Give in to the Darkness

[Magius101]

((Thread now open to those who I have accepted into the story))

Alathan woke up unaware of his surroundings, his eyes focusing on what appeared to be the ceiling. He was lying on a bed of extreme comfort, most likely made of goose down, but instead of lying under the covers Alathan was fully dressed and equipped with all his gear. In fact, there was no blanket or pillow at all.

How strange to find myself in this place that I have never been before. I must have been really drinking last night so as not to be able to remember where I am… I better get up and have a look around.

The dark elf rolled off the bed to stand straight and tall, letting his arms reach for ceiling while attempting to keep his balance. His blood began to flow away from his head at a rapid pace and his vision was quickly reduced to seeing nothing but red.

“Oh man my brain hurts… what the hell did I drink last night?” Alathan murmurs while pulling his arms out of the air to rest on the top of his head. “Damn, that must have been some powerful drink.”

As he slowly lead his body down to the ground Alathan saw what looked like the form of Mystus, God of Chaos and Death, materialize in the corner of his room. It was as if a thick black fog with specs of white light that looked like stars had taken on the form of a man of enormous size. Lying on the floor, sprawled out as if his body had turned to a jelly-like substance, Alathan looked at the general area of where he thought the face of the fog might be.

Alathan quickly began to understand, “Who the hell are you? And what the hell are you doing to my body… I… I … I can’t move!” Alathan tried to move his limbs but they were beyond his control. The creature before him was doing something to him, Alathan knew it.

“Your body, hah, the form you have taken now is not your body at all. It is a duplication of your previous one, don’t you remember… you died last night Alathan… you died.” As the creature finished speaking, his brain was flooded with memories.

* * * * *

It was supposed to be a typical assignment; find the target and take them out. But this time it was different. Something unexpected happened that Alathan had not considered as he crouched on a rooftop, poised to take the shot from his crossbow at his unsuspecting target.

Okay. Target in sight…wait for it…wait for it…now!

Alathan, due to the fact that he had taken out so many targets like this one before hand and considered himself a pro, forgot to take into account the target was a magic user.

Damn! ………I can’t see ……… Damn! ……… I am so dead………

Just as he was about to fire from his crossbow, a flash of light blinded him, and his shot went off its mark. Lucky for his target, unlucky for him.

Aaahhhhhhhhhh!!!

In the instant that Alathan went blind, the magic user that had originally been a target became the killer. A blast of fire emitted from Alathan’s innards, ripping him apart like a melon exploding from the inside.

Now dead, Alathan found himself in front of the God Mystus, who enjoyed nothing more than chaos and death.

“So Alathan, did you enjoy the fireworks… oh that’s right… hahaha… you were the fireworks.” Mystus began laughing at his simple joke.

“Yes, I thought it was real funny getting blown to pieces from the insides. Of all the ways to die, I would have to say that I never expected to die that way.” Alathan got up from where he was lying down and began looking around.

The chamber they were in was almost a surreal shade of black, the only light coming from the two torches that were lit behind the chair that Mystus currently sat in. Alathan affixed his eyes on Mystus, millions of questions popping into his mind.

“You are probably wondering as to why I have brought you here, yes?” Mystus asked, standing up from his chair to walk over to the right side of the room.

“Wow Mystus… you must be a God to have read my mind so well…” Alathan stated sarcastically, unimpressed by what any person with an IQ of dumb could have figured out.

“How quick the tongue is to cut at one who has saved you from the clutches of the Abyss.” Mystus waved his hand in the air and a large image the size of the wall shimmered into existence of the Abyss and the many monstrosities that reside within it, all bent on tormenting the many souls of the sinful.

Alathan walked over to stand next to Mystus, who stood a whole three or four foot taller than him. “So are you gonna’ answer the question or not? Alathan questioned while staring at the massive image of the Abyss and its many wonders and gruesome horrors.

“Of course, before I answer that question that I bet you’re just dying to hear” Mystus then breaks his sentence with a quick chuckle at the hidden wit in his previous statement, “there is something I would like you to see first.” Mystus then motioned to the wall where the image of the Abyss began to shimmer into a new one.

A picture of landscape, changing and shifting, was all that Alathan saw. Images of mountain ranges were quickly followed by beautiful planes of grass which then quickly changing to a short scene of a forest. The images were going by so fast that Alathan was beginning to wonder if he could throw up in this place, and whether Mystus cared if his lair was suddenly fouled by a former mortals vomit.

“This is the world that you know as Althanas, the place where you were born and the place that you died. This world was once filled with great chaos that I enjoyed very much, however, lately there has been a movement towards order and the joining of guilds and such. Real crap if you ask me…” Mystus, after his little monologue, put his hand on Alathan’s shoulder, “That’s where you come in Alathan. Even though I am sure you were looking forward to spending the next, oh… say… forever in the Abyss with a nice tormentor demon, I decided that you could be useful to me. I have a proposition for you, if you are willing to accept.”

Alathan’s face turned from one of listening to one of untrusting questioning. “Hmm… I am guessing there are some strings attached to this proposition as you call it.

A large smile immediately went across the ethereal face of the dark god. “But of course my dear-to-be-minion, but of course. No exchange can occur with only one side giving, it has to be a mutual exchange. Well actually, that’s a lie… cause you are pretty much getting shit all out of this compared to what I am getting… so I guess that means this is more of a either be my bi-o-tch or go to hell kinda’ deal.”

“Figured…” Alathan began pondering while Mystus stood there, the black mist that made up his body swirling around. “All right then, as long as I get to have revenge on that ass-of-a-mage who killed me.”

Mystus’ form began to spread around Alathan, causing all light to go out for Alathan.
“Don’t worry my minion, you will get all the revenge you want… yes… all the revenge.”

* * * * *

“Alathan… Alathan… wake up Alathan.”

Opening his eyes, Alathan realized that he was back in the room where Mystus awaited him. Mystus had moved from the corner of the room to sit on the bed next to where Alathan had been made immobile earlier, his face was filled with a large smile that would scare many a hardened warrior.

