The Buzz-Off (closed)

[Hysteria]

Talen's blue eyes opened. The citadel was truly something of a wonder. The shadow puppeteer had entered it a few times before to do battle, but this time the fight was in a place that was truly foreign. The shadow warrior stood dressed in his normal ragged attire; a black slightly faded cloak with a black shirt and pants. The arena however was far more interesting.

Talen stood just off centre of a massive dome structure created from metre wide hexagonal wax cells. Each of the five-sided cells were filled with a thick sticky honey-like liquid that emitted a dull glow. Together the light caused a near daytime effect in the cavern. The honey was held in by a thin membrane which caused a cushion like effect for the ones on the flat surface Talen stood on. Although Talen didn't realise it, the force that it would take to rip through such a membrane was fairly small and should someone jump onto the centre of one of these hexagons they would most probably fall into the sticky honey.

The young man turned his pale face to the roof of the dome and looked around. He took at deep breath and tried to quiet his beating heart. The room was impressive, but there was an ominous four metre wide opening a few metres above the ground at the far side of the dome. Talen laid his hand on the hit of one of the two swords that were at his side. He had a bad feeling about this.

Open to cade_smith and Darion Ragnar.

Four posts in (my next post) we shall introduce the fourth NPC combatant that shall add some more competition for us :)

[Cade_Smith]

His head was throbbing. Like the beat of a war drum the young sorcerer followed the rhythmic pattern in his head with each step. An unassuming figure, Cade was hardly a threat to anyone other than himself the vast majority of the time. Soldiers, mercenaries, and other magic users could easily beat him to a pulp if they felt like it. A couple of them already had. Days had passed since his first excursion into the Citadel, and since then he had learned a lot about himself. He was not strong enough to call himself a mage, yet had magic at his command nonetheless. Skills with the sling and staff were not enough to stand against a sword wielding, armor wearing, warrior of any sort. The boy was hardly old enough to drink, much less be called a man, and his youth and inexperience had shown through in both fights.

Cade shoved the door to the new arena aside. Anger was painted across his face, heavy strokes of crimson overlapping the soft cream colored canvas beneath. The monks had tried to stop him, tell him that there were only already scheduled and in progress battles. The young man wanted to learn more, dedicate more time to fighting, and the monks trying to stop him was not in his plans. We’ll see about no rooms being available. I don’t care if I have to fight the Red Halo himself!

What a mistake he had made, charging into a random room without asking even the slightest questions about what to expect. He was left with his mouth open, eyes squinted, and his head slightly tilted. An arena made of the inside of a honeycomb. Cade quickly turned around to open the door he had entered, but as always it disappeared as soon as he stepped in. Sheepishly, the sorcerer turned back towards the man who was waiting in the room.

“Well,” the young man sighed with a shrug. Both hands pushed against his forehead. His fingers were cold, and the cool touch helped the thudding in his head. Heated and ready to fight, the boy’s body was overheating and his stomach felt as if it was rolling in place. “Seems that I’m stuck.”

[Hysteria]

Darion, if you’re still interested post whenever, as long as we both aren’t unconscious on the ground and all you have to do is stab our defenceless bodies. I’ll hold off on the insect to see what happens.

The dark haired boy looked at the opened that had just entered through a disappearing door. Idely he wondered why he was never aware of entering the arena. The boy put it down to some sort of magic compatibility or some other arcane regulation. Quickly Talen’s blue eyes scanned the boy. He was around the same age as Talen, though the shadow puppeteer was nearly a foot taller and quite a bit heavier. This did little however to reassure the Shadow Puppeteer, he had learn’t a long time ago that appearances could be deciving.

He’s probably going to grow twenty feet or something knowing my luck.

“Stuck seems like a suitable word,” replied the Shadow Wielder to the trying to hide the quaking in his voice, “Lets do this.”

Best not to waste time talking I suppose. Strike them before they strike you; just like Mal used to say.

Driven by the words of the closest thing he had to a mentor, Talen slowly drew his Katana. The steel blade hovered nervously for a second, till two hands grasp the hilt. The dark warrior walked slowly forwards, careful to keep his centre of gravity slightly lower than normal to allow for quick movements. If he had been paying attention he would have noticed how squishy the hexagonal cell membrane was below his feet.

