Fight for the Title : Ariana Vs Mathmagician.

[Ariana]

Ok the Lava Guards only move if you come so close to them. Within arms reach. which is 5 feet from the edge.They keep people in and out so no quitting or no 3rd party member. They stand 15 feet tall from where they stand in the lava. They also stand 10 feet apart the whole way around.

Also the island itself is 3 miles all around from the tallest tree. the other trees vary in size and width.


The day was as beautiful as ever, the sun was shining, the wind has a nice calm breeze, the trees are swaying with the wind. Ariana stood on a hill over looking Scara Brae. She had never been here so she wanted to scope the place first. She saw a tavern full of life, She saw a huge building. "What the hell is that place?" she says as she takes hold of her sword and starts walking towards the building. Her pitch black ponytail blowing in the wind like crazy. Now who knows what she will find in that tower building so she is gonna find out what is in there now. All you can really see of her skin is her eyes, and reason for that is cause a black face mask to cover her face and her identity and at the moment they are a bright yellow; but be warned when they turn blood red.


You'd do well to leave her alone or else you wont see the light of day. Her body itself is probably the perfect body; young, curvy in all the right places and standing 5'6 she's a site for all men, a goddes as a mortal. But she is no goddess, just an Akusma ta shinigami, or in the tongue of men, Warrior to the god of death.

Her outfit, per se is that of a ninja. A black long sleeve cloth shirt thats ruffling in the wind. Tight black cloth pants with a black belt to hold her belongings and her sword. Her shoes are a simple shoe make that rarely make any noise unless stepping on things like glass or gravel.

Forty-five minutes pass and she arrives at the tower. She raises her eyebrows and places her left hand on the hild of her sword and puts her right hand on the door and pushes it open to see an empty doorway except for all but a reception desk. She sighs heavily and walks in cautiously, slowly towards the desk that she seen. As she approaches she hears a loud BANG and quickly turns around drawing her sword. "Who's there? Answer me now!" She turns slowly each direction till she sees no one. "Humph" is all she says as she puts her blade away. But when she lifts her face from the sheath she sees a robed man. "Ahhh Ariana, we have been expecting you. Your arena is ready." The monk says as he comes from behind the counter and goes down the hall to the right. Ariana follows him cautiously with her hand still on the hilt. They go left and right down so many halls Ariana loses track of where to go.

Moments later they arrive at a door and the monk speaks again "Welcome to the Dajas Pagoda Ariana. This doorway leads to your own special arena. So before you enter, think of what you want." and with those words the monk vanishes.

She stands there and leans against the wall and just thinks for a few moments. And then finally she stands straigh up "Ahah. That is my arena" She says as she opens the door and is greeted by a blinding light. The light vanishes and she sees her arena in all its glory. It is simple yet complex. It is a small island surrounded by lava. And every so far apart in the lava stand ' laval guards' of the sort. To make sure no one leaves or gets in without Ariana's say so. But on the land itself is a small collection of trees, with branches galore. the tallest tree in the middle goes up to 45 stories high with human sized leaves and un-imaginable sized branches. But large enough to fight on.

Now starting near the trees weapons and items are scattered around., the more powerful weapons are harder to find. Like crossbows and large blades are harder to find. You might actually have to break some trees to find them all.

Ariana's first instinct is to get to the upper ground. So she runs as fast as she can and starts doing the 'Tarzan' -- jumping from branch to branch trying to get to the top.

[The Mathemagician]

Light of day dawned upon Scara Brae, bringing all its typical glory and vibrant colors and hues. For most observers, however, it was a particularly beautiful morning. One for the record books, they would agree afterwards. If there were record books for such things, at least. And they were right, for it was a day of exceptional beauty. There was one man, however, who did notice at all the gloy of the new dawn. He saw nothing of elegant rays of light shining across shimmering lakes; he saw nothing of the opening of flowers and the gradual evaporation of dew. He did not even to chance to glimpse a single ray of sunlight until much later that morning, and in such stressful circumstances that he could not have possibly been expected to remark upon its aesthetics, as you may see. This can partially be attributed to the man’s underground abode, but it can also perhaps be shown as a symptom of someone who notices very little about the world around him. Most of all, it was the symptom of a man who never really understood the artistry of nature.

That man was named Alphred Tillman, and he was scowling in his tiny stone apartment. The apartment was typical of the monks of the Dajas Pagoda. One could see cramped stone walls, a harsh wooden bunk, and as much decoration and personality as a blank sheet of paper. Living in those quarters for weeks, Alphred still had not managed to imprint his personality upon the room in the slightest. There was not even a single piece of paper or a painting glued to the wall, as some of the other guests of that place tended to do. Alphred was not one for frivolous decorations any more than he was one for beauteous dawns. Typically, even perhaps predictably for those few who knew him well, he was crouched over a tiny blue shimmering screen, scratching at its surface with his metal-tipped gloved fingers. The screen that floated right in the air a foot before him was exceedingly thin, and had a gossamer and ethereal appearance. Where his fingers marked, chicken-scratch markings and numbers stayed behind. This was his viewing screen, his work pad, and his storage device all rolled into one.

