Battle Scrolls 2. (Lorenor and Ailnea)

[Mutant_Lorenor]

(Continued from here (http://www.althanas.com/world/showthread.php?t=18907a). Ideally, I want it to become a series of interconnected battles. Thank you)

It was like being a rookie all over again.

Normally, he refused to use the Citadels' facilities knowing the secrets of the Monks and how they operated. Instead, he opted to fight outside of the Citadel in real-world scenarios. It was a strange sort of situation he found himself. On one side of the coin, he reaped the rewards of plans he'd set into motion years ago. On the other side of the coin there was no rest for the wicked. His heart was as wicked as they came, full of greed and ambition that would make even the most experienced Haidian demon blush. In a twist of fate, the mutant found himself depending on the Citadels' resources just to provide a safe haven. With the Knights of Dawn constantly hounding his every move, Lorenor needed to secure safe havens. And the Citadel was as secure as it could possibly be these days. The Knights of Dawn had no jurisdiction in the Citadel. However, that "green zone" mentality came at a price. The warriors of the Citadel could not intervene with the Empire's current plans.

With that in mind, the mutant found himself once again within the halls of the Citadel. He still was not certain what he was looking for anymore, but he was certain there was a purpose to his mad actions. Guiding his every decision was the dual nature of the Endless who were offspring of the dark lady herself, N'Jal. Lorenor, arguably N'Jal's most devout servant, carried the N'Jal Protocol within him. This made him an increasingly more dangerous villain. After that last battle, Lorenor felt a heavy weight in his heart. He felt misguided, and unsure of purpose. He knew what his orders from N'Jal were, but every time he executed them with precision, the mutant still felt empty inside. He'd developed a routine now. Salvar. Raiaera. Corone. Dheathain. Antioch. The mutant found himself traveling all over the world and dining in the riches of various cultures. However, that still didn't ease the emptiness in his black heart. No matter how many lovers he took to bed, or how much Raiaeran Wine he drank. Heart sinking deeper in depression, the mutant stared up at the halls of the Citadel.

Several soldiers belonging to the Knights of Dawn angrily stared at the mutant. Lorenor simply slyly grinned back at them and tossed a cleverly timed wink in their general direction. Seeing the angry faces was satisfaction enough. The Knights of Dawn were his most hated enemy, but The Citadel was neutral ground. Even the Knights came here to train against various opponents that were conjured by the Monks' infamous magics. The same Monk from before approached the mutant. "You're back Lorenor." The mutant sighed. He'd reproached the Monk before for saying his name out loud, but the Monk had made a valid point about that matter so the mutant decided it wise to let it go. Lorenor knew from past experience how the Monks operated. Conspiracy after conspiracy, and the Monks still operated with little to no oversight from the Empire at large. It was one of the last bastions of freedom left in the world. Anybody seeking refuge could make their ways to the Citadel. However, that sanctuary came at a price.

If this was your first time at the Citadel, you have to fight. These days, the mutant had learned it was wise to speak in the common-tongue, modern era. Old common-tongue was simply too restrictive a language and made it much too easy to identify the mutant. Not very many people spoke in the eloquent language anymore so the mutant decided to let that practice go. He'd made far too many enemies. They lurked at every shadow, every corner of the streets. Lorenor knew that one of them had a knife with his name on it ready to get stabbed in his spine. Speaking in the common-tongue didn't mean that one had to give up the eloquence that came with lordship. "I have returned, so it seems." The mutant took one last glance at the Knights of Dawn and noticed they were no longer there. Probably went off to scheme the mutant's downfall once more. "So those bastards took off?" Lorenor said calmly. "Perhaps. But they always have spies around. That is a well-known fact."

"Agreed."

"So what is your business today my little friend?"

"We are -not- allies." Lorenor started to say. "Make no mistake about that." The mutant looked at the Monk harshly. "If I catch wind that you are using tactical information gained in my battles against me or any of my opponents, you will deeply regret it. I will hunt you down for the rest of time." The Monk seemed deeply hurt. "My friend! How could you make such accusations out loud? The Monks would never dream of--" Lorenor raised a metallic fist. "Spare me." Lorenor stared coldly at the Monk for a brief moment, it was like staring daggers at the man's general direction. The Monk stared back with an equally dangerous and venomous expression. Lorenor never broke his stare, the Monk did and the mutant grinned at that. Looking away after a few moments passed, the mutant continued to stare at the Citadel's halls. "I am here for a reason, Monk." Lorenor began. "The Dark Lady states that there is someone I am supposed to do battle against. Someone who will become very important to the things that will come." Lorenor said calmly. This drew an interested expression on the Monk's face.

"Do you have a name sir?" The Monk asked.

"N'Jal whispers a name to me in the dark. The name is Ailnea." He wasn't sure of the pronunciation. Lorenor still had difficultly hearing the N'Jal Protocol at times. It was still a newly discovered power indeed. "We will be sure to send such an individual in your general direction my friend." There was that word again. "Tell him that he can establish the combat arena of choice. My only request is that he make it at night. Any other restrictions he chooses to establish will apply." Lorenor knew how the Monks functioned. With that stated, Lorenor walked in the general direction of the Citadel's front gates. He saw a the familiar Citadel markings on the ground and on the front wall of the structure. The mutant knew that this was the purest place left on Althanas. It was his destiny to make another structure, one devoted to the lady N'Jal. One that would be remembered always. And with that, Lorenor walked some ways into the labyrinthine structure of the Citadel and finally found an empty chamber. He stepped inside. An attendant Monk nodded in his general direction. "We have received word of what you want. Your opponent will be informed."

"Good. I shall be waiting then."

[Ailnea]

Ailnea nervously walked up the steps of the citadel. A week ago, Brother Onox sent a runner to her to inform her that she was needed back at the citadel for more training and instruction. It was okay, Akim was gone on a mission of some sort.

Akim, she didn’t know why the man hated her so much for things that weren’t her fault. Was it her fault her mother had a strange and unknown power that easily defeated the powers of the monks? Was it her fault their powers were somehow disappearing?

