First is the worst, Second is the best.

[Rian]

((Closed))

"Rian wake up! Your going to get to school on time for once!" Cynthia screamed down the hall. Shove something else in your mouth, maybe that will shut you up. Rian thought to himself while he layed in bed, his arm aimlessly scavenged for clothes. Cynthia was the new girlfriend of Rian's father. The irritated boy hated that whore. All she ever did was scream and yell at others for doing bad, never taking time to realize she was doing the worst. Rian never could understand what his dad saw in her. Other than to get ol' pops' rocks off, Rian saw no other need for her.

Walking to school was always a drag, the kids in the surrounding houses would always harass Rian on his way to school. They would call him names or even physically harm him. He always said he would one day get back at them for all the pain and stress they had caused.

Rian had finally managed to make his way past his step-mom and out the door he went. Opening the door was always a hassle. The second Rian pulled open the creaking front door, the sunlight beamed, warming his skin, igniting his big brown eyes. The cool breeze swayed his hair back and forth as he walked along the dirt road. Rian always wondered what awaited him at the corner of every block, could it be another bully, or better, a thief to take his little change. He never knew, he simply would assure himself, if that ever occurs, that is just one more name to add to the "eye for an eye" list he had been hiding under his bed.

One more block to go. Rian could see his fellow classmates making their way inside the building. As he made his way to the corner of the block, a quiet, slurred sound was coming from one of the close bushes nearby. As Rian made his way closer to the shrub the sound was becoming clearer, as if someone was begging for help. Once ten feet or so from the bush, Rian could her a girls voice crying out, "Please somebody help me! A snake has attacked me! Call for help!" that was all Rian needed in order to begin fast pursuit, to aid the young girl.

The thorny bush looked thick and lush, the small tan thorns jutted out from the rich leaves. Without a moment to think, the boy had grabbed hold of the nearest branches, only to see a familiar girl holding her ankle. "Are you alright?! What do you need?!" Rian shouted, trying to over power the girls shrieks of pain and agony. "I think it was poisonous!" the young girl screamed. Rian was in a moment of shock, he had never held in his hands, the life of another. He looked around, but nobody was to be seen. Holding his hands high in frustration he gazed back at the girl, only to see that she was no longer holding her ankle. "Are you still in pain?!" Rian asked. The girl stared blankly for a second, and then her lips curved into a sleight grin, as if almost a smile. "One last thing" the girl said, and those were the last words Rian's ears had taken in. After the girls smirk had let out those words, a boy had slammed a boulder into the back of Rian's head. They watched as his eyes twitched shut, his legs collapsed from under him. The boy had become unconscious. Laying there, inanimate and still, the boulder-wielding child smiled. "Nice acting baby! I couldn't have done that better myself!" the bully said as he placed one dirty, muddy boot atop Rian's chest.

Three Years Later...


"I am sorry to say, but I don't know if he is ever going to wake up mam, it has been near three years, the boy is nineteen and hasn't celebrated any of his past three birthdays." the medic said. "So, is this it? Is he dead? Three years later and he is still out, I don't see hi...." Cynthia's words were cut short. Rian's eyes began to flutter and blink, as the boy was catching a glimpse of his new life, his second chance.

[Rian]

The shaggy brown haired boy attempted to rise from his deep, long slumber. "No!" the medic cried, but it was to late, Rian rolled off of the bed onto the floor, his body collapsing under him. Helping him back up onto the bed sheets the medic sighed, "Rian, your too weak to even stand. After three years of laying in this bed, your muscles have atrophied." the man said, while hovering over the boys motionless body. Rian's face began to curl and twist with confusion. He scratched his head and peered blankly back at the man and women before him. "Who are you, and who is she? I don't know a Rian! Who's muscles?!" The boy was simply lost. He fastened his hands atop the mattress, attempting to lift his chest into the air. The boy struggled and pushed with all of his might, but he remained still. "What have you done to me! Get away from me! What the hell have you done to me!" Rian cried out as he flustered the sheets encasing his body.

"Its going to be a while Rian. My name is Dr.Robin, I am your medic" the man said, still standing over the boy. "Over there is your mom, and you my friend have a name, its R..." The medic was interrupted. "I am not his mom." Cynthia said with a vile grin painted across her face. Shaking his head, the medic continued. "Anyways, your name is Rian and your noggin took a hard hit." The boy gazed back with full attention. "You received trauma to the occipital lobe of your brain. That is the vision part of your brain. You were knocked into a comatose and remained out for three years. Due to a motionless body of three years, all of your muscles have atrophied. Meaning that they all have shrunk in size. Although bad, your in luck. The atrophy is not permanent and can be corrected through the use of vigorous exercises and workouts." Rian's jaw dropped as he was being told the story of his life. "Your one of a kind Rian, you should not even be here right now. Once you received that hit to the head, you got to us in just enough time to be resuscitated. Take this as your second chance, as well as your last." Rian cringed to know he had once been dead. "Well who brought me to you?" Rian responded. The doctor exhaled and shrugged his shoulders, "I wish I could tell you but whoever it was, they were a blessing to all of us."