A polite cough from the stone doorway interrupted his work, however. Alphred looked up and saw one of the faceless, hooded Pagoda monks standing there.

“It is time.” The monk said, with far too much bravura than Alphred could handle. The Mathemagician sighed. Would these secretive creatures never grasp that their attempts at seriousness and grave portents always came off slightly more comical than impressive? Looking at the heavy muscles evident even under the loose robe, Alphred decided that he did not want to be the one to point this out.

“Errr, thank you.” he said mildly instead. It’s taken them long enough, eh! was his inner thought. Certainly it had been more than long enough. Hadn’t he been waiting for them to find a proper opponent for some time now? As soon as he left the City of Scara Brae he came here, in the hopes of advancing his research. He had been living in this blasted Pagoda basement for three and a half days now. Three days and two hours and…approximately 46 minutes to be accurate. Alphred liked accuracy.

The monk simply turned from the doorway and began to walk down the hall, and Alphred assumed that he was to follow him. Hastily, Alphred waved away his calculations screen with one gesture and followed the monk. He said nothing as the two walked down the stone underground hallways, thankful to the monk for the silence. Silence was another thing that Alphred enjoyed. Particularly at such a time when he was certain that sheer nervousness would threaten to consume his already quavering voice if he attempted to speak.

More than nervousness though, Alphred simply felt distaste. He hated fighting. He hated fighting more than perhaps anything else in the world. He thought it to be crude, unfortunate, and a primitive way to express emotions. Strange, then, that he was at the Dajas Pagoda, hall of warriors. Alphred, however, had a very unusual reason for being here. It helped his research.

He had noticed this trend time and again. There were two ways to reach genius, and therefore a breakthrough in his all-consuming study of Mathemagic. One was through coincidence and chance. He could blindly plow through with his labors until he chanced upon inspiration. The other way to discover inspiration, however, was through adrenaline. The rush, the excitement. Only in the heat of a battle did his mind truly operate at 100% capacity. Then he felt like a god, a god of Logic and Reasoning and all things Holy. It was at those times that Alphred came upon his real breakthroughs. Of course, it could be guessed that there was something of the adrenaline junkie in the mild mannered Mathemagician that he did not even admit to himself. The thrill of the forbidden perhaps was wrapped up in the violence and raw emotion of a battle for him. The veracity of that guess, however, we may never truly know. Likely enough it was some combination of both. Whatever the case, achieving the rank of Warrior was sure to get him much more of both opportunities for research and the thrills he may have craved.

Finally Alphred was interrupted from his reverie by the monk’s sudden stopping. Alphred very nearly walked in to the brown-clad fellow. They were now before a small wooden door of seemingly little style. This didn’t seem like the monks’ taste to Alphred. Could it truly be the entrance to one of their fabled arenas? With idle interest, Alphred noticed that they had come out of the underground and into a wood paneled section of the building. They must be above ground now.

“It’s kind of a new place.” came the deep voice from Alphred’s right, this time sounding slightly sheepish or embarrassed. Was that so? Perhaps that explained the small and unimpressive size of the door. “We haven’t prepared a nice doorway yet.

“Prepare your weapons.” the monk said. Alphred nearly laughed. Weapons? He supposed he did have one, if it could be called that.

Alphred made a quick, twisted hand gesture and his shimmering writing-screen appeared less than a foot in front of him. Alphred maneuvered it to a comfortable position through another handsign, and then nodded at the monk.

“Good Luck.” came the voice of Alphred’s brief guide. Alphred gulped as he entered the small wooden door. He would need it.

At first upon entering the arena, Alphred was simply buffeted by heat. His thin brown tunic and pants were made for warm weather, but not for this magnitude. Glancing around, Alphred realized the source. Lava. Real lava. There was a moat of it barely a few feet from it, and the reddish orangish liquid glowed with sheer heat. Standing in the lava were massive fifteen foot tall fiery monsters of death.

Oh. Suddenly Alphred felt very small. Very small indeed.

There was no way to go but forward now though. The door had closed behind him, in more ways than one. Taking a few deep breaths, Alphred stepped forward. His flimsy shoed crunched on charred black soil, where perhaps the lava had once spilled over. Looking ahead, he could see a forest of trees as gargantuan and ridiculous in size as the strange lava creatures. Once again fear gripped Alphred’s heart, as well as more than a small dose of perverse excitement. The screen followed in front of him as he walked now, it stood and moved parallel to his body where he could reach it at a moment’s notice.

Before he went any further into the arena, however, Alphred decided to make a few calculations. His gloves had small metal claws or studs at the end, and it was with these that Alphred wrote on the blue screen. He hastily wrote a few equations of the rudimentary future-prediction mathematics he called “Arithmancy.” He wasn’t terribly good at it, and he knew the math wasn’t designed for such a purpose, but perhaps he could at least intuit something about his opponent.

