Team Registration - Whispers in the Wind

[Petoux]

Mikeavelli is my partner.

Post Mikeavelli to varify ... thanks.

[Mikeavelli]

Yarr!

[Petoux]

The judges want us to spar for their amusement for some strange reason ... so request accepted.



"Whispers rain down from our branches and reach far and wide. Take it to heart or fear the tide. They ring in your ears, and create many fears. Can you deal with your fears that are real to your eye. Or deny them under the tainted sky?"

...

A rhyme. A mysterious rhyme coming from the dying trees around me. What does it mean?

Sara was deep in thought as she was walking on a pitch black road. So black that it looked like she were standing on a void, almost falling into a bottomless pit. The strange path didn't seem to have an end in view, and she forgot if it even had a beginning. Was she lost somehow?

How could this be? Somehow I don't quite remember how I got here.

The same strange whispers from the trees rang through her ears as she tried to make sense of it, but no logic or explanation came to mind. The trees weaved back and forth forming a seemingly endless "S" shape over and over again. They seemed to reach out to her, trying to grab her and suck her into the infinite blackness all around.

A dark sky with a partial moon with only a couple of stars in random places lit the way. The trees glimmered a magical glow of some sort that made it shine and shimmer as if their branches were made of a luxurious glass like jewel. They sparkled the rainbow as she walked by.

The wind picked up as if out of nowhere blowing her maroon hair all over the place. Her attire clung to her pale skin as she looked around for the answers.

The wind stopped as if it never occurred as the branches made a strange noise and sprung apart revealing a figure. The figure was pushed onto the path with quite a force as the branches closed up behind the figure.

Maybe that is how I got here?

She raised a brow of curiosity as she readied her bow pointing right at the figures head ready to take action if she needed to.

"Who are you?! Speak! How did you get here!"



What Sara looks like:

http://th01.deviantart.com/fs11/300W/i/2006/193/6/6/Sara_Sixblades_by_kry1.jpg

...

The scene:

http://farm1.static.flickr.com/132/338617343_659d07a17c_o.jpg

[Mikeavelli]

'Hopper stepped through a Portal from Sigil, and appeared with the accompanying flash of light and wind onto the black road, in the middle of yet another prime world, one of the natives pointing a bow at him menacingly.

So hostile and insistant, he made a point of ignoring her for a couple seconds while he breathed in the fresh air. Nothing green grew in Sigil (except razorvine, which hardly counts) - so the fresh scent of life is one of the few things he enjoys about these Prime material worlds.

He sighed a bit, finally paying attention to Sara. "Powers, this is why I stopped doing this. One step out've Sigil an' some sodding Prime is all up in me' business." He raised up his left hand in front of his chest, like he was expecting the back of his hand to do anything to slow down an arrow through the heart (if it came to that) - and continued, "Look, Miss, tha' Name is Portalhopper. I've a Kip in Sigil, which, judging by the clueless look on yer' face, ye've never heard of, so jus' take me word fer' it when I tell ya walking through Portals ta' strange an' excitin' worlds ain't exactly all that unusual."

And then, almost as an afterthought, the old, experienced, downright cautious 'Hopper actually came out for once, "Now, could ye' PLEASE put yer bow down, Miss?"

[Petoux]

Can this guy speak English? I can barely understand what he is saying. He sounds like a pirate for Christs' sake!

Sara raised a brow again, confused, and trying desperately to understand what he just said. He didn't seem hostile. But why should she just lay down her weapon without a second thought?

"Now, could ye' PLEASE put yer bow down, Miss?"

"Are you serious?! Why on Earth would I listen to a complete stranger that could as well be an assassin out to kill me, or god knows what that can't speak English worth a shit, and you expect me to lay down my weapon without asking questions? What the hell are you thinking? You think I'm stupid or something?"

She still aimed her bow at him...

"I'm going to ask you again, and this time speak clearly so I can understand you. Why should I trust you, when I have no idea who you are or where you came from? You could be lying for all I know. Wheres your proof?"

She was starting to get agitated as she demanded a quick, clear response.



How do you know Saras' name when you never met her?

:p

lol!

[Mikeavelli]

OOC: Well, he never actually says or thinks her name, I just use it in the narrative for ease of reading.

:P

IC:


"Yes. Yes, yer' a Clueless Prime, yer' pointin' yer lil' twig at a man what just walked out've a portal. Now, think about this, such a man either commands magics FAR darker than ye've ever known, in which case iffin' I were an assassin, ye'd already be dead, or such a man is exactly who 'e says 'e is."

'Hopper held both his hands up now, far away from the twin swords at his belt, palms back, with only leather gloves and tiny rings on his fingers. If she looks closely, she can see one made from Silver, on his left hand, and one other made from Bronze on his right hand, he hardly seems threatening. "Now, I'm not threatenin' ye. In fact, I'm tha' one bein' threatened! I dinnae' know who ye' are, and I dinnae' care, but iffin' we're going ta' have a civil conversation, put that thing down an' TALK."