A moment of silence crept across the bedroom and the three were left quiet, taking in all they just discussed. "Well, I better get going. I hope all is well. Goodbye." Dr.Robin said as he made his way to the door. The cold, still air of the bedroom sat dormant. Cynthia was the only remaining member of the bedroom. "Who are you to me" Rian asked politely. "Oh..um..I am just a friend of your fathers." Rian's look of confusion only grew stronger. "I have a dad? What is his name?" Cynthia chuckled as she cleared her throat, "your fathers name is Bane."

All of this information struck the young boys mind all at one time. He lied there, staring this woman in her eyes. "So tell me the things I missed, whats going on in the world currently?" He asked. Cynthia paused for a moment to think. "Well, in the past three years, a lot has changed. Your father got frustrated from all the money he spent to keep you in care.." she said, with a look of sadness. The old clock above Cynthia's head struck noon, and a loud bell rung repeatedly. "Well I better get going, I wanted to walk through the market before dusk."

Cynthia grabbed her belongings and set forth to the town market to purchase goods. Rian sat alone, the room was cold, dormant and sterile. The boy was sitting there, motionless and deep in thought.

Who or what did this to me... why am I still alive....why me? What makes me deserve a second life?

The questions raced through the boys head, question after question. Until Rian felt a sharp pain on his forehead, close to his temples. The pain was excruciating and unbearable. The boy raised his hands and grasped hold of his temple, swaying back and forth, the boy cried for help. Rian jumped with spasms and little control. He looked around the room, his vision became blurry and hazed, not a soul in sight.

He felt as if he had no endurance, almost as if he had already been rung out. Rian leaned forward, still holding his head instead of bracing himself for the fall soon to come. As he leaned, more and more of the floor was rising up in sight. That was it, the boy clunked down onto the floor head first and back into slumber he went.

Multiple colored dots swirled and raced across the boys shut eye-lids, as the pain still lingered. A keen smell filled his nostrils, almost as if the scent was burning wood. Rian worked to crack open his eyes only to further his confusion. Rian lay there tangled in a crawling position. Surrounding him were burning wooden houses and massive bon-fires. The dark, black smoke danced across the charred wooden scraps as the flames grew higher, reaching forth to the clouds. A faded silhouette was standing before him, Rian could not believe his eyes. The boy was staring back at a reflection of himself!

[Rian]

The figure remained still and quiet. Rian looked himself in the eyes as the flames circled the Rian and himself. "How is this happening?" Rian asked himself. The other laughed at the inquiry and started his response with a devilish grin. "I am your past, and you are my future" Rian said to himself. "Our eyes have opened once again, only this time blinded from certain events" Rian looked back at himself with mixed emotions. The boy didn't know if he should fear himself, feel comfort or simply remain clueless. "You lay there in those ashes, too weak to even stand. I seem as if I am standing a mile away, because of your lack of endurance. Rian, you are nothing, you are an empty corpse with no ability to conquer basic everyday tasks" said himself. The boy lay there, confused and attentive, waiting for the next remark or statement. "Everything has been taken from us. We were robbed of our bodies, but I can restore and revive our strength. I can return us to our zenith days and we can conquer ourselves and everyone around us," the new him offered.

The boy stared into his own eyes. He thought about the offer and how it would benefit him. Rian saw no need to take up the offer and just before turning it down, his first life spoke up. "You have slept through much, and you have no memory of how my life was, you just started yours. Let me take you back and open your eyes to how I lived my life, how we lived it."