After a moment, Alphred decided that his opponent must be another magician. It was the only logical choice for the monks to make, wasn’t it? After all, to pair him with a warrior…Alphred wouldn’t stand a chance. No, this would be a battle of magic and metal prowess. Alphred was sure of it. Well, almost sure. How wrong he was though.

Walking towards the edge of the small forest, Alphred stared apprehensively at the large branches. Clearly they were meant to be a starting ground for some sort of battle in the air. Well, Alphred was not going for that! It would mean losing his connection with the ground. Losing his connection with the ground would mean losing his Earth magic, which was his primary line of defense. Except in an urgent circumstance, he would never climb those trees. Of course, if the loss if his magic wasn’t intimidating enough, the trees scared him a bit too. That, however, was an irrational thought and he chose to ignore it.

Cautiously, Alphred ducked behind one of the large trees and peered around its edge towards the direction he guessed his opponent would be coming from. The screen floated just in front of him. For now, Alphred did nothing. Perhaps he would notice his opponent first and get the element of surprise? He looked out from each side of the tree’s massive trunk, trying to get a perspective of any movement on the floor of the forest. There was, however, one major thing that Alphred neglected to do when looking out for his opponent.

He never thought to look to the sky.

[Ariana]

I stated the lava monsters stood 15 feet each at a 10 feet inbetween each of them. So can you fix that?

Ariana continued jumping from tree to tree till she got to the top of one of the trees. As she gets there she sits on the top indian style, her left leg bent with her right leg bent and on top of her left leg. Her sword across her lap still sheathed, her hair blowing in the wind. She saw in the distance the 15 foot tall guards all over. "Ok, take note of the guards." She veers right all the way around and counts at least 30 golems.

"Ok, 30 golems. Note to self stay away from them at all costs." Araina jokingly says to herself. As she is sitting there the wind picks up and the soot from the lava gets carried over from the lava and into the bush of trees. "Hmm so what next Pagoda? What are you gonna throw at me? A demonic angel who spews fire? Give me the freshest meat that has called this place home."

Just as she spoke of the 'fresh meat' the door opened and she leaned forward not being able to see if it was a man or woman.Either way she would come out on top, by her swords or by death by the arena. 'We have so many ways for them to die, we have lava, we have cutting the trees and getting smashed, we have falling from a tree.. But which to use on this person?' Ariana says to herself. The wind now chaing direction and power favors Ariana, it blows toward her opponent who has some kind of blue screen that follows him. "What the hell?" Ariana says says as she starts making her way down quietly and patiently.

Suddenly her head just about exploded with pain as she heard a very familiar voice speak 'Kill him and make it fast. You have no reason to dilly dally here Ariana.' With those words spoke the pain goes away and she looks to the sky and bows "Yes Master. It shall be done." So she sits perfectly still and watches as her opponent carefully make his way towards the bush.

As he enters the bush she speaks loud enough for her opponent to hear "So you are my opponent today? This should be easy. Get ready for the fight of your life today !"

[The Mathemagician]

Alphred was standing flat against the trunk of the large tree when he heard the voice emerge from above. At first he was simply shocked. He had been tricked! He, Alphred Tillman, Genius Mathemagician Extraordinaire, had not thought of the possibility of his opponent lying in wait above. Of course, there was no particular reason that the two contestants would have entered the arena at the same time, or from opposite directions. And there was no question that someone with more physical prowess than he could have climbed the trees. It only made sense! Slightly nerved by his own lapse in judgement, Alphred nonetheless made a second judgement when he heard the voice.

It was clearly the voice of a woman! Suddenly, a large portion of Alphred's nervousness vanished. For a brief moment he had feared that the monks had paired him against some gargantuan tree-climbing being of great physical strength. But a woman...ha! He felt slightly relieved. Alphred was not particularly misogynistic, but he felt fairly certain that he could beat any girl in a fight nonetheless. Even if her threatening words frightened him a little, his nerves were softened slightly. Still, something was not quite right. Being unable to see his opponent made him worry a bit. Still, she was a girl. how bad could it be! He was incredibly mistaken.

Despite his new confidence about his opponent, Alphred was no fool. It was time to take some precautions. He made one round rune on his screen with his right fingertip to activate his shield spell. Instantly, flecks of dirt and pebbles began to rise from the ground, starting to coalesce in a semi-circular shape by Alphred's right arm. He knew that the dirt-shield would take a minute or two to fully form and harden to its ultimate strength (comparable to bronze,) and so in the meantime he felt that a distraction may just be in order.

And we'll see if I can learn a little about my opponent as well, no? he said confidently inside his head. Alphred looked up towards the treetops where his unseen opponent was waiting. She was concealed by the giant branches and leaves, he guessed, although the voice certainly came in that direction.

