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Lightfoot
05-02-09, 08:40 PM
((This is something that I've been writing to try and get back into the swing of things. Basically the title says it all; scattered journal entries of a person with questionable mental stability. The entries themselves take part in different places and at the end they'll tie together to form a cohesive story. This is a little different than my normal writing, but I think it's going well. I'll update this every time I write a new entry; I'm up to two so far, so I'll start with those and see how things go. Feedback is welcome.))

Journal Entry #6

I have lost count of the days. I no longer see the sun or the moon from this padded cell I've been locked into. The room has a fetid stench from which I am the source. They haven't let me shower in almost three weeks. I can hear clanking from the buckles on my straight jacket everytime I move. I stretch out my legs and listen for the pleasureful pop.

A stinging light erupts from a hole in the door. I clamp my eyes shut and listen for the door to open. There's no need to see who's at the door. I already know.

"Good morning, Jacob," the man says to me.

"Hello, Steven," I reply. Steven Dempsy. The manager of the facility I am being held in. He's the only staff member brave enough to visit me alone. Everyone else thinks I'm going to bite their ear off.

"Ah, so you're lucid today, good. I was hoping I wouldn't have to deal with that distasteful alter-ego of yours." I can hear him try to hide a sigh of relief at the mention of Donovan. "What do you want for breakfast this morning, hmm? Scrambled eggs or Sausage and Gravy? Oh, I know...how about French Toast?"

"Surprise me..." I keep my eyes shut and my head against the padded wall.

"You know, Jake, if you would just take your medicine I could let you out of there. Maybe you could take a shower and get a haircut?"

Fucking lies... I open my eyes and look at the fat balding man through my greasy brown hair.

"I'm sorry Steven, you're going to have to speak up. I couldn't hear you through all that bullshit." A grimace grows on his face and he adopts an unfriendly tone.

"Fine, be that way. I hope you're looking forward to another week." He turns to leave and I shout after him.

"You can't keep me in here!" He turns back and responds.

"Oh, but I can. As long I give you food and water every day I could keep you in here for months for being so uncooperative. I honestly don't understand why you won't take your medicine. Don't you--" I stopped listening after that. He doesn't understand. I can't take my medicine. It changes who I am.

I started thinking of an open field. Rolling hills of shifting green grass. A bright blue sky, not a cloud in sight. I could lose myself for days in a dream like this, and I have before. Just sit back and feel the warm sun on my face. This was my heaven.

"Goodbye, Jacob."

"Goodbye," I whisper softly to the wind.

Lightfoot
05-02-09, 08:41 PM
Journal Entry #1

I watched the bright blue sky through the passing trees, imagining the puffy marshmallow clouds as an old time moving picture; catching only glimpses at a time as they flew with no particular destination in mind. What I would give to be a cloud.

SHHHFT... "You know," Mom said as she lit another cigarette, momentarily taking control of the car with her knees, "this could actually be a good thing." I watched her out of the corner of my eye, taking a long draw. She exhaled a cloud of smoke with a wheeze.

I barely held back my cough through burning lungs and rolled down the window. A blast of chilled air hit my face and blew back my hair. For a second I was high in the sky, flying free.

"You can finally get better," she continued. "Finally start living a better life." I looked at her and saw how she grasped so desperately at the "deathstick" between her fingers, trying to pry out salvation with every draw.

I'm not the one who needs to live a better life... I thought bitterly. I despised the fact that she smoked. The nicotine stained on her fingertips. The yellow teeth, the acrid stench that came from her mouth every time she spoke. I could hardly stand to be around her anymore. The doctors warned that if she kept smoking she'd be dead within months. But she didn't listen... Who's she to give me medical advice?

"What?" she asked. I realized that I was staring at her with a look of disdain. I averted my eyes and went back to watching the clouds.

"It's nothing..."

Lightfoot
05-07-09, 11:28 PM
-.- Ouch...really?