A Tree in a Tavern (OPEN!)

[Rival_of_Logic]

As Woody stepped through the door to the tavern, he was flooded with the usual gaping stares, accompanied by silence, from all directions. He rustled his needles, shaking the accumulated dew from himself, and then shut the door behind him. He spoke through the minds of everyone in the room.

“Yeah, I know, I’m a walking, talking tree. No, this isn’t some sort of prank. Seriously, don’t let a tree distract you from having a good time.”

The room began to regain its noise and cheer, awkwardly at first, and then all was normal once more. Woody was reminded of how easily distracted people could be. Business, he guessed, was on average tonight, for the place was not very full. He slid over to the bar, casually scooting two empty stools aside in order to make room for himself. The gruff bartender eyed him with confusion, maybe even laughter.

“I’ll have a beer. See to it that you give me the good stuff, too.”

Though he was a tree, it felt good to get out of the wet and the cold of the night. Woody had no particular reason to be in the bar aside from the fact that he wanted to be. The bartender placed his order in front of him, but did not remove his eyes from the tree that had just ordered a beer. Woody snatched the glass from the table with one of his limbs, and the cup disappeared within his mass of needles. About ten seconds later, the glass reappeared, and was placed back on the table, completely empty. Woody made a sort of partially audible, satisfied grunt.

“Thanks. That’s just what I needed. I’ll take another. Oh, wait-”

From somewhere within the inner depths of his needles, the tree produced a coin purse, and slid a small bronze piece onto the counter.

“That should cover two, shouldn’t it?”

Great, thought the bartender to himself. All I need tonight is a drunk tree to have to deal with. The man took the money and turned around.

[Trannyth]

Uthec had been in the tavern for a few hours before the tree creature came into the bar. Before then the only mildly interesting thing that had happened that night was a brawl that had broken out between two very drunk card players. But to Uthec's dismay, the fight was quickly squelched by the taverns many bouncers, who quickly and literally threw the the two drunken men out. Uthec had set out of elven homeland of Reshlian, a small town in Raiaera many weeks ago embarking on his quest to gain more knowledge into the druidic arts. This journey just got a little more interesting.

The tree creature went directly to the bar were the barkeep gave him a drink though Uthec did not hear him ask for anything. Were is the mouth on that thing anyways? It must speak with some form of telepathy. This creature greatly intrigued Uthec, who was after a what he called a Bladeweaver, a combination of a fighter and a Druid. With his Druidic powers Uthec concentrated his power into extending his mind to the tree thing.

You are a very interesting creature, now arn't you? IF you don't mind me asking, what are you? He said through his thoughts.

[Rival_of_Logic]

As he sat at the bar, waiting for his second order, Woody was aware of a man who was eying him curiously from across the room. Then he was addressed by this person through his mind. This didn’t startle him, but it was a rare case to find a man in such a place with the abilities necessary to communicate telepathically with a tree. But then again, it was most likely an even rarer case to find a walking, talking tree in such a place. The half-man asked him what sort of creature he was, exactly, so Woody answered as well as he could.

“Well, obviously I am a tree, yet I do understand your questioning. You seem like the sort of person who understands the feelings of trees, and it is rare that I find someone who is able and as enthusiastic to communicate with one such as me. I would enjoy a good talk, so please, come over here and sit down and make yourself comfortable. I’m in no hurry.”

A second full glass was placed in front of him as he concluded, yet he was not as quick to drink it this time. He awaited a reply from the half-man across the room.

[Trannyth]

Uthec was very pleased with the tree creatures respons and with that Uthec picked up his shield, Shimmerglow and strppedi t to his back as he collected the other items he had splayed accross the old wooden table, his falchion Brizjear, his elven cloak, and his satchel. He casually made his way to bar and took a seat next to the tree not ever looking at him directly but as if he didnt notice the strangeness of the creature standing next to him, and to Uthec there was no strange thing about the tree.

