps the ocean could do his job for him.

So as Destrudo came within swinging range, He gripped the hammer for a swing, and then swung with all his strength, hopping to break some ribs in the process, for he swung straight for the middle. He was in full battle mode now, and had a firm grip on his emotions.

[shinigami_90]

As Destrudo charged Zaith he quickly prepared for the worst and put his sword into a defensive stance. So as Destrudo drew closer he raised his Heavy Maul and swung at Zaith's unguarded side and just barely nipped, yet the hit was hard enough to knock him to the ground and knock the wind out of him; as he hits the ground hard the blow to him forces him to drop his sword and it skid off a few feet to the right behind a pile of small crates


All that Zaith has on his mind right now is "oh god dammit what have i gotten myself into now?" so he's thinking of what to do, since he can memorize a person he should notice something on this 'prince' that no one else can so he thinks hard about what he can do to get out of this situation.

[Destrudo]

Destrudo grinned with satisfaction. The dumb ass had the wind knocked of him, and now, he was Destrudo's play toy. He lost this the moment he decided to give Destrudo first strike. He looked at the monks for a second as he dropped the hammer beside him, and then ran over, picked up Zaith's sword, and tossed it further away from Zaith.

He looked down at Zaith as he struggled to regain his breath.
"Time to give death it's due." Destrudo whispered meanicingly. He knelt on Zaith, drawing his dagger from his belt in the process.

He grabbed Zaith's sword hand, and began sawing through his wrist. If he couldn't weild his sword, he couldn't provide a challenge.

[shinigami_90]

As Destrudo started cutting into Zaith's wrist's he grins trying not to show it hurts. So as he is ther trying not to flinch much he's also trying to get Destrudo off by forcing his self up and it works slowly, but he manages to get free after Destrudo manages to cut halfway through his wrist.

He jumps to his feet and looks at the cut then up to Destrudo, eyes bloodshot from a mixture of pain and anger and somehow he just stands there, hands hanging down his sides, the blood dripping from the wrist and hitting the ground. Drip, Drip, Drip. As he eyes Destrudo he manages a few words "It would be wise not to get me angry my liege, for when i get too angry, unspeakable things may happen to you and id have no control over it. So please for YOUR own health lay down your arms" he says as he looks around for his sword, and he sees the climmer of the balde at least a good 7ft away. So he then tackles Destrudo and afterwards goes to his sword and grabs the hilt of the blade and brings it to his front and prepres to defend himself yet again.

[Destrudo]

Destrudo laughed hard, and almost uncontrollably.
"You don't understand, not one bit, these are the monks of Aibrone. Nothing is ever for keeps with them. I'm tired of beating your stupid ass without a real challenge, so I'll fill you in, Give me your best, give me all you got, don't hold back with even one single thing, for after all is said and done, they'll restore us both to normal, and it will be as though the fight never happened. You CAN'T do anything permanent to me, even if you were to hack me to pieces, they can still restore me." He growled at Zaith.
"It's true." the nearest monk shouted.
"Shut up fat ass, if I wanted your opinion I'd give it to you then beat it out of you." Destrudo snapped at the fat monk with rosy cheeks who had spoken up. The crowd chuckled.

Destrudo walked towards Zaith, a slow menacing pace, and once he was within Leg's reach of Zaith, aimed a kick straight for his Jaw. Destrudo was rather tall, so he doubted anything besides his legs might get hit. Even still, with Zaith's injured sword hand, he probably couldn't hit so hard that Destrudo's Leather's couldn't protect him anyway.

[shinigami_90]

As Zaith flew at least 5 ft backwards the only thought on his mind is "oh god damned im a cooked goose now".Besides the major pain in his jaw from the kick he also has pain all over his head from the neck up. Due to the impact of the kick and the force of it he crashes into a collection of crates and smashes into them full force.

By some god damned miracle he finds a medium health potion and quicky chugs it as fast as he can before Destrudo can do any more damage. So after he downs it, he chucks it toward Destrudo and grabs his sword and ignites it on fire with his Fira spell hoping it would cut through the leather alot easier now. "DESTRUDO, DO EVERYONE HERE A FAVOR AND SHUT THE FUCK UP, OR DO I HAVE TO SHUT YOU UP MYSELF?" as he raises his sword and slashes at the wind in a circular motion trying to do something he's never done, a fire cyclone, a small yet deadly one if hit right.

