The cure for boredom is violence

[JadeStorm]

The Citadel.

Even the name sounded overly grandiose. She was here for only one reason; there was little else in Corone that held her attention. And it was nights like this one that she missed the quiet solitude of her home. The forests called to her in a way that this place never could. The teeming throngs of people put her at ill ease; she considered cities to be a breeding ground of stupidity and weakness. The only test truly worth the time it took was the testing of oneself against nature. These bureaucrats that wielded the power of nations and armies were a blight against nature; most of them wouldn't survive a week in the wilderness. Wielding such power when you were so weak was an insult against the natural order of reality.

But Zachary, her lost traveling companion, had been adamant to come here. He was under the impression that he could find his friends here, among the thousands of other vagrants and worthless denizens of this country. And so she had gone along with it. The weeks of fruitless searching had left her bored out of her mind, uncomfortable, and claustrophobic. And so she had taken to whittling away the idle time by matching against the other warriors of these lands.

Tonight, she was the first into this particular chamber. As if reading her mind, the magic of the Citadel began to flow. The walls melted away, exposing a scene she was comfortable and familiar with. A darkened forest stretched all around her, pine and oak trees towering overhead. A thick fog rolled about the ground, obscuring the grasping roots of tree and foliage that would catch an unwary ankle. Birdcalls echoed distantly. Insect wings created a buzzing, hypnotic ambiance.

The night was warm and the smell of pine was thick in the air, almost cloying. Moonlight filtered down through small gaps in the canopy.

She leaned easily against one of the trees, the bark and moss alternatively rough and soft against the parts of her back and shoulder left exposed by her odd armor. The armor itself covered her chest, but left her stomach exposed; her upper arms were also shielded, though her lower arms were uninhibited. The armor seemed to be crafted from jadeite, just as her bow. The quiver of arrows sticking up over her right shoulder gave her a somewhat vague silhouette in the darkness.

Sun Zu Shang whistled softly, a tune she had learned long ago. It was peaceful here, and she absorbed as much of that calm as she could. The explosions and screaming would begin soon enough.

[Black Hand]

It wasn't difficult for me to get wrapped up in the bustle of the big city. Everyone seemed so energetic in Radasanth, the city that seemingly never slept. It felt like an eternity since I had been here, but still the city hadn't changed much. The citadel was still a busy beacon of entertainment for would be warriors, who needed a haven to sharpen their skills. The streets still roared with the same ferocity that they did years prior. This wasn't the first time the Black Hand had sent me to Radasanth and deep down I doubted it would be my last. But here I was in the towering stone halls of the citadel, leaning against a pillar waiting my chance to show what I was made of.

Finally after about three hours an arena was ready and a monk motioned for me to step forward. A slight feeling of anxiety crept into my near hollow skull, tickling at the canvas of white blob and veins that rested within. It was an all to common feeling that came hand in hand with citadel battles. Maybe it was the pure mystery that was behind the citadel. Arenas that were pieced together at the whim of the Ai'Brone, it was difficult to grasp what exactly was waiting for me on the other side of the oak doors.

Seconds after the monk ushered me to the room where I would be fighting, I was entangled by a shifting canvas of oak and moss. All too quickly the room around me morphed into a dark meadow surrounded by a thicket of trees. It would be here where I would test my limits and the limits of whatever poor sap was put before me. I looked upward to the moon and stars and was reminded what my purpose here was. Victory. No matter what was about to appear in the canvas of moss and oak I had to put everything into my fight, and pull out the win. Not only for my own pride, but in the name of the Black Hand, which had supported and sculpted me into the young man I was today.

As I scanned the makeshift arena I spotted the small frame of a woman about a hundred yards ahead. She seemed relaxed and oddly casual, despite what was ahead. She had no idea how ruthless I was and if luck were on my side I wouldn't even have to reveal that to her. I slowly tucked my rough hands in my coat pockets, removing a pair of dented brass knuckles. As I slid my meaty fingers through their echoing slots, I was struck by a flashback of everyone I had ever crushed with these tools. It was something that haunted me every time I managed to put the knuckles on and in a way it fueled me. My array of flashbacks was interrupted by a shriek that bellowed from the depth of the woods. It almost reminded me of the horrifying war chants of the goblins that I had heard during my travels to Scara Brae. Whatever it was though, it was definitely going to throw a kink in plans of making this fight a short one.