Uthec had spent many long hours sitting in the forest amongs the oldest of oaks, mentally communicating with. But unlike the creature next to him, they did not do so with direct thoughts or words not even images, for trees had no eyes after all, but rather with emotions and feelings, and so you would have to communicate with a tree in the same manner. A very frustrating concepted if you do not understand it. So to Uthec this tree creature did not shock him or strike him as strange in any manner at all.

And so here uthec was.....sitting next to a talking tree. He couldnt help but chuckle at the fact. The barkeep came up to him then ,eyeing the tree along the way, asking what Uthec would like. He ordered a light elven wine that came to him faster then he expect. "My name is Uthec Trannyth, the first of the Bladeweavers" said Uthec adressing the tree directly for the first time he came to the bar.

[Rival_of_Logic]

“Well, then, good day to you, Ulthec Trannyth. My name is Francis Burlington, but it would be preferable if you could just call me Woody.”

Woody could somehow feel the half-man’s presence in his mind, and he was sure he was some sort of druid. He began to sip his drink.

“If you don’t mind me asking, what exactly is a Bladeweaver? I can’t say I’ve ever heard the term before. Was it you who created the Bladeweavers? And how many others are there? Please, tell me, for I would hear more.”

After a few more small drinks, Woody paused then engulfed the cup within his branches once more. There was an audible gulp, and then the cup was placed once more on the counter, empty. He shook slightly, showering a few pine needles on the floor.

[Trannyth]

Uthec was suprised, but pleasently so, when Woody proclaimed his interest in his self given title.

"Bladeweavers is an order of my own finding that consistence of people who possess Druidic abilities and the honed skills of a Fighter. We seek to improve our Druidic and Fighting capabilities while at the same time seeking and creating beauty in that which surrounds us all......Nature."

Uthecs eyes glazed over and he smiled as his tone reached a state of revrie as it always did when he spoke of the past. "My elven mother was the leader of the towns vangaurd withc was known as the Protective Blade, the weapons i now possess were her's, and my human father was highly ranked member in the Druidic community known as Wood Weavers. They were the ones to teach me my crafts, though at the moment my blade is much quicker then my spells." said Uthec with a self depreciating laugh.

"But to awnser your other question I am the only current member, I created the order upon the death of my father, my mother had died while giving me life," continued Uthec the sadness creaping into his vioce. "So i left my home town to become stronger and to learned the ways of past Druids. I have not felt the need to recruit others sense I myslef is still learning." Uthec gave a long pause after the statment, then emptied his mug in just a few gulps trying to squlch inner demons that were quickly creeping into the back of his mind with the return of the talk about his parents.

But they quickly faded away as they always had. "So, Woody" Said Uthec his voice once again reaching a nutreul tone. "I have told you my story, it seams only fair for me to know your own, deos it not?" And iwht that Uthec ordered another drink and payed the barkeep for both his orders, his current and latest orders of the elven wine.

[Huntress]

Shindayru had watched the two people - well, they were living things, for want of a more general term - at the bar for a while now. She had reason to be wary. After throwing out the two drunk card players and receiving a black eye in the process, she was on the lookout for more potential issues. Seeing as the man and tree at the bar were getting steadily more intoxicated, Shindayru would not be surprised if a dusruption broke out from them in the near future.

Continuing to scan the tavern beadily for any other problems that might crop up and finding none, she returned her attention to the bar. The tree seemed jittery now, shaking and dropping pine needles to the floor. Shindayru sighed. She'd probably be delegated to clean that up, if only beacause their regualr janitor was on vacation in the Tular Plains. Why he'd want to go to the middle of nowhere she did not know- Oh, hello, what's this?

From her place in the shadows by the doorframe Shindayru saw Nina, one of the new waitresses, neatly evade a wandering pair of hands. The thing that caught Shindayru's attention however was not the fact that one of the tavern-goers tried to grope Nina (that was to be expected in a building full of drunks), it was who those hands belonged to that caught her attention. She could have sworn she had seen the tree-man's companian with the touchy-feely man somewhere in the past...

