The Knight of Doom. (solo)

[Rahegalhoff]

Night had fallen in Fallien. A chill wind blew across the sands, freezing a man and his wife to the bone. On the run from the guards, they had snuck out of the outlander’s quarters, unable to get a pass. The man was dressed in leather armor, a sword at his side, a shield on his back, his white hair and grey eyes searching the dark for a friend.
Beside him, his wife stayed as close as she could, to share the body heat between them. Her white and gold colored skin reflected beautifully in the moonlight.

They were searching for a city, hidden from the Jya and her people, lost in the great Fallien desert, said to be protected by a great sandstorm. A city built by monks of an obscure order. Neither traveler even knew the orders name. Only that they were to travel by night, and members of the order would guide them in their path.

A horse’s scream split the night, and the pair looked behind them in fear. Closing in on them were twenty mounted guards. The woman embraced the man out of fear. Before anyone knew it was coming, all was lost in a freak sandstorm. The pair could hear the guards all around them, calling out to each other, screaming and yelling, searching for them.

As suddenly as it came, the sandstorm left, and instead of being surrounded by Guards as they supposed, they were instead surrounded by statues of guards. A familiar face greeted the pair, rather, they thought he might be familiar, his face was hidden in the hood of his robe, pulled down over his face.

“Brother Ben!” the man shouted in relief, as he spotted the black robed monk leaning against a statue.

“It is a good thing I found you Sir Rahegalhoff, or your story would’ve ended very differently this night. I shall travel with you the rest of the way, as I should have from the beginning. Before the sun rises again, your eyes shall behold The Nameless City.” Ben said, his voice sounding almost jubilant.

“I’m beginning to think this is no mere order, to be so well hidden.” Rahegalhoff said his voice gruff.

On the three walked, over hills and valleys of sand, and true to Ben’s word, before the sun rose, the pair beheld the great nameless city as the sun’s first rays peaked over the horizon.

[Rahegalhoff]

As Rahegalhoff climbed the last sand dune, he had to pause and let and expel the sand from his nose and shake it out of his shirt, not that it did any good. For the city was protected by a fierce sandstorm, true to rumor. He moved on and crested the sand dune, and suddenly, the storm was gone, with utterly no trace of it ever having been there. He took a step back, and was again, lost in a sandstorm. He quickly returned to the top of the hill.

“It is neither an illusion, nor real. It is in truth, a distortion of reality. All our gathering places are protected such. If you look behind you, you see nothing but the Fallien desert, yet all who try to look upon the city see only a great and possibly insurmountable sandstorm.” Ben said by way of explanation.

Rahegalhoff nodded, understanding only that it was magic that protected the city.
He turned to look upon the city, and caught his breath in surprise. The city was, wrong, not wrong, unexpected. He suspected it was made of more magic, for he saw in the center of the city, a giant diamond composed of two pyramids, one inverted, resting only on its point, and the other resting on the base of the first. How it stood, Rahegalhoff could not understand. The Diamond structure, like everything in the city, was comprised of black sand, which had to be imported somehow, for Fallien was not a black sand desert. That, or there had to be some other suitable explanation.

Around the Diamond structure spun a great disk with a silver edge; it seemed to be generating energy, for great bolts of what Rahegalhoff thought were lightning periodically shot out from it in various directions.

Beyond that, was a great wall, twice a man’s height and equally wide. It ran all the way around the city, and had no discernable gates to enter the city. This did not seem to trouble Ben, who proceeded to walk towards the city.

As they neared the city, the entire sight changed before Rahegalhoff’s eyes, and he thought himself insane, for cities do not normally simply change appearance just by getting closer.

In the center remained the upright and proper pyramid, and around that the disk rotated still, but upon it stood obelisks, and it was from these that the energy came, the energy itself forming a second ring as it leaped from Obelisk to Obelisk, periodically shooting out in some random direction.

Beyond that were towers, and airy bridges, built at unnatural angles that could not possibly be supported by any known means. Even magic would run out eventually, and these structures appeared to be thousands of years old. The towers varied in height, and the bridges in length, forming a sort of network of paths as they intersected and crossed one another.

The towers were where the walls were supposed to be, and beyond them lay a great stone sphinx, its eyes perpetually gazing out over the Fallien desert, as though watching for unwelcome visitors.

They got closer still, and as they set foot upon the city, Rahegalhoff felt intimidated by the spectacle of it all. The power it must’ve taken to hold this city together was nothing short of god-like.

Dimly, Rahegalhoff realized the city changed color, no longer black stone made of sand, but white marble. Gone was the desert, and in it’s place a great field of grass. Water flowed along the cobblestone walkway they traveled, as the Sphinx’s great tail twitched idly in mid-air, as though it were alive.

They were watched by more monks dressed like Brother Ben, all in black robes tied with white rope belts, all with their hoods drawn over their faces. Though they all traveled on the same surface, some monks appeared to be going uphill, while others appeared to be going downhill, and Rahegalhoff realized they were going uphill as though up a steep mountain, yet appeared to be traveling on a perfectly flat and even surface.