“You made a deal, Alathan, and you better keep it.” After that last comment, Mystus dematerialized and left Alathan to lie on the ground.

[ArchMagius]

The rain poured over Adriana's voluptuous body and her steel armor as she arrived at the front entrance to this small, farm house. It was here that Mystus had told her to go in the vision. It was here that she would find her purpose as a true Cleric of Mystus.

* * * * *

The image before her was one of extreme fear and awe, before her sat the god of Chaos and Death; Mystus. Sitting there on his throne in the middle of the dark chamber, lit only by two torches behind him on the wall, Mystus beckoned for Adriana to come closer.

“It has been too long since I have had the pleasure of speaking to such a beautiful cleric such as you. Please, sit and listen,” waving his hand a chair made of night black wood materialized beside Adriana.

Adriana stood up from where she had been kneeling in reverence and took her seat in the majestically carved chair. Although it was not as elegant as her god’s throne, it was enough to make her feel better than her peers in the order. “Why have you come to me in my dreams, oh great one, what would you need of one so lowly in the order such as myself?”

“Adriana, do not disgrace yourself so, it does not do your beauty justice. I chose you because I dislike how the higher up clerics work; all paper work and delegation with no action. You work differently. You are on the front lines of the order, using the powers I have granted you to bring fear to people across the world and ensure the numbers of our followers grow. I believe you are to be the one I choose for this important assignment.” Mystus looked over to Adriana’s right and a large image appeared on the wall. “This is an elf who I have invested too much in to let loose on the world without guidance. I need you to oversee his efforts, are you up to such a task?”

Adriana pondered over what her god was asking of her, thinking that such an assignment was surely wasted on one of her talents. “Not to be rude, my lord, but such an assignment can easily be handled by one of the acolytes. Baby sitting a male should be left to the lesser.”

Mystus allowed the image of the male dark elf to fade, turning his attention towards Adriana. “True, it can be considered ‘baby sitting’ from what I have had to endure from this pitiful elf, however, I needed a soul to do my bidding without free will getting in the way, and I found a solution. It will be your job exclusively to ensure his safety; otherwise, my work will have been for nothing. Do you accept this task, or not?”

Adriana stood up from the chair to kneel before her god. “I, Adriana uth Sabvriana, shall accept your task and will ensure the safety of this male. If I fail let my soul be ripped apart in the deepest dimensions of the Abyss.”

“Stand, my child, and remember what I asked and what you have declared. Protect that elf or your soul will never find peace in my presence.”

* * * * *

Opening the door with her left hand, Adriana brandished her long sword with her right. She would find this male elf and provide guidance… oh yes… guidance was what she would give to this elf.

“Alathan! ….Where are you! …. Let me see your face so I may smack it! ....” Adriana yelled as she walked into the small home.

[Magius101]

“Alathan! ….Where are you! …. Let me see your face so I may smack it! ....” Alathan, after hearing this yelled from downstairs got up immediately, quickly undid the leather strap that went across his chest with his left arm and used his right arm to reach behind his back and bring his crossbow to rest in front of him.

Whoever this bitch thinks she is won’t matter after I’m done with her…

Moving away from the bed to the right of him, Alathan tiptoed next to the door that was in front of him in the far left corner of the room.

Hope she likes crossbow bolts… ‘cause she’s about to get one courtesy of one really angry elf…

Alathan had his back to the wall and the door to his left as he cocked his crossbow with a bolt from the pouch-like container that was attached to his belt. The crossbow was originally made out of wood, but he had asked the maker to have it reinforced with steel to ensure that it did not break if he decided to use it as a club. The bolts he used were made completely of steel to ensure that they could deal serious damage to his targets. Alathan was surprised at how these weapons Mystus had provided for him were so like the originals, in fact, Alathan could swear these were the originals.

Once his crossbow was loaded and ready for combat, Alathan loosened his daggers at his sides from their sheaths so that he would be able to pull them out easily after he fired his crossbow.

“Here we go…” Alathan mumbled under his breath as he grabbed the knob with his left hand and held his crossbow in his right.

The door opened slowly, no creak emitting from its hinges, and Alathan moved from his stance against the wall to look out of the room. He saw a small end table against a wall to the left of the door and a hallway that extended to the right outside the door. At the end of the hallway, the dark elf could see a stairway going downwards to the right as well as a picture hanging on the wall at the top of the stairs.

Perfect… I can wait here and get a perfect shot off… maybe I can even find out who this bitch is if I do it right…

Continuing to tiptoe, Alathan continued to move the rest of his body out the door and proceeded to go into a crouch position in the hallway in front of the end table. With his right hand holding the trigger of the crossbow and his left hand underneath the crossbow to steady it, he took aim and readied himself for the unknown female to reach the top of the stairs.

This time I will not miss… I will not miss…

[ArchMagius]

After yelling for the elf Alathan, Adriana listened for any movement within the house. Just at that moment a crack of thunder went off, masking any sound that may have been made by the male elf and preventing Adriana from being able to hear where in the house he may be.

“Hmm, this should be interesting. If this elf is as important as Mystus himself, I may have to be careful in my guidance.” Adriana said to herself, gripping her sword in her hand a little tighter while looking around the room she just entered.

The room was actually three rooms in one; a living room, dining room and a kitchen. The living room was situated at the left of the room, in the corner closest to the wall that was at Adriana’s back. The living room area had sparse furniture and was arranged to face the fire place in a semi-circle. Next to it, in the farther left corner of the room, was a set of stairs that led up and to the right, probably to the bedroom of the farming couple that had lived here before Mystus had decided to use this as a rendezvous point. The dining room was located next to the stairs, with a good-sized wooden table pressed against the corner that was made by the staircase and the wall next to it. There were only two chairs, which suggested that the previous owners isolated themselves and had little if any guests. Next to the table was where the kitchen began, but it was more of a row of box-like tables than a kitchen. The row of tables, if that is what they could be called, held many plates and bowls of various food items, most likely left by Mystus for his followers to enjoy while they had their delightful encounter. In any case, Adriana had a job to do, and looking around this dump-of-a-house was becoming tiring and bore some.

