Rough Seas

[Revenant]

(Closed to Chosen of the Gods)

William once again stood at the entrance to the famous Citadel of Radasanth. The massive structure loomed over him like the avatar of some forgotten god of battle, beckoning to all that passed to sample the simple joys of besting an opponent. Though the stone edifice sat silent and resolute, William could feel it calling out to him with promises of flesh, bone, and steel. The raw yearning for life-or-death struggle that the Citadel inspired quite literally set William’s blood on fire.

Feeling the fire in his veins spread, William quickly broke himself from the reverie that the Citadel had lulled him into. Long ago the infernal sorcerer Kal’Necroth had used forbidden magic to merge a demonic spirit with William’s soul, turning the former woodsman into a revenant. The essence transformed him into an aspect of the demon itself, stronger and more resilient than a normal man, but exacted a terrible price on his flesh. The raw power of destruction that flowed through William burned him with demonic hellfire, charring his flesh to ash even as his strength swelled. The only thing that kept the demon from reducing William to rubble was the third spirit that Kal’Necroth had bound into him, a spirit of life that continually restored his body and regenerated the portions that the demon’s fury burned away.

Wisps of smoke and a trail of dusty ashes flowed from the thick wool overcoat that William used to hide his demonic transformation from prying eyes and blackened the heavy bandages that he continuously kept wrapped around his exposed flesh for the same purpose. As William entered into the small waiting room he focused his mind on calming the demon’s rage, breathing in deep, slow breaths to regain control of himself. He had recently learned much more about controlling the demon’s urges, but was still powerless to fight back if the transformation progressed too far.

William waited for the approach of one of the Ai’Bron monks who tended to the Citadel and its supplicants, calmly letting the rage subside from his skin to resume its natural place as a buzzing in his mind. As he looked around, William was once again struck by how much larger the Citadel seemed from the inside. He shifted the weight of his pack and idly swayed back and forth until he was greeted by the approach of one of the Citadel’s monks.

“Welcome back to the Citadel, applicant.” The monk greeted William with a slight bow. William was taken aback at the monk’s words, for the previous time that he had come to the Citadel, the monk that had greeted him had been silent to the point of unnerving even the hardened revenant.

“I, uh, thanks,” William stuttered in a hoarse, gravelly voice that obviously didn’t get much use. “I’m surprised anyone would remember me from my first time here.”

“The Citadel remembers all of those who enter it.” For a moment, the monk’s phrasing made William remember once more the impression that he had gotten outside of the Citadel as a living entity but shook it off as coincidence. The monk just smiled at William.

“I some questions before I fight, is that ok?” William asked.

“Were it not acceptable, I wouldn’t respond,” the monk continued smiling, though William couldn’t tell if there was any real mirth in the man’s eyes. “If it is within my power and ability to answer, I will.”

“Thanks,” said William. “Are the, uh, visions and stuff created by the Citadel in the fighting chambers real? I mean, they’re just illusions to enhance the combatants experience, right?”

“What you experience in the Citadel is only as real as you make it,” the monk answered cryptically. “Except, of course, for your opponent.” This time William detected true mirth in the monk’s tone.

“In that case, I have a special request to make for my combat arena.” William couldn’t believe how shy he was being, as if this were the lewd request of an inexperienced boy propositioning a lady.

“Oh?” The monk seemed genuinely interested.

“You see,” William explained. “It’s hard for me to control the rage inside me. I hear the demon’s whisper in my head all the time, urging me to do violent things. But the last time I came here, I intentionally summoned up the demon and let it loose.” William couldn’t believe he was saying these things to a complete stranger, but the monk merely continued to smile at him.

“But you don’t regret that decision.” It was a statement, not a question. Again, William wondered how the monk knew these things.

“No. I’ve always lost control when the demon came over me. When things got really bad, I couldn’t even remember what I had done during the rage. The Citadel was the first time I had done that, and when I did, I found that I actually had some control over the rage.” William looked at the monk sheepishly. “At least for a short period. Something broke my concentration and the rage overwhelmed me again.”

William paused, expecting the monk to say something, but the monk just continued to smile at him.

“I need to learn to maintain concentration to better control the demon,” William continued when it was apparent that the monk had nothing to say. “I’d like to have a battle with a lot of chaos going on to distract me so that I can learn how to maintain focus.” The monk shrugged as if he didn’t agree with William’s methods, but continued smiling as he gestured for William to follow.

Like the previous time he had been to the Citadel, William soon lost his way in the structures winding maze of corridors. The monk didn’t seem fazed as he quickly weaved through the Citadel’s innards, leading William to a simple alcove. With a wave of his hand, he gestured for William to enter.

“Thank you, er…” William realized that the monk had never given his name.

“I will make you a deal,” the monk smiled, “I will give you my name when you can control your demon.”

“That sounds fair,” William smiled back at the monk, suddenly put more at ease by the realization that the man was rooting for him to overcome his problem. “My name is William Arcus.”

“Of course it is,” the monk’s smile displayed a hint more mirth as he bowed and departed, leaving William alone in his alcove.

William looked out and watched the monk leave for a moment before turning to the iron bound door that led from his alcove into the battle chamber. As he had done his first time, William removed his pack, heavy overcoat, and stripped his woolen garments to the waist. The buzzing in William’s mind increased in pitch as he reached for the door, and he could feel his excited heart pumping boiling magma under his skin. With a quick pull of the handle, William opened the iron bound door and stepped inside.

The world heaved around William and his head slammed hard into a solid surface. The sudden burst of pain was all he could think about until, a moment later, the world pitched again. William was knocked backwards, off-balance, and then the floor was out from under him and he was sailing through the air. William landed hard and felt something in his chest separate. The demon’s rage surged forward, threatening to overwhelm him.