[JadeStorm]

Sun's whistling stopped when movement crossed her sight. The man that entered was a stereotypical sight in the Citadel; muscled, black haired, angry. Wholly unsurprising. Without further ado or empty words, the Ranger twisted around to place the tree between them, then sprinted away from it. She ducked and dodged from tree to tree, trusting the darkness and fog to swallow her from her enemy's vision.

When she felt a safe distance away, she leaned against another tree trunk and slid down. Kneeling in the fog, she was obscured from the neck down. The grounded cloud cover would hide the reflections of her armor. Or at least, she hoped they would.

What the hell was that screech?

She slowly retrieved an arrow from her quiver and set it to her bow. Her ears strained for any sound in the darkness, her nose sniffing the air. Intent as she was on her surroundings, the voice that boomed out from everywhere, and nowhere, startled her.

"Welcome! My name is Conan O'Barbarian, and welcome to the Late Fight Show. I will be your Monk Host tonight. And I'm bored as hell of these one-on-one, "My penis is bigger than yours!" fights, so let's make this interesting! The next thing you both think of shall become your army. Your army will follow your commands, help you, and protect you. Fair is fair, and the stronger your helpers are, the less of them there will be. Choose wisely!"

She tried very, very hard not to do it. But as per usual, the Human mind was the greatest saboteur. Her mind completely bypassed ogres, dragons, trolls, and landed on... a rat.

All around her, a million squeaks and rustles drifted up out of the fog. She could feel thousands of tiny feet crawling over her skin, tiny noses prodding at her exposed flesh.

Oh, you have got to be shitting me!

She considered asking for a do over, but then remembered what the Monk had said. The more powerful, the fewer. He'd said it would be a fair fight; so the reverse had to be true as well. The weaker, the more. Probably. Maybe. Hopefully.

She sighed heavily as she leaned out from behind the tree, trying to catch a glimpse of her enemy. She could see nothing.

[Black Hand]

The raspy cocksure voice of a monk spread across the field, or maybe it just entered both of the combatants thoughts. "Welcome! My name is Conan O'Barbarian, and welcome to the Late Fight Show. I will be your Monk Host tonight. And I'm bored as hell of these one-on-one, 'My penis is bigger than yours!' fights, so let's make this interesting! The next thing you both think of shall become your army. Your army will follow your commands, help you, and protect you. Fair is fair, and the stronger your helpers are, the less of them there will be. Choose wisely!"

As always it took my mind a few seconds longer to process what exactly was being said, which sounded like gibberish. For once my absent mindedness worked in my favor though, giving me a few extra seconds to conceive the scribbled image that danced on the edge of my mind. A teddy bear?! It seemed that even the cutest and most cuddly of creatures drifted through the empty halls within my thick skull. I cursed myself, wondering why my mind had the potential of an armless gymnast at times. I could've summoned anything, but for some reason my first thought was a damn childish toy.

The earth shifted and shook beneath me, but what happened next I would've never expected. Not even on my most wild of days would I have thought to see a horde of animated teddy bears. These suckers didn't look bad though, each of them wore a pair of glowing red buttons in the sockets where their eyes should be. Each of them wore a smooth curly coat of brown cloth. They slowly walked through the fog, each of their movements seemed so unnatural. Just as I thought this couldn't get any worse, I caught sight of what my opponent had managed to think up. Rats? I highly doubt this was what Conan O'Barbarian was thinking when he decided to throw this wild card into the fight.

Maybe there was hope after all, I thought as I trudged off into the fog. I hoped the clash of simple creatures would momentarily throw my opponent off guard. I tried hard to ignore the humorous sight of animated dolls and rats duking it out, but as I got further into the thicket I couldn't help but catch a glimpse. I concluded that my bears were utterly useless. Each time they delivered a blow with their stuffed arms the rats would simply swarm them. From what I could tell there was about two rats to every one bear. I shook my head hard and turned just in time to catch a glimpse of my opponent, who was cowering behind a tree not to far ahead. I tightened my grip on the knuckles and sprinted hard, hoping I would catch the foe off guard. It was a chance, but it was one I was willing to take in regards to ending this silly excuse for a battle.

[JadeStorm]

Shit!

Among the chaos, Sun had managed to get herself spotted. For whatever reason, the buffoon was running straight at her. Had he not noticed her bow earlier? Her mind raced along with him, plotting a strategy within seconds. Leaping out from behind the tree, she formed a single image in her head. She concentrated on it, then shouted a single word.

"Go!"

Across the ground, the rats swarmed to imitate the vision in her head. They split into two streams, positioning themselves on either side of her enemy. She lifted her bow, aimed, and released. The arrow streaked away, aimed precisely at his mid-chest. Unless the man possessed extraordinary strength of some kind, he wouldn't be able to hurdle the arrow. And if he chose to dive to either side, the rats under his feet would unbalance him.

