Huntress
10-24-08, 07:05 PM
Name: Shindayru "Huntress" K'ren
Age: 24
Race: Elf
Hair Color: Blonde
Eye Color: Green
Height: 6'3"
Weight: 123 lbs.
Occupation: Freelance Assassin
Personality: Is a natural leader, and doesn't like being talked down to or scolded. She's very rash and prone to not thinking before speaking, and her sharp tongue has made her many enemies. She has a tendency to toss her sword from hand to hand when she's bored, and others think of this as an effective intimidation tactic. She's forever trying different ways to keep her hair out of the way without cutting it, because her hair is her one vanity. At the moment she keeps it tucked behind her large ears.
Appearance: She's very tall, which adds another intimidating factor to her. She has brilliant green eyes that get darker or lighter depending on her mood. Her long blonde hair often gets blown in front of her face. Her delicate demeanor is deceptive and she uses that to her advantage. She wears baggy clothes that let her manouver easily, and she keeps her sword across her back.
History: Shindayru was born in Raiaera, but when Dark Elves, her land's rivals, killed her parents at the age of 14, she ran away to Coroné to escape the bad memories that haunted her in Raiaera. She was living on the streets, picking up what she could find and stealing what she couldn't, until a rich drokasa, a nosy woman, took an interest in her.
The woman had seen her subtle way of 'picking up' items she could not find, and hired Shindayru with the promise of money if she successsfully stole what she was looking for. She did. When she returned to the drokasa with the sword that was requested, the woman demanded she hand it over. Shindayru refused. She wanted the money first. The older woman was furious and called a silent man to dispatch her.
Before she knew what she was doing, the elf killed the man with the stolen silvery blade and turned on the woman, who was gone. She kept the blade from then on, because it kept the memory of the drokasa fresh in her mind. Shindayru swore she would find her and bring her down, and that's what led her on her mission all over Althanas under the alias of Huntress. On her way she discovered her elemental magic, and learned how to speak Common, a language everyone knew some of.
Skills: Stealth- Shindayru is average when it comes to stealth and espionage.
Swordsmanship- She knows how to use her stolen sword, that she named Sona, the Elven word for mission, and her skill with it is a little above average.
Magic- She has the magical ability to conjure, control, and extinguish small amounts of fire (Roughly 6" spheres), and she can handle it without burning herself.
Athletics- Shindayru has agility common in young elves (Roughly 1.5X the average human's agility), and that allows her to sprint without tiring easily. Her muscles have developed exceptionally from her travels over Althanas and so her strength has improved. She is able to do acrobatics like backflips and rolls.
Equipment- The Huntress has one weapon: Sona. Her steel sword has helped her through everything, from escaping from a heavily guarded facility to slicing her bread. However, on her person she also wears a hollow, thin glass sphere that contains strong poison. If Shindayru is ever captured she will swallow that poison to keep her from leaking any information to enemies about herself or her mission. She is only going to use it on herself in extreme situations, and keeps it hidden under the folds of her shirt.
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I'm hoping for suggestions as to whether or not this character is too Mary-Sueish- and if so, how to change her. I also need to know if I need to add a different weapon to her, or give her another magical ability. Oh, and please try to remember this: Yes, she's 24, but ten years ago she had been exposed to murder, and then a few months later she made her first kill. She's young, but she's been hardened over the years and traveling non-stop across Althanas in all climates will have made her strong. Thank-you for your time!
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Well, I specified the use of the poison and broke up the skills more clearly. Am I good to go?
Age: 24
Race: Elf
Hair Color: Blonde
Eye Color: Green
Height: 6'3"
Weight: 123 lbs.
Occupation: Freelance Assassin
Personality: Is a natural leader, and doesn't like being talked down to or scolded. She's very rash and prone to not thinking before speaking, and her sharp tongue has made her many enemies. She has a tendency to toss her sword from hand to hand when she's bored, and others think of this as an effective intimidation tactic. She's forever trying different ways to keep her hair out of the way without cutting it, because her hair is her one vanity. At the moment she keeps it tucked behind her large ears.
Appearance: She's very tall, which adds another intimidating factor to her. She has brilliant green eyes that get darker or lighter depending on her mood. Her long blonde hair often gets blown in front of her face. Her delicate demeanor is deceptive and she uses that to her advantage. She wears baggy clothes that let her manouver easily, and she keeps her sword across her back.
History: Shindayru was born in Raiaera, but when Dark Elves, her land's rivals, killed her parents at the age of 14, she ran away to Coroné to escape the bad memories that haunted her in Raiaera. She was living on the streets, picking up what she could find and stealing what she couldn't, until a rich drokasa, a nosy woman, took an interest in her.
The woman had seen her subtle way of 'picking up' items she could not find, and hired Shindayru with the promise of money if she successsfully stole what she was looking for. She did. When she returned to the drokasa with the sword that was requested, the woman demanded she hand it over. Shindayru refused. She wanted the money first. The older woman was furious and called a silent man to dispatch her.
Before she knew what she was doing, the elf killed the man with the stolen silvery blade and turned on the woman, who was gone. She kept the blade from then on, because it kept the memory of the drokasa fresh in her mind. Shindayru swore she would find her and bring her down, and that's what led her on her mission all over Althanas under the alias of Huntress. On her way she discovered her elemental magic, and learned how to speak Common, a language everyone knew some of.
Skills: Stealth- Shindayru is average when it comes to stealth and espionage.
Swordsmanship- She knows how to use her stolen sword, that she named Sona, the Elven word for mission, and her skill with it is a little above average.
Magic- She has the magical ability to conjure, control, and extinguish small amounts of fire (Roughly 6" spheres), and she can handle it without burning herself.
Athletics- Shindayru has agility common in young elves (Roughly 1.5X the average human's agility), and that allows her to sprint without tiring easily. Her muscles have developed exceptionally from her travels over Althanas and so her strength has improved. She is able to do acrobatics like backflips and rolls.
Equipment- The Huntress has one weapon: Sona. Her steel sword has helped her through everything, from escaping from a heavily guarded facility to slicing her bread. However, on her person she also wears a hollow, thin glass sphere that contains strong poison. If Shindayru is ever captured she will swallow that poison to keep her from leaking any information to enemies about herself or her mission. She is only going to use it on herself in extreme situations, and keeps it hidden under the folds of her shirt.
-----
I'm hoping for suggestions as to whether or not this character is too Mary-Sueish- and if so, how to change her. I also need to know if I need to add a different weapon to her, or give her another magical ability. Oh, and please try to remember this: Yes, she's 24, but ten years ago she had been exposed to murder, and then a few months later she made her first kill. She's young, but she's been hardened over the years and traveling non-stop across Althanas in all climates will have made her strong. Thank-you for your time!
-----
Well, I specified the use of the poison and broke up the skills more clearly. Am I good to go?