Ah, yes, she had it now. As she had fled from Raiera she had seen the two of them chasing behind the Dark Elves that had attacked her village. She had never found out why. But were they both here coincidentally? Or had they arranged to meet here, at the Peaceful Prominade of all places. Hmmm... Well, Shindayru was bored, and she was going to find out soon.

So, with a purposeful stride, Shindayru approached the tree's companion with the determined air of someone on a mission, fully intending to point out the other stranger from her past and ask why they were both here. Although, one thing that Shindayru did not plan for happened. It was something she did not expect at all.

Something she hated more then anything.

Shindayru was ignored.

[Trannyth]

Uthec was surprised when when he finnaly noticed the elven women behind him. From the look on her face she had been there for quite some time, and she did not seam happy about that. It had been a long time sense Uthec had seen an elven women, she did not seam to be very old, even by human standards. She even looked a little like the elves of his home village. But this particuler elf was familer to her but from were........oh yes this is the lovly lady who through out the two drunken card players.

"I am truly sorry miss, but i did not know you were standing there behind. So what can i do for you?" Uthec said this with the most respect as he could muster, for he knew the elves very intamently ,especially sense he was half elven, and knew how easily they could be offended. And if that was not enough the elf carried a sword accross her back, and the way she moved bespoke of a warrior.

Uthec could only hope that if danger did come to pass, that he wield be quick enough to block the elves blade with his own, and who knew if he got lucky maybe Woody would help him out.

[Huntress]

Finally! Who would have thought that someone who was so courteous to a tree, of all things, and completely ignore a person such as herself? Shindayru sighed inwardly and proceeded cautiously- well, at least as cautiously as an already angered hot-headed elf could be.

Shindayru poked the tree's companion in the chest roughly and started on a tangent (Most requests, insults, and threats were physically impossible but luckily stated in Elvish so that the barkeeper wouldn't have Lars, another bouncer, throw her out for mistreatment of customers) that would make her parents ashamed. Elves were, after all, supposed to be the face of dignity. But Shindayru was damn tired of dealing with humans after three months of seeing their worst side and nothing but, and this half-breed was not helping her mood.

As she finished, Shindayru poked him in the chest one last time and was fully prepared to take off from work early today. But, just as the tree's companion came out of his state of shock, Shindayru heard him say one thing. "I hope that you know most of those things are unhealthy." No, the statement was not unusual, but the fact the he said it in fluent High Elvish, well... That was the subject more of interest to her.

And so Shindayru turned around, yet again, to address the more and more confusing man in front of her.

[Trannyth]

Uthec heard and understood every word the young hot headed elf had directed at him and he tryed to remain passive through out the whole thing but he could not understand why this women was so intent on chastizing him? When the women was finally over she turn as if to leave Uthec spoke again this time in high elven as she had done to him.

"I hope that you know that most of thoughs things you said to me are very unhealthy."

That got her attention, and so she turn around again. Oh great, now i have pissed her off.

Please do not make my character talk again. Thank you.

[Huntress]

Sorry... I didn't mean to bunny you. It won't happen again. I just write fanfiction as well so I narrate everyone's actions all the time. I guess you could bunny me in return... And to explain Shindayru's behaviour, she's very young for an elf, not even 100 years old, and hot-headed to boot. She doesn't think about what she says, and just blurts out the thing that's on her mind without caring what it does to people. Also, Shindayru hates being ignored, but that dislike originates from her fear that someday she'll be left completely alone.

He was worried. Shindayru could see the carefully disguised agitation brewing in his eyes as she stalked towards him- and then, surprisingly, sat down and ordered a drink. "I'm not really supposed to be drinking on duty, but my boss won't mind a pint or two as long as I don't screw up my work." She explained laughingly over the rim of her tankard.