Instinct took over and his willpower pushed back against the demon before William come back to his senses. Forcefully breathing deeply, he grabbed at the inferno raging in his blood and coaxed it forth. The pain from his cracked head and ribs subsided into the general torrent of pain that accompanied the fire cracking and blackening William’s flesh. The flesh of his fingertips and lips parted to give way to infernal claws and shark-like teeth. The revenant let himself float free for a moment, fully experiencing the transformation, before coming back to his senses.

Taking stock of the arena the battle chamber had given him, William realized that he was inside the passenger cabin of a traveling ship that he had once sailed upon, the Crystal Mae. The cabin continued to lurch violently and William could only assume that the Crystal Mae had been caught in a storm, and a pretty bad one at that. Furthermore, now that he had his wits about him, William recognized the sounds of other people outside his cabin door, wailing and shouting in a mishmash of languages. Realizing that one of those voices was his prey, William lurched unsteadily to his feet and braced himself against the violent motion of the ship’s decks.

Slowly, William made his way to the cabin door, stopping every so often to brace himself when a larger swell would violently toss the ship’s decks about. Each time, William had to fight to maintain concentration on the demonic fury that filled him, but he managed. He lashed out with a swipe of his clawed hand when he reached the door, smashing the portal open. A grin of anticipation curled his charred lips back as he pulled himself into the passageway, eager to find his prey.

[Chosen of the Gods]

Ahk'Ran watched the clouds above him as he stirred uncomfortably in his bed. The silken sheets felt smooth to his rough desert tanned hide and what should be comfort was only causing him to itch. He reached over to scratch his back when a gentle slap hit his wrist.

"No scratching." a calm voice said to him in a motherly way. Ahk'Ran looked to the nurse lowering his lips into a pout.

"Please," he begged. "It's so damned uncomfortable!" The nurse sighed running her nails along his back and he fluttered his eyes in ecstasy. "Ah, your touch is like a gentle desert vixen." The scratching stopped immediately.

"Good news today," the nurse said lifting up his chart and making a few notes upon it. "Your fight's wounds are all healed up. You can leave or fight or do whatever you wish."

"Praise the Sun!" Ahk'Ran tossed the silk sheets off him. He turned his body quickly and felt the warmth of the earth dig into his feet. He smiled taking in a deep breath.

He felt light headed as he clutched the top of his forehead in his palm. His body felt woozy as he repressed the urge to vomit upon the ground. The nurse laughed politely as she lent her arm out for him to grab hold of. He took her aid and stood.

"You need to be a little more careful. You've been in bed rest for two weeks after that fight." Ahk'Ran shuddered.

He had previously fought a man named Regal Burnswidth, the so called Demon of Swords. The fight they had was titanic, but in the end it was only when the inhuman swordsman lurched from the murky waters screaming like a demon Jackal before unleashing a powerful wave of energy into Ahk'Ran's chest splitting him nearly in two.

It wasn't death that had frightened the Fallien desert warrior. It was the demon's message he left in his wake. Every human had the potential for darkness, it was only by the gods that the darkness was hidden. Ahk'Ran could feel his own inner darkness, the powerful call lumbering inside his heart. He turned away from such callings, giving himself to the gods. His repentance was dying.

The doctor's in the citadel had told him he was asleep for one full week, and he rested the second week mostly by sleeping. It was only the last few days he felt his strength return. He even had the energy to give thanks to the rising sun this morning. Now he was told he could go out into the world again.

"Many thanks to you, my desert Vixen." Ahk'Ran said softly as he gently touched the nurse's elbow. She was a stalky pale elf, each movement so graceful that it nearly brought Ahk'Ran to tears. Only with his imagination could he ponder the things he could accomplish with such agility. Her white hair was bunched into a tight pony tail and her emerald green eyes looked to him.

"I am not your play thing." She teased back. "Now take care of yourself, Ahk'Ran. You understand my feelings when I say I do not wish to see you again." she smiled revealing a dazzling white set of teeth.

"But of course." Ahk'Ran took a few steps on his own, and when he felt comfortable he marched out of the infirmary. He approached a desk and waited for a few moments until a monk appeared.

"You must be Ahk'Ran. I'll have your things for you in a minute." The monk turned to leave and gather up Ahk'Ran's possessions. He twirled leaning against the marble counter and noticed a doorway was forming. He watched as many warriors stepped back and looked inside.

"A sea battle?" one muttered.

"No way, that shit gets people killed." another backed away.

"Could be interesting, but I already got a fight." all the warriors were making meaningless excuses and Ahk'Ran's heart twinged. His warrior pride was starting to act up and he felt a calling deep within him. When the monk returned he picked up his weapon and pointed to the door.

"Who is fighting in that match?"

"So far? Nobody." The monk said with a smile. "That can easily change." he hinted. Ahk'Ran barred his teeth in a devilish smile. He marched forward and entered the portal.

The other side was nothing he was prepared for. Rain fell upon his skin and he had trouble seeing in the storm. His feet had very many difficulties keeping flat and on more than one occasion he nearly fell. People were screaming at him in massed panic as they pushed his body of their way. He felt his heart beating quickly as he swallowed deeply to keep his own emotions in check.

He looked to the gray sky and found no trace of the sun. Only the darkness of the clouds was his omen of the battle to come. He looked at the sign in the sky and nodded once.

"I understand!" He shouted to his gods. "For forsaking you in my weakness I must earn my place at your feet again! I shall fight in this battle without your aid and claim victory!"

He looked to the confusion again searching for the hunter that stalked in the depths of this storm. "I am Ahk'Ran Kopesh! I am chosen by the gods to fight you on this day! Show yourself so that we may fight like honorable warriors!"

((If you do not wish me to join, fair enough, I'll delete the post.))

[Revenant]

I asked for this, William chanted to himself over and over. This was my choice. Everything around the interior of the Crystal Mae was in rolling turmoil. The walls and floors heaved with no discernible rhythm as the raging sea slammed repeatedly into the ship’s keel. Unsecured doors swung freely, slamming against the walls with thunderous report. And throughout the entire hold of the ship, passengers bounced back and forth, hollering in panic and scrambling to secure a way to the ship’s rain-slicked deck. There was no sign, however, of anyone resembling the warrior that William expected to face.