She passed the spot where Akim had tried to choke her to death with his own power, the power of the mind. Entering the Citadel, she was quickly approached by Brother Onox.
“Master!” she cried happily and rushed to his side.

“Initiate, there is one thing that must be done before you can train, a servant of the dark powers. Come with me, I shall send you to a place where night is eternal, where the cleansing rays of light cannot reach.” Brother Onox said.

Half an hour later, Brother Onox opened the room where Lorenor sat. It wasn’t often anyone was approached by The Grandmasters, the top level officials of The Citadel, but since Ailnea was his apprentice, he decided to escort the man to the arena himself. At seven feet tall and bulging with enough muscle to make most other fighters and barbarians look thin and wimpy, no one crossed Onox whether they were right-minded or not.
“Time, it is time.” He said, indicating it was time for the battle.

He lead Lorenor to a door that was different from all other doors. Infact every door in this place was different, and designed such, that only members of the order could open them.

“This arena is not an arena construct, but an actual place. We will be watching, we will be waiting for you to finish. Your request has been honored, for technically it is night, but that concept is utterly meaningless in this place where daylight is obscene and unheard of. Creatures darker than you dwell there but have been cleared away from the general area where you’ll end up, antagonize them at your own risk, their far stronger than you are, in the same way that the sun is far brighter than a campfire.” Onox said, opening the door to reveal a glowing white portal. He turned and disappeared on the spot, never once answering any questions.

The place beyond the portal appeared to be a gigantic cave of some sort. That is, for all of Lorenor’s abilities, he would be unable to see its end. There were no stars, no moon, no sun, yet the rocks themselves glowed with a green light of their own; strong enough to see things by soft enough that even vampires could withstand it without pain. No place on Althanas could be like this, yet Onox said this was an actual place. Stalactites hung from the ceiling, stalagmites rose up to meet them from the floor. Columns were interspersed among them.

Only one inhabitant of this strange place could be seen in the distance, a one hundred foot roach looking creature with close to sixty eyes across its back, a plethora of tentacles on its underbelly, and twice as many legs under the tentacles. It looked at Lorenor and used its supernatural power of fear on him to freeze him in place and started to run over to eat him, but a gigantic appendage that was simultaneously human hand, crab pincher, and demon claw reached out of the distance, grabbed the roach, and pulled it away. A high pitched scream of fear from the roach for its life reached Lorenor’s ears, followed by a sickening crunch, and wet chewing sound.

“Welcome to The Abyss, the very bottom of the Althanian Cosmology. We are very deep in The Abyss indeed, for quite technically, we stand on the wall, and if the rocks cease their glow, the enchantments allowing us to stand on it will cease, causing us to plummet to our doom. Infact, we are below Abys Symal, capital of the Abyssal Demons who rule the Abyss. We’re almost to the demi plane known only as The Bottom of The Abyss, where The Lord of The Abyss dwells, a demon god in league with the dark goddess N’jal, he is named Xith Rith Xail and is father to The Seven Deadly Sins. But enough about the Arena.” The young Aibrone Nun said.

Brother Onox had told her about this place, and she had repeated to Lorenor everything he had told her, except the part about antagonizing the locals.

“No, I am afraid I am here to inform you that there has been an unforeseen delay with your opponent.” The nun continued. Her robes were tossed to the side, and she removed her amulet. She wore a yellow blouse, and tan pants with lace up legs. She had on a common pair of shoes. It was loose enough to allow freedom of movement, yet tight enough to flatter her perfect figure. The green light made her blond hair seem green, and her blue eyes seem sea green.

“I got side tracked with taking in the sights of this strange an unholy place. I am Ailnea, and I know you, Lord Lorenor V’halkulus, Onox told me who I’d be fighting.”

The Aibrone Nun adopted a fighting stance and waited, smiling.

[Mutant_Lorenor]

I apologize for my delay. I forgot to subscribe to this thread thank you for reminding me about it.

Without so much as a word, a Monk of the Order lead Lorenor to combat arena. He was lead down a series of hallways that were foreign to him. Lorenor recalled why he despised the Citadel's facilities. They were a place where war was worshiped and as such, they fell directly under the jurisdiction of the Thayne known as Lord Draconus. One would assume that the Order of Ai'Bron followed the Dragon-like lord quite vehemently but that was not the case at all. Lorenor knew this to be true. There were sects that favored this or that deity, including many of the old Pagan Deities that were still worshiped in the backwater towns of Althanas. Some of these Pagan Deities were simple fertility deities that blessed crops or on the same token, cursed them with devastating blights when their offerings were not appeased. There were deities for war, love, marriage, medicine, and all the major characteristics of Althanas. Lorenor knew this because N'Jal knew this. N'Jal knew this because she was one of the Thaynes of the Thaynehood. The Dark Lady. The N'Jal Protocol.

By now, Lorenor carried N'Jal within his vessel. She added to his naturally produced plague. Indeed, Lorenor was one of N'Jal's missing children. A Spider Magi without a nest of his own. Walking alongside the Monk of the Order was a strange thing for the mutant. On the one hand, these were Monks that worshiped an evil far greater than that of N'Jal herself. They were rumored to worship an entity that even created the N'Jal Protocol in its current form. Lorenor would have been eager to meet such an entity and align himself to it. However, such an act would be a direct heresy to the N'Jal Protocol. So the mutant buried his blasphemous thoughts. He was, after all, the Paladin of N'Jal herself. Directly serving to bring about the second age of darkness and in league with the evil that rested in his very soul. Lorenor had yet to realize his true destiny. He looked at the Monk when they finally passed before a door that he had never seen before. The Monk did something strange with his hands and the door mechanism responded to the Monks' power. Lorenor sighed at that. Show off. He thought to himself. One day, Lorenor would be the master of such power.

