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BattleMage
10-05-09, 08:24 PM
Name- Derrick Magnum
Gender- (Alpha) Male
Age- Elf
Race- 20




Appearance-
Hair: Shaggy black hair
Facial Hair: Stubble that is trimmed daily to keep Derrick looking trendy.
Eyes: Blue
Body: Not up to par with his peers with height or muscle. He is just a skinny framed short elf, with a handsome face.
Height: 5'4"
Weight: 130 pounds
Skin: Tanned
Clothing: Derrick wears clothing that he thinks provide him with sex appeal. He wears a black tunic that is unbuttoned almost to his waist. For leggings he has some worn out leather pants that sag slightly over his brown leather boots. On his head he wears a black “Bandana” that was given to him by a friend.

Equipment-

Weapons: Astra: [(Materials:100% Badass Oak) Height: 5'] The bottom half of Astra is carved into a spear point so in the case that he needs to fight straight up melee he can perform to his best. From the spear point Astra starts to widen up to the top that loops into a perfectly carved wooden ball that stands at the top of the staff.

Armor:Fire-Fist: A leather glove that is plated with steel on each knuckle. The gloves really don’t provide any defensive attributes.

Miscellaneous:
A small canister called “Soul Vessel” he has found no uses for it yet, but it fits perfectly into his staff Astra.

Skills/Spells-

Active Skills:

Speed: Above Average: 150% of a average humanoid.

Strength: Significantly Below Average: 50% of an average humanoid.

Staff and Blunt Fighting: Below Average: 75% of an average humanoid.

Spells:

Weaken: Has the potential to lower the strength of his target, has 40% Chance to hit any target regardless of level.
Level 0: Weaken by 25%
Level 1: Weaken by 10%
Level 2+: Doesn’t effect
Can use this twice in quests and once in battles(Characters level 0-1 choose if it works on them), lasts 2 posts.

Defizzler: A counter spell that must be cast during the conjuring of the targets spell. Fizzles the spell down till it turns to nothing. Cannot be used against instant spells.
Level 0: 50% Chance of working
Level 1: 10% Chance of working
Level 2: 5% Chance of working
Level 3+: 0% Chance of working
Can be used twice in quests and twice in battles.

Multiplication: Can make multiple animate copies of himself. This spell weakens him drastically. The copies can fight and have all the same equipment that he currently possesses. Copies cannot cast any spells though.
1 Copy: Weakens Derrick by 50%
~ The copies either last until Derrick dies or faints, or until they die, or three posts; whichever comes first.
~ Can use only once in either a quest or battle.

Wood Welder: Can repair wooden items that are oak or lesser wood, to their full original state.
Can Use Once in a quest or battle.

Summoning: None yet.




Brief History-Childhood - Level “0 :
Unknown to even Derrick. One day he woke up in a small inn in Underwood with his staff Astra. He awoke next to a prostitute named Cheyenne, from that point on his whole life goal has been drinking and hussies.

Mutant_Lorenor
10-05-09, 09:31 PM
Welcome to Althanas, BattleMage.

You have an interesting Character concept however, its much too powerful for a level 0 Character. You have way too many Skills for a starting character package. I understand that you're trying to give your Skills some weaknesses but we'll go over everything one at a time.

@First of all nine Skills is way too much. Please pick four Skills that you want to keep.

@You have to choose between Speed or Strength. Around here we don't really use percentages. You have to pick 1.5x's the rate of a normal human being or around there. But 1.5 is good. For Speed, you can start off between 10-15 MPH's if you choose Speed and then build up from there.

@You have to pick up to Average Skill for your Blunt and Staff fighting. And leave it at that. Also you have to pick either one of the weapon types should you decide to pick this Skill set.

@Spells. You have far too many.




Weaken: Has the potential to lower the strength of his target, has 40% Chance to hit any target regardless of level.
Level 0: Weaken by 25%
Level 1: Weaken by 10%
Level 2+: Doesn’t effect
Can use this twice in quests and once in battles(Characters level 0-1 choose if it works on them), lasts 2 posts.