With no established prey in sight to distract him, William felt the demon urging him to strike out against the soft, fleshy targets that ran around like frightened sheep.

They’re not real, William thought. The monk told me so. Conflicting emotions clashed within William, which was all the excuse that the demon needed. William’s vision swam red and his hand slash out, claws of iron sliding smoothly through the flesh of a middle-aged woman who strayed too near.

The woman cried out in surprised pain, a yelp quite different from the cries of the other panicked passengers. The entire passageway quieted as everyone seemed to see the cracked, raw meat of the burning revenant. The chaos that ensued made the previous moment’s panic seem orderly. Men and women clawed and fought against each other to escape from the killer in their midst.

William stabbed through his first victim, ending her cry with a quick twist before advancing on the others. His movements were erratic now, heedless of the ship’s violent tossing. More than once, he was slammed against a wall or sent sprawling on the tilting floor, but always he advanced, ripping and tearing at the tender flesh that surrounded him.

It only took a minute for William to hit the soaked floorboards of the stairwell that led to the ship’s exterior but already a dozen corpses lay twisted and lifeless behind him. The revenant climbed the stairs like a beast, scrambling on hands and knees to keep from falling back into the interior as the Crystal Mae bucked beneath him. More flesh, quivering and unspoiled waited for him outside.

Thunder roared across the heavens as William tore himself free of the ship’s hold. The pouring rain of the storm sizzled as it fell upon his molten, smoking frame and washed the spattered gore that covered the revenant’s arms from elbow to claw. Below him, the prey scrambled across the slick deck like caricatures, seeking refuge from the demon in the heart of a storm. One of the preys, however, did not scramble from him. It stood firm and resolute in the storm calling out against him.

Pulling himself to his full height, William leveled the burning coals of his gaze at the prey, a tall, tanned thing.

“It is a fool that seeks to challenge this one,” William’s voice boomed like cracking charcoal.

[Chosen of the Gods]

Ahk'Ran looked at the raving lunatics eyes, seeing in them a depravity that he couldn't stomach. His fists were covered in blood and the wolfish grin he held had some stark memory that sparked within the core of the desert warrior.

Regal Burnswidth

Feeling his blood turn to ice he took two steps back holding both hands on the wrapped hilt of his Kopesh. He could see the lost madness inside this warrior's eyes and he couldn't stomach the fear he felt standing before such a creature of pure darkness.

"Are we haughty of ourselves?" Ahk'Ran spoke, hints of fear consuming his tone. He damned himself realizing no words were going to spark his courage. The man was just so too similar to the demonic visage he fought before.

He took a fleeting look around the coursing boat. Innocents were keeping a wide birth from the beast before Ahk'Ran, looking to him like a maddened killer. He saw children running out of the hole he crawled out of, bleeding badly from a score of wounds.

His heart wavered seeing the destruction and he looked back to his opponent. Its grin never faltered, but instead intensified. He had wrought destruction in the name of violence of sadistic glee. Ahk'Ran felt something twinge inside his heart. A spark. An ideal.

He wrapped all his feelings around that spark, and felt warmth enter his bones. With the feeling of courage returning to his body he charged forward swinging his Kopesh in wild, violent arcs.

"A beast like you has only place in the world to live," he seethed in challenge. "That's face down in pits of hell! I shall cleave your black heart out and offer it to the Jackal headed god of the dead so that you may learn of your misdeeds, foul demon!"

[Revenant]

Impossibly, it seemed that the storm was still rising in intensity. The clouds above, heavy and gray, coalesced and swirled. Foam from the swelling whitecaps filled the air and made the slashing rain thick and heavy. The howling wind slashed across the decks of the Crystal Mae, stealing the words of William’s prey.

The defiant bellows, fervent prayers, and pleading sobs of the prey always amused William, as if anything they could say would move the uncaring gods to intervene, or would give the revenant pause from the slaughter for which it was created. This prey might as well have commanded the storm that raged around them to cease than to spark any amount of caring into William’s molten core. The only thing that moved William was the hesitant fear that drove it back, the natural instinct to flee from something more wild and deadly.

This prey was no different. Though it might had believed itself an experienced dealer of death, hardened towards the horrors that challenged it on the battlefield, William shattered that illusion. No prey had yet been truly ready to face the full brunt of the horror that the revenant’s existence thrust upon them. But William only had a moment to savor the results of the prey’s flight instinct before the prey’s actions reversed.

The Crystal Mae stilled into the slow, dropping roll that prefaced the arrival of another massive wave, but for a moment the ship’s deck was stable. Seizing the moment, the prey charged forward, bellowing a curse of defiance against its fate and swinging its blade wildly. The prey’s fear drove it forward in a furious assault, lashing out against the terror that the revenant instilled. It was a common reaction and, feeling more in cognizant control of the rage than ever before, William was prepared.

Grabbing the damaged wooden hatch which covered the stairwell he had emerged from, William heaved with all of the might the burning power in his blood could muster. The tortured brass hinges, already worn from the violence the hatch had experienced during the storm, parted easily from the water-logged wooden frame. With a demonic roar to shake the heavens, William tore the hatch from its mounting and hurled it at the onrushing prey, hoping that the inhuman force of his throw would carry it past the whipping winds.

[Chosen of the Gods]

Ahk'Ran's weapon cleaved through the air as the howling wind whistled in his ears. The beast had darted backwards and with inhuman grunts it tore the door right off the hinges and tossed it at the desert warriors face.

Thinking quickly to preserve his life Ahk'Ran rose his blade upright and placed a hand on the back of the head. When the wooden dorr hit he was able to push off the brunt of the attack, but the force was still enough to send him sprawling in the air in circles until he felt his cheek collide upon the wooden floor.

The rain splashed onto his face and he groaned placing one hand upon the boat and pushed himself up looking for the beast. He found it looking at him, its grin never faltering. He stood to his feet and ran forward, but his steps became confused as a powerful wave hit the Crystal Mae and knocked its course in a different direction. He felt his body lose its center of gravity as his feet lifted upwards into the air and he crashed onto his back.

