The Nameless City (Valanthe's Journey)(Solo)

[Valanthe]

Across the burning desert sands, through the haunted city of the dead, and beyond the great sandstorm lies an unfathomable city, made by Demons, inhabited by abominations against the order of nature, and visited only by the damned.
~ local Fallien rumor

In some case studies, patients who exhibit no signs of Schizophrenia or any other malady of the mind will go to great lengths to convince anyone willing to listen that there are places in Althanas that are hidden from normal folks. Places that harbor monastic orders devoted to dark and evil deeds who take citizens from all over Althanas to these hidden places and do disturbing things to them. This cannot obviously be true, for if even a tenth of these stories were true, then these particular patients would be horribly deformed and heavily cursed beyond all recognition, yet not even the brothers of Aibrone can find anything wrong with these people. The only reason their cases are noteworthy, is because despite their great distances and the difficulty with which they would have in trying to communicate with one another, is because they all have in common the thought that these monastic orders all bow to a single leader in their hidden unnamed capital city somewhere in the sands of Fallien.
~The Alerarian Institue of Psychology, excerpt from a study on mental illness.
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A darkened room, covered in revolting symbols depicting practices too horrible to put in any language, written, or spoken. Similarly adorning the walls are bloodstains, and in some spots, the remains of once living people.
On the floor in the exact center is the symbol of a massive vortex, absorbing all that touches it. The room is such, that it even seems to be absorbing those within the room.

Those in the room are black robed monks, over a thousand strong. They appear human, but this is obviously a poor disguise for something altogether, different. Some of them have eyes that glow. These eyes are as far from human as concievably possible. Even demons and wild things have either rounded, or slitted pupils. These things had neither. Sure their eyes glowed, but it was as staring into a great gaping void. Of those with glowing eyes, which were clearly of a higher rank than those without glowing eyes, Some had on plain silver chains. Some few were gold. One had a diamond attached, and one monk was robed in white, with black cuffs.

They had gathered in this room for one reason, ceremonial rites. Before them sat an alter, black, and stained crimson with the memory of past victims. It was built such that it almost resembled a bowl. Small cracks placed at various locations drained the pooled blood down the alter forming designs, once of course, a victim was slain. Such was the fate of the young blond brought in from Corone. She struggled against her bonds with futile effort, as the white robed monk walked around her muttering incantations under his breath. The rest seemed to be waiting for a cue. The young girls screamed in pain, and though no faces could be seen under the hoods, one got the impression that the monks were smiling, thriving on her terror.

The white robed monk, known as The Hierarch, placed his hands on the young woman. She screamed in pain and agony, as every nerve in her body was increased in sensitivity dramatically, and then flooded with feelings of pain. The young woman regretted not listening to her father's words to keep her hands off that perkins boy until she was married. She had snuck off her father's farm to meet up with her boyfriend. They were going to be intimate together for the first time, for her first time. Instead half way there, she was lost in a freak fog, and when it lifted, she was in a cage, being taken somewhere, accross the seas, and over the sands of Fallien, to a city whose very design she could not fathom.

The monk took his hands off her, leaving two great wounds where his hands had been. It seemed to be the cue the rest were waiting for, as they began walking, following the curves of the vortex, chanting the same incantation the white monk was chanting. As it happened, the alter was set in the very center of the vortex.

The girl's virgin blood ran down the alter, following symbols carved into the prevalida alter. One was the symbol of the sun setting for the last time on Althanas, one was the symbol of the wind dying, fire growing cold, the crops dying, the waters growing still, and something that might've been any of the dominate althanian races lying in eternal slumber.

The symbols seemed to activate an enchantment, an enchantment formed by the continuous incantations of the monks, one that required the sacrifice of a virgin soul. The floor appeared to begin to sink, as a great droning buzz picked up in the air. Vision became distorted, making it seem like the vortex was real, and actively turning. Perhaps it really was, for no one could ever really be sure.

The white monk changed his incantations, as he drew a glowing spectral knife, one that could pierce the very fabric of one's soul. The girl died, and before her soul could free itself and escape the city, the knife fell once, twice, thrice, and ended even her soul's existence.

The monks all formed rows before the alter, kneeled before it, and touched their heads to the very floor, each chanting the exact same thing:

"Lumair, Arachna, Kajeenith Negus, M'lg'na Grell N'thad."
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Dark winds and black clouds rolled over Fallien. Those who had shelter to hide in, did so. Those who had no where to hide buried themselves in the sand. Most attributed it to Suravani, but something told them to hide, for something was coming, something they didn't want to be near.

Only one being remained unhidden, and unafraid. A protecive golden glow surrounded her. She knew she was too late to save the girl, but perhaps the ascension was still possible to oppose.

Valanthe Xilanthese, protected by the power of her god, weathered the dark magics rolling through Althanas.

As she crested the last dune, sheltering her eyes from the sandstorms, she finally saw The Nameless City for the first time in her life. She shook her head, thinking she was seeing things. The entire city was built in the style of Cyclopean masonry, huge limestone boulders from somewhere, fitted together with minimal clearance. But even still, it looked like giants had built the city, so massive were the individual stones, that no ordinary person could have possibly lifted them. Valanthe saw normal houses, and towers, but they were wrong. She didn't know much about buildings and how to make them, but she knew enough to know that there was utterly no feasible way they should be standing, except by exceptionally powerful magic, or divine will. Acute angles were acting Obtuse. Triangles had been made to be square. Certain stones had been stacked at such an angle, as to be falling, and yet they did not. She spied a narrow pathway, yet within that single narrow pathway was affixed a great gulf wide enough for three armies to march side by side, sixteen men abreast.

She thought things couldn't get any worse, but then she spotted the central temple. It looked like a pyramid, and indeed it was, complete with a point, but what really got Valanthe was that a complete second pyramid stood, inverted, atop it, point to point. Around it in wide lanes walked men in black robes, in single file, as though the space was so narrow that they couldn't walk side by side.

Valanthe had a feeling that it was all a lie, that none of this was real, yet she had to accept it as being real, for what other choice did she have? She wondered why someone stronger wasn't being sent to stop the ascension of The Dark Man. Three days ago she had just arrived at the Outlander's Quarters to visit Fallien and see what it was like. Everyone deserves a break, especially after the harrowing experience that took place in the red forest of Raiaera, involving The Dark Man, and her own families past. Then in a dream that night, The Omni told her something terrible was about to happen, and that she had to fly across the sands to try and prevent it, and that a yound woman's life was at stake. No, that wasn't the term he had used, her existence was at stake. She knew she was too late to save her life, but how to save her existence?

Valanthe sighed, and decided she didn't need sanity after all, as she made her final approach to the great city before her, a city many would willingly sell their very soul to N'jal to get to and see, if only to get their hands on even the smallest fraction of the power rumored to be hidden here.

[Valanthe]

"Lumair, Arachna, Kajeenith Negus, M'lg'na Grell N'thad." The monks had been chanting this same Incantation over and over again, paying no heed to the rising amounts of power it was causing. Then, seemingly of it's own accord, it all stopped. The clouds rolled away, the wind died down, the monks stopped chanting, stood up, and went about their daily business leaving the dead girl on the alter, her soul pinned to her body.

