Omegle

[Mouse]

I was sad that Althanas forgot my birthday today, so I took it out on Omegle and had some fun with strangers. You guys should post your better conversation bits, too. :D

Stranger: usa
Stranger: u?
You: The same.
Stranger: small world
You: Yep. How could it possibly be that we could both have internet access in a technologically sound country that takes up half a continent!? It's crazy, that's what it is.
You: This is fate.
Stranger: yep thats it
You: I'm going to read our tarot cards because I think you're the one for me.
Stranger: m/f?
You: Well, that depends.
Stranger: um on what?
You: Before or after September 2nd?
You: That's when my surgery is scheduled.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

[BlackAndBlueEyes]

The last thing Althanas needs is an Omegle thread.

Christoph, having recently discovered Omegle himself, keeps on posting his trollfests in our AIM window. Until I started retaliating with random lolcats.

We do not need to encourage him, kthnxbai.

[Mouse]

Well, Andy, then gtfo and let Christoph come have fun with me. :)

[Christoph]

Yeah, Andy! Manda understands. Incidentally...

You: Ask me three questions. They can be anything.
Stranger: wut is yer politicul ideolojy?
You: What is my political ideology? Christ, man. That's the worst abuse of English that I've EVER seen.
You: Incidentally, I'm a libertarian.
You: That means I believe in your right to suck and be stupid without the government trying to help you.
Stranger: yer an a-hole
You: An a-hole who understands English.
You: You might as well just leave, and find some other stupid person to have a big idiocy orgy with.
Stranger: who r u to dictate to me to me?
You: Dictate to you to you?
You: How about I save you the trouble and leave? Maybe you can find some chick with a webcam or something more suiting to your intellectual level.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

~~

See, I at least make an initial effort to have an interesting conversation. Omegle just doesn't usually cooperate.

You: Ask me three questions. They can be anything.
Stranger: u a hot girl?
You: … Way to be uncreative. No, I’m not a hot girl. I’m a guy who doesn’t need the internet to see women naked.
Stranger: so ur going to hell
You: … …says the guy trolling Omegle for women, dumbass.
Stranger: but without physical attachment
You: Actually, the bible is very clear that sins of the heart are equal to sins of the flesh.
You: Bitch.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

~~

After a while, I got bored with actually trying to have a decent conversation, and shook things up a bit with some more legit trolling:

You: Hello. I am superior to you in every conceivable way.
Stranger: no your not u douche
You: I'm superior enough to actually spell out words and use English properly.
You: Though I'm sure the utility of that is beyond your limited intellect.
Stranger: i bet ur from somewhere shit like new zealand
You: Of course not, but I'd expect you to think something like that.
You: Being inferior and all.
Stranger: Actually my primitive friend; it isn't
Stranger: You're inferior.
You: Oooo... now we're talking.
Stranger: You stupid fucking monkey.
You: Haha!
You: This is great. Apparently, this is all anybody needs to actually act intelligent.
You: I just have to lord superiority over you and you have a strong inverse reaction.
Stranger: I don't "act" intelligent I am. You on the otherhand...
You: Okay, you're slipping again.
You: I suppose it was just a facade on your part. That's depressing.
Stranger: Actually it isn't.
You: See, and your defensiveness proves your inferiority. If you were actually confident in your superiority, you'd shrug and go with the flow.
You: Apparently, you have something to prove.
Stranger: By the way; you are an enormous douche bag.
You: Yes, yes I am.
You: But an intelligent one.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.


And don't worry, Andy. There will be plenty more where that came from. =p

[Mouse]

Stranger: jon
You: Nice to meet you Jon.
You: Tell me, do you have life insurance?
You: If not, it's never too late to start thinking of the future.
Stranger: no
Stranger: o
Stranger: ok
You: I'm a representative for Colonial Penn life insurance, and if I could just have a minute of your time, I'd like to point out all the pros to being well prepared.
You: Especially in this day and age, eh Jon?
You: You didn't die on me, did you Jon?
You: Ha ha!
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

[Christoph]

I took Manda's life insurance idea and went a step further:

You: Why hello, there. What's your name?
Stranger: ( )*( )
Stranger: butthole
You: Yes, I can see that. Tell me, stranger, do you have life insurance?
You: If not, it's never too late to start thinking of the future.
You: You never know WHAT might happen.
Stranger: i dont wanna listen to ur pitch
You: At 2:39 PM tomorrow, for example.
Stranger: wat?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

[Odachi]

THIS. PROGRAM. RUINS. LIVES. *cry*

[Visla Eraclaire]

I think that any trolling exercised via Omegle is flawed at its very core. You're being automatically connected directly and anonymously to someone who is likely just another troll, or else so bored that they are using the service. I don't think that making someone anonymous that you connected to at random disconnect is much of a win. I cannot imagine anyone using the service is even slightly phased by the sort of stuff people say. This is doubly so when the trolling consists of "I type properly and you do not, ha ha (http://images.encyclopediadramatica.com/images/7/79/HA_HA_GUY.jpg)!"

TL;DR - FAIL

[Christoph]

Well, you are the expert on all things Troll, eh Visla? =p

[Visla Eraclaire]

Well, you are the expert on all things Troll, eh Visla? =p

Yes. Less failed trolling, more finishing that topic you continue to IM me about daily without posting.

[Christoph]

Now, now. You aren't getting jealous of a chat site, are you? Afraid that I might start finding it more fun than our battle? Don't worry, Visla. You're the only troll for me. ;)

[Visla Eraclaire]

I'm actually eager for it to be over. That's why I insist that you get on with it and quit nancing about. You've harassed me on AIM to such an extent that I dread that topic and wish it to be disposed of forthwith.

I'm not trying to be cute or funny. Not that this topic is particularly high-minded or deserving of deference, but I'm not going to clutter it further.

[Lord Anglekos]

You: WHO LIVES IN A PINEAPPLE UNDER THE SEA
Stranger: SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS
You: SOMETHING AND SOMETHING AND POROUS IS HE
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

And this one...

Stranger: : ………………….._,,-~’’’¯¯¯’’~-,,
………………..,-‘’ ; ; ;_,,---,,_ ; ;’’-,…………………………………………….._,,,---,,_
……………….,’ ; ; ;,-‘ , , , , , ‘-, ; ;’-,,,,---~~’’’’’’~--,,,_…..,,-~’’ ; ; ; ;__;’-,
……………….| ; ; ;,’ , , , _,,-~’’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ¯’’~’-,,_ ,,-~’’ , , ‘, ;’,
……………….’, ; ; ‘-, ,-~’’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;’’-, , , , , ,’ ; |
…………………’, ; ;,’’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;’-, , ,-‘ ;,-‘
………………….,’-‘ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;’’-‘ ;,,-‘
………………..,’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;__ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ‘-,’
………………,-‘ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;,-‘’¯: : ’’-, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; _ ; ; ; ; ;’,
……………..,’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;| : : : : : :| ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ,-‘’¯: ¯’’-, ; ; ;’,
…………….,’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ‘-,_: : _,-‘ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; | : : : : : :| ; ; ; |
……………,’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ¯¯ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;’-,,_ : :,-‘ ; ; ; ;|
…………..,-‘ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ,,-~’’ , , , , ,,,-~~-, , , , _ ; ; ;¯¯ ; ; ; ; ;|
..…………,-‘ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;,’ , , , , , , ,( : : : : , , , ,’’-, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;|
……….,-‘ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;’, , , , , , , , ,’~---~’’ , , , , , ,’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;’,
…….,-‘’ ; _, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ‘’~-,,,,--~~’’’¯’’’~-,,_ , ,_,-‘ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ‘,
….,-‘’-~’’,-‘ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; | ; ; | . . . . . . ,’; ,’’¯ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ,_ ; ‘-,
……….,’ ; ;,-, ; ;, ; ; ;, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ‘, ; ;’, . . . . .,’ ;,’ ; ; ; ;, ; ; ;,’-, ; ;,’ ‘’~--‘’’
………,’-~’ ,-‘-~’’ ‘, ,-‘ ‘, ,,- ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ‘, ; ; ‘~-,,,-‘’ ; ,’ ; ; ; ; ‘, ;,-‘’ ; ‘, ,-‘,
……….,-‘’ ; ; ; ; ; ‘’ ; ; ;’’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ‘’-,,_ ; ; ; _,-‘ ; ; ; ; ; ;’-‘’ ; ; ; ‘’ ; ;’-,
……..,-‘ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;¯¯’’¯ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; , ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;’’-,
……,-‘ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ,, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; |, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ‘-,
…..,’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;,’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;|..’-,_ ; ; ; , ; ; ; ; ; ‘,
….,’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; | ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;,’…….’’’,-~’ ; ; ; ; ; ,’
…,’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;’~-,,,,,--~~’’’’’’~-,, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;,’…..,-~’’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ,-
…| ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ‘, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;,’…,-‘ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;,-‘
…’, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ,-‘ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ,’….’, ; ; ; ; _,,-‘’
….’, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ,-‘’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;,’…….’’~~’’¯
…..’’-, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;_,,-‘’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ,-‘