He knew even the beast would have lost his footing, but where it was probably more accustomed to the sea, Ahk'Ran was not. His desert heritage didn't have any glorious sea raids that he had heard of and he found his stomach rolling worse than the waves of the sea.

When the boat righted itself he looked to find the beast again glaring at him as if sizing up a decisive charge. He looked around the boat for something to aid him in the fight and his eyes fell upon a central mast. There were ropes, thick ones and a plan began to formulate in his mind.

No matter what boat sailed Althanas, they all had one central mast that was to hold the largest of the sails. In storms like this the sail was to be tied up so that the boat wouldn't capsize and overturn.

His sandals splashed against the deck as he ran for the mast, his weapon held in a two handed swing as he aimed for the ropes. If he wouldn't be able to get his bearings, he would deny that to the enemy as well.

[Revenant]

When the thrown door crashed into William’s charging prey, the revenant threw his head back and roared a deep throated laugh. Playing with this prey gave the revenant more enjoyment than mindless slaughter ever had.

I can’t believe I’ve never done this before, he thought as he watched the desert warrior scramble to get back to his feet, grinning at the its determination to regain balance and charge once more. His clawed hands twitched in subconscious desire. Come then prey, embrace your death.

Being completely focused on his opponent, William failed to notice the Crystal Mae hit the bottom of the trough and was caught completely off guard as the looming swell slammed the ship. The deck fell out from beneath William and he was suddenly sailing free of the bucking ship.

The world spun in William’s vision as he cart wheeled through the slashing rain, and the only thing he could make out was the foamy, churning water beneath him. A scream of frustration whipped was lost in the howling gale as the darkness reached up to claim him. Just as he plunged into the abyss, the railing of the Crystal Mae shot up, rebounding from the solid wave that had pushed it down.

The impact of the rail, forced in a spin by the rolling wall of water, collided with the flailing revenant and catapulted him across the deck like a slingshot. William slid across the sodden deck at high speed and slamming into the strapped down cargo barrels at the Crystal Mae’s bow. Renewed pain erupted from the ribs that William had cracked upon entering the Crystal Mae, dwarfing even the throbbing numbness that came from his charred flesh.

William rolled over and thrust himself up onto hands and knees, taking stock of the situation. Many of the ship’s screaming passengers were gone, tossed free of the heaving deck during the wave, or washed straight over the decks by the water. The prey was still there however, and like him, it scrambled to its feet. A wave of rage washed over William as the desert warrior looked at him.

This ends now! The demon roared in William’s mind and he coiled to spring, a countercharge for the prey’s assault.

The prey had other ideas and suddenly burst into a run for the thick timber of the mainmast. William thought the prey was fleeing, now that it saw the murderous intent in his eyes, but a quick look up the ship’s mast at the restrained yardarm and sail told William the prey’s real intent.

The prey realized that it didn’t have to beat William in combat by itself and sought to use the ship against its demonic opponent. Roaring at the prey’s temerity, William hurled himself forward in a dead sprint, launching himself at the prey with claws outstretched in an attempt to stop the man.

[Chosen of the Gods]

The other wordly howl of frustration loomed behind Ahk'Ran's ears. He could hear the scraping of claws across the wet wood as it roared in challenge. The beast had caught onto his plan. With renewed vigor he sped up as he charged forward and slammed the Kopesh into the first set of ropes.

With a wet 'thwap' sound the first of the tied down knots released and it flew into the air upwards slapping the desert warrior in the face. Pain surged through his right eye as he instinctively brought a hand up to nurse his wound. Unlike certain other people he met, he couldn't just shrug off pain.

This moment of lapsed time gave the revenant a chance to gain on him. It was only by a miracle he was able to swing his Kopesh forward in time to block the first blow. The claws managed to push him him back, but his strength wasn't anything abnormal. Had he the time Ahk'Ran would have laughed. He was expecting this beast to be amazingly strong, fast and agile. He was pleased to learn he was wrong.

With new found courage he stepped back and held his weapon at the ready, waiting for the next beasts attack. It hesitated, only slightly, before pulling back. Ahk'Ran felt his warrior instincts screaming to charge the beast, but he remained calm.

It may not have the strength i was expecting, but it is only a fool that accepts facts without proof. One hit isn't enough. He slowly moved forward in a determined two step process. One foot slid forward, the other carried up and over. It was a slow and methodical process, but the only way he could think to move without losing his footing in this storm.

He stopped when something caught his eye to the right. It was a tied down rope. He turned to slam his blade down, and the beast screamed at him. Ahk'Ran turned to find why the revenant had softly backed away. He was previously standing not two paces next to the final rope.

He dashed for all he was worth as he brought the large Kopesh down in a violent arc, a portion of the rope breaking. He lifted up and slammed down again. This time the rope was mere inches from being cut apart.

He felt his fingers slip on the wet leather of his weapon and he fought to regain control as his opponents steps echoed across the deck. He fumbled and missed the rope entirely as his anxiety took over. Cursing himself he lifted again in a shallow cut. He it the rope, but it wasn't deep enough to snap it.

He could hear the beast getting closer.

"Damn you!" Ahk'Ran seethed in frustration as he lifted his weapon up and then down one last time.

[Revenant]

A surge of panic welled up in William’s chest as he watched the prey’s blade swing for the thick knot for the third and final time. He forced his limbs to move as fast as he could, but the throbbing pain of his broken ribs chest slowed him more than he cared to admit and it would still take some time for his restorative properties to kick in enough to reset the bones. He reached through the driving wall of rain that separated him from his prey with all of the force that the pain in his chest would allow, but it was too late to stop the other warrior’s strike.