[Cade_Smith]

Cade tried to keep his feet on the borders of the hexagonal shaped combs as he moved. He was not sure what would happen if he stepped on the pillow like orange-yellow substance. The sorcerer watched his opponent remove the steel sword, a curved blade he had never seen before. Legends had it that the weapon came from a providence to the East of Corone, Akashima. The warriors from the strange land were renowned for their speed, agility, and ability with their unique weapon. Cade wondered, for half a moment, if he had let his flustered attitude draw him into a battle he could not handle.

With an oak staff, and just a few minor spells, the younger man knew he was in a position that was not favorable. He spun the weapon as he had seen other men do, emulating their poise and stance. He was not as adept at attacking or defending with the weapon as others he had fought and those he had watched, but learning from experience – as he was told – was the best way to learn. It seemed to him, though, that he was going to be fighting against someone that knew what they were doing far more than just copying what they had seen.

The sorcerer put his staff in his strong hand, clenched it tightly, and held it like a knight’s lance. Instead of waiting and playing the defensive battle that he was used to doing, Cade charged forward. His feet were steadily dropping along the edges of the membranes. Boots were heavy against the edge of the honey comb, and he was concentrating just as much on the placement of his feet as the aim of his staff. The long weapon was thrust forward when he came within distance. Oak reached for his opponents chest, not meant to thrust through in case the man avoided the blow. Cade wanted to see which way he dodged, how he moved, and what counter attacks he might employ.

[Hysteria]

Focus… focus…

Talen watched as the man impressively twirled his staff. Doubt again welled up inside the Shadow Puppeteer and once more he forced it back down. A cool calm settled over him as he felt the emotion drain from his mind. His young face hardened.

The staff wielding man approached. Talen reacted like a tightly coiled spring. His sword came up and contacted the staff, nudging it slightly to his right. His legs seemed to act on their own accord and he jumped to the left and lifted his sword high ready to strike. His left leg came down on the soft squishy floor and he started to bring his sword down.

Yes! I am actual do…

There was a slight squelching sound as the membrane under Talen’s foot tore. His foot quickly shot into the goo and the momentum of his attack was stopped before he even had time to swing his blade. There was a dull thud as his chest hit the ground, his entire left leg entering the jelly-like substance. The young warrior’s ended up lying flat on the ground one leg on top the surface and the other below.

“SHIT!” Cursed Talen; pushing himself up with his left arm and grasping his sword in his right. He stabbed weakly towards his opponent’s stomach trying to push him back.

[Cade_Smith]

The staff was struck, ever so elegantly, and shoved to the side. It was obvious immediately that the man had more skill with defensive combat than Cade had seen present in any of his other fights. The sorcerer was about to move quickly to counter, strike around the extended weapon. His staff was pulled back. His arms were coiled, both hands wrapping around the base instead of just one. As he turned slightly on the tips of his toes he saw his opponent move. The man was quick. Cade was looking nearly over his shoulder at a raised blade, the eerie light filtering through the sacks of honey wrapping the deadly sword. Mentally he cursed the gods and attempted to turn to meet his foe.

Instead, the gods favored him with a quick, decisive stroke of luck. Disadvantaged became advantageous as the situation turned from an exposed flank to an unsteady counter-attack. Cade watched the man’s leg sink through the comb, devoured by the sticky liquid held within. The young man, concerned with what would come of plunging an unsteady step into the hexagonal floor, was surprised to find out that they were indeed within the belly of a massive honey comb.

“What the…” Cade whispered as he stepped away from his fallen foe and watched the half-hearted attack easily miss him. He was staring at the man, wondering what to do. On one hand he had gained a momentous step towards the end of the fight. His opponent was trapped and he had nothing but time on his hands. On the other hand, was it fair to take advantage of a mishap that could have easily happened to either of them? Morality struck his young, inexperienced mind, and he was left with questions of what he should do.

“I’m sorry,” he muttered as he freed a white knuckled grip from the end of the staff. His hand instantly caught fire. A small ball of magical flames was summoned, and he was not going to let morality stand in his way. The Citadel was a place to prove one’s self, not a place to give mercy nor to expect any. Cade held his hand parallel to the soft ground and let fly his fireball. Aimed at a nearly defenseless opponent, he almost felt bad about his actions. But who was going to fault him for taking any situational and arena created advantage that he could?

[Hysteria]

Talen's hastily thrown attack missed as his opponent calmly stepped backwards out of reach. It had worked at least in pushing his opponent backwards. However, that was more of a double sided sword. Talen tried to free himself by rolling over but the sudden stillness of his opponent attracted his attention.