At that very moment, the first life walked forward to the "newborn" and grasped his wrist. Flying and and twirling in a spiraling twist, the boy saw his entire first chance at life flash past him, every moment, every second, every person and place all flashed past him, until the ''two'' landed at one moment in time; one moment of the past. The two of one watched as they saw together another Rian getting jumped and bullied by other children. Watching as theirself was kicked in the ribs, punched in the jaw and thrown onto the sharp gravel.
"We are present but not noticed, this is merely a moment of our past. These boys had no reason for the pain they caused us. Do you wish to settle with that?" The boy grabbed the wrist again and through time they went. This time they landed in a new place, that woman he saw with Dr.Robin was in this scene. The lady seemed mean and somewhat rude. "Rian, watch how she treated you. Her name is Cynthia and she is your father's girlfriend." The boy said to his newer self. The two watched as they were getting screamed down by Cynthia. "I wish you weren't even in this house! Two more years and you will be eighteen and moved out! Two more years and your father and I will finally be happy. I wish you were never born. I hope you die, so your father and I no longer have to deal with your ass," the girlfriend shouted in Rians face. The newborn gazed at the scene as if it was a movie. He watched as he was verbally assaulted. The ''new-him'' spoke once again, almost acting as a narrator of every scene.
"Do you see that? She wants you dead! She wanted you to never be born! Those kids wanted you in pain. Rian! it is only fair we give back what was given to us! We must redeem our name and our life!"
The new-boy nodded in agreement. "I understand" the boy said, as his head shook up and down slowly. Grabbing hold of his hand once more they once again flew through the nether, awaiting another moment of his forgotten past. Rian was soon shocked when only he landed in a new destination, his hospital room. Once again, it was only him and cold air. Nobody else was present, not even his other self. Shocked and in disbelief the boy took a moment to take in what he had just learned. He clearly remembered the old him saying that if he took up on the offer, he would fill the new him with strength and stamina. Feeling the hesitation the boy once more grabbed the sides of the cot. He pushed to lift his chest into the air and surprisingly the attempt was a success! Surprisingly he had never felt better! Gazing at the door the boy gave a deceitful grin and took his very first step into his very new life.

[Rian]

Eyes locked on the door knob, Rian continued towards the exit. His newly taken steps were powerful. He watched as the knob crept closer. With a hesitant confidence, Rian grasped hold of the cold metal knob. He began to twist and turn the knob as his inside gut twisted as well. His heart beat grew, as beads of sweat rolled down his forehead. Opening the door, a dim light shined light on a front desk with one woman concentrated on her work. As Rian made his exit, the woman's concentration was broken. She looked up and watched as her patient continued his stumbling pursuit. "Get back in bed, I already have enough shit to deal with." Rian ignored the rude gesture and continued to slowly walk to the desk. "Get back in your damn room!" the nurse shouted, while tapping a syringe filled with a sedating fluid. One prick and the 'nightcrawler' would be sound asleep and back in bed.

"Get your ass away!" the woman cried. Ignoring the request once again, Rian was now in reach of the nurses arm. "That is it! Try this on for size tough guy!" the nurse said with a shaky voice. The woman cocked her arm back, needle held high. She lunged forward at the rejuvenated corpse Rian was occupying. Rian reached out, aiming towards the nurses wrist. The two came in contact and Rian buckled his grip onto her arm. Squeezing the wrist, Rian began to leave a red hand print on the woman's wrist, as if getting tattooed. The needle, still held high between each limb. Rian rolled his fingers up her wrist until he was touching the needle. The clear white fluid swished around inside the plastic measuring capsule. The needle began pointing in the opposite direction towards the nurse! Rian still had a free arm, just dangling at his side. He balled his fist, pulled his arm back, and delivered a blow to her gut. The woman went into shock. She let go of the needle and crumbled to the floor. Raising his arm high above head Rian came down with force, needle in hand. The nurse yelped loud as the long metal needle was jabbed up one her flared nostrils. He continued thrusting until the tip of the needle shot out of the nurses eye ball. The woman now resembled a kabob.

Rian raised up from the deep sleeping body, and felt enriched with power and control. The boy's mind began to alter once again. A voice laughed inside his mind. Nice touch! I didn't even come up with something that sadistic! Rian smiled in response and looked up at the front door. His face went pale, it seemed like all of what just happened was pointless. The french double doors in front of him were chained shut. All of Rian's good mood sank. He scrambled to the chains and began to feel out the metal with his hands. He locked his eyes on the key hole. Search the body! The voice whispered. Rian ran back to the woman's body and searched frantically for a key. He excavated the body until sliding his fingers onto a small piece of metal in the nurses coat. Returning to the chains the boy unlocked the metal and unraveled it from the door handles. The cold steel felt powerful in his hands. I won't always have a syringe Rian thought to himself. "Take it!" the voice commanded.

[Rian]

Pushing the french doors open, Rian took his first step out into a free, and new world. The moon sat low over the horizon, full and bright. The oak trees brushed up against each other, at the command of the wind. The town was sleeping. No candle light, in any house, no footsteps, besides his own. The boy went through his minds archive until remembering what his house appeared to look like. The boy, in desperate search to find his father, set off down the road. Aimlessly walking, the boy set his eyes on a bench, as remembered, that was where the boy was held up for his change by Brient, his once best friend. That kid' took a walk down the wrong road. One minute he is ignoring his best friend, the next he finds a new crowd, finally he jumps his friend for money. Brient was always the more popular of the two, always being the center of attention, and never sharing any of the spotlight'. Rian looked in disgust at the bench, as he replayed the scene in his head.