“Come on Alathan; let’s get this over and done with! I do not want to have to spend all day playing hide-and-seek with a child like you!” Adriana knew that she would have hit the pride and ego of the elf now.

After yelling for the male elf, Adriana walked past the furniture of the living area directly to the stairs. She knew he would be up there, probably waiting for her and ready to strike. She would have to be careful; a cornered male dark elf was not something she wanted to face head on at the moment.

I shouldn’t be worrying, Mystus himself sent me here to meet this elf. He would not send me into a dangerous situation that I could not handle; Mystus has some heart.

[Magius101]

This is it, she’s coming… I don’t know how she knows my name but she’ll regret ever coming after me once I’m through with her.

Alathan, still in a crouching position, was ready for this unknown female person who had somehow found him here.

Wait a second, how did she find me? Mystus only just returned me to the material plane, how could this female know where Mystus put me in this world?

After a few seconds of thought, Alathan heard the female yell to him, her words sending his mind into frenzy. “Come on Alathan; let’s get this over and done with! I do not want to have to spend all day playing hide-and-seek with a child like you!”

How dare she call me a child! As if I, Alathan uth Kavirana would participate in such a childish game as hide-and-seek!

“I hope you don’t have any children of your own women, because I would hate for them to loose their mother this night!” Alathan stood up, walking slowly down the hallway towards the women’s voice. He hoped to surprise her and get her point blank in the chest, after which he would interrogate her while she took her dying breaths.

Unfortunately for Alathan, a floorboard creaked beneath his feet and rewarded his opponent of his relative location. This did not bode well for him and he hoped she did not hear the noise.

[ArchMagius]

A floorboard from upstairs creaked as if under pressure from someone walking on it. Alathan was right around the corner at the top of the stairs, Adriana was sure of it.

I better empower myself before he attacks.

Adriana pointed her sword straight in front of her, looking straight down the blade and up the stairs.

Mystus give me the power to do your bidding.

As soon as Adriana thought these words, her blade began to shimmer magically and she could feel the magic flowing through her veins.

Now I have the sped to give me an edge in the battle to come. Bring it on, Alathan!

Adriana’s movement from the bottom of the stairs to the top of the stairs was a blur; a trail of black mist resided in her wake and quickly dissipated. She now stood with her back against the wall, her feet placed strategically on the two top most stairs. Peeking around the corner, Adriana looked to see where Alathan’s position was, unfortunately, a large entity made entirely of black mist blocked her vision of the figure in the middle of the hallway.

[Magius101]

Just as the female, now known to Alathan as being Dark Elvin, peeked her head around the corner of where she stood at the top of the stair case, an image of Mystus appeared in front of Alathan.

“Although I would love to watch the both of you fight to the death, it would be a waste of a fine creation.” The image of Mystus then turned to face where Adriana was standing, “wouldn’t you think, Adriana?”

Alathan did not know who Adriana was but he was starting to wonder what the hell was going on.

“Hey Mystus, would you mind explaining to me who the hell she is so I don’t have to shoot her?” Just as Alathan asked the question that he hoped would be answered, he began to loose control of his body.

“Hey! What the hell! Stop this! Augh!” Alathan’s body quickly became useless as he slumped to the ground with a thud.

“I am sorry, Alathan, but if you didn’t notice I am trying to have a conversation with one of my lovely clerics.” Mystus then began chatting with Adriana via telepathy so as not to be heard by Alathan.

Alathan suddenly understood. This was one of the most feared people of all the followers of Mystus; Adriana the Deathbringer.

Lately, a lot of Dark Elves and other races of evil nature have been converted to the belief of gods other than Mystus. That is where Adriana comes in. Alathan knew that this Dark Elf had killed many as a Deathbringer, just because they refused to follow the path of Mystus. She must be here to ensure that Alathan remained faithful to the all mighty Mystus.

“So, Adriana, what were you planning on doing with that power you just received from me? You weren’t going to harm Alathan were you?” Mystus motioned for Adriana to move beside Alathan by moving against one side of the hallway while sweeping his arm in a gesture of direction.

[ArchMagius]

Walking the path designated by Mystus, Adriana moved to stand beside the fallen and still conscious body of Alathan.

“I would not dream of hurting Alathan in the slightest, for you were the one that sent me to protect him from your adversaries in this realm. It would go against my duties as one of your clerics.”

Adriana knew that this was not a lie; here intentions were in fact merely to be ready in the event that Alathan attacked her.

“I know that you speak truth, Adriana, do not worry.” The image of Mystus then turned from against the wall to fill the middle of the hallway in front of Adriana and Alathan.

“I sent you here in order to be able to talk to you both at the same so I would not have to waste what time is left before the Great Game begins. However, it is to no import as to why I needed you both here, what matters is that I can now tell you what you need to know and the information you will need for your first mission as my avatars on Althanas.”

[Magius101]

Alathan regained control of his body and stood up as Adriana stood next to him, both her and him looking at the great figure before them.

Mystus began to speak, his tone serious and concise:

“The Mother of Creation and the Father of Chaos were the first gods ever to exist in this universe. The Mother would take strands of order and chaos and weave them together with strands of neutrality, while the Father would rip them apart and scatter them throughout. This act by the Father caused the Mother much anger, so she destroyed the Father. However, through this action she created unbalance within the universe and in order to reset that balance she had to destroy herself. What was left from the strands of life was gods of greater and lesser qualities, where as what was left from the destruction of the Mother and Father was the materials to create life and objects.”

“I was created when my Father; the Father of Chaos, scattered the first strand of life built by the Mother. This makes me one of the greater gods, and so I am able to create life, however, I am not allowed to control the free will of my creations. Over time, I became bored with my simple creations of life and swept them from existence and searched the emptiness of the Realm of Gods for new things. This is where things get complicated, but I will try the best I can to explain it to the both of you.”

