Who Would Win In A Brawl?

[Saxon]

Alright, this is the non-althanas version of 'who would win in a fight' and if you don't understand the rules, watch Fight Club. The rules are simple. Pick two people to fight. It can be any where in history, fiction, or even you versus them. The person right after you will state who they would think would win, how they would win, and then repeat the process. The only stipulation I ask is that nothing from IC Althanas can be used. No character, none of your own creations, etc. This is supposed to be amusing, not to boost your own personal ego for this site.

Oh, and hitting below the belt, fighting dirty, and stabbing people in the back are completely encouraged. Have fun with it.

I'll get the ball rolling;

George W. Bush with a jammed Beretta v. The Joker with a Potato Peeler in a dark alley.

[I Am Zee]

The Joker, ofcourse. George would get scared too easily.





I have the ultimate. The Hulk vs. Juggernaut.

[Terminus Mortis]

The Hulk, he's much bigger than Juggernaut and neither of them are very bright.



Barak Obama in the jungle with an AK-74 v. John McCain with a combat knife.

I'm pretty sure McCain's survival instincts would kick in from that time in 'Nam. He'd go Rambo.

[Valanthe]

Mcain all the way. Some things stick with you.

The entirty of the Marvel Universe versus the entirety of the DC universe.

[Koran]

DC, cause they had Superman. =)

The Rolling Stones with a pair of drumsticks and two guitars, or the Beatles with the same weapons?

[Ma Navu]

A tie occurs. After playing their most epic of songs, they'd both end up having a massive rock-out.

Unstoppable force versus immovable object. Who will win?

[Sorahn]

The universe implodes.

That or the definition of either must be rewritten.

The great battle of youtube: Lasse Gjertsen (http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=o9698TqtY4A) versus Tay Zonday (http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=EwTZ2xpQwpA)

[Destrudo]

As has already been proven by non-existent evidence I can't be arsed with producing, The Universe itself will lose. After an indeterminate period of non-existence, Everything restarts from the beginning. The evidence for this was lost the first time this happened, and alas, only memories remain.

Science Versus Magic.

[Arsène]

Science exists. Therefore magic wins, because it's non-existenceness makes it a hard target to hit.

David Bowie's Major Tom v. Elton John's Rocket Man

[Empyrean]

Major Tom. Since, you know, Rocket Man burns out his fuse out here alone.


James Bond versus Michael Corleone.

[Valanthe]

James bond.

Jesus of Nazareth and the son of God versus Cthulhu.

[Mage Hunter]

Jesus, because while Cthulu can pull himself back together, Jesus also keeps coming back, and lets face it, you can't exactly drive the son of God Insane, he's gonna beat you.

Here's a Goldie but Oldie...

Ninja vs. Pirate

[Karuka]

Come on, there's a law about this. It basically says that the fewer ninjas there are, the more powerful they become. And the fewer pirates there are, the weaker they become. Thus, a single pirate can wipe out a horde of ninjas, and a single ninja can wipe out a horde of pirates, but if you put two hordes at each other, the pirates will win.

In singles, it's the ninja, every time.

Pillsbury doughboy v. Energizer bunny.

[I Am Zee]

The Doughboy. He's too maleable to be damaged.

Abe Lincoln vs. Robert E. Lee in a bare knuckles boxing match.

[Bevel]

Abe's just too darn nice. I'm giving it to Robert E. Lee. Abe's got reach but Lee seems scrappier.

Right, how about:

Atreyu vs. Hobbes. Battle of the imaginaries - hunter vs. beast.

[Saxon]

Hobbes. Except Calvin will hop in at some point and murder everybody with an axe.

We've all seen the Robot Chicken episode. We know the lies.

Bruce Campbell with a chainsaw versus Tommy Lee Jones with a colt revolver in the middle of Texas.

[I Am Zee]

Wow that's just all advantage Tommy Lee. No contest.




Peter Griffin from Family Guy vs Stan from American Dad

[Caden Law]

Peter. See his fights with the chicken. A mere gunshot to the face will not stop this man.

Though Homer's gonna kill both of them.

Harry Dresden vs. Batman. Preptime assumed for both.

[Nightstalker]

Batman, because batman is a ninja, and ninja's rule.

Assuming all parties have equal strength, and the arena has been adequately reinforced

Godhand Tag teaming with Dan, versus The Brothers of Destruction: Kain, and The Undertaker.

[Breaker]

Epic fail. None of them actually know how to fight.

[Christoph]

Depends. In a real fight, Godhand and Dan would win by spamming superpowers; in a fake fight, Kain and the Undertaker.

Captain Crunch vs. Count Chocula.

[I Am Zee]

Though the Captain is a master at sea, the Count has the whole supernatural strength and agility thing going on. Victory to the Count.