One might think they would cluster around the results of their work eagerly, but then one had to understand, The Brotherhood had no free will, for they gave it up willingly to The Dark Man, which was who they had called to The Nameless City and who had willed them all to just go away. The Dark Man circled the alter, smiling at the body with a menacing, yet somehow benevolent grin.

"So your my key to this world, the one who will let me in. Don't worry, your pain shall soon pass, your misery finally ended. When The Alignment comes, I will no longer be the outsider, I won't be The Dark Man, I will be who I truly am. Can't they see the truth? Can't they see what's before their very eyes? They are all beyond redemption, for they have committed the two most unforgivable of crimes. The sin of associating with The Omnisource, and the most terrible sin of all, the sin of existing." The Dark Man said.

The spirit of the young woman felt confusion. She just wanted to escape to the anti-firmament as was her right, why was he keeping her trapped here? What more could they possibly do to her, she was dead already, and if they were going to make her undead, wouldn't they have done so by now?

"Don't worry, sweet child, all shall become abundantly clear, soon enough." The Dark Man said. He turned and raised his head, as though looking through the walls.

"Ahh, we meet again, this time, on my terms." The Dark Man said.

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Valanthe had just passed the first of the towers after the clouds and winds stopped, when the feeling of being watched froze her steps. She knew she had been spotted, and looked about, but everyone seemed to be ignoring her, so she moved on, but more cautiously. She touched a tower, and felt a massive willpower willing it to stay in place as it was. She marveled at the amount of concentration it must have took to hold it like that. She took three steps away, when suddenly all her senses cut out.

Valanthe looked around in panic, but saw nothing, for she had no vision, she could feel nothing, smell nothing, she couldn't even taste or hear anything.

Then she regained her senses, and discovered she was in a prison cell, with The Dark Man staring at her from the outside.

"So, we meet again. It's been awhile since Havergast mansion, Valanthe. Have you decided to open your eyes to the truth of the flaws in creation? Have you accepted that it needs to be destroyed?" The Dark Man asked in a cordial manner.
Valanthe just glared at him.

"That's what I thought. There's someone who wants to meet you, someone very special to me. Your going to be nice and meet with this person." The Dark Man said.

[Valanthe]

Valanthe was cut off from her senses again. She wondered how much time had passed. At least she still had sense of herself. When her senses regained, she was atop the temple. She was surprised for it was, pleasant.

Grass covered the top as far as the eye could see, and houses dotted the landscape, very nice houses, obviously belonging to lords and ladies. Here and there fountains depicting various scenes splashed fountains of crystal clear water down their sides.

Trees of apple blossoms made lanes running here and there. There were no members of the brotherhood in dark robes, only plain ordinary men and women of many species, playing in the grass, chatting by the fountains, having feasts of many delicious foods, and generally just enjoying life. Valanthe walked along in confusion, watching as two men threw a disc at one another.
"Greetings Friend, wanna play catch with us?" one of them asked.
"No thanks." Valanthe called back.
Still, a small group of people enjoying a feast noticed her walking as well.
"Howdy Neighbor, why don't you come join in our feast of the fall? Room for one more." One of the participants invited.
Valanthe was hungry, and very tempted, but refrained, afraid of the sudden pleasantness in the center of all this evil.
The people were very friendly, and the aroma in the air was very delicious. More than once Valanthe found herself considering joining them. One pair of people were engaged in a lively debate over the purpose and function of nature, and she wanted to join in on it so badly, but she had other reasons for being here.

In the center she found a small temple. Right as she found the temple, the people began to gather at it, inside was a gigantic throne made of gold, silver, gems and jewels with a core of granite. It could clearly turn, and right now it's back was to the crowd.
"Come friend, it is time for our daily meeting, to hear the Dark Priestesses wise words of truth and wisdom." One woman begged.

Valanthe could resist no longer, and with a bright cheerful smile, she nodded and followed them in. She stood in the back, watching as everyone kneeled on the floor, pressing their foreheads to the stone floor, their arms stretched out before them.

The Chair turned, and Valanthe gasped in surprise. The city was beautiful, relaxing and charming, the very arcitecture of The Nameless City was interesting, but the woman on the throne was so alluring, that although Valanthe never once felt attraction for other women in her entire life, she felt it now for this woman. She wanted to do anything for this woman, maybe she would be rewarded with a kiss, or something more.
The woman on the throne had shiny wavy black hair, and blacker eyes. Her skin was soft and white, and her robes were very dark purple. She was laying across the throne, her head propped up on one arm, her legs across the other.

The woman sat up, and stood up.
"So, your the woman who hurt my master, your the one who dares to invade my city." She said, her voice was soft as velvet. She walked towards Valanthe, walking on all the people bowed before her.
"Don't walk on them!" Valanthe cried out for the people.
"These vermin? They are slaves for my pleasure, company for my enjoyment. They owe their very existence to me, and to my will. Everyone, and everything in this city does. Even you, for it was I who stayed Master's hand against simply destroying you." The Dark Priestess said.
She stood beside Valanthe, seeming to not even care that she walked on those who followed her. Valanthe could feel her presence beside her, and wanted to embrace her, to hold her tight. These feelings towards another woman were alien to valanthe, and the fact that another woman could make her feel this way scared her.
"I can read your mind, and it's alright. Everyone desires me, for I possess the power of the deadly allure. There is none living or dead that can resist me, without the outside aid of a higher power. Don't resist Valanthe, give in. You've only seen the light, and of course the light would paint us as an enemy. Let me show you things from our perspective." the woman said, pulling an unresisting Valanthe towards her.
"I, I don't even know your name." Valanthe said weakly.
"Jiralyn. Your caught in my web, and what a pleasant web I weave. Why should I make others to dwell in misery? The Brothers detest soft living, but even they dwell in comfort and security." Jiralyn said.
Valanthe felt as though she should resist, free herself and flee from this woman, but she didn't want to, she was too weak of spirit to resist Jirayn's Deadly Allure, to resist her controlling domineering presence.

Jiraln leaned in close to Valanthe, and kissed her softly on the lips, further enflaming Valanthe's desire. Yet Valanthe didn't know the truth of the matter, for just as she was being controlled by Jiralyn as easily as a child might control a rag doll, so too was she poisoned by Jiralyn's kiss. It wasn't the sort that would kill valanthe, but it was the sort that would weaken her resistance even more, and slowly remove from her, the power of The Omni, replacing it instead with The Dark Man's own.

Valanthe herself felt genuine terror, yet felt helplessly compelled to be around this woman. It seemed as though her soul was slowly slipping away, like water slipping out of a small leak.

This was the reason why The Dark Man brought Valanthe to Jiralyn, to control her, to poison her against the Omni, and force her into servitude. The rest of the people got up and left, leaving Valanthe all alone with Jiralyn.

Jiralyn returned to her throne and sat on it. Valanthe walked over.
"Kneel before me, putting your hands on the floor, but not facing me, nor the door. Face instead the wall." Jiralyn commanded, and Valanthe did as she was told. Jiralyn propped her feet up on Valanthe's back.
"Your doing good, and if you behave yourself, I'll answer your desires to their fullest." Jiralyn promised.