"Errrm," he managed, at a loss for words. Suddenly fear clenched his innards like an iron clamp once more. Fear, not of physical dismemberment but of something that was a righteous plague all of its own. The fear of speaking to someone of the opposite gender. Alphred had never been adept at social situations in any case, but suddenly he felt it more acutely than ever. He began to sweat slightly. His voice quavered as he said, "Errrm. Well, uhhh." The clever retorts that had been floating through his head had all spontaneously dried up, leaving him cruelly in the middle of an ocean of despair without a thing to say. The first thing that he thought of he desperately grabbed on to, unaware of what he was saying until it spurted out.

"These are, uhhh, pretty big trees. Yeah." He said, awkwardly as a fin-less fish. For some reason, he felt rather desperate for the battle to begin at this point. It could not possibly be any worse than this hellish situation!

[Ariana]

Ariana smiled wide as she knew she had somewhat creeped her opponent out. She started to make her move again, this time being more careful, going away from him, but still towards the ground. Few moments pass of hoping from branch to branch she finally reaches the ground. She looks around and makes sure her opponent cannot see her.

Success. She had made it to the ground unseen. But for a second she thought he had seen her. She quietly unties her sword from her side and grabbed it with her right hand and started to make he way to her opponent quickly and quietly and carefully heads twoards her opponent and hopse to end this battle even before it starts.

She jumps from tree to tree, hiding behind the trunks so that her unnamed opponent can't see her now. she thinks it best to show that she is getting closer now so she speaks again. "Ahh yes, these trees are pretty big. So tell me your name mister. So that both of us know who we are fighting."

With that said Ariana junps behind another tree and slowly and quietly unsheaths her sword and gets ready to attack. She quietly leans against the tree and brings her head around and sees tiny specks of dirt and pebbles foating up toward his right arm.'Hmm so what is it you are doing my dear friend?' she says as the collection of dirt and pebbles gains more and more forming a shield. "Ahh a defensive shield I bet. So be it. I strike first" Ariana says as she leaps from behind the tree and charges her opponent sword now broken into two seperate blades for maximum usage.

[The Mathemagician]

The dirt shield was not quite completely coalesced when the woman attacked. When he saw her charging, oddly enough, his mind was not on the sword plunging towards him at that moment. He was not attempting to dodge, or block, or in fact do much of anything at all. Alphred was locked to the ground like a small animal caught in a bright light. However, while his body stopped, his mind never did. He was doing a mental calculation, trying to figure out the exact hardness of the shield. It had just about reached it's final circular form, yes, but at this point it must be as hard as...what? He didn't have time to figure it out in his head before he learned in a much more practical manner.

Luckily for Alphred, the two sword's attacks had not been directed at his throat, or chest, or any vulnerable place. It seemed, fortunately, that the woman had been attempting to bust the shield, and so she attacked the only guarded place in his body! Had the dirt been fully formed, perhaps things would have gone very well for Alphred in that circumstance. As it was, the dirt gave way easily to the two swords. Flecks of rocks flew off in every direction as the half-formed shield dissolved. The two sword blows was only slightly deflected by the dirt. Slowed only slightly, one blade ran down the length of Alphred's forearm, leaving a of long nasty red gash. The other blade cut at a forty-five degree angle to the first, making a twin cut on his arm. They were remarkably thin cuts, probably due to the sword's sharpness and the angle of the hit, as well as the deflection of the sword, but already they both were bleeding profusely. Alphred felt nauseous.

His shield gone and with no real way to retaliate, Alphred started to really get nervous. What had he been thinking when he entered the fight? This devil-woman was standing before him now, her lengthy double blade red with blood. He felt certain that she would kill him. And what could he really do to attack? He had assumed that he would be fighting a magician, not a warrior. What were the monks thinking? There was no hope of him defeating such an opponent, or at least there didn't seem like any. A battle of wits, well, perhaps he could have managed that. But swordplay? Alphred didn't even have a weapon! All he had was his tiny little ethereal screen, which seemed more pathetic than ever.

Sheer animal fear began to well up within him. He felt his instincts and his body being divided from his rational mind. Somewhere in his higher consciousness, calculations were being made. The numbers danced, and out of them at some point there might emerge a plan. For now though, an entirely different force was driving the actions of Alphred Tillman. Fight or flight. One clearly was not an option and so, like some sort of small rodent, Alphred took the second. His thought process was rather unusual.

If I take the unknowns of the arena and couple them in a differential graph...FEAR!...perhaps using ju jitsu, saw that performed...RUN! RUN! FEAR!...integral...FLEE! RUN! FEAR! RUN!...

Eventually, as if out of sheer annoyance, Alphred's higher mind simply forsook the battle for control of his body and left it to instinct.