[Destrudo]

Destrudo hadn't simply been standing idle while Zaith rolled around on the ground. He had moved, away. One section of his little play area looked exceptionally brittle, and weak. In fact, as he moved into that section it creaked and groaned dangerously.

It was time to end this, and it was time to end this now. Destrudo had become tired of his play toy. a trip into the ocean should end things nicely. That was when the mongrel dog dared talk back.

"Ohh, so your sword burns. I'm so scared now. I don't know if I can shut up, why don't you come on over here and make me with you big flaming sword." Destrudo taunted. He moved carefully around some of the spots he noted as being weaker. His plan was to grab Zaith and suplex him into the center of the brittle section.

[shinigami_90]

"Hmm and that I shall do so but there is more business to hold here then just this fight, for instance i know your game plan i believe" he says still spinning his sword clockwise toward Destrudo.

So he looks around and notices the ground he is on is very weak, like anymore weight would make it collapse. "Ahh fuck" he says as he tries to think of a way to get off of the weak ground and behind Destrudo at the same time.


He then notices the buldings aren't that big up so he makes a mad dash to the closest one and jumps to grab the railing and pulls himself up, slowly, but surely he gets up there, "i love the view" he says with his wrist still bleeding and the sword still burning, glowing brighter since the sun is going down now. "shit not good" as he goes around looking for Destrudo who was dissappeared since he got up here

[Destrudo]

What's he doing now?

Destrudo backed up apprehensivly towards the center of the rickety area. The boards complained dangerously and loudly.

Destrudo stood there watching Zaith screw around ontop of the buildings.
It's been almost a minute by now surely. I know I severed at least one or two major veins, he must be about bleed out, he should be dying any moment now.
Destrudo recalled a time when he cut open a major vein on some random passerby just to watch him bleed to death. It took the victim about a minute to die.

[shinigami_90]

Zaith noticed Destrudo eyeing the gash on his wrist from when he carved it. "Whats wrong? thinking i should be dead? do me a favor, do your homework...im not a normal human ok? i may look it but im more non-human then actual human ok?" as he took his flaming sword and drove it into the roof far enough to where the roof catches on fire, so as the fire spreads he jumps to the next closest and repeats "now we are fighting in MY element"


As the buildings burn some collapse and make more dangers in the arena, or what will be left of it when Zaith and Destrudo are done.

[Destrudo]

Destrudo watched, unimpassioned.
Let the fool do my work for me.

The burning and collapsing buildings however, did more than add danger, they added weight, and the second roof Zaith was on collapsed, taking him and the other buildings around him down with the entire local section of docks, as the old weakened section of dock and boardwalk collapsed completly, taking not only Zaith and Destrudo, but all ten monks and the crowd with them into the ocean.

"Now look at what you've done MORON! At least I only would've caused a small you sized hole in the deck, not collapsed the entire fucking boardwalk because I had to play with fire and collapse buildings. Get your ass over here boy, it's time this was finished." Destrudo shouted at Zaith. They were all swimming in the ocean, but the monks had worked their magic, and teleported themselves and the crowd back up to the dock, leaving just Destrudo and Zaith swimming in the ocean.

But there was more in the ocean than just Destrudo and Zaith. The scent of blood can attract hungry predators from long distances away. In this instance, a hungry Octo-serpant who happened to be close by, braved the strange new currents in the water for the chance at food. It followed the blood to the source, being an excellent swimmer in comparison to either Zaith or Destrudo. It eyed the man from behind him, and surmised that he would be an easy kill.

Without warning or notice, it struck, wrapping it's tenticles around Zaith and immediately going for a killing bite to where it sensed Zaith's heart beating in his chest.

Destrudo noticed the water monster, and immediately made for the nearest section of dock he could climb up.

[shinigami_90]

"YOU BASTARD GET BACK HERE AND HELP ME" Zaith shouted to Destrudo "YOU HELP ME, ILL MAKE A DEAL WITH YOU" and at the sound of a deal Destrudo cocked his head back and went back to help Zaith who is tring to get free, un-successfully of couse.

