Stupid quotes...

[Falcon Darkflight]

And here's one direct from the Althanas user CP:



Please contact the Administrator if your date of birth has changed.

Feel free to add your own.

[Storm Veritas]

"There are no stupid questions."

Yeah, how about no? There are plenty of stupid questions. Sit at my desk for a day and see how many stupid questions come down the pipe. It's unbelievable!

[Serilliant]

And here's one direct from the Althanas user CP:
Fixed :)

[Falcon Darkflight]

Thanks :)

Storm, I know what you mean. I work in shipping, where people expect you to create miracles:

e.g:

Q: How much can we load in a trailer?
A: 60 cubic metres, roughly.
Q: Ok, can we book 67 cubic metres?
A: But it wont fit on the trailer...
Q: It will, you just have to push it in...

[Artifex Felicis]

At 10 AM
Q: "Can you guys get one last job after this? It's just an uncrate with two crates."
A: "Sure"

At 5 PM
Q: "Alright the jobs at such and such, and it'll be four crates to make, dissasembling a playground, desk, washer, dryer, and you have to move a Plasma TV"
A: ...

This has happened to me.

[grim137]

"There are no stupid questions."

Yeah, how about no? There are plenty of stupid questions. Sit at my desk for a day and see how many stupid questions come down the pipe. It's unbelievable!

Actually Storm that statement is true. Because as another statement goes "There are no stupid questions...Only stupid people".

[Vampiric Angel]

There's a large explosion on screen, followed by a mushroom cloud.
Mom: Is that from a nuclear bomb?
Me: -_-

[Scars]

Could've been a giant smoke-emitting mushroom that makes banging sounds.

[Reiko]

"can I get an Iced Capichino?"

answer: no

then there's

Joe takes a long sensual puff on his cigurette then speaks: "I love the Count" in reference to the counting vampire in Sesame Street, thus prompting everyone at the table to discuss the sexual lives of Mupets.

[streak101]

"Vote for me George Bush for President" lol

i just had to add that, i'm sorry.

P.S: I'm an independent.

[Komosatuo]

"In just two days, tomorrow will be yesterday..." -Unknown

"I never appoligize. I'm sorry, but that's just the way I am." -Homer Jay Simpson

"S.T.U.P.I.D. Smart Talented Unique Person In Demand." -Unknown

"If aliens are looking for intelligent life, THEN WHY THE HECK ARE YOU SCARED?" -Unknown

"It's better to keep your mouth shut and give the impression that you're stupid than to open it and remove all doubt." Ha! I needed that a long time ago.

[Vorin]

"Can jesus microwave a burrito so hot, that even he could not eat it?" = I need to stop hanging out with fucking stoners.

[grim137]

'I don't know that atheists should be considered as citizens, nor should they be considered patriots. This is one nation under God.'
- President George H. W. Bush

[streak101]

"That's a girl?" Said by my friend watching me play Paper Mario2

Answer: *smacks forehead*

[Ozmodious]

"If it weren't for my horse, I wouldn't have spent that year in college." - Lewis Black

[Dissinger]

From my own Repetoir:

Me: "At that rate the Lake would evaporate by the end of the week..."

~*~

Random Customer: "How much is that with tax?"

Me: "21.75"

Customer: "Is that before or after tax?"

~*~

Me answering the phone at Work: "Thank you for calling Games Workshop, this is Patrick how can I hurt you..."

Thank god no one was on the other side....

[streak101]

My brother while me and my dad worked our asses off: "Dad can you open this jar of salsa for me?"

Me and my dad answer: "...."

[Vorin]

*This was during that new Orbitz Gum comercial, with Snoop Dogg. If you've seen it, you'll know what I'm talking about. Read the tiny disclaimer.*

"Disclaimer: Orbizt Gum will not get you into heaven."