The thick bracing rope parted sharply, snaking violently across the deck as the massive wooden pillar of the yardarm went into freefall. A hideous, grinding screech like the death cry of a massive beast boomed across the deck of the Crystal Mae, and the terrible shot that rang out as the yardarm slammed into place dwarfed even the violent storm. The tortured groan of the pinions that secured the yardarm indicated that they had received tremendous damage from the weight of the yardarm slamming into them.

Behind the yardarm trailed the mainsail, a massive sheet of waterproof canvas that had been secured against the violent storm which rocked the transport vessel. The howling storm winds that filled the sail caught the Crystal Mae and violently spun the ship like a top.

William’s legs buckled under him as the storm filled sails pushed the bow of the ship down into the water, catapulting the ship into a near vertical stand. Shrieking, the revenant scrambled for purchase as the floor fell out from under him and the churning waters raced to embrace him.

Slamming his claws into the wood of the deck in an attempt to stop his descent, William was rewarded. The iron hard nails bit into the water logged planks and, through they groaned in protest, the planks held the revenant’s weight.

As he hung from the deck, William took a quick look around to regain his bearings. There was no sign of his prey and he could only hope that the warrior had taken a plunge just as William had. It appeared that the few remaining passengers not swept out to sea by the massive wave had already been lost in the morass below. Around the ship numerous waterspouts touched down indicating that the Crystal Mae had become the central focus of the ever increasing intensity of the storm.

In time with the increasing storm activity, the storm winds surged about the half-sunk ship with a furious new vigor. William could clearly hear the strained screech of the mainmast under this newest assault. He recognized the sounds of wood being pushed to the brink of flexibility and realized that the mast would soon snap under the force of pressure the full sail exerted, which would hopefully right the ship.

William struggled to maintain a hold on his tenuous grip until then, but another wave slammed into the upturned keel and, like the hinges of the door he had wrenched off earlier, the saturated wood parted beneath his claws. Flailing wildly, William plunged backwards into the storm tossed waters.

[Chosen of the Gods]

Ahk'Ran wondered what he was thinking before. His body became a plaything of the gods as he soared in the air like bird, crashing into one of the smaller sail masts. He heard something inside him crack and he shuddered as his body hit the railings.

A quick take of his surroundings and he realized the ship was almost sailing on its side. The storm's ferocity had peaked again as if angered the Crystal Mae would not sink. He looked to the heavens but found only angered clouds of storm gray.

He felt something heavy slam into his foot and he cried out in pain looking down to see what it was. His kopesh was laying there and he irritably thanked the gods for returning his weapon to him. He placed the weapon in his sash securely before he looked for the Revenant.

Water mixed with blood as it dripped down his face past his right eye. He lifted his tongue to lick the salty tang. He could feel all his injuries as one throbbing pain and the salty water of the sea only intensified the hurt. He looked out overboard and saw the storm swirl the ocean below.

"Great god of the water!" Ahk'Ran protested. He didn't know anything about the oceans or the dangers it posed to him. The best he cold speculate was the water was forming in a swirling whirlpool like quicksand attempting to drag the Crystal Mae to the depths of the ocean floor. No matter what was happening, he knew it wouldn't be good.

He felt panic twinge in his heart making him falter in his steps. He knelt to the deck below holding the railing in fear. He looked to the heavens again. "Gods of the world! Please beseech thee! I am your humble servant!" The storm raged on.

"I am nothing without your glory, I am pitiful without your grace!" he continued, bellowing over the winds. "Please help me find the strength and the courage to finish this fight in your honor!"

By coincidence or divine intervention, the storm let up for a fraction of a moment. The clouds still swarmed, but like a charging army a pocket formed in the lines letting a ray of sunshine fall through. The mast of the Crystal Mae had given in, the wood snapping at last as the large log of wood and metal slammed down on the boat smashing the railing aside. It slid off the boat into the maelstrom never to be seen again.

Without the sails to leave the Crystal Mae to the mercies of the sea the ship immediately righted itself. Ahk'Ran slid into the center of the boat right underneath the ray of sun and he looked up to the bright orb. He did not flinch at the suns mighty rays, though his eyes did narrow.

With deft hands he lifted up a sacrificial knife from his sash and cut his right arm shallowly from his wrist up to his elbow. He took one of his bags of sand and ripped it open with his teeth dripping the contents onto his wound. He felt the fire of the sun burn away his weakness and he seethed at the pain he felt.

"Blessed be the Sun, who brings me the strength of a new day!" he cried out to the heavens. He felt a surge of energy fill his arm numbing the pain as it glowed brilliantly in the darkness. "Thank you, mighty god of the sun! I shall take your strength and offer this victory to you!"

With a renewed vigor he turned to find his opponent bellowing a challenge. The sun's light was cast back into darkness as the storm filled the gap. The raging wind howled in his ears doubts as the rain slammed into his body, but Ahk'Ran did not falter this time.

The gods had blessed him, how could he fail?

[Revenant]

Everything was chaos. William couldn’t even form a coherent thought, let alone act upon one as the raging storm waters closed over him and threw him around. He could merely flail violently as he tumbled through the raging sea, the raw animal urge to survive taking over. It was only by random chance that the revenant caught onto a lip of the Crystal Mae’s submerged railing, thrusting his claws into the planks as an anchor in desperation.

The bones and tendons of his wrist twist in an unnatural way and a thousand icy needles lanced his arm as the swirling maelstrom caught him and sought to tear him from his wooden sanctuary. Gritting his teeth against the pain, William willed his clawed hand to close tighter and though the swirling waters whipped him around by his arm like a pennant on a windy day, his anchor held firm.

The grit of the salty water grated like sandpaper on his the revenant’s cracked flesh. Holding his breath became agony as the air in and his lungs burned with the same hellfire that flowed through his veins. It had only been a few seconds, but William’s mind had already focused to a sharpened point, and his existence was nothing more than one flowing moment of endless pain.

And then, suddenly, William was free, jerked out of his watery prison by the righting of the Crystal Mae. Again, acting purely on instinct, William looped his free arm over the ship’s rail and hoisted himself back onto the ship’s main deck.