This spell is way too powerful. I can see it being power-gamed very easily and on Althanas we don't power-game. I recommend re-writing this Spell.
Or locking it all together. I just see it becoming abused way too easily.



Defizzler: A counter spell that must be cast during the conjuring of targets spell. Fizzles the spelldown till it turns to nothing.
Level 0: 50% Chance of working
Level 1: 10% Chance of working
Level 2: 5% Chance of working
Level 3+: 0% Chance of working
Can be used twice in quests and twice in battles.


This Spell is also potentially too powerful. We don't power-game on Althanas. The way it is currently written leaves too much chance for abuse. Get rid of it for now. At a higher level you can get a -similar-, albeit, weaker Spell.



Multiplication: Can make multiple animate copies of himself. This spell weakens him drastically. The copies can fight and have all the same equipment that he currently possesses. Copies cannot cast any spells though.
1 Copy: Weakens Derrick by 25%
2 Copies: Weakens Derrick by 50%
3 Copies: Weakens Derrick by 75%, can also cause him to faint or even die.
4 Copies: Instantly cause Derrick to die.
~ The copies either last until Derrick dies or faints, or until they die, or three posts; whichever comes first.
~ Can use only once in either a quest or battle.


You can probably keep some version of this Spell. A level 0 should only be able to make one copy of himself, and significantly weaker at that.





Blood Weaver: Derrick can control small amounts of blood (Up to 3 ounces) that are within a short distance of him (Up to 20 feet.) He can manipulate the blood into different shapes or just hurl it at enemies at mildly high speeds( Roughly 20 mph.) When he manipulates blood, it has the same strength as silver.
Can use 3 times for either a quest or a battle.




@Specify that the blood comes from NPC's only and you can probably keep some version of this Spell. Twenty feet is too high a throwing distance, try between five-ten feet. 20 MPH's is probably too fast. Try 5-10 MPH's to be fair. Silver is too strong a tier level for a level 0 Character. Try Iron.



Wood Welder: Can repair wooden items that are oak or lesser wood, to their full original state.
Can Use Once in a quest or battle.




@All though this is a crafting skill, I see potential for abuse. State that you can only make up to Average quality Items. You can't craft Masterwork Items yet.

Make these changes, decide what you wanna keep and we'll talk further.

Taskmienster
10-06-09, 11:32 AM
I’m going to step in for a moment, and explain a few things. First, 1.5x average is the exact same thing as 150%. No, you don’t have to change percentages into decimals, since that’s semantics and not necessary.

Currently, you have 150% strength, which is what we commonly allow for a level 0 character, however you have 50% speed which is actually lessening your strength from average. So you do not have to change that. Also, your skill set for the staff and blunt weapons doesn’t need to be changed, since you have it at below average.

There are certainly too many spells, however they are rather weak.

Weaken :: The weakening of the level 0 characters would still make them 25% stronger than your base. So that is fine. Just be careful with that in the future, since if you increase your strength and increase the amount at which your opponent is weakened, you could potentially be creeping into dangerous category.

Defizzler :: If it must be cast during the building of a spell, then it theoretically shouldn’t be useful against instant casts. If that is the fact, then you will be fine with the spell. The effects of the spell are based on the opponents interpretation, which means they decide if it work or not. That’s also fine.

Multiplication :: It’s fine, if you have just one creation, and it weakens you by 50%. At this level, only one should be made.

Wood :: As long as it is just repairing items, not creating new ones, the spell is fine how it is.

Other than that, it’d be best if you dropped at least one of the spells.

BattleMage
10-07-09, 08:27 PM
I am grateful for all the help! Thank you Task for basically understanding the points I was making... I'm sorry Lorenor for not clarifying my character with you sooner..

I removed the blood weaver, because it was probably to strong and not needed really.

Edited Multiplication.

And the wood spell is to repair my staff because it is only oak and my only weapon.

Taskmienster
10-08-09, 09:23 PM
APPROVED!

Welcome to the boards.