As he continued down the road, more and more places became familiar, and each held a memory once his past life lived. The boy approached the town's park. The benches, picnic tables made it seem as if it was a pleasant place to spend time in. Wrong, Rian clearly remembered taking a late night stroll around town and watched as a young woman was raped near the swingset. The boy sat at a distance and watched it, before moving on, to scared to notify an adult. Rian remembered watching the criminal look at Rian in fright, yelling "run along boy! you shouldn't be out this late!" Rian also remembered obeying the man's wishes and leaving the scene. The boy stared at that empty park in regret. Rian continued his quest in search of his father. He gazed through the darkness like an owl, trying to make out what was in the distance. The boys hazel eyes came across a small dirt road leading to a beat up fence, guarding a run down shack. Rian was in hope, that was with out a doubt, his home. A candle was lit near a window, Rian wondered if someone was home, maybe dad. As he neared, the soft dirt compressed under his feet, cushioning every step. The chains fastened as an "X" across the boy's chest clinked together, making noise that was not needed. As the door became clearer in sight, the boy's ears picked up on a sound coming from the other side of the front door. It sounded as if it was a cry of pain. Rian's heart pounded as thoughts of his father being harmed raced through his head.

Once grabbing hold of the door, Rian tugged. The door made no response. Remaining in a pull the boy rested his knee on the door, as a form of leverage. Still not working, Rian peered down at his chest. Instantly, an idea struck the boy. Unraveling one chain, and wrapping it around the handle. Rian quickly ran to the neighbor's stable, where the sleeping horses were kept. Rian quickly scanned the stable, looking for and help. That is when the boy saw a small bag of treats sitting on a shelf. He raced over, grabbed the bag and turned to seek the nearest stallion. A well groomed, black stallion lay beside the shelf. Rian crept over to the animal, bending down, the boy stroked the soft mane with his brittle fingers. "Wake up!" the boy loudly whispered. He began to shake the horses body, to aid in waking it. The horses wide eyes shot open in shock. Rian quickly reached in the bag and grabbed a treat, and held it near the horses mouth. The horse didn't hesitate. Gnawing away, the horse happily chewed the morsel. Rian took one step to the gate, and retrieved another. Holding it out, the horse was being lured. Along the way out of the exit, Rian snagged a saddle to take part in this ingenious plan. Treat after treat, the horse was nearing the chain's far end. Rian quickly grabbed the chain's end and looped it onto the saddle, tossing the saddle onto the animal, Rian reached in for one last treat. "There, now get lost." Rian said as he raised one foot, before driving it into the side of the animal's muscular body. The horse, once in shock again was startled into a run. It shot forward as an escape, tightening the chain. The horse pulled to go forward and the door without struggle, fell.

"Dad! Dad! I am back! I am alive! Da....? Dad?" Rian stopped in his tracks. Cynthia and dad were on the cot, fully nude. Stopping their actions, dad quickly shot out of bed, sliding on the nearest shorts. The man looked so funny, that even Cynthia giggled behind the man's back. "....Hey son, I have...uh..I have missed you so much and now your finally here....now...at such a great time.." the boy's father said as he swallowed his pride. "Well, sorry to leave on such short notice, but I have some business to conduct, better get going." The father said as he made his way out of the empty space that once housed a door. Rian looked around at Cynthia, that devilish grin was starting to get old. "Why did dad have to leave" Rian asked. With a deep sigh of anger Cynthia replied "What does it matter to you anyways! All you have ever done is screw things up! Your dad hates you as much as I do! Everyone does! Why! Why has this night all been ruined! How are you even standing, earlier today you fell out of b...." Cynthia stopped and braced herself. Rian walked over to the woman and leaned in to near her eyes. "If you ever say another word about me or my father, it will be your last" Rian said as he turned and made his way back into the night, leaving the whore all to herself.

[Rian]

He was completely out of the door by now, Cynthia still remained quiet, disturbed by the remark he had made. The front door was under his feet, the steel chain still tied to it. Leaning forward Rian tugged at the metal to free it from the wooden door. Placing it amongst his chest, Rian continued back down the dirt road. He didn't understand what had just happened. His dad left with no care of seeing his once dead son. Rian was approaching a block corner, when he realized where he was. This is where he had died. He played the scene over and over in his head. The boy stared at that dreadful bush with hate.

"It is ok boy, it is in your past, you are your present and I am your future." his mind's voice calmly said.

His past was quick to respond. "Don't listen to that fool, trying to get all soft with you! Rian, this is where I was killed! You lost your life at the hands of some little boy!