[Valanthe]

Time went by, slowly. Valanthe's thoughts were in turmoil.Her back began to get sore and she wanted so much to get up, but was afraid of upsetting Jiralyn. Then she began to wonder why she was doing this for her. Valanthe wasn't a piece of furniture after all! But Jiralyn was so pretty, and Valanthe wondered exactly what she meant by saying she would answer her desires to their fullest.

Valanthe heard Jiralyn's slow gentle breathing. She had fallen asleep. Valanthe had the opportunity to escape! Valanthe's mind screamed at her to move, to flee, but her muscles stubbornly refused to obey, following her hearts desire to learn more about her new feelings of attraction. She stayed as she was.

The longer she stayed there, the less she thought about fleeing, until finally, she accepted her new attraction completely and no longer thought about escaping, her mind, her body, and her soul completely poisoned by Jiralyn's venomous kiss. She decided to wait patiently for her mistress to awaken, and hope for some small scrap of praise. She discovered she was no longer afraid.

About that time Jiralyn stirred, and removed her feet, standing up.
"You may rise now my pet." Jiralyn cooed.
Valanthe stood.
"If I ask you to tell me something, and be completely honest no matter what it is, will you tell me?" Jiralyn asked.
"Of course." Valanthe replied, only slightly disappointed she didn't get any praise for loyally staying there.
"Tell me, where do your loyalties lie."
"With nature itself. I have been a druidess most of my life, accepting no god or goddess as a guide in my life, and I have no reason to devote myself with all my heart and soul to anyone, even The Omni." Valanthe said.
"And right this second, what do you want the most?" Jiralyn asked.
"You." Valanthe replied.

Jiralyn smiled and embraced Valanthe again, giving her a deeper more passionate kiss than before. More venom poured into Valanthe's body, but it's mind controlling effects were no longer needed. Instead she used it's other effects, and Valanthe began to feel very warm, and very happy.

The two separated, and Jiralyn touched a hidden lever on her throne, causing it to spring aside, revealing a stairway down. She lead Valanthe down to her private rooms. The floors, ceiling, and walls were covered in silk, yet the cords were thick as though from a very large spider. There were mostly red silks about.
"How pretty!" Valanthe murmured, making Jiralyn smile.
"I'm glad you like them, it took me quite awhile to weave my silk together to make all this. If you like, I can make you a fine new dress, just pick your color." Jiralyn said.
"Oh, perhaps one in a deep purple, or dark red." Valanthe said, excited.
"I'll take your measurements later. So what do you think of my city?"Jiralyn asked.
"It's unsettling and intimidating at first because of it's bizarre and unusual appearence, but after meeting everyone, I realize it's just a different way of looking at things." Valanthe said.

Jiralyn produced a length of knotted rope.
"Remove your clothes, all of them." Jiralyn said.
Valanthe hesitated, and then slowly began to remove her clothes.
"It's for accurate measuring, I'd hate to give you a dress far too large for you. Here, if it would help, I'll join you." Jiralyn said, then removed her own clothes, the two naked women stared at each other for a moment. Valanthe wished she were a man so she could fully enjoy Jiralyn's body.
"But you don't need to be a man for that." Jiralyn said smiling.
She took her rope and measured Valanthe's athletic beautiful figure.
"What do you mean?" Valanthe asked, lacking knowledge in this area.
"So pretty, I'm really glad you didn't run away like you were considering, otherwise I wouldn't be able to teach you the secret of what I mean." Jiralyn said, kissing Valanthe's bare shoulder. She wrote Valanthe's measurements down on a nearby parchment, and then turned back to Valanthe, and pulled her closer to her, and down onto her bed.

Some time later, as Valanthe slept on Jiralyn's bed The Dark Priestess cast the sleeping smiling woman one last shot after redressing, and before going back up to her throne.
"Your so easy to control." Jiralyn muttered.

[Valanthe]

On her throne, Jiralyn was laying about, one leg cocked over one arm, even as she leaned against the others. She knew she wasn't alone, most of the time she was, but now she wasn't.

Dark Man came to stand by her throne, Jiralyn sat up straight, and moved to one side of the throne, and he joined her there.

"You have that elf's scent all over you." Dark Man said.
"Well, I have to get some pleasure somehow. It's not as if your ever around much to give it to me. Isn't a husband's first duty to his wife to see to her every need?" Jiralyn asked.
"Whatever, what of The Alignment, do you think she'll be a problem?" The Dark Man asked.
"No, She's filled with the second poison, the pleasure bringing one. She should be out of action for awhile, and even is she does awake, each step will bring a climactic rush of pleasure. She won't have the endurance to make it to the top." Jiralyn said, smiling.
"And what of the third, the poison that brings the long sleep of death?" Dark Man asked.
"I don't think I'll have to use it. She's so enthralled under my Deadly Allure she's convinced she's actually attracted to me. I won't show her my real form, not yet. I can't take off this costume while I've got such a willing slave. The truth of what I am would alienate her from me so much, as to make her immune to Deadly Allure." Jiralyn said.
"What of the preparations for The Alignment?" Dark Man said.
"They are completed, the gods of this world it seems, have been taken by surprise. They won't be ready for The Void."
"Then the assault begins tonight. Here, it shall all end here. With the Destruction of The Omnisource, I shall destroy all things, for all things rely on Omni for existence. With his doom shall come the tailspin, where even a simple scratch will kill the hardiest of warriors. Then at last, night shall descend, forever more, as all things return, to complete nothingness. So I was, so I am, and so I shall be again, The spirit of Nothingness, and I shall be all things." Dark Man said.
Jiralyn stood, for it was almost time to start the ceremonies. She raised her hand, and the walls grew bright white, and the temple shook and trembled.

On a distant sand dune overlooking The Nameless City, a lone Fallienite rubbed his eyes in disbelief, as he saw an entire city grow together and reach into the sky as a single mighty tower. Cities did not just change like that, it had to be the work of Mitra, or the demons said to inhabit the city. Maybe both. Either way, perhaps the treasures within weren't quite so valuable after all. And so even as The Nameless City ceased it's change, the lone Fallienite ran away.
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Valanthe awoke with a snort. She had a terrible dream a spider was eating her alive. She recalled last night, and smiled, with a blush. She sat up, and as she did, pleasure ran through her body, almost incapacitating her with it's heady rush. She felt a tinge of guilt, as she thought of Xos, her husband. The thin weedy little man had been married to her in an arrangement neither of them knew of, or really wanted. Yet still, she felt bad, because she had cheated on her marriage. She had to find him, and apologize.
She decided to get dressed, but it was a slow process, for every time she moved, pleasure tingled through her body, and at first, Valanthe enjoyed this, but then it began to scare her, what if something was wrong?

"Omni, why is this happening? Please, tell me." Valanthe begged, kneeling on the floor, lacking the strength to stand.

A sphere of light coalesced into being before her.
"You are drugged with a non-lethal poison. It forces you to feel immense pleasure. Certain varieties of spider use a similar poison, but to a lesser degree. The more you move, the quicker it is burned away. Come now, to your feet." Omni said.
Valanthe struggled to her feet, and walked about the room. True to Omni's word, eventually, the pleasure faded away.