As a smirk of triumph crossed her lips, she heard a chilling sound behind her. It reminded her of the warbling hooops of Amazon warriors. She looked up in time to see a train of the devilish Teddy Bears swinging wildly through the forest canopy on twisted, gnarled vines. Tiny, wicked looking daggers glinted duly with moonlight as they launched free. Their voices echoed through the forest like something from a nightmare.

"Keeeeeeeee."

"Keeeekeekeeeee."

"-eeeeeeeee."

Instinct drove her into a tuck and roll to her side, her eyes open but unbelieving.

What the fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck is this?

[Black Hand]

Somehow it had slipped my mind that we could control our creations. My opponent seemed to be doing just fine in that aspect of the battle though, her rats swarmed to my feet upon her command. I tried to think quickly, but my mind was blank, as always. The young archer was preparing her strike and if I didn't act quickly I would fall victim to the precise shot of her bow. Below me was a sea of rats and aimed straight for my chest was an arrow, luckily above me were my stuffed companions. I concluded it would be best to try and stop her attack by using my companions as shields.

"Come down here!" I yelled, I motioned to the rat infested ground below my feet.

To my dismay things didn't quite go as planned. From the canopy above it rained a mass of my creepy little friends. Their frail stuffed bodies weren't enough to deflect the power put behind the well aimed shot though. The archer's arrows caught one of my bears and dragged it through the air towards my chest. At that point it was to late to dodge, so I simply turned my left shoulder into the blow.

The pain that followed was enough to contort my facial expression, from a cocksure grin to an alarmed frown. But better yet I now had not only an arrow stuck in my shoulder and dangling on it was a teddy bear. It had been pierced through it's little floppy ears, so it twitched and convulsed tickling the bulk of my shoulder. If I would've been told before entering this fight that I would have a stuffed animal hanging loosely from my left half like some form body art, there would be no question, I would've said screw this and left.

To make matter's worse the battle between the bears and the rats was brewing, just below my feet. I couldn't help losing my balance but quickly regained it, realizing that I had to do something quickly to take this fight back. Still rattled I dove behind a tree to my left, barely avoiding the swarm of rats and bears that had gathered near me. I gathered what humanity was left in me and ripped the arrow from my shoulder. The bear was now lifeless, that once hung twitching from its shaft. I peeked from behind the tree to see my bears now taking it to the rats but somehow in the confusion I had lost sight of my opponent.

"Find her!" I yelled to my cuddly stuffed minions as I stood from my slump on humiliation, "Find her right now damnit!"

[JadeStorm]

Under siege from the hellish Teddy Bears, Sun Zu Shang retreated through the fog, her bow singing hypnotically. Fluffy stuffing was quickly filling the air, reminding her of a cotton field in a storm of high wind. The sound of rats squealing and squeaking was quickly grinding her nerves raw. She held a mental image in her mind, commanding her army to her bidding. In that image, she saw the rats climbing the trees, raining down from above onto the man chasing her.

Dodging around a tree, she found herself face to face with her opponent. A moment of startled recognition passed between them, and the small-statured Ranger dove into a roll that carried her between the man's legs. She came to her feet with a jolt and sprinted away. As she ran, she spun and loosed an arrow. She doubted the projectile would fly true, considering the duress under which she'd made the shot. She had, however, imbued it with a portion of her magic. Upon impact, the arrow would explode in a furious but small eruption of kinetic energy.

All was going well enough, until her foot landed on something furry. She had just enough time to catch a glimpse of a Teddy Bear mushed under her foot before she went down in an epic sprawl of legs and arms. Unable to control her centrifugal force as she had while diving beneath the man, her arrows spilled out of her quiver in a tidal wave. She was lucky enough, however. A few of the projectiles remained in her quiver.

Laying on her back, a sigh escaped her lips. This was the definition of chaos, and the fact that she found it highly amusing alluding to her encroaching insanity. She had to get out of this city, and soon.

She heard movement, and knew that her enemy was closing on her. She struggled to a sitting position, forming another command in her mind. A flood of rats charged toward her from all directions, and she lifted her butt off the floor momentarily. When she sat it back down, she felt a wiggling, squirming carpet of creatures beneath her. Though it felt highly disturbing, she fought the instinct to flail, squeal, and run away. Instead, she gave another mental command.

And sitting on a parade float made of squeaking rodents, she shot another arrow from her bow as they carried her away from her opponent.