As the Octo-serpant tightens it's grip, Zaith feels something inside him that he's never felt before and it is growing at least 10 fold. Just as the octo-serpant goes in for the kill Zaith manages to free his injured hand from earlier and grabs the creature by the drooling tongue and sets his hand on fire so the creature whips his head back as Destrudo watchs as Zaith some how gains a small amount of energy from who knows where from. Zaith then takes his other hand which is now on fire and grabs a small dagger from the inside his sleeve and pierces the creature's right eye.


And by doing so, the creature let a painful screech out and roared back in pain and slightly loosening it's grip on Zaith; unbeknownst to the creature, thats all Zaith needed to get his sword free and pierce the creature in its skin, as hard as it is, Zaith managed it, but in the process cracking his sword.

[Destrudo]

But Zaith was wrong, Destrudo did not turn back to help him, he must have been hallucinating it. This was because Destrudo wasn't the sort to help anyone, except under certain circumstances, and a battle in which there was really nothing at stake wasn't one of them, so Destrudo instead reached the dock and proceeded to climb.

Perhaps the hallucinations Zaith saw of Destrudo were because of blood loss, or maybe there was some other explaination, but whatever their cause, they were not the truth.

So, as Zaith fought the Octo-Serpent and killed it, Destrudo reached the top of the docks, feeling like a waterlogged sea-rat.

"I'm not making a deal with you, you pose no threat to me. What have you done to me so far? Nothing, that's what, sure I took a dip in the ocean, but you attracted a hungry water monster. What have I done to you? Horrible things. Look at you, your a mess. Give up, go home, or I will kill you." Destrudo warned. The crowd was getting restless and angry. Some knew they were wrong to bet on the stranger floating in the ocean. Others were happy, because they knew they were right to bet on Destrudo. All were upset because their cargo was now at the bottom of the ocean.

"Yeah, go home, you suck!" "You owe us for all our cargo sent to the bottom of the ocean!" were just two of the more polite jeers coming from the crowd.
Others had picked up debris to speed up the end of the bedraggled competitor, but a stern look from the monks stopped that.

[shinigami_90]

So as the octo-serpent slithers and falls to the ocean floor Zaith swims to shore slowly and painfully. So he gets up on shore and dries himself off the best he can with his fira magic "Why give up on something that is amusing in some kinda way. this is actually quite fun to me" he says smirking "but right now before things get to outta hand, we should end this in a sudden death draw"

As by some spell Zaith draws out a broad sword "Destrudo, meet Brother, my most powerful weapon. And my brother in arms. Ive had him since i was 21" So Zaith aims Brother's blade straight up and places his free hand on the blade and starts murmuring a chant of the sort to enchant Fira and Earth elements in the blade its self. Brother then starts glowing a bright white all over the blade; and just as quick as it appears, it vanished just like that.

[Destrudo]

Destrudo no longer cared, he just wanted this massacre to be over, but the ass didn't know when he was beaten. He figured one good kick outta send him back into the ocean, If Destrudo was lucky, he'd crack his head open on something below, not that there was much for Zaith to crack his head on, maybe a hidden rock beneath the waters, but Destrudo wasn't counting on it.

He charged at Zaith, made a leap, and extended his right leg for one of his rare flying kicks.

[shinigami_90]

As Destrudo leaped towards Zaith, he just sighs and stands there till he gets close enough. "Oh wow a leaping kick" he says mockingly. So Zaith takes Brother and goes and slashes the air around him, making the air around him more and more humid. So as Destrudo gets so close with the kick, Zaith wisens up and sidesteps to the side and out of Destrudo's way, sending him flying past Zaith like a fricking bullet.

"when will you ever learn? i may seem stupid buy i wisen up during fights" Zaith says as destrudo goes sliding on the ground, getting pants torn up as well.

[Destrudo]

Once again, Zaith had to be hallucenating, probably from continued bloodloss.
Destrudo's jump kick wasn't so impressive that a miss would send him flying. Sure he might land a foot past Zaith, but not that far. Even still, his left leg was still straight down, and that kept him from sliding even further.

So, when he landed, he turned his upper torso bringing his fist around to strike Zaith.

[shinigami_90]

As Destrudo swung at Zaith, he brought his same fsit up and caught the blow so Destrudo's fist went into Zaith's fist "See what i mean?" he says as he tries and push the fist back. Then he stabs Brother into the ground real quick and grabs Destrudo's throat.