Blinking the saltwater away from his burning eyes, William’s mind processed three things. The first was that his initial assessment of the mainmast’s strength had been correct. The force of the sail had snapped the trunk of the mainmast in two, no doubt the catalyst for his salvation.

The second was that a whirling maelstrom had formed with the Crystal Mae as its focus. In contrast to the battering the ship had previously taken by the raging seas, the rain lashed deck now rocked relatively gently as the ship was caught up in the swirling whirlpool forming beneath it.

The third thing that William noticed was that his prey, though well-battered, remained on the ship. William wasn’t familiar with the prey’s form of magic, but had been around enough mystics to know that the prey was performing some form of ritual in the last of the dying light the maelstrom’s creation had let through the cloud cover.

It still has the temerity to think it can challenge me, the demon roared in William’s mind. The red haze throbbed in his vision now, blocking out everything except for the desire for this prey’s blood.

William tried to advance on his opponent but found that he was still caught up in the rail that had held him through the storm. The force of the ship’s righting had snapped the thick tendons of William’s wrist and forearm, rendering that arm useless from the elbow down and thus he could not willingly let go. Without a second thought, William braced his feet and heaved against his wrist.

The pain of his action was intense, but by this point it was just a drop in the stream of agony that flowed through his entire body. On the third heave, William heard the splintering crack of the bones and his useless hand, twisted and mangled, came free.

“It still stands before me!” William roared at his prey, attracting the man’s attention. “The ship couldn’t stop me, the sea couldn’t stop me, and it cannot stop me.” William snarled, losing more and more control to the rage with each second.

“This one’s rage is eternal. Should it manage to pierce and hack this one today, this one shall return, untouched by its pathetic attempts to destroy us. We are hell, and pain, and fire.” William screamed as he charged at the readied warrior, losing himself completely to the demon’s fury.

“We are your death!”

[Chosen of the Gods]

What was once just a crazed deluded beast now stood a mindless rage driven monster. Ahk'Ran watched as the beast ripped itself free of the wooden prison, screaming in agony and anger as it seethed at the mouth. It willingly reduced one arm to nothing but a useless flailing object in its quest to destroy the desert warrior.

Where once Ahk'Ran knew fear and terror, now he only knew pity for the terrible cretin. It's inhuman howls of hatred bellowed at him, but the desert warrior would let none of its words pierce him.

"For your own good I'm going to put you down!" Ahk'Ran whispered in reverence as if he was making an oath. He charged forward with kopesh in hand as the beast lurched forward in earnest. When they collided the force of their impact made the desert warriors ribs hurt. He slammed down with is weapon beating the flat edge against the skull of the beast knocking it away.

The revenant howled again as it tossed itself at Ahk'Ran slamming into him. The two tussled towards the ground as they poked and prodded to gain the upper hand. With a wet thunk they impacted against the wooden flkoor of the Crystal Mae.

Ahk'Ran's glowing fist held the fangs of the beast back as his other hand gripped the creatures good wrist. They held like that for a few moments as the desert warrior looked into the black coal like eyes of the monster before him. He saw the depravity of a man who had lost himself to madness and his warrior pride choked at him.

Before him was a man who had given into his darkness, before him was the manifestation of what the Demon of Swords tried to tell him before. This was it, in the flesh. Before him was the manifestation of a man who gave into his darkness. This was the power Regal had spoke of. That inert tap of strength inside every man that the gods hid.

Once Ahk'Ran faltered. Once he thought about the devious temptations it whispered into his thoughts. Once again those deviant voices spoke into his ears as he struggled. Look at what you can accomplish! they spoke.

Once again he would not stray.

With the last reserves of his energy in his arm he cried out the name of the sun god, using it as a bastion of strength to overcome this beast as he pushed it off of him. He regained his feet quickly as he sprinted towards the beast, leaping in the air for added momentum to bring his fist down in a hammer blow across the right eye of the monster.

As it reeled back from the blow he swung his arm out again back handing the revenant and following up with his kopesh. The blade sung through the air as it made a whistling sound, his target the beasts neck.

"Die, monster." Ahk'Ran said in disgust.

[Revenant]

Flashes of lightning lit the deck of the Crystal Mae, and if there was anyone left with attention to spare, they would have sworn that the electrical forks lit up in tempo with the struggling warriors who fought each other tooth and nail on the rain slicked decks below. The ship itself spun in ever tightening circles as it neared the deadly center of the whirlpool beneath it. All signs pointed towards the culmination of the combat between the desert warrior and the raging demon, either through the defeat of one of the exhausted, battered men, or through the destruction of the Crystal Mae itself.

The demon’s chest heaved with the already tremendous amount of exertion that it had put out during the match, the overwhelming rage driven back by sheer exhaustion. The golden glow which had suffused the prey’s arm had made it inhumanly strong, far stronger than William was able to swiftly deal with. The strength enhancing glow was beginning to dissipate, but before it could completely fade, the prey made a last forceful assault which sought to end the fight.

Two quick, heavy blows broke through the revenant’s defense. William could sense more than see the scything blade that was arcing in a lethal strike towards him. Given the rigors that he had already been through, William knew that it wouldn’t be much longer before the demon would be forced back behind his eyes, but it hadn’t released its grip on him yet. Knowing that, given enough time, the spirit of life which was bound into his flesh would repair even the most vicious of wounds, William hurled himself into the blade’s arc.

Precision swordsmanship had aimed the blade of the khopseh as a deadly strike at the revenant’s throat, but the desert warrior hadn’t intended to strike at the closer target William’s lunging form presented. Instead of slicing into the flesh of the revenant’s neck, the curved blade connected with William’s torso, sliding effortlessly in a downward angle that lodged in the center of William’s sternum. Hot, steaming blood flowed like thick syrup from the deadly wound, but the demon was beyond caring.

Seeking a final act of violence, William thrust the claws of his functioning arm forward, aiming them like a spear at the center of his opponent’s chest.