Zoidberg vs Sebastian the crab.

[Elijah_Morendale]

^^Count Chocula. The Count would destroy even if Cap'n Crunch had Sonny, Lucky, Snap, Crackle, Pop, and the Twix rabbit on his side.

^(Damn you!) Zoidberg. It was because of Sebastian that Squeenix fans got that horrible "Under the Sea" minigame in KH2.

Little Mac vs. Rocky Balboa.

[Valanthe]

It would start off Little Mac, but then the champ would rally in the later rounds of the fight and finish in an epic and amazing fight worthy of yet another movie.


Hmm.... The Star Trek Continuum, versus The Star Wars Galaxies.
For purposes of balance, we'll assume The Force, and The Q are unavailable for this epic fight.

[Christoph]

I would say Star Wars, but Star Trek still has the Ultimate Weapon (TM) -- Tribbles.

The Warhammer 40k Universe vs. the Dune Universe.

[Godhand]

Epic fail. None of them actually know how to fight.

Oh Jesus dude, please don't roll up a magazine real tight and then hit me with it! I don't know if I can take it!

[Mage Hunter]

Epic fail. None of them actually know how to fight.

I seem to remember an old saying about people in glass houses...

Hmm, 40K vs. Dune? Now there's a tough one, however while the Space Marines are equivalent to the Imperial Sardukar, the problem is we've seen what Freman do to Sardukar, so Dune all the way.

[Jade Margery]

Chuck Norris Vs. A T-Rex?

[Aiko]

I pity the T-rex. On the plus side, Chuck's styling in his new rex skin clothes.

President George W. Bush, Versus Osama Bin Laden.

[Elijah_Morendale]

Nobody.

Let's get this thread back onto the level of awesome it deserves.

Alucard (Castlevania) vs. Alucard (Hellsing), with D as the special guest referee.

[Empyrean]

Alucard (Hellsing).


"Don't Stop Believin'" versus "You Give Love A Bad Name".

[Christoph]

^
^ The universe would implode, obviously.

Han Solo vs. Samus

[I Am Zee]

^
^ The universe would implode, obviously.

Han Solo vs. Samus

In piloting or ground combat?

[Crystal Suncrest]

^
^ The universe would implode, obviously.

Han Solo vs. Samus

Samus would easily win in ground combat, and let's face it, Han's ship is too big of a target. Samus could likely destroy it with a few well placed Super Missles and maybe the Ice beam.

Satan versus The Grim Reaper

[Jade Margery]

The Grim Reaper wins since he can't die/feel pain, but it's a close one. Afterwards they go out for drinks and hit on succubi.


Jesus Vs. Superman?

[Aiko]

Jesus. I've never seen Superman quell a storm by telling it to stop like one admonishes a misbehaving puppy.

On the religous front, Zeus (the Olympic Pantheon), Versus Odin (The Norse Pantheon), Versus Ra (The egyptian Pantheon).
Which King of the gods wins?

[Godhand]

Jesus. I've never seen Superman quell a storm by telling it to stop like one admonishes a misbehaving puppy.

What the fuck does that have to do with anything?

And to answer your question, they're all beaten soundly and conclusively by the flying spaghetti monster. That includes your god, too.

[wizardmon599]

So, the flying spaghetti monster against Steven Tyler? lol

Steven could totally inhale it. X3

[Xos]

What the fuck does that have to do with anything?

And to answer your question, they're all beaten soundly and conclusively by the flying spaghetti monster. That includes your god, too.

That depends on which one your referring to.

[Valanthe]

Since no one's yet made another...

Full Grown Lion from the Serengeti, versus the toughest most vicious pet dog you can think of.

[Saxon]

Lion.

There's a reason why they're called Maneaters. Though, to give the Pit Bull credit, it does have the ability to unlatch it's jaw once it bites into something.

Now for me.

Werewolf v. Vampire.

Or in terms of philosophy;

Lack of Any Control v. Absolute Control.

[Letho]

If given time for the right preparations, to set traps and prepare some silver weapons, a vampire could defeat a werewolf. But one-on-one in some dark random alley on some dark random night, it's the werewolf every time. Vampire can dodge only so many times.

Leonidas from 300 wielding only his shield vs. Maximus from the Gladiator wielding an arrow head.

[Karuka]

I have no idea, but I'd watch. Rawr. But probably Leo. Arrowheads are pretty useless on their own.

H'mm...

Jackie Chan v. Red Skelton.

[Elijah_Morendale]

Jackie Chan, but not by much.


In a steel cage deathmatch:

Abbot, Costello, Laurel, and Hardy vs. Monty Python

[Christoph]

I've got to give it to Monty Python. Any group who has a knight who can keep fighting with no limbs is pretty hardcore.