Alphred ran away. He sprinted as quickly as he possibly could (not very quickly,) as far as he possibly could (not very far,) in the opposite direction from the predator-woman that he felt would haunt his nightmares from now on. Maybe other dreams too... another voice, deep inside thought too, that part managing to look at the woman from another animal perspective. In any case, for now, he simply ran. The lava approaching, he chose to duck into the forest, hoping to lose his pursuer within the trees. The small blue screen still followed him, maintaining its position of a foot or so ahead of him. The arm that had been cut still bled, and once again Alphred felt as though he was going to puke. That would have to be sealed up, and soon, or else he would pass out from blood loss. On some high, abstract level, he knew this. Alphred began to grab at his sleeve, trying to pull strips off for the purpose of wrapping around his arm. It was a tough material though, and he felt weak. The woman must be just behind him too. He didn't have a plan for what to do after that but...maybe he would figure something out. Not now though.

[Ariana]

Ariana's attack was successful. The shield was broke and debris flew everywhere. There was a plus to the assault. the attack left a gash on his arm that ran down the arm. Ariana smiled at this and brought her other sword in and cut along side the other gash. So there are now two fresh large gashes. Not deep but long. Ariana jumped abck as she left her marks and went to literally lick the blood off her blades. "Hmm tasty, the blood of the scared."

Ariana looks to her wounded opponent and smiles wide, teeth baring, fangs like a vampire exposed. She shivers and drops her swords and looks at him still "I'd run now if I were you" she says mockingly as she feels a strange feeling she ahs not felt in a long time. The "Thirst" is near. As her opponent ran she just stood there and watched him run into the woods deeper and deeper.

"Little man, no matter where you go, no matter what you do, I'll always know where you are." She says as she looks to the ground and sees driplets of blood every so far apart. "For one, you are leaving me a trail." she says out loud as she follows it slowly and quietly leaving her swords behind. "Second, I'm part werewolf so I know your scent."
Moments pass and still she has not found her prey.

"Hmm an elusive one.. finally." is all she can think to herself for now. So what she does is she takes her nails and marks the trees she has been past to mark her pathway. So now she knows where she is and where she has been. But before she goes any further then the first tree marked, she goes back for her swords, making sure they don't leave her side again. "No one sees the thirst and lives.. no one has and no one ever will." Ariana says quietly sheathing her sword and tieing it back on her side and going back to the hunt for the wounded man.

"You are a lucky man, no one normally lasts this long with me. So shall you be remembered in my life." She says one last time heading into the bush, and into the darkness which she calls home.

[The Mathemagician]

How long could this game of cat and mouse last? To Alphred, every second was an eternity. Every second held more life and more vigour and more being than ever before. Every single second was a precious gift. Stress heightened his nerves, his senses, his awareness. Never had he been so deeply enmeshed in the now. It was a beautiful and terrifying feeling. It was not a feeling usually experienced by accountants. Perhaps, he thought, there were some benefits to being an adventurer after all. He sat down with his back to a large tree and tried to breathe deeply. A large knot bulged into his back in between his shoulder-blades uncomfortably, but he had other things to worry about

Finally the fabric gave way and he managed to rip off a strip of cloth off his tunic. He inexpertly wrapped the strip around his arm a few times and tied it. It covered up all but the edges of the gash. There. The pain still was a serious problem, but at least he wasn't bleeding so much any more. And that meant he wasn't leaving a trail, another plus. Hopefully that meant the woman would find him less easily. Had he been there to hear her comments about her werewolf heritage perhaps he would have been a bit less confident. Still, things did it least appear to be looking up a little bit. He was still going to die, of course, but at least he wouldn't be a bloody mess when that happened! Or at least until that happened. Alphred had heard of the incredible healing powers of the monks though, so perhaps death was not so certain. Of course, he wasn't entirely clear as to how they could heat a stab to the heart or a chopped off head...but never mind those thought! It was best to keep his mind on the task at hand.

Hmmm. The task at hand. He didn't want that woman to find him, that was for certain. Or at least, he didn't want her to find him before he knew where she was. But how? He knew nothing about tracking. If he just wandered randomly around the forest, likely as not he would end up walking right onto the wrong end of a sword. Not that there was a right end of a sword, in his opinion. So walking around was out.

Or was it? Alphred looked at the trail of blood that lead to where he sat and scratched his chin. It was a fairly obvious trail. Anyone could use it to find him...unless he wasn't at its end. If going forward wasn't an option, what about going backwards? Alphred retraced his steps once more, trying to leave no trace that he had passed through twice. He walked backwards but constantly swiveled his head in no direction, trying to leave no chance of being surprised. After about ten feet, he stopped and looked up. There, the trees! He had told himself that he wouldn't do this, because of his loss of connection to the earth. Because that spell had been so effective! Alphred nearly laughed. He began to climb one of the large trees, hoisting himself up awkwardly by one arm. the arm with the gash on it, he quickly found, was utterly useless. Any attempt at exertion with it started a river of so much pain he wanted to puke. Luckily, however, these trees seemed to be made for easy climbing. There was even a small branch big enough for him to lever his foot onto, allowing him almost to step up higher. After a bit of struggling, he miraculously managed to pull himself up to the branch. But his task wasn't over yet. Using roots as footholds, Alphred scrambled up to the second massive branch. Now he looked down and saw that he was nearly fifteen feet up the tree. He fell flat onto the branch and gripped onto it like a koala bear, his arms and legs hugging it tightly. Alphred hadn't known that he was afraid of heights until he looked down. It had been a very shocking and unpleasant realization. Back in the city of Scara Brae he had never really climbed a tree before. He hadn't lead a very active life as the son of an accountant. Now, however, he discovered that was probably a good thing. Oh, the things that you learn when you travel!