The mutant entered the cavern and was immediately reminded of the depths of Haidia's caves. He heard a rumor once that the caverns of Haidia spread for all eternity, and sometimes reached places like this. Could Haidia somehow be connected? Lorenor heard the monks' pretty speech and decided it best to heed the man's warnings. After a long moment, and a failed attack from a huge organism that the mutant could not identify, Lorenor finally settled down. His senses adjusted to the absolute dark, and he could feel his powers growing by the second in this place. His heart raced as he stepped further into the dark place. Then, as he pondered moving deeper into the place the Monk introduced his opponent at long last. After waiting for what seemed to be an eternity. Lorenor turned towards the girl as she introduced herself. Nodding to the Initiate, the mutant kept a small smile on his face. 'Twas a hideous thing. Lorenor lowered her hood assuming that the girl was not afraid of the things in the dark.

There was something that the Monk had said. Xith Rith Xail. I will remember that name. Lorenor thought to himself. The only tell-tale sign that the mutant was even there at all was the glowing purple energy that flowed from his eye sockets. In the absolute dark, they made the mutant more of a supernatural presence than a human. Lorenor could feel the very vibration of the elemental dark around him, complementing his own elemental energy. An image flashed through his head. He remembered the time he fought that elemental wizard named Xos so many moons ago. The mutant shivered at that thought. Walking towards the girl, Lorenor bowed his head respectfully. "I thank you for showing me this place." The mutant began. "I know not why I am worthy to see such matters, for I am merely a servant of N'Jal." Lorenor bowed again to the girl. Though he was an ugly creature, he was not without his manners. He was a monster playing at being a nobleman. Monsters, regardless of what hides they wore, were still monsters. And Lorenor had yet to learn that truth.

It was going to cost him deeply in the future. Lorenor adapted a combat stance. "Let us move the pillars of the pyre. You can take the first strike, I shall allow you that honour."

[Ailnea]

Ailnea nodded, keeping the neutral unemotional face Aibrone monks were so well known for wearing.

Secretly she wished she had a mace or something, she wasn’t confident in her ability to take on a man she had been told was one of the favored servants of a goddess known for her ruthlessness and evil.

“If I die, your not going to sacrifice my soul on an alter or something, are you? I kind of need to keep it.” Ailnea said, looking about for signs of just such an artifact, her fear showing despite the demeanor of her face.

Yet she knew there was no way out. Unlike normal competitors in the citadel, Ailnea was forbidden from quitting a match for any reason, and Akim had been responsible for that little rule when she had her first mach at the tender age of ten. It was a training match against a young squire her own age. She was cut badly and bled to death. She had a feeling the same would happen here.

Knowing she really had no choice, regardless of how things turned out, she decided to stop wasting time, and rushed Lorenor, hoping a shoulder tackle would knock him off his feet, so she could quickly get him in a choke hold, and choke him to death.

[Mutant_Lorenor]

Abruptly starting, the battle was now officially underway. Lorenor could feel the living abyss all around him as it pulsed. His senses were alive with various stimuli that he would never have felt otherwise. The stimuli raced across his mind as various images touched upon it. Lorenor could see a plethora of images fading in and out of the dark. Some were living incarnations of the dark itself letting their tendrils reach out to the meager mutant. Able to see some hands in the distant portion of his sensory array, the mutant felt drawn to these espers and spirits. Creatures of the dark, and his name was on their lips. Hearing a vibration in the wind he could hear the creatures calling him in a symphony of madness. Lorenor did not need the lighting of the crystals and mushrooms to see. He could see in the dark naturally on his own. Feeling his sensory array vibrating against the dark, Lorenor had an awareness in this pitch black zone that he had never felt in the Overworld. Not even the caverns of Haidia boasted such a robust eco-system as this strange abyssian place.

Lorenor looked at the area around for a moment. All around, the living Dark had eyes that were peering back at him, analyzing his soul. There are creatures stronger than you here. Indeed. The mutant thought to himself. He kept an eye on the area where the entryway generally was thought to be. There could be no surrender, no retreat, and no giving up. Stuck in this realm, Lorenor did not sense an exit-door anywhere. He wasn't certain of his own capacity for survival, but he agreed to the conditions of the match. He heard her strange speech. Souls? Soul stealing? What is she talking about? He thought to himself as she began the battle FOR the mutant. Indeed, he had told her that she could begin the match. He was just surprised that she had attempted to rush him. How could one rush a pure melee fighter? Lorenor asked himself as she rushed the mutant. An expert melee warrior, the mutant had many tools at his disposal to overpower his opponent.

Absolutely relaxed, Lorenor assumed a simple combat position that wasn't a part of any specific fighting style. His hands were spread out at an even position across a forty five degree angle. Lorenor's legs were slightly bent at the knees and his back was perfectly straight. He kept his eyes upon his opponent. She suddenly lunged towards him. Deciding to give himself an immediate advantage, the mutant was knocked to the ground by her technique. It lacked a certain finesse, and lacked style. Lorenor was flung through the air by her form. Though he weighed two hundred pounds, it was hard not to react when someone flung their body into another individual. However, Lorenor knew how to take hits, with style. Off his feet and within extreme close combat range, the mutant knew he was in his basic element. Lorenor planned several moves ahead, including what she would attempt to do. He was in the Citadel to train his combat skills further and achieve new heights of melee skills. When Lorenor hung in the air he prepared his counter maneuver.

His steel-handed bracer stretched the digits out as if they were like sharp knives. Claws, the digits were prepared to follow Lorenor's every command. Knowing that her body was completely exposed to his counter-maneuver the mutant attacked. He attempted to rake his steel-bracer, the Aegis Bracer, down the side of her back. His claws were slicing at about a fifty degree angle, each finger arched for further damage. Lorenor was attempting to open her back. At the same time, he took his opposite hand and put all of his fingers together. He felt is sharp claws extending, and he attempted to quickly stab at her side using his clawed hand like a dagger of sorts. She wasn't wearing armor that he could see, so he was hoping for a successful hit of some sort. If he got first blood, then the rest of the match would largely fall in his favor. As Lorenor performed his counter strike, the mutant felt the ground rush up underneath him. He twisted his body, just so, so that his back would hit where the outfit he wore was slightly toughest and provide a buffer against his spinal column. It was a rough fall, a bruise developed, and he felt pain coursing through his body. Suddenly, she moved to choke him...