Fear coursed through Rahegalhoff’s body. No mere insane wizard could have done this. He trembled to think at what sort of deity could have taken an interest in his future and what he would become. He chided himself for acting so foolish in the tavern, and not taking Ben seriously then. Further, he cursed himself for practically selling his soul to an unknown entity, and for what, a horse he could earn? Armor he could find in an abandoned ruin? Skills he could develop on his own? Were such things really worth all that he was? For some far-fetched notion that he could deliver justice where others could not?

He looked at Aspen, and remembered her as she was, when she was his wife Iola. He thought again of the black armored knight that changed his world forever, and the desire for revenge stirred in his heart again.

Yes, it was worth it, it was all worth it. Finally, the reached the door to the great pyramid.

[Rahegalhoff]

The great doors began to open, sliding upwards and protesting all the way, creaking with a great groan like some tortured creature.

Nervously, Rahegalhoff took Aspen’s hand and stepped inside. The inside was dimly illuminated, making everything seem bizarre and alien, as though it hadn’t come from Althanas at all, but was an imitation of that which would.

Hieroglyphics decorated the walls, moving and twisting, each telling their own story. Great columns ran from floor to ceiling, decorated by little channels and rivulets in which ran a stream of blood. The blood itself ran across the floor under glass, making it’s own patterns and glyphs, each pattern and glyph giving off power of it’s own.

In here Ben removed his hood, and like all the others, walked with his hood uncovered, and Rahegalhoff understood why they kept their heads covered in public. Though each monk’s appearance was just as bizarrely different from the others, it was Ben who made Rahegalhoff get a shiver down his spine. He had three eyes, none of them in the right spots, one where the nose should be, one in between the normal spots for an eye, and one in the forehead. Beneath those was his mouth, but it was on the right side of his head, and sideways. On the left, next to the bottom eye, was his nose, small and rounded. The other monks were just as bizarre, but made differently. Rahegalhoff couldn’t stand to look at them anymore.

“Behold the crimes the gods have perpetuated against us even before our birth. Behold the crimes mage kind has perpetuated against us in an attempt to fix our flaws. We have been wronged, who shall champion us?” Ben asked, noticing Rahegalhoff’s reaction to his face.

Before Rahegalhoff could answer, he turned and walked on through the temple.
Rahegalhoff followed, regretting his reaction.

The Temple was large, impossibly so. As he walked through hall after hall bearing statues of strange alien gods stretching to massive heights, he realized that they had to have walked the temple’s length four times over. But then considering the city changed its entire appearance as he approached, he wasn’t surprised.

“Who are these gods?” Rahegalhoff asked.

“These are the gods our lord and master finally brought justice to for the crimes they committed against their own creations.” Ben answered.

“Then why is this one blank, yet inscribed with a name?” Rahegalhoff asked, indicating a golden Pedestal higher than the others and enshrined in an alcove. It seemed significant, and was inscribed with the name “The Omni God.”

“Ahh, that one is for the greatest criminal of them all, The Omnisource. The Omni is the great criminal mastermind, all evil springs from him. He is known by many names in many places, and is said to exist everywhere at once. He works with Local gods in each universe, cooperating with them to gain their confidence, and then slowly he poisons them and converts them to evil, and makes them his worshipers, while converting mortals to his worship all along. He is our Master’s arch-nemesis, and has been actively pursued by us since the beginning.” Ben said.
“The beginning of what?” Rahegalhoff asked, curious.
“Of Everything; our master has been pursuing him since before time itself began. I cannot truly explain this to you, except to say that our master has been trying to bring justice to The Omni since before The Creation.” Ben said in explanation.
“I’m still lost.” Rahegalhoff said.
“I can’t help you find your way. You’ll have to accept it for now. The Dark Priestess is most skilled at explaining things.” Ben said.

They entered a great pair of doors, and walked on a velvet carpet in a room that had to be bigger than the entire world. Rahegalhoff stopped trying to understand how this could be. It felt like he had left Althanas entirely and was now somewhere else acting on its rules.

They approached a throne made of the pure dark essences of Night. There was not a single scrap of solid material in that throne, and from it radiated a darkness that consumed the light. On it sat an extremely beautiful woman. She seemed normal enough at first glance, being five foot five, with raven black hair and eyes, and a full figured curvy body. She wore a purple gown of sorts. That was what she looked like, but there was something about her that kept Rahegalhoff’s attention. He had no way of knowing, but he was caught in The Deadly Allure, an ability this woman possessed that attracted every sentient being to her.

She stood, and Rahegalhoff’s heart beat faster.
“Are you a Goddess?” he asked quietly.
To this the woman laughed and asked “Aren’t all women?”

[Rahegalhoff]

“Welcome Rahegalhoff, to The Void. It lies beyond Althanas and all it contains, yet acts upon its rules. I am Jiralyn, The Dark Priestess.” The woman said her voice soft and inviting. Rahegalhoff found himself fantasizing about being stranded on a deserted isle alone with her.