“I came across two of my brethren that were equal in strength to me but were not the same as me in thought. Where I was chaos, the others were order and neutrality. My new found sister, Mishkael, was very angry that I had found my way into their presence. We fought quite a long time before Taros, my new found brother who was the neutral presence decided to step in. He procured a plan that would allow us to fight without destroying the very matter around us, the Game of Gods.”

“The rules were simple; at a designated time and place, we would begin a game that would test our abilities against each other. Unlike our usual battles in the Realm of Gods, this game allowed for a winner and a loser, the loser being the one to perish and the winner to be the one to live. The game is not unlike a game in which the players play with pieces on a board and move them according to where they want them to in an effort to destroy the opposition.”

“The problem is that I have been occupied with the Realm of Althanas for so long that I had forgotten about the game I was to play with Mishkael and Taros. Due to this unfortunate circumstance, I have had to quickly assemble a group that would be willing to play my game on the material plane of existence.”

Alathan sat there, drinking all that Mystus had just said into his mind. He was to be the avatar, which was the main piece in the Game of Gods. Alathan had played the game when he was younger, but had forgotten it until now. Each player controlled several pieces, some weaker than others and some more powerful, and the object of the game was to wipe your opponents pieces off the board and claim victory. If he was in fact an avatar of Mystus, than he was most likely the Emperor while Adriana was the Emperess.

“You are in fact correct in your thinking Alathan,” Mystus said, watching Alathan as he pieced together the information that he had provided to the Dark Elf. “You two are to be the main pieces that I will be using in my game.”

Moving towards the two Dark Elves, Mystus put his hand on both of their shoulders, and darkness consumed Alathan’s vision.

* * * * *

As Alathan’s vision returned, he could see that he was in the common room of a tavern of which was very full. Adriana was seated opposite to him, across the small table for two.

“What would you like to drink m’lady?” a barmaid asked, while looking directly at the Dark Elf with wonder and fear sparkling in her eyes.

[ArchMagius]

Coming to her senses, Adriana realized that someone had asked her a question. “I am sorry, could you please repeat that?”

Adriana was not familiar with any other languages besides Dark Elvin and common; also referred to as trade speak. This human was competent to have learnt another race’s language, especially the language of the Dark Elves.

“I asked you if you would like something to drink, was my assumption of dialect incorrect?” the woman began to have a look of consternation upon her face, as if she had offended Adriana greatly.

“Do not worry, I am not like most of my race, I am a Cleric of Mystus.” Adriana said matter-of-factly, “I am accustomed to other races attempting to speak our language incorrectly. As well you have nothing to fear from me, I do not kill for pleasure, only as Mystus commands it.”

As Adriana’s words left her mouth, the common room of the inn went absolutely silent. So much so that everyone could hear the chef talking with the innkeeper over the amount of pay that the chef was to receive for his week of work.

“You are a Cleric of Mystus?” one of the men sitting at another table said while he stood up from his chair.

“Yes, I spread the word of Mystus and bring to Justice those who break their oath to Him.” Adriana continued speaking in a tone that suggested ignorance to the true matter at hand.

The barmaid quickly scurried towards the bar counters and shifted the part that was the entrance to allow her passage to the room where the innkeeper was, behind the bar.

“You have chosen the wrong inn to spread your words Cleric; we are all men who have had their families destroyed because of Mystus and his Clerics.” The man who had spoken was obviously their leader and now pointed his sword at Adriana.

[Magius101]

Alathan had been sitting across from Adriana while the whole ordeal began and thought nothing of it. He had faced worse numbers than six as a bounty hunter before his unfortunate demise. This would not be any different.

“Gentlemen,” Alathan began, his tone one of diplomacy that was similar to that of a salesman at a bazaar, “I assure you that there is really no need for your weapons, they will do you no good here… Do you really want to harm this beautiful female specimen of a Dark Elf?” Alathan then proceeded to stand up and throw his hood back to show them his scar from dying. “Wouldn’t you rather fight the mighty Mystus’ right hand man?”

Alathan looked at each and every one of his opponents to drink in their fear. His pupils were no longer black dots, but instead they had become shaped like many pointed crystals that did not retain any symmetry whatsoever.

“Well, what will it be?” Alathan asked, a large devilish smile appearing on his face while his hands went to his sides and pulled his daggers from their sheaths.

The moment Alathan pulled his daggers from his sides, the scuffling of feet could be heard as the innkeeper was urging the rest of his customers out of the inn, and when all of them left, the innkeeper left the room to stand just outside the inn’s entrance in a hope to yell at the to-be fighters to lay off his furniture.

[Raelyse]

Radasanth had never been one of Raelyse's favourite places. Maybe it was because he was a noble and the poverty that ran throughout the city and the high number of commoners contradicted with his proud nature. For many of the colleagues that shared status with him, that was the case. Especially those that were overly proud, not unlike Raelyse, they disliked mixing with commoners and the plethora that existed in Radasanth probably only served to amplify their disdain. The prince of Myrusia though, was a bit more petty when it came to justify his avoiding of Corone's largest metropolis.

He just plain hated racial harmony.

Elves, humans and anything humanoid he was fine with. As long as they didn't look too different, he found that they were acceptable. However, when he saw anything that tried to pass itself off as humanoid, but was instead stout, covered in a bushy beard and wide as a barrel of rum, he found his blood boil. Yes, Raelyse Salidan hated Halflings like dwarves, gnomes and anything that looked like them. He found them to be disgusting creatures, feeling that every one of them should be in servitude of superior races like humans and elves. That was precisely what he did in his mountain home of Erebus, Alerar. All beings under five feet tall were sent to the mines to farm out valuable minerals to deepen the prince's pockets.

In fact, Raelyse had traveled the sea and arrived in Corone for a similar reason. Corone had many mines and if he could secure a few in addition to those back in Alerar, he would be even richer. And riches were one of the few things that Raelyse valued above all other things.