[Ailnea]

Ailnea felt the claws rake across her back, and cried out in unexpected pain. Everything slowed down as a memory of the past returned to her, this match was like another. Blow for blow, it seemed to be the same match all over again.

She was in a wooden area that time, and her opponent had been a young man that for reasons unclear, was half human half tiger, and wielded natural claws like weapons. He was quick and strong, one of Akim’s favorite students.

“You left yourself open to a counter, what is this some story where your opponent magically waits their turn to attack? Is the concept of a counter-attack some drunken bard’s notion? One attack should lead to another, as fluidly as water. Each movement should provide both an offensive and defensive stance; opposites, working together as one. Master this, master the art of war.” The young man said,

Out of the corner of her eye, she saw the tiger’s claws flying for her again, as though they were daggers. She quickly sidestepped, and shook her head. Volunra, the tiger-man, had never done that! Then she remembered the present.

One attack should lead to another, as fluidly as water, each movement should provide both an offensive, and defensive stance.

Grandmaster Akim, and Grandmaster Onox once had an interesting conversation, and it popped into her mind now. She had been sitting idly by, waiting for Onox.

“Physical might will never defeat the power of the mind. The body can only do so much, before sheer energy must take over.” Akim said, debating one style of fighting over another.

“Ahh, but the body is nothing more than stored energy, this has been proven on other worlds, and in other universes. Therefore with proper training, one can utilize this energy, some know this secret innately, and call it magic, others must research this secret for years, and they call it science. But all power stems from one place, the mind. Train the mind, train the body. With the proper training, a body can accomplish anything, Opposites, working together. Yet you have me on one point. If the mind is on a different track than the body, the body can never succeed.” Onox replied.

Opposites working together as one, master this, master the art of war.

Ailnea shook her head, it was true, she had been more concerned with her surroundings that with the battle. She focused her thoughts onto the battle, and waited for her opponent to rise. Something had visibly changed about her, she seemed more dangerous, yet all she did was focus her thoughts.

[Mutant_Lorenor]

With strips of flesh hanging from his claws, and blood dripping from his hands the mutant was knocked back several paces. Forward momentum caused him to move forward a few paces and away from the grip of the girl. His body was knocked head over feet as he rolled from the powerful forward dive. Pain soon followed as a close dance partner. Lorenor allowed himself a brief moment to cough against the ground beneath him. Dirt flowed from his face as he released whatever he'd swallowed in the blind fall forward. Lorenor rose for a moment feeling fire in his lungs. He wheezed for a few moments but was satisfied with the fact that he'd cut his opponent. "First blood."

The mutant said calmly as he lifted his hand up to show her her own blood. Her blood dripped upon the ground in this desolate place, accentuating the green glow in the air. Lorenor started to walk towards her as he sensed a sudden change within her. Utilizing his supernatural senses, the mutant felt something powerful emanating from the girl. Something dangerous that wasn't there before. He would have to be doubly careful from there on in. He'd gotten first blood, but he probably had to assume that any other hits would be pure luck from this point on.

In terms of power, the mutant could take her. But she was a fellow Monk of the Order, and he had some respect for her. Though Lorenor was barely an initiate in the Order, due to recent events, Lorenor understood some of their rules and their way of life. He was part of the group that dealt primarily with the following of N'Jal. In those regards, Lorenor was an expert in that matter since he carried the N'Jal Protocol within. Sensing the change within the girl was no idle matter.

Lorenor licked her blood off his hands. It had a particular taste to it. He liked it as it flowed warmly down his throat. Her blood served to warm him fully and re-energize him. There was a strange texture and flavor about her blood, she wasn't necessarily a normal Althanian human being. She was special. Lorenor felt the blood in his stomach and something interesting happened at that precise moment. He'd become hooked on the girl before him. As an addict, he naturally developed the desire to draw more blood and taste her flesh.

This made the ghoul exceedingly more dangerous than most opponents. Whereas most of the people who came through the Citadel's gates wanted to simply defeat their foes, Lorenor wanted to consume them, utterly. He'd covered the ground between his former position and the girl. Wearing a villainous grin on his face, the mutant prepared his next attack. "I will consume you!" He suddenly yelled and prepared a raking slash attack that would potentially go from her left shoulder downwards. It was an attack that moved at a forty-five degree angle. His form was flawless, and his thoughts were moving towards the next technique he would use on the already injured girl. He kept his eyes locked upon the blossoming heart within her chest. He wanted that heart. He would have it in his hands before this night was through.

[Ailnea]

Ailnea smiled at Lorenor as he stated his intention to eat her.

“You’re the first man to ever state his intent to eat me. I must apologize and inform you that you’re not my type. I just don’t go for evil men. Please don’t feel bad.” She said, thinking herself both witty and clever.

She wanted to run away and hide, and most opponents, told such an unnerving statement probably would, but Ailnea had watched plenty of battles where an opponent who did the opposite of what was expected of them managed to gain the upper hand.

She charged Lorenor as he was charging her. His eyes were fixed on her chest his arm already moving for its next strike.

Bad move, telling your opponent what you’re going to do like that.

When she got within reach, her left arm shot out to block his slash even as she put the majority of her weight into her right to deliver an uppercut straight to the chin.

What am I going to do if this doesn’t work? He has weapons and claws, I only have hands! I’m not equipped to face such a monster as this living legend!

[Mutant_Lorenor]

Seeing her reaction to his dangerous strike, the mutant's attacking arm connected with her blocking arm. As for damage? There seemed like none to be had in this round of furious attacks. Lorenor admired the tenacity of his opponent, but he was focused entirely on consuming her flesh at that point. Studying her movements suggested that another attack was coming, but Lorenor did not have the capacity to predict his opponent's next move. But, he could guess by her body posture, her minute muscle movements, and other tell-tale signs.

A lesser opponent would have easily fallen for that sucker-uppercut. However, Lorenor decided he would keep himself in the close-range position. He was an expert fighter at close-range, but wanted to prolong the match. Having fun with the match, Lorenor considered his next options. He opted to keep himself in the extreme close combat range. This was where Lorenor excelled the most, but he didn't boast on his power level. No, he wasn't like most warriors. He was attempting to beat her at her own game.

