To Prove Them All Wrong

[Kupo!]

The moogle walked into the citadel, determination upon his brow as he walked past the double cedar doors into his arena. The stage of battle was a simple four walled room with a single metal table and two wooden chairs. Upon the table was two glass cups and a single pitcher of water.

Duke was a moogle on a mission, a mission to prove his worth that he was the greatest Synthesizer in all of Althanas. Yet today wasn't about that. It was about proving them all wrong.

Behind the moogle was a harem of dolls, all arranged neatly into one row on the back wall of the arena. Tim, the smallest sheep like looking creature, was in front. He was Duke's best friend and followed him wherever he went offering his sage like wisdom. Next up was the little green guy, a cactus with legs and arms who shouted the word 'boi' a lot. And finally bringing up the rear was the creepy turtle guy, who wore dusty brown robes and carried a rusty knife.

Pouring water in one of the cups the moogle drank it, keeping one eye on the door.

"Today, I prove them all wrong..."

[Father Snew]

(Whats with all those words! This isn't what we agreed to! That was FAR too long to be a proper battle post my friend!)

Father Valentine Snew quickly processed behind the moogle, his steps quick and light. He was prepared to do battle in the most deadly of arenas. That of politics, and the hubris born of it. Moving to the chair he pulled it back and sat down properly folding his arms across each other upon the table.

Looking over at the Moogle he nodded firmly before he spoke, "I do say old bean, you are quite wrong. I felt War and Peace to be dreadfully boring and far too long. Don't you know, everything must be short crisp and to the point!"

[Kupo!]

The moogle's eyes raised in anger as he sipped his cup. "I do declare you fool, that you are wrong." The moogle sipped more water before continuing. "I hope yo realized that you can't just show up and kill people. Not without some reasoning behind it. Take that terribly offensive book about the stars and war? How many books must you read before you get to the real battle? Seven, twelve?" The moogle laughed as he looked at the priest.

"That reminds me of a time, long ago..."

[Father Snew]

Snew chortled before he shook his head, "You my friend are quite wrong. We all know that now a days no one cares about waiting, you must be upfront and personal. You have to strike in the first post otherwise it isn't a battle at all!"

He then grabbed a glass and poured himself some water, before sipping at it. He then looked at the moogle sternly, "Don't you know, a fight must have punches thrown and blades swung. Nothing can be a fight if there is no true fighting!"

(You misspelled "you" in your last post, feel free to fix that.)

[Kupo!]

Duke bid his time as he watched Snew drink from the glass, and just when he heard the smacking of lips and the pause that refreshes, his furry hand grabbed his own glass and splashed the water into the face of his foe.

"You rush into things, however, and you will never be able to get the reasons behind the why. Without reasoning than its no better than a childs book. Like 'See Dot Run', you dolt!" Duke glared at his foe as he leapt upon the table. "You just sit there, making witty quips and offering no reasons to your madness, but that doesn't win battles! No, not today. I plan to prove you wrong!" He shouted.

[Father Snew]

"It is not my fault you are highly immature and unable to discuss things civilly!" Father Snew roared back at the moogle. He grabbed a napkin off the table and began to dry his face of the offending water from his face. He then glared daggers at the moogle, "And if you continue to act as such, I will drop the entire debate and merely walk away."

He then stood and looked upon the moogle before he said, "So shall you grow up and debate in a mature fashion, or shall I be taking my leave?"

[Kupo!]

The moogle looked to the priest, his furious furry face fuming fire. He stalked up to the the taller human, flapped his wings and rose upwards into the air to Snew's face, and grabbed his monocle placing it upon his eye. Then, without so much as a hint of warning, he slapped Snew's face in rage.

"I declared a challenge you coward! Take up your gauntlet and hit me back if you dare!" Duke was not about to let Snew leave when the power of his victory was close at hand.

[Father Snew]

"I do say good sir! You have crossed the line of decency! While you may wear that monocle, you certainly act like a dandy! Are you truly so infantile as to think that your opinions mean anything! I am right, and you ware wrong, your infantile acts only prove it!" Snew countered back before he turned to walk out of the room. "Good day sir! May your children have kidney stones and your women be barren!"

He then firmly grasped the door knobs and prepared to open it. His priestly rage invoked by the moogle's casual demeanor.

[Kupo!]

"You jerk!" Duke shouted. "You haven't defended your point, you walk out on a fight, and you let your honor be stained. And seriously, why would I want kids? That's just money I don't have. And barren babes? Really? I can have that?" Duke thought about those words carefully. "Sweet! I can have sex with all the hot moogles and never get them pregnant. Your curse is awesome!"

Duke flew towards Snew and nodded to the dolls, and with a heavy breath Tim took in all his breath and exhaled a mighty snort of air towards the priest. Duke watched carefully the events unfolding as he played with his hands, rubbing them over and over.

"Good, Good," He muttered darkly. "Kupo."

[Father Snew]

The force of the wind caught him off guard as the winds pushed him upon the door knob. The force of the body slamming against the door was enough to shove the door knob deep into his guts and bring his intestines out all over the place. He cried out in shock as the ravenous doorknob immediately went for his crotch and he screamed out to the heavens for mercy.

Morale of the story? That Doorknob plays hard ball!

[Kupo!]

Duke looked to the dolls with a look of shock, and then suddenly scooped them all up in one arm running.

"JESUS TIM! WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO, KUPO!" Duke ran as fast as his tiny feet would let him.

"I just snorted him!" Tim replied, his tongue flailing in the wind.

"Ya, but," The moogle looked behind him as he still ran as fast as he could. "You killed him man!" Duke scolded his friend. He continued to run for eternity it seemed as he did so, his feet pounding the earth with each step.

Did Duke really prove them all wrong? Chances were he didn't. Come to think of it, he never explained why he was fighting in the first place. He cursed realzing that was his own undoing. He should have taken his own advice.

[Witchblade]

Seeing as how very little commentary was asked for, I’ll just make a few notes here before moving on to the judging. FUCKING BRILLIANT! Bwhahaha! His furious furry face fuming fire! I laughed my ass off. Cute battles guys and good job. There were slightly spelling errors, but who cares, because no one attacked each other in the first post. In fact, I think Kupo presented a much better argument than Snew did, he also defended himself much better and even clearly won, though he has to work on his temper and control his dolls. Snew, you need to work more on your character. He came across so boring throughout the whole damn thing and he barely even did anything. Try to beef up your action from now on and use more literary techniques to make your writing awesome.

Kupo, your scores are the first set. Snew, yours are the second.

Storyline

Continuity: 4 - 3

Setting: 6 - 3

Pacing: 5 - 5

Character

Dialogue: 8 - 8

Persona: 7 - 5

Action: 7 - 6

Writing Style

Mechanics: 5 - 5

Technique: 7 - 5

Clarity: 6 - 6

Wild Card: 9 - 9

Total:

Kupo – 64
Snew – 55

Kupo receives 600 experience and 200 GP!
Snew receives 200 experience and 200 GP!

[Atzar]

(Two years later...)

EXP/GP added!