The staff-weilding man had a strange look on his face, an odd mixture of pity and shame. Talen paused too, it was not something he was expecting to see. A muttered apology was quickly followed by a ball of fire. Talen's eyes opened wide in shock as the ball soared towards him. He dropped his Katana and grabbed his cloak pulled it over himself. The fire ball smashed into his back, burning quickly through his cloak.

Talen roared with pain and pushed himself on to his side. His hands scraped across the floor as he pushed himself backwards; freeing himself from the honey. Talen twisted around so he was on all fours. Pain ripped down his back with everyone of his quick breaths, he quickly ripped off his cloak and shirt and threw them to the side. The feeling of the material across his back was nearly unbearable.

Darkness seemed to stretch across Talen's face. The slight dimming quickly turned into large black shadows. They bent and lifted from his skin, twisting and bending into a large snarling wolf mask. Talen was buying time, he was angry, but felt powerless. His hand reached to his belt, he had dropped his sword but his Wakizashi was still there. The Shadow Puppeteer darted forwards, using his hands and feet to spread his weight across the honey hexagonals. He moved around the broken cell and at his opponent. He reached across his chest, trying to hide his hand grasping the hilt of his sword. The large shadowy head opened its jaws like it was going to try and bite down, but just before it did, the shadowy head split and faded away. Talen was already slashing his sword from his crouching position aiming to slice the boy's left thigh in half.

[Cade_Smith]

A well placed attack, and the advantage was suddenly given to Cade. The momentum of the battle could change with even the slightest of wounds inflicted on an opponent. The sorcerer had found that out first hand, many first blows were against him and not advantageous to his mental stability. A wound was a distraction in a battle; a severe one could take the mind of an opponent out of the fight completely. Cade took no pleasure in seeing the flaming cloak. The fire raged suddenly and furiously, eating at the flammable cloth the man wore. Momentum had indeed shifted.

Keep your head, the sorcerer reminded himself. A wounded opponent was one that could easily change his strategy from concentrated focus on what he had been taught… to instinctual bestial tactics that befit an animal. As if to give rise to the worry that flowed through the mind of the boy, his opponent’s face was changed. Shadows that clung to his downcast face, covering most of the snarling light expression that he held, suddenly grew. They became a mask. A wolf of darkness formed from the black shadows. It grew; as if alive it opened its maw and settled its sights on its opponent.

Breath became light. Heart raced furiously. Cade was confronted with something he had never encountered, and the previous advantageous situation that had come from his wounding of Talen was lost. His legs felt like rubber, weak and traitorously attempting to ignore their duty. He shifted his feet as the other man rushed him, the wolf head becoming something real. It seemed that the entire arena lost its light, all the darkness of the mask influencing the comb itself.

Then, there was a moment of clarity. He was suddenly struck, as if by divine intervention. His arms moved on their own. His hands gripped the base of the staff once again, and swung it in a wide arch that crossed his body. Like an axe levied against the trunk of a tree, he pushed all his might into the attack. Oak staff against sword aimed for his body, he could only hope that he had a distance advantage that would allow him to connect the end of his weapon with the other man’s face. At the same time, he moved his legs, as if they were suddenly given reason to regain their original purpose.

A pain crossed through his body, something altogether ethereal in nature. It was a clean wound across his exposed thigh. The sharp end of the opponent’s sword savagely bit into the muscle, cleanly cutting through Cade’s pants and creating a sudden blossom of blood in a straight line. The sorcerer started to look down, even as his staff continued its arch, but saw that the red line was nothing more than what appeared to be a shallow wound. So clean was the slice, it had yet entered into the stage of true peril that it would become though. The blow was no shallow wound, it was a deep cut through the muscle, but the blood that pumped had yet to catch up to the physical blow.

[Hysteria]

Talen in his crouched position had been successful in his attack, but he had left himself wide open. During his training his mentor had tried to teach him the basics of fighting; watch your footing, guard yourself and plan ahead. The inexperienced warrior however had forgotten to do all three. Talen watched with misplaced satisfaction as his blade sliced into the leg of his opponent. The blade slid out of the flesh after drinking the sorcerers blood. Talen's blue eyes were focused on the gleaming red blade as he looked at bringing the blade around again to strike his opponent. He would not get the chance.

There was movement to Talen's left. He turned his head slightly just in time to see the base of the staff before it struck his head. The young boy staggered sideways and dropped his blade as the blow filled his head with noise. His vision blurred as he collapsed on the soft cushion of honey and lay still. He tried to focus on his opponent standing just in front of him, but could only make out a hazy shape. Soon even that faded as Talen past out.