A rustle of pine needles made Shindayru jump, nearly causing her drink to spill onto Ulthic's tunic. She had forgotten about the slumped-over tree on the other side of the High Elven speaking man. The tree merely rustled a while more and proceeded to sleep. Can trees sleep? She wondered briefly.

She shook her head and returned to the task at hand: Buttering up this man. She needed to know why the two strangers were at the same place at the same time, and if it was intentional or not. And so Shindayru addressed this man with the tone of someone who won't take no for an answer, stating, "Do you know that man at the back... booth..?" The other man was gone.

[Trannyth]

Uthec was quickly put at ease by the elf woman's sudden change in demeanor, but his gaurd was not completly put off. This women had already proven that she was quiet a hot head with her first outburst, and Uthec completly believed that her change of heart was a complete ruse to put him at ease.

And then she asked "Do you know that man at the back... booth..?"

"What man?" asked Uthec who was very confused.

[Huntress]

He was right here! How could she have missed him? Where did he go? Shindayru surprised everyone when she ran outside into the pouring rain, squinting desperately for the elusive man she had failed to catch. All she saw, though, were children playing in the many puddles that lined the road and a single horseback rider looking fervently for a stable to put their horse in for the night.

Shindayru stomped in and scowled heavily. The barkeeper couldn't help but mutter a snide comment involving 'PMSing females and their moodswings' under his breath. Unfortunately for him, Shindayru heard. She directed her scowl at him instead, storming over while digging for something in her beltpouch. The barkeeper was relieved to see it was not a lethal weapon, but rather a gold coin which she then used to order a large glass of imported rum- there were nods all around commending her good taste.

She considered the glass in front of her for a moment, then shook her head and conjured a small sphere of fire easily fitting in her palm. An intake of breath could be heard from all corners of the bar, and Lars advanced on her warily. Everyone knew what fire in an alchohol filled room could do. The breath was exhaled, however, when she held up to her face for a moment, basking in the warmth and dryness it gave her. Pushing her now dry blonde hair out of her face irritably, Shindayru once again contemplated the glass in front of her.

Appearing to have made a decision, Shindayru picked up the glass and, in one large swig, consumed half it's contents. Ooh... A particulairly drunk man murmured unthinkingly, Lovey's got a- He was cut short by the thunk as Shindayru's head hit the bar shortly after her glass. The barkeeper shook his head sadly. "Boss isn't gonna like this... No, not at all." Shindayru had known this. It's why she did it.

She had the scent of a mystery in her nose, and she was going to follow that scent.

[Trannyth]

Woody you still jioning this thread? im waiting for you before i post again.

[Trannyth]

What.......the......hell? was all Uthec could say or think when he watched the elf women suddenly run from the bar to outside and then back again. But his quickly faded into intense interest as she conjured the ball of fire in her hand.

Magic? Now that is something. Maybe i could learn something from this elf.

And he shifted straight back to confusion as she drained half the contetns of her mug in one fell swig.........and then passed out as if nothing happened.

What the hell? Thought Uthec with a chuckle. "Is this a normal thing?" Uthecs asked the barkeep, pointing to the women. "Woody what do you make of this?" But woody had apparently fallen asleep. Huh...dint know a tree could do that. Well i geuss it would be time for leaveing. And with that Uthec left the tavern to wounder of on his new adventure.

[Huntress]

Shindayru woke up. Shindayru saw. And Shindayru groaned. In front of her bruised forehead was a notice of termination telling her she was fired. Underneath the notice was a note from the barkeeper asking her if she could please clean up.

When she thought about it, she realized that as she was fired, there was no reason to help anymore. But still... She owed the barkeeper a favour anyway.

---

There! Done. Shindayru looked, satisfied, at the polished bar surface she had just worked up a sweat cleaning. She regretfully examined the Peaceful Prominade- had it been wise of her to get herself fired? Shindayru shook her head clear of those thoughts. It had been her choice, and besides, the recently discovered mystery of those two men was still fresh in her mind.