His endurance came into play. Capable of handling physical stress much better than most individuals of his tier, the mutant felt the impact of her fist against his jaw. An elation of pleasure coursed through his body as he felt the impact. Her blow was powerful for someone who seemed so frail.

Lorenor felt his lower jaw snap up against his upper jaw as his head flew backwards and upwards. He bent backwards for a moment, stepped a few paces back, and recaptured his balance with enhanced reflexes. He was still in extreme-close combat range.

Straightening himself was a quick and simple movement. There was nothing too elegant, or too flashy in his movements. He kept his fighting style simplistic to a fault. As a warrior, Lorenor wanted to be remembered for his simplistic way of doing things. Taking the hit dead on, he remembered Sorahn's teachings. You must be like water. And so, Lorenor moved against his opponent's movement with his enhanced reflexes and speed.

He kept his momentum going for a moment as he straightened his body, feeling the pain from her uppercut. Moving swiftly, the mutant reacted at twice the normal reflexes of a human being. He was cheating, he knew, but he wanted his prize. And his prize, was ultimately, her heart. With great skill, but not perfect skill, the mutant moved the same arm that had been previously blocked by her movements. Using that same arm with his forward momentum, Lorenor reacted with a downward slash. He rubbed his chin with one hand, as he slashed with the other effectively using it as a weapon. He moved for her bosom. No pretty words word exchanged this time.

[Ailnea]

Ailnea tried to dodge the blow by moving backwards, a single step would have been all it took, but she wasn’t fast enough, and sustained a deep slash to her chest. Blood spilled from her bosom and onto the ground. Indeed, though it was as red and as warm as any human’s, there was something, wrong, about it. It was almost as though the blood itself was lying to Lorenor about what it was.

Ailnea moaned in pain, making the rookie mistake of thoroughly forgetting about her opponent and clutching her chest. Something snapped inside her mind, and as though the pain of a simple flesh wound had been too much for her, she fainted. But that was not the cause.

Her spirit and her mind were elsewhere. She wasn’t sure how she knew, but she knew she was flying among the stars and planets of the universe Althanas was in. There was sound all around her, beautiful marvelous sound, as though the very bodies of the universe made sound in ways no human could ever ordinarily hear, yet she was somehow able to detect.

Meanwhile, Ailnea’s body just lay there in its unconscious slumber in front of Lorenor. Her blood had taken on a slight phosphorous glow. It made one wonder what her heart looked like.

“Fhn’gw eshtl ghnw?” Ailnea whispered in her sleep, speaking in a tongue no being on Althanas spoke. What it meant was a mystery.

Back in what Ailnea assumed was a dream, she gasped in surprise as she saw someone much like herself, yet older join her. She asked who the woman was, then the woman changed, her skin becoming white as snow, her eyes becoming purple spheres, her hair as tentacles, and her hands as claws. Her skin was mottled, as though it were somehow reptilian. Something about this creature was hauntingly familiar, like something vaguely remembered at the fleeting edges of a nightmare.

Back on the battlefield, Ailnea screamed in her sleep, a loud piercing shriek denoting horror of the most primal kind.

The words filling Ailnea’s mind were horrifying, abominations against the natural order and yet somehow, comforting. They seared themselves across her brain and would never be forgotten.

“Welcome my daughter; it is I who called you to this time and place. I am your mother, the original Ailnea.” The being claimed while embracing Ailnea.

[Mutant_Lorenor]

Taken aback by her sudden reaction to his assault, Lorenor was not sure how he should react to the battle at that point. A part of him wanted to finish the job of collecting her heart and feasting upon it. The other part of him, the more primal side, hated the taste of humans anyway. So all in all, the mutant didn't know what to do next.

The Living Dark moved all about their position and Lorenor decided that the match was over. She could no longer defend her, the prize was not worth the effort he would have to undergo in order to obtain her heart in the first place!

So, Lorenor began to look around for where the entrance of the arena was. He remembered where they had come in from, but the mutant was not certain of the exact location. He would have to walk around a bit. Meanwhile, he felt a little bit guilty in leaving that pretty girl behind. So, despite himself, he acted contrary to all normal behavior and reactions. He did the unpredictable thing and decided that he would help her out. She deserved a more fitting end than dying in this forsaken place.

Lorenor could survive in the bizarre field for a time, but he knew it was time to go home. All in all, he hadn't learned anything. He'd tested his skill against a lesser opponent and come out the decisive winner in the match. He sighed even as he attempted to pick her up. Her blood was flowing everywhere and at least, he'd gotten a taste. She'd called him an evil man, and maybe she was right. But that didn't mean he couldn't go out of his way to help someone on the field of battle.

An erratic individual, Lorenor waited to see if he could pick her up without problem..."Come on. Back to your ken you go child." Lorenor said to nobody in particular.

[Ailnea]

"Over here." A monk said, holding a torch and gesturing a natural rock archway, swirling with energies. He gestured toward Lorenor, then the archway. It lead straight to a healing room.

"Hold her for a second." the monk commanded.

Meanwhile, Ailnea's spirit was looking at her mother's with a micture of fear and desire. If this is what her mother looked like, then what was she?

"Do not speak, for you have not the time. I called you here, you would've lost anyway. Your opponent was superior, and you have only barely awakened. Indeed, I know all the details of your life, for I have been watching over you. Know this, you are not human, you are superior. All Evolutions lead to our species, for we are the epitome of all evolution. We are the Eldritch, more than a form of power, more than a way of life. In time you will return here, and learn. I will teach you as is my right. But even though I have already shown you much, and taught you many things, I have not shown or taught you everything. I have restrained the full might of my true form, and soon, yours will begin to emerge. The evolutions taught by the monks, yours are merely only awakenings. I have not called you here merely for a reunion. I lay upon you this charge: Deep within the swamps and jungles of Dheathain lies a ruined forgotten temple. Those who once worshiped in its hallowed halls called upon our gods, The Eldritch Gods. Go there, and call our gods to your world once more. One more thing, tell your monastic family that the curse is all in their mind. The only reason their powers failed, is because Eldritch magic is superior to all other forms of magic, and in their quest to help, they used their powers against my own, and failed as my magic ripped their own apart. Go now, and return swiftly." Ailnea's mother said. She kissed her daughter gently on the forehead, and briefly, Ailnea caught a glimpse of of the unimaginable things that lay beyond the stars. Then she was falling, and all fell into darkness around her.