As they moved through Radasanth, it was as if the prince and his entourage were trying to let as many people know that their group, the Grander's Order had arrived. Raelyse himself rode in a fancy looking white carriage adorned with many designs that would not look alien on pottery. The wheels were painted gold, though none who observed it would be surprised if they were actually gold. The driver was dressed in fine clothing and had control of a horse that looked like its hair had been combed with more effort than most women did with their's. The carriage was flanked on all sides by two finely dressed men each, riding white horses as clean looking as any. However, these men were armed to the teeth with ornate rapiers strapped to their waists and a quiver of arrows perking out behind their long black coats. Ornamental decoration danced across their epaulettes, indicating that they were military personnel of officer rank.

Behind the officers, there were about twenty other men, each riding considerably less fine looking black horses, wearing uniforms that were a bit more faded and wielding long swords that looked as if they were only used to sharpen the rapiers of their commanders. Their naked uniforms meant that they were privates in the Grander's Order but their sheer numbers forced the pedestrians off and the street and into shops or onto the sidewalk. The vast company of men was moving at great pace through the Radasanth roads though, seeming to value time. However, a more accurate description would be that their leader was impatient and wanted to get out of this hovel as soon as possible. Many people even had to jump off the street, surprised and nearly being knocked over by the enormous carriage.

Surprise still applied to personnel within the Grander's Order for their leader was so spontaneous that at any moment, he could do anything. Some wondered whether he did this on purpose to annoy his subordinates or whether he really was the most fickle minded person they had ever met. So it came as little shock when the carriage suddenly halted and the white door swung open, revealing the silver haired men that had rode within for the past few hours. His eyes were as alert as ever, the white orbs situated within a well chiseled face, handsome features scanning the area. His small, smooth lips curved into a condescending smirk before he jumped off his vehicle, landing on the dusty floor with a soft thud. The dirt gathered along his boots, but their shine would take a lot more than that to vanish. He wore expensive looking clothing to complement himself and although his silver hair was long, it was well groomed behind his ears. In his right hand, he held a black cane, the only thing on his possession that looked simple. Yet, juxtaposed with the setting around it, it looked magnificent.

Raelyse turned to an officer on his right, his gold bar design indicating that he had the rank of Captain.

"Captain Nathan," he began, his subordinate quickly jumping off the horse. "You and your men take lodging over there."

The prince extended his hand and one of his fingers, pointing to an inn across the street. He had seen many patrons fleeing through the exit and he then knew that they would have enough room for his men. The rickety sign swinging at the entrance, indicating the name of the establishment quickly dampened the mood of all the men under Raelyse's command. As Nathan opened his mouth to protest, he was shocked to see the door of a nearby inn, a much better looking one, swinging, and indicating that someone had just entered.

Behind that, he saw a tuft of silver hair and heard the distinctive tap of his leader's cane.

[ArchMagius]

As Alathan got up from his spot, Ariana realized that battle would ensue. Earlier, Adriana had held herself back because she knew how fragile the relations between Dark Elves and Humans were. However, it seemed that her attempts were in vain for these thugs meant business; dirty business. Not that she cared that these men would die this very day, it was just that she wondered at what the human had said about Mystus affecting his family. Adriana did not realize that Mystus had become so desperate for followers in Althanas that he would begin recruiting lesser followers.

"Alathan, let us deal with these fools who would dare to fight those who are superior." Adriana said, as she rose from her seat and unsheathed her sword. Pointing her sword at her nearest opponent, she spoke the divine words of Mystus and let His magic flow through her.

"I hope these men can move faster than light, because the darkness of Mystus has no equal!" Adriana's blade then began to swirl with a black mist.

Sword in her right hand, Adriana quickly moved towards the man on the edge of the group at her right, using her peripheral vision to ensure Alathan was engaging the thugs as well; It would do her no good if Alathan was bluffing earlier.

[Magius101]

Seeing that Adriana had moved to attack the group of three fighters on the right, Alathan decided to go for the group on the left. The Dark Elf grinned in satisfaction at the expressions of astonishment that the men in the front of him produced as he ran towards them and jumped onto the table they had been sitting at previously. Unfortunately for the man directly in front of Alathan, that was to be his last expression of his meager and insignificant life.

The man standing in below and in front of Alathan swung his sword in a horizontal arc in hopes of seperating the Alathan's lower legs from the rest of his body. However, Alathan's reflexes allowed him to anticipate the attack and to avoid such an attempt. He jumped into a front flip, the blade narrowly missing the bottom of his feet, and began his counter-attack. As the Dark Elf's body rotated in midair, he extended his arms and plunged his daggers into the shoulder blades of his opponent. Using his momentum to his advantage, Alathan then stretched out his lower body so as to land on his feet behind his now dead adversary. After landing, Alathan pulled his daggers out of the man's shoulder's and blood began to flow out of the man's body at such a rapid pace that the whole front of the man's clothing was soaked in it within seconds.

The blades of his daggers were wet with the blood of the human, who by this time had slumped to the floor with a loud crashing noise as he broke the chair that was next to him.

"Damn it!" yelled the innkeeper from his position at the entrance to the inn, "I knew it was too much to hope that none of the furniture would be broken... I might as well go and visit John at his repair shop." With that last comment the innkeeper left from his position at the door to walk in the direction of John's Repair Shop.

Meanwhile, Alathan had caught a glimpse of the carriage and the armed men outside the door located behind the former patrons of the inn.

"Adriana," Alathan yelled while spinning around to parry the thrust of a sword with his left dagger and dodge a glancing blow of another sword coming from the right, "We need to get out of here fast, the authorities are already here!"

"There's no getting away from us Dark Elf!" yelled the man who had attempted to impale Alathan on the point of his sword, "you will die here in this very inn!"

Looking over at Adriana, it seemed she was having a lot of trouble dealing with the two remaining men she was fighting, even with having killed one of the three that engaged her in combat.

[ArchMagius]

As Alathan engaged himself in combat with the three humans closest to him, Adriana had her hands full with the remaining fighters. Her sword had lost its magical properties that it had during the quick sword duel she fought with the first of the three men that she had begun fighting.