Still though. Hopefully this little scheme would be sufficient to trick the woman. She could follow his trail of blood all the way to the end, but he wouldn't be there! He would be here, looking down on the middle of the trail. He waited for her to pass beneath him and prayed to every deity he had ever heard of that she would not look up.

[Ariana]

Ariana's eyes kept to the ground as she followed the trail of blood all over the bush. Walking left and right marking trees as she goes taking note of where she is going trying not to get anywhere anytime soon. As she walks she also keeps her nose on her opponents scent. A musky, sweaty, rank odor that stood out like a cat in a group of Rotweilers.

The blood leads her in many directions, so many ways she loses track of how to get back to the front. As she ventures that scent gets stronger. "Hmm that bastard is close. But where? The blood don't go any further really. Where are you now mister? I have a present for you." She says as she grips her sword and brings it out unsheathed and still got the blood on it and goes to lick it again. "Hmm tasty. Where are you my precious? Come out to play-ay. I'm waiting for you to make a move now." Ariana says as she slowly vanishes behind a tree waiting and listening for him to make his move.

As she moves behind the tree she sheaths one of her two blades and sits patiently waiting on him to move in the wrong direction. It would be his last and final mistake of the day. When she gets behind the tree she sits again, indian style, this time left leg over right. sheathed sword at her side, while the unsheathed one sits on her lep, hands folded on the blade so it will be quick and easy when he loses a ligament this time. She smiled at the thought and went to concentrate now.

[The Mathemagician]

Breathing was a danger. Alphred knew this as soon as he heard the sounds of the warrior woman from outside of his field of vision. She was approaching. He sat curled up in a bundle upon the overlarge tree branch, hoping that it would conceal his position. Just barely he thought that he could hear her saying something. Had she noticed him? Yet imminent doom did not seem to be impending. She must have been talking to herself.

Ha! Alphred thought. Who does that? A crazy person, clearly.

It was only then that Alphred realized just how good his position was. Sure, he was sitting in a tree with a cut up arm and no chance of getting down. Sure, there was a psychopathic warrior woman hell bent on killing him beneath him. Sure, he was not armed and had no access to his only magic spell that could possibly be used in combat. But none of that mattered! You see, while he waited for the woman, Alphred's mind had been working. It had been working very fast on a plan which he decided would either get him impaled, or let him win the match, or possibly both. Alphred, however, was a desperate man. Desperate people do desperate things.

And a desperate move this was indeed. There was no doubt of the danger. So many things could go wrong. Alphred psyched himself up slowly and looked over the branch down below. There he saw that the woman was sitting cross-legged, one sword sheathed and the other sitting in her lap. She seemed to be completely unaware of her treetop watcher. What luck though! On a day where everything had gone wrong, one thing had gone right. The woman had sat beneath his tree, of all the choices in the forest. It was perfect.

Ever so slowly and cautiously, Alphred began to stand up. Careful to make no noise at all, Alphred managed to get on his two feet once more. He looked down on the unsuspecting woman below. Hopefully she wouldn't notice. Still, Alphred tried not to breathe too loudly. One of his feet shifted upon he branch and he inwardly cursed his infernal loudness. Everything about this plan was dependent on her remaining unaware of his presence. The longer he delayed, the more likely it was that he would be discovered. Okay, one more second. One more second. Okay, on the count of three. One...two...three... Alphred did nothing. Curse his cowardly ways. Fine. On the count of three, this time. One... Alphred took one breath in slowly and quietly. Two... Sweat glistened on his palms. THREE!

Alphred jumped. He pointed his feet straight down at the head of his opponent, keeping his arms close to his body, and he used himself as a human projectile. Falling from fifteen feet was dangerous, he knew, especially with locked knees. Unless he had something to cushion his fall...

The head of the warrior woman!

[Ariana]

Ariana knew what was going on all along. As the man made his move, Ariana grabbed her unsheathed sword and quickly got up sheathed sword in her right hand and unsheathed in her left as she spins around and quickly brings the sword around to meet his knee, more precise, the back of his knee.

Ariana then brought her sheathed sword around and went in for this crazy man's back, hopefully knocking the wind out of him. Long enough for her to add his head to her collection.

Even though she is fast, she did not escape unscratched. As he came down, he knocked a tooth out of her beautiful jaw. One of her fangs to be exact.

This pisses her off so as soon as he hits the ground she brings the same blade that went for his knee up to his neck. "Now please, die and stop being such a nuisance to me. My Master told me to hurry so I am." she says as she brings her blade ever closer to his neck.

