Kially Challenge Two - That's what she said!

[Kially Gaith]

DOWNTIME UPDATE: Due to the downtime, instead of Christmas Eve as had been planned to end this, I will be ending this on the 27TH OF DECEMBER, MIDNIGHT GMT. Thanks to all who have entered so far!

Now, the idea of this contest is to make me laugh! And make me laugh hard!

The funniest three will each win a fate point.

Now, those who of you who are not familiar with the 'That's what she said' -game-, I'll explain it for you.

In conversation, usually be it through an IM client or IRC, there often comes a moment where adding 'That's what she said' after a conversation or line would result in a very comedic and humorous result, for example:

Kially: So yesterday, I bought a new XBOX360 and it came with all these leads.
Generic person: Yeah?
Kially: Seriously, there were tons!
Kially: I got it all together eventually though, but it left one lead over.
Kially: I couldn't find where to put it in!
Generic Person: That's what she said!

WHAM, I MADED A FUNNY.

So, that's the 'That's what she said' game. Come up with a humorous and funny conversation or monologue, ending it with 'That's what she said!'

You may add a light personal touch after 'That's what she said' but keep it brief, so it doesn't detract from the joke.

An example would be the following summary of an actual conversation I had

Kially: Yeah, you and your womens rights, you fight for years to get your dignity then you strip for money and stand on street corners.
Christoph: Dude, I'm a guy.
Kially: That's what she said...Wait...Fuck...

[Farmboy]

*Two friends are working hard to put an entertainment center together; for the story's sake, one man is Tom, the other is Bob*
Tom: Okay, we just put the backpiece on and connected it to side braces..
Bob: That's step fouteen right?
Tom: Yeah.
*Flips page to next step*
Tom: Alright, we have to slip the side panels into the corner sockets so the drawers will roll freely. I'm gonna get down underneath and watch the backpiece so I can make sure they fit in on both sides.
Bob: Okay.
*Tom crawls underneath the center and watches the backpiece and Bob picks up side panels and starts to fidget with the corner sockets*
Bob: Damn!
Tom: What's wrong?
Bob: I can't get this second panel into the corner socket, the backpiece keeps wiggling!
Tom: Do you need me to hold it for you so you can slip it in?
Bob: That's what she said.

[noodleguy]

Person 1: Hey, this thing isn't going fast enough!!
Person 2: 9/11

[Arsène]

In a dreary little alleyway in the dead of night, a woman is being assaulted by a masked man.

Man: Your money or your life!
Woman: Hel- *she doesn't manage to get the word out as the man smacks her in the face as hard as he can with his gun. He twists her around, forces her head into the wall.
Woman: Police! Someone! Come quick!
Man: That's what she said! Haha.

They find her body the next day, beaten and ravaged.

[Fitz]

Bill: Dude you done yet?
Ted: No man.
Bill: What the hell is taking you so long?
Ted: Hey man, this isn't as easy as it looks!
Bill: Fine, just wake me when it my turn.
Ted: That's what she said...

[SoulBeaver]

Awesome. My turn. Let me think of something. Sorry if it's not that funny, I've... never tried making my own joke before and I've given myself only half a minute to think of a premise :D Everything else is just... impromptu. Cheers to the contest :D

Markus: "Hey, dude... can I tell you something personal?"

Timothy: "Sure, what's up dude?"

Markus: "Uh...well, I think- I'm pretty sure I have erectile dysfunction."

Timothy: "I'm pretty sure that's what she said! Burn!"

Markus: "No, no really. Please don't joke about that...I really have ED."

Timothy: "Christ, you're not joking? Dude! Does your girlfriend know about this?"

Markus: "Yeah..."

Timothy: "And what did she say?"

Markus: "She said, 'That's what I said.'"

Timothy: "She did?"

Markus: "Yeah..."

Timothy: "Did you feel burned?"

Markus: "No, just a little dysfunctional down there."

Timothy: "Did she say that as well?"

Markus: "No, that's what her girlfriend next to her said."

Timothy: "Well, shit dude."

Markus: "THAT'S what she said."

[Father Snew]

[12:10] Me: yes
[12:10] Me: I'm looking at shemale porn Brittany
[12:10] Her: wow...why'd ya have to go to the shemale? i would have figured you'd just be watching lesbian and ask me to come over and "watch it" with you lol
[12:12] Me: I figure a little something for both of us.
[12:12] Her: heh you're a dirty dirty boy
[12:13] Me: have I pretended to be anything else?
[12:14] Her: sometimes you use to pretend to be a dick to me lol
[12:15] Me: dicks are dirty dirty boys
[12:15] Her: yeah but I don't like dicks
[12:15] Me: thats what she said

[Saxon]

Guy: Sorry
Guy: Roommate and me are having a nerf fight
Me: Nerf-Kill him.
Guy: I have to wear protective glasses, I get hit in the eye alot
Me: That's what she said.

[Kially Gaith]

3 Days remain until winners announced!

Midnight on the 24th. Where as new challenge will be put up!

[Teal]

Bob: So I just bought Guitar Hero for my DS
Joe: Yeah, how was it?
Bob: Pretty cool
Bob: It gives you this little harmonica like thing that you plug into the DS. It's got all the buttons that are the normal guitars and stuff
Joe: Sounds sweet!
Bob: The only problem is that sometimes it falls out when you're playing, and you have to restart
Bob: I wish you could just pop it back in and keep jamming
Joe: That's what she said!

[Edward Judorne]

Me: You know, Christmas is one hectic holiday.
Them: I'll say
Me: Last year I barely had enough money for the holidays, this year I barely have enough time
Them: I know the feeling
Me: Nice thing about the little gifts is that you just have to put them in the stockings, no wrapping required.
Them: I do like how you can just stick them in there.
Me: That's what she said.

[Kially Gaith]

Due to downtime, I will be ending this Midnight (GMT), 27TH of December.

Look for a new thread coming your way soon!

[Christoph]

Oberst Christoph: For my Bladesinger story, I started with some of the introduction, but then decided that I wanted to write up a battle scene that I'd thought of while it's still fresh in my mind, so I skipped ahead.

VegasExie: I can't write out of order.

Oberst Christoph: I do it all the time.

VegasExie: If I do, then it messes me up and I end up getting sloppy while filling in the holes.

Oberst Christoph: That’s what she said.

[Kially Gaith]

Saxon, Arséne and Christoph win this round.

Arséne - Cruel. Original. I expected nothing less from you and alas, it entertained me.

Saxon - Short, sweet, hit the spot, much like the very brief dialogue topic.

Christoph - I liked the whole Althanian twist and I can't help but think that you went out of your way to actually find a conversation where you could correctly insert it.

So guys. Unfortunately...

That's it for now!

And unfortunately. That's what she said. I have paid up front for my next session.

Congratulations to the winners!