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Dissoni Alanacci
06-03-09, 07:28 PM
Natural Name: unspeakable in any human tongue
Known Name: Dissoni Alanacci
Age of Existence: infinite(explained in history)
Earthly Age: 27
Race: Arch, more commonly Eyriee(half angle, half demon)
Hair Color: lightly golden
Eye Color: lightly golden or white, depending on the light around him
Height: 5'10.5''
Weight:140 lbs (lighter than he looks because of his racial characteristics)
*Occupation: Dissoni travels from town to town, aiding in quests of the people, particularly the trade of vanquishing special foes susceptible to Dissoni's rather holy, or unholy, abilities.

*Personality: Dissoni is tied to his current quest and against the mark, if their is one, that it enraptures his body and mind so that he becomes what he needs to become, be it rude and untrustworthy or elegant and friendly. At times when there is no quest, Dissoni becomes a quiet background to the scenery, a glowing rock that everybody notices but that doesn't acknowledge anyone. If one could get through this front, though, he is a good and faithful acquaintance, always looking to please his friend, or at least not to upset.

Appearance: Being only slightly tall, Dissoni relies on his commanding stance to attract attention when he needs it. He is thin, and extremely so, but not brittle, with the stature of an elf- lean and strong beyond his body. If he is in a relatively good mood, he tends to shine very faintly, and if he is having the most depressing of days, his surroundings seem to lose their light- an anti-aura, if you will. Sometimes, Dissoni's innermost instincts take over, and he either becomes more angel-like, being Righteous and unbending and powerful, or becomes more a demon, with a feral way about him and powerfully menacing.
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_History: His history is written down already in the book that has been known world-wide for centuries, the Bible. When God cast out the angels into Hell, they became the Fell, the fallen angels. There, the history is unfinished, and here is the rest. Some of those Fell found demons to mate with and gave their children to God so they could become what the Fell came short of. Dissoni is one of those who then came from Heaven down to Earth, so as to protect His children. That is his quest, and he has one human life to do so before returning to Heaven and being God's servant there again instead. Although he is what he is, Dissoni has only slightly more the powers of men.
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_ Dissoni's Earthly life began thusly: God sent him down as a child onto the step of a Christian household. They raised him, and at the age of 19 he left with a farewell and a sentiment stating that he must go fulfill his duty. Being children of Him, they let him go....
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_ Becoming a merchant of small goods, Dissoni learned the land while making a small fund for himself and training, honing his skills. When he thought the time right, he gave up the trade and was thence known as "The Exorcist."
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Skills: While the gentleman's weapon, the sword, will always be Dissoni's favorite weapon, he is only barely average with his ability with it, so he is best with his marksmanship, skilled more than most. His skill at hand-to-hand is by far his worst fighting technique, a dismal display of more or less flailing arms and excesses of his own blood. Dissoni's prowess at analyzing the situation with calm and a sharp mind have saved him many a time, and he is proud of the fact.
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_ The better part of valour to Dissoni is usually not combat or death, but discretion. The skill of charm and persuasion come naturally, if not in excessive amounts. He also finds his ability to romance a woman quite useful.
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_ The term "magic" is offensive to Dissoni, although he knows it exists. He just sees "magic" as and act of the devil through a humanoid, and then, opposite that, an act of God working the same way would be what he calls "Kaza." That is a close pronunciation of the word as it is said in Heaven.
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_Dissoni, being a servant of God, has some small abilities of Kaza, meaning he can do some little helpful things as call for Light (a holy light, able to pierce unholy darkness in the shape of either an orb or instantaneous beam, causing no damage whatsoever), small Telekinesis(relative to his strength/level and inversely proportionate to the target's strength/level), and other small Kaza, all forms of those two or mixes of them, such as temporary holograms of unreal objects created by the bending of light. These holograms, for the time being can go only a short distance away from Dissoni and wear out quickly.
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_ The basics of how this works are very easy to understand. To do something by way of Kaza, energy is taken from the user in a deep way, taking one-and-a-third the amount of energy the mundane way would have taken. But this energy is not taken from the excess of his muscles but from the confines of his mind- a mental energy, not a physical one. By this way, using Kaza is extremely dangerous and not taken lightly.
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_So, even if it is useful, he could not, however, move a building even a few feet, cause love to appear or disappear, or halt the Sun. Or even stop a speeding arrow- it is very limited.