She awoke in her opponents arms, inside a healing room. He had not abandoned her in The Abyss? Maybe he wasn't so bad after all. She put her arms around his neck and leaned up to deliver a kiss on the cheek.

"Thank you." she said with sincerity.

After getting on her own feet, the other monk approached her nervously.

"Why does you blood glow sister? No monk's blood glows like yours does." the monk asked, afraid she was going to bite him.

Ailnea looked at the blood on her arm still. the wound was closed, but the blood was still there, it wasn't glowing anymore.

"There are some things you are not yet prepared to accept. This is one of them. I must meet with The Elder, and then leave for Dheathain. My mother, she's still alive. She didn't die when I was born, she merely went home. I have so many questions and so few answers. Why me? Why now? I'm not even prepared to accept this. Why can't I be human, why do I have to be an alien monster in disguise?" Ailnea asked, tears welling up in her eyes.

She fled the room in tears.

"Alien Monster? What did you do to her?" the monk asked accusingly.

[Mutant_Lorenor]

Before he could say anything whatsoever, the nun ran off. He was left alone with a group of inquisitive monks that had just as many questions as he had. Her speech was a grandiose one hinting at many terrible things. Lorenor did not like what he was hearing one bit whatsoever. The mutant was at a complete loss for words. On the one hand, he knew he'd done something extraordinarily kind. The mutant did not know why at the time, but he felt somewhat better than he had in a long time. Despite this, acting in contradictory way left him open to suspicion. Questions needed asking.

Answers would not be forth coming. There was the strong smell of alms and salves in the healing center located outside of the battle arena they were just in. Possibilities coursed through the mutant's mind, but he'd done what he'd set out to do. Sighing as the Monks spoke, the mutant sat down for a moment trying to catch his breath. The moment seemed strange to Lorenor as he considered all that happened. He could hear the Monks speaking but wasn't really listening.

Some of the Healers worked on Lorenor's minor injuries where his regeneration powers began to kick in. He felt a sting as an alm was applied to the welt on his face. The girl's uppercut seemed to have done more damage than Lorenor had lead on. After-all, she was a monk in training and the mutant would expect no less from a Neophyte Monk. The mutant looked at the Monk as he left his thoughts and considered what was being said.

"What did you do to her?" The Monk asked again. "I defeated her in battle. Nothing more, nothing less. When she was under something happened. There was a strange reaction in the Firmanent. She said something in a language I don't know."

"Can you repeat what she said?"

"Unfortunately not. I didn't understand the language at all. It was unlike anything I've ever heard before."

"Perhaps we can retrieve the knowledge another way. You carry the N'Jal Protocol within correct?"

"Yessir." Lorenor said.

"That will make this process a lot easier." The Monk moved over to Lorenor and began a ritual incantation. Touching the temporarlis region of the mutant's skull, Lorenor suddenly passed out and went completely dark.

****

A few nights later, the mutant awoke in one of the Monk's resting chambers with his equipment intact. He gathered his belongings, struggled against a huge migraine headache, and simply prepared to leave. There was something important he felt like he had to do, but he couldn't remember for the life of him. He sighed as he prepared to step outside of the Citadel.

One of the Monks spotted Lorenor and approached. "Neophyte. You can't leave the Citadel yet, you have not yet earned that privilege!" The mutant sighed as he stopped and turned to the Monk's general direction. Lorenor shook his head. "What now? I have business to attend to." The Monk shook his head. "Business can wait. The Guard Captains can wait. This is important." Lorenor sighed again and walked towards the Monk knowing he best not argue. "What can I help you with then?"

"Walk with me." He said calmly.

And Lorenor did just that.

[Ailnea]

After the battle…


Ailnea had run into the monastery in tears.

“What’s wrong?” the Elder asked, stopping her.

“I just had a revelation that I’m the daughter of a horrifying monster that lives among the stars, am I not human? If not, what am I? Why did this have to happen to me?” Ailnea asked, throwing her arms around the elder sobbing. It was hard enough being outcast due to suspicion that the fading of their powers was somehow her fault; a suspicion born of the fact that when Ailnea’s mother apparently died in death at her birth, the powers of the monks failed to resurrect her.

“I know. I’ve known since you were born. I’ve known since a few minutes before your birth infact, that you are one of the eldritch creatures that lives in places unfathomable to most minds.” The Elder said.

Then, as Ailnea looked up at him in surprise, he said something that shocked her.

“Everybody has known. We just never said anything because we thought you knew.”

Ailnea was at a loss for words.

“Your our sister, no matter what you are.” A monk said standing nearby, a sentiment that was passed around the room. Ailnea broke down into tears once more, but this time with a smile.

“The fading of your powers, it’s all in your head, there is no curse only the lack of faith and doubt in your own abilities. The only reason they failed in the first place, was because who ever healed mother tried to use their powers against her powers, which cannot be done as Eldritch magic is superior to all other forms of magic. Hers simply ripped yours apart.” Ailnea said softly, laying her head on The Elder’s chest.

“Surprising, but understandable; I’ll take care of it don’t worry.” The Elder said.

“I need to leave, to Dheathain. There is an abandoned temple there I need to go to.” Ailnea said.

“I understand. But you cannot go alone. Wait a few days, do that much for me, and I shall send with you, one who can protect you. You know how certain people feel about you, those certain people are also in Dheathain.” The elder said.

A few days later, after Lorenor was woken up and lead inside for a task…

Lorenor was lead before The Elder himself. The aged man looked lorenor over for a moment before speaking. They were the only two in the room, besides Ailnea.