V from V For Vendetta vs. the Shadow

[Caden Law]

The Shadow. He knows.

Aragorn vs. Eragon. Bareknuckle deathmatch. The only weapons allowed are hobbits on sticks.

[Jade Margery]

Aragorn. Because he is the KING!

The Numa Numa Guy Vs. the Star Wars Kid

[Saxon]

Draw. They're both forgettable. I mean really, if you weren't there for either of them while they were in their moment you probably haven't even heard of them and you aren't really missing out on much.

Atilla The Hun versus Les Stroud on the Mongolian steppes.

[Xos]

Atilla the Hun.


Mankind at our most destructive Versus Mother Nature, at her angriest and most destructive, in a no holds barred winner take all death match.

[Fotiadis110]

nature every time, I mean make every volcano explosively erupt and you'll make the world far less habitable than even a nuclear war can manage.

kitten with sniper rifle vrs dog with invisibility cloak (i am talking unreal tournament type weapons here.)

[shinigami_90]

i say the dog actually, invisibilty means cat no see dog while dog can sneak up on cat.


venom and carnage vs spiderman and spider girl

[wizardmon599]

Venom and Carnage.
No contest.

Okay...uh...
Holy Grail against Meaning of Life.

[Caden Law]

The meaning in life is a trillion things at once and then some.

The holy grail is either a fake chalice, an overhyped wooden bowl, or a 2000+ year old vagina.

Meaning of life wins.

Gordon Freeman vs. Althanas. Yes, he has his crowbar.

[Tenmatsu Tenimi]

althanas hands down, one man and a crowbar vs a whole island of creatures and inhabitants


ok i got one

zeus (greek god) vs odin (norse god)

[Karuka]

I'd say Zeus, because they don't say "body of a Greek god" for nothin', but Odin is a crafty one. What he can't gain by rock'em sock'em (and he IS a god of war, among other things), he can get by cunning.

As a cure for a headache...two motrin or some duct tape over the primary source of sonic offense?

[Tenmatsu Tenimi]

id have to say the motrin...


ok ok ok i got one lol

an arch angel or a pure demon straight from hell in a hand to hand fight nothing more

[Xos]

If I remember right, Michael won the last time it happened, and will do so again for the foreseeable future. So I'd have to say angel every time.

Hromagh, Althanian god of Strength, versus Hercules, Greek God of strength.

[Tenmatsu Tenimi]

hmm i know nothing of Hromagh so ill have t say hercules.


ok i kinda said this earlier but its a twist....

Venom vs Carnage?

[Saxon]

Hromagh, Althanian god of Strength, versus Hercules, Greek God of strength.



Gordon Freeman vs. Althanas. Yes, he has his crowbar.

I said absolutely nothing to do with Althanas. Keep it that way.

And it'd be Venom. Symbiotes always win over the parasite.

Heath Ledger era Joker versus Bane as The Man who Broke the Bat

[Valanthe]

Joker, Joker's the best villain around. That, and he has too many jokes up his sleeve to be taken by Bane on his best of days.

____

Gandalf The Grey, at his most powerful, versus Merlin, the most famous Magi in all history, fictional or not.

[Christoph]

Gandalf the Grey smacked down a demon by himself. Has Merlin ever done something even half as badass? I didn't think so. Gandalf, hands down.

Iron Man vs. Samus vs. Mega Man.

[Tenmatsu Tenimi]

id have to say mega-man, hell hes got all hella different armors and powers so yeah... ok ok ok


link vs marth (fire emblem)

[Sorahn]

Link is the MAN. His awesomeness knows no bounds.

Also, the Zelda series is probably the second most iconic Nintendo series ever next to Mario Bros. so that alone smacks down on Marth.

Now just to be annoying: nature vs. nurture

[Fotiadis110]

depends, Nurture will influence the characteristics given by nature...

But in an all out brawl over who leaves the most permanent effect on a individual, nature wins eg: born with 3 eyes, no amount of parenting can change that... same goes with birth dysfunctions, such as downs syndrome, autism and the like.

Battle of the cuteness
Fluffy ducklings vrs baby rabbits (oh yeah i went there ;p)

[Valanthe]

Fluffy ducklings, they can still peck.

The Irresistable Force, versus The Unmovable Object.

[Fotiadis110]

we've had that one.

And the correct answer is... the irresistible force. Why? because the Unmovable Object is stationary according to a certain frame of reference, the force will MOVE the frame of reference with relation to the greater universe :p so it seems a force is acting on everything BUT the Unmovable object.

all out food fight fest:
French Fries vrs Burger

[Sorahn]

Wow I never thought about that that way. Setting your coordinate system on the object thus makes it always stationary, but the force is moving the universe, satisfying all the laws of motion. Brilliant!