I reckon that close he'd be knocked out. Did you want one more post to finish him off?

I think next time I need a sheild against missile attacks. Maybe some sort of atomic powered death clock.

[Cade_Smith]

Cade’s staff cracked like a whip. The concussion made the oak quiver, causing the hands of the sorcerer to shake as well. It was a powerful blow. A lucky blow. If the man had dared to duck, had seen the attack even out of the corner of his eye, it would never had connected. The boy was lucky, that was all there was to it. His skill had proved to be instinctual, but it was better than no skill at all. Grunting, Cade fell away from where his opponent dropped. The sword Talen held fell away even as the man stumbled. It did not clatter as it would have if it hit some other form of ground, but seemed to almost bounce off the soft floor.

“Huh…” Even the drop of his opponent, the sword the man used, and the sudden stop to the battle were hardly enough to make the sorcerer believe. Talen fell to the combed ground and went limp. His face was reddened and swelling slowly. Cade thought he might have cracked his jaw, maybe even his skull. It was surprising, considering he had never really thought there was much power behind his attacks. Furthermore, plenty of people from those he had fought in the Citadel to those he had met outside of it had told him over and over that a weapon without metal attached was no weapon at all.

Then it hit him, almost as hard as the staff had hit Talen. The blood loss from his leg was creating problems for his entire body. Head suddenly light, he looked at the sword and the spray of blood that had spread thinly across one of the honey membranes. It looked like a setting sun. Crimson heavily coated the bottom of the bubbled comb and was thinner as it spread upwards towards the golden center. “Must have cut… much deeper.”

Woozily, and with a stomach that felt empty but still wanted to empty itself further, Cade laid his head back. He closed his eyes and smiled. It was his first victory in the Citadel.


((submiting now!))

[Mutant_Lorenor]

The Buzz-Off!!!

Gentlemen! Its always nice to see our newcomers working to make a name for themselves. I look forward to following both of your careers closely. I will be putting Cade in Bold and Talen in Italics. Before we get into that, I enjoyed reading the thread. There was a certain tension to it when I discovered what the arena was, a tension that could have been exploited by either of you. I was waiting to see giant wasps, bees, a queen-bee, anything that would have made the world created within the thread that much more believable. An opportunity was missed, but I will explain that further in my judgment.

∼Story∼This was a pretty interesting read. I kept feeling tension whenever the honeycomb arena was mentioned. I was waiting for giant bees or wasps, or -something- to jump out at the audience and grip them with terror. As I mentioned above, this did not happen so I feel that you guys missed an opportunity.

∼Continuity∼In general, I didn't get that much of a sense of continuity from either of you guys. There were a few lines, but I'll explain these in their proper slots.

∼Cade Smith∼4/10∼You did strive to provide some background information and mentioned previous post. Cade often thinks about past-endeavors and this played well into the thread. I would have liked to see a much richer history displayed. Remember, the history is what makes a character who they are. It doesn't have to be epic and expanding across hundreds of thread, but you can definitely work to make mention of most of your recent adventures.

∼Talen Shadowalker∼2/10-I saw very little in terms of continuity from you here. However, you did mention your character's mentor for a brief period of time towards the end of the thread. I would have like to see more. Who is your character's mentor? What importance does he hold to Telan as part of his history? What exactly did his mentor instruct Talen in? Answering these questions helps create a richer history and a more believable back-story.

∼Setting∼The setting was very interesting here. And both of you guys had an opportunity to create something very spectacular and unique. I feel that an opportunity was missed. (See below in the Setting analysis) I would have had the giant creatures lurking within the shadows of the honeycomb arena become a clear and present danger. At least that's just how I think.

∼Cade Smith∼3/10∼Here you scored slightly lowered. Though setting was mentioned, it was clearly not the strong-point of your writing style. I would have liked to see more.

∼Talen Shadowalker∼5/10∼You did a good job of illustrating where the setting was, what the situation was (Exactly as dire as I would expect it to be) and this helped to create tension. You get more points here for having your character fall into one of the honey-cells. Kudos to you.

∼Pacing∼Both of you guys have a unique writing style. I enjoyed reading this thread. However, some writing errors hurt the flow of the thread (Especially on the behalf of Talen) and I had to re-read a few parts of the story just to be sure I understood what was going on.