Valanthe whispered a quick prayer of thanks to Omni, before heading over to the steps. Finding a lever, she threw it, and discovered it moved the throne. She was confused, for no longer was there a massive throne room. Instead there was only a little room in a great tower.

She ran to the edge, and at the base, saw The Brotherhood dancing in peculiar patterns. Then she realized she had seen a summoner draw similar designs once when she was younger. She looked up at the top of the tower, and saw a great white light crackling at the top. Something was going on up there, and she had to stop it.

[Valanthe]

Space, beyond Althanas, and even the solar system in which she exists.

Many place stock in the importance how the planets and stars are positioned in regards to one another. The more powerful the magi, the more important and greater reach of stars you need.

What then, for a God?

For The Dark Man, the entire universe had to be in a certain alignment. Indeed, not everything was in straight lines, or in an alignment as one might normally think, however each galaxy, if one were to draw a line from one to the other in a certain pattern, formed a massive summoning sigil, and even the stars, planets, and black holes within formed smaller summoning sigils of a different type. With so much summoning power in play, someone in the right spot, at the right time, could summon anything, had they the knowledge. A beginner summoner could call forth the most powerful of beings to do her bidding, if only she knew of where to be. And that spot, was where The Nameless City stood, but not just anywhere, one also had to be at the right height, and thus the tower.

So it was that where Dark Man stood was the perfect place to summon something, and for his purposes, he was going to summon Nothing. The Void, the place that is no place. Forever outside of creation, it was the bridge between all that was, and all that was not, Dark Man's domain, and once he opened the door, few could ever close it again, fewer still, could close it forever, and time was short indeed, as Dark Man began to call forth The Void.

As Valanthe raced up the tower, spurred on only by the single notion that something disastrous was about to happen that she had to avert, across Althanas, in key locations, groups of The Brotherhood began to form summoning sigils, boosting The Dark Man's power even further.

Across the sky, light began to flicker, as though the sky were a bad illusion that was beginning to fail. Most people unconnected with The Alignment simply attributed it to lightning. This was mainly due to the fact that clouds had spread across much of the world, so it was an easy thing to say, it's just a storm.

Valanthe raced up the steps, her heart racing, Omni whispered in her heart, telling her to hurry before it was too late. She intended on stopping whatever it was that was happening up there, it had to be her other reason for being here, the ascension, known also as The Alignment. That's what she intended, but once she got up there, that's not what happened.

[Valanthe]

In a place beyond space and time...

Seven entities covered in robes made their way down a hall, one lagging behind the rest, as though she were outcast, yet somehow inextricably tied to, the group. The place they were in would appear to most mortals, as being made entirely of solidified light, light energy compressed and condensed into matter, made to be solid, and used to build the place they were in. This of course was considered impossible by most of mortal kind in nearly every place they existed with all of their knowledge, which simply made the place all the more special. This of course was not the truth, but the truth is not worth recording, for those that already understand it, do not need it recorded.

It appeared that golden white fire had consumed the place, and yet, it only enhanced the building's strength, and empowered those that worked in it.
"So, this is why he elects not to live on our world." The leader of the group commented,
"If I had a palace of such fine splendor, I wouldn't want to leave it either." a lady in the group remarked.

Monks in clean white robes walked the halls, deep in meditation, their steps were slow, measured, steady, each step a part of their meditation, each one a small part of the individual journey to higher understanding. As they walked they each chanted a meditation to themselves. Their voices intermingled with one another, bits and pieces of each chant mingling with the others, and the effect was that of creating a new chant, one that existed only when all parts were combined, and in harmony. It added the effect of a never ending chant echoing off the halls. Yet, not even the monks were mortal, but they weren't divine either. They were born of this place, beyond time and space, and they would eventually die, and become part of it once more.

The group reached a room with seven great thrones, each prepared with the splendor due to each member of the group.
"We shouldn't be here, we should be protecting our child, not sitting here letting The Outsider in!" A particularly strong member of the group said, slamming his fist down on his throne in anger.
"Patience brother, it is better to wait until we can strike true and banish The Outsider, than to remain and lose ourselves to his being. At least here with our longtime acquaintance, we are protected by his light from The Outsider's darkness." A woman of the group, known for her wisdom.

"Bah, it's too light here." remarked the one who seemed separated from the group.

They wanted to protect their child, but knew that any effort to avert The Ascension, would only be wasted. In grim silence they watched the inevitable, each through their own method.

_____________________________________________
Valanthe stood at the top of the tower, almost bowled over by the sheer sonic power of the combined chants of the entirety of The Brotherhood of Darkness reaching the top of the tower.

Om Di Vi Za

The words seem to react strangely with the world around Valanthe. The distortion in the sky compressed itself, yet continued to build into a deep impenetrable darkness. In the center of the tower, The Dark Man stood, arms spread out to his sides, head tilted back towards the distortion, levitating several feet off the floor. The tower was remarkably bare, save for a large ring of priests. With a start, Valanthe realized each one was a member of a different religion, one for each of The Thayne, one for each of the star gods, one for the gods of the draconian and fay, a member of the church of The Ethereal Sway, an Aibrone monk, one from N'jal, and still others from other religons she had not heard of. Each religion was there, without exception, each seemingly under the compulsion brought on by Jiralyn's beauty to mindlessly obey her will, and as Dark Man's priestess to the assembled group of religions, she had each join in with The ascension, in effect making it to where the assembled religions all agreed to the ascension, no matter how far that was from the actual truth.

Om Di Vi Za

Valanthe found herself joining in with the chanting. It was a remarkably easy chant to accomplish, and being easy, it was hard to resist mindlessly chanting it. Her eyes met Jiralyn, and the compulsion to not stop filled her, yet she sensed her role would be different.

She stepped forward, and took from Jiralyn, a ceremonial dagger made of an exotic black metal. Valanthe didn't know what the metal was, but it hurt to hold the dagger, an agonizing pain shooting up her arm.

The Dark Man lowered his Arms, and caused an alter to appear in the center of the tower. It was made of the same exotic black metal, and fire seemed to naturally emanate from within it. As it was, the alter only smoked. It was long and narrow, enough for one to lay upon, which was in fact, it's function.

Om Di Vi Za

The monk of Aibrone was the first to step forward. Still chanting with the rest of the monks, he lay upon the alter. Still under Jiralyn's compulsion, Valanthe took the dagger, and carved from his chest, his heart, causing the monk to die. The took out the heart, and the alter seemed to absorb the body and blood of the monk. The Heart, still beating, was brought to The Dark Man, who proceeded to eat it. A part of Valanthe screamed at her to run away, this place was not for her, but Valanthe was unable to hear that part of her.

As the heart was finished, the compressing distortion in the sky flickered slightly.
Another priest, this one from a small unknown religon, stepped up to the alter and lay upon it. Once again, he was sacrificed, his body consumed, his heart eaten. Valanthe noticed the alter was changing slightly. It seemed taller, no, maybe it was just her.

Still, the chanting continued, and still, the sacrifices went on.

Om Di Vi Za,
Om Di Vi Za...