“Are you the one the wanted me?” Rahegalhoff asked, his voice strained.
“Yes, I want you.” Jiralyn replied, knowing full well what effect her words would have on him. He took a few steps closer, but was held back by Aspen.
“Why?” Aspen asked.
“A good question indeed, why? Why not? I know what he will become, driven by his hunger for revenge; he will dish it out as though it were justice. By the time he reaches that state, he will be uncontrollable, yet fiercly loyal to those he trusts. We wish to gain his trust, that he might be loyal to us, too, and assist us with the occasional task.” Jiralyn said.

“I’m nobodies’ mercenary.” Rahegalhoff stated, unable to take his eyes off Jiralyn.
“Of course not, but you would be willing to kill, wouldn’t you? What if someone was deserving of death. What if she had murdered another, would you be willing to kill her?” Jiralyn asked, brushing up against Rahegalhoff.
“If she deserved such a fate, yes.” Rahegalhoff said his voice hoarse and barely audible as he fought desperately to control himself.
“And what if she was innocent, would you then still be willing to kill her? For me?” Jiralyn asked.
“No.” Rahegalhoff said, his voice barely a whisper.
Jiralyn moved away.
“Of course, such excellent self-control, I would expect no less. But come, speak to my master, Kajeenith” Jiralyn said.

She clapped twice, and Rahegalhoff found himself all alone at the top of a great tower. Chains extended from it, going off a great unfathomable distance into what Rahegalhoff thought was a golden sunset. He looked over the side, and caught his breath in surprise. He could see Althanas. He saw the world and all its planes, all it’s dimensions and alternate realities. He saw all that was Althanas. Truly he understood now, that he was beyond his reality yet in a place that was acting according to its rules.

“Aspen? Where are you?” Rahegalhoff asked as he realized he was alone.
“She’s not here, she’s with my priestess.” A strange hollow voice said. It seemed cold and empty, and somewhat hollow.
“Are you Kajeenith?” Rahegalhoff asked.
“Yes, and you are Rahegalhoff. I admire your restraint. A lesser man would’ve flown into Jiralyn’s arms and taken her right then and there without caring who was watching.” Kajeenith said.
“She’s very attractive.” Rahegalhoff said, blushing.
“It’s a special power. People do stupid things when their attracted to somebody. But not you, you held back, you have an iron will not seen in many people. It’s a good thing too, because she eats her lovers. She’s a black widow, and I mean that literally. She is of a species known as Arachnian. In her true form, she is a giant spider, with the torso of a woman. Her spider body is Black Widow. Arachnians get their species based on childhood actions, and when she was but a child, her and a neighbor boy were playing together, and she bit him and drank a little of his blood. It turned her into a Black Widow, an outlaw Arachnian. Among her own kind, she is a criminal. Or she was. Her kind is no more; I was forced to destroy them.

See Rahegalhoff, I too am considered a criminal, so I take in my own kind. I am a criminal, because I want something better for everyone. I am Nothing, I do not exist. Many think that because something does not exist, it cannot effect them, but this is a fallacy. I am the great opposer, the dark mirror held up to reality. I am an outsider to all, and a friend to none. It is my great lamentation, I suppose, but I have come to accept it. But because of what I am, I am in a unique position, in that I can see the whole picture. Those who exist, they only see part of the picture. Some only see the big picture, others the small. I see both, thus I see everything. It is because of this, that I also see what is wrong. If you were to train an apprentice, you would point out his mistakes, that he might correct them, wouldn’t you?

Yet none wish to listen to the truth, they shield their ears from it and insist they do no wrong. I only desire to see the picture become perfect, to see the Apprentice create a masterpiece. This is why I am Criminal.

Yet, how far can I let a mistake go? How far can I let someone harm another without cause or reason? Consider, I once saw a little girl being punished for a simple mistake, her parents were beating her, and her village had exiled her. My heart went out to her, and in tears the little girl ran off into the mountains, banished from her own people, over a simple mistake. I followed her, hoping things would turn out better for her, but she was just a child, and unable to survive alone. So when she was starving, and dehydrated, I went to her on the brink of her death, and offered her salvation. She told me what she was, cringing, afraid I would harm her. But instead I only held her close, and told her I knew, and would forgive her as long as she tried to become better. She promised she would try, but was now the sort that hungered for the blood of others, and could not change that aspect of her.

I went to her people, and begged them to relent, to let her come home. They threw rocks at me, and said I was as bad as she was. I told them bad things would happen if they continued to be so cruel and unchanging. Things could be different, things could be better. Yet still they refused. I brought them back the little girl, and they tried to kill her, but I protected her, making her impervious to their hatred. I wept tears and begged them to at least try, and still they refused. So I was forced to allow them to be destroyed, and so young Jiralyn got all the blood she desired, expanding on to their meat before she was done. It took her all of her childhood to destroy her people for their crimes, and it caused her to become what she is now. She could’ve been different, if only they relented.

What about this world, and all it’s crimes Rahegalhoff, will it change, or will we destroy it together too?” Kajeenith asked, his voice filling Rahegalhoff’s mind.