'Hopper stood there, doing his best to appear nonthreatening, while at the same time keeping his muscles tensed. If she went and did something stupid, at this range, he'd have to have perfect timing to keep from getting skewered. With the babble coming out of her mouth, he didn't doubt she might go off and try to shoot him.

[Petoux]

Sara listened carefully, sighed, and nodded in agreement.

"Perhaps you are right Portal Hopper. Sorry to have misjudged you, but it's better to be safe than sorry..."

Sara lowered her bow caustiously...

"...My name is Sara. I assume I got here in the same way you did, but I can't remember. What is the last thing you remember? I would also like to apologize for offending you about your English. Truth be told though, it does need more work."

She smiled and laughed a little bit...

"Sorry, I couldn't help myself."

[Mikeavelli]

"Jus' 'Hopper to me friends." He says with a a great deal more softness than he'd had before. "This's how we speak in Sigil, least tha' cutters who're worth knowing. Prim an' proper ain't fer' everyone.

Now, Sara, seems I'm a bit more in tha' know 'ere. There's a tournament goin' on, Buncha cutters such as ourselves fight fer' the amusement o' tha' powers that be, winner gets a prize, a wish, anything ye ken' think've. I came in at tha' request of. . . An old friend, willingly.

Seems ta' me iffin' yer here, someone, or somethin' wants you 'ere, maybe even wants ye' ta fight me. I was thinkin' it'd be a lil' more structured than'is though."

[Petoux]

Maybe that's what the whispers mean somehow

"A spar huh? I'll tell you what, we'll have a friendly spar to see each others skills and I will willingly join you in the tournament as your ally to claim the prize, deal?"

She held out her hand to shake Hoppers, but to try to catch him off guard, she raised it back up quickly to her bow and fired an arrow towards his chest, aiming slightly below the heart, so she would not kill him if it came intact with the target.



This isn't really the same as the tourny is it?

I can't wait until it starts, the posts will be better than this. In all honesty, I kinda want to get this on with quickly, because it starts soon. If we had more time ... then it would be a different story, trust me.

;)

luzrface

:p

jk

:D

...

P.S.: Have you noticed we are the ONLY team doing this, when it is a requirement to do so? I guess that means we automatically win huh?

:p

[Mikeavelli]

"Certa-" she's fast, and tricky, but it takes only a moment for 'Hopper to activate his silver ring, throwing up a shining translucent energy shield centered on the emerald at the end of it. It's slanted slightly, letting the arrow glance off to his left instead of trying to stop the full force of the arrow, and even still, the force shield ripples slightly under the strain, Damned thing is weaker than I remember it, it shouldn't have even felt that!

Sodding Hells, this is no time for idle thoughts. . . - 'Hopper springs forwards with a counter, she's so close to him now the bow should be nearly worthless, but his other ring, a Bronze band made in the shape of two fists punching against each other, was made for this situation. In one smooth motion his hand twists so the ring faces Sara, the Ring of the Ram sends forth a barely visible wave of bone-shattering force, enough to put her down if it actually hits, but he's not naive enough to think it'll be that easy.

But however she reacts, it'll certainly be distracting enough for him to draw both his swords in his own peculiar backhanded style.

[Petoux]

The art of surprise usually comes from the elves, but it looks like Sara got a taste of her own medicine when a protective barrier appeared over the old man in the blink of an eye and sent the arrow flying off of him and into the woods.

The shield rippled from the strain of the attack, but it was enough to make her bow almost completely useless. It was now time for close encounters until she could back off more.

...

Yet, once again, another surprise. A bronze colored ring with the shape of two fists emitted a strong energy knocking the bow right out of her hands and pushing her back a little ways.

If my bow wasn't in the way, I would be the one taking on the blast not the bow. Looks like I got lucky.

The bow launched quickly out of her hands onto the path, laying a little far aways to be used again if she could manage to pick it up.

Short sword or daggers?

...

Sara thought quickly as she remembered in her weapon training ... when it's this close, daggers are your friend vs the sword.

She reached for both of her daggers and pulled them out, having one in each hand. She twirled them around several times each having the blades at a slight angle so she could have better control over them.

With her enchanced speed of a human, she twirled around faster than a normal human and aimed one of the daggers right towards the underpart of the mans' neck as the other aimed for the side of his body.

If the body one connected, she would raise it up quickly heading towards his shoulder and then pull it out quickly ... if the neck one connected, she would try to push him over , and then quickly grab her bow and fire.

Being rammed left her a tiny bit dazed, but other than that ... she was fine ... minus the bow.

[Mikeavelli]

'Hopper grinned, and watched Sara twirl the blades for a moment before she came at him, he's even got time for a short taunt, "Already three steps ahead've ye, Miss."

She didn't seem to realize his Force Shield wasn't just a one-time thing, and it wasn't at all useless in hand to hand combat. With both his swords facing behind him, he appeared open and unguarded, certainly a quick rush with a pair of daggers might have scratched him without it, but all he has to do is brace forwards and meet her daggers with the shield.

Simultaneously, his right arm is spinning around, shifting Lucky from the backhand to a forehand grip while it comes around his back and over his head.