[Valanthe]

Om Di Vi Za

All the priests had been sacrificed, and finally, Valanthe lay upon the alter, and sacrificed herself. As her eyes closed in Death, she saw Dark Man's body flash white.

---------

Beyond the farthest of stars, the most infinite of planes, and the largest of universes and realities lay Nothing. Nothing was truly Infinite, for Nothing did not exist, and thus could have no definition beyond that it was something that did not exist. After all, how can one fully define a non existent object? It is just as easy to to say a non-existent apple in hand is blue instead of red, yellow, or green. Who can contradict you? Who is right? Thus the danger of Nothing.

As Dark Man flashed white, Nothing began to boil, as though it were a vast pot of water on a great fire. it's bubbles were white, little bits of existence that hadn't quite ceased to be yet, yet lost most, if not all of it's definition beyond that it simply was.

----------
Om Di Vi Za

Everything seemed wrong, she was alive, she opened her eyes, to find herself standing at the top of tower, one priest among many. She was still herself, still Omni's follower, and his priest. Why was Omni allowing this to happen? Wasn't he all-powerful? Wasn't he all-knowing?

Once again, she stepped forward and sacrificed the priesthood, only this time, she gave the hearts to Jiralyn, and she ate them. Once again, as Valanthe closed her eyes, Dark Man flashed white.

---

Nothing began to move inward, through the universes and realities, across the planes and around the stars. As it moved it took on the form of a deep inky blackness, and became known as "The Void", or "The place which is no place", and in other places as "The Place which is not"

---
Om Di Vi Za

Valanthe sighed as she opened her eyes again, helpless to resist, helpless to struggle, capable only of cooperation.

She gasped, as did many people, for Dark Man's eyes could clearly be seen now. It was in truth, a little bit frightening. His eyes were colored black, but aside from that, they seemed to be ordinary eyes. It felt like with those eyes he could see through anything.

Lines of white crackled about his body randomly. He seemed like a bad illusion, as though a beginner had tried to cast an overly impressive spell, and failed, but only partly, causing his spell to be filled with what was known as static, when the image didn't form properly.

So why didn't other gods interfere? Surely the masters of this world didn't want it destroyed! What of the Dark Gods, who desired it for themselves, or themselves desired it destroyed? Couldn't someone, anyone stop this?

She didn't know, she didn't know that the majority of the gods of Althanas had already been brought in on the plan to defeat Dark Man. Part of that plan involved letting Dark Man succeed, and get The Void, for he could not be defeated without it.

She walked over to the alter, and this time strapped herself down on it, removing all her clothing.

A large Draconian priest came over, his scales were blacker than midnight. He welded a red hot brand, heated with his own fire breath. He wore no clothes, and smiled, but his eyes told a different story. Like Valanthe, he was under a compulsion he could not fight, and really, he just wanted to be gone from this place. He made sure all the chains were tightened, to the point that Valanthe's arms were yanked out of their sockets.

"For the glory of Dark Man, let this servant of Light be punished, as the final step in the ritual of summoning!" Jiralyn shouted across the rooftop.

The Draconian climbed on Valanthe and forced himself upon her, pausing every now and then to drive his brand into her body at different points. Valanthe's screams of pain rose over the drone of the chanting brotherhood. each time she screamed, Dark Man flashed white, seemingly growing stronger.

The Draconian dismounted, and a fae fluttered over with a knife, and promptly began stripping Valanthe's flesh off her body. Still Valanthe's scream's pierced the air, until at last her tongue was cut off and her lips sown shut. Finally, almost as a tender mercy, Jiralyn came over and killed Valanthe herself.

[Valanthe]

Valanthe opened her eyes, she was supposed to be dead, yet here she was, in full health!

Her clothes were where she left them. The priests all stood there looking at her. They seemed to be enjoying themselves, yet their eyes pitied her. Dark Man's face now shown as white. Valanthe understood the term "Arcane Static" better now. It was a problem for beginning illusionists, or for anyone trying a new illusion for the first time. She already thought he looked like a bad illusion, but now, even more so, for little flecks of black and white continually moved across his form, in illusions, it's just flecks of color that mar the illusion and degrade it's quality, thus the term, Arcane Static. Yet, on Dark Man's form, the flecks seemed partially frozen, that is, mostly white flecks made his skin, while black made his lips, his eyes and pupils, and marked his nostrals. Even still though, the freeze wasn't perfect, for flecks of the opposing color could be seen occasionally going across his face. A bad illusion indeed!

---
The Void began to arrive at the world of Althanas, needing just one little push to be completed. The Ascension was almost complete, almost over.
---

Dark Man lowered his arms, touched down, and walked to Valanthe. With a snap of his fingers, he freed her from Jiralyn's compulsion.
Immediately, she darted for the side, intending to throw herself over it, but was thrown against the dark alter instead. No, it wasn't the dark alter anymore, it had been transformed by the power of the sacrifices, the same sacrifices that changed Dark Man's appearance, into a plain silver door, a silver far stronger than the normal silver of althanas. It was floating an inch off the ground, was as tall and as wide as a normal human man, and an inch thick. As Valanthe touched it, bands of the same material sprang forth from it and trapped Valanthe in a cage they formed.

"Why Dark Man, Why are you doing this?" Valanthe asked, struggling to get up.

"Dark Man? The Dark Man is a powerful demon in another universe whose name I simply borrowed in this one to mask my identity. No, call me as I really am, The Spirit of Nothingness, known by the name, Kajeenith. As for why, it is justice." the entity Valanthe thought of as a poor illusion replied.

"How can there be justice in acts so terrible as sacrifice, and torture?" Valanthe asked.
"Ask your own gods, for they themselves have called for sacrifice and torture on many occasions. Remember, it is just when a god calls for it, but not when a mortal calls for it. We can get away with double standards like that. I suppose I shall answer your next question, it's inevitable, and I always get asked. I'm on the verge of creating fliers and just handing them out every time I come around. Why. From me, it's not a question, it's just a summary of your questions to come." Kajeenith said. He moved to sit, and three priests threw themselves under him to make a sort of chair for him.A fourth kneeled before him and he propped his feet up on him.

Valanthe wasn't really shocked, she new Gods could read minds, and his statement was right, the average point of all her questions was why.