[Rahegalhoff]

Rahegalhoff stood there in silence, confusion running rampant in his mind. The first question was on how there could be anything outside of Althanas. But the biggest questions were on Kajeenith’s story, and these he voiced.

“Wait, where did Jiralyn come from in the first place, I thought she was a N’jalian Spider-magi. Secondly, how is she able to look like a person? How did you try to get her people to relent and take her back? What about other widows did you help them? Is her nation still around?” Rahegalhoff asked.

“Fine questions, I assure you. For the first, let me explain about The Void. The Void is the bridge between all that is, and all that is not. It neither does, nor does not exist, it simply is. I am its master, and can not be contested for dominion over it. The Void exists outside of everything that does exist, and in between each grouping of Universes, planes, dimensions, realities, and Alternates there of. Each grouping is called a Metaverse. The one below us is the Althanian Metaverse, and this tower extends into its heart, the chain linking it off to the heart of The Void. You were not born there, in the Althanian Metaverse; you were born in another, though its name is sealed from my lips by the power beyond the fourth wall. Jiralyn came from the same Metaverse. I shall not answer anymore on this subject, for there are things you are not supposed to know, that I do, such as the fourth wall, and what lies behind it.

As for Jiralyn, she is a mistress of Illusion. The entire nameless city is an illusion, her illusion, wrought by her five minds working in unison. That is how she is able to look human, it is illusion. Yet, just like my first favored general, The Shadowlord, her illusions are so strong, that they cease to be illusions, and become real. Thus the change is absolute, she is half-elf human to the core. Yet she can cancel the illusion at anytime, and become what she really is, but her power is far deadlier then, than one might assume.

I spoke with her governments, suggested laws and bills, treatments and programs, but none were accepted. People make mistakes, especially children. It was still possible for her to become something more than Black Widow. But still they refused. I introduced religion as an answer, making her my chosen priestess, showering those of them that turned to me with favor beyond imagining, and those that did turn, were executed for heresy. Shortly, all religion was outlawed, not that their gods were anything more than made up stories. Finally, in an effort to get them to change, I spoke with the youth, and they rebelled, but their rebellion was eventually quenched.

I saw no alternative; her people refused to change, and so had to be made to pay for their crimes. So I swallowed her world into The Void, and there they linger in torments beyond the end of time.” Kajeenith said, answering Rahegalhoff’s questions.

Rahegalhoff clenched his fist in anger. It made him mad to think anyone could be so unyielding to change.
“It’s upsetting, I know, and I was tormented by my actions for a long time after that. I hate destroying, tearing down life, abolishing that which is beautiful, but I will if I must. Imperfection cannot be allowed to exist. You seem tired, rest now.” Kajeenith said, putting a hand on Rahegalhoff’s shoulder.

Everything went black, as Rahegalhoff felt himself falling to the ground, but instead of collapsing on the stone floor, he collapsed into a comfortable bed, and was asleep before his head even hit the pillow.

He dreamed he was wandering into darkness from the light. The light was calling to him, trying to get him to return, but he got lost in the darkness. A giant spider woman was chasing him, and caught him. She carried him off to her nest, and ate apart of him, replacing what she ate with darkness. Rahegalhoff tried to rise, but was too weak. The spider woman’s nest was so far in the darkness, that the light could no longer be seen.

Then he awoke, and found himself lying next to aspen, he clutched at him tightly.
“Let’s get out of here, this isn’t as it seems. You’re better than what their turning you into.” Aspen said crying.
“And what are they turning me into? They asked me a few questions, that is all.” Rahegalhoff said.
He got up and left Aspen in the bed, crying to herself.

After finding a satisfying breakfast of oatmeal, fruits, juices, and milk, he returned to once more visit with Jiralyn.

[Rahegalhoff]

“So you return, brave knight.” Jiralyn said, it was more of a statement, than a fact.
“Why can’t I feel my connection to Aspen in here?” Rahegalhoff asked. He noticed he could not sense Aspen’s connection at all, and oddly, felt no pain.
“Distance is meaningless in the void, for what truly exists between the two of you to mark distance? No matter how far apart you two become, you are still right next to each other? Distance does not exist in the void. You are before me, and your eyes tell you that you are but ten feet from my throne, but try to cross, and you’ll find yourself no closer, nor any further than you were before.” Jiralyn said.

“Kajeenith told me about your childhood, I’m sorry. No one should be outcast at such a young age. But he never did tell me if there were any other widows.” Rahegalhoff said.
“No, there were not. Widows are outcast into rocky wastes, and because they must feed on others to survive, quickly die. It was especially unpleasant for me, for winter was coming on. Under Kajeenith’s tender care, my hunger for others abated, and though I still have the body of a widow, I do not have to eat others to survive. Though I’m certain he told you I eat my Lovers, it is only when they are cruel and mistreat me that I do so, and then, only in self-defense. You wouldn’t be cruel to me, would you?” Jiralyn asked.