“Young one, your power and skill is needed. I cannot trust this task to any other member of our order, due to internal divisions. You are to guard our sister’s life, as she makes an important Journey to Dheathain. In this task, you are to listen to no member of our order besides myself, or Ailnea. Though bear in mind, hers are not commands, but the words of one partner to another. I say this, because there will be Aibrone monks who try to block your journey, and away from my protections, will try to kill Ailnea. If they get violent about their objections to your journey, you may deal with them however you feel best suits the situation. Well, time moves ever forward while we speak. You may gather a week’s worth of supplies from our stores, and a small measure of gold from our treasuries for your journey before you go.” The Elder said.

Ailnea offered her arm to Lorenor, so that arm in arm, they could leave the citadel via secret underground passages that would take them past the guards and the others who hunted Lorenor.


Spoils:
Eldritch Language: A racial knowledge. With the truth of what Ailnea is awakening within her, comes an ability innate to every eldritch creature, the ability to read, write, and speak in a tongue common to every such creature.

[Mutant_Lorenor]

The Elder of the Monks' order looked upon Lorenor with a certain degree of trust and responsibility. Lorenor sighed. In the end, he knew that he had no say in the matter. He looked at Ailnea, the sister-monk and shrugged in acceptance. There was nothing else to do but accept the Elder's orders.

"Very well then Sire." Lorenor said calmly and walked over towards Ailnea. "Dheathain huh? We can go through Jadet. Serenti is too dangerous right no. I have a contact in Jadet." Lorenor said, revealing some information about the Cult of N'Jal. "We can go through this contact of mine. I will arrange for reasonably safe passage to Dheathain."

Lorenor looked at the Elder. "Is there anything else that you require Sire?" The Elder shook his head. "You will no longer be hunted by the Knights of Dawn because you are a Neophyte of our Order. Remember that." He said calmly. "Dress in the attire of the Monk and leave all other associations behind except those of your Power Group. The Red Hand is aligned to the Monks of the Order." Lorenor knew this because he was a counsel-member of the Red Hand and had certain influence in Corone and abroad. He nodded to them. "I shall accept this responsibility then my Sire."

"Lorenor..."

"Aye sir?"

"May the All-Thayne guide you."

"May you find your way to the N'Jal Protocol." Lorenor said in return and the two men embraced. The mutant then moved to Ailnea's side. "Well then, looks like we will be spending a lot of time together young one. Let's make the most of it." Lorenor said as he walked alongside the nun. Without knowing exactly why, he allowed his arm to become wrapped around her own and walked side by side to the nun. Lorenor talked as they walked. "I can get us horses at the stables, supplies, and other wares. Just let me know what the lady needs for our trip to Dheathain. We should probably get you suitable weapons as well." Lorenor said calmly, his emotions were in check. He looked forward as they walked out of the halls of the Citadel. Their first obstacle cleared, he never left her side, not even once...

Fin.

[Taskmienster]

Battle Scrolls 2: I’ll be taking this thread for you two. I’m going to be doing it with the regular rubric, commentary where necessary, and if you have any questions feel free to PM or IM me and I’ll help as much as I can. Good luck to you both.

Scores will be put like this: Lorenor: [score] | Ailnea: [score]. If I quote anything I will put the post number that it came from in brackets as well so you can refer back to the specific post and check the quote.

Continuity Lorenor: [6] | Ailnea: [4.5]

~~ I didn’t really get anything from either of you to begin with… well a lot more from Lorenor than Ailnea about background and current agenda’s within the battle itself. However, at the end of the thread I got a little more about Ailnea, though nothing that I wasn’t really expecting (not to sound harsh but it’s true). Grand scheme’s of ultimate power and greatness seem to be the norm for your writing idea’s, style, and characters. It was no surprise that one of your characters was supposed to be some great evolutionary perfect creature, though what did throw me off was that you have set up that her abilities and power are inherently greater than that of the Ai’Brone. It doesn’t bother me as much that you are using canon to further your agenda in a negative way, it does bother me that you’ve introduced this sort of thing through a battle that was short and paced terribly instead of a quest where it could have been better explained and more thoughtfully introduced.

I’d suggest that you make things clear beforehand when you are writing, or at least allude and slowly edge into plot twists with a little bit more finesse that would not leave the reader being like “Eh, anime… sure, why not?” I know people hate being compared to anime’s, some at least, but sometimes the point needs to be put across. Anime’s aren’t bad, some are actually really well done such as Deathnote. But the reason DN is great is because the twists they introduce aren’t like DBZ where people suddenly gain immense power and understanding of everything and become Super Saiyan’s without any real reason behind it.

Hope that makes sense.

Setting Lorenor: [4] | Ailnea: [4]

~~ Neither of you gave me any setting besides the very minimal opening by either of you. It was a lackluster and altogether empty world you were fighting in, metaphorically. Literally I guess it was some kinda cave, with creatures and a lot of darkness, but without anything else that could have been used or could have been noted…

Ailnea:
~~ In the 6th post you say how your character was concentrating more on the setting than the battle at hand, yet to that point there was little to no consideration of the setting besides the bunnying from the opening post. The post was also a lot of fluff without anything really pertinent added to the thread or the battle. It slowed down the pacing and action considerably.

Pacing Lorenor: [5] | Ailnea: [4]

Lorenor:
~You seem to write in a style that is a bit choppy. Multiple short sentences are often reserved for use in situations where you are trying to speed up the pace or give the illusion of a quick paced movement. It can be used to make the reader feel like the time being written about is moving as quickly as the sentences are, or make it so that you can put emphasis on certain aspects of a setting, action/reaction, or other narrative things. Sometimes you use the short sentences too much though, which slows the reader down as they go along when the pacing should be kept smooth and well.