Rian, you are my alpha and I am your omega. You are the birth of my life, and I am the future of it. This killing, this anger, this madness, its all nonsense. You do not need to fall to knees, at the feet of your past. He lost his life and wishes to continue it through ours. It is time to rid yourself of this lifestyle. I have seen your future, I am your future. To continue being a servant of your past will only lead you down the wrong path, or worse even death.

Rian was in a blank state of mind. His past and future were arguing over his present. The boy's body began to overheat. Beads of sweat rolled down his forehead, and once again the colored dots reappeared. The boy's eyelids met as he fell to the ground.



"You will not conquer us! You had your chance and it was taken from you! Past it past, and you are dead and gone! the future yelled through the smoldering ashes.


The dark figure stood once more. Flames dancing at his feet. The thick black smoke cleared as he walked forward. "You can not stop me. You are weak! Both of you! I am the first born! I am the reason you two are even here! My plans shall be carried out! the past shouted. The two lives backed up, crouched in preparation and braced themselves for battle!

[Rian]

You will finally lay to rest! his future said to the past.

Ha! How do you suppose to kill me! How do you suppose to finish me off if you knew you would die as well! I was the first! I will never sleep! Your ignorance is quite funny, you don't realize, stopping me would be stopping you. I am the only one that can win here! The past said with a grinning smile that curved into a gesture of sarcastic sadness. The past jokingly mocked the future as if he was in fear.

Rian, still passed out near the sidewalk, was now beginning to twitch in a spastic manner. He flustered atop the dirt road, a thick dark cloud encased the boy, as the dirt rose higher. Laying there unconscious the boy had no one. Cynthia had took off, dad was out on business, and the town was once again, still at rest.

"Not you again!" a young girl cried while running to the vacant body. "I knew you wouldn't be safe! I should have never trusted that doctor!" the girl said while she began shaking the boy, trying to wake him. A tear rolled on her chin, onto the boy's forehead. As she began to cry, she continued to shake the boy. As the attempt to wake him remained, the spasms were calming. The boy began taking deep breaths, and his eyes opened once more. "Thank God! Dammit, every moment is a life or death with you..." The boy gazed back in confusion, who was she? why was she holding him? what had happened? Questions flew through the empty mind of Rian.

"You need rest, and maybe some warm milk to calm you." She said, while lifting the boy to his feet. "What do you say we go back to my place and we can properly introduce ourselves. My name is Cynthia." The young girl said, extending her arm politely.

Rian stared back, he had never met another Cynthia. He never knew there was another that lived in his village. "M..M..My name is R..Rian." the boy said stuttering in disbelief. "I know quite a bit about you Rian, more than you may believe." The girl said as she grabbed hold of Rian's hand, walking with him back to her home.

The two strolled through the town, all alone. It felt as almost the two had this village all to themselves. The cold wind, still whistled through the trees. The full moon still shined light upon the dormant houses. The two were alone, Rian walked hand in hand with a girl who has saved his life, twice. It felt good, it felt right, the girl was beautiful. "Well, here we are!" Cynthia said as she cracked open the front door. "Ha..we don't have one of those" Rian said, as the girl looked back in confusion. "What do you mean, have what?

"A front door, ironically my dad's girlfriends name is Cynthia as well, lets just say she was a bitch and locked the door. I did what I thought best, and found a way to open mine. Sadly, it meant tearing it down." Rian sighed.

The girl responded in insecurity. "Heh...yeah...that is just crazy..." Cynthia murmured, seeming as if there was more to her story. "Hey do mind if we sit down and have a talk?" she kindly asked.

Inside the home, the wooden walls shielded from the harsh wind. The candle light, perfectly lit her beautiful face. It felt right, he couldn't wait to hear what she had to say, just so he could hear that attractive voice. She was like an angel, almost is if God had sent a angel down from heaven to save his life, then save it again.

"Ok, take a deep, deep breath because this is more than you are ready for." She said. Rian braced himself, as he awaited her breath taking news. "I know about your Cynthia, I know of her very well. I know what goes on in your life Rian. You are not a normal boy, you are far from that. I want you to know, neither am I. I know about your father's girlfriend, because I am his girlfriend. That Cynthia has consumed so much of my current life, she is now present to live it. I am saying, that my future is already alive. My future is in my present, and my future is your step-mom." The girl breathed so she could continue.

"She is not my step-mom" Rian quickly blurted.

"I would've said the same thing. Rian, there is one more thing." The boy braced himself once more. What could be 'one more thing' Rian had heard it all. What possibly could be left?

"Tonight you entered your house, you saw your father and I getting intimate, right?" she asked rhetorically.