[Chosen of the Gods]

The last and final strike of the revenant came at a terrible price. It had sacrificed its entire being to the whole slaughter of the enemy. Like a trident of mythical darkness his taloned fingers reached out to claim Ahk'Ran's heart.

The desert warrior didn't have the time to move backwards, his blade lodged to deep as the hot blood covered his face. He felt the claws pass through his leather armor with a grunt, before popping through and piercing him in the upper left deltoid.

Ahk'Ran howled in anguish, his body unable to control the spasms of pain. His heart beat rapidly and he felt like it was longing to break free as one of his lungs burned as if stuck in a forges fire. He cried out long and hard over the wails of the wind. With energy seeping out of him he collapsed to one knee then falling over. The revenant's body was latched to his chest, his claws dug in all the way to the knuckle. Not an inch of the beast moved, its black eyes glossed over.

He felt tears fall down his face as he slowly turned his head to look around him. No fairy tale ending presented itself a the madness of the storm raged on. With all the chaos nature had mustered Ahk'Ran still felt at peace. The melee was over, he was victorious.

He looked around the Crystal Mae and noticed they were still sailing in a circle. The boat was still trapped in the maelstrom and he realized his victory was very hollow indeed. He pulled himself to the railings, the beasts claw still embedded within him, looking over the edge into the abyss below. He estimated he had about five minutes to figure out a way to survive or drown in the depths below.

Looking down at the dead body lodged inside his own he sighed deeply cringing in pain. "I'm going to die." he muttered. His eyes felt heavy as he looked up to the heavens, searching for some calm in this madness around him.

At last he found a portent of his gods. A solitary bird flew in the storm majestically, un-phased by the natural disturbances around it. The sign was common in his lands; Should a bird fly over the field of battle, you have fought valiantly and served the gods well. He lifted his kopesh up in salute weakly, his breaths getting more and more shallow. He gave into his pain, softly closing his eyes.

"Praise be the gods," he whispered. "Who give me life in this world." he felt his chest heave. "Praise be the sun god, who gives me the light of a new day. Praise be the earth god, who is the foundation of my soul. Praise be the god of death, who will ferry me to the halls of everlasting life. Praise be the gods, for I am their chosen son."

Ahk'Ran's chest heaved one last time, his eyes shut tight. With a shallow shudder his body gave out to the blood loss, his collapsed lung at last filling with blood. His heart beat quickly, then slowly, then slower. At last he died, with the enemies hand still engraved into his chest.

~*~*~

"Well, so much for listening to me." Came a gentle voice. Ahk'Ran's eyes fluttered to life as his head craned over to see the elf nurse. He cracked a huge grin as looked to her.

"Desert Vixen," he wheezed weakly. "I had to see your beautiful face again." The elf shook her head disapprovingly, but her grin betrayed her emotions.

"Try not to talk, Ahk'Ran." she warned as she bent over and rubbed his arm with a soft wash cloth. "You took damage to your lungs. That strain will only push things backwards from the progress you have made."

"How long?" he asked. The elf stuck him with a needle and shrugged.

"Oh, about a four days this time. Far better than your last match."

"A personal best." he mused. He coughed violently sitting upright. After he stopped his fit of coughing he remained seated upright. He looked to his sheets and felt his brow furrow in contemplation. "How is he?" he said in barely a whisper.

The nurse was taken aback. She leaned in closer to see if he would repeat the words, but he didn't. He just remained quiet intensively looking to his sheets. "William?" she said at last. Ahk'Ran didn't move.

"The beast, the demon I fought." He said after a momentary pause.

"He is well." She admitted.

"Hmph." Ahk'Ran sunk into his covers and turned his back to her. "People like him are cursed creatures. They are vile, cold and unable to feel love." He felt his fists tighten under his sheets. "His ilk are worthless to this world. They are here as a blight upon this land and only death seems to cure them of their taint.

"People like him are the kind that hide in plain sight, look you in the eyes and dare to make a promise; A promise of brotherhood and friendship. A promise you should always strive to keep! But no, his kind take those empty promises and use them as fuel to enrage the fires inside their black hearts."

Ahk'Ran looked down to his kopesh. "Twice that weapon has cut into the flesh of a demon." He reached out and touched it. The cold metal warmed his blood as he focused his anger. "It will not be the last either."

The nurse touched his shoulder gently as she interrupted his thoughts. He turned looking at the elf in her stunning emerald green eyes. She had a knowing smile on her face, like a woman who had heard the starting of a speech like this many times.

"You start your journey with blood, and it will only end in blood." She said sagely as she kissed her fingers and placed them gently on Ahk'Ran's lips. She turned away from him and walked away gracefully.

He thought about her words. What he was thinking was going out into the world, killing any demon who he would find. He would clear the taint in the name of the gods, but the elf was also right. Ahk'Ran would have to be careful to tread down such a road. Or he may find himself the same as Regal and William before him.

Those thoughts alone unsettled him all through his dreams.

[Revenant]

Though the wounds he had taken would have been fatal to most, by the time the Ai’Bron monks had made their way into the battle chamber to recover the fallen combatants, William had already begun to heal. Still, the monks had done their best to speed his recovery and he was up and about even quicker than he had expected.

William chuckled as he removed the medical bandages the monks had wrapped him in, only to re-wrap himself in the heavy woolen bandages he used to cover his exposed skin. For now the demon was quiet in the back of his mind and he could have easily passed as a normal human, but experience had taught William to be overly cautious when it came to such things.

He had just finished donning his heavy traveling cloak when a soft knock on the door drew his attention.

“Yes? Come in.” The door opened to reveal the smiling face of the monk who had first greeted him upon his return to the Citadel.

“Well you certainly delivered on my request,” William laughed as the monk entered the room. “I don’t think it could have been possible for that arena to have been any more chaotic.”

The monk shrugged, as if to say “You asked for it.”

“It was stupid of me to try to force control over my rage in those circumstances,” William said, shaking his head in a self depreciating manner.