Sorry... ignore me... I'm an engineer. :P

As for the food: burgers every time. Burgers are the great American food, and there are soo many different varieties and flavors. They also include almost every major food group on one sandwich. French fries are french... and as much as I love them, they're greasy and provide no nutritional value. They're only a side dish to the burger. Burger without fries is fine, but fries without burger is weird.

Chevy vs. Ford... past and present.

[Fotiadis110]

guess what, i'm an engineering student (sp. BioChemical), and the frame of reference is a throwback that a mate in physics tested me against, technically the 'pesudoforce' that acts isn't the original force, because it acts in the equal and opposite direction... (look up centrifugal force, it's fake until you change your frame of reference.)

anyway the immovable object moves with reference to a separate reference point.

Chevy Vrs Ford?
The only clear winner is Toyota.

:P

although classically in the rankings of sheer straight line speed (which Americans seem to be fond of, and these are American companies) Ford normally goes fastest first, then Chevy has to play catch up and then gets ahead while ford makes their next model.

Accordingly they aren't really winners, they are both losers for not doing something their opponent can't match. :p. Besides the Ford V8 GT Supercar has no known Chevy comparison, meaning Ford wins, but I would never buy one.

On the topic of such cars:
You can own (and have to pay to run) one of these:
Lambo or Ariel Atom 2

[Sorahn]

Right. Exactly. What you'd have is a reaction force from your immovable object on... everything else. Whatever was pushing it.

I'm a third year Mechanical student, btw.

I'm gonna have to go with the Lambo. The atom is super lightweight and fast as crap, but Lambos can go just as fast and do it with much more style. I mean just take a look at the Gallardo or the newer Reventon (sp?). Those are some sexy beasts.

Also... all the chicks have heard of Lamborghini. They'll pick the dude with the Lambo over the dude with the Atom.

Continuing our stint into nerdery:

Intel vs. AMD

[Xos]

Intel runs slower, but cooler, and AMD runs faster, but hotter, at least on average. This then boils down essentially to personal decision, and while market trends have tended to favor Intel, AMD has managed to hang in there for this long, and I think it's grip on the consumer market might be growing, so I'm going to have to hand it to AMD.

Albert Einstein, Versus Steven Hawking.

[Tenmatsu Tenimi]

id say that one is a tie, shit thats too close

ok superman vs evil superman (aka goth superman)

[Fotiadis110]

The question of who will win raises 3 questions in my mind.

First: comic world or real world?
In comic world 'good' always wins, often with serious costs, but good wins.
Second:
Is Evil Superman without ANY restraint?
Third:
Where is Louis.

Given those questions are answered i can tell you who wins, but if 1 is RW, 2 is NO and 3 Is somewhere nearby. Evil superman wins by default.

Good guys can't beat those with no rules, simply because they will break the rules that limit the good guys, such as kill their loved one, or make it that it appears you plan on it before killing the good guy... after you can do as you please.
Basically Abuse the rules a true hero has to abide by, such as saving the innocent... use them as javelins to thrust them into 'goods' mouth! :p just don't get worked up in the cruelty, that is distracting and distraction = loss.

If any of the above 3 answers are different the outcome will be changed.

Question: Every model of Apple ever made turned into a single cyborg, vrs every IBM machine model made into a single cyborg... (size of company and sales is unimportant, their achievements are.)

[Saxon]

They both fall apart due to shortcuts and glitches overlooked by their makers.

FDR with his patented polio-friendly rolls royce versus Teddy Roosevelt with a big stick.

[Fotiadis110]

ooo.... teddy. SS would be involved :p

Kangaroo vrs Ostrich

[Kadian]

kangaroo easily.
the ostrich is alone and just waiting to get beat down, while the kangaroo carries two mean feet and is buddy in a pouch in which they would jump the helpless ostrich



ok, who would win?
chad johnson or michael bolton?

[Rebellion]

chad johnson or michael bolton?

In other words, Manly Black Guy versus Prissy White Guy.
White guy, duh. He's got majority on his side.

Hitler + Entire Army, armed with spears and shields, versus Leonidus and his 300, armed with AK-47's, RPG's, Desert Eagles and the ammo + knowledge to use all that crap.

[Fotiadis110]

300 easy, why? because they were more elite than any special forces that exist today, and even the SAS were AWSOME during the second world war...

Don't expect the the 300 to kill hitler or SURVIVE anyway, but they'd do SERIOUS damage and be nigh on impossible to eradicate.

(not exactly a brawl but...)
Yourself driving a Tractor (one of the BIG ones) with bulletproof glass and a pair of forks, vrs the local police (they don't have/aren't allowed to use guns)
Would you avoid that ticket?