∼Cade Smith∼5/10∼You have a very interesting writing style. I am actually a fan of it. Your pessimistic style clearly depicts Cade as someone who lacks confidence in himself and is slowly (But surely) earning it through steady practice and combat experience. Cade is an interesting character and I look forward to learning more about him as you develop him. The pacing of the story from your end was generally easy to understand, though I don't understand why you didn't try to light the whole honeycomb on fire. That would have played much more into the setting of the story and eliminated your opponent much sooner. In general, I liked what you did in the story and I laughed out loud when I saw Cade begin to develop his hard-core edge and burn a helpless Talen. That actually brightened up day hahah.

∼Talen Shadowalker∼3/10∼You should use a grammar check and a spell check. I think you do use a spell check, but you let small mistakes in every so often. (This will be explained in the Writing Style section of this judgment. In general though, I mostly understood what you were trying to do in the story. However, when you attempted to use the Shadow Illusion ability, I found myself a bit lost. Much more detail could have been used here so I could easily understand what it was you were trying to do. Be more careful in the future. Some character(s) on Althanas have heightened senses and can see through your character's illusions.

∼Character∼Both of you cats have interesting characters. Remember, for this category of the rubric you have to show and not tell how interesting the characters really are. I saw very little in terms of actual dialogue, either internal or otherwise and what I did see wasn't that dynamic in my eyes. I saw more effort from Cade in terms of the internal thoughts and dialogue. Kudos.

∼Dialogue∼This was one of the most lacking areas of the thread next to Setting. Neither of you guys tried very hard to show-case how the characters talks, or thinks. I didn't see very much in terms of internal dialogues either, this writing technique helps flesh out a character and make him or her more believable. In the future, strive for a more believable, realistic story. What actually lead to Cade's ultimately decision making process that pushed him over the edge? Why did Talen wait so long to use his Shadow Illusion ability? These questions and many others still remained unanswered throughout the thread.

∼Cade Smith∼2/10∼You had just about the same amount of dialogue as your opponent, if not less. I didn't see anything mind-blowing here and I expect better from you.

∼Talen Shadowalker∼2/10∼Towards the end, I saw a bit more dialogue from you, but it wasn't a particularly strong showing. What makes a Shadow Puppeteer tick? What is it that he stands for? Dialogue can give your story-telling an edge, so use it with frequency.

∼Action∼The battle was a quick read. I didn't have a hard time up until Talen employed his Shadow Illusion ability. I found myself re-reading that post a couple of times to be certain that you were in fact, using your Shadow Illusion ability and not something else. (I.E. Power-Gaming) You weren't power-game but the ability use was a little iffy. Remember, there are those of us whose greatest attributes are our character's senses. Some characters -will- be able to see through the Illusion.

∼Cade Smith∼5/10∼You could have played up a certain event in the story. At least I would have since it represented the main climax of the story. When Cade considers attacking a helpless Talen, I would have played this up further. You missed an opportunity to get into the brutal psychological ramifications a siege warfare. You actually would have scored higher if you would have played this specific scene out. I thought it was one of the most crucial scenes in the story, and it reflected the changes that Cade has been going through. Kudos.

∼Talen Shadowalker∼3/10∼I had a general understanding of everything you were trying to do. However, in the future, be very cautious about how you use your Shadow Illusion ability. There's too much room for power-gaming with it. I think that you didn't power-game here which was a good thing, but always be weary of it. I had to re-read that post that you used the Shadow Illusion ability once or twice just to make sure you were doing everything to the character's current ability. (And yes, I double-checked your registered R.O.G. profile for level 0 to be -certain- that you weren't trying to swindle me) Be careful with the ability in the future, and remember, some of us Althanians have tricks that work around Illusions. No Illusion is perfect, especially not at level 0. Just be weary of that.

∼Persona∼As explained above in the Action criteria of the rubric, both of you missed a chance to really show-case a great story. You guys had a very neat setting (Explained in Setting) and I would have played it up a lot more. However, what was done was well enough and went along well with both of your character's personalities.

∼Cade Smith∼4/10∼I am curious to see what you have planned for Cade in the future. I see the beginnings of an incredibly famous Mage being worked out little by little. I always enjoyed Year 1 stories, as they explained the Origins of a character. Cade is someone who is slowly gaining his confidence after each trial and tribulation. I didn't expect Cade to develop such a hard-edge so suddenly. I would have even played it up further than what you showcased in the thread. You have to assume that your audience has never read anything about your character and doesn't know anything about your character. I would have also shown the psychological repercussions of Cade developing his edge. He has gone a long way from an innocent youth to a gladiator of The Citadel. Kudos.