"Wow, that what you guys were doing? I just thought you were fighting naked..." Rian responded, his cheeks flushing red from blushing.

"Rian, you and I were getting intimate, that was us. You only believed that was your dad because he looked like you, well that was merely an older you. Your future is present, you saw your future walk out right before your very eyes. Rian I know what you are going through, I am going through something alike!" Cynthia said, frantically spitting words out. The boy could not believe what he had just heard. His father's girlfriend had cheated on him with Rian, his son. Rian's future had become intimately close with this beautiful girl's future. As all of it was still shocking, he was pleased to hear he had already scored.

[Rian]

Rian finished his thoughts and spoke in response. "So, why is all of this happening to you too?" Cynthia looked down at her feet. "Rian, there is one more thing.." The girl said, gazing up into the boy's eyes. "What the hell!How many one more things are you going to give me! What! Just spit it out!" Rian yelled, panting for breath. "Your fathers girlfriend is the real Cynthia, I am her past that was put in her present. Just as your future is on this earth, her past is as well, and that is me." The boy eye-balled the girl head to toe, trying to pick out any illusion appearing traits.

"So are you not even real? Your just an image?" Rian inquired.

"Correct, I am merely an image of her past. Although I am here, this is still her time to reign. She has ownership of this portion of her life, I am simply a guest."

Rian's lips curved down with sadness. The beautiful girl standing before him was no different from a picture that could talk and move. He was falling for an attractive fake. He was falling for a whore's younger version.

The boy was generating questions like an assembly line. The questions raced through his head and out of his mouth they shot. "Have you ever confronted her? Rian asked.

She exhaled deeply before responding. "I have not, I was once a voice in her head, after gaining control of the majority of the decisions she made, and the people she talked to, and the preferences she had, I was able to reside in her image, during her time. Same thing for you, your past and future have corrupted so much of your thoughts and mind they have placed themselves in the present, in your image."

"My past is here too!" Rian shouted.

"I am sorry to say, but yes. Both your past and your present live in our current time, have you ever heard that phrase, you can't be in two places at once? Well, you and I can. You, nor I have seen your past in our time, we have only spotted your future, along with my present."

"Where is he at?!" Rian asked, looking left and right.

"I wish I could tell you, but I am afraid I have no answer." Cynthia shrugged.

As the conversation progressed, a loud knocking sound was coming from the door. The two peered at the knob, as it shook and and jittered side to side. Someone wanted in, and they wanted in at that moment. The two had no clue who could be knocking at this hour. Rian sat idle, waiting for Cynthia to open the door. "Oh! I'm so sorry! Let me get that for you!" Cynthia said, with a sarcastic tone. She rose from the bed and slowly paced to the spastic knob. Her hand grabbed hold of the shaking metal, calming it to a stop.

[Rian]

As the door sat idle, Cynthia tightened her grip with intentions of pulling it open. As the door slid open. A black trench coat was masking massive black steel-toed boots. As her eyes continued up the figure, a tall man was behind the clothing, his face shadowed by a black top hat. "Um..Can I help you?" Cynthia whispered to the shadowed figure. A grinning smile peaked from under the man's hat as he replied. "She wants you gone" the man said as he barged into the house, pushing aside any furniture in his path.

Rian watched as this man continued to hide his facial features. "What do you want! Why are you in my house!" Cynthia screamed.

"She wants you dead and gone. You have been nothing more than a pest to her life, it is time that comes to an end. Everyone in this world, has a reason to die, the moment they are born. There is an oh' so long list, and you are nothing more than first in line." The man said, as he finished his remark made to Cynthia, he turned to Rian.

"You, it is time for you to know your creator as well. It is time you realize you have no ability to make your own life, your own choices, it is time you realize, your life is mine." As the man finished his words he flicked up the lip of his hat. Rian stared into his future once more. His aging hazel eyes gazed back in a deep stare. The moment was quiet, until Rian's older self spoke once more. "I am your past, living the life of your future." Rian's past had failed attempt to guide Rian's present, therefore seemed to move on to his future. Rian's past was now corrupting the boy's future. He was now alone. Every part of his life, past or future has now gone bad. All Rian was left with was himself and the very moment of which he was living. Rian took in the fact that this is who he is set out to become. This is his soon to be life. Evil and taken, the boy wanted nothing to do with his soon to be self. Although, there was no way to stop it. His future had already gone bad, before the boy could even live it.