“No, but I have a wife, and so cannot and will not become your lover.” Rahegalhoff said.
“She doesn’t have to find out. I can will her to remain trapped in her room forever.” Jiralyn said, coming close to Rahegalhoff.
“True, but I would know.” Rahegalhoff said, stepping back a few paces.
“If I asked you to kill someone for me, would you?” Jiralyn asked.
“Only if she were guilty of a crime.” Rahegalhoff said.
“She? What makes you think it’s a woman?” Jiralyn asked, smiling.
“I, uh,…” Rahegalhoff stammered quickly trying to come up with an answer.
“In any case, Kajeenith wants to speak with you again.

Rahegalhoff found himself back atop the tower.

“So, have you decided if Althanas will change or not?” Kajeenith asked.
“I think we should give it a chance.” Rahegalhoff asked.
“Consider that once, I went to a reality where sentient life did not exist. It simply never developed. Neither gods, nor Mortals walked upon that place, all was wild an untamed. It was perfect. I left it as it was and went to another place, a giant city. Layer upon Layer of city, the population was measured in the hundreds of Billions, if not the trillions. Everyone was crunched together, everyone was unhappy. Everyone toiled endlessly, working their miserable lives to their meaningless end. I tried to help them gain some measure of happiness, but they stubbornly refused, saying I was an outsider, and did not understand. I left them to their devices, allowing them to toil in misery unending, the seemed to want it so.” Kajeenith said.

“So, between yesterday and today, what you’re saying as that change is impossible.” Rahegalhoff said.
“To the contrary, change is inevitable, even if only a hardening of one’s preconceived notions.” Kajeenith said.
“Then why ask if Althanas will change, if you already know it will?”
“Because I must; the real question is not, will it change, but will it change for the better?” Kajeenith asked Rahegalhoff.
“I certainly hope so; I don’t want to destroy my home.” Rahegalhoff said.
“Who does? You look weary, rest.” Kajeenith said, putting his hand on Rahegalhoff’s shoulder again. Once more he fell over, and fell asleep on a bed even before he completely hit the mattress.

[Rahegalhoff]

The nightmare repeated itself, with one slight variation, he was still in the nest of the giant spider. It hunted him down, and ate more of him, replacing what it ate with darkness. This time, it ended with the spider discarding Rahegalhoff from his nest, sending him to wander the darkness.

Once more, Rahegalhoff awoke, but now he found Aspen gone. He ran off looking for her. He found her in chains next to Jiralyn’s throne.

“She attacked me. She claimed I was perverting you. I have done no such thing. She will be held in chains for today, and tried tomorrow. Go speak with Kajeenith again.

Rahegalhoff turned around, already knowing he’d be back atop the tower.
“She’s sinned against me, you know. Just as the gods of this world have, she opposes me. I have heard these charges before. They claim I pervert and distort what the truth is. They claim I lie and fill others with hatred and darkness. Yet all I want to do is help, I want to create, and rise up, not destroy and tear down.

Let me tell you another story.

In the beginning, before time, before space, before light, before darkness, before anything, there was me. I was content, for I had perfection. Even a master can make a mistake, and my mistake fights me to this day, I allowed let the possibility of existence come into being, and because it was such a strong possibility, it happened. The Omni claims it created itself out of nothing, but don’t let him lie, I allowed the possibility to be. Without the possibility, the Omni never would’ve existed. I thought the Omni to be my grandest creation yet, but it spurned me, and opposed my friendly welcoming gesture, saying my actions were harming it. Yet the same can also be said, its actions were harming me. I offered a few peaceful suggestions, a few small changes, that we might stop accidentally harming each other, but the omni opposed them, saying they would do more harm than good.

Time and again, I’ve tried peacefully to offer a few simple suggestions that we might all peacefully coexist. Yet time and again, the native gods have resisted me, time and again I have been spurned. Now the Thayne, the originators of this world, they resist me, saying my efforts to bring perfection do them more harm than good. They hold me back, keeping me from making any changes myself as an example, and The Omni helps them.”

Rahegalhoff’s brow furrowed in anger and he snorted.
“What cruel monsters. Here someone’s trying to do good, and their holding it back. Can’t they see the way their world suffers?”

“At last, someone who truly understands my plight!” Kajeenith said, weeping with joy and embracing Rahegalhoff.
“Tell me; is there nothing to be done, no way to circumvent their powers?” Rahegalhoff asked.
“There is but one thing, one way to fix everything that’s gone wrong. I need a special something, that once it’s destroyed, The Omni will be destroyed, and because The Omni is destroyed, everything else falls, like a house of cards in a fell wind. Existence is impossible without The Omni, destroy the Omni, destroy Everything, without exception. But in order to destroy the Omni, I need that special something, but I know not where it is. It lies, somewhere, but I am incapable of finding it. I feel it’s echoes in Althanas, perhaps it lies hidden there, somewhere, but I cannot find it, for I am held back.” Kajeenith said.
“Then I shall find it for you; tell me, what is it?” Rahegalhoff asked.
“You’ll know it when you find it, but that is all I shall tell you, least it not truly be in this place. The fewer who know what IT is the better.” Kajeenith said.
“Then I shall leave after knowing my wife’s fate.” Rahegalhoff said.