"Destrudo. it's no use now" Zaith says mockingly as he goes and puts his other free hand around Destrudo's throat and squeez's tight

[Destrudo]

Destrudo grinned. Oh why oh why did this motley fool ever think Destrudo was out of tricks? Anyone could punch, but it took more skill than that to actually use hands as weapons, and Zaith had practically handed use of his over to Destrudo.

He grabbed Zaith's arm, and pushed the Elbow joint in the opposite way it was supposed to bend, slamming it with all the force his right hand could muster. Since Destrudo was taller than Zaith an effective choking would inevitably force his arm to be straight and close to Destrudo's body. The end result of an effective attack, would be for Zaith's arm to be broken and unusable, as the elbow joint gets broken from bending in ways it isn't supposed to.

At the same time, he twisted with the left, the hand gripping Zaith's arm, to twist Zaith's arm off his neck forcibly. How much longer would it take for Zaith to realize he was outclassed?

Destrudo followed this two-pronged attack up with a knee to the groin. It was time to pull out the wrestling moves, now that he was close.

[shinigami_90]

As Destrudo quickly robbed Zaith of his entire left arm, and pretty much there defenseless and pride destroyed as he tries to get out of the grip that Destrudo has his left arm in. Suddenly as the pain increases Zaith starts to black out. Destrudo notices and drops Zaith to the ground and kicks him in the stomach which sends him rolling along the ground into a small gathering of crates which shatters them.

So a few moments pass and there is no movement from the crates and Destrudo thinks he is victorious, but as he starts walking away, he hears commotion from the crates; but as he looks back at them all he sees is a blur as Zaith runs out and punches Destrudo square in the gut forcing the wind out of him and causing him to collapse for a brief second.

"What now? I told you, don't get me mad, or you'd regret it" Zaith says smirking at Destrudo who is in pain, but not like the pain he has been caused the last part of the day.

[Destrudo]

At least, that's what Zaith thought happened. Kicking a fallen man was too simple, too easy, when there were other options to one who studied a variety of fighting styles and was out of character for Destrudo to begin with. But Destrudo, disillusioned with the fight, simply turned and walked away, stopping at the monks breifly to turn back towards the fallen man and mutter a few words only.
"That, was pathetic."

Walking past the monks, the fight ended, and Zaith was forbidden from attacking any further, as they knelt and attended to his wounds. If he did attack Destrudo, he would have to deal with the monks, and no one crossed the monks and survived, no one. Destrudo turned a corner, and disappeared.

With a flash, the docks were restored to the former condition they were in prior to the fight, and even the slain water monster was resurrected, much to it's delight, for as it awoke, it found and devoured a tasty tuna. Zaith meanwhile, would be left to his own devices. Destrudo was no longer anywhere near the arena, and Scara Brae was a large enough island to get lost on, so the chances of Zaith finding Destrudo any time soon were slim to none.

OOC: Make your ending post Shinigami, I'll submit it for judging after you do.

[shinigami_90]

After the arena was 're-furbished' Zaith quicky went to try and find Destrudo and congragulate him on the fight. But no luck, he had vanished like the wind. "How the hell did he....?", so he shrugs his shoulders and goes to grab his cloak. So as he puts it on a note falls out; he opens it and sees "go to the citadel and seek challenges and win. when you think you are ready come back here"

He raises his eyebrows and looks around cautiously sighs heavily then folds the note up and puts it in his small pouch for items.He fetches his swords and sheaths them and goes to the merchants to get what he needs.....

OOC: ok all done here

[Tainted Bushido]

Thank you for being patient guys.

Overall: Guys, I felt you guys had a lot set before you, you tried to accomplish a good fight while trying to tell a story of the underdog fighting the big bad evil guy ™. While I think you guys tried a few things, I saw that the thread had fallen apart on some fundamental levels, and in doing so, it hurt the threads story. I’ll address issues with each of you guys, and try to help you learn where to approve.

Okay, now where’s that new fangled judging rubric…aha here it is!

Onto the judging!

Destrudo

STORY

Continuity ~ 3/10. The problem here Destrudo, was that I got nothing to go off of. I had no clue if this was his first thread, or his fiftieth. I had no sense of accomplishment or past with the character, and that threw me off.