[Aiko]

Oh yeah, I'd avoid that ticket. I have no qualms about using a fork to put a cop car in a tree.

The entire Mortal Kombat universe, versus the entire Street Fighter Universe, in a no holds barred fight to the death in the deepest darkest pit of Hell.

[Fotiadis110]

ultimately? probably mortal Kombat, several i think actually COME from hell, so it's home turf for the win.

Big Rock VRS Small Bacteria.

[The Cliffdweller]

I don't get what that means, so I'm going with Big Rock. The small bacteria can't harm it.

Has anyone done crunchy peanut butter v. creamy peanut butter?

[Destrudo]

Crunchy Peanut Butter, and anyone who dares disagree with me is a dirty liar.

G.W. Bush versus Saddam Hussein Versus Kim Jong Il in a multiplayer match using the latest version of Civilization IV. They play a realistic Earth map, and each controls their RL country, or the closest approximation thereof. Who has the best strategy?

[Fotiadis110]

Kim Jong, because he'd obtain the masonry army wonder, and that thing is INSANE :p meanwhile G.B would be running around wondering 'where are my allies' and not understanding the basics of resource gathering other than trade.

Saddam Vrs George Bush in a sealed cell....

[ninja_person]

Saddam. Bush is a pansy

Albert Einstein Vs. Ben Franklin

[Sighter Tnailog]

Ben Franklin would mop the floor with Albert Einstein.

Gonna have to disagree with the Kim Jong Il v. Saddam v. Bush battle, though. Given the realities of geopolitics, the immediate efforts of all these three nations would be to expand their global territory, which would eventually have Kim and Saddam butting heads faster than they would butt up against the U.S's own territorial ambitions. It would all depend on where the lines of development took place, but the realities of the international system would create security dilemmas between Saddam and Kim Jong a lot faster, and would probably cause them to weaken themselves with overt or covert war and leave the United States room to grow apace. Even Dubya couldn't flub something like that.

And the most ubiquitous question ever.

Chicken v. Egg?

[Fotiadis110]

What came first? proto-chicken. (or to be more exact, egg laid by it)

What would win in a brawl? chicken

Saddam was in a padded room...

Kim was playing computer games...

so Kim and Saddam weren't fighting EACH OTHER. so feel free to disagree, for your perspective was out of place :p

Who would win: Cyclist Vrs Runner.

[Lord Anglekos]

Runner by sheer determination.
Battle of the Bands: Haji's Kitchen versus HURT.

[Sighter Tnailog]

Haji's Kitchen.

And here's another one.

Fotiadis110 v. Sighter Tnailog.

Subject? Differing theoretical approaches in international relations, from Kenneth Waltz to Alexander Wendt, spanning the schools of realism, democratic peace theory, and constructivism.

[Taskmienster]

Sighter.

Your intelligence is intimidating, lol.

Rebellion vs. Destrudo

[Lord Anglekos]

Rebellion vs. Destrudo
What's the contest in? Just a straight out brawl or...?

[Saxon]

Fotiadis110 v. Sighter Tnailog.

Subject? Differing theoretical approaches in international relations, from Kenneth Waltz to Alexander Wendt, spanning the schools of realism, democratic peace theory, and constructivism.



Sighter.

Your intelligence is intimidating, lol.

Rebellion vs. Destrudo


The only stipulation I ask is that nothing from IC Althanas can be used. No character, none of your own creations, etc. This is supposed to be amusing, not to boost your own personal ego for this site.

This thread has been a barrel of laughs so far, don't spoil it by Althanasizing it. Please keep your characters out of it. Thanks.

[Lord Anglekos]

Then I'll kick start things off again.
Hmm...
Vikings versus Samurai.

[Alydia Ettermire]

Oh, man, that would be such a kickass battle. Evenly numbered, though, I'd say Samurai. Their lives were dedicated to training how to fight, and the Vikings were pretty much terrorists and plunderers.


Let's see... half blind dog v. three legged cat?

[Aiko]

Three legged cat. I've known both subjects at one point or another, and the three legged cat was rather intimidating.

(Disclaimer: I am not Taskmeinster, nor was it my idea to have him use one of my characters in a match-up.)

Sephiroth from FFVII Versus ID from Xenogears.

[Lord Anglekos]

Sephiroth, but only because ID never had as much impact on the videogaming and nerd industry as the villain of FF7 did. And could never.

Battle of Temptation: Lust from Fullmetal Alchemist versus Lasciel from the Dresden Files.

[Fotiadis110]

First: Fotiadis isn't a character, he's ME :p

there is no character named Fotiadis ;)
And the disagreement, was based on a misconception... given the fight option of the 2 players of the game in question i chose the most likely victor, and he disagreed because of a 'third party' that hadn't been a part of the question being asked -_-

Anyway enough trying to explain the fault in logical arguments based on incorrect information on with the thread!