Stranger: KOM T 1SOUCIAN ! :bave: :hap:

You: HOLY SHIT, BAT MAN!

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

[Arsène]

Stranger: Did you hear that this Christoph guy speaks really good fucking English?
You: No shit?
Stranger: Yeah. He knows hyperbole and metaphors and shit.
Stranger: Also, he's a libertarian. He's a libertarian that spells shit really good.
You: I bet he gets all the pussy.

[Aiko]

Dare I ask where this Omegle is found?

[BlackAndBlueEyes]

omegle.com

Silly.

[Christoph]

Omegle can only be found in a hidden cave beyond a river of fire guarded by trolls. Look toward the sun on the third morning and you will see it.

[Amaril Torrun]

You: Is your name Christoph?
Stranger: no its Jess
You: Really?
Stranger: yes really
You: Wow, that's awesome
Stranger: why would I be called christoph?
You: I don't know... Why would you?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

[Visla Eraclaire]

You: Is your name Christoph?
Stranger: no its Jess
You: Really?
Stranger: yes really
You: Wow, that's awesome
Stranger: why would I be called christoph?
You: I don't know... Why would you?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Successful.


Stranger: Did you hear that this Christoph guy speaks really good fucking English?
You: No shit?
Stranger: Yeah. He knows hyperbole and metaphors and shit.
Stranger: Also, he's a libertarian. He's a libertarian that spells shit really good.
You: I bet he gets all the pussy.

Successful.


Omegle can only be found in a hidden cave beyond a river of fire guarded by trolls. Look toward the sun on the third morning and you will see it.

OMG SO RANDOM!!!! ^_^_^_^_^

[Aiko]

Omegle can only be found in a hidden cave beyond a river of fire guarded by trolls. Look toward the sun on the third morning and you will see it.

I tried that, and I found a nameless horror looking back at me that filled me with fear. Is this normal?

[Lord Anglekos]

I tried that, and I found a nameless horror looking back at me that filled me with fear. Is this normal?
Yep.
Back to the omglol-ing.

You: Hello, Random Stranger.
Stranger: hello, mars
You: Mars=heaven.
Stranger: or should i call martian
You: No, just mars will do.
Stranger: ok
Stranger: m/f?
You: Pffsh. I have no gender.
Stranger: oh
You: Or rather, should I say, I am EVERY gender.
Stranger: can u be my pet
You: IMBECILE.
Stranger: gay,lesbo,straight
You: Mars=no pet.
Stranger: everythg?
Stranger: i thought mars aliens are pets
You: Only if there's tentacles.
You: No tentacles for you, pretty boy.
Stranger: im not a boy
You: Your penis says otherwise.
Stranger: i dont any penis
You: LE GASP.
You: Shemale?
Stranger: omgee
You: Naughty.
Stranger: hahaha
Stranger: good one
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

[BlackAndBlueEyes]

I tried that, and I found a nameless horror looking back at me that filled me with fear. Is this normal?

Are you sure you didn't stumble upon 4chan by accident?

[Relt PeltFelter]

Omegle is kind of fun, in a melancholy way. Unlike you sadists, I try to have a nice conversation and brighten other folks' day. It's a bit sad to know that there's a near-zero probability I'll ever speak to them again.

[streak101]

Hahaha! I love this thing!


