To get a grip.

[Runeologic]

Closed to Taskmienster

Sat in a throne amongst rubble inside a ruined castle, it was Zander's greatest desire. To see the fall of the one that had caused him pain, annoyance and suffering… but this was an impossible task as he was, He would need to be stronger, something he had never needed until he had died.

His icy vacant gaze watched the door in anticipation. It was sat at the end of a bridge over an endless cloudy sky opposite the ruined castle that sat atop a steep faced mountain with a direct path leading to him. A head on fight, the way of a knight .No surprise attacks, no advantages, just a test of skill.

Zander stood up, and walked towards the end of the bridge opposite the door, at the entrance of the castle. Raising his right arm out straight, his eyes shifted down to his back where his strange black sword lay in rest, it burst into a flurry of black lightning and wrapped around his hand, forming back into the cold blade. Zander closed his fingers and wrapped his hand around the blade, bringing his arm round in front of him and getting a grip of the handle loosely with his left hand, he was ready.

[Taskmienster]

In all this time, Colin felt like he was heading nowhere in life. Althanas was a virtual reality game he has spent far more time on than his relationship with his girlfriend or real life for that matter. It was technically work, but he played just as much in the leisure of his home as he did at work. He had to collect data though, continuously jot notes for the company he worked for so they could make their own version of the game. It felt futile though, as if the information about the site that his company did not already know was endless. He leaned back in his worn, old leather couch and stared at the ceiling. There were only a few things on his mind, the constant three things, beer, hookah, and Althanas.

“What are you up to love?” The voice of his girlfriend caught him off guard, his eyes barely closed and sweet orange flavored smoke slipped from his mouth. He looked at her and sat up, smiling at how beautiful he was and how lucky he seemed to be. The slim girl adjusted her thin glasses, finishing a text message before she continued. “They want to know if we want to go out tonight? I figured since it’s Friday, and we have nothing better to do, we might as well. No work in the morning, why not catch a movie and chill somewhere downtown?”

They… they always wanted to do something. Was it so wrong that he wanted little more than to be left in relative peace with his hookah, beer, and Althanas? Real life friends were not as amiable as those that could be found on Althanas. Those friends were easily manipulated; a sword swinging knight was a one tracked person with little drama related to his character. The virtual reality server was a better place than real life, there his ability with hacking was supreme and very few could rival what he could do.

“Where downtown? Nevermind, don’t worry about it. I know they’ll be at a hookah lounge or at a bar…” Colin sighed and closed his eyes as he listened to the hookah bubble. The sound was always so soothing, why would anyone want to leave it for a loud bar and drama? “I’m gonna log into Althy right quick. Tell them we’ll be there in a bit, that I need to get ready first. Everyone thinks I take hours to fix my hair and pick out clothes anyway…”

Brittany laughed and went back to her texts. It was true though, when he did care about going out it took a long time to get ready. Friends that knew him and Brit well would understand. Between him spiking his hair, a shower, and finding something to wear, she could finish just her eyeliner. The two of them were a schedule keeper’s nightmare. He took another deep inhale and put on the virtual reality headset that rested on the table. His character, Ethan “Lars” Calhoun was already wandering around the Citadel area. It wouldn’t be hard to throw himself into a quick virtual reality pvp match.

~*~

The setting was bland, a broken castle like building atop a lightly sloping hill with a rather wide moat circling the construct. He looked at the setting and sighed, perhaps his earlier thought about how simplistic a knight was on Althanas was still a lingering thought that had created the place. The castle was smooth, soft rock that looked as commonly gray as anyone could possibly think stone to be. The grass that surrounded it was a bright emerald, healthy and perfect. Ethan, the computer created character played by Colin, let out a sigh and shook his head. This was not exactly what he was expecting for his next Citadel fight.