... Lust

Just because :p

ok, all out brawl
2 sides:
One armed with Pizza's the other with chicken wings.

[Aiko]

Chicken Wings. They have bones. Bones can be sharpened into points.

Big John (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G9vuVl0ebpM&eurl=http://video.google.com/videosearch?q=Big+John&oe=UTF-8&rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official&client=firefox-aiurl=http://i4.ytimg.com/vi/G9vuVl0ebpM/hqdefault.jpg&feature=player_embedded) Versus Bad Bad Leroy Brown (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pqYkCJaBAyA&eurl=http://video.google.com/videosearch?q=bad+bad+leroy+brown&www_google_domain=www.google.com&emb=0&aq=2&&feature=player_embedded)

[new_guy]

Bad Boy Leroy Brown.

Mister Rogers Vs The Teletubbies

[BlackAndBlueEyes]

Mister Rogers, no contest.

Seriously.

The Vic Viper (the ship from the Gradius games) vs. an X-Wing

[new_guy]

An X-Wing. You can't beat a legend like George Lucas.

Ok, Time Vs Space?

[BlackAndBlueEyes]

You can't beat a legend like George Lucas.

Five bucks, a Jar Jar plushie, and a copy of Howard the Duck says otherwise. I'd also be willing to raise you a VHS tape containing the Ewoks made for t.v. movies if the need arises.

Space would win against time. Not by much; it'd have to give one hell of a cheap shot in the 18th Round.


Shigeru Miyamoto vs. Hironobu Sakaguchi.

[Rahegalhoff]

Miyamoto. I've been on many adventures though Hyrule and the mushroom kingdom, no others can compare.

Now, one group of raving fanatics versus another (not that EVERYONE in either group is a raving fanatic, but both tend to follow that generalization as a whole):
Christianity Versus Islam

[Lord Anglekos]

Oh man, is that one touchy. I'd have to say it's a draw. Christianity's got numbers, sure, but Islam has real fanatics. Anyone for kamikaze?
Battle of Anime Geeks: Gaia Online versus 4chan.

[Fotiadis110]

Shigeru Miyamoto paved the way for Hironobu Sakaguchi.... you DON'T beat the man who made the industry profitable :p

Shigeru Miyamoto is the clear winner :p

Monkeys Vrs Penguins

[new_guy]

Penguins. Only cause they are alot better wimmers.

Harry potter Series vs Twilight series.

[Lord Anglekos]

Harry potter Series vs Twilight series.
Harry Potter, but barely.
Wanna know why?
http://i259.photobucket.com/albums/hh295/Satan2-0/untitled21.jpg
Anyways, here's the next one....
Battle of the Epics: The Bible versus God of War.
Yes, have fun with it.

[BlackAndBlueEyes]

The Bible is one of the greatest works of fantasy literature evar.

God of War is some halfway decent Playstation trilogy that really puts the Greek gods in a bad light--seriously, they shouldn't be getting the tar kicked out of them by a freakin' mortal.

So I'm going to judge this battle in two ways: Kratos vs. Old Testament God, and Kratos vs. New Testament God.

OTG was a nasty son of a bitch. The Great Flood? The plagues upon Egypt? Countless other things I can't remember even after eight years of Sunday School? Kratos ain't gonna' survive a fight with Old Testament God, no matter how much he beat Zeus within an inch of his life.

NTG was a bit of a pussy; being all kind and gentle and stuff because he had visitation rights for his only begotten son on Easter Sunday. Kratos would win this one all the way.

Ugh, I'm skint for ideas. Um...

Naruto vs. Dragon Ball Z.

[Shadowed]

You're comparing a NINJA NO JUTSU to a KAMEHAMEHA? DBZ, hands down. Goku would beat the piss out of Naruto. Hell, even six-year-old Gohan could.

Ultimate challenge: Kurt Cobain vs. Michael Stipe. BATTLE OF THE EMOS, GO GO GO.

[Godhand]

Ultimate challenge: Kurt Cobain vs. Michael Stipe. BATTLE OF THE EMOS, GO GO GO.

Are you fucking retarded?

[Lord Anglekos]

Ultimate challenge: Kurt Cobain vs. Michael Stipe. BATTLE OF THE EMOS, GO GO GO.
Neither. They off themselves in the first round.
Blondes versus Redheads versus Brunettes. Anything goes.

[BlackAndBlueEyes]

Redheads, but only because Letho would jump in and beat the living crap out of everyone else to defend the collective honor of his fair crimson maidens.