"After we're done with you, Dark Elf, you will wish you were never born!" one of the fighters declared while grabbing her wrist that held her sword and twisted it. "I can guarantee it." Adriana then dropped her sword out of pain.

"Alathan!" Adriana screamed, "get your hands off me you humans!" Adriana began to scream incoherent words that were obviously aimed at the two men who had overpowered her and had begun dragging her upstairs.

Adriana soon found herself blindfolded and gagged, sitting in a wooden chair in one of the rooms of the inn. The men were obviously here to capture her, not to kill her.

"Hurry up, Jake! The other one will be up here for her soon, and he doesn't look like one to mess with. What with his wicked daggers and that crossbow strapped to his back, he looks pretty dangerous." Adriana could hear two men sliding the bed in front of the door to act as a barricade to those trying to gain access into the room.

"Shut up Michael, or you'll be the one to taste my blade instead of this here Dark Elf," said the one named Jake. He was obviously the leader of the two for he had the tone of voice that commanded respect from the other one.

"Sorry, Jake, it's just that you never said it would be this difficult and you never said that she would be accompanied by another one of her kind," the one named Michael was obviously a weakling that only fought if the odds were in his favor. He was most likely the lowest ranking of the group of thugs who had begun the fight downstairs.

"Michael, just shut up and take off that bitch's blindfold. We need to get the information from her and get out of here." After Jake spoke, Adriana could hear footsteps come towards her and her blindfold was quickly taken off, leaving her long black hair disheveled about her face.

Standing before Adriana was a stout man, wearing a pair of white pantaloons. Looking up she saw that the man had taken his shirt off to reveal a tattoo on the left side of his chest. Her vision finally adjusting to the window-lit room, she realized who this man was; a follower of Mishakael. The tattoo of the Rose of Mishakael was all the proof Adriana needed to realize what was to happen to her.

* * * * *

At the beginning of time, there were only two entities; the Mother of Creation and the Father of Chaos. For several eons, the Mother of Creation had sowed the matter of order and chaos together to form the galaxies and planets fo the Universe. However, the Father of Chaos did not like to see balance among the cosmos, and so he began taking the strands that the Mother had created and ripped them apart and scattered them throughout the Universe; creating balls of burning strands everywhere that became known as the suns and stars of the Universe.

Of course, upon discovering what the Father of Chaos had been doing behind her back, the Mother of Creation fought the Father of Chaos. The battle between the two lasted for an eternity before finally they destroyed eachother and winked out of existence. The material left over from the great and majestic battle shifted and molded, eventually creating the many lesser gods of the Universe.

Of these many gods, there were two that were created within close proximity of eachother, and became destined to continually battle eachother. Mishakael was a Goddess who had sprung from the materials of the Mother of Creation. Mishakael believed that order was teh essential principle of the Universe and that those who were pure of heart and obeyed the laws of the Universe would become her followers. And so, she created the Iaatari; the winged people of Aralanias. These winged men dwelled in the many environments of Aralanias, which was specifically talored to their needs. However, Mishakael was not alone in wanting followers and power. Mystus, born from the Father of Chaos, sought to break the order and benevolent ways of the loyal follwers of his sister Mishakael. And so, he created the winged demons of Draconias; the Nuitarians.

Arialanas was the planet that Mishakael had chosen as her domain, and the fact that her brother Mystus had taken the black moon that orbited her planet was of no surprise to her. She considered her brother's attempt to destroy the order on her world a test of faith for the Iaatari. If Mystus could do nothing to affect their free will, then he would not be able to affect her followers in any way. But when her brother's shadow demons rained down from teh sky, she began to realize that war was to come for her creations. And so the Game of Gods began between Mystus and Mishakael.

* * * * *

Upon seeing the emblem of Mishakael, Adriana began to desperately attempt at escape from her holdings and turned her face away from the man as he knelt to see the Dark Elf eye-to-eye.

"May the light of Mishakael have mercy on your pitiful soul..." the man murmered as he brought his dagger to meet with her neck.

[Magius101]

The screams of Adriana blared through Alathan’s mind as he doubled his efforts to take down the two men in front of him. He quickened the pace of his movements and flourished his cloak consistently to aid his need to dodge the two men’s sword thrusts. Finally, after a single bead of sweat appeared on his forehead, Alathan realized how dull this fight was becoming and that Adriana would of course need his help in getting her out of this mess.

“Sorry boys, I would love to stay and play with you but the Lady’s calling…” Alathan said with a hint of a smile curling on his face.

The very second that Alathan finished his words he flipped his daggers around so that the flat of the blades pressed against his forearms and swung his arms simultaneously in a vicious vertical arc. Flipping end over end the daggers flew with deadly speed towards the unprotected throat of their intended victim. With a gurgle of blood from his mouth in an attempt to voice his pain, the man who now had Alathan’s daggers protruding from his jugular slumped to the ground, his life essence quickly draining.

As the last remaining man stopped to stare in shock at the gruesome death of his friend, Alathan reached behind his back and pulled his crossbow in front of him and loaded a bolt into it. He then braced the butt of the weapon against his shoulder and aimed it at the face of the other human.

“Oh, shit…” the man murmured while turning to look back at Alathan.

Pulling the trigger, Alathan watched as the back of the man’s head was splattered around the room behind him.

“Damn,” Alathan said, turning his head away, “What a waste of a bolt.”

Remembering that Adriana was still being held upstairs, Alathan quickly retrieved his daggers from the fallen man’s jugular and wiped them clean on the man’s clothes. Placing them in their respective sheaths, Alathan reloaded his crossbow quickly and ran up the stairs to where Adriana was being held captive.

[ArchMagius]

Just as the cold of the blade touched Adriana’s neck, it was quickly removed. A loud bang at the door of the room could be heard as it was being forced open, as well, many Dark Elvin curses could be heard coming from behind the barricaded door as Alathan had most likely hurt his shoulder from his attempt.

“Shit, we don’t have the time to deal with him… What are we going to do?” said the weakling of the two males standing in front of Adriana.