Equipment: Dissoni habitually carries one of either his trusty bow or sword. The sword is special in two ways. It is strong because it is made of a metal found only in Heaven, gondrite, an electric-blue ore that seems to spark. Again, being a holy ore, it is unbreakable, if not indefinitely powerful or unable to be stolen and used against him- about as powerful as steel, maybe a bit more.
_The second attribute of the holy ore is simple and quite obvious: demons are effected by its very touch, leaving a white-hot burn that eats at the affected one's strength over time, rather than the flesh. The sword cannot not kill by this mechanism, but it can decide the winner in a cat-and-mouse game when Dissoni is searching for an already injured mark.
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_His bow, his most reliable weapon, was crafted in Heaven also, this time from a tree that prospered in the city. The wood looks of gold and shines dimly, but the arrows do not. They are mundane in the fullest- oak with iron heads, and ten in number at the beginning of his tale. Again, the bow is only unbreakable, still leaving other flaws, such as the string, which is breakable.
_So this leaves holes in the design of this team, bow, string, and arrow. Dissoni will eventually run out of arrows, he will miss occasionally, and even though the bow will not break, it is difficult to bend enough to do extreme damage past the mundane yew bow.
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_Other special equipment is nonexistent other than a normal black leather glove on his left hand(even though he is right handed) and his small cache of manna, the angel food. It will preserve indefinitely and supply good energy, but will not last forever. He must learn to overcome greed.

*Familiars: As of right now, there is no familiar, but I plan on letting him find one later. It will probably be another half-demon, either a dog- or bird-like creature. Details will be explained at that time in-game or maybe referenced to an OOC description.


((Hope I did OK, and I look forward to critique. Thank you.))

Taskmienster
06-04-09, 01:20 AM
This was put in the wrong place, and you submitted it... even though in bold letters at the bottom of the "submit for judging" link it says no profiles. Please, don't do that. I moved this to the proper place and am going to be reviewing it for you.

You should have one skill (of the skills swordsmanship, marksmanship, and hand-to-hand) that is above average, one average, and one below average.

What does "call for Light" mean? And "other kaza" should be clarified. If it's not listed, you can't use it in a thread.

The sword's metal has to be of relative strength to steel or iron, though it can remain unbreakable... it just can't cut through anything that a steel or iron sword couldn't. Also, the enchantment on it should be that it causes weak damage to the cut area of a demon, though not overly dangerous it does sting.

The bow should be of either oak or yew strength relatively, though if it's made of the heavenly ore it can be that too. You can have 10 oak arrows with iron heads for it at this time.

Dissoni Alanacci
06-04-09, 11:41 AM
I'm really sorry about the mixup. I came here first, the right place, but for some reason I couldn't create a new topic, so i figured I was in the wrong spot and tried again here. I knew something was wrong towards the end, so I tried to make sure that I made perfectly clear what I was trying to do. Plus, someone else like me had had a character registration request there, so I was very confused in this new environment. Hope I didn't get in the way too much, and that I don't sound like a suck-up. Again, thank you.

Taskmienster
06-04-09, 12:08 PM
Not a problem, haha. I wasn't scolding, just informing. :p

I'd like for you to remove two of the magic skills. From what I can see you have a light that can pierce "unholy" darkness, which is helpful against demonic characters and such. Does that do any damage? You also have telekinesis, which should be limited and able to be resisted by a player with a high mental ability or higher level. You also have camaflouge and illusions. On top of the enchantment for the sword and your skills that's too much right now.

Dissoni Alanacci
06-04-09, 12:20 PM
Ok, so, here's the deal. Those skillz are meant to be so much smaller than apparently taken. I will get rid of the camouflage- I didn't like it anyway- and something else, I'll see when I am doing so.
Also, as I said these skillz are meant to be extremely limited and I think I need some help getting that across the right way. My equipment is awsome- I think- and I would like to keep it that way, but the Kaza and such is meant to be barely worth recognizing, Could you help me that accross? Then I will fix the last bit of it.

Taskmienster
06-04-09, 12:32 PM
Well, meant to be minute or not there's a possibility of using a lot of things at this level that I couldn't approve. How about this: The kaza skills are only the light through all darkness, natural or not, which causes no physical harm to creatures of darkness/evil. ((Of course sudden light to something naturally adapted to no light would sting the eyes quite a bit though, hah)).

The telekinesis can be used on other players your level, unless they can force their way through it or see through it and ignore it. Players higher level have an easier time ignoring it if they want to. And in order for it to work you should have the permission of the player first.

The illusions are merely small fragments of light shifted, in order to create something that looks (and only affects the visual sense) real. It can be small, within 5 yards of your character, and should be ignored in the same way that the telekinesis can be.

Camouflage can go for now.

The other things are fine. I would suggest splitting them up a bit more so it's easier to read. The easiest way to do that is find where one skill/ability ends and the next begins and put a space between them.

This is all general things we do for level 0 approvals. You can level up and add more in the future, but for now I can't allow anything more than what I've asked changes for. Your character has 3 fighting skills, 3 magic skills, and 3 weapons. That's plenty for a level 0.

Taskmienster
06-06-09, 03:28 AM
Alright, apparently you made the edits but just didn't post saying so. I looked over things, and just makes sure that if it's not in your profile you don't use it.

This is APPROVED.