Goombas from Super Mario Brothers vs. Slimes from Dragon Warrior/Quest

[MetalDrago]

Goombas. They have flying forms.

The Columbian Cartel vs. the Russian Mob

[Fotiadis110]

Russian Mob, Thanks to the Vodka

Buttered toast strapped to a cat Vrs Gravity

[Alydia Ettermire]

Gravity. Always. Wins. The cat will still land on its paws, if it wasn't dropped from too low a distance.

H'mmm...

Pencils v. pens v. markers v. crayons.

[Bloodrose]

"The pen is mightier than the sword." Since none of the other three can make that claim, it's safe to assume that the pen would mop the floor with them in a brawl.

Coffee vs Tea

[Aiko]

Tea, it tastes better. Although, I do loves me some coffee. Infact I have a 30 oz coffee mug sitting at the ready. It takes half a pot to fill, but it's worth it.

Hmm....

Here's one.

The Seven Deadly Sins (the concept, not my Althanas NPCs) Versus The Seven Heavenly Virtues (Again, the concept not my Althanas NPCs, even though I haven't used them yet, even though their the exact same set of NPCs and turn virtuous later.)

[Lord Anglekos]

Seven Deadly Sins. They're more known and thus have the advantage of majority on their side.
Plus Lust kicks ass.

Here's a good one for the "real men" 'round here:
Beer versus women.
Take it away, boys.

[Arsène]

Beer.

The Police v. U2

[Shadowed]

They'd both self-destruct through sheer ego and lack of any noticeable musical talent.

Roomba (http://media.techeblog.com/images/roomba_discovery.jpg) vs. Mouse Droid (http://farm1.static.flickr.com/109/298364352_5b17c96d94.jpg?v=0)

[Alydia Ettermire]

Roomba, for sheer easier storage capability. And what did the Mouse Droid even do, anyway?


To-MAY-to v. To-MAH-to

[Arsène]

I have never met anyone who called it a Ta-MAH-to. The day I do will be a cold day in hell, and that person will find out personally. To-MAY-to wins.

David Bowie v. Marc Bolan for the title of King of Glam Rock, and only Glam Rock.

[Shadowed]

David Bowie is one of the all-time gods of music to begin with, so of course he's the king of glam rock. Marc Bolan can't even begin to compare. But on that note...

A twenty-five year old Billy Joel vs. a twenty-five year old Bruce Springsteen - deathmatch.

[Storm Veritas]

Wasn't Billy Joel a boxer as a kid?

Either way, I'm betting on him because even if he isn't a boxer, he's be all liquored up and indestructible feeling.

Trebek or Sajak?

[Christoph]

Who is Trebek, no contest? That's right, in the form a question, bitch.

Paper vs. Plastic?

[Lord Anglekos]

Plastic. It can do anything paper can do, and more.
Here's one. Gerard Butler(Leonidus) versus Gerard Butler(Beowulf).

[BlackAndBlueEyes]

Gerard Butler (P.S. I Love You).

Ella Fitzgerald vs. Billie Holiday

[Fotiadis110]

Simply put? I have heard of Billie Holiday in New Zealand, and that fame alone is beyond the longitivity, sensibilities and other successes of Ella.


Billie through sheer fame!

3 headed Dog Vrs 4 headed Cat

[Alydia Ettermire]

Cerberus, for the win.


Fingers vs toes?

[Aiko]

Fingers, they have more uses.

Hah, the golden classic.

Star Wars Versus Star Trek.

[Shadowed]

Executor would be able to kick the shit out of the Enterprise without blinking. All of Starfleet, the Borg, the Klingons, and the Romulans together couldn't take down the Imperial fleet. And I don't recall seeing any death stars or jedi in Star Trek. Star Wars would win, hands down.

Indiana Jones vs. Han Solo, fight to the death.

[MetalDrago]

Han Solo. With his skills with that gun, he'd pick off Jones before he got within twenty feet.

Freddy Krueger vs. Jason, no holds barred. I want honest opinions, because the movie was a bust.

[Fotiadis110]

your kidding???

machette vrs sharp slashing?

Machette can chop a man to peices fast enough, and if Jason was silly enough not to wear something antislash, he'd deserve to lose -_-

Locust Vrs Cockroach
which thought terrifies you more, swarms of bugs, or something you can't kill :p

[Aiko]

How about of swarm of something you can't kill? Have you ever been in a place with a roach infestation? *shivers.*

Roaches FTW

Alright, let's say the impossible happens, and a gateway to all our fictional worlds opens up.

Real Life, Versus our fictional worlds which we can no longer control. I mean ALL fiction, without exception, regardless of whose it is, or what it is.

[Fotiadis110]

defienately fiction....

wait, what about our super heros... they can't be beaten, because the world would become the comic....