“He said we should only use this if we were about to get caught or if we were caught in battle with the male of these two Dark Elves. I suppose now would be as good a time as ever.” the leader of the two males then pulled out a small red stone from the leather pouch at his belt. “Sorry, bitch, guess we will have to have our fun at another time.”

Throwing the stone to the ground, a red mist surrounded the two men and filled Adriana’s nostrils with the smell of faded rose petals. The mist quickly dissipated, leaving the room empty and the room had become arranged the way it was before the men had decided to use the furniture as a barricade to keep Alathan out.

Another strange thing was that Adriana was no longer sitting in a chair and she was free from her bonds, which had apparently disappeared.

“What in the Abyss was that all about?” Adriana murmured to herself, “I thought for sure I was dead”

[Raelyse]

Even though he was probably the most conceited person on the continent, Raelyse was not stupid enough to let his pride blind him to the point where he believed that doors opened themselves to him. Especially when the sounds of steel clanging against steel and bodies falling to the ground rang through his ears, coming from just past the two wooden doors. At first, the prince dismissed it as a simple bar fight and decided to choose another establishment and let his men stay here. This brief thought stopped his motion, just long enough for the two doors to fly open, as if to welcome the prince. Before the tips of his lips could even rise into a smirk, a rather large blonde human flew through the air, landing at Raelyse's boots, his blood and spit staining the area just in front of them. He looked up at the silver haired prince, his face covered in bruises and cuts that would soon turn into scars. Opening his mouth to reveal missing teeth and ones that would soon drop, the man then collapsed on the ground, his bloody cheek landing on Raelyse's leather shoes.

"Unbelievable," the prince said, his head cocked back and rising to look at the wooden roof. Shaking his head from side to side, he then looked down at the unconscious man at his feet. "This is the worst red carpet I've ever gotten."

Raising his feet to flick the man's head off him and onto the wooden planked floor, Raelyse moved forward, his steps now extra heavy to make them louder to announce his presence. Even then, they were dwarfed by the sound of his cane tapping on the wooden floor, echoing throughout the enclosed area as they brought him into the once fine establishment, now garnered in blood and spilt alcohol of its once civilized patrons. There were about twenty men actively exchanging blows with even more lying on the ground, writhing in pain or the luckier ones, who were knocked out. One of the awake ones rushed at the newest entrant, driven by the mob mentality of the room, his body coursing with bloodlust.

He had no idea what he was in for. One of his hands held a knife, the other held a dagger and by the time he was within one foot of his intended target, both of the weapons fell to the ground, still held in severed palms. The assailant glanced at his stubbed arms unbelievably, before a fist rose from underneath his chin, sending him flying across the room.

Raelyse Salidan threw his silver hair back and smirked, shaking his left hand to remove the blood from it. The only signs of his movement to disarm his opponent was the slight drop of blood that lay on the shaft of his cane. He had unsheathed his sword from its cane sheath and in one swift movement, cut off both of his attacker's palms at the wrist before sheathing his beautiful shimmering blade and then leaning back onto it for support.

Raising his left hand to inspect his hands, the prince noticed with disdain, a few drops of blood in between his fingernails. He emitted a soft sadistic chuckle, which somehow was still heard throughout the melee going on in the bar.

"Now... I'd like to get a room."

----------------------

Captain Nathan of the Grander's Order was no fool. He had been an officer in the miscellaneous armed forces for almost half a decade before enlisting with Raelyse and had seen countless battles. But never in his entire life had he seen a bar, espicially in Corone, dead silent, the only sign of life, the ajar entrance door. He held out his hands to his weary troops, then made the military signal to tell them that he would enter alone.

As soon as the doors swung open and his firt boot landed onto the wooden floor, Nathan knew that he needed backup. But he wasn't sure. He had never seen anything like this. Everywhere he looked, he saw death.

Somehow, his eyes were drawn to a small crossbow bolt, impaled in an apparent patron's head. His eyes instantly recognized it.

"Drow..."

[Magius101]

Alathan was surprised when he went to go and kick the door in front of him for the twentieth time because instead of the wood giving way a bit more like it had for the last nineteen times, the door burst open to reveal Adriana sitting in a chair with a blank look on her face.

"Where the hell did the human scum go to?" Alathan asked Adriana.

Before could reply to his question, Alathan turned to look down the stairs, his keen hearing picking up the noises of soldiers approaching the entrance to the inn. He realized, with a side thought, that they would come to find the blood and gore of the fallen humans and would immediately suspect foul play.

"Adriana, we need to get out of here..." Alathan said while walking in the room and closing the now half broken door behind him. "There are soldiers on their way up here and they will definately be looking for whoever killed those men downstairs with vengeance."

Continuing his swift pace in the direction of the single window of the room located above and behind Adriana against the wall, he looked outside and noticed that the roof of the building that they were in was quite close to the roof of the next building over. He then got the idea that they could jump across and enter one of the rooms over there via the various windows lining it.

"Adriana, I have an idea..." Alathan told her, while turning around to find Adriana still sitting in the chair. "What the hell? What has gotten into you, I thought Deathbringers never slept..."

[Magius101]

This thread is closed. The characters in it are no longer bound to its storyline.

[Karuka]

All right, to start out, before I start crunching numbers, the basic premise entertained me a great deal, but there was a general sort of clumsiness with it, like you knew what you wanted out of your story, but not exactly how to pull it off. I also know that your score was absolutely battered by the fact that this was unfinished. I hope to see a more complete version someday, this version had some real potential.

Most of my commentary will be for Magius101/ArchMagius, unless I specifically mention something to Raelyse, and since Magius101 seems to never have been judged before, I'll provide some explanation as to what each category means. I realize that this is better than a year old, but I'll work with what I have.

Continuity - 4 Continuity basically judges how well you explain to me why your characters came to their entry point at their entry time, preferably some of what went on before that, and then goes on to hint at what will happen next.

I understand why Alathan was there, not so much why Adriana was there, and Raelyse seemed to come in at random. I really don't know why Raelyse was there at all. Another thing that hurt your score here was that the thread wasn't complete, so I have no idea where you're going.