She would find them. She would. And when she did... Shindayru bared her teeth in a mockery of a grin. The answers would be shaken out of them- whatever it took.

And so, unwittingly following the same route as Uthec on her way out, Shindayru left the building she'd settled more fights at then anywhere else.

But she was free now. It was up to her to do what she had to. And what she had to do was quell the thirst of her curiosity- even if it killed her.

[Taskmienster]

A Tree in a Tavern


STORY (10/30)

~ Continuity ~ 3

~Overall not terrible, but you are missing things here and there. First off, who are the character’s you are playing? Where do they come from? Why are they in the Peaceful Promenade? What’s their goals for future settings… all of these questions don’t have to be answered in the first post, but should be answered at least slightly sometime in the thread.

~ Setting ~ 3

~When you use setting, there is a principle idea that you should always keep in mind. Show it, don’t tell it. You’re not aiming to tell us that something was hard, something smelt bad, and the like. Explain it through use of the senses, “The table top was hard,” is better expressed as “The top of the table was as firm as…” What did the tavern smell like, how did the drinks you were drinking taste? Things like that help a lot with the setting.

~ Pacing ~ 4

~Very short posts detract from the pacing. You are trying to write a story, for fun mind you, that all participating in can in turn respond too. If you do not give enough to work off of, the responses aren’t going to be of equal length. Also, without putting too much into it, you can help out the pacing by adding descriptions, using metaphors/similes, and further explanation of your personality. These three things help lengthen posts, as well as add to three other categories too.



CHARACTER (12/30)

~ Dialogue ~ 4

~When you write dialogue, do not repeat the dialogue just written the post before. You can respond without having to retype what they said, it is just annoying to re-read a line after it was just written. You should also attempt to push more character through use of dialogue, when you write dialogue you can put emphasis on the way the character says something as well as how it is said. Elven people might speak with a higher diction, if not then you can explain why you don’t… which will also add to persona. Things like that help a lot. Other than that, it was not badly done.

~ Action~ 4

~All in all the back and forth speaking was all that could be considered ‘action’ in the thread. It was not horribly done, though it was slow at times. Peaceful Promenade threads are difficult to show action through, but you can show it all through dialogue and the way your character acts as well.

~ Persona ~ 4

~Huntress: In the beginning of the 11th post, when explaining OOC’ly your character, it should have been put into words in the story instead of in an ooc note. The fanfic thing, that’s an explanation of your bunnying, and the apology, but the rest of that should come out in the writing. Personality, for all involved, is shown through actions taken, dialogue, your view of the setting, and background which leads up to why you act the way you do now.



WRITING STYLE (12/30)

~ Technique ~ 2

~No use of technique at all. This is the part where metaphors, similes, and all other forms of flowery grammatical gifts come into play. You don’t need to write one on top of another the entire thread, but one every so often helps liven up the thread and in turn make the reader much more interested in reading.

~ Mechanics ~ 4

~Lots of spelling and grammatical errors. Most of these would be easily caught by word, or a similar program. Be careful not to overuse the ellipse (…), and when you use it cut the periods down to three with a space after them. It’s clearer, as well as grammatically correct.

~ Clarity ~ 6

~It was clear, but mainly due to the fact that you skipped so heavily on all the other area’s that would have made it unclear. In the future, as you all grow as writers, you will begin to add in depth to each area, and juggling clarity while doing so is always a difficult feat. But keep up the good work, take the comments if you would like to, and I’m always here to help if you need it.


WILD CARD!!! 6

If you have any questions, comments, concerns, or need clarification just PM me and I’ll be glad to help.



TOTAL

(40/100)


GAINS/REWARDS!

~Trannyth gains 300 exp and 75 gold

~Huntress gains 245 exp and 60 gold

~Rival_of_logic gains 150 exp and 40 gold

[Witchblade]

EXP and GP added!