He's not nearly as fast as she is, but his sense of timing is perfect, at the very instant her daggers impact his shield, she should be slightly off-balance, providing the perfect moment for him to strike back. The shield, having served its purpose, would fade away to leave his own counterstrike unimpeded. Styx, in his left hand, would come almost straight up, lashing out at her left forearm, where he assumed her armor would be lighter, and the dark sawtooth blade would have a good chance to penetrate it.

And he had yet another trick up his sleeve. Lucky came slicing down towards her right shoulder, completing a scissorlike strike with his twin swords. She was right to think he wouldn't be as effective with his long swords against someone like Sara who could dash in past his defenses, even if it struck true it probably wouldn't make more than a flesh wound, but while Lucky came down, it flared to life like a new sun, emitting a startling, blinding light directly in front of Sara's eyes.

[Petoux]

Sorry I didn't post earlier. The server was down, then I thought the tourny started on the 28th ... not sure why.

Anyway ... don't worry about it.

Let's get this over with hmmmm?



A shield block ... Sara was temporarily stunned as she stepped back a couple of steps from the harsh blow as two swords came right towards her.

With her keen elvish eyes and speed, the swords seem to go in slow motion. Sara had an idea, but she had to react fast.

She quickly and purposefully dropped to the ground lying on her back as she made a slight thud as the swords glanced right over her body.

It worked! But at what price? She had to think quickly again ... not much time...

What now?

She rolled out of the way as one of the swords finished coming down and sliced the back of her dress a little bit as it pierced her skin and started to bleed. Nothing to serious at all, for it could have been a lot worse if even deadly!

She was near her bow now as it was still ready with an arrow. She quickly picked it up and fired without aiming towards Hopper as it headed straight for his upper thigh.

[Mikeavelli]

She ken still see! Hmph, mus' be an elf thing. No worries.

In contrast to the rushing, almost panicked Sara, 'Hopper was calm and composed, not even breathing heavily. He walked forwards while Sara was rolling about for her bow, twirling both his swords into a backhand grip, and raising both his hands towards her.

"I wouldn't be doin' that iffin' I were you, Miss. See, ye've already tried it once." His force shield flickers back into view, she's made a miscalculation if she thinks she destroyed it, the thing just gets in the way when he's trying to go on the offensive. He's already angled it to make sure if she fires that arrow, it'll glance off harmlessly.

"ye've lost. Give up 'afore I 'ave ta' smash ye' ta' splinters ta' prove it."

His shield is up, his Ring of the Ram is pointed straight at her, and he's positioned himself perfectly, close enough to make it nearly impossible to avoid the effects of his ring, far enough away that he'll be able to see any sneaky surprises coming a mile away. If she goes through with it and fires off her bow, he'll deflect it aside with the Force Shield, and proceed to fire off his other ring.

If she actually listens to reason and surrenders, he'll be keeping his guard up until she's disarmed.

[Petoux]

"ye've lost. Give up 'afore I 'ave ta' smash ye' ta' splinters ta' prove it."

"Alright, alright! You win!"

She threw down her bow, daggers, and sword. "You are quite masterful with your sword. I've heard of a tournament a brewing somewhere to the North. My name is Sara, I am quite good at a bow and arrow. With my wits and speed along with long range attacks, and your masterfulness with the sword and sheer force, we would make a formidable team. What do you say .... friend?"

She reached out her hand to shake his waiting for his agreement.



OMG, I gots a flesh wound from you!!

:p

[Mikeavelli]

"Aye, 'jus so long as ye' dinnae keep firing at sods so close they ken' jus' run up and chop ye', we'll make a good team." 'Hopper took her hand and gave her a hearty shake.

"Tha' Tournament's what I came here for, If ye' remember what we was talking about 'afore we started dancin'." With that, he turns north, and starts walking, "C'mon, it should be startin' real soon. We dinnae' want ta' be late."

[Max Dirks]

Judgment

Note, the score only reflects the first 2000 words.

Story: 2.6/5 ((The story was simple, but it highlighted something you did perfectly. You had excellent interaction. The way you responded to one another's posts was exactly what I was trying to convey in my Battle FAQ. I would like permission to use portions of your registration to display interaction. Please PM me if that's fine.))

Character: 2.3/5 ((Relying on dialogue is an excellent way to show and develop character. That said, I feel no true or lasting connection with your characters and was not excited to read on (the exception to that being a hint by 'Hopper that he was in the tournament for a friend, which I wanted to learn more about). The characters just seemed bland. Granted, it is hard to develop characters in few words, this is something I want you to work on in the tournament proper)).

Writing Style: 2.1/5 ((Vegna, you need to change your writing a bit. You use the same pronouns and the same sentence structure over and over again. Mix it up a bit and you'll find that your writing scores increase tenfold. Mike, your writing was good until you began 'Hoppers actions. At that point, you lost the clarity you had at the beginning. I think this might be a result of the old Ayenee T1 battle mantra. You're a good storyteller, so rely on that more than trying to meticulously describe your character's actions. Avoid using run-ons so much and you can expect this number to increase. As a side note, Vegna, using names in prose is acceptable. You can only say "the strange man" in so many ways until it becomes a hassle.))

7/15 or 46.67/100