The man returned his sight to Cynthia and slid his hand into the front pocket of his draping trench coat. A glistening piece of metal began to show. Rian's future was now wielding a long, iron switch blade. "Get over here!" The man shouted. Cynthia backed up in fear, hoping the man would be stopped. Rian took action, he unraveled his chain and cracked it forward towards his future. The long, thick metal flew forward across the room, as it roped around his future's neck. Rian leaned back, pulling with all of his might. This was the girl who he had fallen for, this wasn't the cheating trash his dad was dating, this was a kind, caring girl who had saved the boy's life twice. She was the only one Rian could relate and connect to. He couldn't watch her be harmed. The boy continued to lean back, slowing the man down. The chain's slack began to tighten and the future was beginning to choke. Rian had now fallen on his ass from leaning so far.

His future now was hurdled on the ground, grabbing at the chain, in hopes to loosen it. The shrieks that came from the man's mouth were loud and painful. The boy watched as he choked his futures life away. Rian was enraged with anger by now, his futures attempt to harm her had him raging, and the boy was now furious. He walked over to the tucked up body, desperately reaching for help. Step by step, Cynthia cried out "be careful! Please realize what you are doing!"

The man had the chain still straddled around his neck. Rian continued to tug. The man shuffled on the ground, one hand grasping the blade, the other pulling on his "metal necklace". Rian's future quickly pushed off the ground to rise to his feet, he quickly turned to Rian and hurdled forward, pushing the boy stumbling back. Rian's future switched to Cynthia, and grabbed her by the throat. The man's neck had now been torn open from the tight chains, blood drooled down the inside of his shirt, leaving a red stained trail in its path. The man's eyes were now bulging out, this was it. He could accomplish his ladies wishes. The man's girlfriend would be so pleased to hear her past is dead and gone.

Arm raised high, the man lunged closer to the girl's body. The blade shined bright as it flew down, its destination being Cynthia. The look of fright swept across her face as she realized this could be her final moment. The boy who's life she had saved, was now the man who would murder her. Right before the knife made contact with Cynthia's chest, A soaring visual came into the man's peripherals. The boy had caught his step from the stumbling, and in return, threw his body in the pathway of the blade.

[Rian]

The blade pierced through the boy's clothing, as it dug deep underneath his skin. The knifes sharp point guiding itself through the bone cage encasing his heart, until it has sliced the main artery. The boy dropped to the ground, his mind's eye watched as every moment of every memory was replayed once more. His body collapsed and his eyes began to close, holding them open long enough to look into Cynthia's eyes, the boy scrambled to say, "I..I....I....I figured....I figured I would return the favor." Those were the boy's last words, his body remained motionless and empty. His skin began to lose body heat as his limb began to get cold and stiff. The boy had died knowing he had saved the life of another.

Cynthia watched, eyes wide open. She watched as a boy died, to save her life. She watched the boy crumble to the floor, lifelessly. She looked up to the man. She yelled out, "go to hell! Damn you!" but the man stood limp. He showed no balance or reaction to what had just happened. The man began to slide out of Cynthia's grasp and onto the floor he fell. His gleaming white eye's rolled back, showing no pupil. The man had died knowing he was the future of a life, that had never lived. He died with a blank mind. His mind had nothing to replay, because it was yet to happen. He had died, empty, and seeing nothing but black, emptiness, and nothing.

The two were one, and they both remained still, laying next to each other, there was two bodies on the ground, but they made up three parts of a young boy's life. His present self, lie still, his past and future, right beside him. Cynthia was in shock, she just watched three people die, with evidence of only two, and those two were one. It all was terrifying, it all was confusing, it all hurt to see. She stared back at the dead body of the boy. Staring at his inanimate corpse, not knowing what to do next. She stared, as everything that had just happened replayed over and over in her mind.

As she continued to stare into space, her eye caught attention to a small glowing light that protruded from the boy's chest. The light grew in size and by this time was blinding. Shielding her eyes, Cynthia remained trying to watch as this miracle was happening. The light now had surrounded the body, and she watched as two transparent hands rose from the light. More and more of a bodily figure slowly gliding from atop the blinding white light. It was Rian's spirit! The boy's inner self was being lifted into the heavens, Cynthia watched in amazement. Jaw dropped, she payed no attention to the toll the light had on her eyes. The body gliding up, staring into the sky, arms stretched out, side to side. Rian's spirit had now risen past the roof and into the sky in continued. The boy continued to stare to his final destination, reaching out, as he kept his pace.

The cold night had now passed and Rian was being lifted into the heavens! Luscious white clouds surrounded the boy, as angels carried on with their everyday happenings. The boy soared though, watching angels soar past him, surrounding his flying spirit, welcoming him into the heavens. Rian was approaching pearly gates leading up to a massive tower. As Rian neared the gates, they started to slowly open. He continued passed the gates and onto the steps he went. Once at the massive double doors, he awaited a invitation to enter.