[The Name is Mudd]

"If it weren't for my horse, I wouldn't have spent that year in college." - Lewis Black

Ditto

[Damion Shargath]

From my own Repetoir:

Me answering the phone at Work: "Thank you for calling Games Workshop, this is Patrick how can I hurt you..."

Thank god no one was on the other side....

I would have answered, "Not with a normal bolter as I have armor 10 on front and rear - and armor 8 on both flanks."

Ayhow...

This is not meant offensive, but just two years ago I was seriously asked by a mid-western north american how it is under the reign of Hitler. Precise wording: "So...how is Hitler actually, as a head of state? Is he as bad as they say?"

I couldn't reply, I was shocked, startled, and in awe of his stupidity. Short background: I live in Germany.

[Calael]

I would have answered, "Not with a normal bolter as I have armor 10 on front and rear - and armor 8 on both flanks."

Ayhow...

This is not meant offensive, but just two years ago I was seriously asked by a mid-western north american how it is under the reign of Hitler. Precise wording: "So...how is Hitler actually, as a head of state? Is he as bad as they say?"

I couldn't reply, I was shocked, startled, and in awe of his stupidity. Short background: I live in Germany.

You win.

[streak101]

"I don't get what your saying dude! Malt drinks taste great!" -- My friend

Malts do not taste great, they are bitter and taste like vomit residue, they give alot of gas to people, and leave a bad after taste also tasting like vomit residue!

[Jasmine]

this isn't really stupid..just silly

my sister, singing: The itsy bitsy spider went up the water spout, down came the rain and washed the spider out. Out came the rain and dried up all the sun and the itsy bitsy spider went up the spout again

she was like 16

[streak101]

"go to bed it's 5 AM!" -my grandfather

"It's only midnight gramps!" -me

Later I find 12 bottles of Corona in his trashcan.

[The Bard]

me and my brother after we got done fighting

me: "Why you goin downstairs you little bitch!"

bro: "faget Im upstairs we have no downstairs retard!"

me: "Well you dont belive in god so your going downstairs!"

[streak101]

While playing SOCOM 3 online. *these people are not me*

"Fuck you!"

"Fuck you!"

"I'll fuck both of you if you give me your addresses..."

[Vampiric Angel]

A dumbass kid in school.
"So, the War of 1812 was when?"

[Damion Shargath]

A dumbass kid in school.
"So, the War of 1812 was when?"

Ouch...I'd have thrown my pen across the classroom.

[Zerith]

There was this one time in the states. Sure enough I met one stupid american. I couldn't help but play along with this.

American: "Hey, you're from Canada right."

Me: "Yeah. So?"

American: "And you know the Chicago bulls? Isn't that their logo?" *points to my hat.*

Me: *takes off hat and looks at it.* "Chicago? Bulls?"

American: "Yeah, y'know? The basketball team?"

Me: "Basketball team!? I thought this logo was for a hockey team in Edmonton!"

When I stopped talking to him. I convinced him that I did live in a igloo and I lost my pet beaver recently. I was so upset by it that I went snowshoeing after it with my pet wolf.

[Vorin]

That's nothing. Being the asshole american I am, I once convinced a kid that the reason beavers are on canadian currency are because a Beaver's your prime minister. He fell for it, and I was sad for the world.

[grim137]

Vorin how old was the kid?

[Vorin]

14-15. I was the same age at the time. He was a tad lacking in the swiftness department.

[Ürei]

Do not ask where these come from, and I am thanking the empyrium I didn't say any of these.

"Scientifically speaking, who do you think the tallest pirate is?" -The Pirates!

"Hi, How are you? Not bad? Good, I'm good too. Cya later." [Note, this was said to be in German while in Germany. I never responded, the man had a monologue]

For the German speakers, "Guten Tag, wie gehts? Nicht slecht? Gut, auch fuur mir. Bis spaeter." {I'ms too lazy to put in umlouts}

"It is raining because angel's are mad that you touch yourself."

[The Puppet]

Idiot "Can I get a strawberry milkshake with vanilla icecream?"