“Of course, Sleep.” Kajeenith said, turning from Rahegalhoff.

“No, wait!” Rahegalhoff protested, but he fell over into a deep sleep again….

….and woke up in utter darkness.

He felt was way, feeling nothing. There was no up, no down, no left, no right. There was no light, no wind, and no air. There was nothing, pure and absolute. With it came a feeling of complete loneliness. He knew he was the only thing in this place, and no one was around to stave off the despair. The weight of lonliness and Despair, when they are the only two things that exist, are oppressive, and not even one with strength to rival a god can withstand it. He drifted through the darkness, unsure of he was walking or not.

[Rahegalhoff]

How long had he been here, a day, a month, a year? It was impossible to tell. The darkness was absolute and unchanging. There was no form of entertainment to be had to pass, or mark, the time.

His unanticipated solitude gave him time to think.

Aspen had claimed they were perverting him, corrupting his soul, but how could that be? Sure they were far more powerful than the simpletons he had imagined them to be, but they turned out to be pretty descent folk trying to do the right thing. The sort of people he could ally himself with. Yet still, Jiralyn’s accusations troubled him, he never thought Aspen capable of attacking anyone.

He wondered what sort of proof they had she had done something wrong. But then he thought about it. Aspen had seemed kind of edgy. She didn’t really seem to want to come here in the first place. An attack born out of desperation, designed to wear out their welcome, it did seem like something she would do.

“Aspen, what have you done?” Rahegalhoff asked the darkness.

Silence, loneliness, Despair, made all the worse by the decisions Rahegalhoff now faced.

He could not sit idly by in the struggle that was going on. He thought back on all that he had experienced, life on his farm, the joy and pride he felt in the birth of his son, the love he had for his wife, the pride in his championship quality farm animals, all good things. Wasn’t that worth saving? Wasn’t that worth fighting for?

No. It had left him naïve to the condition of the outside world. It was the outside world that was the problem. It was the black knight from the outside world that came and taught him the cold hard lesson in justice. The Black Knight that had awakened him to his own wrong doing. He thought back to the maze of mirrors at the Carnival of Lost souls, and how it had revealed that he was the black knight.

Yes, that had to be truth. He was that black knight, the one who came and delivered justice to an unjust man. He desperately wanted to be that black knight, to make him more than a memory. He wanted to bring justice to others, true justice. He had the means, if only he asked for it.

Rahegalhoff felt himself enter what felt to be the air. It was as though he had just surfaced from the bottom of the ocean. He breathed in deeply, the cool air feeling refreshing. He drifted along in the air, the loneliness and despair seemed to be lighter now.

He thought of his wife’s current situation. Should he try to save her and eschew the rules? Would that bring justice? His own wife had committed a crime, did she deserve special treatment? The Law was absolute, it had to be, or what use was it? If his worst enemy couldn’t be an exception, why then did she deserve an exception?
No, she would suffer, the same as anyone else. Absolute Law, absolute Justice, no matter what. Who then would deliver the Justice she so richly deserved?

But that question didn’t need to be asked, and as the light dawned, he felt the bed underneath him, and he realized he had been in his room all along, and not drifting in an infinite void of nothingness. He found some breakfast, and with a heavy, yet determined heart, he set forth for Jiralyn’s throne. He found Kajeenith there, Jiralyn kneeling at his feet.

“You’re just in time, Rahegalhoff, we’re about to try your wife.” Kajeenith said.
“I’m glad I didn’t miss her trial. My lord and savior, I humbly request that I be permitted to try my own wife for her sins, and if so deemed necessary, execute her myself. The Law is absolute, there can be no exceptions.” Rahegalhoff said.

“Then let it be so, and by her fate shall yours also be judged, as well as your faithfulness to my command. You yourself have called me your lord and Savior, as you have called me, so shall you be treated. The Law is absolute, there can be no exceptions.” Kajeenith said, smiling darkly.

[Rahegalhoff]

Aspen’s face brightened as she learned her own husband would be trying her. Surly of all people she could trust him. Yet the look on her face was not that of a loving man, but that of a man driven insane by dark lies and darker magic. She wept, for they had corrupted him beyond redemption.

Rahegalhoff felt a knot rising in his stomach. He would never understand why guilty women cried. Perhaps they were trying to break the judge’s heart, yes, that was it; she was trying to corrupt him.

“You will state your full name, and all previous names for the record.” Rahegalhoff said.
“Aspen Mesquchoku, formally, Iola Mesquchoku.” Aspen said, through her tears. She knew she was doomed, so she didn’t even try to resist their questions. She felt alone now, so terribly alone. Wasn’t there anyone who could save her?