Before him was a person, apparently a human male, but that sort of information was something that could not always be trusted when it came to Althanas. He, or more appropriately it was wearing armor and holding a large sword… but it was also wearing a skirt. The hacker sighed angrily at the prospect of fighting yet another girl, or another person that acted like a little bitch. He walked forward, the mechanical contraptions up either sleeve comfortably in place and waiting. Underfoot he could feel the soft dirt beneath his thin soled black converse; it was like walking on a very big cushioned bed.

“Yo,” he called out with a raised hand. “How you doing… insert gender word that fits here. The names Lars, don’t worry about real names or surnames, they don’t mean shit in the Citadel anyway. That’s an awfully nice castle you got there.”

[Runeologic]

“If it’s true that names don’t matter here then feel free to not call me anything, but if you must label me then call me ‘Zero.’” Zander had said looking towards his challenger, He wasn’t the kind of person that Zander came across often; he was dressed even stranger than he thought of himself. Zander lowered his sword to his side, unable to take his opponent seriously. In the mention of the castle, his head turned to look, his body turning slightly to aid, but he would not show his back. He liked this place, to be able to see that building in ruins was a glorious sight for him. “This castle is…a look into the future, the one I will destroy, after I destroy you that is.” Zander said cockily turning back and scanning his opponent once more with is glassy, lazy expression.

As a rule to himself, He would not make the first move… death was something that interested him, but he was never able to do it to himself. Although he stood with his blade by his side his body was ready to shift at any moment, his opponent was someone that looked…random and as such he expected his fighting style to be the same, unpredictable.

“Make the first move.” He said simply as he began to advance on his strange opponent, slowly and cautiously, as the light wind fluttered his scarf trailing behind him. He closed ground by crossing the bridge over the mote of crystal clear water. Eyes fixed on the stranger that referred to himself as ‘Lars.’

The bridge itself was made of solid stone, in the same shade of dull grey but engraved with intricate designs covered by fragments of stone, chipped from the castle walls that crunched underfoot as they ground into each other. With each step he took a new plan of attack entered his mind, thinking of any situation he could, ever since the night he died he has learnt to expect anything, people can change in an instant into something completely different.

[Taskmienster]

“Zero? Seriously?”

Ethan shook his head and sighed. It seemed that there was a recent influx of wannabe hero’s with silly names on Althanas. They plagued the cities of Scara Brae, the quiet Peaceful Promenade in Underwood, and more recently the Citadel. This was his stomping grounds though, his place to go for something to do, and they were all invading. Lars was disappointed with the man before him. He watched ‘Zero’ talk about destruction, about how he was going to break the castle in the future but concentrate on the hacker now. Scoffing, Lars shook his arms and let the faux-leather jacket’s sleeves remain loose enough to access his blades whenever they would become necessary. Instead of taking the bait so haphazardly tossed out by his young opponent, he let his hands stroke the white, fake fur that lined his open coat.

“First move?” Lars spat back in a tone so thick with cockiness that it was almost an emotion that could have its own word created to explain it. He pushed an empty hand through his unnaturally spiked hair, the opposite hand slipping into a back pocket of his tight pants. His nonchalant appearance was, in reality, just as he felt. He was in the Citadel, in a place of war and death that so many flocked to. To Ethan though, it was just another day at the office, so to speak. Any opponent he faced almost always offered something completely new to experience, and the man before him would undoubtedly be the same. “What is this? Final Fantasy? We don’t do turn based attacks, and people don’t tell me what to fucking do.”

The hacker shook his head and kicked a small block of stone. The castle’s ruined face was spread throughout the unmaintained grass, from the stone pathway his opponent crossed all the way down the gentle slope to his feet. The small edged stone rolled away further down the slope and away from the two men. Instead of watching it roll further he waited for his opponent to come closer, he had no will to attack first, especially against a sword wielder. His heels dug into the soft loam, an advantageous foundation for any sudden bursts of speed he would need.

“Come on then. Let’s get this on the way; I’ve got a club to hit up and a girlfriend waiting.”