Marble Slab Worker "Sure, would you like strawberries in that?"

Idiot "No."

Marble Slab Worker "Then would you like strawberry sauce?"

Idiot "No."

Marble Slab Worker "I thought you said you wanted a strawberry milkshake with vanilla icecream."

Idiot "I did."

Marble Slab Worker "Well if I make a milkshake with vanilla icecream and no strawberries or strawberry sauce, it will be a vanilla shake."

Idiot "Ok I'll take that."

[Ürei]

"Yeah...I'm just going to keep my pants on" -My best friend IRL after prom.

"I used to be perfect, then I found out I was conceited. I fixed that and I'm perfect again."

[Serilliant]

me and my brother after we got done fighting

me: "Why you goin downstairs you little bitch!"

bro: "faget Im upstairs we have no downstairs retard!"

me: "Well you dont belive in god so your going downstairs!"
Faggot.

[Calael]

Dragonfly man, correcting his mistakes is as useful as trying to tell people who believe in ID that's it's ridiculous.

[streak101]

After my appendicytus(fek the spelling) i was in a hospital bed and my mother gave me a card from my classmates here are some samples from it.

"Get well soon! But not too soon!" - This girl in my class

"Hope your having a good time!" - My teacher!

"How does your appendix look like?" - My best friend

[grim137]

I just thought of a few stupid quotes I've heard.

"America doesn't even need a military because nobody ever tries to invade us." -some moron on a forum I used to go to

"Nobody shoots somebody in the face unless they are a hitman or a gamer." -Jack Thompson

"Christianity is a branch of Catholicism." -My younger step brother during a religious conversation I had between him and my younger biological brother

[Daggertail]

"Everyone has a right to their opinion, even if it's wrong." jerk 101 by my ex roommate

"I miss the good old days when we had Coups to fix bad countries" me

[The Puppet]

The Super "Hey can y'all put those curbs in right about there?"

Me "Sure."

Next Week

The Super "Hey can y'all move those curbs about 50 feet that way?"

(Guess who can't read a freakin' blue print.)

Same Super "Hey I got a leak can y'all fix it?"

Me "It the cracks in the brick not the roof. You will need to get the layers to fix that."

*Next Week*

Same Super "Hey the roof is leaking can you come fix it?"

Me "It the cracks in the brick not the roof. You will need to get the layers to fix that."

*Next Week*

Same Super "Hey the roof is leaking can you come fix it?"

Me "Go to hell!"

(I hate that Super.)

The Same Super "Hey that side wall is ready for y'all to hang."

Me "No it's not."

*Next Week*

The Same Super "Hey that side wall is ready for y'all to hang."

Me "No it's not."

The Same Super "Yes it is see that very small little bit there." (4 hour drive to roof to hang 5 feet of wall is a pain in the ass btw.)

*Next Week*

The Same Super "Hey that side wall is ready for y'all to hang."

Me "Where did the freakin' wall go!?"

*Next Week*

The Same Super "Hey when the **** are y'all going to finish that wall?"

Me "What the heck it is completely."

(The Super really can not read a blue print.)

[The Bard]

Faggot.

thank you dragonfly man, I never knew how you spelled it till now I always thought it had a 'E' instead of a 'GO'.

anywho

me: If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?

friend: ahhh...well

[Abbie]

My boss to one of my coworkers (who is going through a LOT of bad stuff right now): "Hey, did you know everyone in the office is talking about you behind your back?"

[Jasmine]

When I stopped talking to him. I convinced him that I did live in a igloo and I lost my pet beaver recently. I was so upset by it that I went snowshoeing after it with by pet wolf.

hehehe...that's so much fun to do...

[Ther]

And here's one direct from the Althanas user CP:



Feel free to add your own.

That is great. I wish I had seen this before it was changed...doh!

[Thoracis]

Paul Hackett last night on Colbert:

"He flew planes! What does John McCain know about a foxhole?"