∼Talen Shadowalker∼3/10∼Again, I got very little history of the character named Talen Shadowalker except during the end. You missed an opportunity to really get into Talen's origin. I would have liked to see a flash-back sequence or something, anything to flesh your character out further. I got a generally bland individual that didn't seem to know why he was in The Citadel to begin with. As you pointed it in that certain line, you said that Talen hadn't even ever recalled entering The Citadel to begin with. Other than that, he was a standard warrior that only briefly touched upon what it meant to be a Shadow Puppeteer. This Job Class seems very interesting to me, but I had no idea what it was. I would like to see further development from you in this category.

∼Writing Style∼Both of you had a generally straight-forward writing style. I saw a stronger showing from Cade, and Talen had a few errors throughout his posts. I will get into these in a moment or two in their appropriate rubric categories.

∼Mechanics∼I found your writing styles easy to understand, for the most part, however, typos and grammar errors on Talen's behalf hurt your scores in this section of the rubric.

∼Cade Smith∼5/10∼You have a very strong writing style. You clearly double-check your posts before posting anything up on the site. I'm impressed with the progress that you are making. Kudos to you.

∼Talen Shadowalker∼2[i]/10∼A couple of grammar errors, and typos really hurt your score here. Make sure you double check your posts to avoid future mistakes.

∼Technique∼I didn't see too many uses of literary devices here. However, the setting was used effectively on Talen's behalf. (Explained in the Setting score) I want to feel like I'm [I]in the world that you guys have created.

∼Cade Smith∼3/10∼Your writing style is very impressive but you don't dabble too much from your general style. Writing should have a life to it, and the characters should pop up from the words and the worlds you are trying to create. I feel you could have done better if you were to experiment more with various writing techniques and paint a tapestry of epic adventures and symphonies. You have the skill, now develop the style!!! Kudos!!!

∼Talen Shadowalker∼2/10∼I saw a few grammar errors and typos as mentioned in the Mechanics portion of the rubric. Edit your own work more meticulously and your scores here will improve.

∼Clarity∼I understood the story and only had to re-read it when Talen used his Shadow Illusion ability. Kudos to the both of you for a job well done.

∼Cade Smith∼4/10∼I like your writing style, I sincerely do. But you don't make adequate use of setting and the persona side of your character to increase your score in Clarity. Keep writing though and your score here will get better. In general though, I understand the writing style you use and it is quite pleasant to read if not very emo ;) !!!

∼Talen Shadowalker∼3/10∼Your writing style is also very straight-forward and you seem set in writing shorter posts. Try to write longer descriptions that are clearer and thought out with greater skill. Don't give up! Your character is potentially very interesting and I would like to see you develop him a lot better. In general, this has to do with how well you write, and how much you love your character. But besides the typos that hurt your score, you did a generally good job here. Kudos to you my friend.

∼Wild Card∼Both of you guys missed an opportunity here. I was expecting giant wasps, or giant bugs, or giant -anything- to jump out and reach out for me at any point throughout the thread. The thread was short, and I wish you guys could have made it considerably longer. Though I enjoyed it, I believe you guys missed a couple of key elements critical to outstanding storytelling.

∼Cade Smith∼4/10∼You would have scored higher here if not for the fact that you let an opportunity that was crucial to character development slide. Instead of really playing up the "wow" moment of the thread (Cade attacking a helpless Talen with a fireball spell) you did it in a very matter-of-fact kind of way. I would like you to be weary of this in the future and remember, you are telling a story and stories are about growth and character development. Next time, really show the psychological conflict that Cade is experiencing!

∼Talen Shadowalker∼5/10∼You did an awesome job here. You took some hits that I rarely see people taking. Further, you went so far as to have your character get trapped in the honey that was everywhere, setting yourself up for Cade's attack. Very well played my good man. Kudos to you. I would like to see more awesomeness from you in the future, keep up the good job.

∼Totals∼

Talen Shadowalker∼30/100=Talen Shadowalker gets 150 Experience and 50 Gold (My Reward to you)

Cade Smith∼39/100=Cade Smith Wins!!! Cade Smith gets 450 Experience and 100 Gold (My Reward to you)

In conclusion, I hope you guys develop an actual storyline with your characters. They have a potentially interesting relationship and could be used as a plot mechanic for future stories. Keep up the good work gentlemen, I look forward to seeing more stuff from either of you in the near future. Congrats to both of you, everybody is a winner here on Althanas!!!

[Zook Murnig]

EXP and GP added!