Ailnea:

~~ “We’re almost to the demi plane known only as The Bottom of The Abyss, where The Lord of The Abyss dwells, a demon god in league with the dark goddess N’jal, he is named Xith Rith Xail and is father to The Seven Deadly Sins.” [2] ~ You have the exact opposite thing that Lorenor has. Your sentences are way too long. They should be cut into pieces, probably more so than just two sentences, you could make some of your stuff into 3-4 sentences without them being too short. It breaks the pacing and makes it drag on at times. I’d suggest taking just a little bit of time to review the really long ones, cut them up and make them smaller, and work with those. It’ll help out the flow of the story a lot more and make it so that you are pulling in the interest of the reader instead of making them feel like it’s just never ending.

Dialogue Lorenor: [6] | Ailnea: [4.5]

Lorenor:
When you write you have the problem of leaving certain parts of your dialogue in the wrong places. You write the dialogue in the middle of the paragraph, which despite the fact that it’s in bold print, makes it somewhat hard to follow and puts it out of place. The best place to put it is either at the beginning or end of the paragraph, or separate it completely from the rest of the writing… never in the middle of a paragraph.

~ Also, a general rule to follow is to make sure that when you write dialogue you only put what is pertinent to the paragraph in the specific paragraph. You should also not put multiple different dialogues in the same paragraph. If you say something, and another person responds, and you respond to that… they should all be split up into different places instead of doing it all in the same block. This is more of a technical/mechanical issue more than an issue with the dialogue though.

Ailnea:
~~ ““You left yourself open to a counter, what is this some story where your opponent magically waits their turn to attack? Is the concept of a counter-attack some drunken bard’s notion? One attack should lead to another, as fluidly as water. Each movement should provide both an offensive and defensive stance; opposites, working together as one. Master this, master the art of war.” The young man said,” [6] ~ That’s a lot of dialogue that’s coming in the middle of the opening of a fight. I’d suggest either having it come in as internal dialogue that’s being thrown out there from an outside source so that it doesn’t seem that some monologue is happening at an odd time.

Though, I’m not really sure if this is something that’s happening within the room or outside of the room by observers.

Action Lorenor: [7] | Ailnea: [3.5]

Ailnea:
~~ Your entire 10th post made absolutely no sense… either in the context of the battle, or in the way it suddenly appeared and completely destroyed the pacing, or in the context of an abstract idea being randomly introduced for no reason. I’d suggest that things like this be taken to quests to happen, because mid-battle this could easily just be a mistaken post that offers your opponent nothing to work with. I could see something like this being the last post in a bout, but beyond that it would be out of place anywhere else.

Persona Lorenor: [6] | Ailnea: [4]

Ailnea:
~~ ““If I die, your not going to sacrifice my soul on an alter or something, are you? I kind of need to keep it.” Ailnea said, looking about for signs of just such an artifact, her fear showing despite the demeanor of her face.” [4] ~ I assume your character is one of the Ai’Brone correct? And she knows she is in the Citadel from what I’ve previously read. Now, the question stands, if both of those are correct, why would she worry about being sacrificed? Death in the Citadel is not permanent, all aspiring warriors that venture there know that, and certainly all monks/nuns would know that. So this stands out a lot, and makes the character seem completely opposite of what you are portraying.

Technique Lorenor: [6] | Ailnea: [4]

Lorenor:
~~ There are times when you use sentence fragments to provide emphasis, which is a part of your writing style. However, too many of these makes the reader really draw their attention to them instead of continuing on and following the flow of the story. I’m not saying don’t use any at all, because it’s a stylistic choice to use them, but I’d suggest not using so many so close together.

Ailnea:
~~ “Knowing she really had no choice, regardless of how things turned out, she decided to stop wasting time, and rushed Lorenor, hoping a shoulder tackle would knock him off his feet, so she could quickly get him in a choke hold, and choke him to death.” [4] ~ This is another example of an overly long sentence structure. It’s actually 7 dependent clauses thrown together by 6 comma’s. You need to break this up so that it’s not a run-on sentence and doesn’t sound so awkward or slow down the pacing.

Mechanics Lorenor: [7] | Ailnea: [4.5]

Lorenor:
~~ “With the Knights of Dawn constantly hounding his every move, Lorenor needed to secure safe havens. And the Citadel was as secure as it could possibly be these days.” [1] ~ It’s not a huge thing, since it’s technically allowed, but starting a sentence with a conjunction is something that’s not advised and taught against. It’d be easy to replace the period after “havens” and put a semi-colon, which acts the same way as a conjunctions. Just a little advice, nothing big.

Ailnea:
~~ “strong enough to see things by soft enough that even vampires could withstand it without pain.” [2] ~ by should be “but”, and there should be a comma before it.

~~ There are many cases were there are issues with comma’s, capitalizing the first word in a sentence, and other common grammatical rules that are easily fixed by just reading over your posts before you put them on the site… or using a Word type program and just adhering to the red, blue, and green lines that would undoubtedly underline most of your posts. Just review your writing, and it’ll help quite a bit with the mechanical aspects of the writing and helping boost the score here.

Clarity Lorenor: [6] | Ailnea: [3]

The issues covered above are the reason for the clarity scores. Fix some stuff, and everything should be clear enough to score much better.

Wild Card Lorenor: [4] | Ailnea: [4]

Lorenor:
~~ “Suddenly, she moved to choke him...” [5] ~ This is bunnying as well.

Ailnea:
~~ “It looked at Lorenor and used its supernatural power of fear on him to freeze him in place and started to run over to eat him, but a gigantic appendage that was simultaneously human hand, crab pincher, and demon claw reached out of the distance, grabbed the roach, and pulled it away. A high pitched scream of fear from the roach for its life reached Lorenor’s ears, followed by a sickening crunch, and wet chewing sound.” [2] ~ This is almost completely bunnying, which isn’t allowed. You can’t affect your opponent without him saying so, and you can’t have the environment affect your opponent either.

Score:
Lorenor: [58]
Ailnea: [40]

Rewards:

Lorenor: 2100 exp | 100 gold

Ailnea: 400 exp | 60 gold
(( Spoil approved, since it’s meager and necessary for the character.))

[Taskmienster]

Exp and GP added!

Only 1K till you hit the next level Lorenor!

Keep at it Ailnea, the character has promise and I know you can do well!