Setting ~ 4/10. You set up your stage, and you tried to use it well. I got the feeling that you were at least making an effort, however Setting is more than just location, its people and places. You at least made nods to that effect, and so you scored a bit higher, however I still felt the stage was a bit blank.

Pacing ~ 2/10. The pacing was nonexistent, and unfortunately this is both characters faults. I’ll talk more about this at the end. You tried to pace, however there was several jarring things written that just killed whatever flow there was.

CHARACTER

Dialogue ~ 3/10. Insults were thrown, people were angered, and yet nothing seemed to come of it. I felt these lines were a bit flat, spoken in a void and attached to this thread because they were fitting of a villain. This was really my only insight into what Destrudo was meant to be.

Action ~ 4/10. A low score here means I have no sense of who he is. What does Destrudo like besides gutting his opponent and causing suffering? Is there anything he dislikes other than someone stopping his only known like? I had nothing to gauge whether his actions were out of character, or within. The only reason you actually scored as high as you did, was the fact that you walked away. Insults thrown and walking away actually worked in your favor. Hence why your score isn’t abysmal, but at the near midway point.

Persona ~ 3/10. Who is Destrudo? Does he work for money fame power glory? What does he do? I heard he’s a Prince, but what’s Noctum? I got no sense of who he was, and unfortunately that hurt you.

WRITING STYLE

Technique ~ 2/10. There wasn’t a lot here. I know part of this is your opponent’s fault, however try to keep afloat. There are ways of incorporating good writing in here without relying on opponent’s prompt.

Mechanics ~ 3/10. You have many missing letters/words/wrong words. I would suggest reading your posts aloud to catch the ones word won’t pick up. Practice will be your only friend here.

Clarity ~ 5/10. You were clear, but mechanics is what stopped you from going further. I had to sometimes reread passages to get what words were missing, and what words were meant to be.

MISCELLANEOUS

Wild Card ~ 6/10. You put in the effort, just remember to keep it up, you need to practice to get good.

Total: 35!

STORY

Continuity ~ 0/10. I got no feeling of where Shinagami fit in here. I understand that this is a role playing site, however to get points in this category you have to talk a bit about your character. His past experiences, how they shaped him, how he works. This all helps build the story of Shinigami, remember, a fresh character still has a past, and that past will continue to affect him.

Setting ~ 4/10. Nominal use of the setting helped you. The use of the building and how it was set on fire was technically use of said settings, when they were remembered at all. Don’t forget the people, use them too. Culture is as much a setting as the location.

Pacing ~ 2/10. See Destrudo, there was no sense of pace in this thread, just choppy actions.

CHARACTER

Dialogue ~ 3/10. Your character unfortunately didn’t strike me with his dialogue. I couldn’t tell if it was you talking through your character, or your character talking at times. Differentiating the character with Dialogue is key.

Action ~ 1/10. There was action, and then there was improper action. You got points for at least trying to go along with Destrudo, however you suffer mainly because of your forcing actions on the other player. Destrudo didn’t go along with them, which resulted n both players low pacing scores. However, as you can see, you suffered on two counts, while he suffered only on one. Remember, Bunnying (The Act of writing your opponent’s actions, without their permission) is forbidden on Althanas.

Persona ~ 2/10. Who is Shinigami? What are his likes and dislikes? What kind of a guy is he? What is this cryptic warning he has?

WRITING STYLE

Technique ~ 2/10. I saw nothing approaching an advanced technique. No Metaphors or Similes, nothing that seemed witty or clever. One trap of role playing is to merely write your character’s actions, which is a style of role playing. However you need to give insight into your character, this isn’t a session of Dungeons and Dragons where your actions alone can carry you through the game.

Mechanics ~ 2/10. You suffered here because of dropped words, missing letters, and wrong words. You didn’t give me much to work with, but what you did was riddled with errors best found with Microsoft Word and reading your own posts aloud.

Clarity ~ 4/10. See Destrudo.

MISCELLANEOUS

Wild Card ~ 6/10. You’ll see better days, please take my advice, contact me and I’ll be more than willing to elaborate on what’s been given.

Total: 26!

DESTRUDO WINS!

Destrudo gets 425 EXP and 200 GP
Shinigami_90 gets 150 EXP

Any EXP rewards given are based off of the Battle Equation. Any questions regarding what was said can be addressed to me via PM or AIM SethDahlios.

[Witchblade]

EXP and GP added!