[The Mathemagician]

Everything appeared to go perfectly. Everything appeared to go perfectly. As the disaster happened, everything seemed to slow down to expose every terrible detail, one at a time. It was not until he was halfway into the fall that Alphred realized that something had gone terribly, terribly wrong. She had known! How...how...how had she known? There was no time for Alphred to speak though. She had known enough, not just to dodge, but also to stand up and retaliate as he fell! What's more, she was able to move incredibly fast and hit him twice on the way down or his short fall: in the stomach and the backs of his knees. The sheathed sword hit first, slicing his hamstrings in half. Pain. He could feel the tendons snap, cut in two, and fly back like enormous rubber bands, and he knew he would not be able to walk again on those legs. From that point on, everything he saw was in a daze of excruciating, awful, terrible agony. That sort of thing...was not meant to happen to him! It was meant to happen to soldiers on the battlefield, to warriors, not to mathematicians...! It...couldn't be. It would not be long before he passed out, he knew that somewhere in the back of his mind. His arm was know the least of his pains. Idly, he barely even noticed as the sheathed sword jammed into his gut, knocking his breath out. The momentum of his own fall, coupled with that blow...Alphred thought perhaps he heard a rib or two crack.

Despite all this, Alphred did get one tiny moment of satisfaction as he fell.He did at least manage to hit her, however pathetically. He felt his shoes make contact with her jaw, making a loud crunching noise. Had her jaw broken? Was a tooth cracked? He would never find out.

Alphred continued to fall the rest of the way, blackness already covering the edge of his vision. He fell sprawled on the ground, the sword blows having broken his fall in a most unpleasant way. His boy was twisted in unnatural directions, his hamstrings bled small pools amid the soft green leaves of the ground, his face was marred by a terrific grimace of agony. He barely understood the woman's words as they came out. Once he had processed them, he laughed silently.

"That...won't be...necessary. Don't worry, I'll...die. I'm always most..." Alphred said. Oddly enough, his voice was more confident than it ever had been before. His sentence was cut off though as he began to cough up blood. It gagged his throat and began to suffocate him, and he had to turn his head to the side and spit it up. He turned back and faced the woman, barely noticing the blade that was dangerously close to his throat. Dangerously! Nothing was dangerous to Alphred any more. What more could she possibly do?

"...polite." Alphred finished the sentence. And, staying true to his word, Alphred Tillman, Mathemagician, passed out completely.

Alphred is now passed out. End of thread. Now submitting for judging. Thank you!

[Christoph]

Sorry for the wait, guys. I'll get right into the judgment.


Ariana:

Continuity: 3
Your character’s reasons for going to the Pagoda weren’t fleshed out very well at all, but I can assume that they involved the typical “fighting to get stronger” shtick. Your opening really didn’t help weave a good story, unfortunately, and the ending just dropped off with nothing.

Setting: 5
This actually wasn’t bad. I certainly didn’t feel immersed in the setting, but you did interact with it. You’re heading in the right direction with setting, and I think it will score even higher once you work out your other stylistic problems.

Pacing: 5
The battle didn’t seem to flow very well, especially at the beginning. The introduction didn’t transition very well into the battle. Once it got started, it wasn’t too bad, though.

Action: 4
I don’t have a lot to say on Action, aside from that yours weren’t very imaginative. Your tendency to use present tense didn’t help, either. Often, it sounded more like a beginner roleplayer sitting at a table and describing his character’s actions to the GM, as opposed to a writer narrating a character’s actions with written word.

Dialogue: 2
The only word I can use here is ‘corny’. The dialogue was almost endearing in its cheesiness at times, but on the whole really didn’t help portray a well-thought out character. It mainly consisted of a lot of cliché one-liners pasted together. Very little came off as genuine, but that might have just been a side-effect of the character’s actual personality (more on that later.

Persona: 2
Bluntly put, I wasn’t impressed. Your character showed little depth and felt very fake. I’d go as far as saying she was a serious Mary-Sue – a super-sexy badass woman without any real flaws or weaknesses, at least, none that were portrayed in this battle. I really couldn’t feel for Ariana at all, unfortunately. I would suggest that you really get into this character and flesh out what her strengths and weaknesses are and what she’s really like inside. Make her a real person.

Technique: 3
Your sentence and paragraph structures were rather clunky and repetitive. You had a tendency to start several consecutive sentences with the same word, such as “she”. Also, your style relied heavily on more modern and/or real-life turns of phrase and references, which aren’t appropriate when writing in a fantasy setting. (See Note Four for an example) Your narrative style was very sloppy and lacked polish. I don’t mean to be overly harsh; I merely hope that by pointing out these issues, I can help you be mindful of them in the future.

Mechanics: 3
While there weren’t too terribly many typos or spelling errors, it came off that you don’t adequately understand the fundamental rules of English grammar. Your tendency to shift from past to present tense often without any good reason got a bit annoying to read very fast. (See Note 1 for an example) Also, you often improperly modified verbs, leading to incorrect sentences. (See Note 2 for an example) In addition, you shifted into second person from third person (see Note 3). Second person isn’t typically used effectively in fiction writing, and even so you should pick one point of view and stick with it.