[Runeologic]

Zander had stopped about 3 meters from his opponent and smiled “Are you some sort of idiot, you clearly don’t seem to know anything and you sound insane. I mean, what is final fantasy, some sort of book?” he asked, but in all honesty not caring, with the intention to continue. “I assume you have some sort of mental deficiency if you cannot work out the reasoning behind my name, Zero is nothing… I’m sure you even understand that. However despite being nothing, it still has a form and it still exists. Like myself.” His smile turned to a grin as his eyes opened fully, he liked this opponent, he was…interesting.

“You know, if you have other arrangements you can always forfeit and offer me the victory like a coward, not all problems need to be solved by violence… but if you are going to fight, I suggest you attack first because I don’t intend on giving you the chance to strike again afterwards… don’t worry, I have all day so I will wait for you to walk away like a coward, or you can take my offer and attack.” Zander continued in his speech, beginning to feel superior to the up till now, dull witted and strange tongued opponent. Although he offered him the first attack, he was not saying he would take the blow; he still griped his blade tightly and was ready to shift his position as needed.

He looked across to his rival, only able to make level eye contact by being on higher ground with the slope. He suddenly looked down, at his hand, lifting it slightly, looking at it as if it was much more interesting than his opponent, he then yawned to show that he wasn’t going anywhere, he had all the time in the world. After a nice stretch he looked in his opponent’s general area but found it dull to look at the man standing there. “Have you made up your mind yet?” he asked in a sarcastic voice.

[Taskmienster]

Ethan removed a cigarette from a pocket on his jacket, popping it between his lips before lighting the end in a flash of movement. The flame from the zippo lighter wavered in the slight breeze, but the small ember remained firmly attached. The sweet release of nicotine, even if it was only a feel given by the computer coding, made him smile slowly. He let the smoke release slowly from his mouth and nose, the gray tendrils dancing and twirling with every gust. The man before him continued to ramble, speaking with the intelligence of a child. Of course, to the hacker, he seemed like one anyway. A mere five foot four inches, and dressed in a skirt; he seemed far more bark than bite.

Instead of replying to the obvious attempt to anger him, Lars simply shook his harms and prepared for a fight. The talking had gone on long enough; he knew whoever would be watching the fight was undoubtedly getting aggravated at the lack of action. He popped his upper neck with a roll of his shoulders and leaned down. At his feet were more broken blocks from the ruined castle, each one shattered off from what seemed to be a blow of a weapon more than magic. In his left hand he picked one up, tossing it up and down like a baseball.

“Sure thing,” he responded as he let the rock bounce up and down. He had made up his mind, that much was certain. From his right sleeve one of the plain steel daggers fell to his palm, the rounded handle fitting perfectly and remaining concealed. The mechanical arm that held his blades was a marvel to the Althanas community, and almost always offered him a distinct advantage for the first strike. In a flurry of sudden movement he threw the small stone towards one side of his opponent, hoping to force him to dodge the opposite way.

The codes that he had changed on his own body, those regarding strength and speed, allowed him double what anyone normally had his size. He could throw a rock faster and harder than anyone else, and at such close range with his opponent he was accurate with it. As soon as the rock was loosed he cart wheeled his opposite arm and threw the dagger at Zero, aiming towards the opposite side of the stone. If the man dodged the stone, which would probably hurt just as much as any dagger, he would find himself confronted with a blade.

[Runeologic]

Zander wasn’t watching the rock being thrown up and down he knew his opponent was going to throw it, it was likely a distraction but it was always possible for the opponent to magically charge it or to throw it incredibly accurate or hard, it didn’t really matter, and at any cost he would have to dodge it. As soon as the rock was released from his opponents hand Zander dropped to the floor, Moving his head to the right slightly the rock scraped past his face, graze his face in several places deep enough to bleed.