"I guess I'll start at the beginning, until I come to the end, and then stop. A king gave out that advice once, he was a real card that king. I enjoyed devouring his reality. Yet, there is no end, because I am the end, of everything. I am what comes after the last star dies, after the last breath of life fades away, after death loses meaning, after all forms of existence, simply perish. Another God stated that he was the beginning, and the end, yet he was wrong, but only a little, for while it is entirely possible that he might be one of the last entities I take, being a particularly difficult entity to conquer, he still exists, I don't. I don't exist, not in any fashion or sense of the word. I am not a real entity, I am not a real person or deity, I did not spring from anyone's mind, or body, or soul. I am not a character in any game, neither in what is known in another place as the internet, nor in what is also known there as offline. I am not a character in a book, published or not, I simply do not exist. I am the spirit of Nothingness, I can't exist, for nothing to exist is for a paradoxical impossibility to exist, and has been clearly theorized by at least one theoretical physicist, if a paradox were to actually exist, everything would end. So me existing is impossible, and since I don't exist, I'm not here. Yet here I am, so clearly everything is going to end, and it is just, for I came before everything, and everyone, without exception. Think back to the beginning of all things, what was before that? Some say it was a sort of egg, others say it was a deity, the concepts are many, and varied. Yet they are all wrong, I existed, for I was Nothing. Think I'm wrong? Prove it. I told you, I don't exist, so how can you prove me wrong, say I was there? That would be agreeing with me. Say I wasn't? That would also be agreeing with me, for if I don't exist, how could I be there? Then, there was something. The Omnisource claims to be the first thing ever to exist, being before the concept of universes, and the source of all creator deities, myths, theories, legends, and rumors. That's what he claims, at least. He's wrong, I was first. But that's unimportant, what matters, is that his very being, your very being, the very being of everyone, and everything, causes me to suffer. Every single second of eternity, I suffer, I suffer pain, I suffer despair, humiliation, agony, torture, hatred, I suffer things which have no names or descriptions, I suffer, and I suffer greatly, because I don't exist, and you do. I tried being everyone's friend, tried getting everyone to lessen my pain, or end it entirely, just let a small part of me into yourselves, it was a simple request, I didn't want anything, or demand anything, just worship and believe in me, it would lessen my suffering, and if all of everything did that, I wouldn't suffer. But oh no, none of you could have that, what sort of an image would it present to one's followers, worshiping another god? Yet they all worship Omni, go figure. Even those whose powers fall under my own, do not worship me, each claiming superiority over me with my own powers. Even you turned to the omni to hurt me, to make me suffer. This Valanthe, is why I made Omni send you here, for I myself made you wander into Fallien, I distracted more powerful Omnites elsewhere, I am the one who caused one of Omni's more beloved followers to be kidnapped and gave out the false impression she might be saved. Your the first person in all of Althanas to actually cause me suffering and pain directly, willfully, so now you must suffer in return. Thus your presence here, at The Ascension. Althanas has been a cute little world to relax in, but now it must be destroyed, be ended. Thus I summon The Void. I shall swallow Althanas whole into The Void, taking all things related to her with me into The Void. There shall I do unto her many horrible and cruel things, all in the name of justice, that she might repay me for my suffering. I have already destroyed your husband, and his universe. Even as we speak, yet that isn't quite correct, for his world has it's own time, and the times of two universes do not often match exactly. I suppose if I had to hazard a guess, he'd have several years in fact to travel back and forth between here, and the last day of his world. But I tire from going the classic villain route, and making a monologue of my entire being. Instead, I think I'll take an edgy new approach, and defile you personally, to finish calling forth the Void. Your the only qualified person here, your the only follower of Omni. Don't be afraid, I'm not actually going to touch your person in a the same manner the draconian did, why would I touch a harlot like you?" Kajeenith asked, standing up and stretching after talking.

"LIAR!" Valanthe cried, upset after that remark about destroying Xos and his home.

The priests stood up. Kajeenith summoned black crosses.
"I almost forgot, they need to be punished, for they willingly assisted with me ascension. You saw them. You yourself assisted me. I shall crucify them, then beat you and whip you until it stops being funny, after which, I shall resurrect you and crucify you, before letting you go. You'll be burdened with the knowledge of what happened, of what you saw, yet who would ever believe you? Your husband? One person? No one else in althanas will. For I shall distort time and space, and make this even never occur, yet it will have all the same. No one will know me, or of me, or the void, or of the void, and certainly no one will have ever heard of The Nameless City. You will go mad with knowledge, and be locked away forever. It's inevitable." Kajeenith laughed.

"But we didn't help you willingly, we were under a mind compulsion!" Valanthe cried.
"Mind compulsion, do you really think that would be admissable in a court of law, especially with evidence to the contrary?" Kajeenith asked laughing.

As Valanthe trembled with fear and uncertainty, Kajeenith casually crucified the priests, hanging them upside down over the tower with rope he summoned solely for the occasion. As their blood ran down the tower, Valanthe suddenly noticed the chanting had stopped, probably because she began to ignore it as background noise.

Then, she was released, she tried to run, but Kajeenith grabbed her, and began to beat her with his fists, slapping her about the tower. He was much quicker than her, and every time she tried to stop something in defence she was slapped so hard she was forced to quit. Jiralyn eventually grabbed Valanthe and used a method of torture known as strappado on her. Strappado of course, is where the victim has her hands tied behind her back via a rope attached to a large pulley and suspended off the floor, with a large weight attached by rope to their ankles, tied together. It normally causes serious injury to the arms and legs. In this instance, Kajeenith summoned a hangman's post.

As Valanthe hung there, he whipped her with a Cat 'o nine tails, that is, a whip with nine ends, this one had sharp jagged pieces of metal embedded in it, so it also ripped the flesh.
She was beaten mercilessly, ceaselessly, until at last she passed out, and died, again. Her last thought was that surely she must actually be in the abyss, or somewhere equally unpleasant where evil people are sent to be punished in the afterlife.

True to his word, he resurrected her, and she lived, again. Unlike the previous two times, in which she was restored via a distortion of the timeline making it to where none of the participants had been injured despite their actions, she was simply put in a new body, and redressed. She could see her old body, an unrecognizable lump of flesh and blood beneath a skeleton. Barely managing to keep herself from being sick, she searched her old flesh for her ring, and slipped it on, then ran to the side of the tower, where she got sick.

Kajeenith's form had completed, his hair was like his face, white, and possibly shoulder length. Maybe if he tried, he would actually possess color, but as it seemed now, he was just a flawed illusion by all appearances, a distortion of realty, and then she realized that's why he appeared that way, because he was a distortion of reality.

The silver door was now a complete door with a handle, yet still as it was before. Kajeenith opened the door, and to Valanthe's utter amazement, there was Nothing behind it. She supposed she should have been able to see the other side of the tower, as the door was suspended in the middle. Yet within that door frame was a deep impenetrable inky blackness she knew not even the light of day could conquer. The door and the blackness faded away.

"It is over, I have won." Kajeenith said simply. Valanthe felt disappointed, all that torture, chanting, and ceremony for that, it felt, anti-climactic.
"Now behold The Void." Kajeenith said, in an entirely new voice that shook her to her roots. Kajeenith spread his hands wide, and levitated off the floor once more. A great sphere of Darkness spread forth from Kajeenith, and enveloped most of the tower, and suddenly Valanthe understood why his symbol was that of a Vortex, for as the sphere of Darkness stood there, it began to absorb all things around it into itself, all matter, all energy, all light, space, time, life, death, it didn't matter, if it existed, it was drawn into The Void swirling into it like a vortex. As it was there, a great droning buzz, as a massive swarm of flies filled the air. Reality outside the sphere began to blink, as though it itself were becoming a part of the bad illusion.

The Sphere closed, seconds before taking Valanthe. Jiralyn was not so lucky, she was absorbed into The Void immediately, yet Valanthe felt that Jiralyn didn't mind somehow. The top of the tower was destroyed, Valanthe standing on the fragile last part of it. Kajeenith stood on the air itself, as though it were solid.
"What was that?" Valanthe asked in amazement that something like that could exist.
"It's called a Void Nexus, it is the gateway to The Void, neither existing, nor not existing, serving as the gateway between the two. Now behold it's full power." Kajeenith said.