Even Colbert looked shocked. Good luck getting elected to the Senate after that one, Hackett.

[Saxon]

"Put Milk on notice!" - Loud Audience Member. :D

I guess thats why the democratic party muscled Hackett out of any campaign elections anyway. :rolleyes:

[Jooty]

Has The Bus Come Yet? (Well if it had i wouldn't be here duhhh)

Do you want a slap? (Hmm Im not all into the gimp stuff)

[Lisean]

(Group of Lisean and friends OOC watch Zerith play Final Fantasy X, when the cinematic of Yuna/Tidus getting "intimate" underwater plays.)

Friend #1: You have to wonder how the hell they survive making out like that for so long.

Lisean: Well, they're giving each other air on top of kissing. Pretty damn good uses of romance, if I say so myself.

Zerith: Yeah, I can just see that now. Yuna's like "Tidus, I'm drowning!" and Tidus, being the blitzball player that's familiar with water comes to her rescue saying "Don't worry! I'll save you with my tongue!!"

(Zerith, Lisean, and Friend #1 break out into laughter. Friend #2 blinks and watches the cinematic in confusion.)

Friend #2: I don't get it.

(Zerith, Lisean, and Friend #1 laugh once again.)

~~~One year later~~~

(Lisean, Friend #1, and Friend #2 are sitting on a fence in their ghetto survey, bored out of their minds.)

Friend #1: We really need to come up with something to do.

Lisean: There's always the park.

Friend #1: No, I mean like something ELSE to do. Wanna go to the mall?

(Friend #2 suddenly laughs so hard, he falls off the fence.)

Lisean: What the hell did you smoke?

Friend #2: Guys, I get it!

Friend #1: ..get what?

Friend #2: The Tidus and Yuna thing! Y'know, "I'll save you with my tongue!" HA HA HA!

[Blue_Angel_eyes]

History class:

My teacher: Now, for the pathetic people in the room, what was the name between the spartans and the trojans?"
Idiot that sits in front of me: I KNOW! WORLD WAR 2!!!!
(He was serious too)

My teacher: And the spansish inquisition-
the same idiot: Wait, where was the held?

My teacher: The babylonians overtook the sumerians.
The same idiot: Why didn't the Sumerians just nuke them?

(Yeah... it was a long year)

Working at Gillette stadium:

Annoying lady one: I want a cheeseburger and ect. ect. ect. (five minutes later) Oh wait! And teh cheeseburger? I don't want any cheese on it. (Talk about having to re-ring an eight person order)

Annoying man: Where are the restrooms? (As he is standing under a large sign that say MEN'S ROOM with arrows pointing to it on both sides)

Annoying woman two: Do you have chicken nuggets?
Me: Yes.
Annoying woman: How about hamburgers?
Me: Yes.
Annoying woman: Double cheeseburgers?
Me: Yes.
Annoying woman: Oh... Well... I want a milk shake.
Me: We don't have those.
Annoying woman: Why not?
Me: Because we're a stadium McDonals, not a regulation McDonalds
Annoying woman: But it says McDonalds!
Me: Yes, ma'm.
Annoying woman (with a very confused face): So the sign's wrong? What are you? A burger king?

And although this isn't a stupid question but it was funny.

My friend Courtney was on register one winter Pats game and this drunk guy came over and started hitting on her. Five minutes in, he passed out on her counter, started drooling, and froze to it. Courtney waited patiently and seven or so minutes later the guy woke up, frozen to teh counter.

Drunk guy: wuzgoanon?
Courtney (as she is crouching down to his height): *smiles brightly* Hi! Can I help you?
Drunk Guy: wuzgoanon?!
Courtney: Oh, you passed out on my counter, drooled, and froze there. Don't worry, we're getting an ice pick to chip you off with. Would you like to buy some fries to eat while you wait? ^_^

I <3 that place.

[Lucien]

*points to signature*

Yeah folks, I really say it.