Clarity: 5
Aside from the issues expressed in technique and mechanics, you did all right here. That said, those issues still really hurts the overall clarity of the writing. On the whole, though, I was able to figure out what you were trying to do.

Wildcard: 5
You’re clearly motivated to write, and I like that. With plenty of practice, I think you could get pretty good. Don’t let these numbers damper your spirits. Just take everything I and other judges say into account and really work at developing your style.

Total: 37



Mathemagician:

Continuity: 7
You had a unique reason for Alphred to be at the Pagoda, though I would have liked it better had you illustrated it more clearly and comprehensively. Still, kudos for giving a unique rational for battling. That aside, I would have liked at least a hair more background information on Alphred. Not too much; just a little, such as how he came to be in Scara Brae, or if he was native there. Little details like that give a story extra life. I also would have liked to have seem the ending fleshed out, but on the whole you did all right.

Pacing: 5
Same as above in regards to the overall flow. I did like how you played off of Ariana’s reference to the beautiful morning, putting your own spin on it. It gave the opening to the battle a nifty sense of duality, which made it easier to press onward as a reader. That also impacted your technique and persona a little.

Setting: 6
You described the setting fairly well. I actually felt more immersed in the environment while reading your posts. You also made sure that I didn’t forget the setting existed.

Action: 6
You did decently here. I like how you didn’t try to make Alphred badass or even competent. You stuck true to his character quite well, even at the expense of him getting chased around.

Dialogue: 5.5
I’d say you were about average in this category. The dialogue was pretty decent, but not too terribly impressive. I think you could work on really making your dialogue work with this character; he is the type whose manner of speech is likely to be very unique. I got a little of that, but I wanted more.

Persona: 7
You came out fairly strong in this category. I liked how you pointed out how Alphred didn’t notice the sunrise. It played nicely into his character. I also like how the language you used played into his personality (touched on again in Technique). Also, his nervousness when dealing with the opposite gender was amusing, if a bit corny. On the whole, I like that you made no attempt at portraying Alphred as anything more than a little wimp. You showed that not sll characters need to be brave warriors.

Technique: 6
Your first line was actually interesting in its intentionally-ironic sort of way. You could have followed up on that better in the paragraph that followed, but still, it wasn’t bad. You’re heading in the right direction, especially by bending the language to fit your character. All I could say in that regard is to try and polish up the style, so that it can sound advanced and intellectual without flowing poorly.

Your style is proficient on the whole, nothing too fancy but nothing terribly bad. You do have a tendency to overuse “was” as your primary verb in sentences. A piece of advice I’ll give is to avoid overusing “was” as the primary working verb in your sentences. Sometimes, ‘was’ serves as the most effective verb, but more often than not, a stronger and more specific verb could be used. When ‘was’ gets overused, it comes off to the reader that the author couldn’t think of the write words to use. Also, it can hurt the flow of the writing.

Mechanics: 7.5
I didn’t spot too many problems here. Some of it went hand-in-hand with the Technique comments. Other than that, just watch your wordings and run a fine comb through your posts and you could be looking at 9’s and 10’s in this category.

Clarity: 8
As a consequence of the somewhat over-acedemic and often repetitive style of writing, I rarely had any trouble figuring out what was going on, so that’s always good. Once you get better, you’ll be able to do this more efficiently, though.

Wildcard: 7
You had guts for going to battle with a character so unsuited for it.


Total: 65!


Mathemagician is the winner!

Mathemagician receives 550 EXP, 150 GP, and a Warrior slot in the Pagoda
Ariana receives 150 EXP





1.) “One for the record books, they would agree afterwards. If there were record books for such things, at least.” – Fragmentation. Sentence fragments can be used stylistically from time to time, but it just seemed clunky in this instance.

2.) “and in such stressful circumstances that he could not have possibly been expected to remark upon its aesthetics, as you may see.” – Avoid reverting to second-person language, as you did in the last part of this sentence.





1.) “The day was as beautiful as ever, the sun was shining, the wind has a nice calm breeze, the trees are swaying with the wind.” – tense issue.

2.) “Her pitch black ponytail blowing in the wind like crazy.” – This was an improper sentence, as “blowing” should have been “was blowing” or “blew”. Even then, it was sloppy and lackluster stylistically speaking. Describing it as blowing “like crazy” detracted from the sophistication of the writing in that instance. It didn’t display a polished, professional writing style.

3.) “You'd do well to leave her alone or else you wont see the light of day.” – Point of view shift. Remember that you’re writing a story, not talking to a friend.

4.) “So she runs as fast as she can and starts doing the 'Tarzan' -- jumping from branch to branch trying to get to the top.” – Again, you used the wrong tense. Also, when you’re writing something set in a fantasy world, avoid using real-life references. Honestly, that would have been a bit of a cheesy reference in any setting, regardless.

[Taskmienster]

Exp and Gp added