He pointed, straight ahead. Valanthe marveled for her own vision was telescoping to where Kajeenith pointed. A small island nation far away, no one had ever heard of before, being quite out of the way of normal oceanic sailing routes. The people of the small island nation themselves never dared to venture into the deep sea, having nothing more than simple canoes for fishing. Valanthe felt a sense of dread. Suddenly, a massive Void Nexus came into being, it's great droning buzz filling Valanthe's ears. It filled the whole of the island nation, about half the size of Corone, and then disappeared. There was no island, nation, or people there anymore, only a hole in the ocean where one could see what lay deep beneath the ground. Suddenly the walls of the ocean caved in, covering the great pool of magma. Torrents arose and waves clashed with one another, as the ocean flash boiled in an instant, sending great clouds of water vapor into the air. This would later cause a hurricane in a few weeks time, but it would affect no one.

It wasn't the only place swallowed into The Void, a small town in southren Corone fell into The Void, leaving a valley in it's place. Several ruins in Fallien were sucked in, towns in Raiaera and Alerar were sucked in, until finally, Kajeenith just stopped.

He seemed to be listening to something.

Suddenly, Valanthe could hear it too, a chorus of powerful voices that spoke in agreement.

"Enough of this." they said.

---

In the great temple, the robed figures on their thrones each pointed at the image of Kajeenith, sending a rainbow of energy down upon him.
---

Valanthe felt the attack coming before she even saw it, and survival instincts taking over, turned into a falcon and flew away, barely escaping the blast that destroyed Kajeenith.

She saw a familiar face, lost on the sands below, and circled down and landed near him. As she reverted to normal, everything went black momentarily, and then came back to light. Valanthe remembered Kajeenith's words, he would distort time, and make it as though nothing had ever happened, and yet it did.

She turned to face the man, and gasped, it was Xos!

[Valanthe]

(OOC: Though it was entirely unplanned, Xos's solo: "Secrets of The Dark Man" has merged with this solo. To that end, Xos appears as an NPC for this thread, just as Valanthe appears as an NPC for that thread, and the last post then will be almost identical for both threads, merely changing the POV as appropriate.)
"Xos! I thought you were dead!" Valanthe cried, relieved to see a familiar face.

She rushed over and embraced him, covering with kisses. True, their marraige had been arranged without their consent and it wasn't the best in the world, but that wasn't on Valanthe's mind right now. A very startled Xos slowly and almost reluctantly put his arms around Valanthe, even as the force of the sudden tackle drove them to the sand.

She was away from that city, what a horrifying experience! Free of the compulsion, she was horrified at her own actions, even going to bed with another woman. How could Xos ever forgive her? It seemed all her fault that Kajeenith was empowered.

"Xos?" Valanthe asked, when she finally managed to contain her entusiasim. She had not released her grip around him, and so was on top of him.

"Valanthe, it's you, I'm back, I made it, finally. I would've spoken sooner, but really didn't have a chance." Xos said, finally managing to work a word in edge-wise around her unrelenting assault of affection.

"Xos, it's been so horrible this last day, if it even was a day. I don't understand what's happened, but it's happened all the same, I just have to tell you, even if you don't believe me." Valanthe said.

"I have reason to believe that I might find just about anything you say more believable than what I have to tell you. So, speak." Xos said, looking a trifle guilty about something.

So, wondering what Xos had to tell her, she began to speak, and told him of her adventure in the nameless city, and of Jiralyn, and what she did with her. She told him at length of being under a compulsion to do horrible things to other people, and other people doing horrible things to her, and how it all happened, but didn't really happen, because of Kajeenith's summoning of The Void. Then she started to cry because she realized she sounded insane, for there was utterly no proof of what she said as being true, and Xos wouldn't likely believe her and grow cold and distant and abandon her to the mad house.

To her surprise, Xos simply pulled her in close, and kissed her soundly on the lips.

"I think I love you so very much right now, for I too had such an adventure. I went home, to Kessingale, in the universe from which I originally came. I wanted to graduate, and Omni let me do that. In return, I had to research The Dark Man. He's right, he did Destroy my Universe, for I came from it's last day. I find it interesting scientifically, about Kajeenith's guess of the differences in the two Time/Space Continuums, and in this instant at least, I hope he's right, for I made a promise to save the people of Kessingale, but I don't know how I'm going to do it just yet. But onto the research. As it turns out, a mighty wizard from my universe, one named Merlin, he did a great deal of research, both from an Arcane, and Scientific perspective on Kajeenith." Xos said, as he stopped for a breath, Valanthe interrupted him.

"Merlin? The father of Modern Magic? The greatest magi ever to live? He was in your universe?" Valanthe asked, puzzled.

"Maybe. It could be that each universe has it's own copy of certain people, and places, and that seems very likely, though one might suspect the man would be known under different names. Or it's also likely that there's only one, and he's a multi-dimensional super entity, but not a multi-dimensional super deity. That is, it's possible there's only one immortal super-wizard named Merlin, traveling from world to world, from universe to universe, and from dimension to dimension or otherwise spreading the knowledge of magic. I find it more likely however that there are several Merlins, and each universe has at least one. But that's beside the point, the point is, he figured out Kajeenith's greatest secrets. Let's start with The Nameless City you described to me. Even with magic, such a city would be difficult to maintain, even for a deity, who would have more important concerns to waste power on, than an unfathomable nightmare city. It's more likely that the entire place was an illusion, a massive glamour covering the tower. Infact, I think if you had been able to investigate closely, you would've found this was so. Second, there's Jiralyn. I think she's the one who made the illusion. It's more likely you were in a jail-cell, and she used the power of her mind to give you false memories. She must be a powerful Psion indeed, especially to convince you that you were attracted to other women in a sexual fashion. With the ease with which she succeeded, there had to already have been a pre-existing sliver of possibility, some part of you that real is attracted to other women, but has never been given ground to take root and grow into your normal desires. Sure, her great beauty helped, but beauty isn't everything. There are some really attractive men in the world, but I don't find them attractive, which is all the proof necessary to show that you were predisposed towards such an attraction on your own.

Now, as for the ritual of summoning, that's the meat of the issue. I'm sorry to say, it all happened like you remembered it. But don't try finding some of the priests to apologize. The darker priests probably took little persuasion to convince to help. But it's the symbolism that matters. That a priest of each religion of this world participated signifies that Kajeenith had their blessing to summon the void and become an integral part of this universe's natural function. It doesn't matter if it's true or not, or if they were compelled to participate against their will or not. It's the symbolism of the act itself that mattered. As for you, Omni is the one thing that can stop Kajeenith dead in his tracks every time. You were the key to the ritual, for like the others, your participation showed that Omni gave his blessing too. You remember that each priest including yourself took part in each act. There's was the act of opening the door, yours was the act of pulling Kajeenith in. That is, it symbolized that the deities opened the way for Kajeenith, and Omni lit the path for him, showing him the way to his room. It's a very dirty cheating ploy, but that's what it all meant. The resurrections were all just a simple matter of distortion. It's like changing a thread or two in a great tapestry, doing so changes the picture represented, sometimes slightly, sometimes drastically, and the more threads are changed, the more the picture changes.