Setting - 3 Setting is not just the environment in which your characters find themselves, it's the way they interact with it. Is the knob on the wall just a knob on the wall, is it something to lean on, or is it a doorway to something secret and deadly? Do the characters ignore or make use of it? That sort of thing.

I didn't really get enough setting to get a feel for the environment, and what setting was provided tended to be a massive clump amidst many one or two sentence paragraphs. Setting judges how well your characters interact with their environments, and you didn't seem to take advantage of it.

Pacing - 3 Pacing describes how well the story flows from start to finish, whether some parts take too long and others not long enough, and whether it was kept up so that it didn't feel like the reader was sloughing through the story instead of breezing through it.

Well, the fact that the thread was unfinished really killed you here, since I didn't have a context to place the rest of it. The fact that you repeated, almost word for word, your creation/Game of Gods story.

Dialogue - 4 Dialogue is how the characters speak, how well it fits into their personality, and how appropriate it is to the situation as they say it. For instance, if Scholar A was talking to Barbarian X, pleading for his life, he probably wouldn't break out the same jargon he would as if he was talking to Scholar B in a discussion on the theory of life.

I felt here, as in technique, the dialogue was too rigid, as though you had a formula for dialogue and followed it not for one character, but for Alathan, Adriana, and Mystus. I can understand Adriana sounding so formal, being the holier-than-thou Inquisitor type, but Alathan's a mercenary assassin, and Mystus is the god of Chaos and Destruction. I'd have expected them to have been much less formal and much more relaxed with their dialogue. Some contractions wouldn't have hurt.

Also..don't repeat dialogue. You often do that to bridge the gap between posts, but it's kind of jarring and doesn't really help the flow.

Action - 5 Action describes what's happening and how well the writers carried it off. It doesn't necessarily mean combat; I've seen some very good action scores for some very non-combat threads. Your thread had a lot of combat, interspersed with a lot of dialogue.

Why, knowing that she was probably a target, did Adriana just traipse right up to the stairs? She's supposedly a seasoned warrior, and would know better than to charge boldly right into a probable assassin's trap. Also, the little encounter between Alathan and Adriana dragged on for way too long. Maybe that's just in the context of what it is, and not what it should have been, but all I have to judge is what is. I really think this could have been a lot better, rather than dragging out your two fight scenes, you could have gotten to the point more swiftly and maybe gotten more of the thread complete, which would have boosted your score.

Persona - 4 Persona describes how well the characters stayed in character, how well rounded they are, and how well they were depicted.

In my judgment, I consider the actions of NPCs almost as much as I do PCs. And almost right away I had a persona clash with Mystus. Why would he so eagerly strong-arm Alathan into being his "emperor" piece in the game with his sister/opposite force without thinking of him as worthy? He describes him as a "pitiful elf," and yet bestows on him great responsibility. As for Alathan, he seems to go from being dazed and confused to cocky and then to lethal...maybe too lethal for his level, but that was better than Adriana. She seems they type to bow before her god and then be much colder to anyone else, but she seems like she ought to have more common sense than to rattle off that she's a Cleric of Mystus and won't kill random people without first assessing the situation, especially since she seems to be not so strong in combat. In general, your characters seemed pretty two-dimensional (granted, they're new and still need that breaking-in period), and your NPCs were extremely flat. The fighters in the bar seemed almost cookie-cutter characters.

Raelyse and his NPCs also seemed a little flat, but he didn't seem to have much chance to properly interact with the other characters and the situation.

Mechanics - 5 Mechanics is pretty easy, and says how well you responded to the conventions of the language. It judges the little nitty gritty stuff like basic spelling and grammar.

Your writing was legible enough that I could read it, with several recurrent errors.

You missed some punctuation, particularly commas, which was slightly annoying, and had a couple of redundancies ("something unexpected that Alathan had not considered," from the first post). Also, you hit two of my pet peeves in one sentence. I'm not taking anything off for this, because they're common mistakes, but in post 5, Alathan says "I hope you don't have any children of your own, women, for I'd hate them to loose their mother this night." Women is the plural of "woman," and since Adriana's alone, it needs to be the singular. Second, "loose" is used to define something as not restrained, i.e., "the dog is loose; the knot is loose; her clothes are loose." Lose is like "lose the game, lose your dog, lose control."

Technique - 6 Technique is basically how you use literary devices, and I include the basic style of writing.

Your writing technique feels rigid, like you have an idea and know what you want out of the story, but haven't found how you want to say it. This also manifests in some clumsy word usage, particularly in dialogue. Also, sometimes you go from describing things in the past tense to describing things in the present tense. I got the feeling that you were trying to use the historic present, but that's really fallen out of favor in conventional English literature.

The only real technique you used was a little bit of flashback. I like flashback, so while I would ordinarily have given you a four here, I gave you a six.

Raelyse...there was a lot of unnecessary flowery ornateness to your posts, describing somewhat insignificant parts of the surroundings. You need to find a happy medium.

Clarity - 6 Clarity is basically how easy it was to understand the thread. It ties pretty closely with both Mechanics and Continuity. Basically, good grammar lets the reader read without getting a headache from trying to decipher what you're saying, and Continuity establishes a sort of context for everything to be happening on.

I still don't know exactly what was going on, other than the gods do play at dice, but I could generally understand what you were trying to say. The redundancies I mentioned in mechanics hurt you here, and if you cut down on those and pay more attention to the context of your story, your score here will really improve.

Wild Card - 6 Basically, Wild Card is judge discretion, the place where we can reward things that we liked or make up some balance if we felt the system was harsh...or not, depending on the thread.

Here, I really loved the phrase "IQ of dumb." That was great. I do feel that the rubric was somewhat harsh on you, but I also feel that the thread could have been handled far better.

Total: 46! Congratulations!

EXP/GP rewards:

Magius101 gains 400 EXP and 145 GP
ArchMagius gains 375 EXP and 130 GP
Raelyse gains 610 EXP due to high level and 50 GP.

[Letho]

EXP/GP added.