Stranger: hi! 18 m turkey u? do u have a msn?
You: Hi
You: Do you like Mudkipz
You: I like mudkipz
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

[NightCast]

Stranger: lol does it bother you tht i dnt type perfect
Stranger: Like this.
Stranger: or Like this?*
You: I tend to write in my spare time, which is why, out of force of habit, I type (and text) with good grammar.
You: But, no, it doesn't bother me.
Stranger: can we be textin buddies !
You: Now I'm at a loss for words lol.
Stranger: lol why
You: You have a space between "buddies" and your exclamation point.
You: XD
Stranger: so lol
Stranger: youre sposed to say yes !
You: Haha. Was I?
Stranger: YES
Stranger: SO IM STILL WAITIN
You: I hope you don't wait too long.
Stranger: lol fine you dnt hav to be my txtin buddy
You: Haha.
You: There was just something that discouraged me from saying "yes."
You: It could be the "Talk to strangers!" heading on this window.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

** I borrowed Pedo bear for this one, I couldn't pass up the opportunity.

Stranger: iam brazilian horny girl 21 y-old looking a horny boy with cam
You: ………………….._,,-~’’’¯¯¯’’~-,,
………………..,-‘’ ; ; ;_,,---,,_ ; ;’’-,…………………………………………….._,,,---,,_
……………….,’ ; ; ;,-‘ , , , , , ‘-, ; ;’-,,,,---~~’’’’’’~--,,,_…..,,-~’’ ; ; ; ;__;’-,
……………….| ; ; ;,’ , , , _,,-~’’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ¯’’~’-,,_ ,,-~’’ , , ‘, ;’,
……………….’, ; ; ‘-, ,-~’’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;’’-, , , , , ,’ ; |
…………………’, ; ;,’’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;’-, , ,-‘ ;,-‘
………………….,’-‘ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;’’-‘ ;,,-‘
………………..,’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;__ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ‘-,’
………………,-‘ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;,-‘’¯: : ’’-, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; _ ; ; ; ; ;’,
……………..,’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;| : : : : : :| ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ,-‘’¯: ¯’’-, ; ; ;’,
…………….,’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ‘-,_: : _,-‘ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; | : : : : : :| ; ; ; |
……………,’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ¯¯ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;’-,,_ : :,-‘ ; ; ; ;|
…………..,-‘ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ,,-~’’ , , , , ,,,-~~-, , , , _ ; ; ;¯¯ ; ; ; ; ;|
..…………,-‘ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;,’ , , , , , , ,( : : : : , , , ,’’-, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;|
……….,-‘ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;’, , , , , , , , ,’~---~’’ , , , , , ,’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;’,
…….,-‘’ ; _, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ‘’~-,,,,--~~’’’¯’’’~-,,_ , ,_,-‘ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ‘,
….,-‘’-~’’,-‘ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; | ; ; | . . . . . . ,’; ,’’¯ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ,_ ; ‘-,
……….,’ ; ;,-, ; ;, ; ; ;, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ‘, ; ;’, . . . . .,’ ;,’ ; ; ; ;, ; ; ;,’-, ; ;,’ ‘’~--‘’’
………,’-~’ ,-‘-~’’ ‘, ,-‘ ‘, ,,- ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ‘, ; ; ‘~-,,,-‘’ ; ,’ ; ; ; ; ‘, ;,-‘’ ; ‘, ,-‘,
……….,-‘’ ; ; ; ; ; ‘’ ; ; ;’’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ‘’-,,_ ; ; ; _,-‘ ; ; ; ; ; ;’-‘’ ; ; ; ‘’ ; ;’-,
……..,-‘ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;¯¯’’¯ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; , ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;’’-,
……,-‘ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ,, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; |, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ‘-,
…..,’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;,’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;|..’-,_ ; ; ; , ; ; ; ; ; ‘,
….,’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; | ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;,’…….’’’,-~’ ; ; ; ; ; ,’
…,’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;’~-,,,,,--~~’’’’’’~-,, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;,’…..,-~’’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ,-
…| ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ‘, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;,’…,-‘ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;,-‘
…’, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ,-‘ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ,’….’, ; ; ; ; _,,-‘’
….’, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ,-‘’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;,’…….’’~~’’¯
…..’’-, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;_,,-‘’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ,-‘
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

[Cyrus the virus]

This is bad.