Now that Kajeenith is in, it's going to be doggedly hard to get rid of him, and Omni is the only way, for Kajeenith and Omni are one in the same entity. That is, think of Omni as a person. Kajeenith is an infection inside the Omni, like you or I being possessed of a disease. It's a very powerful disease, one no medicene can cure. The only way, is to let it run it's course, as the body fights it off itself, it all has to do with the way Omni created everything, drawing in the nothingness to himself, instead of expelling it outward. That's why Omni and Kajeenith will always be in the same universe, you will never find a place one is in, the other isn't, and since Omni exists everywhere at once, so too does Kajeenith.

Finally, I'll forgive you for cheating, if you forgive me. I wasn't faithful back home, and ended up sleeping with my former best friend on graduation night. She is a beauty, and for years we planned to marry, but then I came to Althanas." Xos said, explaining the whole sordid affair of what just happened to Valanthe.

Valanthe pursed her lips, and looked at Xos, exasperated.
"You take all the fun out of things. I'm not sure I understood half of what you said, but I'll accept it all the same. I guess since we both cheated, we don't have the right to be angry. Some married couple we are." Valanthe said.

"Yeah, sleep together, and being forced to marry as a result, then run off and sleep with other people instead of working on our marriage like we should have. Shall we try again, but for real this time?" Xos asked.

"I guess we better." Valanthe said, kissing Xos on the lips one last time before standing up.
"You know I'm glad I found you, I don't know the way out of this sandblasted country." Xos said.
"Don't feel pregnant dear neither do I. At least we won't go thirsty or hungry, I can always magically draw some water out of the ground, or turn into a chicken and lay an egg or two. I think the port's this way though." Valanthe said, pointing at the horizon.

So it ended, the pair left, headed at last in the right direction. A dire threat had been found, and averted, or had it, after all, Kajeenith and Omni were two parts of the same being, and Omni still lived.

Long after the two left, when there was nothing but empty scorched desert where once had stood a terrifying and strange city, a dark haunting laugh echoed across the sands, a promise that all was not yet over.

[Taskmienster]

The Nameless City


STORY (10/30)

~ Continuity ~ 3

~At the very end of the first post you started to clarify why you were there, and what was going on, but not really WHO Valanthe is. This could have been elaborated in many different ways, either through a flash back of her entering the Outlanders Quarters, and getting the message and whatnot. This would have allowed you to explain why you were in Fallien, give more background, and push the continuity a lot further.

~ Setting ~ 3

~” She knew she had been spotted, and looked about, but everyone seemed to be ignoring her,” [post 2]. Who is ‘everyone’ and if they are the monks, why aren’t they stopping her? You need to explain things like this so that it’s clear, which goes against clarity, but it also helps explain where she is and the entire setting around her.

~The beginning of the 3rd post could have been written with a lot more setting, you need to show it, not just tell it. It was the major thing I saw with the other thread that I judged of yours. Just concentrate on WHAT you see, and then tell the reader through how it felt to see it… this is a very good opportunity to throw in all types of metaphors and similes as well which helps the technique in the end as well.

~ Pacing ~ 4

~ “One might think they would cluster around the results of their work eagerly, but then one had to understand, The Brotherhood had no free will, for they gave it up willingly to The Dark Man, which was who they had called to The Nameless City and who had willed them all to just go away. The Dark Man circled the alter, smiling at the body with a menacing, yet somehow benevolent grin.” [post 2] In this post you have another run-on sentence, and it detracts from the pacing a lot by not building any sense of intensity through the misuse of punctuation.

~The way you finished everything in the 9th post seemed very rushed. Slow down, develop each part of the plot as you go, and don’t be afraid to separate it into more posts if you have to.



CHARACTER (14/30)

~ Dialogue ~ 5

~The dialogue didn’t fit the characters at times, contradicting what you were setting up by their actions. On top of it being extremely difficult to read, it was nothing spectacular. This is an area you can work on in order to actually express the persona of the main character as well as the NPC’s.

~ Action~ 4

~The entire thing about two women sleeping together is… alright I guess… but doesn’t make any sense in the context you use it. I just read it and was confused. Why would Val not struggle more than she did? It just seemed out of place more than anything, and rather unnecessary. [post3]

~ Persona ~ 4

~” One pair of people were engaged in a lively debate over the purpose and function of nature, and she wanted to join in on it so badly, but she had other reasons for being here.” [post 3] This is a PRIME time to go into WHY she wanted to join, what interest she has in nature, and the like. It shows character, as well as giving more back story to help with the continuity section.



WRITING STYLE (11/30)

~ Technique ~ 3

~ Using the word ‘sure’ takes the higher diction and lowers it, you don’t need it. For example “Sure their eyes glowed, but it was as staring into a great gaping void.” You can remove ‘sure’ and start it with Their and the sentence continues to be completely clear, while avoiding slipping into the lower diction realm. [post 1]

~” The woman on the throne had shiny wavy black hair, and blacker eyes.” [post 3] instead of ‘blacker eyes’ you could have said, “eyes as black as night.” Even the smallest things such as that type of simile are easy ways to help with the technique.

~ Mechanics ~ 3

~The first sentence isn’t a correct sentence, it is missing a verb and is in fact a long dependent clause.

~”Instead half way there, she was lost in a freak fog, and when it lifted, she was in a cage, being taken somewhere, accross the seas, and over the sands of Fallien, to a city whose very design she could not fathom.” This is a very long run-on sentence that could be avoided. As well as contains elements of technique that could be changed too. Your diction is higher until you use the word freak; strange, mysterious, devious, these work better. However, the sentence itself is what I want to put more interest on. “Instead, halfway there, she was lost in a freak fog. When it lifted she was in a cage, being taken somewhere [across] the seas. Over the sands of Fallien [she was taken] to a city whose very design she could not fathom.” This passage also had potential for using setting, even just an adjective to describe the way the sea felt, or smelt, or anything…

~Be careful when using its and it’s, I have the same issue as do a lot of writers, with confusing the use of it’s. It often stands for it is… or possession sometimes as well. You also have the habit of not capitalizing names, which is a no no on the most base of levels. Just watch for those, they’re easy to fix while writing.

~” Valanthe felt as though she should resist, free herself and flee from this woman, but she didn't want to, she was too weak of spirit to resist Jirayn's Deadly Allure, to resist her controlling domineering presence.” [post3] This is another run-on sentence that detracts from clarity more than anything.

~ Clarity ~ 5

~Nothing, at all, bothers me more about dialogue than the fact that you don’t separate it. It kills me… lol. PLEASE put a space between the end of one part and the beginning of another.

~The massive paragraph in the 9th post was… massive and confusing. It was riddled with the mistakes that you had made earlier, making it even more difficult to follow properly. Try and cut those down a lot…


WILD CARD!!! 5

~All in all, it was a better effort than the solo that you wrote with Xos.




TOTAL

(40/100)


GAINS/REWARDS!

Valanthe gains 365 exp and 100 gold

[Witchblade]

EXP and GP added!