Ok, Fiction wins at PROTECTING real life in some weird and odd manner...

Kiwi Vrs Tui (google with word 'bird' and tell me which you prefer, k thnks)

[Lord Anglekos]

Kiwi.
Needles versus razors.

[Christoph]

Needles, because razors are for emos.

Lions vs. Tigers vs. Bears.

[Aiko]

Lions, because I never saw a tiger or bear in the wizard of oz.

The great philosophers of old, versus the Harvard debate team on the various philosophical subjects the philosophers themselves created and discussed.

[Shadowed]

Harvard Debate Team. The philosophers of old were drunken social climbers who smoked too much hashish and spent their days asking questions of the stars.

Ribbentrop vs. Nero in a poetry contest.

[Fotiadis110]

seriously?

Nero.
At least he appeared to have Class, and some independent ideas, or at least 100 slaves to write it for him :p

Tree Vrs Turtle the war of great ages!

[Aiko]

Tree, they can stand for thousands of years before finally falling.

Canada versus America at the olympic games.

[Alydia Ettermire]

Umm...duh. The medal counts don't lie. America.

Criminal Minds v. Numbers?

[Fotiadis110]

No question about it. Numbers kicks ass.

Forget analysis of the human mind, showing the power of maths in the world around us is beautiful!

Now, All out brawl

Neutral turf...

Simpsons, Family Guy, South Park

Who walks away the victor?

[Rahegalhoff]

Simpsons, but Family guy is a close second. With all the stuff the simpson family's been through, there's no way in heck they could lose. Although, peter's regular brawls with the chicken shows he can kick his share of ass too.

PS3 versus Xbox 360

[Fotiadis110]

um... Xbox 360 is windows, and PS3 is over-rated *MEEEEEEEEEEEP* in my opinion, if I had to choose by abilities? ps3, if I had to choose based on the games you can play? Xbox 360.
But I'd rather a top of the line blueray computer over both -_-

Now then, leaves vs rain.
Which do you rather play in?

[Shadowed]

There are few things better in this world than running around outside in the rain with your girl. And if you're playing by yourself, it doesn't matter which you choose, because neither is very fun alone.

Flying V vs. SG, battle of sexiness.

[Lord Anglekos]

Uhm...Flying V...?
Anyways, I'm bringing this back to life. It's not that old, so the corpse should be pretty fresh.
Battle:
Resurrection vs. Reincarnation.

[Libis]

There are few things better in this world than running around outside in the rain with your girl. And if you're playing by yourself, it doesn't matter which you choose, because neither is very fun alone.

So True.

Reincarnation. Karma rules. Although ironically I believe in the other one -_-;

Radio Vs. Tv.

[MetalDrago]

Radio, because MTV is no longer a music channel.

Snow vs. Frozen Rain

[Visla Eraclaire]

Snow. You can't do anything but get annoyingly pelted by freezing rain.

Copyrights vs Patents

[Libis]

Patents. People copyright the stupidest things. Although gene-patenting is the worst idea ever.

Onions vs. Aubergines ('eggplants' to you americans)

[Lord Anglekos]

Eggplants. Far more hideous.
Here's one: Lawyers versus writers.

[Graph]

Lawyers. Writers are starving to begin with.

High school kids or puppies?

[Lord Anglekos]

I must answer this.
High school kids. Why? They're people. No matter what cuteness defense the puppy may have, the kid will be infinitely more dangerous than the dog. Their capability for twisted perversity knows no real bounds.
The puppy's done for.
Moving on: Elfin Lied versus Hellsing. Speaking of perversities...
For those who don't know of either, basically psychotic/telekinetic cat-eared little girls that rip people's limbs off for kicks versus baby-eating nazi vampires. Your choice.

[Lathienas Miraq]

Easily psychotic cat-eared girls.

Manga vs. Western Comics

[Azlen]

Easy Mangas, more people read those.

Obama vs. George W. Bush

[Libis]

Easy Mangas, more people read those.
I'd debate that point. Besides comics are better -_-

Obama. He has support of more people.

Me vs. You

[Aiko]

Me, of course.

Batman Versus Iron Man in a battle of wits.

[MetalDrago]

Iron Man, hands down.

The Joker vs. The King Pin

[Saxon]

Joker. Depending on the Kingpin you used, I think even him as an ex-championship boxer wouldn't be able to stand up to the psychosis that is the Joker.

Hellboy v. Abe Sapian underwater.

Hey, I've gotta give ol'e Abe some kind of advantage against the Whammer, don't I? =P

[Lord Anglekos]

Yep.
In that case, Abe; far more experience fighting (and living) underwater, and stronger than HB there at that. Go Gill-boy.
Assassin's Creed 2 versus God of War 3, eh?