Rahegalhoff smiled, she was broken. She would be easy to question. His faithfulness to save Althanas from itself would be proven.
“Then tell me everything you have done, since entering The Nameless City.” Rahegalhoff said.
“I, I have watched you become corrupted and a pawn of dark and sinister forces. I have tried to save you, by attacking those who sought to make you their own, and I have failed.” Aspen said.
“Then tell me why it is you felt it necessary to attack them, instead of inform me directly.” Rahegalhoff said.
“Because you didn’t believe me!” Aspen flared.
“Because you are a liar!” Rahegalhoff flared right back.
“Prove your words. What have they done to corrupt me?” Rahegalhoff challenged.
“They took you to their temple and placed you upon their alter, where they used dark and sinister magics upon you.” Aspen said hissed at him.
“Lies, I would remember.” Rahegalhoff said.
“No you wouldn’t, they used magic to erase your memory.” Aspen replied offhandedly she was going to die, she knew it. No use in fighting it.
“I have no reason to suspect that they would use magic on me, to pervert and corrupt me to their cause. I have chosen to join with them freely and of my own will, and no one else’s.
“That’s rich. You know what version of stories they told me? While you were being hand feed BS to make you feel like they only had your interests at heart, Jiralyn told me the truth. She didn’t accidentally bite anyone and drink their blood, Arachnians don’t change because of a single accident. She lured many young boys to her home, and drank their blood. First claiming it to be an accident, but the accidents grew more severe, and her parents couldn’t cover for her anymore, after she purposely, and knowingly took a man to her bed, and then when he was weakened after having sex, killed him and ate him. She intended to become a Black Widow from the start, for their powers are the strongest, and Black Widows cannot be controlled. That is why Black Widows are outlawed. Finally, when she had the courage to summon and join Kajeenith…” Aspen said, repeating what was infact the actual truth. But Rahegalhoff would have none of it.
“ENOUGH!” he bellowed.
“I will not listen to your lies any longer. That you have concocted this story does nothing to help you.” Rahegalhoff said.
“It’s the truth, have they blinded you to that as well?” Aspen shrieked.
“I can see you have nothing to say in your own defense. Very well then, I am forced to find you guilty of assault on an innocent woman who, to date, has done me no wrong. I am further forced to find you guilty of lying before the Judge, the Jury, and the Executioner. Finally, I am forced to find you guilty of the most heinous sin of all, supporting the criminals who call themselves gods. How DARE you stop the one entity trying to fix this flawed existence? For your crimes, you will be killed, and I shall do so myself.” Rahegalhoff thundered, anger blazing like fire in his eyes.

Aspen cried again, he was beyond hope, beyond redemption. His world view had been distorted, and it would only grow more crazed as time went on.
“Are you really going to kill your own wife? Your psychotic, and I hope someone stops you before you do something horrible to someone truly innocent!” Aspen shrieked yet again, struggling against her chains.

Rahegalhoff drew his sword, and with a single swift stroke, beheaded the only woman he had ever loved, finally making his decision as to what his future would hold, and it held fire and destruction, as the world was brought to justice for the crimes it had committed.

“The world has sinned, and it shall pay. With your power, and your blessing, I shall fall upon this world as a dreadful curse, and remove from it, any notion of hope, or innocence, for all have sinned and fall short of your glory, Almighty Kajeenith.” Rahegalhoff said, turning and kneeling before Kajeenith at his feet.

[Rahegalhoff]

“You have awakened my child, now lay claim to the glory that is your birthright. Know that I am Kajeenith, The End of All things, and that I shall never leave you. Rise, and from this day forth, forever be known as Sir Rahegalhoff, The Knight of Doom. May the term Doomknight be spoken with fear.” Kajeenith said, causing thunder to ripple throughout the region.

Rahegalhoff rose, he felt like a new man.

“Milord, if I might be so bold as to inquire, I’m not particularly intimidating or effective as I am now. Might I be provided with knowledge and skills to be particularly effective, and new weapons and armors to be intimidating? A horse would also aid in this.” Rahegalhoff said, bowing as he asked.

“Of course, we promised that such would be provided, and they shall be. Know that save for in your sleep last night, you never truly left Althanas, and dwelled in The Nameless City in Fallien the entire time. All that you saw was an illusion. Within this city, are the six legendary Haidian blacksmiths. They have watched, and observed. Now I summon them forth.” Kajeenith said, gesturing at a doorway.

Six Elves in black robes, their hoods obscuring their facial features entered the room.

“Greetings oh Knight of Doom. We have observed your descent into The Darkness, and born witness to the birth of a new knight. The Order has paid our fees, as far as we have allowed them too, and deem you worthy of a weapon and armor unlike any we have made before. In order to obtain them, you must obtain the materials yourself, and if you survive, we shall forge theme for you, without further request for payment.” One blacksmith said, stepping forward. He stepped back, and another stepped forward.

“First you must descend into the place deeper than Haidia, which is no more. You must go to the very depths of the Althanian Cosmology, and descend the infinite depths of The Abyss itself for the material we require.” He said, his voice no different than the first blackmsith’s, both voices sounding hollow, and false, echoing upon themselves.

“None have accomplished this feat and lived to tell the tale. Within the Abyss lies a place known as Pandemonium Fortress, and it is from this that you must obtain the legendary substance known as Pandemonium. Bring back as much as you can, and then some.” The third, identical sounding smith said.