Staying low and stepping forward with as much haste as he could manage he stopped in front of his opponent and all in one movement placed his other hand firmly on the handle of his sword and brought the blade up in a diagonal arc heading through his opponent. His scarf and skirt turned after his body, flowing behind him as his body twisted around.

[Taskmienster]

The skirt of the man danced as he dashed forward, it was almost cute in the way it moved. The child was little more than a prancing warrior, bedecked in armor that was probably little more than a show. He was slow in his movements, too slow for Ethan to think twice about. The physical augmentations that he had, thanks to the codes that he had for quite some times known how to manipulate, gave him the edge in strength and speed. With a sudden movement the boy was nearly on top of him, his hand gripping the handle of the sword. Lars knew what was coming, it was obvious.

Every novice warrior looked for that quick swipe and kill, but the hacker was easily more experienced than his opponent. He avoided the sword with a steady shift of his weight and a solid push away from his position. The unyielding weapon swept through the open air and made Lars smile, knowing that he could easily frustrate his opponent with his movements. There were bounds to his speed, but those were always able to be slowly made less pertinent.

“Hah, child,” the hacker taunted, he drew another blade from up either sleeve and spun them. The plain steel handles came to his palms, his forefinger and thumb pinching the smooth grips easily. Both blades were held at the ready, to be thrown or used as defense. The smile slipped to a sly grin when he dipped low, bending his knees to half his size. If another slash was brought to bear he could release the tensed muscles and leap away like a spring. “You seem to enjoy yourself when you fight. You have a lot of bark… I wish you had more bite to back it up. Otherwise this might be worth my time.”

He could smell the fresh scent of the healthy grass and the tickle of the dust that lifted from the ground around him. Zero might have had delusions of grandeur that made him believe he would one day destroy a castle alone, but the broken façade reminded the hacker of something far more relevant. It was a physical metaphor of his opponent. A cocksure face and seemingly strong outer level was nothing once it was put to the test. After being destroyed, all that would be left was the soft inside that could do nothing against the powerful enemy.


A comment about your last post, since I’m a mod/admin first and a roleplayer second… try not to ignore the fact that things happened in the post before yours. You seem to have read over the fact that I not only threw a rock to find which way your character would dodge too, but also threw a dagger to whichever way you moved. I also have increased speed and strength you have to take into account.

[Taskmienster]

Much like the other thread, this has been waiting a long time. Gonna go ahead and finish it out with one more post. Not sure if it’s going to be judged as a regular judgment or not since it’ll only be 9 posts, but whatev.

“No response?” Ethan laughed, indignantly. He was a god in a world of mortals, a snake cornering a pinky and ready to lunge. There was nothing left but to finish the battle the way he had started, with plenty of guile and a tongue sharper than a double sided dagger. “Well then boyo, if that is what you are. Haven’t seen many men dressed in skirts, but to each their own I suppose. How about I finish this in just one move? Would that make your illusions of one day destroying a castle shatter, when you can’t even finish just one defender?”

The hacker’s hands clenched tightly, balled fists around steel handles. He turned the blades away from each other and smashed the butts of his closed hands together. A surge of power was instantly released. Throughout the burst of sonic waves echoed. Results were built on a show of force and a lack of fear, and Ethan had both in an amount that would shock even the greatest of heroes of Althanas. His wave of force was most powerful directly ahead of him, sending a powerful wave of painful and concentrated sound waves before him.

Lars rode the wake of his devastating attack. His feet dug into the soft soil, gathering more speed than was absolutely necessary. The cocksure young man was reeling, blood seeping from his ears as his eardrums shattered. In a powerful, wicked motion the hacker leapt and left the ground behind him. For a moment he felt like he was flying, letting the winds carry his lithe form across the grasslands. Gravity was a forgotten law, he felt like a hawk descending on an unaware hare.