“It was definitely foolish,” the monk replied, “though as long as you learned something, I wouldn’t call it stupid.”

“That’s the thing.” William’s face darkened, losing all of its joviality. “I’ve been thinking about it since I woke up, but I’m afraid to admit it.”

“You unhesitatingly faced death in a maelstrom but you’re afraid to admit something to yourself?” The monk’s words were mocking, but the grin fell from his face, as if it couldn’t maintain the façade of his words.

“I think,” William began, hesitantly, “that I actually was in control. Through most of the fight I was able to think freely rather than just lashing out at everything around me. I even spoke to my opponent. I’ve never been able to speak when the rage came over me.

“And the worst part,” William’s voice dropped to a low whisper, “was that I enjoyed it. I didn’t want to enjoy it, but it just felt right.”

William looked at the solemn faced monk with pleading eyes.

“What does that mean?”

The monk stared at William for a few seconds before shaking his head.

“I told you when you first arrived that I would answer any question within my power and ability. Alas, I cannot help you here. This is your own mystery to solve.”

William let out a long sigh, seeming to deflate in front of the monk. A pained look crossed his features before he pulled up his woolen scarf, hiding his features.

“Would it be alright for me to talk to the man that I fought?” William asked. The monk nodded and gestured for William to follow. The monk quickly took him to another small recovery room. William nodded his thanks before slipping inside.

The desert warrior who had valiantly stood up to William lay convalescing in his bed. William wasn’t sure if the man was asleep or not, though he made no motion acknowledging William’s presence.

“I don’t know whether or not you would welcome me,” William spoke quietly enough that he wouldn’t disturb the man if he was indeed sleeping, though loud enough that he could hear if he wasn’t. “But here I am regardless.”

“I was not always the creature that you saw.” As William spoke, he wasn’t entirely sure if he was talking to the desert warrior or to himself. “Though I expected to walk a different path, I was shown that sometimes things in your life change that you have no control over.”

“At first you struck me as an honorable man,” William continued, losing himself to his words. “But I know what I saw hidden in your heart.”

“Though this in not what I had expected of my life, choose to keep on the path of my destiny.” William quietly began to exit the room, looking back one last time.

“What about you? Will you choose to live under the shadow of the one who seeks to hold you back? Or will you free yourself from his constraints and come forth to be who you really are?”

And with that, William was gone.

[Duffy]

Rough Seas

Welcome, gentleman, and my humble apologies for the lateness of delivery, so I will get straight down to it with a very light judgement that’s wham bam thank you mam and to the point! Revenant’s score is the left one, Chosen of the Gods the right; simples!

Story (19/17)

Continuity (7/6)

Revenant’s flow between posts was impressive, amble connections between start and end. Chosen’s been plausible, and readable, and certainly well done, but lost out on the victory in face of stiff competition. Simple way for the both of you to improve this is to write your posts 2-3 at a time as a coherent block, and then work on picking an appropriate point so simply cut a chunk out and post it. It’s a simple but easy technique to improve this score, as well as pacing, for that matter.

Setting (7/6)

Again, both of you aptly brought the ship and the battle and the environment to life with all senses present and correct at least in part. Revenant’s dialogue and use of simple but effective chained descriptions coined him the mark, whilst Chosen’s dialogue brought the setting/atmosphere to life more so than the physical, concrete or even metaphorical description.

Pacing (5/5)

Pacing was competent but not enthralling, improving the continuity score and tempoing dialogue and action is difficult to pull off with excellence and flair, but work on continuity with the above suggestion and the rest should follow. It certainly wasn’t enough to detract from an otherwise good piece of writing from the both of you!

--

Character (16/18)

Dialogue (5/7)

I am enthralled by the aristocratic vocals of your character, Chosen, the combination of somewhat cliched lines with well rehearsed and appropriate, natural dialogue contributed to your success hear. Revenant, you have the makings of a good dialogue rhetoric here, by all means, but the internal reflection you both use heavily throughout, the topic of demons and gods, clashes with the nihilistic tendencies. Don’t be downheartened by anything I say at this stage, a 6 is a solid score and reflects an understanding of speech in writing; I don’t want to offer any advice at this stage, but will sure to help out the both of you after seeing more writing from you, preferably in a different style (to see progression).

Action (4/5)

Repetition is always in issue in action and I can’t say I’m any good at direct combat myself, Revenant repeats ‘prey’ and ‘man’ often in the action, and a grasp of appropriate movements and the balance between description and motion is something you both could look at to improve here; specifically, start a post with a response to the previous action, discuss/comment/reflect/describe, then end on a similar action, don’t be afraid to throw the scenery at your opponent as an indirect attack – you can have lightning hit the mast and it fall down towards you both, with your post closing action being you rolling out of the way instead of just plain old ‘slap him in the general facial area.’

Persona (7/6)

Revenant’s inner turmoil and dark mystery, as well as the sense of disturbance in the closing post certainly wins out here. I love your character, Chosen, but the Egyptology blatantly present needs to…well, needs to be disguised or toned down; you have the basic outline of an entire civilization, so feel free to remould the pharaoh and Nile to fit into Althanas – create your own pantheon of gods and your own desert kingdom, so as to make the character more your own, as opposed to a clone of the Mummy, or other such icon.

Writing Style (16/16)

Technique (5/5)

Very fundamental heavy here, now you’ve got the basics down well, go out there and find yourself a personal touch to writing; how you find it, heaven knows, but it’s out there!

Mechanics (6/6)

A few minor errors, and transition errors between thought/grammar and the like, certainly above average.

Clarity (5/5)

Bob’s your uncle, that’s a job done!

Wild Card (5/6)

56 to Revenant!
57 to Chosen of the Gods!

Chosen of the Gods Wins!



My humble apologies, I don't as of yet know how to correctly calculate battle xp, I'll get someone on it who will reward you your XP in short order, thanks!

[Taskmienster]

Chosen receives : 525 exp and 150 gold

Revenant receives : 157 exp and 75 gold

ADDED!