The fourth stepped forward.
“Then we shall take The Pandemonium, and flee to Eternity’s forge, the Demi-plane between The Pyre, and The Containment, and the only place where their powers can unite. Upon Eternity’s forge, we shall take the issue of your loins, a new life not yet tainted by the imperfections of this world, and combine the newborn and the Pandemonium, and forge Innocence, a blade that shall become matched in all that it is, only by its welder. From the remaining Pandemonium, we shall take stock of one hundred souls, and forge for you a complete set of armor, and a shield, and barding for a mount when you obtain one.”

The fifth stepped forward, as the fourth stepped back.
“Beware, for these things shall feed on the souls of the living, and though yours has been devoured and replaced by Darkness, if the Pandemonium hungers for souls, it shall cause you to strike out at all around you, until it is satisfied.”

The Sixth stepped forward, as the fifth stepped back.
“Be not disheartened at this, for a powerful will can control The Pandemonium, even when it hungers, and bend it to any purpose. But know also, that Pandemonium, though Legendary, is only ever as strong, as the one who welds it.”

The Blacksmiths faded into the darkness and shadows.

“I almost regret killing aspen. Now I’ll have to find a woman willing to give me a child.” Rahegalhoff said, turning back to Kajeenith and Jiralyn.
“You don’t have to look too hard. I know what will become of it, but I shall give you a child. We can conceive it after you return.” She said, smiling at him.

“Well then, all that remains my knight is to send you on your way. I give you only the following. An Amulet with my seal upon it; from this shall spring all your power, as you gain my favor. Even now, your Multi-strike has been altered to be a distortion of reality, and not simple speed. I also give you only enough gold as you shall need to aid you along your way. Finally, I shall teleport you to The Abyss, to its barest beginning.” Kajeenith said. So saying, he clapped his hands, and Rahegalhoff disappeared.

Spoils:

The Amulet of Kajeenith:
A symbol of his new title and rank. This Amulet does not exist; it is a distortion and corruption of the fabric of reality, and nothing more. Though it appears to be made of Black Mythril inlaid with gold and rare gems, this is a false illusion, and nothing more. From this Rahegalhoff shall eventually gain power.
>>> The great Balance: One of the Amulet’s powers is to create the image of a great balance. It takes stock of a target or situation, and then shows what their/its balance is. This is no ordinary balance, for it is weighted six ways on one side, and has a black heavy orb on the other. This Balance represents to Rahegalhoff what the Law is, and being Lawful Evil, it determines in every situation to come, what his actions shall be. This is not a real balance, but merely an illusion, and it disappears after its task.

No more Aspen: So completely blinded to the truth by Kajeenith’s powers, Rahegalhoff has slain his own wife for imagined crimes, being more devoted to the law, real or imagined, than he was to his own wife.

[Taskmienster]

The Knight of Doom


STORY (12/30)

~ Continuity ~ 4
You didn’t really give me much background, or what was going on… nor what the purpose of things were, or how you got to where you did, or even what your goals were.

~ Setting ~ 4
Other than describing the very first reaction of the place you went to, the rest was confusing and off-setting. You didn’t really ‘use’ the setting so much as just ‘told me’ about it.

~ Pacing ~ 4
Seemed to jump right into the story, mostly felt like it was a little too fast because of how little of a background I got to begin with.



CHARACTER (16/30)

~ Dialogue ~ 5
You should really consider separating dialogue and paragraphs so that it’s much easier to read. Also, when writing really long dialogues, you should start the beginning of every continuous paragraph with quotations, but not end them with quotations.

~ Action~ 6

~ Persona ~ 5
Not a whole lot here, I got a good feel of what made him change, but not really what he was like before then. I thought there could have been more, but without the backstory it was hard to think or know why you acted the way you did prior to the story change.


WRITING STYLE (17/30)

~ Technique ~ 5
Not a whole lot, what you did have was well done. However, it felt like you could have had a lot more added in, helping a lot of categories, with technique instead of blocking together all the dialogue. You just went from “dialogue”, he said… but could have added in a lot in regards to setting and persona.

~ Mechanics ~ 6
I’m putting it here, since it feels more of a writing style/technique, but it’s a grammatical error in a way. You have a lot of run on sentences, multiple clauses (some independent and some dependent) which could be split easily by turning a few of those commas into periods and forming a new sentence. You don’t have to write long winded sentences, especially if they mess up the flow and clarity.

There are also numerous times when you split up what should have been a single paragraph.

~ Clarity ~ 6
Post 9 was especially confusing for the reason I put in the dialogue.


WILD CARD!!! 7
I liked what you were trying to do, and how much better it was written than anything else I’ve seen you write to this point. Keep it up, can’t wait to see how much more you can do in the future.



TOTAL

(52/100)


GAINS/REWARDS!

950 exp | 125 gp

Spoils approved on the grounds that it is illusional and therefore unsellable. Furthermore, the ‘balance’ of another person should be careful, and not used to metagame weaknesses.

[Taskmienster]

Exp and Gp added!