[Rian]

"Who calls?" an angel from the inside asked, Rian responded with his full name. The boy watched the massive doors slowly urge open. An immaculate angel stood before him, wings sprawled out magnificently. His golden halo, shining an aura down around him at his feet. The angel ushered the boy down corridors and hallways, along a detailed path, until arriving at another set of doors, twice as large. The angel came to a stop and turned to Rian, and before departing placed a hand upon the boy's shoulder. Right before walking off into the distance, the angel smiled and said, "you have a reason, and it is not to die." The angel removed the palm and glided away gracefully.

Rian entered the doors, only to see a pitch black room with a golden light shining down upon a throne. Rian peered in, trying to make out what was in the seat of the massive chair. "I am your creator, I am your omega, and your alpha, and everything in between." The voice sounded god like. The sound of the voiced echoed throughout the room, sounding peaceful and accepting. "Throughout your life, you have had false prophets, you have seen deceitful things. Rian, you were put on this earth, to follow in my footsteps, you were meant to answer in the name of your god."

Rian peered back in awe. His body began to ache, as the boy lashed around in front of the almighty figure seated before him. Rian felt the skin of his shoulder blades begin to crackle. A transparent, heavenly wing flapped out of each gash. Tears of repent rolled down the boy's face. As his wings settled, his head began to lash back with unbearable agony. No wound, no gash, just unrelenting pain. A golden ring began to ring around, above the boy's head. A halo was being presented above his hair. Rian lie there, at the mercy of his god. He stared up in amazement, at his creator. He took in the heavenly might and power the figure had shown. The god had spoke once again, "you have been taken from earth, your past, you, and your future had been touched by the hand of evil. This Rian, is truly your second chance. Walk in honor of me, for there will be no third."

At that very moment, Rian realized he still could return, he realized it was not all over. Joy overcame the boy's body as he took his new body out for a spin. He felt different, he felt entirely like a new person, he felt as if he had taken on the mindset of another. He soared through the clouds, waving to every angel he had passed, "hey! Check these out!" the boy joyfully shouted to a group, they turned and snickered in humor.

He realized this was his chance to become something, or even someone. He realized this was his time to shine. He wanted to prove to his almighty that he was worthy of this halo. He realized this truly was his second chance at life, and it was of benefit to make it count.

[Rian]

((Spoils!- Rian now has a golden halo, hovering over his head.

-He now has large, white angelic wings, with the skill of minor flying.
(He still doesn't exactly fly on earth, and crashes trying)

Minor Flying- Rian can get off the ground by the use of his wings, but still has trouble keeping a steady level and speed, and it is hard for him to keep in one direction))

[Duffy]

Judgement Scores

Story (14/30)

Continuity (4)

Setting (5)

Pacing (5)

Character (14/30)

Dialogue (4) Sub-standard but shows promise, keep the inner speech and try a a few more creative adjectives and metaphors and this'll polish up in no time at all. A huge gripe is the modern teenage speak, although the attitude is probably universal to all possible plains, the use of modern words and turn of phrases not only detracts from your character's presence, but breaks the illusion that you are 'playing a role,' that you're even in Althanas to begin with.

Action (5) Basic action descriptions and a slight grasp of keeping the action in check, nothing extravagent nor lacking.

Persona (5) We get the generic sense of 'greatness to come' from Rian but try not to fall for the trappings of your everyday run of the mill paladin/cleric type - give us something unexpected!

Writing Style (14)

Technique (5) There's heavy use of internal speech/thought, which is fine, as is your overall technique, but try to avoid using the same pronoun too often. Hearing Cynthia every other line is not only repatative, but shows a lack of imagination. Even a slight change in description can 'mix it up,' such as 'the blade shined down, it's destination the young girl's torso.'

Mechanics (4) Some grammatical errors present, good grounding for further threads however. Not much use of advanced techniques, remember to format speech correctly, you put. "Jack said." in a solemn voice. It should be "Jack said," in a solemn voice. (To paraphrase).

Clarity (5) Following the past/present imagery and the conversation is a difficult task. It takes a re-read (or did for me,) to get a jist of what exactly is happening. Perhaps a few rudimentary lines with a descriptive paragraph could've simplified this somewhat?

Wild Card (6) Points mainly subtracted here for the typos/spelling/grammer - things you can easily pick up with a scan before posting, or a good grammar checker.

Total 48/100

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You have earnt 472 experience points, and 116 gold!

Spoils:

Halo and Wings tentatively permitted, I've had it on good authority you won't overuse or over extend permission, so have fun with them - start with it weak and a low gold aura halo, then you can be shinin' in no time! Welcome to Althanas and keep up the good work!

Duffy

[Taskmienster]

Exp and GP added!