A split second of recognition raced across the boy’s face, just before both daggers were plunged into his chest with the full weight of the hacker behind them. Lars planted both his feet on the opponents stomach, digging the daggers in deeper as his momentum spurred the boy towards the ground. Both hit the soft ground in a loud clatter of armor and miscellaneous weapons. When the ground grabbed the foe from the air Ethan pushed the steel blades to the hilt and then some. His hands were bloodied by the grotesque attack.

“Serves you right, talking so much and having nothing to back up those words.” Ethan pushed away from the fallen foe, his heels digging into the side of lump flesh much like they had soft loam. The body rolled down the small hill and he just watched, shaking his head and rising. After clearing the blades of any sign of their bloody task he tucked them behind his studded belt. One hand pulled out a cigarette, the other a lighter. Before the doors that would return him to the Citadel’s main chambers reemerged he would have a smoke, remembering the poor sap who fancied himself a living legend in the making.

[Duffy]

To Get a Grip Judgement

Sorry for the delay, it’s been hectic. None to limited commentary requested, so I’ll make quick remark on key strength or weakness if required, Runeologic’s scores to the left, Taskmeinster’s to the right. If anyone has any questions, feel free to contact me via messenger or PM, I’ll be more than happy to help.

Story (12/19)

Continuity – 4/6

Setting – 3/8 little or no comment on the setting, whilst Task brings it to life with personal effects and vivid description.

Pacing – 5/5

Character (14/19)

Dialogue – (5/4) whilst Task’s dialogue is clearly more technically apt, the real world persona of his character slips through too strongly. This has been highlighted before, and although it gives you a very high persona score, it could be remedied by keeping Ethan’s thoughts in his own dialect, and start to make at least some effort to ‘blend in.’

Action – 4/7

Persona – 5/8 I like both personas presented, but Task’s is more formulated and concrete, more tangible. Rune, if you wish to improve in this department, enhance your character’s dialogue with more personal inflections and think about his origins and reasons for being in the citadel, bring those into speech, setting and action; personify your internal struggle. If he’s cold and angry, comment on his breath streaming into the air between breaths, or his goose bumps or a shudder.

Writing (11/20)

Technique – 4/7 not too flowery, not too basic from Task.

Mechanics – 4/7 several formatting errors in Logic’s posts, mostly concerning dialogue.


Zander had stopped about 3 meters from his opponent and smiled “Are you some sort of idiot, you clearly don’t seem to know anything and you sound insane. I mean, what is final fantasy, some sort of book?” he asked, but in all honesty not caring, with the intention to continue. “I assume you have some sort of mental deficiency if you cannot work out the reasoning behind my name, Zero is nothing… I’m sure you even understand that. However despite being nothing, it still has a form and it still exists. Like myself.”

Use of numerical in fantasy speech is also a mechanical error, and you’ve got compound sentences and long sentences in one block of speech; use a mix of colons, semi-colons and simple, abrupt sentences to measure pace. On the other hand, ‘Like Myself,’ is an excellent line.

Clarity – 3/6


Sat in a throne amongst rubble inside a ruined castle, it was Zander's greatest desire. To see the fall of the one that had caused him pain, annoyance and suffering… but this was an impossible task as he was, He would need to be stronger, something he had never needed until he had died.

You establish a good tone but the meaning is unclear. Sentence structure does not lend well to clarity at the best of times, but her clauses at the beginning are switched. It is a recurrent problem, so keep in mind that reason/clause should be before an action that dictates or explains.

Wildcard – 2/7

Please be more astute in the future Runeo, paying attention and living and breathing your opponent’s actions is the key to a successful battle, as if you respond to them fluidic ally and naturally, your pacing, clarity and action scores increase; definitely a firm foundation to build on here. Task, this is more concrete and adapt an effort from you with this character – definitely embrace the duality more but keep in mind the dialogue comment, your balance between description and action here is a pleasure to read.

Total: 39/65

Taskmeinster wins and receives 1650 xp and 250 gold.

Runeologic receives 225 xp and 39 gold.

[Taskmienster]

Exp and GP added.